Heartbreaking Reverberations
by merder4lifetime
Summary: Beyond the post it wedding. It was sweet, romantic and tender, as a prelude to a wedding. But we've been told "it was the wedding", and big reverberations forthcoming, implying the shoe is about to drop. This explores S. Rhimes cryptic message.
1. Chapter 1

_I've had this idea in mind for a long while, long before the finale of season five, and as have been waiting for the rug from being pulled out from under us again. The "Post it wedding," was a tender, sweet, romantic "prelude" to a wedding; one that it seems Ms. Rhimes believes should not take place. The comments made hours after the end of season five, precipitated wanting to write it out. Reverberations of the post it note, as Ms. Rhimes indicated._

_I'm a die hard Meredith & Derek fan, and believe me in spite of the title and Grey's creator's cryptic tone, this one or two shot, will end as it should, and hope would not disappoint any of you that want to read this. But, I'm thinking I want to diffuse all that is now left hanging over our heads, just waiting for the other shoe to drop where this couple is concerned._

_There were two scenes, which I can't post you tube here, that to me clearly showed Meredith indeed was ready and wanted to be married to Derek that day._

_However, Grey's creator has stated the following, and I respectfully disagree._

**Did Meredith and Derek really get married last night?**

RHIMES: Their wedding was a Post-it note. We had a big series of discussions about it in the writers' room. I felt very strongly -- very very strongly -- that the last thing Meredith Grey would do is put on a wedding dress and walk down an aisle. It just felt wrong to me, Meredith being Meredith. And the Post-it wedding will have big reverberations next season.

**Will we still get an official wedding at some point?**

RHIMES: I think they feel it is an official wedding.

**Meredith and Derek fans felt a little cheated by the 100th episode because they were led to believe one thing and they got another**.

RHIMES: Yeah, I saw a lot of people felt like, "Oh my god, they promised it was going to be a Meredith and Derek wedding." I never said it was Meredith and Derek's wedding, I said it was their wedding day.

_I posted the first two paragraphs I wrote last week on another board and asked if there was an interest in reading, and there was, so wrote the first chapter today. Let me know if there's interest in reading the rest here. Warm regards, Jasmin_

**_Heartbreaking reverberations - _****Chapter 1 - "Beyond the Post it wedding" **

"Plenty of time," Derek had said several weeks before, confident of their future life together, and posted the blue note on her locker, a three by three square piece of paper that held promises of forever.

"Plenty of time," Meredith kept hearing those words, a litany of heartache, over and over again. Her entire body numb, and hours after her world had once again become undone, she sat staring beyond the immediate distance, reliving the last twenty four hours, while the hollow empty gaze of her eyes deeply affected all those that loved her, and even some who still harbored no affection toward her. All who loved her, except the man she gave her heart to, her soul mate. He'd been wrong. Time had run out for them.

Meredith felt a renewed sense of panic and despair. It had been months since she last experienced a panic attack, but now everything had caught up with her with a vengeance and she could feel the familiar tightening of her lungs, the threat of breathing becoming difficult and she would not let everyone around her, gawking at what she knew must seem like a catatonic state, witness her breakdown. However, before that could happen, the wave of nausea rolled in and she stood attempting to run away, and as she did the lightheaded sensation forced her to reach behind her praying she'd find an anchoring structure to hold on to but failed as dizziness overwhelmed her and before she could react her body gave out and her world became black. Black as the future she feared was in store for her, for them.

Mark Sloan had been talking quietly to Lexie as they watched Meredith with concern, and when she got up he knew immediately something was wrong and quickly bridged the distance between them and caught her before her body slumped to the floor.

Alarmed voices filled the confines of the surgical waiting area as Mark rushed Meredith to an examining room, while calling out to Lexie, "page Bailey, 911" and another six people followed him crowding the small room as he began by taking her blood pressure.

"What's going on," Bailey's voice commanded walking down the hall and facing Lexie, "Grey there better be a good reason for a 911."

"It was… Mark…Dr. Sloan," she said, " Meredith…she fainted…passed out…he's…"

"Where is she?" Bailey asked now running right along Lexie until she reached the room where Meredith lay in a crowded examining room a mere two minutes after her world had slipped away from her.

Mark was taking her blood pressure and had given orders for an EKG, and that was what greeted Miranda Bailey as the mobile unit was brought in amidst the chaos and raised voices that abounded.

"Everyone," she raised her voice, "out."

Numerous complaints included, "we're doctors too; I'm her person; I'm her sister."

"Then you should know better. All of you, out now," she ordered and all reluctantly obeyed, leaving her only with Sloan. "What happened?"

"I don't know," Mark responded as he took a deep breath and removed the cuff. "She was sitting in the waiting room without saying a word, and then she got up and I could tell something was wrong and caught her right before she hit the floor.

"What's her BP?"

"On the low side," he said, "I asked that the EKG…" he stopped as Meredith stirred and looked around the room and attempted to raise her head, but again was met with the earlier dizzy and lightheaded betrayal by her body.

"Grey," Bailey spoke as she stood next to her holding her wrist while taking her pulse, "you know better than to try to get up."

"What…what happened…" she said looking around the room.

"You passed out, dropped to the ground," Mark smiled, "well, almost if I hadn't been there to catch you, you could have just asked you know," he said, a miserable failed attempt at humor, "instead of trying to make Shep jealous."

"I passed out," she repeated, "fainted…how long…"

"Apparently so," Bailey said, "and you were out just a couple minutes from what I can tell, but we're going to take an EKG and figure out what's going on."

Meredith took a deep breath, recalling her need to get up and leave the room as she had began to feel everything closing in around her, then… all went black, surely something more had happened, "oh God…" she said with a half broken sob, "it's Derek, what's wrong…all I remember…I got up…and …tell me," she was becoming increasingly agitated, "Mark…please…tell me what's wrong…he's…he's…"

Mark reached for her hand, "right now, let's take care of you…"

"Oh…no…" she tried to get up, "Derek…he can't…Mark…tell me," she pleaded, "tell me he's ok."

"Meredith," Miranda said, in an unusually gentle tone, "you know Derek has the best possible care, but you're our concern right now."

"No," she said emphatically. "I need to know, please…Miranda…it's his second surgery…please…tell me did something else go wrong?"

"No," Mark interrupted, "nothing has changed."

"You…you wouldn't lie…"

"I would not lie to you," Mark assured her.

"It's been...Mark, it's been too long since he's been in surgery…can you go…please check on him."

"Go on," Miranda Bailey said, "go on…we all need to hear good news."

"I'll be back," Mark said, and squeezed her hand."Do as she tells you."

"Meredith," Miranda said softly, "we'll do an EKG and figure out…"

"I don't need an EKG," Meredith protested.

"Sure you do," Miranda stated firmly, "Grey, you know that's fairly standard when someone passes out cold."

"Not if it's a matter of a couple of minutes… you know that."

"Well we're not going to take any chances, and have to put up with that husband of yours and his temper for not taking care of you properly."

"Oh…God," Meredith said, "oh…God…" she repeated as tears pooled in her eyes, and then whispered quietly, "there was no time…no time…and now…he…he could be gone…and he doesn't know… he doesn't know…" she said before she began to sob.

Miranda Bailey prided herself in being able to maintain professional detachment, but also knew she was a fake, for she did become emotionally involved with patients, especially patients that in spite of the age difference making it impossible for them to be her children, they sometimes were. Meredith Grey and her friends were indeed like family, and Miranda's maternal feelings were never too far away, though certainly disguised, unless they were faced with the harsh cold reality of life and death situations.

Meredith's body was wracked with heart wrenching sobs, and every once in a while, she would utter a discernible word as Miranda held her and allowed her to cry, "he doesn't know…he doesn't know."

"Meredith," Miranda tried to soothe, "what doesn't he know…what is it…what doesn't Derek know?"

"No time," Meredith said as the tiny woman held her, "Derek said we had plenty of time…and now…he may be gone…Dr. Bailey…I can't lose him…I can't lose him now."

"Listen to me," Miranda released her hold on her and held her tear filled gaze, "your husband is not going to die. He is far too stubborn…but if you don't let me take care of you now, I'm going to have one very angry attending reminding me he's my boss…and raking me over the coals for not doing a full work up on his wife," she emphasized, unaware of the effect those words would have on Meredith.

"He's not," Meredith said quietly, tears slowly escaping, "no time," she said again, and Miranda began to worry as she was not making sense, but then Meredith uttered the words that would bring heartbreaking reverberations.

"Derek," her voice quivered, and her entire body trembled, "he…he's not my husband," Meredith said as a stunned looking Miranda was rendered speechless just seconds after Mark opened the door and she turned to witness the incredulous gazes directed their way by Derek's sisters and Carolyn Shepherd as they stood beyond the slightly open door.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you all for your numerous comments and patience. Suddenly, the characters spoke before I could provide more insight into the medical condition. Revelations are made in different way I'd intended for this chapter, but think somehow this works just as well, if not better._

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 2 **

"Meredith," Miranda Bailey spoke quietly, concerned etched in her features as she met Mark's gaze, "we're going to run some additional test, just to make sure everything's ok, you know it isn't normal for someone to just pass out unexpectedly."

"Mark," Meredith ignored her, "please tell me about Derek, is he all right, why is it taking so long…there's no reason…not unless…oh God…Mark…tell me…please…"

"He's fine, and they should be done in about twenty minutes."

"Mark, it's been too long…you know that…" she insisted.

"They actually started a little later than we thought, so it's really not that long."

"Later…why, what happened? Mark…why, what went wrong?"

"The surgery is going well, and he is going to be just fine. Meredith, it seems longer because Dr. Matthews's earlier surgery had complications, and that delayed Derek's."

"They started late," she said, the previous calm he'd witnessed for hours completely replaced by anger as she started to sit up, only to be pushed back down by Bailey, "and they didn't think I had a right to know, and his family, they couldn't send someone to tell us…instead of making us agonize over what's wrong?"

"Meredith," Mark soothed, "it hasn't been that long, maybe thirty minutes longer than we may have expected."

"Thirty minutes," she said, "not that long," she continued, with a half broken sob, "how can you say…not that long…when…just one minute…one minute of him not responding has felt like a lifetime…and now, not knowing… if he's going to be ok," she said, and the deceptive calmness took over again as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Meredith," Miranda spoke again, the doctor's previous concern taking over, and with the blood pressure cuff in her hand began to place it around Meredith's arm, "now that we know everything is going well with Derek's surgery, I'm going to insist we run some additional tests."

"Nothing's wrong," Meredith said, becoming agitated, "well, of course everything's wrong," she took deep broken breaths, "but…not with me… I'm fine."

"Oh, yes," Miranda said, "we know all about your definition of fine, and I'm sure you are," she stopped talking, noted her blood pressure and turned to Mark when their audience fully registered. "Dr. Sloan, would you mind closing the door."

Carolyn Shepherd stepped forward before the door could be closed, "Dr. Bailey, I am concerned about Meredith, and if my daughter in law doesn't mind, I'd like to spend a few minutes with her."

"Mrs. Shepherd, I'm sorry. We're not finished, but when we are…"

"Dr. Bailey, I'm fine."

"Yes, we know all about that. But, you are a doctor, and right now you should also understand that I'm very concerned that you seem to be experiencing some loss of memory, and you know that is not something we should take lightly."

"Loss of memory?" Meredith said. "Why would you think that?"

"Meredith, you just told me Derek is not your husband, but you were married several weeks ago."

Deathly silence filled the room, "we're not…we're not married…"

"You were," Miranda stood next to her, placed her hand gently on her arm, "you were married the day…" she paused, "the day of George's accident."

"We didn't have time," Meredith insisted, "we never made it to City Hall," she said and all three adults in the room were rendered speechless.

"Meredith," Mark spoke up finally, finding it impossible to believe what she was saying, Derek had told everyone they were married. "Has anything happened…recently, have you experienced this before…passing out?"

"No," she almost yelled. "No…there's nothing wrong with me. I'm not suffering from memory loss. Mrs. Shepherd, I'm sorry, he told you we were married, and for us it was enough…for that moment, and then George…and Izzie…and he said there'd be plenty of time…but…there wasn't… and now…"

"Meredith," Miranda spoke firmly, "we are going to run those tests, and find out why you passed out and then we will discuss the rest of this."

"Dr. Bailey," Meredith met her gaze, "I'm sorry. We shouldn't have said we were married, and after Izzie and Alex got married, we knew we would…just that we'd do it our way…but now…"

"Now," Miranda insisted, "you are a patient in this hospital, and you will allow me to do my job."

"Dr. Bailey," Carolyn interrupted, and locked gazes with Meredith. "I think Meredith already knows what's caused her to faint."

"Mrs. Shepherd," Miranda said, "I really must ask you to let me treat my patient."

"Meredith," Carolyn met her gaze, "would you like me to leave?"

"No," she said softly. "No," she repeated, "I'd like to explain."

"Dr. Bailey," Meredith spoke, "I can sit up, I can," she said, and Mark came forward and slowly raised her to a sitting position.

"You have an explanation for passing out?"

"I do, Dr. Bailey," she said, knowingly admitting to the partial truth.

"Well, start talking," Miranda told her.

"I've hardly had anything to eat," Meredith said, "since Derek was brought in, the idea of eating…I just couldn't, and probably what I felt, when I got up…it was just a result of that…and low sugar levels."

"I'm supposed to accept that you have neglected to eat and as a result…"

"Yes, because I believe that is what happened."

"Grey," Dr. Bailey's stern demeanor was in full force, "we are running tests and doing a full workup, unless you have a better explanation than that. I also suggest if you want to see your husband, or whatever mockery title you two have managed to come up with, when he comes out of surgery, you better start explaining yourself now."

"Dr. Bailey, Mark," Carolyn spoke, "if my son thinks of her as his wife, that's enough for me."

"With all due respect Mrs. Shepherd," Miranda Bailey said, "that is not enough for hospital policy should there be additional consents required, if Derek is not able to make decisions himself."

"That should not be a problem," Carolyn challenged, "if it comes to that, I'm here, as are his sisters, and rest assured we will treat Meredith as his wife."

Meredith sat quietly absorbing the conversations taking place about her, almost as though she was not even present in the room. But she was, and would never forget the unconditional support she was given in particular by Derek's mother, long after the hellish nightmare they were being forced to endure.

"Grey," Mark said, a little too abrupt, quite annoyed with both Derek and her, "Bailey's right, you owe us an explanation."

"Mark," she said defiantly, "I don't …Derek and I don't owe anybody any explanations regarding our life… but I will give you one, because his mother deserves one."

"I disagree," he said, "especially when you are the one that signed off medical consent forms," he emphasized, "as his wife."

"He would have received treatment," Meredith told him, "regardless. He was unconscious when he came in, and you know that. So do not make an issue out of something that is not."

"Meredith," Carolyn said softly, as she and came to stand next to her, and encouraged her to speak, "please tell us what happened."

Meredith met her gaze, grateful for her discretion, as undoubtedly his mother had accurately guessed what she would no longer be able to keep to herself.

"Dr. Bailey, Mark," she said, and both accepted the repentant apology, "I know you don't understand, and I'm sorry…but, it's what was right for us, and we never imagined anything like this would happen."

"Just tell us," he said, but before she began speaking, there was a light knock on the door and Cristina stood there determined not to move until she got some answers.

"Yang, I thought I made myself perfectly clear."

"Dr. Bailey, the chief sent me."

"Cristina," Meredith said, "what…what's wrong."

"He wanted you to know they will be done in about five minutes, and Derek will be in recovery, and that you will be allowed to be see him in about thirty minutes."

"We'll see about that," Miranda said under her breath.

"Dr. Bailey," Meredith challenged, "I will be there."

"Yang," she ignored her, "you want to be useful…"

"I want to know what's wrong with Meredith," Cristina retorted.

"She seems to be fine," Bailey replied, simultaneously dismissing her, "but find a carton of orange juice and bring it."

"Yes ma'am," Cristina replied.

"Cristina, wait," Meredith said, "did the chief say anything else…he's s going to be ok…right…?"

"He said everything had gone well."

"Oh thank God," she sighed, relief evident as her eyes filled with years, and felt his mother's arms around her waist.

"Meredith," Carolyn spoke to her softly, reaching for her hand, "why don't you quickly tell us what happened, so we can be out of here and you can see Derek as soon as you are allowed."

Meredith squeezed back gently, "we didn't mean to lie to you…any of you…it just happened," she began to tell the story of how she'd told Derek she didn't want to spend another day not being married to him, and how the next day all hell had broken lose, and they decided they'd wait until the time was right. Because he'd said, there'd be plenty of time. Meredith further explained how Izzie's near death and George's accident had brought havoc to their lives, and sixty days after the marriage license had been issued, it had expired and they'd have to apply for one again. Recently, they had discussed taking care of it, going to City Hall and getting married quietly as they had intended to do weeks before.

"That's all well and good," Carolyn said, accepting her explanation, "but, you and my son still have a lot of explaining to do about the reasons we were not included in those original wedding plans," she reprimanded gently, "even if you ended up giving it away, which by the way everyone around this hospital talks about it, but we will discuss that when I can box his ears."

"Can we go now?" Meredith asked. "I want to see Derek…"

"You will see him," Miranda said, still trying to grasp all she had said. "But, before you leave here, you will at least have that orange juice I sent for, and you need to eat."

"Dr. Bailey."

"No arguments Grey, or I'll be forced to run all those tests first."

"Dr. Bailey," Carolyn said, "do you think it's possible for me to spend some time alone with my daughter in law now?"

"Yes, ma'am," Miranda agreed. "I'll be outside if you need anything."

"I think we will be fine, and Mark, will you please go tell his sisters what's going on."

"Yes," he agreed and somewhat reluctantly, they both left the room.

"How are you feeling," Carolyn asked her, a soft smile on her lips.

"I'm fine…" Meredith replied.

"Yes, I'm sure you will be," Carolyn said, "but, are you, really?"

Meredith took a deep breath, "I have to be…he'll want me there…and…he has to be ok…do you believe he'll be ok," she said as tears again began to pool in the grey green eyes he adored.

"I believe he will be," Carolyn stated simply.

"I need him," Meredith said, without breaking the penetrating and intense gaze of his mother's eyes on hers. "I need him so much."

"He needs you too… and it's not just him anymore," she said softly, "is it Meredith?"

"What…" she asked, "what…do you mean?"

"I'm going to be a grandmother again," Carolyn smiled.

"No…" Meredith denied, avoiding her gaze, Derek had to be the first one to know, "why…would you think that?"

"Meredith," she said indulgently, " I'm a nurse…who's had five children, four of them are daughters, doctors that have given me fourteen grandchildren, and now it appears that will be fifteen," she said, as she placed her hand over Meredith's, "I'm going to be a grandmother again."

"Oh God," Meredith took a deep broken breath.

"Sweetheart," Carolyn spoke gently. "If you let me, I can be there for you, we can be there for each other …we can do this together while we wait for Derek to wake up."

"He doesn't know," Meredith said, her head bowed, "he doesn't even know…and it's his second surgery in 24 hours and what if he doesn't wake up," tears fell freely, and just as quickly were wiped away by his mother.

"He'll know," Carolyn soothed, "soon he'll wake up and you'll tell him."

"What," Meredith said, taking a deep broken sob, "what if he …what if he doesn't," and the inevitable break down took place, "and never knows…never finds out we're going to have a baby," and she was promptly embraced by his mother, and was held close as her body trembled with heart wrenching sobs, and her tears mingled with Carolyn's as his mother whispered words filled with hope and guided by faith. In those moments, Meredith felt the comfort of a mother's unconditional love; understood a mother's heartache for her child, no matter how old, and it was all directed toward the man she loved, the only man she had ever loved, the father of a child he knew nothing about. For the first time in her life, Meredith Grey was comforted by a mother's loving touch and gentle embrace.


	3. Chapter 3

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Ch 3**

Carolyn Shepherd continued to embrace Meredith, and soothed her with tender reassuring words filled with hope, until her heartbreaking sobs subsided.

"Mrs. Shepherd," Meredith finally whispered, as she pulled back to look at her.

"Sweetheart," Carolyn said, "do you think we could be less formal," she smiled, "you're going to make me a grandmother again, please call me Carolyn."

"You've been very kind to me…"

"You're my son's wife…and finally…"

"I'm not," Meredith said softly, lowering her head and breaking the gaze. "I'm not his wife."

"I know my son Meredith, and in his heart I'm certain that you are."

"We …we wanted to be married, but time…" Meredith lamented.

"Derek was right," Carolyn told her, "you have plenty of time."

"What…what if…"

"Meredith," Carolyn said in a determined but loving motherly tone, and gently raised her chin so their gazes met again, "my son is going to be just fine," and then her voice broke, and tears shone in both their eyes, "and he's going to be a wonderful father."

"I was going to tell him," Meredith said as her bottom lip trembled, "tonight…he had this romantic evening planned…and a surprise he said…and I was going to tell him," she said, and smiled through her tears, "I told him I had a surprise for him too."

"You'll just have to tell him," Carolyn said, "tell each other later."

"Carolyn…do you," Meredith paused, as tears fell, "do you really believe he's going to be ok?"

"With all my heart," Carolyn replied, and wiped the tears away from Meredith's face.

"We're having a baby," Meredith said softly, "he would have been so happy…"

"He is going to be thrilled," Carolyn told her, "don't you believe anything else."

"I love him," Meredith whispered, "I love him, and I need him so much."

"I know you do, and now," Carolyn said, taking charge, "you are going to wash your face, and we are going to be there when Derek is settled in recovery, and once you see him, and are satisfied that he is fine, we need to make sure you and the baby are ok."

"I'm…we're ok…"

"Have you been to the doctor yet?"

"No…not yet, I just…just realized I was pregnant a couple days ago."

"Well then, we are going to make sure you are. Do you already have a doctor in mind?" Carolyn was now fully in charge, she had not been a navy nurse and raised five determined children alone in vain.

"I haven't even had a chance to think about…" Meredith admitted.

"We'll talk to Dr. Bailey," Carolyn said, "even if that woman is not very friendly, she does seem like a good doctor, and she cares about you, both of you."

"She does," Meredith said quietly. "But, Mrs. Shepherd…"

"Meredith, we agreed," Carolyn Shepherd reprimanded softly.

"Carolyn," Meredith amended, "I don't want anyone to know…please, I need to tell Derek first."

"That's fine, it's our secret…for now," Carolyn said, and kissed her cheek. "Wash your face and wipe your tears away so we can go, as soon as your friend brings that orange juice, and then when we see Derek we are going to get you something to eat."

Meredith did as she was told, and began to understand the source of strength she'd witnessed in all his sisters in the hours since they'd arrived, their role model was standing in front of her, unconditionally offering a mother's love and support.

There was a soft knock on the door before Miranda Bailey walked in with a carton of orange juice. "Drink this," she told Meredith.

"Dr. Bailey," Meredith began to say.

"No arguments Grey," Miranda said gruffly.

"She's not going to argue," Carolyn responded, and Meredith smiled gently.

"What are you smiling at?" Miranda asked.

"Two mother hens," Meredith said as she drank the orange juice, and then, emotion evident in her voice, she continued quietly, "thank you, both."

"Impertinent chit," Miranda said, "do not even consider I'm letting you off without more tests…as soon as you see Shepherd…"

"She's not going to protest," Carolyn responded. "We'll take care of what's going on with her as soon as we can see for ourselves that Derek's fine."

"I am still here," Meredith said, a bit of her energy slowly returning, "and can hear you…and can speak for myself."

"Of course you are dear," Carolyn said, "and I'm only repeating what we agreed to," she added, unwavering in her resolve that her new daughter in law, because that is what she was, would be seen by a doctor before the day was out.

Miranda walked out of the room first, and glared at the group gathered outside the examining room, and before walking past them said, "do you think you're helping, standing gawking at a closed door?"

Seconds later, Meredith and Carolyn walked out, and were bombarded with comments.

"Mom," Nancy said, "Derek has really lost his mind this time, it was bad enough when he moved out of the blue and divorced Addie, but…this, a fake wedding…"

"Nancy," her mother spoke sharply. "This is not the time."

"Mom, how can you just…"

"I said, not now," Carolyn said emphatically. "And you," she reprimanded. "Mark Sloan, that is what you told them? What possessed you to do that, and get this bunch all bent out of shape unnecessarily…"

"Unnecessarily," Kathleen said, "Mom, I don't think finding out they are not married…"

"Girls, I'm surprised at you," Carolyn said, and linked her arm through Meredith's. "I thought, surely all you would be concerned about is your brother's health," and walked away, leaving her four daughters to exchange confused glances; while Cristina, Mark and Lexie stood shocked at Meredith's docile demeanor as she allowed Carolyn Shepherd to guide her away, and all seven gawkers followed.

In the years ahead, neither would agree as to whom held the other one up as they first glanced at Derek. Carolyn was certain it was Meredith that supported her as she gasped softly, while Meredith knew, without a doubt, if the older woman had not placed her arm around her waist and held her, she'd have crumpled. What neither would ever disagree about was that from that moment, a bond was created that would never be broken.

"Oh God," Meredith whimpered, "he's…"

"He's alive," Carolyn said and pushed her forward.

"I can't," Meredith said, her step faltering slightly, "he's …he looks…"

"You can," Carolyn told her, "and we will do this together," and led Meredith to his side.

Both women had treated their share of patients in their respective medical careers, but facing the potential loss of a loved one was never easy, regardless of how many times you'd seen death, like a merciless thief, steal a previously healthy body into its dark abyss.

Derek lay pale, eyes closed, body exposed and attached to machines that provided constant monitoring, while anxiety creating beeps kept track of his vital signs.

Meredith reached for his hand, and lifting it carefully held it in hers, without saying a word, as tears she refused to allow to fall stung her eyes. The glass partition offered little privacy as his sisters watched from a distance, they had moved him right into a critical care cubicle and bypassed the recovery area. The doctor in her scanned the monitors right away hoping his vitals were stronger, but, if Derek had been a regular patient, she'd be somewhat encouraged, though not necessarily optimistic about his current prognosis.

Softly she caressed his hand, careful not to disturb the IV needle, and leaned in to kiss his forehead as she whispered, "I love you," and then her voice broke, "Derek…" unshed tears and the lump in her throat rendering her momentarily silent. "I'm…I'm not sure if you can hear me," she said regaining some composure, "but if you can, please squeeze my hand," she prayed, though she'd long ago forgotten, literally prayed that he would, and felt his mother's touch, her hand gently on her back.

"Sweetheart, I'm sure he can hear you," Carolyn said, "keep talking to him."

"Derek," Meredith said, "you gave me quite a scare," she spoke as though he could hear her, and if he could didn't want him to worry that his Mom was there, he would jump to conclusions, rightly so, about the seriousness of his condition. "And, I asked Mark to call your Mom…and she's here…when you wake up, she'll be here, and your sisters," she said, and neither noticed the slight effect her words had on him, as reflected on the monitors, "and I expect you to wake up soon Derek…and ….you promised me…Derek," she began to lose her composure completely, "you promised me…Derek…that we'd take care of each other when we're old…" and his mother put her arms around her and held her as she cried silently, unwilling to risk him being aware of the tempest within her, the absolute and horrifying fear and feeling that she had already lost him.

Carolyn's mere presence comforted her, "Meredith, dear I want you to sit down for a bit, you have not had any rest in over twenty four hours," she attempted to lead her away from his bedside.

"I have to be here…I want to be next to him…"

"You will be," Carolyn told her, "right there on that chair, will you do that for me?"

"I need to be next to him…if he wakes up…"

"You will be, just a few steps away from him," she said and led her to the chair, and worried that she offered no resistance. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," Meredith said, "I'm fine."

If Derek had heard her, he'd be giving his mother all sorts of warning signals. Nothing was worse than Meredith Grey's assuring that she was fine.

Derek's mother approached the bed and began to talk to her son, chattering away about their family and how happy she was that he and Meredith were married, and yes she knew about the post it note, they'd just have to make it official whenever the time was right, and anything that she thought would make her son think of all he had to live for, all the blessings in his life.

"Mom," his younger sister said hours after they'd watched their mother and Meredith take turns at Derek's bedside. "You need to get some rest and eat something."

"I'm not leaving here until your brother is awake."

"Mom," his sister argued.

"I'm not …"

"Nobody is asking you to leave, only that you get something to eat…and a little rest."

"I'm staying with Meredith."

"She needs some rest too Mom, she looks exhausted and she has not left here since Derek was brought in, and if you don't go, I doubt she will agree either," she said, playing the mother card, having already realized their mother had accepted Meredith into their family, and in spite of the legality of their marriage, she was Derek's wife in all ways that mattered.

"I will go get some rest," his mother agreed, "after Meredith does. You can keep me company dear."

Meredith, who'd been listening to the exchange, interrupted them. "Carolyn, I'm fine, I can get some rest here…"

"Meredith," Carolyn said only one word that spoke volumes and the two women exchanged glances that acknowledged they understood each other clearly.

"Carolyn, you go get some rest, a shower and change would make you feel better and get something to eat, and when you get back… I'll do the same, and I'll go talk to Dr. Bailey."

"You will," Carolyn asked.

"Yes," Meredith told her. "I will."

"All right then, I'll be back in a couple of hours," she said and kissed Meredith's cheek before she turned to talk to Derek.

Meredith turned to his younger sister, "she should get some sleep, keep her away till morning…"

"There's no way she'll allow it," the young woman said, "we'll be back soon, and you are going to have to do as she says too," she smiled, and gave Meredith a hug. "I can see you're exhausted Meredith, you won't be any good to Derek if you don't keep up your strength," and again none of the three women, all well versed in the medical field, noticed the small fluttering of his eyelids.

"Meredith," Carolyn said before she left, "I do not want you standing next to this bed till I get back, sit down and get some rest, and just relax dear, he'll be awake and chattering away as usual, just as soon as the effects of the anesthesia wear off."

"I won't," Meredith said, knowing she'd likely have to comply, if for no other than reason than the physical and emotional exhaustion that was beginning to overwhelm her.

His sister would be proven correct and Carolyn Shepherd would not stay away longer than a couple of hours, but in her absence, a scene would unfold that would have far reaching and emotionally heartbreaking reverberations.

The two older sisters remained behind, while the younger two accompanied their mother, and thus Nancy entered the critical care cubicle.

"Meredith, we can stay with Derek now, and you can go get some rest."

"I'm not going to leave his side, he'll want me here when he wakes up."

"We have as much right to be here as you do," Nancy retorted, "and have flown clear across the country so we could be."

"I am well aware of that," Meredith said, turning her gaze away from Derek and facing Nancy, "as well as the fact that you don't like me. I'm not keeping you from being here. But, it is my right to be here."

"Your right," Nancy said sarcastically, "we'd have to question, given you are not even his wife…"

"Nancy," Kathleen reprimanded, as she glanced at the monitors, all seemed stable, no alterations. Fortunately she thought, and quickly assessed the situation, it did look as though Derek was in a deep anesthesia induced sleep and was being spared the inevitable confrontation, "this is not the place for this."

"Why not?" Nancy shot back. "She is not his wife, they've had a farce of a marriage, and we have more legal rights to be here than she does at this point."

Meredith turned to her, anger consuming her, "I AM his wife, in all ways that matter, and most especially, because he considers me his wife."

"Really," Nancy said condescendingly, "it seems to me he obviously had some doubts, or you would be legally married and we would not be having this conversation."

"Nancy," Kathleen admonished, "that is enough, or I swear I will make sure you do not come near this room again."

"What do you think gives you the right," Nancy said, "Kathleen, you are not…"

"Nancy, don't do this, we are all under stress over Derek's condition…don't make it worse, Nance…come on," she said, placing her arm on her sister's shoulder.

Mark and Lexie walked in the room in reaction to the commotion, "what is going on here," he said, "Nancy, Kathleen is right, we're all under stress and this is not the time to get into this discussion. Fuck, but I wish I'd kept my mouth shut, and only told you he was going to be in recovery soon," he said, and felt Lexie's reassuring hand on his arm.

"Nancy," Lexie said, "I don't know you, but I know Derek, and regardless of any legal documents, Meredith is who he'd want here when he wakes up."

Meredith had begun her inner retreat immediately upon hearing Nancy's verbal jar. Combined with the nausea that rose quickly, hormones raging wildly and insecurities too deeply imbedded to ignore, it all gave way to doubts she'd thought long buried, and her world began to unravel. The happiness and hopes for their future together were crushed and gave way to an unstoppable downward spiral, where the months of progress in the relationship between Meredith and Derek would prove futile in the days ahead.

"Do you honestly think," Nancy continued, "that sleeping with Mark, being the newest flavor of the month gives you any…"

"Nancy," Mark warned her, "stop being a bitch. All of you, this ends now. Everybody, except Meredith needs to leave."

"Mark," Meredith spoke after what seemed like hours to her, "it's fine."

"No it's not," Mark told her, "I will stay with you until Mrs. Shepherd gets back."

"No," Meredith told him, "I will leave, his sisters should stay."

"Mer," Lexie said, as she reached her sister's side, "you are the one that Derek will want here."

"Nancy," Meredith said as the pain filled and agonizing reality of what his sister had said engulfed every cell of her being, "you are right. Derek obviously had doubts."

"Meredith," Mark contradicted her, "that is not true."

"He'd want his sisters here," Meredith said, trying to ignore the persistent cramping, and her gaze became empty and distant. "I'll go," she said, and her sister did not miss the slight flinching and expression of pain on her sister's face.

"Meredith," she said softly, "you don't have to leave…"

"Lexie," she said, her voice barely above a whisper, "I'm not feeling well," and her sister put her arm around her waist and walked with her, "I need to lie down."

"We'll find an on call room," Lexie said.

"No," Meredith said, and stopped to take a deep breath. "An examining room," she said, "and get Dr. Bailey," she said as they continued to walk and as soon as they walked in, away from any curious stares, she allowed the tears to fall.

"Meredith," Lexie said softly, concern for her sister keeping her from walking away, "what's wrong? Why do you need Dr. Bailey?"

"She was going to run some tests," Meredith told her, "maybe she should," she said, and not wanting to reveal her secret, "find out why I passed out earlier."

"But you said you were ok. Mark told me, you had not eaten, that's why…"

"Might as well make sure," Meredith said, "I'll be ok…but please, get her," she said, and Lexie saw the fear in her sister's eyes, and hugged her.

"Mer," she said, as her own tears fell, "he's going to be ok, and so are you…and you should not let any of what that hateful woman said to you."

"It's true Lexie," Meredith said, a somewhat defeated and accepting demeanor, "he had time…but he was ok with a post it note…if he'd wanted to marry me…there was plenty of time after that day…weeks worth of time…"

"Meredith," Lexie insisted, "Derek loves you…he said you were married, he was so happy to tell us all that…"

"But we weren't…" Meredith said quietly. "We weren't…"

"I'm sure…" Lexie said, "that doesn't matter to him, Meredith, he talks about you…"

"Lex," she interrupted her, as the cramping made its presence felt again, "please, get Dr. Bailey," and her sister complied and paged her.

"Grey…both Grey's…" Miranda Bailey said when she walked in the room, "you two are bound and determined to give me grey hair today," she said, "that pun was purely unintentional."

"Dr. Bailey," Meredith's eyes met hers, and the older woman knew immediately something was wrong.

"Dr. Grey," Miranda said looking at Lexie, "would you let me have some time alone with Meredith, she's now a patient."

"But…I'm her sister…"

"That's right, and family should not treat family members…"

"But, Meredith, what's wrong…what aren't you telling me…"

"Lexie," Meredith reached for her sister's hand, "I'm sure I'm fine, but Dr. Bailey will want to get all the history, even if she already knows it, and do an EKG and who knows what else…just wait for me," she said attempting to reassure her sister, when she herself was falling apart at the mere possibility that something was wrong.

Less than two hours later Meredith was at home. Sadly, only dark, irrational, heartbreaking thoughts consumed her. Miranda Bailey had given Meredith two options, to be admitted or go home and get several hours sleep. Reluctantly, and only because of her current state of mind she consented that Lexie would drive her home. However, she made Lexie promise she would take her back to the hospital immediately after she showered and spent two hours resting. Even if she had no intention of seeing Derek, she needed to be close to him. Just in case, she had hoped, he wanted to see her, although, if Nancy was right, maybe he'd prefer to have his sisters and mother at his bedside. He'd had plenty of time. He'd chosen not to marry her. She'd told him she had wanted to be married that day at city hall, and he'd settled for a post it wedding note. Nancy was right. He had changed his mind about marrying her, about a lifetime together, about a family together. Those were her thoughts as she lay in bed, and filled with overwhelming sadness she brought her hand to rest softly on her abdomen.

"How is he?" Carolyn Shepherd asked as she looked around the small room, and only found Kathleen and Nancy, "where is Meredith?"

"She went home," Nancy said.

"She went home," Carolyn repeated, "that's odd…she would not have left here, not unless something was wrong…did something happen?"

Derek's eyelids fluttered, hearing the distant voices, he was trying desperately to open his eyes, but they felt like they were glued together, that they weighed a ton and he had no strength in his body, what had happened, somewhere in the back of his mind he began to question. What was wrong?

"She was tired, and decided to get some rest," Nancy said, just as Miranda Bailey and Mark walked in the room.

"That is not quite the case," Mark said with barely controlled anger.

Miranda Bailey, motioned him to stop. "Mrs. Shepherd, I'm sorry, but I've talked it over with Dr. Sloan, and I'm going to ask that when Meredith is here with Dr. Shepherd, she be left alone, no other visitors will be allowed, ma'am you will be the exception, she does not need anything else upsetting her."

"Upset her," Carolyn questioned, a confused expression on her face, "what upset her?"

Derek's younger sisters had been standing in the background, and shot an accusing look over to Nancy, "what have you done," his younger sister said.

"What is going on?" Carolyn said, "Mark, Dr. Bailey, why isn't Meredith here?"

"I sent her home," Miranda said calmly.

"You sent her home," Carolyn questioned, careful not to reveal more then was necessary, "did she speak with you? There's no way she'd go home unless there was something wrong."

"That girl is exhausted," Miranda replied, "and she needed rest, I insisted she go home before I would risk her passing out again," she said, and in a room full of doctors, none noticed the rapid sudden changes to Derek's heart rhythm and pulse.

"What does that have to do with limiting visitors while she is here?" Carolyn asked.

"You will need to speak to your daughters about that," Miranda replied. "But right now, Mrs. Shepherd, with all due respect to your daughters, I'm going to insist that whatever personal opinions they have about Meredith or the relationship between her and your son, that they keep it to themselves."

All the occupants in the crowded room were preoccupied with the conversation, failing to see the fluttering of Derek's eye lids, his unsuccessful effort to open his eyes, desperately wanting to understand what was wrong, he'd only heard that Meredith had passed out, and his body was refusing to cooperate making it impossible to call out to them. And he cursed the silent agony, as silent screams longing to be heard kept him in the dark about what was wrong with the woman he loved.

"Dr. Bailey," Carolyn insisted, "Mark, something obviously happened that has made you adamant about a situation I know nothing about, and I would appreciate it if you would enlighten me."

Mark answered, "Nancy told Meredith it was obvious Derek had doubts about their relationship, as otherwise he would be legally married to her. Regrettably, Meredith believed her."

"You did what?" Carolyn reacted immediately. "Nancy, how could you? That girl had not left his side except during surgery, and it is so obvious she loves him, and I know he loves her. I'm ashamed, very ashamed of your behavior," she finished, just as the erratic beeping of the monitors attached to Derek alerted everyone that something could be terribly wrong.

_A/N 5 July – My intention has never been to concentrate on the medical aspect of this story, but did want to get some of the details correct, and it was only last night I had dinner with my cousin who's a surgeon, and before we went home, I said…ok, I need 2 minutes of your medical expertise… this is what I have in mind, and this is what I'm thinking, does it work?. Fortunately…I was not too far off, and it took five minutes instead of two, but he gave me the plausible insight from the medical perspective. You'll learn about Derek's injuries in the next update. _

_This story, however, the heartbreaking reverberations were about the impact of their "post it wedding" and how it would affect the progress they'd made, all by a few words uttered at the very worst possible time and resulting in a bit of dark and twisty regression, a setback to Meredith's attempt at being whole and healed. There should be two maybe 3 more chapters to this story._

_Realistically, "big reverberations," as Shonda Rhimes stated, could mean many things in her world. But I don't even want to go there, and do dread what Rhimes may have in store for this couple, especially as it seems Patrick Dempsey has voiced in the last days that he does not expect a wedding in season 6, as the "head" writer does not believe there is a need of one. Personally, as a primarily Meredith & Derek fan, I am not too enthusiastic about season six. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 4**

_Less than two hours later Meredith was at home. Sadly, only dark, irrational, heartbreaking thoughts consumed her. Miranda Bailey had given Meredith two options, to be admitted or go home and get several hours sleep. Reluctantly, and only because of her current state of mind she consented that Lexie would drive her home. However, she made Lexie promise she would take her back to the hospital immediately after she showered and spent two hours resting. Even if she had no intention of seeing Derek, she needed to be close to him. Just in case, she had hoped, he wanted to see her, although, if Nancy was right, maybe he'd prefer to have his sisters and mother at his bedside. He'd had plenty of time. He'd chosen not to marry her. She'd told him she had wanted to be married that day at city hall, and he'd settled for a post it wedding note. Nancy was right. He had changed his mind about marrying her, about a lifetime together, about a family together. Those were her thoughts as she lay in bed, and filled with overwhelming sadness she brought her hand to rest softly on her abdomen._

Unaware of the medical situation unfolding in Derek's room, Meredith plunged deeper and deeper into a world filled with doubts as ever so gently her fingers lightly caressed the still invisible spot where, for the moment, she nurtured their child.

"Hey baby," her voice was quiet as the softest whispers, almost inaudible to her own ears. "This is your mommy…I just found out about you, and I love you so much already…I want you to know that…because right now…I'm scared, so scared that I'm not going to get to meet you…and hold you," her thoughts, undoubtedly a result of the inevitable hormonal effects coupled with Derek's accident, were completely irrational. "I need you to be ok. I know you can't hear me…but I hope there's some way for you to know how much I love you," she pursed her trembling lips and took a couple of deep breaths, as a tear escaped, and then they flowed, sliding down her cheeks, " your daddy is going to love you too… when he finds out about you… and I'm sorry," she choked back a broken sob, "we may not be together anymore, but I promise you…tonight…I promise you that I will never keep him away from you, because he will be a wonderful daddy, even if he already realizes I'm not the best person for him…he will always love you…and now…I need you to be ok baby, that Dr. Bailey is right and there's nothing wrong with what I'm feeling, because you're part of him…a little bit of both of us…and though I think he's changed his mind, about me," she paused, as she wiped away the tears, "I know…deep in my heart that the day you were conceived was one of the most beautiful moments of my life…and for your daddy's too, because, then…when it happened, he still wanted to spend the rest of our lives together," she murmured as the tears, for what she perceived to be the end of their relationship, kept flowing.

"Meredith," Lexie called out to her, "is it ok if I come in?" But, there was no answer, and she decided it was more important to check on her sister than respect her privacy. The door was after all slightly open, and when she walked in Meredith turned her face as she wiped away the tears.

"Meredith," she walked quickly to the side of the bed and sat down, "what's wrong? Please tell me. Dr. Bailey said she wanted you to rest, but is something else wrong, she wouldn't tell me, but Mer, I'm a doctor, and you just don't fall flat..."

"He…" she said as her lower lip trembled, "he changed his mind Lexie," and made no attempt to wipe the tears away now, "his sister is right…there was plenty of time…and he…he changed his mind…or we would have been married."

"Meredith," Lexi said as her own eyes misted at the obvious distress her sister was experiencing, "you're wrong, Derek loves you…I've never seen two people more in love…you two belong together, and after all you've been through…Mer…he loves you…the way he looks at you…"

"Then," she said as she took a few broken breaths, "why…why was it ok for him that we weren't really married?"

"I don't have an answer for that," she said honestly, "but I do know that you're wrong, and that you shouldn't let what that …" she was unexpectedly but very momentarily at a loss for words, "that…I can only call her a bitch Mer. Because, what she said was bitchy and nasty and she doesn't know what she's talking about…and you can't let her viperine tongue make you forget all that you and Derek have worked so hard to…"

"Lexie," she said softly, and wiped away her tears, "don't you see…he's had plenty of time," she said, as her thoughts became distant, as she attempted to disassociate herself from what she saw as the reality of the situation. The hours of therapy and her progress seemingly wiped away, a few thoughtless words planting seeds of doubt, "since we met…first he chose to stay with Addison…and then…he didn't wait for me, he chose Rose…" she choked back a sob, "and now, when he had the chance to marry me…he chose a post it note…"

Lexie looked at her incredulously, and at first wanted to laugh, but thought better of it, there had to be more to this story, "Mer…a post it note, what are you talking about?"

"I told him Lexie," Meredith began, "I told him…the day…the day Izzie had her surgery…that I didn't want to spend another day not being married to him," she said, "and he agreed, but then…" she continued and told her how the post it note came to be.

"Mer," Lexie said, "that's very romantic…and he said you had plenty of time…and he said it was forever…you have to believe that's what he wanted. Meredith, it's been a hell of a time since that day…"

"It was," she agreed, but the sadness in her voice was overwhelming, "it was sweet and tender and romantic…but not as our wedding Lexie, it was all those things…as a prelude to our wedding…but he didn't want any more than that…he was happy with that…not having to make a real commitment to me…"

"Meredith Grey, you will stop that nonsense right now. You are wrong, and as soon as Derek wakes up, I'm sure he's going to tell you that."

"You don't know that," Meredith said quietly.

"Actually," Lexie said, "I do."

"Lex…"

"I do know Meredith. He loves you, and for weeks talked about you as his wife, and that is not a man that does not want to be married to you."

"But, we're not married," she said already giving up, "we ran out of time Lexie."

"You better stop all this negativity Meredith, or I'm going to call Bailey and tell her you're not being very cooperative and refusing to get any rest…and I don't know what she coerced you with to come home, but I'm sure if I tell her…"

"You will do no such thing," she argued. "I'm going back to the hospital in exactly two hours," as much as she was uncertain what Derek may want, she knew she needed to be there, "and if you don't take me…I'll take a cab…even if I don't plan on seeing Derek…I need to be there…"

"Meredith," Lexie said, "you are being totally irrational…what do you mean you're not going to see Derek? That's totally…well, I'm going to ignore you completely and go downstairs and bring you something to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Too bad," Lexie told her. "Bailey said you needed some healthy nourishment, and that's what I've got cooking & you're going to eat."

"You're cooking?" Meredith asked.

"You've tasted my cooking, not great, but better than yours," she teased her.

"That's not saying much," Meredith smiled slightly as her sister reached out to hug her.

"I'll be right back, ok?"

Meredith closed her eyes briefly. She was exhausted, physically and emotionally, yet she knew that in spite of that, sleep would not be forthcoming, and her thoughts drifted to the morning before as she kept thinking, what a difference a day made and what a horrible twist of fate had shattered their happiness in just over twenty four hours.

"_Derek," she laughed as he'd nuzzled her neck, kissing her, biting playfully, "we have to get up…I can't be late again this morning."_

"_They know we're still newlyweds," he'd teased and shifted their bodies so that his covered hers completely._

"_Technically," she nibbled his lips, "I don't think we still are," she smiled remembering how terribly romantic their post it note wedding had been, and that neither had felt the need after that moment to rush to City Hall and make it official, though she was sure they would. One day, when it was right for them, she smiled certain that by the end of the evening he'd likely think the perfect moment had arrived._

"_Uhmmm…" he'd mumbled, "you're smiling like the cat that swallowed the canary… Mer…keeping secrets from me…"_

"_I am not," she'd pouted playfully. "But I know you are, since you won't tell me where we're going tonight."_

"_It's a surprise," he acknowledged and kissed her, and both forgot or perhaps as they would recall in the future, it was one of those times, where inexplicably neither seemed to care that time was getting away from them, and embraced the fact that they needed and wanted to cherish every moment spent together._

"_I love you, Derek," she said, as she placed her lips on his and smiled._

"_Mer," he said playfully, "it's not nice to keep secrets."_

"_I'm not," her heart skipped a beat, since he was right. She was keeping a secret, but only for a few more hours._

"_Uhmmm…"_

"_Derek…we have to go…" she said with such little willpower, he chuckled._

"_A quickie," he said, as he continued to leave a trail of kisses from her neck to the swell of her breasts, "always makes you feel better," and delighted in her laughter, as they each clearly intended to fully engage in seducing the other._

"_But, I'm not feeling bad…" she teased him, "in fact…I'm feeling really … really…"_

"_Good…" he completed the sentence for her, as his mouth found her nipple, and she moaned softly._

"_Derek…"_

"_Uhmmm…"_

"_Maybe," she said, "we do have a little time…for some of our favorite things," and their laughter echoed through the room, but then, the rays of sunlight that had lightly danced upon their bodies as the new day began had suddenly disappeared and been replaced by clouds fostering an unexpected storm, her body inexplicably shivering at that moment._

Meredith's reminiscing was interrupted when Lexie came back in the room carrying a tray with two bowls of soup, half a sandwich and water for each. "Mer, not sure if you want company, but if you do, I can eat up here with you, since Bailey was pretty adamant you should stay in bed."

"Lexie," she said as she looked down at the food, "I'm really not hungry."

"You're still going to eat," Lexie ignored her handing her the bowl of soup.

"You do realize," Meredith said, "I'm the older sister here."

"Age," Lexie told her, "apparently has nothing to do with maturity," she smiled, "just look at Mark."

"You are right there," Meredith smiled faintly at her comment.

"Even Mrs. Shepherd thinks so," Lexie said, hoping to bring some normalcy to a situation where none existed. "Well….you know what she said…"

"The emotional maturity of a horny fifteen year old," Meredith said, "at least according to what he told Derek," and Lexie saw the sadness veil her gaze.

"That's exactly what she said," Lexie agreed, attempting to keep the conversation light at least while they ate.

"You and Mark," Meredith said, "I mean, I'm not prying or being nosy…but..."

"Mer," Lexie interrupted her. "You're my sister. You can ask or say anything you want."

"You really believe that, don't you?"

"I do…because…you can Meredith I don't mind," she smiled. "Even when you tried to get Derek to keep him away from me, it meant a lot to me that you cared."

"I do care Lexie, and I'm glad you two seem to be working things out…after everything that's happened."

"Yeah…we are, you know…Izzie being sick first, but then George's funeral made us both realize how fragile life is," she said without thinking.

"Yes," Meredith whispered.

"Oh my God, Meredith, I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…that was so insensitive…I didn't think…"

"Lexie," Meredith said, as her eyes glimmered with tears, "I know what you meant. It's ok."

"It's not…"

"Lexie," Meredith said as she fought to keep the tears from falling. "I'm scared…I'm so scared," she admitted, surprising them both as the younger reached out to hug the older sister. On this night, and unexpected familial bond discovered months before, would be further strengthened, and ties that bind, nurturing and loving that both desperately needed, would be forged and be relied upon throughout their lives.

"He's going to be fine," Lexie soothed her with comforting words, "Meredith…you have to believe, he will be fine," she said as her phone vibrated from its place where she'd left it on Meredith's nightstand.

"Speak of the devil," Lexie smiled, as she answered, and Meredith took the moment to get up and go to the bathroom, one of the symptoms pregnancy was making sure she was aware of. However, Lexie's smile quickly disappeared as she listened to Mark.

"Lexie," Meredith called out as she walked back to bed and did not see her sister, but noticed that the tray had been removed, and laid down, closing her eyes very briefly.

"Meredith," Lexie said a few minutes later as she stood at the door, unable to meet her sister's gaze.

"What's wrong," Meredith asked immediately as she got out of bed, she had learned as their relationship had grown that Lexie could not hide her emotions. "Lexie…what's wrong with Derek?"

"Meredith," Lexie said quietly, "Mark thinks you should be at the hospital…that you should get there as soon as possible."

"Oh God," she cried out, "no…Lexie…no…he can't…tell me he's …he's not…"

"He's ok now," Lexie said, "but …"

"He's ok now," she said agitated, "what happened Lexie, tell me right now and don't keep anything from me," but had to sit on the bed as everything began to spin. "Lexie…"

"There was a small incident," Lexie began to say.

"Incident…what kind of incident," she said as she attempted to anchor herself with both hands on the edge of the mattress, the dizziness and nausea of the last few days consuming her.

"Meredith," Lexie saw how very pale she was and rushed to her, "what's wrong…are you ok? Mer, talk to me, this is how you looked earlier…before you passed out."

"We've got to go," she said, and started to rise, but Lexie pushed her back.

"Something's wrong with you," Lexie was adamant, "lie back, we're not going anywhere right now."

"I'm fine," she argued, determined to get to the hospital, in spite of how she felt and Miranda's instructions to get some rest, get off her feet and observe if the cramping continued.

"Derek is stable," Lexie spoke quietly, "it wasn't anything major, but Mark thinks you should be there. That Derek needs you there, that it's the only thing that's going to calm him down."

"Calm him down," Meredith repeated. "He's awake," she said, and her words caught in her throat, "he's awake and I wasn't there…"

"He's sleeping now Meredith, Mark didn't get into all the details…"

"You're lying to me," Meredith admonished, "and I understand you're trying to protect me, but please don't…I need to know Lexie…I'm losing him…" her eyes spoke of defeat, "I can feel it and I can't just get there to find out he's already gone."

"Meredith," Lexie reached for her hand, "he's ok. I promise you I would not lie to you. But, he was very agitated and they sedated him."

"What happened, Lexie, what went wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong Mer, Mark assured me."

"Lexie, tell me what happened." Meredith was adamant as she rose from the bed.

"The incident," Lexie said quietly, "it was about you…"

"About me," she asked, "what about me…"

"Derek could apparently hear, and when Mark told Mrs. Shepherd what Nancy said to you …as well as the mention that you'd passed out earlier…"

"We have to go," Meredith interrupted her, "I have to see him…" then, caught herself, doubts resurfacing, "if he wants to see me…I need to be there."

They drove to the hospital in silence as Meredith went over the last hours and moments prior to his accident. After their amorous early morning indulgence, they had spent the rest of the day before in anticipation of their evening together, exchanging flirty texts, frustrated by their schedule keeping them apart during the day. Except for the moment they'd shared when they'd driven in to work together and he'd come around to open her door and leaned in to kiss her they had not seen each other. She'd been tempted to tell him right then and there that she was pregnant, but he'd been like a kid filled with excitement as he'd planned their evening together for over a week and she decided whatever it was, she'd let him carry out his plans, and then tell him.

Whatever his surprise for her was, she had been certain hers would delight him, and couldn't wait to share it with him, much as it had come as a surprise to her, and even more surprising her reaction. In the midst of her initial shock, a calmness and peace had settled within her as she became immediately protective of their baby.

Meredith looked at the phone in her hand and perused their texts from the evening before.

_-on my way be there in 15 min_

_-you left the hospital?_

_-part of the evening's plan_

_- you had to leave the hospital?_

_-getting your gift, one of them _

_-you got me gifts, crap_

_-crap????_

_-lol I don't have a gift for you_

_-Mer, you are my gift_

_-I love you Derek_

_-Adore you Meredith_

_-don't text and drive _

_-always bossy, love bossy… getting in car now - you ready?_

_-ready…for what exactly?_

_-dressed, out of scrubs _

_-been ready to get out of scrubs…be naked with you all day_

_-not nice to tease_

_-who's teasing…and I always deliver_

_-yes…you do…_

_-derek, so do you_

_-uhmmm…wait for tonight_

_-derek…think you'll like my secret too_

_-crap_

_-crap???_

_Her phone rang immediately and she smiled, "hey."_

"_Mer," he chuckled, "it's not nice to tease."_

"_Derek, I'm not teasing."_

"_It is when you're flaunting …a secret…"_

"_Technically, I don't think it's a secret…"_

"_Technically," he teased, "what is it?"_

"_A surprise…"_

"_Give me a hint…"_

"_Only if you will…"_

"_Forever," he said._

"_Forever…that's your hint?" she asked, and he could picture her smile.._

"_Big hint Mer…"_

"_Derek," she smiled, wondering just what he could have in mind that involved picking up a gift that was forever, but hers certainly would be, "mine…the surprise …kind of forever too…"_

"_You can't use my same hint," he laughed._

"_It fits," she told him._

"_Mer…I love you…I'll see you in a few minutes."_

"_I love you too…Derek…"_

"_Uhmmm…Mer, you ok?" he asked, sensing the change of emotions in her voice._

"_I'll always love you…forever…"_

"_Me too," he said as he disconnected their call._

Meredith wiped away the tears that had inevitably gathered and refused to be contained, much the same as the unrelenting rain storm, as Lexie drove the last mile to the hospital. She had memorized their last conversation, hanging on to the fact that they loved each other, she had to believe that, she did believe that, but she needed Derek's reassurance, just one look in his yes would calm her, but he wasn't able to provide that, hence the continued rollercoaster of emotional reverberations.

Lexie parked the car and much as Meredith wanted to rush to his side, the doubts engulfing her held her back as she instead embraced the foreboding sense that the last twenty four hours had altered her life forever. It did not, however, allow her to ponder the possibility those changes could signal happiness as well, and settled into the dark and twisty familiar thoughts of the past.

"Meredith," Lexie asked concerned when she noticed her stumble as she got out of the car and placed her hand on the car to steady herself. "I think you need to see Dr. Bailey."

"I'm fine Lexie," she lied as she attempted to ignore the dizziness, the umbrella barely making a difference as the dark stormy clouds lingered menacingly over the hospital.

"Right, and Derek's on the beach sunbathing…and we're joining him."

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you," Meredith said.

"Well…neither does your behavior…Meredith, you're not you…"

"I'm me Lexie," she said as they walked through the front door of Seattle Grace, and continued on the well known path to the critical care unit, and then as she approached, any rational or logical thought she may have still possessed abandoned her as she glanced through the glass and saw a priest, rosary in hand, standing by Derek's bed, his mother and sisters and Mark somber in a deathbed prayer, and her agonizing cries filled the halls.

"No…Derek," Meredith cried, "no…noooo…Derek, no, noooo," as she placed the palm of her hand against the glass and only those two words could be heard over and over again during the heartbreaking moments she accepted the end to ever feeling safe again, and that her life would be irreparably altered with his death. Her recurring nightmare, now a reality, as certain as the dark and stormy night had ended in the unspeakable.

_A/N 29JUL09 - Thanks to all still interested in reading. Sorry it's taken so long. Work has been keeping me busy and just returned from out of town conference in Chicago, that left no time to read or write! Also, I must be honest in that inspiration is hard to come by the more I hear about season six. Italics occur in the past, including the last paragraph of last chapter which I've included since it's been so long since I posted. _

_If you've read the chapter, hope it wasn't disappointing. Medically, Derek will be fine. The "big" reverberations" for them are the emotional effects of Nancy's words and the consequential regression of their progress. The last sentence may be familiar to you, borrowed from Meredith's voice over during Season Five Premiere._

_The next chapter is almost completed, as I would hate as a reader to be kept waiting. Hope you will comment be it good or bad. Thanks! _


	5. Chapter 5

_**Ch 5 – Heartbreaking Reverberations**_

"Meredith," Mark rushed to her side the second he'd heard her cries of despair, as had Carolyn, but neither could calm the hysterical sobs as his mother held her. "He's ok," he kept repeating as did Carolyn to no avail, "Meredith, he's ok."

"He's not," she finally spoke through broken sobs, "don't lie to me, the priest, last rites…he's just laying there…you said to get here…that I had to be here…"

"Meredith, sweetheart," Carolyn's gentle motherly tone finally got through to her, "Derek is fine. I would not lie to you. He's sedated, but he's going to be ok, and the priest was praying the rosary with us…not his last rites…"

"The rosary…" Meredith repeated, as Carolyn continued to soothe her.

Meanwhile, Mark whispered to Lexie, as he placed his hand on her lower back. "I'm worried about her, she's acting a bit irrational. Don't you think? Did she talk to you?"

"I told her the same thing," Lexie leaned back into him, "but she say she's fine, and you know that means she's not, but Mark I don't know what to do…she's my sister…and I don't know what to do…she's being so negative…and her eyes are filled with such sadness."

"We need to get through to her. I don't want Derek to see her like this," Mark told Lexie. "I'm going to have to muzzle Nancy."

"I hate that woman," Lexie told him.

"Right now, think we all do, even her mother raked her over the coals."

"A lot of good that does…the damage is done," Lexie said, as she glanced over to Meredith and Carolyn just a few steps away from them. "Mark, is he going to be ok?"

"He's doing well, considering two surgeries in less than twenty four hours."

"Meredith," Carolyn spoke to her in the firm motherly voice, "we would not ever consider last rites, not when we are confident he's going to be ok, and he is, and if ever we have to consider that…it would never be done without you there or without your consent."

"He…" Meredith said, in between taking several deep breaths, "I thought…I saw the priest…I thought…he," she whispered, "like George…when the priest came, that he was gone…there was no hope…"

"Oh sweetheart," Carolyn said while her daughters watched through the glass as she wiped the young woman's tears away, and hugged her. "I'm sorry…I never imagined you'd think that…we pray the rosary all the time, and we were just praying for his quick recovery," she said and smiled softly, "and I also prayed for you," then quieter as she met her gaze, "and my grandchild."

"He's ok?" Meredith asked her again.

"He's ok."

"I should go now," Meredith said shocking Carolyn.

"You'll go?" His mother asked perplexed by her reaction, "I don't understand."

"I'll leave you to finish your prayers. He wants you there…and his sisters," she said absently, but Carolyn would not allow the obvious detachment.

"You're the one he wants in there with him, he made that very clear."

"It's…" she said, as her eyes shone with tears, "it's more important that you're there, his family."

"Meredith," Carolyn scolded in a motherly tone, "you listen to me. You are his family. You are his wife, and until he tells me otherwise I won't hear any more arguments from you. Now, you are going in there, and let him know you are here, because you are who he wants, who he's worried about."

"He…he woke up…" Meredith stated, though more of a question.

"For a few minutes," Carolyn admitted, "first, let's go in so you can see for yourself that he's ok, and Mark," she said turning to him, "can let his doctor know you're here, he's been waiting to talk to you."

"He's ok…" Meredith asked again, unsure she could trust his mother's judgment, perhaps she was repeating only what she was hoping and praying for.

"He's ok sweetheart," Carolyn told her. "He will be," she hooked her arm through Meredith's and led her inside the critical care enclosure and guided her to his bedside.

"Father," Carolyn spoke, "this is Derek's wife Meredith. I insisted she go home for a few hours, and when she saw you here she assumed the worst."

"That's understandable under the circumstances," the elderly priest commented. "Mrs. Shepherd your husband has a lot of prayers being said for him, and it looks like he's turned the corner," he smiled at her.

"Thank you, Father," Meredith spoke softly, "it's very kind of you to be here."

"Your mother in law is force to be reckoned with," he smiled, "just in the few minutes I've spent with her, I'm certain her prayers will be answered."

"Girls," Carolyn spoke, "I'm sure Father Michael won't mind joining you in the chapel to finish saying the rosary," and with that statement left them no other option, though they stayed longer than Carolyn was pleased with, as they watched Meredith at Derek's bedside.

Meredith watched over him for a few moments, attempting to get a hold of her emotions, knowing she'd surely fail as she ascertained that he was indeed breathing and she had misinterpreted the scene before her. Her hand gently caressed his forehead before her lips lingered there, and then she brushed his lips with hers, overwhelmed with relief, yet desperately wanting to understand what had happened for him to be sedated.

Her doubts and fears diminished somewhat now that she saw him, in spite of his sisters' presence, especially Nancy, who both younger sisters had made sure was in the background as soon as Meredith walked in the room.

"Derek," she whispered softly, as her hands continued to lightly caress his forehead, his face, and her lips brushed his again, "I love you," she said, and his mother glanced over to her daughters as Meredith's body trembled slightly, and indicated they needed to leave, ensuring Meredith would have privacy. She, however, did not leave her alone and throughout the hours that followed, on more than one occasion simply held her as Meredith cried softly on her shoulder as she witnessed, earlier through Derek's eyes and now through Meredith's, the unquestionable love these two felt for each other.

In the next hours Meredith would repeat her words over and over, but unlike her vigil after his first surgery the night before, when she was alone with him, this time, they were simpler sentiments of I love you, and please get well. No matter how much she longed to say what she'd whispered to him then, she held back as Nancy's words continued to take hold of her heart, and she erected a protective shield around it, that would surely cause additional reverberations as the impenetrable invisible wall continued to take hold of her erratic emotions.

Carolyn insisted she sit down when the nurse came in to check on him, and shortly after Miranda Bailey and his surgeon came in to talk to them.

"Dr. Grey, Mrs. Shepherd," the doctor spoke, "Mark Sloan is joining us in a few minutes, and I briefed the Chief earlier about Derek's condition," he referred to him in the familiar first name used by colleagues.

"Grey," Miranda stood next to her and said quietly, "you are supposed to be resting. Don't force me to admit you. How are you feeling?"

"Better," she lied.

"You're lying to me. But, we'll deal with that later," she said as Mark walked in.

"Dr. Grey," the doctor spoke, "as you know, Dr. Sloan and Dr. Bailey were here earlier, when he had a small incident." Meredith nodded, not wanting to let on she had no first hand knowledge of what transpired.

"First, let me tell you that I have no reason for concern over his recovery," he assured her, and they all witnessed the visible sign of relief, as her body became almost limp, and Miranda Bailey and Carolyn Shepherd on either side of her offered support.

"But earlier," Meredith interrupted, "the bleeding continued, you had to go back in."

"Yes, we did. Now, I know this should be easy for you to understand, as you are a doctor, but Meredith," he said, "may I call you that," he smiled, wanting to lift the obvious heaviness of her emotions.

"Yes."

"When we are dealing with a patient, who happens to be a loved one, we doctors," he smiled at her softly, "though we think we know everything, seem to forget every ounce of medicine we've ever learned, and I say that because it's happened to me. It's of course a momentary lapse, but I want you to understand that right now, I'm talking to you as Derek's wife," he said, and she shivered.

"We're not married," she offered.

"I've become aware of that, but Derek thinks of you as his wife, and I don't say that only because he made that clear earlier today, but because he's talked of his wife quite often in the last several weeks, and apparently so does his mother, and for that reason I waited to talk to you, his wife, and go over anything you may want to discuss."

"Thank you," she said quietly, wanting desperately to touch Derek, to feel the warmth of his hands in hers, but she held back as she stood by his bed.

"I'll start with the last couple of hours. We all thought he was out, anesthesia induced sleep, but apparently he could hear some of what was going on, and unfortunately," he paused, "by the way, right now, I think he really is asleep. But I'm sure he can sense you are here. Back to my point," he smiled, "I've heard your rambles Grey," he chose to tease her, she had indeed been in his service often, "so you can understand if I deviate a little, but I've got an excuse, I'm just old," he attempted to add a bit of lightness, "and Irish."

"Doctor Sullivan," Miranda began to say, staring him down.

"Miranda, indulge an old man," he told her, "Meredith needs to calm down, and I've known you too long to be intimidated like everyone else," he said.

"Well, if you want to calm her down, I don't see that you're being very effective," she said as she noticed Meredith's continued nervous habit of fidgeting with her watch, "and now is not the time to practice your Irish gift of gab."

"Miranda and Sloan," he ignored Miranda's comments, "and a slew of other people trained in medicine were here earlier," he continued sarcastically, "and it seemed Derek heard that you had fainted, but none of those brilliant medical professionals bothered to monitor the vitals, until it was too late and he was in full crisis mode…"

"Full crisis mode," Meredith said, "what does that mean…cardiac arrest…did you call code blue…did he stop breathing…" becoming increasingly agitated.

"Good Lord no," he said, "his monitors went all over the place after not only hearing that you'd passed out, but that his sister had not been quiet pleasant to you."

"He heard…" Meredith repeated quietly, "what else did he hear…"

"It would seem, after he gave everyone one hell of a scare and had nurses running in here to see what was going on," Dr. Sullivan went on, "that whatever he heard made his blood pressure sky rocket, pulse spike all over kingdom come, and almost brought on a full blown panic attack. But, though he could not speak much, which is perfectly expected, he was able to communicate his only concern was for you."

"I'm fine."

"Yes, he managed to tell us he heard you say that, and that was the kiss of death…"

"Oh God," Meredith whimpered, her face becoming quite pale again.

"Dr. Sullivan," Carolyn said, "I'm going to agree with Dr. Bailey that now is no time to gab, especially after she thought we had Father Michael here to administer last rites."

"Last rites," he said, "thought that became the anointing of the sick years ago?"

Carolyn had to laugh, "Meredith, I'll explain what he's talking about later," his mother said referring to the Catholic Sacrament that indeed had its name changed.

"Mark," Meredith said, "you called Lexie, told her I needed to be here, to get here as soon as possible, she thought …and then I got here…and the priest…you purposely misled …"

"No, I did not," Mark told her, "I told Lexie to get you here as soon as possible because we did have a minor crisis and Dr. O'Gab here," he could not resist making that comment.

"How can you joke," Meredith interrupted him, exasperated, "we're talking about Derek's life…and you joke," she said and he saw the tears in her eyes.

"Meredith," he said, using her first name which he rarely did, "Derek's going to be fine. Dr. Sullivan decided to sedate him, make sure he got some rest, and when he wakes up again, he does need to see you."

"You all keep saying that he's going to be fine, but you know what he's been through…two surgeries…two major surgeries…and you are making light of the situation, but, I'm a doctor…I know how serious this is…how complications…"

"You're right," Dr. Sullivan agreed. "He has been through two very serious major operations, but, if all continues as it has the last few hours, there would be no reason for him not to fully recuperate in a very short period of time. I'm not going to deny it was touch and go when he was brought in, but after I had a chance to talk to him earlier, I'm confident his recovery will be normal."

"Dr. Sullivan," she said, thinking of all the possible complications she knew could happen, "you had to go back in, that's…what if the bleeding continues…that can happen, it's still a risk, there was massive trauma…and removing the spleen…"

"Meredith," the doctor spoke quietly, taking his time, "let's go over the details. Last night when he was brought in, there was extensive damage and internal bleeding, and if we had not rushed him to surgery as we did, it's more than likely he would not have survived. There were massive internal injuries. I explained that to you after his first surgery, primarily severe damage to the spleen and potentially to the liver and lungs."

Meredith listened carefully to every word he spoke, "fortunately, once we were able to get the bleeding under control, we knew there was no major damage to the other organs, and though there was significant damage to the spleen, during his surgery, Richard and I and the rest of the team thought it would be best to try to save the spleen."

"But…" she said, "internal bleeding continued and you had to go back in…you could have avoided a second surgery, if…"

"Yes, we did, but I still would do the same thing Meredith and I'm sure Derek would agree. You know that we can function without the spleen, but I've seen many situations like this, and it was worth the effort of trying to prevent removing the organ and try to avoid the increased risk of bacterial infection that he'll live with for the rest of his life."

"But," she said to him, "the risks increase basically for streptococcus pneumonia…"

"Yes, but after an operation as serious as his, it also increases the risk of infection in the short term, which we try to avoid."

"What would you say his prognosis is now? Are you sure you've stopped the bleeding, will you need to go back in? How high is the risk for further complications? You said it affects him for the rest of his life, what exactly does that mean… I mean…I would normally know the answers, be certain about what this all means, but now, it's Derek…

I just want to make sure…I need for him to be ok."

The doctor saw the fear and concern in Meredith's eyes and proceeded to answer each of her questions.

"His prognosis is excellent. We have stopped the bleeding and that surgery went very well, and I'm telling you he is going to recover without any major side effects. In the future, even the simplest of colds will require treatment with antibiotics, usually as you know it will be penicillin, which is not a big deal, but as doctors we do try to keep all our organs in working order," he smiled at her.

"Dr. Sullivan, the bleeding didn't stop the first time, are you sure…is he ok now?"

"Yes, he is, and had it not been for this afternoon's incident he would likely be telling you that now himself."

"Will you please tell me what happened?" Meredith said, "please…you had to sedate him, surely that wasn't because everything was fine."

"Of course I will," he told her. "Meredith, his reaction had nothing to do with his surgery, trust me on that. But, his agitation was a result of hearing that something was wrong with you. That was his only concern, it was only your name he repeated, and once we were able to assure him you were ok, we were able to get his vitals under control."

"He shouldn't be worried about me," she voiced her thoughts, surprising Carolyn and Miranda as they exchanged concerned glances.

"Of course he should," Carolyn Shepherd interjected, "just as you're worried about him."

"He's had surgery," Meredith said, "I'm fine."

"He did manage to say," the doctor chuckled, "Mom, Mer's fine…not fine, trouble."

"Meredith," Carolyn said, "Dr. Bailey explained to him that you fainted out as a result of not eating in over twenty four hours and he accepted that."

"But," Mark joined in, deciding that hiding things from her was not the best approach, "Shep was not as understanding about what Nancy said, and quite distressed you had apparently believed her, that's why I called Lexie so she'd get you here."

"I understand," Meredith said quietly. "I should have never left."

"No," Miranda Bailey spoke up, "you actually should still be at home, just as I told you, and Shepherd knows that and he muttered, good, when I told him I insisted."

"Meredith," the older doctor spoke, "it was quite clear to me he was not going to truly calm down until he saw you, and since Miranda was adamant about you being away a few hours, I decided to sedate him so he could get some much needed rest."

Meredith became very quiet, processing all that had been said. It had been a minor crisis, the doctor has said, but they'd still had to rush in to stabilize him, and he was upset enough his doctor had opted for sedation. "When do you expect he will be awake?"

"In the next several hours, and I agree with Sloan, I would like for you to be here when he wakes up. Miranda's concerned about you, so I will defer to her about you getting some rest, and give instructions to the nurses to make sure to call you."

"You're sure he's going to be ok? The second surgery, the bleeding stopped, no other complications or repercussions."

"I'm sure of it," he assured her. "Meredith, I joke about being old, but I'm not," he smiled, he was a man in his early fifties. "I've been doing this a long time, and not too badly, in fact you've been in my OR plenty of times."

"Dr. Sullivan, I'm sorry, I wasn't implying anything…I'm just worried about him."

"I know you are," he smiled gently. "The second surgery was textbook perfect. No complications and our concern, and rightly so was due to the fact he'd been under anesthesia twice in a very short period of time, but after the few minutes he was awake, I'm not concerned, and I'm counting on a speedy recovery, and other than the occasional antibiotics, there won't be any long term side effects."

"I wasn't here," she whispered almost oblivious to their presence.

"Meredith," Miranda said to her, "he understood. He knows I sent you home, and that you would be back in a couple hours."

"He…" she said absently, "he never left my side," and became further withdrawn.

"You're here now sweetheart," Carolyn drew her close, whispered to her, "and once you tell him your news…he'll be happy you went home."

"I don't want him to know," Meredith turned to his mother, and the look in her eyes saddened Carolyn deeply as she witnessed the doubts that had taken a permanent hold of her expression.

"Whenever you're ready sweetheart, that will be the right time," she smiled at her, but met Miranda's gaze. The two men were talking and had not been privy to their exchange.

"Meredith," Dr. Sullivan asked her, "do you have any other questions?"

"No. Thank you, you've been very patient and kind."

"I've been there, one of my kids had a ruptured appendix, and you would have thought I'd never seen a medical textbook in my life. My wife and I were useless," he joked, "fortunately, we had Bailey here to remind me of my extensive medical training."

"How long do you expect he will be in the hospital?"

"Hoping no more than five or six days," he answered.

"Why that long? Normally…it would be three or four…"

"Yes," he continued to talk to the wife, not the doctor, "that would be in the case of a simple splenectomy, but as you've pointed out, he's had two major surgeries and there's no rush to get him home."

"Thank you Dr. Sullivan," she said quietly.

"If you need anything, you call me, any questions, any doubts…don't hesitate. I'm very fond of Derek, and look forward to having him back here in a few weeks."

Mark left with him after telling Carolyn he was going to brief her daughters and encourage them to go to the hotel, and would be back.

"Grey," Miranda spoke when they were alone. "You did not follow my instructions."

"I'm fine Dr. Bailey."

"You're not fine, and I don't expect you to be. Now, you really do have two options, go get some rest in an on call room or…"

"Carolyn knows," Meredith whispered quietly.

"Yes, I believe she does, but that doesn't mean I can talk to her about a patient."

"I don't want him to know. Too many things can still go wrong," she stated, and the depth of her sadness was reflected in her eyes.

"Meredith," Carolyn spoke softly, "will you allow me to speak freely in front of Dr. Bailey?"

"Yes," she said, accepting they'd be talking about her pregnancy, "but not here."

"He's asleep Meredith, he can't hear."

"That's what we thought before," she said.

"Ok," Miranda agreed, "we can go outside," and noticing Meredith's reluctance to move from his side pressed the call button to get a nurse in the room, and once she did, instructed she should be paged in case there was any indication Dr. Shepherd was waking.

Meredith did not put up any resistance and followed them out, and were met by her friends, Alex, Izzie and Cristina all concerned over Derek, but just as much about Meredith's emotional well being, and they spent several minutes summarizing what Dr. Sullivan had told them, before Alex said they would be back in the morning.

"Mer," Cristina took her briefly aside, "you don't look well, are you ok?"

"I'm fine," she started to say.

"Oh no," Cristina said, "fine is really bad. Please tell me it's not true, what that bitch said…and that you've not allowed her to upset you…Mer," she said sincerely, "Shepherd loves you."

"Sometimes," Meredith said quietly, "love isn't enough."

"Meredith Grey," Cristina said, "you listen to me…if there's one thing I'm sure about…and you know how I feel about Shepherd, is that he loves you."

"I know…I think he loves me too."

"Then what's wrong?"

"He didn't want to marry me Cristina, he chose…not to marry me."

"That is crap, Meredith, and you know it…"

"Let's talk later, please…I have to talk to Dr. Bailey and his Mom."

"Call me," Cristina said, "I'm going to be here for a while, but I'm right across the street, I can be here in a few minutes."

"Thanks Cristina," Meredith said softly, and before she knew it found herself in an awkward and brief embrace.

"I love you Meredith Grey, don't forget that…I'm here, whenever you need me."

"Thanks," Meredith said as tears gathered, "I'm going to need you…"

"Mer," Cristina, "please…don't go all dark and twisty…he loves you," she said, and began to worry about her person's lackluster reaction.

When her friends had left, the three women walked to a nearby room used to talk to patient's families, worrying both Miranda and Carolyn until they were able to speak with her in private.

"Sit down Grey, I'm not very happy with you ignoring my instructions and trying to tell me you're fine, that word that's lost all meaning coming from you," Miranda admonished. "Your sister told me you seemed to have experienced some dizziness both at home and when you got to the hospital."

"I did," she admitted, as she remained standing, which in a sense worried Miranda even more, for surely the Meredith she knew would continue to live in denial. "It was brief, but…it's not a pleasant feeling when you sense you could pass out."

"Sit down Meredith," Carolyn said softly. "Dr. Bailey, I'm aware that she is pregnant, and I believe she's already spoken to you and that's the reason you sent her home."

"Mrs. Shepherd, maybe I should talk to her first," she said diplomatically.

"Nonsense, it's my daughter in law and grandchild we're both concerned about, and she's already consented that I can speak freely with you."

"Meredith…" Miranda Bailey spoke in an unusually gentle tone, "is that ok?"

"Yes, Dr. Bailey, she knows, but no one else, I don't want anyone else to know."

"Did the cramping continue?"

"Meredith," Carolyn interrupted, "sweetheart you didn't tell me you weren't feeling well, that you'd been experiencing any discomfort."

"I spoke with Dr. Bailey before I left, she said it could be normal, the cramping."

"Dr. Bailey, she needs to see an obstetrician."

"Yes ma'am, I've already scheduled her for an appointment first thing tomorrow. But, meanwhile I asked that she get some rest, as well as assuring her oftentimes cramping at the early stages of pregnancy is perfectly normal, even later as I found out with my son."

"But, Dr. Bailey you were on bed rest," Meredith said growing concerned.

"Grey, at the end of my pregnancy," she assured her.

"Meredith, why don't you tell me what you've been feeling, I've been through this five times, not to mention all my girls' pregnancies," Carolyn said, and Meredith surprisingly complied, filling them both in with her concerns over the last twenty four hours, and both women told her what she was experiencing could be relatively normal, but that her appointment the next morning would do more to reassure her.

"I don't want Derek to know…not like this, and not until I know if it's going to be ok," she said, and both women were indeed concerned, because in spite of her words there was an undeniable sense of detachment they detected, and this had not been the case earlier in the day when she'd broken down, afraid Derek would never know about their baby. But neither was aware of the emotions she was experiencing, the almost certain acceptance that something would go wrong, because, that was what Meredith Grey had grown accustomed to expect from life, and Derek's presence, the time they'd had together, she'd already begun to accept had been but a brief moment, a brief glimpse of happiness, and now she simply waited for all of it to be taken away.

The dreams and hopes Meredith had allowed to soar barely twenty four hours before, all wiped away by the thoughtless words of a woman who, ironically, also had Derek's best interest at heart, but detrimental to the obstacles this fated couple had overcome.

"I think we should go back," Meredith said, "in case he wakes up, I don't want him to be unnecessarily upset," she said as the emotional shutdown continued. Because now, regrettably, Meredith's frame of mind was such, possibly hormones, possibly the overwhelming fear of almost losing him, that it chose the well traveled road of dark, twisty and the familiar inevitable disappointment.

"I'm going to talk to my daughters, and make sure they go home."

"Carolyn," Meredith said, "you should go get some rest, you heard Dr. Sullivan, it could be hours before he wakes up, and I'm going to stay with him."

"She's right, you know," Miranda said, "you should get some rest, but Meredith, you should too, and I'm going to make sure you get yourself to…"

"Dr. Bailey," Carolyn said, "surely you know I'm not going anywhere. But don't worry, Meredith will get some rest, as she's going to see Derek now, and then I will stay so she goes to lie down."

"Ok," Meredith interrupted them, gaining a bit of feistiness back, "I know you both mean well and I really appreciate it, but I'm not leaving his room, not until he wakes up."

"That is fine," his mother consented. "You go on, I will be back shortly to keep you company."

"God help him," Miranda muttered, "he's not going to know what hit him when he wakes up and has to deal with two bossy women, and four sisters. I'm going to make sure there's two recliners in that cubicle of his, which means nobody else will be able to walk in there because there's no room," and walked away mumbling about stubbornness, but smiled as she thought, she'd be doing exactly the same thing.

Carolyn's mere presence comforted her throughout the night, "Meredith, I want you to sit in that chair and put your feet up, and I'm not taking no for an answer," she said a couple of hours after she'd sent her daughters away, and it was now nearly ten o'clock. Mark had gone to dinner with them, though Lexie had refused and stayed in the hospital checking in on them periodically, when finally a few minutes before Meredith had insisted she go home. Her sister had left reluctantly after she'd brought Meredith and Carolyn something to eat, including a glass of warm milk and cookies for them both.

"Warm milk?" Meredith asked her.

"It was Mom's remedy," Lexie smiled, "cure all for a good night's sleep, and you both should get some sleep. The nurses have been instructed to let you know if there's any sign that he's waking up, and I can stay with him, if you go get some rest, I'll stay."

"You're a good girl Lexie," Carolyn smiled, "I'm glad Mark's found you. Now, you go on and tell him I don't want to see either of you back here till morning," she said as she kissed her cheek.

"Mer, if you need anything, you'll call me?" Lexie asked.

"I'll call you," she smiled, "thank you…for everything."

"I love you Meredith," Lexie said as she hugged her sister, and Meredith hugged her back. "I'm glad you're in my life Lexie."

"Warm milk," Carolyn smiled, "won't she be surprised."

"I don't want to say anything…" Meredith repeated her earlier statement.

"I know dear, but just wait till Derek finds out, he'll be telling everyone he knows, and those he doesn't," she said, and her heart broke a little as she saw the expression of uncertainty in Meredith's face. "You know Meredith," she said as she sat down across from her, finally prying her away from his bedside, "I'm deeply, deeply ashamed of what Nancy said to you, and I have told her I will not allow her back in here until she apologizes."

"Carolyn, no," she said, and by the time Meredith finished talking, she had become Carolyn Shepherd's new daughter, the term in law vanished forever from her mind, for this was the woman that God had intended for her son.

"Please, it's not important, and you know, she wasn't far off, Derek…he deserves better…much better than me," she said and cursed the tears that she had no control over. "I told you, remember, I'm not the girl mother's like…and why would his sister…I understand…I do…that he can do better…and that he's had doubts, maybe changed his mind about marriage, so I understand," she said, and each word she repeated to his mother reemphasized her doubts and made her heart ache, "but he won't understand if she's not here, he told me…when we first met, we had a patient," she repeated the conversation from long ago, "he'd want his sisters here…she should be here…"

"I'm going to forget," Carolyn rose from her chair and walked to her, and sat on the corner of her chair reaching for her hands, and whispered for her ears only, "what you've said, and pretend it's hormones talking, because sweetheart, I know…there is no one better than you for my son, and that is how he feels, and the moment I met you, I knew you were the one for him."

"You hardly spent any time with me, and I was a fraud…fake…"

"That's what he said…"

Meredith was shocked, "Derek…he said I was a fake…"

"No," Carolyn laughed softly, "he said, you spent less than an hour with her, you barely even know her…"

"Oh…"

"Yes," Carolyn smiled, "oh…and I told him, I knew enough…I knew you were the one…"

"I'm," she bit her lower lips to keep them from trembling, "I'm so scared," she said, and later she'd ponder what had possessed her to be so open with his mother, surely, it was pregnancy hormones, because she'd never acted this way before.

"I know you are," his mother soothed, as she made room to share the wide chair with Meredith, an easy feat given Meredith's thin frame.

"I…I was sure I'd lost him," she whispered, "and, I can't…I can't…" she took a deep breath, "I can't imagine my life without him in it…even if he wants to walk away…I can't…he can't die..."

"He is not going to die," Carolyn told her, "and he is not going to walk away, he loves you and I know you love him, and now, it's not just the two of you anymore…"

"I'm scared, Carolyn…what if I lose the baby…and even…even if everything's ok, he can't be with me because of a baby…" she said, exposing all her resurfaced doubts as well as newly found fears.

"Oh, sweetheart," Carolyn said as she embraced her, "that's not going to happen, my son loves you…he adores you…Meredith…I know this, deep in my heart…my very soul, I know he loves you and you are the love of his life…and I know, the two of you are meant to be together…forever…just as his father and me…we had that kind of love Meredith, the love that lasts a lifetime…and beyond."

"You're so sure…" Meredith whimpered.

"I have no doubts," she said, and held her close to her, offering tender words of comfort, and for the first time in her life, Meredith felt the comfort and love of a mother's gentle embrace as Carolyn whispered, "and I also know I have a new daughter to love."

Neither woman witnessed the slight fluttering of his eyelids, he couldn't hear their conversation, but somehow felt their presence, and finally his eyes opened briefly and he glanced to the side and found Meredith in his mother's embrace, and ever so briefly offered a silent prayer, unable to keep his eyes open, "thank you."

Meredith had been certain she'd be by his side all night, monitoring his condition, but she had not counted on the fact that pregnancy could indeed take its toll and on top of the emotional rollercoaster of the last day, she was physically exhausted, and Carolyn made sure she rested, covering her with a blanket as she pretty much forced her to lie back in the recliner, after telling her she could kiss Derek good night first. She, however, hovered over her son. It was not the first time she'd kept a vigil over a sick child or grandchild, and now she kept watch over two of them.

Meredith woke in the early hours of the new day, experiencing the familiar sensation of the last several days, waking to go to the bathroom. "Carolyn," she said quietly as she got up and walked to her side, "I'll be right back, and then you have to get some rest."

"Are you ok?"

"Yes," she smiled softly, "have to go to the bathroom. Feels like I'm holding a gallon of water."

"Get used to it," Carolyn smiled, and offered yet another silent prayer for her children and new grandchild.

"I brought you hot chocolate," Meredith said about fifteen minutes later, handing her a cup as she drank from her own. "Thought you'd like that."

"Not to mention, you wanted one…am I right?"

"I never drink this…but…yes…"

"Get used to that too sweetheart…"

"I found an on call room, and it's clean…changed the sheets and all, and I really want you to get some rest. You've been up much longer than I have, and traveled across the country…will you get some rest, please?"

"But, you…"

"Carolyn," she said, "I'm ok…I am…and I'm used to forty-eight hour shifts."

"Not while you're pregnant," she told her very quietly, "so…"

"But," Meredith thought of what other excuse would work, "you're older…"

"Meredith," she had a fake offended look, "did you just call me old…"

"Oh no, I didn't mean…I just…well, you are…older…but I didn't mean old…just that, you've been traveling and haven't slept…"

"Oh sweetheart," Carolyn chuckled softly, "it's ok…I was teasing you, and you know, you're right…as much as I hate to admit it, I could probably use a few hours sleep."

Meredith walked with her to the on call room, and told her to lock the door so she would not be disturbed, and walked back to Derek's critical care cubicle. Now it was her turn to hover again as she stood by his bedside, and reached for his hand, gently caressing it, and then her fingers caressed his forehead before being replaced by her lips.

"You know, I didn't think you could hear me before, I sort of told you my secret, and you probably can't hear me now, but if you can, Derek," she said, and her throat closed threatening to choke her, "I love you…I love you so much…and I was so scared I'd lost you, but you're ok… I know…I was lucky…the time I had with you…you made me believe in so many things…so many things I'd given up on, things I'd never allowed myself to feel…you made me believe in fairytales…and now," she wiped away her tears, "now…I love you Derek…I'll always love you…but I know…I wasn't any prize…just the slutty intern…from a one night stand…and you deserve so much more…so much more…and your mother, she says I'm being irrational…but…I don't want you to feel you're stuck with me…Nancy was right…I understand if you have doubts…and it doesn't change what I feel for you…I swear…I love you…I will even…even if you have doubts…I love you Derek…" she said as she placed a kiss on his lips, and the tears blurred her vision, so she did not see the tear that slid down his cheek, as she looked away and reached to hold his hand in hers.

"Mer…" his voice was but a raspy whisper that went unheard, but then she felt the gentle squeeze of his hand on hers.

"Mer…promised…" he repeated as her eyes grew wide.

"Derek," she said, tears gathering, joyful tears that he was awake, "don't talk…don't talk…do you need anything…are you feeling ok…of course you're not…what do you need…Derek…you're going to be ok," she told him.

"Water," he said, taking a deep breath, and she could see that it was painful.

"Don't talk…it's been more than five hours…you can have a little water…" she said and turned to pour water in a small cup and brought it to his lips so he could sip through a straw.

"Mer…you promised…" he said, searching her eyes.

"We can talk later…now you still need to rest," she said, but he knew her well, and the look in her eyes confirmed what he already knew. Nancy's words had devastated her, and there was nothing he could do to change things, not while he lay convalescing, weak as a newborn, unable to reassure her properly.

"No…no running…you promised," he said, seeking her gaze, which she was avoiding.

"I'm here," she smiled softly.

"Forever…" he said, needing to tell her, wanting to tell her that was their surprise, "I love you…"

I know…" she said, and he saw the sadness in her eyes, breaking his heart, and heard the defeat in her voice, making him resent his sister for the pain she'd caused.

"Meredith," he said, unable to keep his eyes open much longer, "my wife …forever…" were the last words he whispered before succumbing to the lingering effects of the sedative and the trauma his body had experienced, his hand holding on to hers, his lifeline, his last thoughts a prayer they would survive this setback, and then as sleep claimed him, he had a vague memory, not a recent one…but recalled the sensation of her lips on his as she whispered softly, "I love you Derek…you can't leave me…you promised, and you'll like my surprise…my little secret…you can't leave us."

_A/N 3AUG09 - Thanks to all of you that have put this on your story alert... if you read & you make even one word comment...really appreciated._

_A/N 1AUG09 - Thanks for all the comments...and sorry for not being "enthused" about season 6 on the MD front. The post it note... beautifully romantic and sweet...but a wedding and marriage it is not._

_Meant to post this much quicker, as a reader, I'd have been pretty annoyed to leave it there. Thought was almost done with this chapter and did not want to keep you waiting, but found that at the 2900 words I had written didn't quite accomplish what I wanted, so today completed the 6900 + and is more what I had in mind. Thanks for reading and for your inspiring comments, makes me want to write faster!_


	6. Chapter 6

A/N 27AUG09 -Thanks for your patience with this update. August has been hectic beyond belief, but amazingly rewarding, as today we finished distributing the last of 2,045 book bags to children from the inner city and very low income families.

_Meredith's recollections of what Derek's said in the past are in italics, and appropriately chose indigo blue as the font color. Some dialogue borrowed from Grey's, followed my Meredith's thoughts in regular font._

Your comments greatly appreciated. Not sure how I feel about this chapter, but, guess you could say it's a reflection of many things I wish we'd never seen, and sets things up for a much needed conversation between Meredith & Derek. But, let me know if you hate it, I can always delete it! This story will be wrapped up before Grey's season six premieres. Hope all are enjoy the weeks left of summer. Warm regards, Jasmin

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 6**

Meredith kept vigil during the night, hovering by the bed, keeping an eye on his vitals, monitoring his every movement, sporadic as they were, as he slept and his body continued its slow healing process. She remained silent this time, unlike the hours following the first surgery; there were no whispered words of love or comfort, as she allowed him to rest, undisturbed by her voice or touch.

Last night, doubts and fears revolved around his recovery. Unlike this night, when those same feelings turned to deep emotional darkness settling in her heart as she remembered all that had gone wrong between them, and with each painful recollection she continued to retreat behind the old familiar and comforting walls of avoidance.

"_Pick me, choose me…love me…" _He had picked Addison.

Derek had only let her know he'd picked Addison after she'd waited for him at Joe's, and then over the scrub sink had acknowledged what she'd said. Rose, though, had deserved his visit, his conscience being clear, after only weeks of knowing her. She had not been important enough for him to be open with her, even after he'd lied to her for two months and kept his marriage and wife a secret, and he had known she was in love with him.

"_She's my wife."_ He'd had no doubts about wanting to stay with Addison, about wanting to work on their marriage. When given a chance, Meredith's thoughts grew grimmer, he'd opted not to have a legal wedding with her, keeping only the post it note.

"_Was the knitting a phase? Who's next, Alex? Cause I hear he likes to sleep around, you two have that in common."_ He had called here a whore. _"This thing with us is finished, it's over. Finally. Yeah, it's done. It is done."_

"_You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy. He's the better guy Meredith. Finn's the better guy. I'm walking away."_ He didn't choose her, again.

Meredith's thoughts continued to pave the way for the downward spiral of her emotional state, as the hours ticked away, unaware of the consequences that would follow the inevitable schism.

"_I should have called," he'd said. "But you didn't," she'd said without resentment. _

"_I wanted us to work, it's just complicated. I think I need a little time, take some space."_ Meredith wiped the tears away as she looked over his sleeping form, he'd been content to walk away.

"_I broke up with Finn."_ She'd told him in the elevator and got a one word expressionless response. _"Ok."_ Then, he'd walked away, again.

"_From now on, you can expect I'm gonna show up."_ He hadn't. He'd promised. But, she should have known better. People didn't stick around for Meredith Grey.

Meredith Grey was used to people giving up on her, or more precisely giving her up.

Meredith continued to stare into the distance, the beeping of monitors increasingly disturbing when they man you loved was the patient connected to machines.

Forty eight hours ago her day had begun with her heart filled with hope, and she'd spent it anticipating the evening's celebrations. She knew he had a surprise for her, but she was certain he'd love hers, and was counting the minutes until she saw the reaction on his face. Surprises, she'd thought that morning could turn out to be extraordinary.

Today had barely begun, she noted as she glimpsed as her watch, it was just after five in the morning, and already the betraying thoughts going through her mind were almost certain to guarantee it could be one of the worst days of her life.

"_I love you and I want you, but I don't know… I don't know if I can … I don't know if I want to keep trying to breathe for you." She'd asked, intimate whispers in the night, insisting he share his thoughts, and then when he did, she was devastated, and all she could say was, " I should go," still with hope that he'd want her to stay, but his silence confirmed all she'd ever known. Abandonment. But, this time, the pain was unbearable. She'd trusted him with her heart and soul, and he'd decided she wasn't worth it. "I'll go." _On that stormy night, he'd let her go.

"_I want to let you in. I swear. Now is not the time to give up on me."_ She fought back the tears as she thought back to that morning; he'd given up, not shown up within a couple days time. The night Susan died, he'd chosen to stay away.

"_Put me out of my misery."_ She had, and without resistance, he'd let her go. No surprise there. The years had taught her ordinary people didn't inspire people to stick around. Even her parents hadn't cared. Her father walked away and never looked back.

"_What if while I'm waiting I meet someone who's ready to give me what I want from you? What if you do? I don't know."_ It had not taken long to find out. She'd told him, she didn't want him dating anyone but her. But, he'd already kissed a nurse earlier that same day. She wiped a tear away, remembering how they'd begun the day with stolen moments for sex, and then the next day, failing to recognize any of the attempts she'd made, failing to take any responsibility for the fact he'd wanted to date other people, but she never had, and dismissing the fact he'd kissed the nurse, he walked away from her again, that time choosing Rose.

"_That's what you and I do together. We kill things, over and over again. I don't want to work with you, I don't want to see you, I don't want to talk to you. We're done."_

"Oh God, no," she'd brought her hand to her mouth, holding back a sob as she stood by his bed, and one hand held on to its railing. "God, please…don't let there be anything wrong with our baby, please," she begged silently, "don't let this be one more thing he's right about."

Kathleen and Jenna, his younger sister, had watched Meredith through the glass over the last hour. Alternately her hand would reach over almost touching him, then retreat, and she'd wipe tears away with her hand. Now, she'd covered her mouth and her demeanor displayed symptoms of a heart breaking, and they could see her body trembling before she walked away as though she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders and sat down for a few minutes before returning to his side.

Dark, twisty thoughts consumed her, thinking back to all her foolishness. In spite of the harsh angry words he'd thrown at her before Beth's surgery, she'd forgiven his verbal attack and after its ultimate success chose to pursue the extraordinary. She'd built the house of candles, they'd kissed, very briefly. He'd walked away to talk to Rose. He wanted his conscience clear. However, she had not merited the same treatment. She had not been worthy of the same deference, ever.

Reluctantly, and only a handful of times during the four hours following Carolyn's absence, she gave in to the continued and persistent cramping and lay back on the recliner, and now this last time the overwhelming emotions came crashing down around her, as she placed her hand on her abdomen and let the tears fall as the more recent painful memories took over.

After his pregnant patient died, she found out he'd walked away from her again when she got home to discover he'd cleaned out his clothes from the closet. Then, defiling the memory of his parent's marriage batted his mother's engagement ring away.

"Kathleen," Jenna finally spoke, "I don't understand what's going on. It's like she's a different person. She has stood over him this last hour, and not once touched him or kissed him, like we saw yesterday."

"I know," Kathleen said.

"What do we do?" Jenna asked. "She's been crying for over an hour, and now, I can feel her heartbreak just watching her trying to hold herself together."

"Let's go in there," Kathleen said determinedly.

"Kat," Jenna spoke softly, "she may not want to see us. After the things Nancy said to her, I'm not sure she wants to see any of us."

"Jenna, she's been fine with Mom," and became absorbed with her thoughts.

"Kathleen, don't turn all shrink on me…what are you thinking?"

"Jenna, I was trying to pinpoint it…when she changed…it was right after what Nancy said. She's been withdrawing ever since. You can see the walls around her. I'm not saying she doesn't care, but she's protecting herself...she was like that the minute she came back to the hospital."

"Kat," Jenna said misty eyed. "She never left his side…hours without any rest or sleep, or evidently food since she fainted, and all we did was cause her pain. She made sure Mark called us the minute Derek was hurt, and look at how badly we treated her."

"We didn't," Kathleen said, "but for all intents and purposes we didn't put a stop to it."

"I like her Kathleen, she loves Derek and it's obvious he loves her," she wiped away a tear. "How they live their lives is none of our business."

"You're right and I've never seen Mom as angry as she is with Nancy."

"I know," Jenna said, and brushed another tear away, "and she's been damn angry with her over the years."

"You know she's not going to let her back in that room until she apologizes to Meredith," Kathleen said.

"She's right. She was bitchy and hateful," Jenna said, "and there was no reason for her to do that. I'm sure Derek has his reasons and we should respect that."

Kathleen watched the emotions reflected in her sister's voice and glimmering gaze, and in spite of the stress and worries over their brother, she began to see a glimpse of happiness.

"Jenna," Kathleen said, "I know you're worried about Derek…but, aren't you a bit overly sentimental too? These tears?"

"What are you getting at?"

"Jenna, are you pregnant?"

"Maybe," her sister answered.

"Jenna," Kathleen smiled, "really?"

"About five weeks," Jenna told her sister, "nobody knows."

"Nobody?" Kathleen teased her.

"Well…except the baby's father," she laughed.

"And what does my favorite brother in law say?"

"He hopes it's another girl," she laughed.

"I believe he probably does," Kathleen smiled at her. "Three girls…"

"Probably," Jenna smiled. "We don't really care, and are resigned to a girl."

"Can't believe Mom doesn't know."

"She's been too worried about Derek, and I just found out, and she's not paying a lot of attention to us right now."

"I'm happy for you Jenna," Kathleen hugged her. "Are you feeling ok?"

"Just starting a little morning sickness, but not too bad. Kathleen, do you like her?"

"I do. There's no doubt she loves him, but something's holding her back now. I can't believe Nancy's words affected her so much."

"Kathleen, I can understand that she would feel that way, and we don't know much about her, but remember…when Mom visited she told her she wasn't the kind of girl moms liked, there must be a lot more behind that statement we don't know."

"Mom likes her. She did from the very beginning."

Both sisters glanced over at Meredith, who'd risen from the chair, and for a brief moment held on to the back of the chair to steady herself.

"Let's go in Kathleen, she doesn't look too well, even from here you can tell she's become very pale."

"She probably hasn't had anything at all to eat," Kathleen said, "let's grab something for her to eat before we go in."

Meredith's negative train of thoughts continued to take root as she thought back to the weeks of planning their wedding, and she caught a glimpse of his sisters deep in conversation, further reiterating her erroneous interpretation of events.

Watching his family here with him made her begin to doubt everything about their relationship and its significance to Derek. They were all here, he'd want them here he'd told her when they'd first met while discussing one of their first cases. But, apparently, marrying her had not merited including his family in their wedding celebration. Then, as she continued to ponder the day of their wedding, she though he'd been almost eager to give it away to Izzie and Alex. He'd quite easily settled for a post it note. She, obviously, had not even been important enough to have a legal wedding ceremony to formalize their commitment.

"_There's no fixing you. You're a lemon."_ That was obviously what he really felt.

Now, she was pregnant. It was likely he'd think they'd have ordinary kids. He had after all agreed that because of her, they'd have crappy babies.

"_If you don't want my crappy babies. I want your crappy babies…"_

She knew all about crappy genes. She lived through the hell of it all. Ellis had never wanted her, and she sensed it growing up, and then she'd rambled about her affair with Richard, her regret over having a child, and adding salt to an ever open wound, the one day she had been lucid, she had told Meredith what a disappointment she was, how ordinary she had become, and that had led to the moment where giving up just one second changed her life.

Suddenly, feelings she never knew existed gave way to fiercely protective motherly instincts, she went to sit down and she placed both hands on her abdomen, gently caressing the spot where she knew their child was being nurtured.

"Hey, baby," her thoughts flowed silently, "I'm your mommy, and I love you so much, and I need you to listen to me…please…be good for me…I'm going to take very good care of you, and do everything the doctor tells me…so you need to stay calm so you can grow and be healthy, and I promise you…I'm always going to be here for you and I'm going to learn everything I can to be a good mother, so you forget your grandmother's and grandfather's crappy genes, well," even her silent conversations included rambling, "maybe it's just mom's genes, since Lexie didn't turn out so bad…but you know what, I'm never going to let anyone believe you're anything other than extraordinary…because you already are…and will make sure you know that…and I love you so much…and," she was unable to hold back the overwhelming emotions any longer and she buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

That was the scene Jenna and Kathleen witnessed, and Jenna went to her side, and lowering herself to meet her gaze, took her hands in hers. "Meredith, what's wrong?"

Shocked by their presence in the room, she attempted to hide her feelings, avoid dealing with all the ramifications, and then as she met the kindness in her eyes, she voiced her doubts and fears.

"Your sister was right," she said, wiping the tears away. "Derek obviously had doubts," she paused long enough to keep her emotions in check, "I'm going to wait till he's ok, then I'm going to leave…and let him take the time he may want…away from me."

"Oh, no," Kathleen bridged the distance between them, speaking to her softly, "Meredith, no, no…that is not what my brother wants."

"It is…" Meredith replied, quietly resigned to her fate. Fate, however, wanted to shake some sense into her, while Derek, if he'd heard her, would have made every attempt to jump out of bed and hold her and assure her she was wrong; that he loved her and that he believed in their promises; that he had meant it when he'd said it was forever. But, regrettably, Derek had not been able to do any of those things, and thus the current hormone induced irrationality reigned over objective thoughts. "It is, what he wants. He's made that obvious…over and over again."

"Listen to me," Kathleen insisted, "Meredith, you did not see him…you did not see the desperation in his eyes when he thought there was something wrong with you…his only concern was for you."

I know he cares," Meredith said, her voice laced with sadness, "I do…"

"He loves you…" Jenna said.

"I love him too," Meredith said, and tears gathered in her eyes once again, and they met Jenna's, and as the years went by, both would remember that moment as the one that created an irrevocable bond of friendship, based on a common secret they'd soon reveal.

"Then how can you talk about walking away?" Kathleen asked softly.

"Sometimes…" she repeated the words she'd said to Cristina late the night before. Her voice was tired, exhausted, devoid of all emotion only because if she allowed them to surface, if she allowed herself to feel, she'd fall apart. "Derek will tell you…that love isn't always enough."

"Meredith," Kathleen said, "please don't let what Nancy said affect your relationship with my brother. We all had a glimpse of what he feels for you. Derek loves you, and that is an absolute certainty. "

"It's ok," Meredith said. "Kathleen, she just pointed out the obvious," and the trained psychiatrist recognized the walls of avoidance slowly and methodically erected by the woman that would become her friend. But, the sister saw only the depth of pain being experienced by the woman her brother undoubtedly loved and wondered how she could help.

Heartbreaking reverberations were the result of careless words uttered. But, Meredith would have never imagined they would also lead to the discovery of deep and lasting bonds of friendship, and eventually, though not as quickly as Jenna, Kathleen or Carolyn would have liked, the reconciling of lovers…two soul mates destined to be together for a lifetime.


	7. Chapter 7

_Some of you have also read Shattered Dreams, and as that title suggests, there were some difficult chapters to write, and I took a great deal of care to ensure the subject matter was treated with sensitivity and realistically, and was ever grateful for the experiences shared by a dear friend and reader. Though HR deals with a pregnancy, I have not paid as much attention to some of those details, as in this story it does not have anywhere near the emotional impact or consequences as in SD (in case you have not read it, and do at some point, don't want to be any more specific here at this time). _

_Thank you for still wanting to read. I hope you are not disappointed. I will do all possible to write/post the next chapter by next weekend._

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 7**

Kathleen and Jenna exchanged glances, both determined to somehow diminish the evident distress affecting Meredith, all as a result of their sister's thoughtlessness.

"Meredith," Kathleen said, "Nancy had no right to speak as she did, and we won't attempt to excuse her behavior," she paused to gauge her reaction, which had become quite concerning, as she could see the rapidly increasing protective mechanisms as Meredith's gaze became distant and seemingly devoid of emotions.

Meredith's thoughts were focused exclusively on the intermittent cramping that she'd been experiencing over the last several minutes, but Jenna's words finally got through to her.

"Meredith," Jenna said softly, once again lowering herself to meet her gaze, "something's wrong, I can see it in your eyes. Please…don't judge us by Nancy's behavior…let us help…"

"Of course there's something wrong…" Meredith said defensively, "your brother's just had two major surgeries…"

Jenna did not allow her to finish, and though she was not sure if the gesture would be accepted, she reached for Meredith's hand, "it's more than that…" she said with certainty, "you know it is…and sometimes, it helps to share our burdens with others…"

Meredith said almost inaudibly, "burdens…you think that's what we…" she stopped herself, afraid she'd almost revealed her secret, their baby already a part of her every thought.

"Meredith," Jenna interrupted her, instinctively sensing the avalanche of doubts and sadness about to descend upon her, and ultimately incapable of being stopped. But, she was not about to be deterred, and carefully chose her words, hoping to break through the apparent emotional distancing, "I did not say that…but since you made the assumption, is that what you think now…that Derek is a burden?"

"What," Meredith said incredulously, "how…I've not given you any reason to say that…and you speak of Nancy…but…you…what you just said…you consider that helping…"

"What I just said," Jenna continued to speak softly, "was to ask you to let us help you…and that was just a figure of speech. Meredith, we know you love Derek…but, something's happened, Kathleen and I have been here for hours, and we've seen you watch over him, but you won't touch him…"

"You've been watching me," Meredith said, her eyes betraying her as they filled with tears, "as though I'm …"

"We've been here because of Derek, but we are concerned about you…and yes, we've been watching, but to make it perfectly clear, and avoid any further miscommunication," Jenna continued, "we've been watching, as though you are the woman he loves, the woman whose behavior has changed drastically over the last twenty four hours."

"Now you're judging me…" Meredith reproached.

"Oh for the love of God," Jenna said exasperated.

"Jenna," Kathleen soothed.

"Don't Jenna me…she's purposely misinterpreting what I'm saying and you know it Kathleen, I'm trying to be nice…to make up for Nancy's bitchiness, while we're dealing with our own fears about Derek's health and Meredith is being purposely obtuse, and my emotions are all over the damn place and you know that too, and all I want to do right now is find the nearest bathroom and throw up…and it's not even six o'clock in the morning, so don't tell me…"

"Meredith," Kathleen spoke now, the psychiatrist in her had been paying careful attention to the interaction between the two women, "you've just witnessed a typical irrational pregnant Jenna rant…and I only hope we're spared the inevitable faucet that follows"

"You're pregnant…" Meredith whispered as her gaze softened and locked with Jenna's.

"I am," Jenna immediately reacted to Meredith's tone and smiled, "only Kathleen knows…well, and my husband, but now is not the time to bring it up, it's early yet."

"You don't want to tell your family?"

"They're going to know soon enough, and the most important thing right now is that Derek is well…and you…that the two of you are ok."

"He's going to be ok…" Meredith said, seeking reassurance, while she thought of her own pregnancy and hoped it too would be ok.

"Of course he is," Jenna said, "but you…whatever is wrong, I'd like to help, so would Kathleen. Meredith, we're not so bad…even Nancy, she's just concerned for his…"

"Meredith," Kathleen's well practiced older sister role took over, "forget Nancy…she was a bitch, plain and simple. Jenna, don't try to excuse it, but, all of us don't feel the same way, and I've seen my brother's reaction when he heard you'd fainted…and his concern over you…don't let her cloud those facts," she put her hand on her shoulder, "just know that we're here for you…whatever you need," she smiled, "and we're his two favorite sisters."

"She's not really," Jenna smiled, "I am."

"Go right ahead and think that," Kathleen teased her, and finally Meredith showed a hint of amusement with a half smile.

"You're both very kind," Meredith said.

"Forget that kind crap," Kathleen said, "you are going to be our brother's wife for the next forty years and knowing him, even longer, so that makes you our family."

"You know we're not married," Meredith said quietly, averting her gaze.

"We know," Kathleen insisted, "that he wants you as his wife…he thinks of you as his wife…and that is enough for us…let it be enough for you, you're part of our family now too."

It was at that moment that the relationship between the three women truly began, as Meredith simply said, "thank you."

It was also at that moment the relationship with Nancy was further alienated as she walked in, and Meredith's first significant bout of morning sickness flared up.

"Well, isn't this cozy," Nancy said. "It's nice to see this… family bonding time," and made no attempt to disguise the sarcasm from her tone.

Not now, Meredith pleaded to any higher force that was willing to listen and closed her eyes. Please she continued, speaking silently to her still tiny unborn child, or embryo she thought and almost laughed. Cristina would make fun and not think of it as a baby, and her look softened as her hand found its way to her abdomen involuntarily, and that was the glimpse Jenna saw and smiled, surely…not…his sister thought.

"I'll go now," Meredith said, realizing she had truly lost all track of time until Jenna had mentioned it was barely after six, and if the last four or five days were any indication, this was the time she'd begin to experience a bit of nausea. "Derek may wake up soon, and he'll be pleased that you are all here," she said, trying to fight off the dizziness, but now, unlike the first morning at the hospital when she'd literally passed out, she knew this was not a panic attack as full blown waves upon waves of nausea hit her. This she thought, and closed her eyes again, was morning sickness in its full manifestation, and she began to rise, but decided it best to remain sitting trying to avoid a repeat of the incident when she passed out, and hoping the lightheadedness would pass, while all three sisters remained quiet, each lost in their own thoughts and speculations long enough for two others to join them.

"Meredith," Carolyn Shepherd said as she walked in the room with her other daughter, Maggie, "did you get some sleep?" She took a good look at her and realized her grandchild was making its presence felt, "I hope you rested," she said and kissed her cheek.

"Yes…" Meredith started to say.

"No Mom," Kathleen said, "she didn't."

"Has Derek woken up?" Maggie asked.

"No…" Meredith told her, "he slept…and I think he got some rest…"

"Good," Carolyn said, "that's very good, and just what he needs right now…and you…" she addressed Meredith, "are coming with me and away from here to get some sleep."

"I'm fine," Meredith replied, even as she felt anything but that, and wanted desperately to find out if all was right with her pregnancy. "I'm going to go, Derek will be happy to see all of you when he wakes up," she muttered, and her heart was filled with sadness for all that should have been, for all the promises of their future, for the hope and happiness that had filled her heart barely two nights before. But now, irrational thoughts, undoubtedly as result of pregnancy hormones, made her believe that all had been irreparably damaged.

"Meredith dear," Carolyn said, and placing her hand on Meredith's elbow, "we agreed, I'd get a few hours sleep and then you would," and she was not met with resistance, as Meredith allowed her to lead her out of the confined space, but first she walked to Derek's side.

"Derek," she whispered, her voice barely making a sound as she craved a moment of privacy, "I love you…please…don't ever doubt that," she said and softly placed her lips on his, but at that moment, just as the morning premonition of the day she'd placed her hand inside the body that held a bomb, she knew their immediate future would indeed be ruled by doubts.

"Meredith," Carolyn asked she walked alongside her daughter in law, "when is your appointment?"

"Dr. Bailey set it up for eight," she answered.

"Good, that leaves more than an hour for you to get some rest."

"Carolyn, I did…I got some rest last night…"

"I was only gone for a handful of hours, so at best you got a couple hours sleep, so don't argue with me…and let's get you to lay down in that on call room you found for me. I just told a nurse, Tyler I believe, to make sure no one walks in that room, I got the bed ready for you too…clean sheets and all."

"You didn't have to do that," Meredith said.

"Of course I did…just like you did for me, and besides," she joked, "there were about five sets of clean sheets. Meredith, I don't think people here change them that often."

Meredith giggled, feeling light hearted for the first time in many hours, "I think you're right, and this is definitely not the conversation I ever expected to have with my mother in …" she stopped herself, "with Derek's mom."

Carolyn ignored her comment and led her to the on call room, "how are you feeling, you didn't look very well in Derek's room."

"I'm ok…suddenly I was quite nauseous, and I didn't think I'd make it out of the room without throwing up, but it seems to have passed."

"That's good," Carolyn said. "Now, you get some rest, and I'll be back here to wake you…and if you'd like…I can wait in the doctor's office during your appointment."

Meredith sat down on the edge of the bed, "Carolyn," she said, reluctant to voice her fears, but even more afraid to continue wondering, "the cramping…it hasn't gone away…do you think there's something wrong?" she asked, her eyes lowered as she attempted to keep the tears at bay.

"Oh sweetheart," Carolyn sat next to her and put her arm around her, "how bad is it? Has this been going on all night?"

"No," Meredith said quietly, "just this morning."

"I'm sure it's nothing," Carolyn said reassuringly.

"Carolyn…please…don't tell me what you think I want to hear."

"I think," Carolyn Shepherd soothed, "that you're going to be just fine…it's not unusual, I had that with a couple of my pregnancies, and the girls have too, and very soon you will see the doctor and he'll be able to tell you that himself."

"You think so…" Meredith stated.

"I do," Carolyn told her as she prayed that there was nothing wrong with the pregnancy, "now lie down and get some sleep."

Meredith did not think she would get any sleep as the dark twisty thoughts that kept her company during the night refused to be silenced, but thankfully her body gave in to much needed sleep. Her last thoughts had been of Derek, praying he'd be fine…praying her doubts would go away, wishing she could be at his side, wanting desperately to see him open his eyes and tell him her surprise and see his reaction.

Before long Meredith sat on the edge of an examining table, her mother in law in the waiting room, and she told the doctor what she'd been experiencing, including her realization a few days before that she could actually be pregnant.

"Meredith," the doctor spoke, "I hope it's ok if I call you by your first name."

"Yes…"

"I don't think there's any reason for concern, but there are some inconsistencies based on the information you have given me regarding the approximate time of conception, and the test results Dr. Bailey provided. The hcg levels are such that though normally we don't do an ultrasound so soon…"

"Oh…God…no…" was Meredith's only reaction and she began to experience an all too familiar sensation of panic as the possibility that something was wrong took its emotional toll.

"Meredith," the doctor said as he saw fear register on her face, "you need to trust me, I'm not saying anything is wrong…but, the cramping while it can be perfectly normal during implantation and during the first trimester…"

"Dr. Cameron," Meredith interrupted him, "please… just tell me…does the cramping mean I'll have a miscarriage?"

"No, it does not. Meredith, I hope this is the first of many visits over the next several months…and the answer I want to give you is that there is nothing wrong. But, you know…I can't tell you that until I have all the facts…I would not be a very good doctor if I gave you answers without …"

"What do you think could be wrong?" she asked again.

"You need to trust me," he said, "and the first thing you need to do is stop thinking that there is something wrong, and let me do my job," and we went on to explain that normally there would be no reason for an ultrasound, but given the gap between her calculations and the results from her blood test, he wanted to more accurately determine the stage of her pregnancy, and given the cramping eliminate any possibilities of an ectopic pregnancy, and for that purpose would perform a trans vaginal ultrasound, then and went on to explain the procedure.

"Dr. Cameron," Meredith said, "I know it's early…I don't think I would be more than four weeks along…what do you expect to see…"

"Meredith," he said indulgently, "you'll be able to see it all…and I'll explain it all to you as I go along."

"I don't want to look," she said suddenly and burst into tears.

"Meredith," he spoke quietly to her, he was in his late forties and was a pleasant and caring doctor, "before we continue, why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

"I don't want to look," she repeated as she wiped away the tears. "You can take a picture…right…it's ok to do that and I can take it with me?"

"Yes, but why don't you want to look at your baby?" He asked concerned over her reaction, as it was clear what she most feared was that something could be wrong.

"I'm not supposed to do this alone…my," she and Derek did occasionally refer to each other as husband and wife, but she no longer felt she could, "Derek, the baby's father…he needs to be here."

"Your husband, " he said, though he'd heard the rumors all over the hospital, Shepherd himself had mentioned his wife not so long ago when they worked on a case, " can be here the next time and I don't know Derek very well, but we have worked together and I have seen how he cares for his patients, so I'm sure that under the circumstances, he'd want you to get the best possible care and that's what I'm going to do. You don't have to look, you can have a copy of the ultrasound images."

"I don't want to look…or…if there's a heartbeat…which there shouldn't be…it's too early yet…I don't want to hear it…but…will you tell me…what you see…"

"Ok," he said once he'd inserted the condom covered transducer and the images were displayed on the screen, "we're getting the image… we have the gestational sac…the yolk sac," he smiled, "and here…the heart…and this explains…"

"What…what's wrong…what does it explain," she said without turning her head.

"Nothing is wrong, and everything is just right…all looks just fine with this baby," he chuckled, "and if you want to use the word wrong again…it will only apply to the fact that your calculations are completely wrong."

"That's not possible…"

"Meredith," he told her, "you're almost eight weeks pregnant."

"I'm what…" she exclaimed.

"Almost eight weeks along…" he said, "and from what I can see, there's no indication of anything wrong…"

"But the cramping…"

"Can be normal during the first trimester, and it's happening intermittently…I will want to monitor that…but, basically…everything looks fine, and I know you don't want to look or hear the heartbeat, but, it would make me feel a lot better if I could…"

"The heartbeat," she said, "you can hear the heartbeat…"

"Yes, if I turn the volume up and that will help me reassure you…"

"Ok…" she said, in spite of her many doubts, hope remained they'd be able to do this together, see their baby for the first time together, "but I still don't want to look…I want to share…I want Derek to be able to see the baby, that first time."

"Let's hear this little one," Dr. Cameron said, and raised the volume(***) on the machine, and soon the sound of new life echoed through the room, and she gasped and marveled at the rapid heartbeat of their baby, and felt joy and heartbreak at the same time. They had been meant to do this together, and then there were only tears of joy as she heard the doctor speak.

"It's so fast…" Meredith whispered in awe.

"Meredith," Dr. Cameron smiled, "it's just perfect…almost eight weeks…and a strong heartbeat…125 beats…"

"That's good…right…"

"Very good…and by nine weeks it will be 140 to 170…"

"The baby's fine," she said, "nothing's wrong…"

"We're going to monitor the cramping…and I don't foresee that it's anything serious, but you'll need to tell me if it gets worse or if there's any spotting…but Meredith," he reassured her, "I've been an obstetrician for a very long time…and I think everything is just fine," he said, and went on to complete a full examination and talked to her about what she could expect over the next several weeks before he saw her again.

Meredith joined Carolyn, and the minute she saw her, tears gathered once again.

"Meredith," Carolyn said as she failed to disguise her concern, "sweetheart, you're crying…what's wrong?"

Meredith took a couple of deep breaths and then a broken sob escaped her, "I'm pregnant…" the tears couldn't be stopped now, "and…our baby's ok…the baby's ok, and the heartbeat is strong…"

"Oh…sweetheart," Carolyn embraced her, "you see…I told you …and grandmothers aren't ever wrong," she kissed her cheek, and then, "wait…you said you heard the baby's heartbeat…honey, isn't it early…you said you could be about four to five weeks along?"

"No," she said, and she wiped away the tears, "I'm not…Dr. Cameron said I'm closer to eight weeks…of course…how they count that is," she explained what he'd told her about fetal vs. gestational age, "and the heartbeat…he said it's very strong," and told her the rest of the conversation with the doctor.

They sat in silence, unlike hours earlier Meredith's fears about her pregnancy and the baby's well being had been put aside. However, as the days went by, the doubts created by Nancy's words would remain, even as the bonds of family and unexpected friendship with Kathleen and Jenna took hold.

Carolyn held Meredith gently in her arms, both shed tears of joy and the ever growing ties that bind warmed the hearts of the two most important women in Derek's life. Two women brought together by fate's design, each filling a need in the other's life. Meredith's void of a mother's nurturing love fulfilled by Carolyn's lifetime of mothering and unconditional loving affection, a relationship and role model Meredith would cherish throughout the rest of her life.

Miranda Bailey walked in Dr. Cameron's the waiting room, and did not see beyond the young woman's tears. "Meredith, what's wrong?"

"Dr. Bailey," she looked up and smiled, "I'm pregnant…almost eight weeks."

"Good God," Miranda said, "Grey…are you trying to give me a heart attack…of course I know you're pregnant."

"But…" Meredith wiped newly found tears, "the baby's ok…everything's ok…I heard the heartbeat …but I didn't look at the screen…"

"Why ever not…" Bailey demanded, and Meredith explained she wanted to wait for Derek to be present. "That man," Bailey shook her head, "he's going to be preening like a peacock…"

"Dr. Bailey," Carolyn joked, "I don't think the description of a peacock applies to my son."

"Are you kidding," Miranda told her, "you haven't been around all that Mcdreamy leaning…and tilting the head with all that perfect overly moussed hair," and all three women laughed.

"Dr. Bailey," Meredith said with deep felt emotion, "thank you…for everything."

"You thank me by taking care of yourself," Miranda huffed, and added before she walked out, "and do what Cameron tells you, no questions asked."

"We should go back to Derek's room, I'm not going to stay long," she said, "since his sisters are there, but I want to know if he woke up."

"I agree you should not stay long," Carolyn said, "but that is so you can go home and get some rest, and I do mean rest, now that you know everything's ok with you and the baby, you should be able to relax, and I'll stay with Derek. But first, we're going to get you something to eat."

"I can't…" Meredith said, as the mere idea of food made her cringe.

"You need to eat Meredith."

"Maybe later…not now…" she said, "I'll eat later."

"Let's go see Derek," Carolyn agreed, "then you and I are going to visit the cafeteria."

Carolyn and Meredith heard the animated voices even before they saw Derek was awake and smiling at something his sister Maggie said, and then he reached for Jenna's hand and she hugged him.

"What a pleasant surprise," Carolyn said, "you decided to wake up…"

"Ma…your daughter's have not shut up…they woke me."

"We did not," Jenna argued, "you were eavesdropping."

"Well," he said, "you find out a lot of information that way…"

"Really," Carolyn said as she reached the bed and kissed his cheek, "do tell…"

"Jenna's pregnant," he said with a smile on his face.

"She is," Carolyn smiled, "you are…" and walked over to her daughter and hugged her.

"Meredith," he called out to her, confused that she'd she remained at the door.

"You should be next," Jenna said, "Derek…you and Meredith."

Derek could not get over that Meredith had not approached him, and knew there was something terribly wrong, he had seen the expression on her face when Jenna had spoken, and he misinterpreted her reaction was a result of not being ready to talk about kids.

"We just got married, it's been several weeks," he said, hoping to reassure Meredith he was willing to wait. But, instead, unaware of the surprise she'd been ready to share with him two nights before, he continued, totally unprepared for the repercussions his words would bring, "don't think we're quite ready for that yet."

"That's the only thing you've said since we got here that makes sense," Nancy said.

"Nancy," Carolyn reprimanded harshly, "that is enough."

"She's right," Meredith said, shocking him and Carolyn with the words that followed. "Derek hasn't decided if he wants children," she paused, trying to get control of her emotions, as each of his words had broken her heart. Never had she imagined he would feel the way he said. It had never crossed her mind he could be unhappy about her recently discovered news, "with me."

Their eyes locked ever so briefly, and he was stunned when he saw the sudden unexpected vulnerability reflected there. Then, after one last penetrating gaze before she turned away, he saw tear filled eyes that no longer sparkled, and all that remained were the dying embers of what had been a flame of hope barely two days before and now reflected the silent agony of despair as it was irrevocably replaced by a wall of impenetrable steel.

_A/N 17OCT09 *** I made assumption here on the transvaginal ultrasound, I know there's "sound" and you can indeed hear the heartbeat very early, but no idea if there's actually a sound button or knob…but for the purpose of the story, there had to be one. Plus…if you recognize couple sentences from SD…I liked them…and think it's ok to "plagiarize" your own ideas/writing. _

_Thanks so much to all of you that will read. Your comments will be very much appreciated. If you absolutely hate it… please, let me know that too, this was not an easy chapter to write, but the end sets the stage for several future scenes._

_Yikes...here to edit a word I'd missed, and see almost 1000 "hits" and and no comments... if you read & really hated it, please let me know that too... thanks, Jasmin_


	8. Chapter 8

_Thanks for reading, I was amazed at how many hits the last chapter seemed to generate. As you read this chapter…note that, oftentimes dialogue pops up that I know has to be part of the story, you will see some of that here, and it was the rest of the story that revolved around it, specifically what Meredith says to Derek and his sisters, for me writing is therapeutic, as it was for Meredith to say so many things that have remained unsaid on Grey's and I only skimmed the surface. Your comments are always so very much appreciated, warm regards, Jasmin._

**Heartbreaking Reverberations - Chapter 8**

Carolyn Shepherd witnessed the unexpected schism between her son and Meredith and acted immediately in an attempt to stop further heartbreaking reverberations.

"Nancy," she turned to her daughter, "please leave."

"Mom," Nancy defied her mother, "I've only pointed out the obvious. Even Derek agrees this is hardly the time for them to be talking about having children."

"Nancy," Carolyn said with an anger tinged tone her children were all too familiar with, "I have just made myself very clear."

"I don't see what the big deal is…" Nancy insisted.

"The big deal," Carolyn said with barely controlled anger, "is that I told you not to come back to this room until you had apologized to Meredith for yesterday's inappropriate behavior, which you obviously have not done, and had my mind not been clouded by seeing your brother awake, I would have asked you to leave the minute we walked in here. Regrettably I did not."

"Mrs. Shepherd," Meredith retreated behind formality as the ever familiar path of avoidance took hold of her emotions, "there's no need, I have to go, she can stay…"

"Meredith," Derek said, his voice sounding tired, as he realized something had gone horribly wrong since he'd last seen her, and was trying not to reflect the anger and annoyance he felt, thought most of all he was deeply hurt by her attitude.

"I have to go," Meredith turned to him, and looked at her watch, "I'm going to be late."

"Meredith," Carolyn Shepherd spoke, as she was not having any part of this ridiculous situation between them. "I think whatever it is can wait for you to spend some time with your husband."

"I'll be back," Meredith, "I really have to go."

"Where do you have to go?" Derek asked, as he became increasingly annoyed with her.

Dr. Bailey," Meredith lied, "she's schedule me in. I asked to work…save the time off for when Derek comes home," and hoped they would believe her, but knew Derek and his mother would not. But, she thought, she would deal with that later, and started to walk away.

"Meredith," Derek said, and she indeed heard the anger in his voice, "do not walk away."

"I have…I need to go…I have a shift…"

"Mom," Derek completely ignored her, "would all you of please give us some time alone."

"Of course dear," Carolyn said, "we'll be back later," she said and they were all about to walk out, when Meredith faced them.

"Jenna," Meredith said, "congratulations again. I'm sorry if we took away from your news, I know you wanted to wait before saying anything."

"Again…" Nancy looked up, "she knew…you told her and didn't tell us."

"I'm sorry," Meredith apologized, "I should not have said anything."

"Of course you can," Jenna said, "you did know…thanks to Kathleen, who can't keep a secret even if she doesn't say a word, and of course she and Maggie just need to look at each other to know what they're thinking," she made a conscious decision to ramble on, "you'd think they were twins, which they are obviously not, since Derek's in the middle."

"Jenna, stop rambling nonsense," Nancy said, "apparently there's a lot of that going around," she said making a reference to an earlier comment about Meredith's rambles.

"Nancy," Kathleen said, "stop being a bitch, you're done enough harm, let's go," and she pulled on her sister's arm and all four sisters walked out of the room.

The dreams and hopes Meredith had allowed to soar barely twenty four hours before, were all wiped away by the thoughtless words of a woman who, ironically, also had Derek's best interest at heart, but detrimental to the obstacles this fated couple had overcome.

Meredith had begun to distance herself from all going on around her almost immediately after Derek has spoken to her in anger, and even though a part of her recognized her emotions were pulling her in every direction, as they were left alone except for his Mother's presence, she became lost in her own private hellish thoughts, almost oblivious to what Carolyn was saying.

"I don't know," Carolyn said, "what has happened between you. But whatever it is," she stated emphatically, "fix it," and before she walked out she told them, "I know you love each other, but what I've just witnessed between you is something I don't recognize, and I'm sorry that Nancy has been responsible for hurting you both, but it's at times like this when communication truly matters…when the commitment you've made to each other becomes meaningful or not."

The silence in the small room was deafening. Neither did anything to take the much needed first step, while Meredith had become completely engulfed by thoughts best described as dark and twisty.

Two mornings ago, she thought, her day had begun filled with wonderful expectations and looking forward to Derek's reaction when she told him she was pregnant. She, Meredith Grey, felt joy and hope in her heart that together they would do this right, that together they were indeed extraordinary, and that love of legends some had mentioned was about to become a family of three.

Yesterday, her day had begun filled with fear that the only man she'd ever loved, her soul mate, may not live long enough to spend the rest of their life together.

Today, the day had dawned filled with painful doubts; about Derek's lack of desire to make a true commitment, his avoidance of a real marriage; her concern over the health of the baby he knew nothing about, and then she'd heard the heartbeat and she'd known unequaled joy and looked forward to the moment they could share the first time they saw their unborn child, a tiny surprising miracle of love.

Today, she thought as she watched his mother walk out, a day that should have been extraordinary, was making feel ordinary again, and possibly the best day of her life would also become the worst.

She loved Derek, of that there were no doubts, and she was already in love with the tiny baby whose heart she'd heard beating rapidly and marveled at the pure moment of happiness she'd experienced. But, when he'd agreed with Nancy, the long night's worth of doubts, doubts over every single time he'd turned away from her had been opened like a flood gate, the proverbial dam, overflowing with painful memories.

The minutes ticked by as in slow motion, and finally their eyes met; neither chose to remember the last time they'd been happy together, but instead dormant insecurities gave way to a sense of mutual emotional abandonment.

Derek finally broke the silence. "Meredith," his voice was hoarse, a combination of the surgery and emotions lodged in his throat, "what's going on?"

"Nothing," she said averting his gaze, "you're going to be ok."

"Don't do that," he said, his tone angrier than intended, "something's obviously upset you and you and I promised…"

"Promises," she said absently, "are often broken, as we both know," and he had no doubts she was referring to him, to the promise to always show up, and he hadn't.

"Meredith," he pleaded, "don't do this, please talk to me…please…I want to understand what's wrong…"

"It's nothing," she attempted to keep from crying, cursing the tears she was unable to stop, while understanding it was more than likely due to those hormone induced emotions every pregnant woman spoke about, "everything's fine Derek, I'm just tired, it's been a long couple of days."

"Don't give me that fine crap," he told her, "and look at me damn it…look at me."

She did, and his eyes locked with hers and he saw the all too frequent wall of avoidance, and knew there was nothing he could say to get through to her.

"I think," she said finally, "your sister is right, that you obviously have some serious doubts about a future with me," if she'd stopped to think, which she did briefly, she'd realize the irrational pattern of her thoughts as the words flowed, seemingly unstoppable.

"Meredith," he interrupted her.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking," she continued, "all night long in fact…I could do nothing but think…about every time you've turned away from me."

"Why are you doing this," he said, "Meredith…we've been happy, we've worked so many things…we're married…"

"Don't," she said emphatically, "don't…we would have been married…and you chose not to…you …I wanted to go to City Hall…but you didn't need that…you were ok with a post it note…and it's ok…it is, but…now that your family knows we're not married, I think your sister is right…and," she paused as her throat threatened to close, "I'm giving you an out…"

"Meredith," he said, stunned by what she was saying, "I don't want an out…and we both…both of us agreed…"

"We did," she said, "I agreed…but, it makes sense Derek, and they know you better than I do…years of family…and me…just…that slutty intern" she said not understanding herself where all these irrational thoughts and insecurities were coming from and pouring out of her.

"Meredith," he pleaded, "Mer…please…don't do this …don't do this to us…"

"I'm," she paused, and blinked away tears that threatened to spill, "doing it for us," she smiled sadly at him, "so we don't spend the rest of our lives wondering…"

"I'm not wondering," he told her, "Meredith, I've never been more sure of anything in my life…of you being my wife…of spending the rest of my life with you, Meredith…"

"You may not be wondering now," she said, "after the accident…but you did, Derek…think about it…you've wondered about us…had plenty of doubts about us, almost since the beginning…almost since the first time I told you I loved you…"

"Why are you doing this, Meredith, this is coming out of nowhere…we were going out do dinner…I was going to…" he stopped, realizing it was not the moment…it was not how he wanted to share his surprise with her. "Why are you dwelling on all of this?"

"Do you think I want to remember…dwell on this as you say…I'd rather do anything but that, but all night long…my brain couldn't stop thinking…"

"About what," he said, his tone softer and gentler than before, "talk to me please…"

"Your doubts…" she told him, "and how on some level they're still there…and I get it…I do, I understand."

"I have no doubts, Meredith…I have no doubts…"

"But you did," she spoke quietly, "almost since the beginning," and she began to speak softly, a litany of words, each emphasizing his shame more than the one before. "I told you I loved you and you chose Addison, and then, even your sisters seemed to have known what you thought of me; there was no need to spell out the word. "I believe you love me, but even you thought it wasn't enough…not to want to breathe for me…or wait for me, and I understood…I did, I wasn't ready …so you turned to Rose when you thought I couldn't give you what you wanted. Then," she paused and she looked in his eyes, "you batted the ring away…" he felt as though he'd been slapped, "maybe…your doubts have always been there…"

"You must hate me," he said, as he held back a sob, unable to excuse any of what she said, "you must hate me so much…to do this now…to tell me you're giving me an out."

"I don't," she said, and her tears now spilled freely, and she walked up to him and cupped his face, and leaned in to kiss him, as both their tears mingled on their lips, "I don't…I love you so much…what I can't bear is the thought that now…when you have a chance to think about what you want…I can't bear the thought that you have doubts and will stay with me…I can't live my life like that Derek…I can't…because I get it…I do…I can see why you'd have doubts about being tied down…to someone like me…"

"I love you," he said, "I have no doubts, no doubts at all…Meredith…and the other night…"

"I know…" she said and looked at him, and he saw in her eyes sad resignation, "but…I want you to really think about what it means…a lifetime with me, the crappy genes…Alzheimer's, because I do understand, why you would be reconsidering…having children…"

"I never said that…I have never thought that…"

"Now you can," she told him, "you can take the time you need…and really decide what you want…and I'll wait, I can wait for you to decide."

"I don't need time…I don't have to decide, I've already decided what I want…"

"Derek," she said, and she didn't care that he was seeing her cry, so she wiped the tears away, "I'll understand if you've changed your mind…because, that night…at the trailer, you told me I was a lemon…that I couldn't be fixed, and maybe you're right."

"Meredith," he pulled tightly on her hand, "I love you," his eyes glistened with his own unshet tears, "I don't understand where all of this is coming from…I've apologized, you said you forgave me…we've been happy…if this accident hadn't happened, you wouldn't be saying any of these things…Meredith…that night…I swear that night my surprise…you'll see what I…"

"No," she said, and placed her index finger on his lips, "don't say anything…please…not now…think about what I said…and be sure of what you want, because you were ok without a legal marriage…and so was I…but I had no doubts Derek that I wanted to be married to you, but for you…you have traditions, you stayed with Addison out of a sense of responsibility…you believe in that…and yet with me," she looked at him with such overwhelming sadness and vulnerability he didn't feel worthy of her, "none of that was important to you, so please take your time…I'm not going anywhere…I'll wait for you to decide, and I won't be looking for someone else to come along," and as she said that, her gaze did not waver, and for the first time he saw the reproach and knew deep shame at the way he'd acted, the way he'd treated her…the way he'd turned away from her and before the night was out asked Rose out on a date, and wondered how she had ever forgiven him.

"I'm going to go now," she said, "you can tell me later…when you've had time…whatever you decide."

He knew he needed to get through to her, but that he wouldn't and part of him thought there would be plenty of time for them, that he would not push her; he had no idea what the hell had happened while he'd been laid up in the hospital but he'd get to the bottom of it, because he was certain it had to be more than just what Nancy had said, and whether she was thinking clearly now or not, he knew they had a lifetime. What he didn't realize was that his avoidance in confronting this situation head on would only fuel the path to more heartbreaking reverberations originally sparked by his sister's words.

Meredith hesitated briefly, her heart longing to be wrong, longing for his embrace, longing for him to hold her and not let her go; to tell her he loved her and had no doubts that she was the woman he loved, his soul mate and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, that he wasn't going to let her walk out of that room without making sure she agreed to that lifetime he'd asked for long ago, and for which she'd finally, after years of avoidance confronted her issues in therapy; got whole and healed, and with those last thoughts in mind she felt a broken sob rise to her throat, and as his silence continued; then conditioned to years of abandonment and feelings of rejection she reacted instinctively, and before she even realized it was walking away.

Derek was shocked. She'd walked out. He watched through the glass partition incredulously, as she walked slowly at first, then brought her hand to cover her mouth and hurriedly walked away.

Derek rang for the nurse and demanded to get out of bed, determined to go after Meredith, but his requests were met by deaf ears, and just as he was ready to once again raise his voice to give orders Miranda Bailey stood by his bed.

"What do you think this is? I could hear you all the way down the hall."

"I need to find Meredith," he said.

"I'm not aware she was lost," Bailey told him.

"Miranda," he spoke harshly, "I'm in no mood for jokes."

"Neither am I."

"You either get me a chair or I will…"

"Shepherd," she said in her typical straightforward approach, "you will get out of that bed when your doctor says you're ready and not one minute before, which I expect it will be this morning…but…"

"Miranda," Derek warned, "I need to find my wife."

"Ok," Miranda put her hand out in front of her, "that," she emphasized, "has got to stop…she is not your wife, so stop calling her that," her voice slightly louder.

"She is my wife in every way that counts, and if she'd let me finish telling her…"

"Derek," Miranda said, "stop…she is not your wife, and on top of everything else you've put her through these last two years, because you are the one that was married and didn't tell her, now you've also humiliated her…"

"I have not humiliated her," he argued, "she knows how I feel about her…"

"Does she now?" Miranda Bailey challenged. "And have you been around to hear the snickers of people making fun of a blue post it wedding, and how long it will stick"

"She knows I love her…she's my wife…Miranda…and that night, what we wrote…we were both in agreement…and why are people making fun…"

"Derek…you are doing around calling her your wife, she is not. Why did she practically run out of here?"

"We had a misunderstanding…Miranda, she has all these doubts…she thinks I do…"

"Oh great…now we'll have to watch both of you at the same time… what is it you say…being dark and twisty…" Miranda snickered.

"Dr. Bailey," Derek warned, "mocking us is not becoming."

"Neither is brooding and being childish," she replied.

"Miranda," Derek closed his eyes and leaned back into the pillows, "I don't know what's wrong, what to do…what's happened, the last time Meredith and I spoke, we were on the phone, I was on my way to pick her up…we were going out to dinner…then I'm here on my way to surgery, and I wake up…to hear that my wife …yes, she is my wife, has passed out…and now…now …I don't know what the hell's wrong…we've got through so much…and it feels as though we haven't worked through any of our problems…and she's so upset and talking about me having doubts…I have no doubts Miranda none. She came in here, and after not spending any time together she spent the last fifteen minutes rehashing every painful thing I've ever done…and she was nice about it…while I've never felt more ashamed of what I'd put her through…and still she forgave me."

"Derek," Miranda said, "I'm sorry…but…I think it's understandable, under the circumstances."

"What circumstances," he raised his voice in frustration, "that's just what I don't get."

"Will you trust me that I'm sure you'll work it out? But have patience with her, she's had a very emotional few days, on top of the last few months …and she hasn't been eating or sleeping all that well."

"Miranda she fainted, is there something else wrong with her?"

"Trust me, she's fine…I personally ran all her tests."

"Look Derek, it's been very emotional months for all of us, especially for her, giver her a few days…she lost George and Izzie's got a death sentence over her…and then your accident, Derek what has affected her the most is the possibility of losing you ."

"She has a funny way of showing it," he actually pouted.

I get it now," she scowled, "the jacksass and brainless comments about you…"

"Miranda…"

"You want my advice?"

"I'm going to get it regardless," he said.

"Keep that sister of yours away from Meredith…she doesn't need any more insecurities being fed…she's irrational enough as it is…so she's feeding herself quite well with that…so keep that woman…which by the way …someone should tell her to get that stick out of her ass…and she better stay out of Meredith's way or she's going to have me to deal with."

Derek actually laughed, 'I think you're going to have to get in line…my mother and my other sisters are not too happy with her…and that's after I get finished with her."

"Derek," Miranda smiled, "trust me…just be patient with her…let her work out …she loves you and that's not going to change."

"You sound so sure…but today…she…"

"I am sure…"

"You're a good friend Miranda."

"So are you Derek," she said, "give her just a little time."

"She's ok?" he asked again, concerned for her.

"She is," she smiled, "and you know…"

"Yes," he said, "Dr. Bailey knows…everything…"

"Smartass," she chuckled as she walked out the door; God, she thought and smiled, these two could be exhausting, but she was going to love seeing the permanent look of happiness on Derek's face when he found out he was going to be a father. Even more so she was happy he'd be the one to deal with Meredith Grey's irrational and hormonal swings, because from what he said, they were in full swing already.

Meredith had indeed rushed through the hall to the nearest bathroom, and unknowingly had been followed by his sister Jenna, who waited for her when she came out looking pale and upset, and walked to her side and guided her to a quiet sitting area, a small room used typically by families waiting for their loved ones while in surgery.

"Meredith," Jenna said softly, "are you all right?"

"Yes," she took a deep breath, "I'm fine."

Jenna sat next to her on the small love seat, "yes, we know about your fine. Have you had anything to eat? We don't want you to pass out again…for not eating…Kathleen and I were going to get you something to eat…but then we saw how upset you were this morning, so we just walked in the room…"

"I'm fine…really…" she said, and Jenna recognized the familiar attempt to overcome nausea as Meredith closed her eyes briefly.

"You know Meredith," she said softly, "I can be a very good listener," she looked at her intently, forcing her to meet her gaze, "and I know what you're feeling…I do…"

"What …what do you mean…" Meredith said.

"You know," Jenna smiled, "that I'm feeling the very same things lately…except…"

"Except…" Meredith repeated.

"I think you may be a few weeks further along than I am…"

"You know," Meredith accepted.

"I do…" she smiled and reached for her sister in law's hand. "Amazing…isn't it?"

Meredith pursed her lips in an attempt to control her emotions, "your Mom knows," she admitted, suddenly wanting to acknowledge their baby, wishing it could be him she was telling, "it was my surprise…that night…and he doesn't even know…and instead he doesn't want kids now…"

"Meredith," Jenna soothed, "don't do this… I know my brother…and if he knew you were pregnant…he would be the happiest man…"

"Your heard him…he agreed with your sister…he doesn't want kids now…he doesn't think we're ready…it's too soon…"

"Listen to me," Jenna said, "I certainly know and understand hormones and all the irrationality that comes with it…but…"

"I'm not irrational," Meredith said, in exactly that tone, "you heard what he said…he agreed…"

Jenna laughed, "but you are…believe me…it's going to get worse…"

"Jenna," Meredith said a hint of a smile on her lips, "I don't think I like you," and that was what Carolyn Shepherd and Kathleen heard as they walked in the small room after what they'd deemed enough time has passed since Jenna had gone to talk to Meredith.

"Is something wrong?" Carolyn asked.

"Yes," Jenna said, "your new daughter in law is stubborn as a mule."

"Jenna," Kathleen reprimanded the youngest sister, "that's not very nice."

"I think she'll agree," Jenna said as she caught Meredith's smile.

Kathleen watched the exchange and met her mother's gaze and raised an eyebrow inquisitively, while Carolyn just shrugged and glanced over at Meredith and smiled.

"You're pregnant," Kathleen said, "I should have known…you and Jenna…"

"I'm…what makes you say that," Meredith replied.

Kathleen laughed, "if I had any doubts, your answer just gave you away, combined with Mom's indulgent look…and you telling Jenna you don't like her…and both of you smiled."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jenna said, "I can only vouch for me being pregnant as your niece is making her presence felt with morning sickness."

"Meredith," Kathleen said, "are you pregnant? That would explain…you spent all night crying…I couldn't figure out what was going on…but hormones…and Nancy…and Derek's surgery…deadly combination."

Meredith had to laugh, "I'm sorry…but…you are all relentless…"

"It's a Shepherd family trait," Kathleen told her, "get used to it."

"I'm not…"

"Meredith," Carolyn said, "you're part of this family, and I don't want to hear anything more over this…married or not…you are part of this family now."

"Oh my God," Kathleen said, "Derek has no clue…and what he said, Meredith, you fainted…it wasn't because you hadn't eaten…I won't say anything…we won't…"

"Derek has made it clear…he does not think we're ready for children."

"Oh but that is a bunch of bull," Kathleen said, "and I saw him, I was there when he was beside himself that something was wrong with you and I know my brother, of course he wants kids with you. I saw him, the way he looked at you, what he said to you, Meredith I'm sure he was only trying to make things easier for you…take the pressure off…when this busybody," she pointed to Jenna, " started talking about kids, just because she's pregnant doesn't mean everyone wants to be…"

"Kathleen," Jenna said, "I had nothing to do with …"

Carolyn interrupted, "sweetheart you don't believe that…Derek …" she paused, since Meredith had not really admitted to Kathleen that she was indeed pregnant.

"Carolyn," Meredith said, grateful to her for the discretion, "Derek was very clear in what he said."

"I think," Carolyn said, "the two of you need to talk…until you figure a way to communicate with one another, because clearly you have not, or we'd not be having this conversation."

"Meredith," Kathleen said, "are you pregnant or not?"

"Doctor patient confidentiality?" Meredith said.

"Are you coming to me for therapy?" Kathleen responded.

"Are all of you Shepherds such smart asses?" Meredith said and was horrified when she realized it, "Carolyn I'm sorry."

"It's all right dear," Carolyn said, "and the answer is no, Maloney's are much more so."

All of them laughed, the mood momentarily lighter, as Jenna added, "some are downright bitchy…well one of them is."

"I'm Derek's favorite sister," Kathleen said, "though Jenna thinks she is," she teased, "and I'm trained to keep secrets…"

"Derek doesn't know," Meredith said, inexplicably accepting that she could trust these women, "and I don't want him to know until I'm ready to tell him."

"You're pregnant," Kathleen said, "you really are…" and she got emotional as did her mother and sister as they watched her approach Meredith and hug her, "my baby brother is going to be a father…"

"Please don't say anything," Meredith said, "I need to wait…"

"I won't say anything," Kathleen agreed, "but Meredith…this should be such a happy moment for you…and yet…"

"I was going to tell him," Meredith said, "the night of the accident."

"So…" Kathleen said, "why don't you tell him now…"

Meredith took a deep breath, "I want to tell him…and I will…but," she paused again and carefully thought of what she was about to reveal to total strangers, all three women inspiring innate trust. "I spent my entire life knowing my mother didn't want me…and then, the few times she was lucid, I believe you know she had Alzheimer's, she told me what a disappointment I had been… I won't…I refuse to let that happen to my child…"

"Meredith," Carolyn said, rather amazed at the way she'd jumped to a very serious matter to her, "Derek would never feel that way…"

"I'm not sure…what he would feel anymore, and Derek may not want my crappy genes, but it's too late now…and this baby…no matter his doubts now… this baby was conceived in love…because that's what there's been between us always…even if that's not enough for him to want to marry me…I won't be in a relationship that's filled with doubts, and have our child feel like I did…I know what it's like to be raised by a mother alone…and I know how I won't raise my child, but my baby…is never going to know Derek had doubts…"

Oh sweetheart," Carolyn said, "you can't believe he's going t be anything but thrilled."

"He said it…he made it very clear…we were not ready for children."

"Meredith," Carolyn said in an unmistaken motherly tone, "you are going to talk to my son…and straighten this out…"

"I …I told him…he needed to think," she shocked even herself as she recounted the conversation with Derek, and at one point she realized how revealing she had been, how many confidences she was sharing, and almost laughed at what would surely become a joke between her friends. "I told him, to take time to make sure…so he has no doubts."

"God help me," Carolyn said, "two of you pregnant at the same time…irrationality and emotional rollercoaster and then a brooding hovering Derek. Kathleen, can you prescribe valium…"

"Mom," Kathleen said, "they're pregnant…they can't…"

"Not for them," Carolyn said, "for me."

"Not nice," Meredith and Jenna said simultaneously, "not nice at all."

"Mom," Kathleen said, "look at the bright side…"

"Yes dear?" Carolyn said.

"You'll get to split your time between two coasts…" Kathleen laughed, "and welcome two babies a couple months apart."

"Three weeks," Carolyn said smiling, "only three weeks apart."

"Wait," Jenna said, "how do you know that?"

"Mom," Kathleen smiled, "you knew…that Meredith was pregnant?"

"Didn't you know Jenna was pregnant?" Carolyn asked.

"I just found out this morning…" Kathleen said.

"Girls, she fainted, she's been overly emotional…and a bit irrational…I've been through it five times…I guessed that morning…"

"I'm not irrational…" Meredith argued, "Derek's had surgery twice and of course I'm emotional…we didn't know how he was… but…he's…he's the one with doubts."

"Sweetheart," Carolyn said as she sat in between Jenna and Meredith on the love seat, "you are, and you ramble too…and it's only the beginning," she said and hugged her.

Meredith allowed Carolyn Shepherd to hug her, something she was getting used to, as Carolyn's comforting motherly embrace soothed the gentle and compassionate soul of the woman her son loved. "I'm sure you did not have anything to eat after your doctor's appointment," Carolyn said, "and I'm not accepting any more excuses…you have to eat, you too Jenna, let's go," she said and lead the way to the cafeteria, and in the moments that followed lasting bonds of friendship were forged.

Unbeknownst to the group of four women, a very different scenario had begun to unfold between Derek and Nancy; a rift that could affect the Shepherd family for decades.

_A/N - There were some questions on other site about Mer's pregnancy, and in this story it will be fine, but the only way for her to hear the heartbeat so early was with the T/V ultrasound, and I really wanted her to hear the baby's heartbeat. _


	9. Chapter 9

_Dear readers…I was floored by the number of hits to this story the last two chapters, and as those of you that left a comment know, a bit affected by a very negative anonymous comment…but, I believe in the story I set out to tell and will continue the course intended till its conclusion. This chapter, however, was totally unexpected…and not part of the original story. To each of you that commented on Ch 8 and offered such inspiring word, though I've done so individually already, thank you, again!_

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 9**

"Meredith," Jenna smiled as they sat in the cafeteria and watched Meredith look longingly at the cup of coffee Kathleen was drinking, "I get the feeling you're not happy about giving up coffee."

"Maybe it's ok to drink decaf," Meredith mumbled, "I don't know…"

"Actually," Kathleen said, "some research, several in fact, find it's not good for the mom, the risk of heart disease increases, due to higher fatty acids linked to bad cholesterol, as well as miscarriage, so if you're going to drink…regular coffee may be better, and one cup is not going to make a difference."

"I'm not taking any chances," Meredith replied immediately, "I can wait…"

"You can have hot chocolate," Carolyn smiled, and started to rise from her seat, "in fact…since I already know it's one of your early cravings, why don't I get you some?"

"You don't have to do that," Meredith said, "I can go…"

"You can stay where you are," Carolyn said, "and practice small talk…with your sisters in law."

"She's very bossy," Kathleen said, "you have to get used to it…"

"That's what Derek tells me," Meredith said with a hint of sadness.

"Meredith," Kathleen said, "I don't know what's wrong…what's happened between you, but I can see you're both hurting…can't you talk to him…tell him what you're feeling?"

"I did," Meredith told her, "he knows now."

"Can we help?" Jenna asked.

"No," Meredith said, "Derek needs to time to think."

"Did he tell you that?" Kathleen asked her, the psychiatrist never far away.

"No, I asked him," Meredith replied, "to take his time."

"Why are you doing this?" Kathleen asked her. "You know he loves you, you said as much."

"I already told you," Meredith said, "I don't want him to have doubts…"

"But, Meredith," Kathleen insisted.

"Kathleen," Jenna interrupted her. "Leave her alone…and for God's sake…you know why she's doing this…"

"Really…" Kathleen challenged her; amused by what she anticipated would be another hormone induced Janna rant.

"Of course…Kathleen, you're not dense, and you've been pregnant enough times, in addition to the rest of us, to recognize the symptoms, she's clearly irrational and not thinking straight, thanks to all these hormones that have multiplied in our bodies overnight…"

"I'm not being irrational," Meredith argued, "you have no idea…"

"Oh, please…" Jenna dismissed whatever she was going to say just in time for Carolyn to reach their table and place a cup of hot chocolate in front of both Meredith and Jenna, "of course you are, take my word for it, not only is it going to get worse like we already told you, but if you were not pregnant, there's no chance in hell you'd be acting the way you are, because that is just plain stupid…"

"Jenna," Carolyn said, "that's enough."

"Mom, I'm pregnant and I know what she's feeling right now… and she knows I'm right. She told us she was going to tell him the night of the accident, so this does not make any sense. Nothing has changed about how they feel about each other," she finished and her mother and sister exchanged glances, they knew what would come next; the tears.

"Please," Meredith said to Jenna, tears gathering in her own eyes, "please…don't get upset…it's ok…really…"

"No," Jenna said, and Carolyn and Kathleen weren't quite as sure if the tears were real; they were. "It's not ok…we haven't seen my brother in over two years, and for the last forty eight hours we've gone through every possible emotion, flying across the country not knowing if when we got here he'd be dead, and then he was ok, and first he's married, then he's not…and now…he's going to be a father and he doesn't know…and you don't want to tell him, and I do understand, not completely…but some… how Nancy's bitchiness could have made you feel the way you do…but what I don't understand is that you say you love him…and that you know he loves you, but that it isn't always enough. Meredith…it is enough…it's more than enough."

"Jenna," Meredith said quietly, she had listened to everything she'd said, and it did it made sense. "There's a lot…many things we've gone through…that you don't…you don't know…and I want to give him that time…I need to…so he's sure.."

"He loves you Meredith and you've said you love him…look at how short life is…how all of it could have been taken from you in a moment's time…talk to him…"

"I did…" Meredith said, getting more emotional and upset, "I talked to him…he needs to decide what he wants…"

"He already knows," Jenna told her emphatically, but sympathetic at the same time.

"I hope so," Meredith said, "I do hope so…"

"And," Jenna said and sniffled, "just so I can get it all out of my system…you didn't even invite us to your wedding…"

Carolyn and Kathleen exchanged smiles, even though they knew Jenna's tears and emotional outburst had been real, she had now also said what they'd been dying to say about that original wedding.

Meredith looked at Jenna, somewhat at a loss for words, "but, Jenna…we didn't have a wedding…"

"That's not true," Jenna told her, "you had a wedding planned, and don't try to deny it, even though Mark told us how you gave it away…which is generous and lovely and all of that, but before you knew that was going to happen, Derek didn't even invite us to the wedding…so don't tell me it's all ok…when you didn't even want us to be part of his life…"

"That's not true," Meredith said, quit certain she wanted to kill Derek for all that had transpired leading up to their non-wedding, "we wanted you here…we did, but we had to change the date, my friend was dying, we changed the date…it was last minute."

"You don't think you could have told us…called Mom and told her…she gave Derek her ring for you…Meredith…"

"Jenna," Carolyn said, and lay her hand on her arm, "that's enough…it's in the past."

"It's not Mom," Jenna said, "that hurt you…and you won't say anything…but it's time someone did…you took your engagement ring off for the first time since Dad died and gave it to Derek, and they didn't even call you to say they were getting married…"

"Jenna," Kathleen said, "I know you're pregnant, but that doesn't mean you can bend the truth to your liking…you know he called to tell Mom he'd proposed and told her about the wedding and we got the invitations…"

"Wait," Meredith said, "you just made all that up? You put me through all of this guilt…and you knew Derek had called…"

"I just wanted you to realize what hormones…" Jenna met Meredith's incredulous stare, "will do to your rationale…it kills it…completely."

"You," Meredith repeated, "just put me through hell…to prove a point…"

"Yes," Jenna said, "but all I said is true and nobody wants to tell you and Derek how upset we were not to be here for that day, even if you gave it away, and I hope it will bring you to your senses," she added in a firm tone, "and have you go talk to my brother and fix this…" and then she softened and once again reached out for her hand, "and please…tell him he's going to be a dad…Meredith…he's going to be so happy…don't make him wait...if this accident had not happened…you would have already told him, you wouldn't be having these doubts…"

"I'm not going to make him wait forever…a couple of days…that's all…so …he's sure…that he wants …" Meredith said quietly, not quite as certain of her reasons for staying away, but determined still he needed to want that lifetime commitment before he found out she was pregnant.

"Meredith…" Jenna said, "Derek loves you…and you love him…don't punish him for what Nancy said."

"I'm not…you think that's what I'm doing…" Meredith asked her and got emotional.

"Ok," Carolyn said, "girls, enough of this…neither of you is rational at this point, and don't look at me that way," she said referring to the glaring glances.

Jenna ignored her mother. "You're having a baby…a baby Meredith that you already love," she said and wiped a tear away and reached over again and placed a hand over Meredith's, "I know you do."

"Of course I do," Meredith agreed, and gently squeezed her hand, "and the baby's ok…the heartbeat's strong…and Dr. Cameron said there's nothing wrong, that I don't have to worry, even though he does want to monitor what's been happening with…" Meredith briefly wondered if she was headed toward the same teary eyed sentimental journey Jenna had displayed in just a few minutes time.

"You've been to the doctor," Jenna said, "heard the heartbeat…do you have a sonogram?"

"I did…and it was the most beautiful amazing sound."

Kathleen and Carolyn were almost always in tune with one another, and neither wanted to interrupt the bonding that was indeed taking place between these two women, the sister and the wife their brother undoubtedly loved, but the difference was that Carolyn already had answers.

"Meredith," Kathleen said softly, "you said he wants to monitor what's been happening…what's going on…you said you're ok…heartbeat's good."

"I'm ok now…well there was still some cramping this morning, but he said it should be fine…and Dr. Bailey and your Mom said it can happen…"

"Mom," Kathleen turned to her, "you knew this was going on and didn't say anything."

"Kathleen it was not up to me to say anything…she needs to tell Derek first, and the Doctor wants to monitor any further symptoms…but you both know, it's not unusual to have some cramping, he's being cautious, as he should be…since it's into her eight… "

"Meredith," Jenna said softly, the bond between these two women clearly established, as early as the moment they'd exchanged in Derek's room, "you're eight weeks along…and you heard the heartbeat…"

Meredith went on to explain to his sisters the symptoms she'd had, and the concerns she'd shared and subsequent conversation with the doctor.

"That makes sense," Kathleen said, "he'd want to do an ultrasound right away…but it sounds like you're going to be fine…it's too bad we can't talk to Nancy, that's her expertise..."

"Please," Meredith jumped right in , "please don't tell her…don't say anything else, no matter what happens…what decision Derek makes…he needs to know first…no one else can know…please…don't say anything."

"Sweetheart," Carolyn reached over and held her hand in both of hers, "we will not say anything to anyone else. Not until you're ready."

"Thank you," Meredith told her, the emotions reflected in her eyes needing no further words to convince these three women, to whom she had entrusted her most intimate and unexpected secret, that they would indeed keep their silence.

A somewhat similar, yet more intense conversation was taking place in Derek's room; one with potentially more damaging emotional consequences for the family.

"Let's go back," Carolyn said, "I think it will be good for Derek to see all of us…and then," she looked at Meredith, "maybe the two of you can spend some time together, even if you don't talk…you can just be there…but," she said in a tone that would accept no challenge, "not for long, because after that, you are going home to get some sleep."

"Carolyn," Meredith started to say and was interrupted

"Meredith, I'm not accepting anything else, and I'm going to come with you to make sure you get some rest and have a home cooked meal…and we start taking care of you and my grandchild."

"Carolyn…"

"No other options…" Carolyn Shepherd said emphatically.

"Mom," Jenna said, "you shouldn't be such a bully…she's not one of the kids…"

"Carolyn," Meredith chimed in, "I was going to say…Jenna should get some rest too…that she should come home with us…"

"Yes," Carolyn said after a few seconds, she'd been surprisingly caught off guard, "that's a very good idea indeed."

"Meredith," Kathleen said, "whatever you need…you know…you have a built in support system…" and she smiled, "nobody knows about pregnancies better than we do…just pick up the phone and call us, but remember that Jenna…she has the most experience with crying and rants…and has probably perfected getting her way…to a science."

Inexplicably, Meredith would reflect in the years ahead, within hours of sharing the news of her first pregnancy with Jenna and Kathleen, instinctively knowing she could trust them and Carolyn explicitly, deep familial bonds were born.

They could hear the anger in the raised voices filtering to the hallway as they approached Derek's room, and Meredith rushed to stop him from continuing.

"You want to know why," he was yelling at Nancy, "even though it isn't any of your business…why it is she may feel the way she did…and does… why…after I insulted her and I took that ring and…"

"Derek," Meredith walked in interrupting him, "don't…"

He was silent as he composed himself, the sharp intake of breath heard by everyone in the room, including his mother, sisters and Mark.

"I'm not going to let her continue to stand here and," he paused, measured his words to avoid further hurting Meredith, "she should know why you have doubts…why you believe I have them…which I don't…how my actions demeaned everything…how I took that symbol and…."

"Don't," Meredith locked gazes with him, eyes shimmering with tears, knowing he was going to mention taking the bat, "please…don't say anything else…not now," she pleaded, "do it for me…please…don't say anything else…" and he understood her request as she glanced at his mother, and the depth of the love he'd felt for her, what he thought would not be surpassed, became immeasurable, as she stood in front of him, her own fears and pain reflected in her eyes, and tried to keep him from uttering words that would break his mother's heart, "not now…"

"I don't care," he said, "we don't have anymore time…"

"Derek…" Meredith said, afraid of what he was going to say, "we have time…"

"We have no more time to waste. I don't want more misunderstandings…and this is the only way to clear things up…"

"No," Meredith shook her head, "not this way," and then, unexpectedly she took a page out of Jenna's book and effectively ended the possibility he'd continue and say things that would only hurt his mother's feelings, and she knew, without any doubts whatsoever that she did not want Carolyn to hear what he had to say.

"Meredith…" Derek ignored her, "I won't have her continue to talk about…"

"Carolyn," Meredith turned to his mother for support, and whispered to her, though loud enough for him to hear, "I'm not feeling very well, would you come with me…"

"What…" Derek said, "what's wrong…Meredith…" and he failed to see the almost invisible smile shared with Jenna and Kathleen as she turned and Carolyn Shepherd led her away.

"Meredith," his mother said as they walked toward an unknown destination. "You better have a damn good explanation for what you just did."

"Jenna's right," she said, "being irrational gets worse."

"Meredith," his mother warned, "the last thing you want…is to be like pregnant Jenna, and it wasn't a very nice thing to do to Derek…he's frantic."

"Carolyn," she turned to her, "isn't there a saying…or something…about justifying the ways to the end …"

Carolyn chuckled, "you mean, the ends justify the means._"_

"That's it," Meredith said. "I can never get those straight."

"You better get it straight…young lady, and tell me what that was all about."

"I'm pregnant Carolyn," she said, her words sounding foreign to her ears, even more so that she was indeed behaving completely out of character; talking, communicating with family…his family…and feeling it was the right thing to do, "you're not supposed to add undue stress…just ask Jenna."

Unexpectedly, Meredith would discover, emotional irrational hormonal induced havoc could also find rationale that brought understanding and healing between two opposing factions, as before another twenty four hours elapsed, Meredith and Nancy would embark on a road of new and lasting understanding.

_A/N 31OCT – This chapter, as I mentioned was not something I expected to include in this story, most of it anyway. However, I think, there may be a problem with FF in the recording of hits, and I do like to know if anyone is reading. So, I started writing last night and I'm posting it now to see if there's a problem with FF. Either way, I will continue to write the rest of the story. Chapter 9 was supposed to pick up with the scene between Derek and Nancy, instead you got a whole lot of family bonding I had not intended to write, but loved being able to have someone in his family say all that to her... I never ever understood how they could plan a wedding without including his family! Anyway, Ch 10 will begin there. The end of this chapter, from the moment Meredith interrupted Derek and walked out with Carolyn was always part of the story. Thanks again for your patience with this story…I hope you will not be disappointed in the chapters that follow._


	10. Chapter 10

_A very special thanks to T…for her unwavering and steadfast support of Meredith Grey! _

_Thanks to all of you for reading and your continued interest in this story. FF readers, thank you so very much, this was the chapter with the most number of comments, I'll respond to them later this week, yet the least number of readers…so will go with the adage of quality…not quantity! Hope you are not disappointed as the story begins to shift from heartbreak… Warm regards, Jasmin_

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 10 **

Derek's four sisters watched Meredith lean on their mother for support, and Carolyn placed an arm around her waist and walked out of the room.

"Mark," Derek turned to his friend, "please…go and see what's wrong with her."

"She's with your mother, I'm sure she's fine," Mark said, "now you on the other hand," he looked over to the monitor he was still attached too, "need to calm down."

"Calm down," Derek shouted, "how am I supposed to calm down when my wife faints for no good reason at all, which was apparently due to not eating or drinking enough liquids, and now she walks out of here with my mother because she's not feeling well…so maybe that's not the reason at all…and Bailey said they ran tests and I have no idea what they showed, so how the hell am I supposed to be calm…"

"Derek," Nancy spoke up, concerned by the outburst undoubtedly affecting his vitals. "Mark is right. You need to calm down…"

"Calm down…" he repeated, his voice now a deadly sounding tone, "you…you are responsible for all of this, the misunderstandings…the things you've said to her that made her doubt me…"

"You are not going to put this on me," Nancy told him, "if she has doubts it's her own insecurities, and I'm not responsible for you having a relationship that is weak at best…and makes a mockery of marriage…and more suited for ten year olds playing house."

"Nancy," Kathleen told her, "that is enough, Mom may not be here, but if you don't stop it…"

"What is wrong with all of you," Nancy insisted, "I haven't said anything that isn't true, and the three of you," she pointed to her sisters, "think the same thing but don't say it, and if Derek ever took us…his family, into consideration we wouldn't be having this conversation," and she continued, clearly she'd given thorough thought to what she was saying. "You planned a wedding, a wedding that you did not think was important enough for any of us to be here, what does that tell us? How serious were you, that the first chance you got you gave it away…and it turns out your marriage is based on a post it note. For God's sake, it's not us, but you Derek, that don't give us a lot or reasons to believe that this woman you claim is your wife…"

"Stop it," Derek yelled, "she is my wife in all that matters…and nothing gives you the right to come here…and tell her…insinuate I have doubts about our relationship."

Mark glanced over at the monitor still attached to him, "Shep," Mark said, "I'll have them sedate you again…this is not the time."

"You wouldn't dare," he glared at Mark. "And, this is the time…once and for all…"

"Look," Jenna interrupted and walked to his bedside, "Derek…you don't have to explain…we can see you love Meredith…and she loves you."

"Let him talk Jenna," Nancy cut in, "whatever it was she didn't want him to tell us, let him talk…we have a right to know…"

"You," Derek said in a low hoarse tone, "have no rights…Meredith is the only one that has any rights…"

"Except," Nancy stated simply, "those of a legal wife."

"Nancy, that is enough," Jenna turned to her. "Stop being a bitch."

"Jenna," Nancy shot at her, "do not stand there and dare to pretend you have not been as angry as the rest of us over this situation…and more so after Mom gave him her ring and he didn't even…"

"Both of you, all three of you," Maggie shouted, "enough … this is not doing anyone any good. He has said he's married, or at least he believes they're married, and he's right, it's his business…and if he wants to exclude us from his life, as much as it hurts all of us and Mom…it's also his choice."

"Mom's ring," Derek shouted above their argument, "you want to know what I did with Mom's ring…you want to know why she may have doubts… why your spiteful words gave rise to her spending the night without sleeping thinking about every God dammed time I've failed her…is that what you want to know…that while she has stood by my side, I've walked away over and over again, and let her down…and failed her…and then if that wasn't enough, I took that symbol of Mom and Dad's love and denigrated its memory…when I held it in front of her and swung it away with a bat…and then told her to get out of my life."

"Oh God," Jenna whispered and held a hand to her mouth, and Kathleen walked over to her and put her arms around her.

"Is that what you think it's your right to know…how even after that she loved me enough to forgive me, you come here and without knowing the hell her life has been….how strong and courageous and kind and compassionate she is in spite of it all…you question our relationship, you dare insinuate that I don't love her…without ever bothering to understand why she's the woman I want to spend my life with…and how very fragile our relationship has been…not because of her, but because of me…"

"Derek," Kathleen placed her hand on his arm, "you've just had two major surgeries, this is not good for you…please…you need to calm down…"

"I love her Kathleen," Derek said and paused, too choked up to continue, "I have no doubts about our relationship…and if not for this accident…she'd already know that in a few weeks we'd be on our way," he stopped short of telling them his plans, determined that Meredith was the first person that should know of the surprise he'd intended for that fateful night, and thinking of that, in a small way helped to diffuse the anger.

"Shep," Mark said, "I'm warning you. I swear I'll get Bailey in here …"

"I love you all, I do," his voice sounded tired from the physical trauma his body had experienced as well as emotionally spent. "Even you," he said as he looked at Nancy, "you're my family…but Meredith…she's my life…and none of you have the right to come here and prey on her doubts…which she has no reason to believe otherwise, because I'm the one that's failed her, I'm the one that," he breaks down and covers his face with his hands briefly, "and now…she spent all night alone and thinking…that I don't love her enough to…"

"Derek," Kathleen said softly, as she kissed his forehead, "she knows you love her…"

"She's doubting my commitment to her…" he said, considerably more subdued after he'd verbalized so much of the guilt he'd harbored for months.

"I agree," Kathleen said softly to him, "that she hasn't had the most clear or level headed thoughts," she paused, "or been too rational…but, that could simply be she's been spending time with Jenna, and you know how contagious that can be," she smiled at her brother and sister, "you remember how we all get caught up in Jenna's rambles and crying when she's pregnant…" she said, and prayed Meredith and Derek would soon be celebrating their news.

"Does that mean you've been making her cry?" Derek turned to Jenna accusingly.

"No," Jenna told him, the situation somehow diffused, "she's been making me cry."

"Why?" he asked, as he lay back on the pillows, and Mark was thankful he seemed to have calmed down. "Did you argue with her? Because she wouldn't purposely…"

"I may have mentioned how upset we were not being included for that wedding you gave away," Jenna told her brother, "and you know there was no way I was going to be able to say that without shedding some tears."

"Jenna," he lifted his head, "I should have tried harder to make sure you were here," he said resigned to the inevitable; even he understood, in spite of Nancy's method of communicating, how his family felt. "It was more about me…maybe I knew I'd have a lot of explaining to do…and probably took advantage and avoided having to tell Mom why Meredith's not wearing her ring."

"She doesn't want to wear Mom's ring?" Jenna asked.

"I can understand," Maggie approached the bed, "why she wouldn't want to…after all you've said."

"She never said it," Derek responded, "but…I think…so much of what's happened is because of how I've behaved…"

"Derek," Nancy spoke finally, her head lowered and refusing to make eye contact with any of her siblings. "I'm sorry. I will apologize to Meredith before I leave," and she walked out of the room.

"Maggie," Derek said as he closed his eyes. "Go after her. I don't want her to leave, not like this."

"Maggie, you stay," Mark said, "let me talk to her."

"I'm sorry," Derek said after a long while. "You all should have been here, but you also have to understand…things changed…we moved up the wedding when her friend got sick," he said and began to explain some of what had happened, and how their commitment to each other had nothing to do with the legality of their vows.

The four siblings spent time talking without arguing. Jenna cried, insisting he had to make more of an effort; that he had to visit more often, that it was easier for just two of them to travel than their entire family to come to Seattle. She expected he and Meredith would be home; if not this Thanksgiving, due to his surgery and recovery, certainly the next year, and as expected when asked by his younger tearful pregnant sister, he agreed.

Meredith's bogus excuse for leaving the room soon became a reality; and not feeling well was an understatement she'd tell his mother, when not more than twenty minutes after manipulating the situation to prevent Carolyn from hearing about the way he'd batted her ring away, she was hit with her second and most violent attack of morning sickness.

Almost an hour later, a rather pale looking Meredith was led back to his room.

"Meredith," he said right away, "are you all right?"

"Yes," she said quietly.

"You don't sound very convincing," he told her.

"I'm fine," she told him.

"That makes me worry even more…" Derek mumbled.

"How are you feeling," she asked, "have you seen Dr. Sullivan?"

"He'll be by later," he said and their eyes met, both reflecting immense vulnerability.

"Where is your sister?" Carolyn Shepherd asked as she walked in the room and sensed that something rather important had happened.

"She went to the hotel," Maggie responded. "It seems one of her patient's has been admitted and she may need to fly back."

"Maggie," Carolyn said, "you were never a very good liar. It must have been a very bad argument between you. I expect to hear about it later. Now, let's give Derek some time alone with his wife," the matriarch's golden seal of approval, "before she goes home."

"She won't find out," Maggie stayed behind the rest. "We'll all make sure of that," she said and kissed her brother's cheek and turned to Meredith. "Thank you," she was hesitant at first, but went ahead and kissed Meredith's cheek too," for pretending you weren't well…and taking Mom away."

"They know," Meredith whispered to no one in particular when they were alone.

"They know that I love you," he told her.

"Derek…" she did not look at him, "do they know…did you tell them…what you thought of me…"

"They know…" he said, "that I've behaved in a way that would make my parents ashamed…that I've dishonored the symbol of their love for each other…"

"I didn't want her to hear that…" Meredith said absently, and tried to keep from crying.

"Meredith," he spoke softly to her, "please…don't shut me out."

"I'm not…" she responded, very unconvincingly.

"You are," he said, "and I can't stand the distance between us…even if I deserve it…even if I've given you reason to hate me…"

"I don't hate you," she met his gaze, and he knew she did not.

"Then please," he pleaded, a desperate edge to his voice, "please…come close so me…I need to touch you…to know that …you love me…even when you have reasons to hate me…"

"Oh…" she took a deep broken breath, "Derek…I don't hate you…"

"Then please…Meredith, let me touch you…you haven't come close to me…"

"How are you feeling," she asked him, coming closer as he'd asked.

"Like hell," he told her.

"What's wrong," the doctor immediately took over, coupled with her fear of losing him, "have you told the doctor, have they been monitoring you…what have they said…could there be more internal bleeding…we have to get a doctor to see you right away…"

She was close enough he could reach for her hand and pulled her to him, "the only thing wrong is the distance between us…please," he pleaded as he held her hand firmly in his, "tell me what's wrong…"

"Nothing's wrong," she said too quickly. "I'm fine."

"Meredith," he said softly, "I have no idea what happened between the last time we spoke on the phone as I was on my way to get you and now… there's this wall I don't understand…please make me understand." He drew her close to him, as best he could, "what's wrong…Meredith…I love you…you must know that…" and he saw the tears began to gather in her eyes, "we were on our way to a date…we were flirting and laughing…right before…both of us were happy…teasing each other about a surprise…that meant forever…" he spoke of all he remembered of that call.

"I know…" she whispered, and first he sensed, and then saw the wall begin to crumble.

"Meredith…" he whispered tenderly, and managed to embrace her, though he winced at the pain caused by his movements, and thankfully she allowed him to pull her close enough that she lay her head on his chest. "I love you, you are my life…I have no doubts about us…I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he continued whispering tender words of love while his hand gently caressed her hair, and when she felt his lips tenderly kiss the top of her head, he heard the quiet whimpers and felt the tears begin to flow. "Please don't cry…" he said after she'd been crying far too long, because it was not like her, "tell me…please…I know I did or said something…to upset you…but I don't know what it was…and somehow because of it you're not ok."

"I'm ok…" she said finally, and pulled away from him and wiped her tears away.

"Well," he said, "that's good then," and he smiled at her, that smile that never failed to make her fall in love with him all over gain, "but I'm not."

"You're not ok…why…are you in pain?"

"You could say that," he told her, and caressed her face, "it's heart breaking to see you like this…after all we've been through…that you doubt me…and because I know…that something is wrong, no matter what you tell me…and there's nothing I can do unless you talk to me…and you have been pulling away from me…and we promised we would not do that…no running…and you are…"

"I'm not…" she told him, "I'm not running…"

"You told me," he said, trying to measure his words carefully as he could see the heightened vulnerability reflected in her eyes, "you were giving me an out…an out I don't want…"

"I…just want you to be able to decide without pressure…if you want…" she indeed began to pull away, and when she saw the expression of pain on his face she resisted his embrace.

"Don't pull away from me…" he told her and held her closer, "I've never felt so weak physically in my entire life, but I'm not letting you out of my arms." He knew it wasn't nice to joke with her now, but he wasn't taking any chances, "even if it means I pull a stitch and they have to wheel me back to surgery…and then you'll be responsible for that…"

"Don't be an ass," she said suddenly, knowing he was trying to make light of things, but surprising him at the light and sudden change in mood.

"Listen to me," he said and raised the bed so he could better talk to her, making it possible to cup her face, "I don't want…or need…an out…we're married…we made vows…promises…forever…"

"It was just a post it…" she shrugged.

"Was it…" he challenged her, his gaze locked with hers, "is that all it was…to you?"

"No," she looked away from him. "But…now…your sisters they know you better…and I can understand if you want…"

"Meredith," he wiped away a stray tear, "do you love me?"

"You know I do…"

"Why should I believe you?" he asker her.

"You don't believe me," she said and her eyes glimmered with tears again.

"I do believe you," he told her and kept her from pulling away from him, "but why don't you believe me…that I don't need time to think…that I already know all I ever want or need is to have you in my life…that you are my life…that nothing means anything without you."

"That's different," she told him, and if Derek had known she was pregnant he would have delighted in teasing her, because even she could not explain her rationale.

"How is it different…Meredith…"

"It just is," she told him, "because…well…it just is…"

"Ok," he said indulgently, "then can you please…just accept that I have no doubts…none…just because…it is…"

"You're mocking me…"

"I'm trying," he said, with deep emotion in his voice, "desperately…to make my wife understand what she means to me, and yes…you are my wife in every way that matters…and…if you let me…if you're patient with me…just a few more days….while I get out of this place and we can have our interrupted date, you'll understand even more…exactly what our commitment means to me…and I'm frustrated as hell I'm stuck in this bed and feeling as weak as a baby…"

"You…" she said meeting his gaze, "you really don't want …to think about it…what it means to keep those promises…to rethink…"

"Not for one second…Meredith…those vows…those promises…they were forever…"

"What if…" she wanted to remind him of her crappy genes.

"Forever…" he repeated, "no running…"

"No running…" she told him, and he saw a slight smile on her face.

"No keeping secrets either…" he caressed her face tenderly and kissed her lips softly.

"I'm not…" she said very unconvincingly.

"Yes," he said, "you are…because you blatantly lied when you walked out of here with Mom, and I really thought you weren't feeling well, and that was not a nice thing to do…especially to someone that's just been through two major surgeries…and had to be sedated…after waking up to hear something was wrong with you…"

"Derek," she cupped his face, and tenderly kissed his lips, "I love you."

"That's not going to work," he teased her, "trying to sidetrack the conversation."

"I'm not," she smiled, and this time, it reached her eyes, "well…maybe just a little…but I really do love you, and I'm sorry… I let what Nancy said get me all back to dark and twisty…and some of what she said…it's true…"

"You need to trust me…" he told her, "we need to trust each other…no more doubts Meredith…"

"I do trust you," she said, "but…everything," he saw the tears again and wondered at the overly emotional reaction, "your accident…and then two surgeries…and I didn't know if you were going to be ok…and I thought…" she pursed her lips before she started to cry, "I thought I was going to lose you…and I can't…you can't…you promised…"

"Hey," he said and drew her close to him, "you didn't lose me…I'm ok…and we're going to have that lifetime …we are Meredith," he said and continued to whisper soothing words of comfort, until she laughed at something he said and she pulled away slightly, "promise…"

"As soon as I'm out of here…"

"As soon as you're out of here…" she teased him.

"Maybe a few weeks after that," he smiled at her, and she saw how tired he looked.

"You're tired," she said, "you've had a rough morning; you need to get some rest."

"You look tired too," he said, "and I know from what you said earlier that you didn't get any sleep last night. That's two nights…" they exchanged intimate word that offered comfort and reassurances that the other would get some rest.

Carolyn Shepherd had kept an eye on the couple and as soon as she saw the change in

their demeanor, while also noting the exhaustion evident in them both, she made her entrance.

"I have to say," she called out before walking in on them, "I'm very pleased to see you two have reconciled your differences."

"Mom," Derek was about to complain, "don't…"

"Derek Christopher," she interrupted using her most unbending motherly tone, "don't you Mom me…I intend to find out what was going on when we walked in here earlier, but for now…I'm glad you two are on speaking term…or kissing terms," she joked, "because, you both look like you could use some rest and I'm taking Meredith home."

Derek was immediately concerned, "what's wrong with you," he turned to Meredith, "you told me nothing's wrong…that you were ok…did your tests come back…did Miranda find…"

"I'm just tired Derek…I haven't slept…"

"You," Carolyn said, "are all exhausting. What did I ever do to have such overly dramatic children?"

"Mom, if she's going home…and is allowing you to boss her around, it seems..."

"The only thing wrong with her is that she is emotionally and physically exhausted. She paid no attention to me last night, and has not slept in I don't know how long, certainly since before your accident. Yes, I'm taking her home to get a good day's rest and a full night's sleep, knowing that you are fine…and are going to be cared for by the very competent staff here and your sisters…not Jenna, she's coming with me. She needs to get some rest too, and I'm going to have them eat a proper home cooked meal…and you will see her again tomorrow."

"You're taking Jenna and Meredith home," he repeated, and turned to Meredith, "and you're willingly going along with this…no freaking out that my mother's coming over…"

"Well," Meredith said, as she fidgeted with her watch, "now that you put it that way…"

"I'm not falling for that again," Carolyn told her, "and if you're not joking, get over it. I already told you earlier," she met Meredith's gaze in warning, "you have no choice."

"She's right," Meredith consented, making Derek even more concerned. "I have not slept, and it's all catching up with me…but, Derek…" she leaned in to him and kissed his lips softly, "I'm ok…really…and I'll see you tomorrow."

"You're ok?" He questioned with uncertainty, "you're not hiding anything from me?"

"I'm ok," she kissed him softly, she didn't want to lie outright again; because she was keeping something from him, but this was not the way she wanted to tell him. "Now that we've talked…I'm more than ok. But, I'm only going to leave," she whispered, "don't tell her, for a few hours…and then I'll be back tonight."

"Mom," he said, "you may have mutiny in the works."

"Derek," Carolyn said, "this is no time to play games."

"She's planning to escape in the middle of the night."

"Derek," Meredith said, "how could you?"

"I think Mom's right," he told her, holding on to her hand, "I can see you're exhausted and I don't want you coming back here…I want you to get some rest…"

"You're a traitor."

"No, I'm your husband," he said smugly, "and since I can't take care of you right now, there's nobody better than Mom to do it."

"Fine," she pouted.

"Meredith," he pulled her closer to him, "don't pout," he smiled, "I love you."

"You'll sleep too, do what the doctor says…please," she forgot anyone was in the room but the two of them and caressed his face, pushed a lock away from his forehead, "you have to be ok…" and leaned in to kiss him tenderly, neither noticed his mother's absence.

"Do you still love me…" he asked, his own doubts about her determination to give him an out…making him wonder, momentarily, if perhaps she spoke of her needs.

"I've never stopped…not since the first time I told you…"

"Even when you hated me…" he said, recalling all she'd put her through.

"I never hated you…" she said softly, "I've only loved you…forever."

"I've loved you forever…too…and now…those promises we made…Meredith…we're not breaking them…"

"If you're sure…" she said, desperately wanting to blurt out her news, but the newly discovered very sentimental side of her wanted it to be special, as she'd meant it to be, a light poignant emotional moment in their life, a moment she'd believed would be forever engraved in her memory as she told him he was going to be a father.

"Very sure…" he said cupping her face, "never more sure of anything in my life."

"And…" she said, and he remembered the way she'd looked at him the day in the elevator, he'd told her he wanted to spend t he rest of his life with her, "I've never been more sure of anything in my life," and their words were sealed with a kiss.


	11. Chapter 11

**_A/N 16 NOV- Please disregard if you got an alert for CH 12; there was a problem with them when I posted CH 11, and it was a duplicate in error. Chapter 12 will be posted by next weekend. Thanks. _**

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 11**

"You'll go home and get some rest…have a good meal…listen to Mom," Derek said.

"I will…" she said, feeling as though the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders in the time they'd just spent together, and gave in to one more tender kiss.

"Meredith," he whispered, "I love you, don't ever forget…you're all I need to make my life complete…"

"I love you too…and you," she realized she couldn't say the same thing to him; couldn't tell him he was all she needed to make her life complete, and her eyes misted as she thought of the tiny small being that was now part of her, a tiny baby they'd unknowingly created and that just in the last days she'd become aware of; loved already. Knew already had become a part of her life, especially in those moments of fear, when she'd dreaded that something could go wrong.

"Hey," Derek said softly, "what's this…" he kissed a tear away, "I tell you I love you…and you cry…not just once today …you've never done this before…"

"I…" she paused, as she became more emotional, "I've never been so close…to losing everything that ever mattered in my life…"

"Well," he teased, "I'm still here…I'm not going anywhere…unless," he kissed her softly, "you've found another love…I'm not aware of…"

"Oh, Derek," she wanted to keep from crying, to tell him…there was another love…one she never imagined would ever be part of her life…but since Derek…couldn't ever imagine the absence of children, their children in that imaginary room, on the cliff where they would play. He'd done a good job convincing her he loved her, she didn't doubt that, but part of her still wondered if the words he echoed earlier about not being ready for kids was the way he truly felt about the future and not just the current moment.

"Meredith," he whispered; her name becoming a gentle soothing caress.

"I love you," she said, unusually clingy he thought, "don't ever…ever…put me through this again…"

"I'll try," he joked, "not to have another splenectomy."

"Derek," she glared at him, "don't joke…"

"Mer…" he brushed her lips softly, "I'm alive…I can feel your lips on mine…"

"Don't ever scare me like that again," she told him. "Ever…Derek…"

"You fainted," he said suddenly, "I woke up…to hear you'd fainted…and," he too became emotional, "don't ever do that to me again…either…" he said, and their lips found each other and made silent promises of forever.

"This is a welcomed scene," Dr. Sullivan walked in and smiled. "How are you feeling Derek? Meredith, you have everyone worried over you."

"Why," Derek interrupted, "Meredith…I thought…"

"You already know about it Derek," Sullivan said, as he personally took his blood pressure, "she just needs to keep up with eating and resting."

They discussed his surgery and recuperation and Dr. Sullivan told him he thought all drainage tubes would be removed by the following morning, as well as the need for deep breathing exercises and walking. Meredith was changing her mind about going home, wanting to stay to be there when he got out of bed. But, Derek immediately assured her, and even more emphatically Sullivan told her he needed his patient to be calm and that meant her going home to get some rest, not to mention the VIP treatment he was sure to get from the staff, joking that everyone liked McDreamy.

"You know Dr. Sullivan," Meredith told him, uncharacteristically possessive and making Derek smile, "he's only McDreamy to me…at least, I better not hear of…"

"Look at that," Sullivan teased her, "never would have expected that of you, a jealous wife. Get some rest Meredith so my patient will do the same."

Derek convinced her to go home, while promising he would follow all doctor's orders, but not before some of their family congregated at his bedside.

"Mer," Cristina said as she walked in followed by Carolyn, Kathleen and Jenna. "What's wrong with you? Mrs. Shepherd said you're going home."

"Dr. Yang…" Carolyn said, "it's very nice that you're worried about her…and I didn't want to mention this before, but, I'm not as young anymore, so it's my excuse to put my feet up for a while as well." Derek hid a smile at his mother's approach to ensure Meredith would not back out.

"Dr. Yang," Sullivan said, "I thought you were here to take charge of my patient."

"Yes Sir, I am…but…" Cristina replied.

"No buts Yang, make sure Dr. Shepherd follows all my instructions," he said and Meredith's eyes opened wide, "and that he's moved to a regular room."

"Cristina…" Meredith warned.

"Mer, I'm the best resident here," Cristina quipped, "and I volunteered…make sure you're not a widow anytime soon," and with that acknowledged she'd support her person no matter what stupidity had taken over her and Shepherd to think it was acceptable to get married on a post it note. "I feel responsible," she said "after all I gave you my blue post it pad."

Mark and Lexie walked in a few minutes later wanting to check on both Derek and Meredith, and after Meredith assured Lexie there was nothing wrong with her she left the hospital with Carolyn and Jenna.

"Mark," Derek said when it was just the two of them and Kathleen, "she's having all sorts of doubts…I don't understand it. Right before the accident, we had been on the phone, she was happy and joking…and now…I don't get it…I know that Nancy was…"

"Nancy was a bitch," Mark said, "I've already told her how much I regret having called…and opened my mouth about what Meredith said..."

"Mark," Kathleen said, "don't be so quick to judge, you're not in a great position to cast stones," she said, and that conversation continued.

"Look," Mark said, "to be fair, she's sorry Shep. She said she'd apologize to Meredith."

"I don't want her talking to Meredith," Derek was emphatic. "She needs to talk to me first. Where are she and Maggie?"

Mark told them they'd gone back to the hotel, as Nancy had every intention of leaving, and when Kathleen got a call on her cell and walked out of the room, Derek had a chance to speak with Mark.

"Mark, I need a favor," Derek said, "in my car, the glove compartment…there was a gift for Meredith, and the inside pocket of my jacket…there's an envelope…I need to get those…it's important …I need for you to help me get that back."

"Shep," Mark said, "your car was totaled…"

"So I understand," Derek said, "but…the box…in the glove compartment…I was hit on the other side…you have to find it Mark…and my jacket, it's got to be here somewhere, the hospital doesn't get rid of personal possessions…"

"I'll get it, don't worry about it."

"Thank you," Derek said, "you have no idea how important it is."

"You and Grey ok?"

"We'll be fine," Derek said, still harboring a slight uncomfortable feeling over her reaction to what Nancy said. He understood, partially, but there was something, he was certain of it, something he'd said that had made Meredith so insecure.

"Fine…" Mark said, "like Meredith…"

"No," Derek said, "we'll work through it…we almost have, there's just something nagging at me, not quite sure …if it's something I've said," Kathleen heard as she walked back in.

"I can come back," she said, realizing she may have interrupted a private conversation.

"No," Derek said and included his sister in the conversation he'd had with Mark, "besides, you're a shrink, care to shed some light…I have no idea what I could have said to upset her, but I'm pretty sure I did."

The three longtime friends spoke for a while before Cristina indeed came in with the respiratory therapist. She wasn't taking any chances she said, and listened as the therapist went through breathing exercises with Derek, and then got him up and walking for a few minutes before the natural exhaustion took over and he was comfortably back in bed and within minutes fell asleep.

"Kathleen," Derek said a bit groggy a few hours later, "I want to talk to Nancy. I just had a first hand look at death," he philosophized, "life's too short…and I don't want her to go home with this anger between us. But, she needs to understand she can't walk in here and judge us…I've never judged her, and in spite of her support for Addison when she was here before, I let it go…probably shouldn't have, I'm just at good at avoiding as Meredith it seems."

"Derek," Kathleen said, "I'm not going to excuse her…she was totally out of line. But, you've excluded us Derek, for so long…" she said, and the sister and brother had a heart to heart conversation.

"Kathleen," Derek said, "a lot's still a bit of a haze since the accident…did I say anything…did you hear me say anything that could have upset Meredith?"

Kathleen had decided to spend the time with Derek at the hospital while their mother was with Meredith and Jenna, and Maggie had followed Nancy to the hotel. During the time he'd spent with the therapist and napping, she'd had a lot of time to think about what he'd said earlier about having upset Meredith, and after much reflection was ready to answer his question.

"I think you're right," Kathleen told her brother, "life's too short…to harbor unnecessary animosity, I'm glad you're going to talk to Nancy."

"That's not what I asked you Kathleen," he said.

She ignored him, much as his sisters had often done. "If you'd let me finish, I'd have said that there may be something that upset Meredith," she carefully chose her words, as she had to ensure not to betray her confidence.

"So," he said starting to sit up and wincing at the pain it caused, "there is something…"

"Are you ok? Do you want some pain medication?"

"No…it's expected," he said. "What did I say? I don't even realize …"

"Derek, don't beat yourself over this…I think it's probably a misunderstanding."

"She said something to you? She told you?" he asked his sister

"I don't know her very well at all, but I like her, I do…we all do."

"Nancy did a really good job of showing her that," he said getting angry.

"Derek, I understand your anger, I do. But…"

"Kathleen, I don't care about that now. I want to understand, figure out…what happened in addition to what Nancy said that could have upset her…I've been wracking my brain, I have ever since she walked out of here earlier…but it's…" he ran his hand through his hair in a typical sign of frustration.

"Why do you think it's something you said," his sister said, trying to be careful in how she chose to bring up the subject, while keeping most thoughts to herself, especially the fact that if he'd not been so brainless, she smiled here, and he noticed.

"What are you smiling about," he said, "it's no smiling matter."

She smiled again, "it's amazing how you a neurosurgeon no less…can be so clueless about women…especially your wife."

"You're calling her my wife," he said, deeply moved, "thank you."

"That's what she is to you," Kathleen said, "even if you forgot to invite us," and he was resigned at that being a long time bone of contention. She concealed her smile, knowing they'd be holding that over his head for a while, but more so because if he'd just stop to think about the last few days, surely he'd have figured out she was being overly emotional, not just because of his accident, and surely he'd noticed other signs she could be pregnant.

"Kathleen," he said, after a few moments of deep thought, "I've really been thinking about this…and I know she was very upset with what Nancy said…but then…she left…and she looked at me and she was so sad…her eyes," he said, "she can't hide anything…her eyes …"

"The windows to the soul," Kathleen said, certain she was planting the seed. The psychiatrist in her knew he had to figure things out alone, she was just leading him to the answers a bit quicker, "in her case…I've never seen it so clearly."

"They are…but…then, she'll shut down…and you can literally see this wall that blocks everything… and that's when I know…that …" he paused and closed his eyes.

"Derek," Kathleen said softly, "are you all right?"

"She said," he took a deep breath, "I had decided …no…that I hadn't decided if I wanted children with her…and that's crazy. Kathleen, she knows I do…but…she looked at me like she was upset…Kathleen…I said…we weren't ready...but I only said that because I didn't want her feeling pressured. Jenna was talking about us having kids next and I know her…I don't want to pressure her…we'll have kids when she's ready…and if she doesn't, I can deal with that too…I didn't want her to start jumping to conclusions and she has a way…do you think" he said suddenly and truly surprised, "that's what upset her? We haven't talked about it…I mean we have in the broad sense…but I wouldn't think that comment would upset her," he finished.

"Derek," Kathleen stated simply, "maybe it's easier if you just ask her."

"I don't see how that could be it," he said, "Kathleen...and I don't want her to think if I bring it up it's because I want kids now…right away."

"Derek," Kathleen said, becoming a bit exasperated at his own irrationality. God, she thought, the two of them together were going to be a hormonal roller coaster through this pregnancy. "You're both adults, surely you can have a conversation about whether you want kids in the future or not," his sister said cautiously, as she now felt she may be crossing the line. "You did say you weren't ready…and she took that to mean…you may not want kids with her…at all."

"That's ridiculous," he snapped, "she knows that's not true…"

"Does she?" Kathleen insisted.

"Of course she does," he started to say, and then reconsidered, picturing the vulnerability in her eyes when she'd left the room earlier, "I mean…we've talked about it…for the future… "

"Maybe," Kathleen said, "she misunderstood and when you said, you weren't ready," she paused for the right effect and time for it to sink in through her brother's obvious obliviousness, "you weren't quite ready, is what I think you said," she emphasized, "she understood you meant in the future as well."

"It still doesn't make sense," he spoke his thoughts aloud, "that she'd be so upset."

"Well," Kathleen said, "you never know…how moments like this, when she thought you may not make it, how emotions affect us."

"You think it could be that," he asked.

"It's possible," she said, "but you know her better than I do…it's just an observation."

"She said something to you," Derek stated. "Didn't she?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," his sister said.

"Kathleen…" Derek warned. "You better not be keeping something from me."

"I'm not," she said, and he knew by her tone that she was.

"What did Meredith say? You had breakfast with her, you talked, I'm sure of it."

"Ask her," she told him, "talk to her about what upset her."

"You already know," he stated, and became agitated, "and you're going to tell me right now."

"She was upset," Kathleen told her, "I'll admit that, and we may have pushed her…"

"You bombarded her," he said, "you and Mom and Jenna…how could you?"

"We did not bombard her, you ungrateful moron…thanks to us…she came back in here to talk to you…because she was upset…and didn't really make a hell of a lot of sense," Kathleen said, determined not to give anything away until Meredith was ready, "because all she said was that she understood your …I guess…hesitancy to have children with her…something about crappy genes and DNA."

"Oh, God," he said wearily, "not only did Nancy help to create doubts in her mind, but I made it worse…making her think that," he sighed dramatically.

"Derek," Kathleen laughed, "you're being a bit over dramatic."

"You don't know her Kathleen," he said, "she's never had anyone support her…all she's ever been given…all she's ever…" he paused, needing to clear his throat and get past the lump in his throat as he became emotional, thinking of so much of their past.

"Derek," Kathleen said, "you shouldn't be upset…she's ok…we talked a little bit…we told her…that we were sure you only meant to reassure her, that you didn't want her to feel pressured…"

"You did…" he mumbled.

"We did," she said, "and we had a nice chat, and she believed us…and she knows you love her…she told us that…and she loves you, but the last few days have been very emotional…"

"It's not just the last few days," Derek said, "Kathleen…if you only knew her…you'd see, understand why I love her…" he said softly, "I need to talk to you about her, please…but…just between us…doctor patient confidentiality…not brother and sister…"

"How about," she said, as she reached for his hand, "if my brother speaks to his sister…who promises never to reveal his confidences…"

"She's kind…compassionate…" he said and began to tell their story. One that his sister would never reveal, just as she never revealed the knowledge of the baby, even when at the end of the conversation he said, "so you understand…why I said that…wanting her to know we have plenty of time…that I'll wait…for whenever she's ready…if she's ready…for us to have kids one day."

"I think," Kathleen said, "if you talk to her, it would make her happy…to know that."

"I will," he said, "as soon as I'm out of here, I'll talk to her," he smiled, "and give her the surprise I planned for her."

Kathleen could have easily shaken them both to get them to talk right now; for Meredith to tell Derek about the baby, and for him to share what he'd just said to her. Preferably, he'd talk first to avoid any more irrational thoughts from Meredith. Likewise, she wanted him to find out he was going to become a father before they all went home, and they could properly celebrate the news.

The rest of the day was filled with far too many visitors, he thought, after he was moved to a regular room and the mid afternoon brought his sister Maggie to keep him company.

Meanwhile, at Meredith's house, his mother had combined past navy nurse training and a lifetime of mothering to perfect use.

Carolyn had insisted on driving Meredith home and she was going to drop Jenna at the hotel, when Meredith surprised her by reminding her she'd told Derek she was taking them both home. Once they got there, she told Meredith's she hoped she didn't mind she was going to take over the kitchen, and then told them she'd be back with all she needed for lunch and dinner. Meredith told Jenna she was indeed exhausted and was going to take a shower and get in bed, but first, showed her around the house, told her to make herself at home and began to make the bed with clean sheets in Alex's old room. But, Jenna stopped her, and after the usual friendly banter and arguing, they both got the beds ready, not only in Alex's but Izzie's old room as well; Carolyn, Meredith told Jenna also needed some rest.

Carolyn took a detour to the hotel to speak to her daughter Nancy, and when she arrived found her daughters, both of whom had obviously been crying in the room they shared.

"Maggie," Carolyn said, "I'd like to speak with your sister alone."

"Mom," Nancy said, "it's fine…she can stay."

"No," Carolyn told her, "she cannot. She can wait in one of the other rooms," she said referring to the three adjoining rooms.

"Mom," Nancy began to say, "I've apologized to Derek. I will do the same with her before I leave tonight."

"You are going to let me speak," Carolyn said, "and will not interrupt me until I'm done, and Meredith has a name, it is not her."

"I only meant," Nancy said.

"Nancy," Carolyn said, "I have never been more serious, you will not interrupt me," she said and began to talk. "You were my first child, my pride and joy…your father's…and today…you have shamed us both…deeply…the way you have treated, mistreated …the woman your brother loves...at a time when he needed your love and understanding most…and Meredith needed compassion and support …"

It was not long before both mother and daughter had argued and cried, and ultimately reached an understanding, one guided by the one emotion that overruled all else; love. The love between mother and daughter, the love the sister undoubtedly felt for her brother, and the love of family that would always prevail, and ultimately ensured the tenuous beginnings of a relationship between her daughter and daughter in law.

Carolyn and Nancy met up with Maggie, who told them of Derek's insistence that Nancy go see him, but she refused before she had a chance to speak with Meredith.

"Meredith," Carolyn tapped lightly on her bedroom door, and after a few attempts finally received some sort of mumbled response.

"I know you need to sleep," Carolyn smiled at her, "but you also need to eat…would you like me to bring it up here to you?"

"No," Meredith protested, "of course not…you can't do that."

"Would it make you feel better," Carolyn smiled, "if I did the same for Jenna, who seems to be sleeping as well."

"No…" Meredith said and sat up in bed, "I'll come downstairs and join you," and looked over at the bedside clock, "Carolyn it's almost two in the afternoon…surely you haven't been cooking this long… you need to take a nap yourself, you even told Derek…you're not as young…" she stopped. "I mean, you're not old…but…you…you need some rest too…"

"Yes," Carolyn chuckled, "you're right, I'm not old…at least don't normally feel that way, but you kids have exhausted me the last few days."

"We're not necessarily kids," Meredith smiled, "annoying adults…maybe…"

"Your children are always that…you'll see," she said, and Meredith noticed a sadness in her eyes and motioned for her to sit down next to her on the bed.

"Carolyn," Meredith said calmly, afraid of the answer, "you've got puffy eyes…is something wrong…is Derek ok?"

"Derek is fine," she said, "and you're very observant."

"I'm an expert at trying to hide what I feel…so it's easy to recognize."

"Meredith," his mother interrupted, "I have no rights to ask this of you…but…"

"What is it?" Meredith said.

"I spoke to Nancy," she said and briefly mentioned her visit with her daughter, and her wish to apologize to her before she would see Derek. Meredith, realizing how important the family's relationship was to this woman, the woman that had in less than forty eight hours shown her more motherly affection and tenderness than Ellis ever had, found herself telling her to ask Nancy to come to her house.

The three women had just finished having lunch in the kitchen when the doorbell rang and Jenna went to answer knowing it was Nancy, and after the expected awkwardness Meredith led her to Derek's study. She needed to feel his presence she thought, if she was to deal with this situation, and this room had become his so completely, his scent lingered offering her comfort.

Meredith sat down and braced herself, unsure of what the outcome would be, and Nancy followed suit.

"Before I left the hospital today," she spoke, "I apologized to Derek, which I know does not mean much…but I also knew I had to see you and apologize, " she spoke, "then, my mother came to the hotel and within the first thirty seconds made me feel more shame than I've felt my entire life. I've no rights to ask that you hear me out…but I'd like to try to make amends," she said and began to speak, sharing as much of the conversation as was relevant to what happened between them, omitting the rest of the very personal moments shared between mother and daughter.

Meredith spoke quietly at one point during the conversation, "please…tell me you did not tell her about the…the ring…"

"No," Nancy said, and the hard shell that was so perfectly and most always in place cracked a bit, and Meredith saw the glimmer of tears, "I can't…can't hurt her like that…"

"Thank you," Meredith said. "Earlier today…when I interrupted…I didn't want Derek to say that…to any of you…but especially your mother…she doesn't ever need to know."

"How," Nancy said, "can you be so forgiving…that you thank me…when I should be thanking you…for the rest of her life…my life…for thinking of her first, for wanting to spare her the sadness of knowing what Derek had done…" she was now visibly upset, "my dad meant everything to her…she took off the ring for the first time," Nancy said, and both she and Meredith found themselves wiping tears away as Nancy shared some of the memories of her dad, of her mom and dad together.

"Nancy," Meredith said, "you should speak to Derek," and she smiled, "or he's going to drive me crazy with all his broodiness and for that…I'm not going to forgive you,", and with those words, and the others during their hour long conversation, began the fragile relationship between the two women, one that in the years ahead was strengthened, and would often surprise them as the past was left behind.

"Mom," Nancy said as she followed Meredith in the kitchen, and they both noticed her mother sitting with her hands tightly together. "I'm going to go see Derek now, my flight's going to leave at nine tonight."

Carolyn spoke, "you're sure…I'd like for you to stay…a few days, and tonight, I've cooked enough for everyone…I'll bring dinner, a real home cooked meal…we can have dinner at the hotel with your sisters."

"Carolyn," Meredith interrupted, and would later wonder what in the world had possessed her to say it, "I'm thinking…since Derek doesn't…I mean…not that he doesn't want me to go," she rambled, "but I told him I'd stay here tonight…get some rest…and you said you were cooking dinner…I thought you'd be here…for dinner, you and Jenna…and you made enough…maybe…we could all eat…I mean his sisters…and you…we could all eat here tonight."

"Meredith," Carolyn said, deeply moved, "we don't want to impose on you…I've already done enough taking over the kitchen…and…"

"I think," Meredith said, "Nancy should go speak with Derek…and I think…he would like it, very much, if his family was here…when he comes home…it's only a few more days," she went to sit next to Jenna who was crying. "But, you," she told her, "better stop crying…I don't care if you're pregnant…because you're making me cry too," she said in an attempt to make light of the situation that was anything but, as she thought of the fact that Derek knew nothing about their baby.

"I'm pregnant," Jenna said, "you can't expect me not to…"

"Meredith," Nancy said, "you're expecting miracles…she cries and is overly sentimental even when she's not pregnant."

"Well," Meredith said, "I think…"

"I think," Carolyn said, "we've had a few miracles of our own the last few days," she said, and reached over to place her hand over Meredith's, "from tiny…to…others."

"Fine," Meredith sniffled. "Cry all you want…but…don't anyone make fun of me…or call me a water faucet…just because it's contagious to see her cry…"

"Meredith," Nancy said, "thank you…again," she said and Meredith accepted the sincerity that had been consistent in her voice since she'd arrived, "my brother is very lucky to have you as his wife."

"Make sure you tell him that," Meredith smiled, "not the wife part," she conceded, "I actually can see how silly that is…but it was enough for us…"

"Don't apologize," Nancy told her, "I can see…the commitment between you…the love between you…is much deeper than many marriages."

"We'll see you for dinner," Meredith said, "and Carolyn," she said as she was suddenly overwhelmed that her house would be filled with his family and she needed the security of hers, "you said you cooked a lot…is there enough…I mean…it's rude for me to ask…since you went shopping and I didn't give you any money or anything…so I don't know how much you cooked…but…if there's enough…"

"Meredith," Carolyn said, "do you always ramble like this…how do you ever finish a conversation…" she said and the four women laughed good naturedly.

"I do," Meredith teased her, "surely…you remember our conversation at breakfast…you got me to talk plenty then…the last couple days in fact…"

"Yes," Carolyn smiled, "I'll have to take that comment back…you've talked plenty..."

"What I was going to ask," Meredith said, "is if there was enough to ask Mark and…"

"Meredith," Nancy laughed, "knowing Mom, there's enough to feed ten people at least."

"Twelve," Carolyn muttered under her breath, and her daughters and Meredith laughed.

"So," Meredith said, "I can ask Mark and…"

"Lexie and Cristina," Carolyn finished for her, "the rest of your family."

Nancy left for the hospital leaving the three women sitting at the kitchen table.

"Thank you," Carolyn said to Meredith, "for talking to her…for inviting her to your home…it means…" she smiled softly, "so much…to know I'll have our family together," she said as with the use of _our_, Carolyn Shepherd unequivocally welcomed Meredith Grey as a new daughter in her family, just as Meredith accepted her unconditionally.

"Carolyn," Meredith asked, "you were going to have dinner at the hotel…but now…since you'll be here…I thought…"

"Yes dear," Carolyn said, "do you need me to do anything for you…"

"I thought," Meredith said quietly, uncertain of the vulnerability of her emotions, though certain hormones were at fault, "you could stay…you and Jenna…there's two rooms, I'd rather not be alone," she finished. Surely, she thought, she could have asked Cristina to keep her company. But tonight, with Derek still in the hospital, she desperately wanted to be close to people who loved him as much as she did, a comfort of sorts, she thought, as she gently placed her hand over her abdomen and smiled as she spoke silently, hey little one, mommy just invited your grandmother and aunts for dinner tonight…plus uncle Mark…who I'm pretty sure is going to be your godfather.

"Meredith," Jenna smiled as she saw Meredith lay her hand on her abdomen, and reached for her hand and squeezed lightly, "it's hormones…I swear…don't question it too much, you just get this overwhelming feeling and it seems the baby can hear your very thoughts," she said and Meredith wondered how she'd guessed her thoughts at that moment. "Then other times…you wonder if you're losing your common sense, because you know otherwise, you'd never have asked mcbitchy to dinner," and they both laughed bringing an end to all of the sadness with which the morning began.

"Meredith sweetheart," Carolyn said, smiling at the quickly growing friendship between the two younger women. "I think," she paused, and Jenna noticed the twinkling Irish eyes, "you can probably get rid of the condoms in the cookie jar."

Meredith looked horrified. Jenna burst out laughing. Carolyn got up and hugged Meredith's shoulders, "I don't think they'll be of any use now. My chocolate chip cookies, however…I'm sure will definitely be worthy of being there…"

Meredith insisted Carolyn go upstairs and nap, while she and Jenna each grabbed a couch and watched a pay for view movie, by the end of which both had shed plenty of sentimental tears, but not before Meredith had called Derek and spoken in private.

"Hey," she said as she heard his voice, "are you alone?"

"Kathleen just went to get something for lunch, we both sort of fell asleep…"

"That's good," Meredith said, "you're getting some rest…what else did you do?"

He told her about the therapist, his walk and admitted his physical exhaustion as he told her of the continuous visits from hospital staff; while Mark, Lexie, Bailey and Cristina lead the pack, "even Karev stopped by earlier, I feel bad for him Meredith," he said referring to Izzie's extended absence. "I know you're loyal to the friendship with her, but he didn't deserve the way she's treated him," and they spoke a few minutes about it, though they'd long agreed to let them work it out between the couple.

"Derek," she said after a few minutes of small talk, "Nancy was here…"

"She what," he raised his voice, "damn it all to hell…Meredith…I'm sorry…"

"No," she said softly, "listen to me…please…" and he did, as she told him of their earlier conversation and the evening plans for dinner. "Please…for your mother's sake…just listen to her…and…don't you agree…you'd like your family here when you come home?"

"I don't know," he said to her, "what I've done to deserve you…but I give thanks for you in my life," he said, "every day…and now…Meredith, more than ever…knowing I could have been gone…not forty eight hours ago…we had plans…and all of it…"

"Hey," she said soothingly, "you're going to make me come over there…don't…"

"No," he said, as she heard the emotion in his voice, "not till tomorrow…you agreed to get some rest and proper meals…and…"

"Yes, but now that we have all these people over for dinner…maybe I can slip away…"

"You'd better not…I'd rather you stay home…as much as I want to see you…one night…it's ok…just one night…you can be here tomorrow night."

"I love you Derek," she said, and agreed, only because she knew that in spite of dinner guests, they would not be there all evening so she'd get to bed early, and she did not want to do anything that could in any way affect her pregnancy. Derek would find out soon enough that Bailey had reduced her hours until they could monitor the earlier cramping over the next several days, and that meant as much rest as possible.

"I love you," he said, "I'll call you…before you fall asleep tonight…"

Derek's eyes closed shut not long after speaking with Meredith and woke to find his sister in the room. "Nancy," he said, "how long have you been here?"

"Not too long," she said, "I told Kathleen to go. Maggie's outside, but I wanted to speak to you alone."

"Meredith called me," Derek said, forcing her to meet his gaze.

"What did she say?" Nancy asked.

"That you are going there for dinner," he stated, waiting for his sister to make amends.

"I told her," she said, "I was going to tell you you're very lucky she agreed to be your wife," she said gauging his mood, "she said I should not mention that…and I said…" she repeated what she'd told Meredith and the resentment that had built like a thin layer of ice over part of his heart; part of it only, because the love between siblings was too great for more than that, began to slowly and symbolically defrost.

"What else," he demanded, "did you talk about?"

"I told her," Nancy said, "I'd need to spend the rest of my life thanking her…" she swallowed before speaking again, and her brother bridged the emotional distance.

"Nance," he said, also moved by the emotional depth of the conversation he had no doubt would take place, "come here," he extended his hand, and she reached for it and held it tightly.

"I'm sorry," she said, as he saw a rare show of emotion and tears on her face, "so sorry Derek…" and followed with all that had taken place since she'd left his room, the regret she'd felt at the heartache she'd caused, the shame she'd felt at her mother's words, and shared with her brother the entire conversation with their mother, and the one that followed with Meredith. Slowly, the harsh words exchanged between the siblings in the last days were replaced by understanding found only between people whose deep familial ties and bonds would always serve to guide them to the healing powers of forgiveness.

"So," he said, "you're going to stay…till I'm out of here?"

"If you want me to…" she said, "I'll stay."

"I want you too…" he said, "we need to celebrate…" he pursed his lips as his eyes watered, "I'm alive…and my family is here…"

"And," Nancy said, as moved as he was, "you're married…"

"I'm married," he said, "I swear to you…in my heart…I'm married."

"I know you are," she said, "I have no doubts."

Carolyn Shepherd had indeed needed sleep, and when she woke close to six o'clock she wondered how the conversation had gone between her children, and made her way downstairs and shook her head at the snores coming she followed to the couch, and then saw a note propped on the coffee table, that said Mom on the outside.

"Mom, I took your car and went to the hotel to get some clothes for both of us. I think Meredith really does want company tonight. I'll be back before seven, that's when everyone's supposed to be here for dinner. I'll get dessert, you didn't get any! Love, Jenna."

Carolyn smiled. She had brought dessert earlier, just not one her daughter liked.

The Shepherd family, which included Meredith, had begun to heal their rift. However, her other family members hadn't all been made aware of it.

"You asked mcbitchy to come to your house for dinner," Carolyn heard as she was taking the meat out of the oven and looked over at her daughters.

"You actually deserve that," Carolyn told Nancy.

"Cristina," Meredith said, "stop saying that and lower your voice, she's in the kitchen with Carolyn and Jenna."

"It's not like she doesn't know that's her name," Lexie said, "Mark told me…she's known about it for a long time, and Cristina is right, after the awful way she treated you why would you even talk to her."

"Because," Meredith said, "she's Derek's sister…and I don't want our family to go through years of distance…like I had…"

"Our family," Cristina questioned her. "Who exactly are you referring to?"

When Carolyn had used that pronoun earlier, Meredith had accepted it as the Shepherd family, one she'd been accepted into, but when she used it now, ours had meant the family she and Derek would have…sooner rather than later, her soul smiled.

"Our family," Meredith said, "the one Derek and I will have one day, and he needs his family now, I'm not going to stand in the way of that…"

"Ok," Cristina said, "what the hell's wrong with you? That woman was a bitch, and now you're typically Meredith sweeping it all under the rug…"

"I'm not," Meredith told her, "and if you can't accept that…than…"

"Oh no," Lexie said, "Meredith, you are not going to pull that, or any kind of ultimatum, Cristina is right, what the hell is wrong with you…she said horrible things…"

"Lexie, Cristina," Meredith said resigned to the fact their conversation was likely being overheard in the kitchen, "can't you accept this is…it's what I want…Derek almost died, I almost lost him…in a split second…" she looked at them both, tears begging to gather. "She apologized and I accepted her apology…I don't want any animosity…not right now…please…can you just be there for me…know…that I want this for him…for me…for that family we'll have one day…"

"Mer," Cristina said, "are you dying? I mean…this is not like you. Family talk and dinner…and…you're about to cry…did Bailey find something wrong with you, and you're not telling us?"

No," Meredith actually laughed, if they only knew, her emotions were all over the place as cliché as that sounded, she was going to blame hormones and smiled at the thought of the tiny baby, the tiny baby she thought, that had been behaving fairly well all afternoon, because her cramping had been very mild, almost non existent since she'd come home. "I'm not dying…I just want to be happy…that Derek's ok…he's going to be fine…he'll be home in a few days…and I want him to have his family, and I don't want there to be any more disagreements."

"I'm going to ask Bailey…" Cristina said, "or look at your records…Lexie…you know how to do that…quick glance, photographic memory."

"Ok," Meredith said angrily to them, "that is enough…you will not look at my records, I swear…both of you…if either of you does that…I will never forgive you…"

"Meredith," Cristina said, "I'm joking…sort of…"

"No joking. Cristina, I'm serious…if you do that…you are not trusting me, you're not being my friend…you are not being supportive…" she said, and there were tears, "it means…you don't care about what I'm telling you…"

"Mer," Lexie said, "don't worry…I won't do that…besides getting fired…I won't do that," she told her.

"You're not very reassuring," Meredith told her.

"Meredith," Lexie said, "you're my sister…that means more to me than anything…and she's your sister too," she said referring to Cristina, "and it means a lot to her, even if she won't say it…she won't do it."

"She's right," Cristina said, "I just want to make sure…this is not like you Mer…I need to know you're ok."

"I'm ok," Meredith told them, "please believe me…I'm ok."

Mark walked in from the kitchen a few moments later and greeted Lexie, "you three should learn how to keep your voices down."

"What for?" Meredith asked, "you love the gossip."

"Grey," he teased, "that's beside the point."

"Lexie," Meredith turned to her, "remind me again, what is it about him you like?"

"Great sex," Lexie said.

"You wound me," Mark joked. "I thought it was so much more than that."

Lexie leaned up to kiss him, "so you keep telling me…and I keep believing you."

"Gag me now," Cristina said, and walked toward the kitchen.

Meredith went upstairs and called Miranda Bailey. She was assured her medical file would not be anywhere near the reach of meddling busy bodies, though she advised her to tell Derek she was pregnant as soon as possible.

Dinner was, amazingly so, entertaining and pleasant. Derek's was comforted by the genuine warmth in Meredith's voice as she told him of the evening's camaraderie, including Cristina's comments, which did not have the same soothing effect.

"Meredith," he said, "are you keeping anything from me? Cristina's right…you're not behaving like yourself…you'd tell me…Mer…if something was wrong?"

"Oh for the love of God," she said exasperated, "Derek…there's nothing wrong with me…ask Bailey…nothing that a few good night's sleep won't take care of…"

"You don't have to yell at me," he said, and she could almost see his pout, "just because I care about you…"

"Derek," she said, "you're worse than…" she was going to say than I am…and I've got an excuse, "Jenna…she's entitled to be moody and irrational, you're not."

"Mer," he said softly, seductively, "if we weren't a condom ad… still, I'd say you're acting pretty moody and irrational yourself," she held her breath, "and would wonder if you aren't pregnant."

"Well," she said, measuring her words carefully, she did not want to lie outright. "We have been …a condom ad that is…and don't you think…" she said smiling, "you'd know…I mean wouldn't you be able to tell," she thought of how oblivious they'd both been to the changes in her body; her breasts in particular, but now, she also noted the more rounded hips, and in the last forty eight hours, the emotional roller coaster, which granted could be misinterpreted a result of her fears over the accident.

"I believe I would," he said, his voice low and hoarse, "I know every inch of your body…intimately…"

"You do," she smiled, thinking about how he was going to react when she told him how miserably they'd both failed, two doctors at that, at recognizing the signs of the new life they had created, their little miracle, she thought, just as his mother had mentioned.

"I can't wait," he said, "to be able to…" and for the next several minutes whispered all the ways he wanted to intimately explore her body once again.

"Derek…I miss you so much…"

"I miss you too Meredith, but…I'll be home…in a few days…"

"I'm going to stay with you," she said, "tomorrow night…"

"Mer," he teased, "I don't think I'd be much good here anyway," and her melodious giggle filled the room and they whispered tenders words of love, as they conceded the hour had grown late, even if it was before ten, and both still needed to rest.

"Good night Derek," she said, "I love you."

"I love you too Meredith, see you in the morning."

_A/N – 15 NOV – Thanks to each of you for your continued interest in this story and the many comments you've shared. Laptop got a virus that took over a week to repair, thus unable to write till today. Some of you have wanted Nancy to (justifiably so) get a harsh comeuppance. But, to me, Nancy was the catalyst to create doubts in Mer, that lead to Derek having to own up to his actions (yes, I still can't get over how she took him back so quickly after the bat & lemon comment, Meredith's far more forgiving than I am). _

_Carolyn's conversation with her, telling her how she'd shamed her and the memory of her father, I thought was more effective than a "show down" of sorts, and this chapter truly was written to set the conciliatory tone needed for this family to heal and bond._

_Derek, back in season one, was so clear in expressing his feelings that if he were ever hurt his sisters would be there, that he'd want them there; that sentiment is one that speaks of deep feelings and family ties, and I did not want to lose that, as so many of those insightful glimpses are often lost on Grey's. When Derek hears the news from Meredith that he's going to be a dad…I wanted nothing to mar that joy, and this chapter is meant to make that possible. Please let me know what you think. Warm regards, Jasmin._


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N - Chapter 12...Naturally, this chapter turned out to be different than I expected, as the characters began to talk and talk! But, it was still written around a few scenes I had in mind and developed dialogue around them. _

_Part of the reason I've written fanfiction is to reconcile in my mind (which does not mean my views are right) that which made no sense on Grey's. One of those is the lack of meaning, or rather follow up, to Derek's comment in season one._

_If he were sick in a hospital he told Meredith, he'd want his sisters there; they would want to be there. His sister traveled across the country overnight to make sure he was ok when he failed to make it to the traditional family holidays; his mother accepted Meredith, giving up her ring and then he batted it away; none of it makes sense that they would plan a wedding and once the mention of his family attending. _

_Hence, this chapter...I hope in some small way has explored what his family means to him, what they mean to each other, and how his family could ultimately become her own. _

_Meredith, we've been told got whole & healed. I'd like to think she really has. Hope you are not disappointed. There will be one more chapter and then an epilogue, as I think you may like to meet Baby Shepherd before this story is done._

_Thank you again, for your enthusiasm and support of this story. Warm regards, Jasmin_

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 12**

Carolyn Shepherd lay quietly in the unfamiliar bed; after two nights of no more than a couple restless hours filled with anxiety and concern over Derek's condition, grateful she'd finally had a restful night. Then, on top of that, in the last twenty four hours she'd experienced an emotional roller coaster as a result of the recent and unexpected events in her children's life.

The sun's rays were filtered by the light curtain covering the window, the light breeze providing a pleasant cool temperature in the early October morning. Carolyn smiled as she thought of the difference a few hours had made, and as she reflected in her usual morning prayers gave thanks for having her family together.

"Carolyn," Meredith called out, failing to recognize the sound of her own voice.

"Carolyn…" she said, much louder, as fear gripped every ounce of her body.

Carolyn quickly rose from the bed when she head the faint sound of her voice the first time, and then rushed to her side at the tone of the second, "Meredith, what's wrong?"

"I'm not feeling well…I …" she brought her hand to her mouth and ran to the bathroom, where Derek's mother followed as soon as she heard the all too familiar and dreaded signs of morning sickness.

"Oh God," Meredith said, her voice exhausted before another bout of vomiting, and didn't even notice when Carolyn held her hair back, and then helped her get up.

"Let me help you," Carolyn put her arm around Meredith's waist, "back to bed."

"I don't know," Meredith said, "I've been like this…for the last hour…"

"Sweetheart, why didn't you call me before?"

"It wasn't this bad," Meredith said, and took careful slow steps to the bed. "This is the first morning it's been like this for so long, and I thought I was ok, but when I got up, right before I called you…I felt so faint…the whole room was spinning…"

"I wish I could tell you it's going to get better," Carolyn placed a damp washcloth on her forehead, "but…each pregnancy is different."

"If this is what it's like," Meredith said, "every morning…this may be an only child."

Carolyn smiled, "that's what I told my husband…when I was pregnant with Kathleen…"

"You did…" Meredith said, "but, she was the first."

"You forget," Carolyn spoke softly, "the minute you hold that baby in your arms…you forget."

"This," Meredith said, "is pretty bad to forget."

"Trust me," Carolyn smiled. "I'm going to get you a cup of hot ginger tea…and some crackers…"

"Carolyn, we don't have any of that."

"Of course you do," Carolyn removed the wash cloth from Meredith's forehead, "I bought some yesterday when I went to get what we needed for dinner."

"You did…"

"I have two pregnant girls to take care of…" his mother smiled.

"Thank you," Meredith said and tried to fight off another wave of nausea.

"Don't talk," his mother kissed her forehead, "close your eyes. I'll be back shortly."

Carolyn walked in the bedroom holding a tray to find Meredith gone, and was going to check on her, when she saw her making her way back to the bed.

"This will help," Carolyn told her.

"Oh," Meredith protested, "the taste…"

"Take small sips, I can dilute it a bit more for tomorrow…I don't want you having too much ginger, but a couple of cups a day is more than safe to drink, and it does help."

Meredith did as she was instructed, while Carolyn sat by her on the bed and continued the gentle mothering.

"You're very kind, Carolyn, thank you."

"You're my daughter in law…and you're having my grandchild…and I know how crappy it is to feel this way. I'm glad I'm here to help."

Meredith lifted her head off the pillow, and gave up as she felt the annoying momentary dizziness.

"Lay back," Carolyn insisted. "You're not going anywhere."

"I have to," Meredith said with her eyes closed. "Derek's expecting me to be there."

"You are going to stay here and get some rest and when you feel better; you can go to the hospital and see your husband."

"You're mad at us," Meredith said intuitively, "aren't you? About the wedding."

Carolyn did not answer right away. "I understood when you changed the wedding date, and I wished we could have all been here. But I don't necessarily understand," she said, "why you gave away your wedding…perhaps if I'd insisted that my family make last minute arrangements too…and had we been here, there might have still been a wedding."

"Carolyn," Meredith said, "I know you don't understand…it just happened…" Meredith spoke for a few minutes about the last minute changes they'd made that day.

"What you did for your friends was lovely. You are his wife, in his heart," Carolyn accepted, "so you are my daughter in law. I have no issue with that," she said, and after speaking to her a while longer convinced her to stay home a few more hours.

"Derek knows I'm an early riser," his mother said, "so it won't surprise him to see me. You stay here, and use Jenna as an excuse for being late. She can be the one that went through the morning sickness ordeal this morning," his mother said, and indeed made her way to Seattle Grace after leaving a cup of ginger tea and a note for her daughter on the nightstand.

"Mom," Derek began to question her immediately when she walked in, early on the fourth day of their ordeal, "where's Meredith, what's wrong with her? She said you and Jenna were staying last night…and she had you all for dinner…it's not like her…she doesn't do families…not that she can't…but something must be wrong…she's not acting like herself…Mom…talk to me…is she still mad at me, maybe that's it…why she's not here."

"Derek sweetheart," Carolyn Shepherd smiled at her son. "It's barely seven in the morning, she was still in bed when I left."

"She's used to getting up early…" he said, "and she told me she asked Bailey to work while I'm here…so she can take a few days when I come home, but even that didn't make sense…I know she used that as an excuse yesterday…"

"Derek," his mother said**, **"I asked Kathleen yesterday if she'd get me a prescription of valium…"

"Why…Mom, something's really going on…you don't take tranquilizers…tell me…"

"Because," she chose to make light of the situation, while attempting to reassure him. "I'd just had to deal with your sister's hormonal outburst, and then Meredith decided she'd share a bit of her dark twisty thoughts, so I told Kathleen I'd need help to cope. I don't think I can handle your sister's pregnancy, especially Jenna, in addition to Meredith's," she paused for a moment letting that hang in the air briefly, "irrational thoughts, and now you…I'm old son…cut me some slack…"

"I'm not being irrational," Derek protested, "but you're right that Meredith has been," and he chuckled slightly, "and you're not old."

"Tell your wife that," Carolyn told him without revealing the overwhelming happiness she felt that her son was finally going to be a father, "and Derek," his mother smiled, "trust me. You're being irrational…and I don't mean just since I've been here…but since the moment you thought it was perfectly ok to consider a post it note a marriage."

"Mom…"

"Don't you Mom me, Derek Christopher…"

"Can we wait…to talk about this…I've just had surgery," she saw through his tactic to divert the conversation and his attempt failed at changing the subject.

"You didn't seem to have any issues with that when you and your sister made a scene and spectacle of this family yesterday."

"Mom…"

"No, Derek," Carolyn stated emphatically. "That was inexcusable behavior from both of you."

"I talked to Nancy," he said, "she told me about your conversation. We're ok."

"But," his mother said with deep sadness, "I'm not."

"Ma," he said with genuine remorse that he had been responsible for upsetting her; while grateful she did not know the full extent of the argument. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are," Carolyn said, "but do you have any idea how it made me feel, to see my two children arguing as you were…to know that not only had I been on the verge of losing my son," she paused to regain her composure, "but that my family was also tearing itself apart by pettiness and hateful words…"

"Mom," he said, "Nancy…she told me what you said to her. I know, I deserve some of that too…because how I behaved would also make you and dad ashamed…"

"Since your Dad died, I've kept his family together Derek, and I am not about to ever jeopardize that…and what happened yesterday I don't understand. Yes, I spoke to Nancy and she and Meredith have talked, but there was more to it and nobody will tell me. But, I will find out eventually…because I can't have something hanging over our heads ready to resurface and explode at any time and tear my family apart," Carolyn said just as Meredith and Jenna arrived.

"There you are," Carolyn said, quickly changing the subject. "I was beginning to think you were both going to sleep till noon today."

Meredith walked up to Derek and smiled, "did you sleep well? How are you feeling?"

"Yes, and better now that you're here," he told her. "How about you? Did you get some rest?"

"I did," she said and brushed his lips with hers.

"I was worried about you…" Derek said. "I thought you worked out a schedule with Bailey, but you weren't here this morning for rounds."

"I'm fine," Meredith said, "but your Mom left very early and then Jenna wasn't feeling well, so I couldn't really leave her at home."

"Jenna," Derek asked her, "morning sickness already?"

"With a vengeance," she said, repeating the story Meredith had told her to go along with the temporary farce. "This baby," she said, and both Meredith and Carolyn knew she was talking about Meredith's, "is determined to make her presence felt, or his…I guess…but with our record, chances are it's a girl, and making her mom miserable this morning. Mom," she continued, bringing Carolyn up to date, "not even the ginger tea helped this morning, and had to deal with another bout of...you know the drill."

Meredith had indeed experienced a couple more incidents of vomiting before they left for the hospital, and it was clearly reflected in the very pale complexion even makeup, which she hardly ever wore, couldn't conceal.

"You don't look worse for wear Jenna," Derek chuckled, "not even a trace of it," and reached for Meredith's hand and brought it to his lips, "I think Meredith looks a lot paler than you do."

"Well," Meredith said with a very quick recovery, "I can tell you…I found out I've a very weak stomach…when it came to helping Jenna…I found myself feeling just as nauseous as she did when I saw all she went through this morning."

"She was a trooper Derek," Jenna smiled softly at her, "she was right there with me as the baby decided she wanted nothing left in my stomach." Meredith smiled as she recalled the huge amount of breakfast Jenna had devoured; the sight of eggs and tomatoes responsible for her rushing out of the kitchen and barely making it to the first floor bathroom.

"Jenna," he said, "I'm sorry...it will just be a few more weeks…and I'm glad Mer was there with you."

"Yes," Meredith said, "I'm glad I was there too. Now let's change the subject, because just the thought of it…"

Miranda Bailey came in the room and took in Meredith's demeanor and figured she was going to be out for most of the day. "Shepherd, how are you feeling? They tell me you weren't very cooperative yesterday and barely got out of this bed."

"That is not true," Derek told her. "I went for several walks."

"So short apparently," Miranda said, "your resident in charge brought it to my attention."

"Yang's just taking her revenge," Derek said. "She told me herself, on behalf of all the wrongs I've ever inflicted…"

"Don't," Meredith stopped him, and leaned in to whisper in his ear, "please, not in front of your Mom, she's upset enough with us."

Derek saw how upset Meredith was herself, "I told her I'd walk as long as she wanted today."

"You'd better," Miranda said, "so we can send you home. You're too disruptive to the staff…I heard every nurse was in here last night…happy to be treating Mc. Dreamy."

"What…" Meredith turned to him, "I'm gone one night…and you're flirting with the nurses," and he witnessed an unexpected change as she let go of his hand and he saw the glimmer of tears, "all you said on the phone was just…"

"Meredith," he took her hand back in his and smiled, but their smile failed miserably, "you don't believe that."

"What," her hand felt stiff in his, "that you'd flirt with nurses…or one in particular…"

"Mer," he said confused at her reaction, "they came in here…I didn't ask for …"

"Grey," Miranda Bailey spoke up, she was not about to get sucked into a hormone induced jealous misunderstanding, "you were late for rounds…and you better have a good excuse…go meet up with your interns."

"Yes, Dr. Bailey," she said, grateful for the intervention, she had no idea what had made her say the things she did, because she did not think Derek would be flirting with the nurses.

"Meredith," he said called out to her quietly.

"We'll be back," Carolyn said and pulled on Jenna's arm, "I'm sure you two want a few minutes alone before Meredith starts her shift."

"What's left of it," Miranda said as she turned to walk out of the room, "since she's already three hours late."

"Meredith," Derek said as he caressed her hand in his and pulled her closer, "I fell asleep after we spoke last night…if there was anyone here…I wasn't even aware of it."

"I know," she admitted and kissed him tenderly, "don't pay attention to me," she smiled, "I think it's all Jenna's fault, her hormones are all over the place, it's contagious I think," she tested the waters. "She was telling me her husband will be walking on egg shells for the next several weeks, since she never knows how she's going to react…to the smallest of things…"

"So…her crying and her irrational thoughts," he teased her, "are contagious…"

"And the nausea," Meredith rolled her eyes, "it seems…if this morning was an indication."

"Are you ok?" he asked her with concern.

"Yes," she said, again testing the waters, "but I really feel bad for her husband…"

"Why?" Derek asked not sure about the reason she'd say this.

"We were talking this morning, and apparently this can go on for weeks…and she's more emotional than normal, you know…crying…and just…irrational…she told me how sometimes she doesn't even understand herself why she reacts the way she does," Meredith told him, describing exactly the way she had been feeling, especially since the night of his accident.

"Rob adores her," Derek smiled, "and dotes on her and the girls, you know how you complain that I hover…he's ten times worse…especially when she's pregnant."

"Would it bother you…" she asked cautiously, "if…we ever have kids…if I start behaving like Jenna?"

"That's what's been bothering you…" he said as he caressed her face tenderly, "what I said yesterday, about not being ready."

"No," she attempted to deny what he'd said, as it went so much deeper than that, and she wished her insecurities were a thing of the past.

"Meredith," he said softly, "what I said yesterday…I didn't want my sisters pressuring you and I knew Jenna would talk non-stop about babies, and I can wait," he cupped her face and kissed her softly, "I can wait…until you're ready."

Meredith's eyes grew cloudy as tears gathered, "so…you still want my crappy babies …"

"No," he said, and felt her stiffen for the half second it took for him to say, "I want your babies…our babies…but they will not be crappy babies ever…because they'll have an extraordinary mother, who believed we could be extraordinary together…"

All the emotions she'd been holding back broke through as dramatically as the proverbial dam and he was thankful for no longer being attached to monitors, so he could quickly, though painfully as his body protested, gather her into his arms and began whispering tender words of love and comfort. "Meredith, please don't cry…of course I want our babies…and you're right…we'll have adorable babies…that I hope look like you," he said which only made the tears flow faster, because so far, they'd been silent tears.

"You…" she wiped away her tears, "you really mean that…you want my babies…you're not doubting that…with my crappy genes."

"I want our babies," he cupped her face in one hand as his other smoothed her hair softly, "whenever you want…whenever you're ready for us to try…I'll be ready…"

"Derek," she said, "you're not just saying it…because I was upset."

"I'm saying it," he smiled at her, "because it's what I've always wanted for us," then he kissed her. "Whenever you're ready…but, if for any reason…any reason at all," he told her, "you decide it's not what you want…then, I'll be ready for that too…because, you are all I need in my life… all I need to make my life complete."

"Oh Derek," she pursed her lips, and she closed her eyes, "I love you…"

"I love you too," he said, and kissed her eyelids, and then kissed away the tears on her cheeks.

Miranda Bailey had no reason to believe Meredith was still in Derek's room and walked in followed by one of the respiratory therapists. "Shepherd, I've told," she stopped dead in her tracks. "Grey, what are you still doing here? You're supposed to have met up with your interns," she looked at her watch, "at least twenty minutes ago."

"Dr. Bailey," Derek warned.

"What," Bailey responded, and glanced over to Meredith, then turned to the therapist. "Greene, go to your next patient, then come back to Dr. Shepherd's room."

"Dr. Bailey, I'm going to go now," Meredith said.

"Wait," Miranda said, "Shepherd, what is wrong with you? Upsetting her all over again…I thought we had this conversation earlier…that…"

"Dr. Bailey," Meredith interrupted, "I'm fine…I'm not upset."

"Oh, really," Miranda Bailey put her hand on her hip, "you're not upset…that's why I walk in here and find you blubbering all over this stupid man…when you were supposed to be working…may I remind you of the schedule I gave you, when the Chief expressly said you should be off …so you could be with your husband," she paused and shook her head, "oh but that is even painful to say…what are you two…eight year old's playing house?"

Meredith could actually see the humor in her comment and laughed, and catching them both off guard repeated what Nancy had told her when Meredith asked her to tell her all she'd said to Derek the day before, "that's what his sister said, his sister Nancy…not the others...well, not the eight year old part, but the playing house part."

"You know about that," Derek questioned her.

"You find this funny?" Miranda asked in a most no nonsense tone.

"Yes," Meredith said. "I do, but I know Derek's angry as hell with you right now."

"Grey," Miranda said, attempting not to laugh herself; this was going to be one hell of a rollercoaster ride for Derek Shepherd, and it served him right, for all the crap he'd put Meredith through. "Get to work," she said and then turned to her and met her gaze, "and do not change the assignments I gave you."

"Yes, Dr. Bailey," she said, and turned to give Derek a kiss. "I'll stop in and check on your later."

"Don't go slacking off now," Bailey told her. "You can come in here on your scheduled break only."

Before Meredith had a chance to leave the room, an angry Cristina Yang threw the door open and said, "Shepherd, I'm going to kick you ass if you screw around with my schedules again, I sent the respiratory…" she stopped. "And what, are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be working? Isn't that what you asked Dr. Bailey for, and now you're slacking off…and without doubt the reason he sent the respiratory guy away...do you want him home or not? Leave, now…he needs to get out of bed and exercise."

"Yang," Bailey smirked, "he's all yours. Do your worst."

"Hey," Derek protested, "Miranda…this is all your fault, I didn't do anything…"

"Unless," Miranda turned to stare him down, "you want her to be so busy she can't take a break," she warned, "do as Yang says," and pushed Meredith out of the room.

Carolyn who'd been sitting close by the room, waiting for Meredith to leave, got up to meet up with her and Bailey. "Meredith, is everything all right?"

"That's exactly what I want to know," Bailey said. "Grey, come sit down," she said and left no option for Meredith to follow her to the sitting area. "Don't you know better…I told you to get some rest and what do I find…you back in that room crying…"

"You were crying," Carolyn said with concern, "Meredith…what's wrong?"

"Oh God," Meredith rolled her eyes, "just my luck…two mother hens…and soon…a husband who's going to drive me to drink…with his hovering…"

"Drink…" Carolyn and Bailey both said.

"Milk," Meredith said quickly, "I'll drink milk," she smiled. "Thank you…" she said, and both women heard the sincerity in her voice. "For caring about me…about us," she said, "and our baby."

"What are you doing to take care of that baby? Didn't we send you home to rest?" Bailey demanded to know.

"Dr. Bailey," Meredith told her, "I went home…and Carolyn fussed and made a home cooked meal…and I did get some rest."

"You were not scheduled to be here till one o'clock today…a five hour shift Grey, that's it, and no surgeries…we want you off your feet, Cameron and I until we know…"

"Dr. Bailey," Meredith said, "the cramping is almost gone…"

"His sister," Bailey said, "I don't know which one, she told me you'd had a very rough morning today."

"She meant morning sickness," Meredith said, "and it was bad…but I'm ok now, and Derek would be going crazy if I didn't come in…so I had to…"

"All you have to do," Bailey told her, "is follow the schedule I gave you…which is crazy, since I think you should be off, spend it with that non husband of yours, don't glare at me…you're not married. I'm not judging…I'm not. But, you're not married, so you're not husband and wife, and that's the end of what I'm going to say about that. Now, if you experience any more cramping…you are to get off your feet and you need to call Cameron."

"Dr. Bailey," Meredith smiled at her, "I'm not going to do anything that could harm the baby."

Bailey conceded, "Meredith…I know that. Just don't over do it…"

"I think the only thing I may be overdoing …"

"Is her crying," Carolyn chuckled, "which according to Jenna, you did this morning at home and on the way to work…"

"She has some nerve," Meredith interrupted her, "she truly is a dripping faucet…which is the reason she had me going...over a commercial…about a little girl…"

"Sweetheart," Carolyn chuckled, "she's more than that…she's…"

"Mom," Jenna said appearing suddenly and taking a seat next to her mother, "you were saying."

"That I love how you two have bonded," Carolyn said and hugged first Jenna and then Meredith, "over irrational and sentimental tears."

"Meredith," Bailey said before walking away, "page me if you need anything. Oh, and one trick to morning sickness that worked with me, eat smaller meals…rather than just regular ones," then she laughed. "Forget that…talk to your mother in law, she's got more hands on pregnancy expertise than I ever will, thank God," she mumbled, "what is it five kids and twenty grandkids?"

"Fourteen," Carolyn corrected her laughing, "sixteen now."

"What's going on?" Derek's sister Maggie joined them.

"Sit down," her mother said, "and I'll fill you in. Where are your sisters?"

"Kathleen was going to make some calls to patients, reassure them she'd be back next week and Nancy was doing the same thing. They'll be here later. We're going to take turns so Derek has someone with him all the time."

"Speaking of which," his mother said as she got up, "I'll go in there for a bit now," she walked alongside Meredith, "do as Dr. Bailey said."

"Mom," Jenna protested, "I haven't had any time to spend with Derek…not like the girls did, even Nancy."

"Let's go my little water faucet," Carolyn Shepherd teased her daughter, "Maggie?"

His sisters and mother kept each other company while Derek was taken for his walk and actually spent most of the morning with him.

"Mom," Derek asked a bit incredulous, when he returned to the room after his walk and remembered something she had said earlier, "Meredith told you that you're old?"

"Not quite like that," Carolyn tried to keep from smiling.

"Mom…" Derek said, "Meredith…she'd never…"

"She did call me old," his mother said, "but…she was only expressing her concern that I should get some rest as I'd been traveling all day."

"You're not mad at her…"

"Sweetheart," Carolyn placed her hand on his cheek, "she's your wife, and she's been put through an emotional wringer the past few days…I can forgive her just about anything right now."

"She really would Derek," Jenna laughed, "even when she told me she hated me…"

"Jenna," Carolyn shot her a warning glare.

"She was kidding of course," Jenna said, "but Mom and Kathleen freaked out a bit…" she said, "and took it completely out of context."

"And what context was that," Derek insisted.

"She," Meredith said as she caught the last of the conversation when she stopped in briefly, after she'd been forced by Bailey to take a nap and not start her shift until one as she'd been scheduled, "lied to me, and made up this entire story about how upset your mother was that she did not know we were engaged."

Jenna looked at Meredith and laughed; her sister in law had totally taken an incident out of context herself to keep the truth from her brother; surely, she thought there was some way to speed up Meredith's plan to tell Derek she was pregnant, because if not, she was gong to blurt it out without meaning to as she could not wait to talk about the excitement of two new babies in the family.

"Mom knew," Derek said defensively.

"I know," Meredith reached his bedside and gave him a light kiss on the lips. "Your sister just uses being pregnant as an excuse for everything."

Maggie, who had no idea of Meredith's pregnancy, commented, "Meredith, you have no idea …but believe me, of all of us, she is the master in milking pregnancy for all it's worth. She has Rob wrapped around her little finger…and now with a third baby on the way, the man is as good as totally whipped," she teased her sister.

"I hope," Jenna told her, "you get pregnant…with triplets. All girls!"

"An Irish blessing," Carolyn laughed. "Well done dear. But, I'm going to be countering that with lots of prayers to St. Jude," she said and all except Meredith laughed.

Derek held her hand and smiled, "Irish blessings," he chuckled, "very often are followed with a bit of a curse…"

"Derek Christopher," Carolyn reprimanded, "don't ever talk about curses and babies in the same sentence."

"Ma," he smiled, "I'm just explaining to Meredith, she's not familiar…"

"Well," Carolyn said, "that is no way to refer to babies…believe me…"

"Really," Jenna said, "then what was that about St. Jude?"

"That will just be a prayer to St. Jude," Carolyn said, "that if Maggie's pregnant again," she paused and winked at Maggie, "with triplets, they will be boys. Balance things out a bit…"

"Mom," Maggie laughed, "I am not getting pregnant, three kids are enough, and…I'm getting too old…"

"No such thing," Kathleen said as she walked in to hear her sister's statement and smiled, "ask Nancy…thirties…anything goes…make sure you and John remember that."

"Ok," Maggie said, "enough pregnancy talk…let's leave that to Jenna now. Clearly, she's the only one having a baby anytime soon."

"I wouldn't bet on that," Nancy laughed, and all eyes turned to her.

"Why not?" Carolyn asked cautiously.

"Because," Nancy said, "John's been hinting at a fourth baby for a long time, and when they were at the house last weekend, he kept teasing Maggie about another one.."

"Bite your tongue," Maggie said, "he was drunk…well, not drunk…but he'd had three drinks that night, and you know he can't hold liquor worth a damn…"

"I'm not so sure…" Nancy said, "Maggie…that's…"

"Maybe you're the one…" Maggie said to Nancy.

"Not a chance," Nancy laughed, "are you kidding, another one after forty…poor baby, mcbitchy would probably be nothing and understatement…if I were pregnant now,"she said, "and yes… I know about that…"

"Well," Meredith said, in yet another conciliatory overture toward his sister, "you should tone down the mchottie then…just to be sure…"

"Meredith," Nancy said, "I have to tell you…my trip…short as it was; was worth it, just to see Derek and know he would be fine. But, in addition to that, the mchottie nickname, my husband's getting a kick out of it," she winked at Meredith, "a lot…"

"Ok," Derek said, "I get it…you're all getting lots of sex…enough details have been shared."

"Speaking of details," Meredith said, "Kathleen wherever did you…" she was interrupted by Dr. Sullivan walking in the room.

"Look at this," Sullivan joked, "the whole Irish clan. No rosary's today," he joked, "thank God. Ladies," he turned and smiled, "I'm afraid I need to talk to my patient."

"Dr. Sullivan is something wrong?" Meredith jumped to her own conclusions right away.

"Only that I want to examine my patient," Sullivan replied, "without a dozen spectators."

"We're all doctors," Nancy said, "and Mom was a nurse, pretend we're interns…"

"Five doctors," Sullivan pondered, "and a nurse. All the more reason…all of you out," Sullivan smiled, "I'm not having five critics, except the wife…she can stay."

"Dr. Sullivan," Kathleen was the one to protest now, "surely…"

"You're the psychiatrist," he joked, "manipulation won't work with me."

"That's not what we do," Kathleen argued with him.

"I'm joking," Sullivan laughed, "but not about staying. Go, I only need a few minutes."

"How the hell did you survive growing up?" Sullivan chuckled, when his family was gone, "and now…a jealous wife."

"I am not," Meredith said.

"I'm only repeating what I've heard from the nurses, that Grey was giving them death glares since Bailey apparently told her there'd been some talk of flirting with McDreamy that night before."

"Dr. Sullivan," Meredith challenged him. "Can I speak to you not as a resident, but…"

"As a jealous wife," he replied quite amused.

"Yes," she said, and smiled as Derek reached for her hand.

"Go right ahead," Sullivan said.

"You're not a very good liar," she said.

Sullivan chuckled heartedly, "that wasn't my intention."

"Oh…" she said, "what was?"

"Getting you to admit…to being a jealous wife," he winked at her. "You have nothing to worry about Meredith," he told her, "I was here last night…so was Bailey, and all he did was grill her…make sure she'd read your rest results properly, that there wasn't something they'd missed."

"I'm fine," Meredith told him. "But, what about Derek, how is he doing?"

"Derek is recovering very well. There was absolutely no sign of fluids or blood draining, so we removed the tube late yesterday afternoon, and the incision is healing well and hisl lungs are clear. Under normal circumstances," Sullivan continued, now that he'd examined Derek, "I would keep you here a full week after surgery…two surgeries at that…"

"That's another four days," Meredith said, and Derek saw the vulnerability in her eyes, "before he's home…that's too long…" she said, thinking out loud, that it was too long to wait to tell him she was pregnant. She wanted desperately to share the news with him. Her doubts were increasingly diminishing with each passing moment; he'd meant his promises of forever…he had no doubts about spending his life with her, and her eyes began to water.

"Meredith," Sullivan looked at her and smiled, "I said under normal circumstances…and since those are anything but with Derek. He will have five doctors to drive him nuts at home and a mother that was a nurse, and all of you know what he needs to do, so if he continues to heal as he is…I see no reason why he can't go home in a couple days…"

"Oh," she said as let out the breath she'd been holding, "thank God…a couple days…"

"Doctors," Sullivan cracked the door open and called out, "you can join us…"

"It's too bad," Jenna said, "you're not single…and older ..."

"Why is that?" Sullivan asked.

"We'd hook you up with Mom…"

"Jenna," Carolyn Shepherd reprimanded her. "Are you out of your mind? I've never …"

"No Mom," Jenna hugged her, "he's even Irish…"

"Jenna," Derek said seriously, "that is in very bad taste."

"I know," Jenna said, presumably contrite, "I really don't understand it myself…what comes over me when I'm pregnant that I say the damndest most inappropriate things," she met Meredith's gaze with a twinkling smile.

"Another grandchild," Sullivan said, "congratulations Mrs. Shepherd."

"Thank you Dr. Sullivan, and please do excuse Jenna's…"

"Don't mention it, I have three kids…Shepherd," Sullivan laughed, "get ready…when it's your turn…from what I've seen so far…Grey pregnant is going to be one hell of a roller coaster ride."

"I can't wait," Derek said without hesitation, as he reached for her hand and kissed it tenderly. "I love rides," he locked gazes with Meredith, "especially with you," he whispered.

"Not too soon," Sullivan leaned in and said quietly for only Derek to hear, "you'll have a bit of a wait for that …"

Derek laughed and said, "way to spoil my day."

"What did he say?" Meredith asked him.

Derek pulled her in close to him, "tell you later…"

"You're coming home…" Meredith said, and he noticed her voice quivered slightly, "just two more days…"

"Hey…you're beginning to worry me," he whispered, "Mer…why are you so sentimental?"

"I almost lost you…" she sniffled, "but you're ok…just two days…no more waiting…"

"I've only been here three days…"

"I know…" she said as she thought, three nights longer than I wanted to keep a secret…three days that you should have known about our baby. "I'll stop in again later," she smiled, as she realized it was almost one and time for her shift to start. "I have some work to finish," and kissed him softly.

"Meredith," Kathleen said, "we'll see you for dinner, we thought we'd stay close. Mark suggested Joe's across the street."

"I'm not going anywhere," Meredith said, "I'm going to stay with Derek."

"You have to eat," Kathleen said, "he can be alone a bit."

"I don't want him to be alone," Meredith argued.

"Meredith, go on," Derek said, "we'll talk later."

The early afternoon, in spite of the lighter schedule she'd been given, took its toll, and she experienced a bit of cramping, milder than before, but enough to make her way to the resident's lounge to hopefully stretch out on the couch as she updated charts. Unfortunately, or rather fortunately, as she and Derek would discuss in the days ahead, Cristina walked in just as Meredith's hormones were on sentimental overdrive.

"What," Cristina said as she looked at Meredith standing in front of her cubby, holding a small stuffed rabbit, "are you doing?"

"What…" Meredith turned quickly, guilt an expression Cristina quickly recognized.

"What are you doing here?" Meredith countered, and placed the rabbit inside a gift bag.

"I asked first," Cristina said, "and why are you all teary eyed? What has he done now?"

"Stop it Cristina," Meredith said, "he hasn't done anything."

"That's not what I heard…"

"Well, you heard wrong," Meredith told her as she walked to sit on the couch, and Cristina followed. "What do you want?"

"What's with the rabbit?" Cristina asked her.

"It's," Meredith made something up, "for his sister Jenna, she's pregnant. She talked about it last night at dinner."

"Appropriate," Cristina smirked, "that family breeds like rabbits."

Meredith actually smiled, "they do have a lot of kids…"

"Mer," Cristina said, "two kids…per sister…I can see…but they have like twenty."

"Fourteen," Meredith corrected, "for now…"

"Oh no," Cristina said, "don't tell me you're letting all the baby talk get to you…it's toxic Mer…just like the nursery."

"Babies," Meredith told her and involuntarily her hand rested on her abdomen, "are not toxic…and don't say that around Carolyn."

"So…" Cristina said plopping down next to her friend and putting her feet up on the table, as she began to peel a banana, "the mother in law has become Carolyn, and the bitchy sister was invited to dinner, what's next? A family vacation?"

"Don't you have anything else to do?" Meredith said, as her eyes began to water, "can't you try to understand family is important to him…and he's close to them…and I don't want to be the cause of alienating them…and she's not so bad…"

"She's not so bad," Cristina almost choked on the banana, "the woman that sent you into the depth of despair…"

"She did not. She did fly out to see him," she found herself defending her sister in law. Derek's brush with death and her pregnancy, she paused in reflection, had made her look at her life in a very different light, even if dark and twisty was never far behind, "and you don't do that…fly across the country overnight …if you don't care…deeply for someone."

"Ok…earth to Meredith…what the hell's wrong with you…the invasion of the body snatchers? This is not my person…she was a bitch and she got to you…and now, you're all sentimental and buying baby gifts for his other sister…who are you?" Cristina said just as her pager went off, "shit 9-1-1…well finish this later," she said as she rushed out, but as fate would have it, there would be no chance to see Meredith that afternoon.

"Yang," Alex said to Cristina several hours later, "what the hell's wrong with Mer? I just finished my shift and went in to get my things, and the minute she saw me, she put away this," he made a face, "dude…a rabbit…and she was crying."

"Derek's sister is pregnant," Cristina told him, "she got her a gift for the kid."

"Dude," Alex smirked, "that's fitting, they breed like rabbits."

"That's what I said," Cristina retorted, and continued walking, but the more she thought about it, the more she wondered if this was Meredith turning back to dark and twisty. Not that it should matter, but while Dereks' sister had just announced she was pregnant and the family was happy about it, all Meredith had was a post it note from Shepherd, the announcement of which had not gone over well with this family, at least if rumors were to be believed, and at Seattle Grace they were more often than not on the right track.

"Good," Cristina said as pushed a wheelchair into Derek's room, "you're alone. Get out of bed, you're coming with me."

"What's going on Yang?"

"Derek," Cristina said, shocking the hell out of him that she used his first name, "I'm not here as a doctor, but as her person…and you have got to do something about her."

"What's going on," Derek became concerned, "Cristina…what's wrong with her…is she ok? Bailey keeps telling me she is…but what the hell is wrong with my wife?"

"Ok…first of all," Cristina told him, "stop calling her that. She is not your wife, and I think that's why she's upset. Your sisters all made a big deal out of it…so figure it out."

"What happened, she was ok earlier…"

"Look," Cristina said, "all I know is I walked in the lounge and she's there …and this is my person, who I don't recognize; she's turned into a walking water faucet that's reverted to childhood. First it was anatomy Jane, and now she's carrying around a bunny in her bag, and she said it was a gift for your sister, but the thing is old and worn…and she had Mcbitchy over for dinner, and your mother spent the night…and I asked her if she was dying or something and she threatened…"

"Take me to her," Derek said as he began to get out of bed, "I need to see her…now…"

"Not so fast," Cristina walked up to him and helped him out of bed, "if anything happens to you she'll kick my ass," she smirked, "and I think you better put on a robe, cause if Mer knows the entire floor has got a glimpse of …McAss," she laughed at her own joke.

"Cristina…" he said in a warning tone.

"Lighten up Shepherd. I'm taking you to her, and you better find out what the hell's going on with her…I already told her it felt like the invasion of the body snatchers."

"Stop talking," Derek told her, "get me that robe," he said pointing to the navy robe Meredith had brought along earlier with some other personal items.

"You owe me for this," Cristina said, "I expect you're going to help me get in…"

"You'd bargain for surgeries," Derek asked, "in exchange for helping your person?"

"No…I'm doing that for free," she said. "Getting Sloan and Owen to guard the two doors to the lounge, so you can get to the bottom of this, cause believe me, this is Mer…it won't be easy. That's what you owe me for," Cristina said as she began to wheel him out of the room, and suddenly felt his hand over hers.

"Thank you," he said. "You're right…something's going on with her…and it will probably take a while…for Meredith to tell me." Both remained silent until they reached the door to the resident's lounge, neither would have guessed what it was that had made Meredith suddenly sentimental, both would be in for the most unexpected revelation.

Mark held the door open, and Derek asked for him to help him out of the chair, he only got a glimpse of her back, but the way her shoulders were slumped, he knew there was something she was holding back, and as he walked slowly to stand in front of her, he saw how she was fighting to hold back her emotions.

"Meredith," he said; his voice a gentle tender balm, and the minute she saw him, she broke down, and he bridged the distance between them and sat down so he could embrace her, and buried his face in the crook of her neck, while he caressed her back gently and kissed her, once, twice; the top of her head, her temple, and she allowed all the tears she'd been holding back to freely flow.

Derek assumed Meredith's emotional reaction was partly due to the lingering effect of Nancy's words. "Mer," he soothed, "what's wrong…please don't cry like this…I don't like to see you so upset…"

How could she tell him, she thought as she continued to cry, that she was pregnant. How could she just blurt it out, she'd had this romantic…sentimental moment planned, and she wanted that, she didn't want to blurt it out in the locker room, while she was a blubbering mess of tears.

"Mer," he whispered, his hands never stopped their gentle trail of caresses up and down her back, "I love you…please, tell me what's wrong…"

"Every…"she finally calmed down enough to say, "everything's wrong…"

"Ok…" he was too impatient to wait for her to continue. "Tell me…all of it," he prompted.

She sniffled, and took a couple of deep broken breaths, "it's everything…"

"Everything…" he traced her tears away, "like what?"

"George died," she said through another spell of tears, "and Izzie's gone…and Alex's miserable and moping…and you…you almost…"

"I'm here, Meredith…I'm here…" he reassured her.

"And I can't stop crying," she said miserably.

"Why don't you try," he smiled, "before you make me cry too," he teased her, "it's contagious I hear…"

"Do you love me?" she asked him.

"Of course I do," he cupped her face in one hand, caressing her cheek tenderly.

"Enough," she said as she brushed away tears, "to trust me…"

"I've always trusted you," he said and brushed her lips with his, "how about you trust me too…"

"I do," she said, "from the day I placed my hand in yours. Derek, I do…since then, I took it all on faith."

"Then," he whispered upon her lips, "why don't you trust me…this one…this last time."

"Last time," she took a deep breath and locked teary gazes with him and repeated, "one last time…"

"Don't even," he said, smiling a little, "Meredith…don't scrutinize every word…you are the love of my life…and I promised you never to walk away…and that was the love from the depth of my soul…I'm just asking that you trust me to share whatever it is that is making you feel this way…that's what I mean…this one last time that we keep anything from each other…that you tell me what's wrong, and trust me to be there…always."

"There's nothing wrong…really…" she said, thinking it was true, she was pregnant, and nothing was wrong…as of now, with their baby.

"Meredith…"

"Not like this…later…not like this….give me…just a few days…please," she said, and there was such vulnerability such gentleness in her eyes, it suddenly began to dawn on him, and moments began to rapidly flash through his mind, piecing together tiny glimpses, very tiny…he thought, and he smiled.

"Meredith," he said, the word a longing gentle loving and tender caress, and he cupped her face in both hands and he felt the gathering of tears stinging his eyes, and cursed that they were creating a barrier to see her clearly, to see the reaction in her eyes.

"Derek," she was mesmerized by his gaze.

"Meredith," her name on his lips, again a caress, as he kissed her softly, then very gently as he deepened their kiss before she felt one hand on her abdomen and a reverent caress, "it wasn't a dream, after the surgery, it wasn't a dream, it was your voice, telling me," he said with awe and wonderment in his eyes, "it's not just us," he said as a lone tear escaped the corner of his eye.

"No," she said, "it's not just us…" and nothing could have stopped the flow of sentimental tears, as two lovers, that fate had once brought together in a bar on night their souls had been filled with sadness and loneliness, rejoiced; for the depth of their souls were bared to the other, and the depth of their love was the mutual reflection of eyes filled with anticipation and marvel, both acknowledging, without the need for words, that unexpectedly a tiny miracle had come into their lives.

"A baby…" he whispered, "our baby…"

"Our baby…" she smiled through her tears, before she felt his lips on hers and in that one kiss transmitted every emotions of the life they'd shared until that moment; lust, surprise, faith, heartbreak, disappointment, distance, love found and torn apart, fears, and in spite of it all, marriage and commitment; soul mates together for a lifetime. Then, their kiss became the present and their kisses sealed promises of forever, promises for the future; a future he'd only dreamed about; a future she'd never imagined till he came into her life, and now the future filled with hopes and dreams had become their reality.

"Meredith," he whispered, unable to say much more than her name, "get up," he held her hand out to her, and she hesitated as she looked at him without fully understanding. "Please," he said so very tenderly, she couldn't refuse his request, and she did.

"Derek," she said softly, as she looked down at him, his hands on her hips, drawing her close to him, as he placed his face on her stomach and kissed her softly, and then placed his mouth just where he knew their baby was being nurtured.

"Hey…baby…" he whispered with a gentle kiss, "it's your daddy…" and his words were overcome with emotion. "I'm here…and I'm always going to take care of you…and your Mommy," his hand reverently caressed her, "and…she just gave me the most beautiful surprise of my entire life…except," he was too choked up to speak.

"Hey," she said, as she ran her hands through his hair, and then sat down to face him, "not fair…you can't do this…to a pregnant lady…Bailey will kill me," she smiled through her tears, "if I'm responsible for flooding the hospital again…"

"Pregnant…a baby…" Derek repeated, incredulous still, words hard to come by. "I love you…"

"I love you too…Derek…so much…and I almost lost you…you almost died…"

"I'm here…and you're …we're…a baby…" his smile turned serious suddenly, "Meredith…you're ok…I haven't asked you…you fainted…Mer…you need to see a doctor…you…"

"I have," she told him tenderly, "I'm fine…we both are…and Derek," she paused, "when you see him…I can't wait…till you see him and hear him or her, the heartbeat," she smiled, "was amazing ...and …I have a photo…but I haven't looked at it…I wanted us to see our baby…the first time…together…"

"Meredith," he kept repeating, "our baby..." and then, "you heard our baby," and he too broke down, giving in to the full gamut of emotions of the last few days and now this moment, and they shared tears of overwhelming happiness, tears filled with the promise of their future; the promise of their family.

_A/N 2 DEC09 - Thanks to each one of you that las left a comment throughout this story and in particular the last chapter. I mentioned at the beggining of this update, there would be one more chapter and an epilogue. This was actually the longest and most difficult chapter to write, hoping to get it right when Derek found out about her pregnancy. However, given the very lukewarm response in comparison to the rest of the story, I will write and post only one more chapter to bring the story to a close here within the next week or two. Warm regards, Jasmin_


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N 1JAN 2010 – Thank you for reading and for your patience for chapter 13 to be written. I had every intention of completing it weeks ago, but, work made it impossible, as we witnessed tremendous need in our community, as I'm sure is the case across the country; and our staff worked diligently to distribute over 7,000 toys before Christmas Day to children of families in need._

_Hope you've enjoy reading, as heartbreaking reverberations led to joyful revelations and the promise of Derek's wishes come true; in some ways the fulfillment of that long ago, and I guess now forgotten, Grey's dialogue: I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want to build us a house. I want to settle down and grow old with you. I want to die when I'm 110 years old, in your arms. I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours. I want a lifetime._

_This was going to be the last chapter, and really did want to post something before the year was out…but didn't like the flow, so finished it today, though I had to split this chapter in two to get everything I wanted covered, but don't want to wait longer to post it. I'd also planned to write an epilogue, but the response to the last chapter(12) was so very lukewarm not the comments that were made, they were ever so thoughtful and inspiring, but guess you could say the very limited number of comments, that I decided not to post an epilogue here. This story will come to its original conclusion with chapter 14, and that should get posted by next weekend._

_A very special thanks to each of you, that through your comments, offered such enthusiasm and support, I am so very grateful that you took the time to review._

_Happy New Year and best wishes for health, happiness and prosperity! Jasmin._

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 13**

Meredith remained in his arms, his hands continuing to rub her back with gentle soothing caresses and whispering tender endearments, making her feel as only he could; safe and completely loved; though the meaning of feeling safe in his arms had changed in the months since she'd given in fully to her love for him; no longer confined to those fleeting post coital moments she'd told Cristina about. Now, being in his arms at anytime meant she'd given up being afraid of loving him and trusted his love for her. In spite of, as in the last few days, when doubts and fears could still rattle the new experience of accepting that someone could love her so unconditionally.

Meredith was still getting used to that unconditional acceptance, to believing him when he said she was all he needed for his life to feel complete, and as they basked in the joy of their tiny unexpected surprise, they'd have been shocked if anyone told them that for just a very fleeting few seconds, their current euphoria would be momentarily derailed by old doubts and insecurities.

"You're pregnant," he repeated and she smiled, having lost count how many times he'd whispered those words in the most reverent and awe struck tone she'd ever heard, "we're having a baby…"

"We are…" she smiled, her face beaming.

"How…" he said, "I keep expecting I'm dreaming…that I'm going to wake up…Meredith…you're pregnant…how…"

"How…" she teased him, "I think…I can be enticed to show you," she kissed him, "in a few weeks time."

"I know how," he chuckled lightly, shaking his head, still amazed, "but, it's just…when…"

"I think," she leaned forward to kiss him, "it may have something to do with your mother finding condoms in the cookie jar," and his heart was warmed by the melodic sound of her laughter.

"Mom found condoms in the cookie jar…" he repeated, as she nodded. "What was she looking for?"

"The cookie jar," she giggled, "to put her fresh baked cookies in."

"What," he chuckled, and his hand caressed her face, "did she say?"

"That we could probably get rid of them, as they wouldn't have much use now…and that her chocolate chip cookies were truly more worthy of being there…"

"Mom knows," he whispered, "she knows you're pregnant?"

"Jenna and Kathleen too," she said.

"They know…" he said, trying to make sense of why she had done that, "and…you hadn't told me…"

"I was going to, but I couldn't…"

"Meredith," he said suddenly, hesitantly, "you said, everything was wrong. When I walked in here…you were very upset…and you cried…Meredith…I've never seen you cry like this…today…only after the execution…after George died…so full of anguish," he met her gaze and she saw the myriad of emotions all reflecting doubts and fears. "And now…Meredith, you said everything was wrong… this was unexpected…that's why you were crying…why you've been so upset," he stated.

She was taken aback so completely by his assumption, that she didn't know what to say.

"I see," he said, and taking a deep breath looked away from her, as she felt his stance become rigid.

"It shocked me at first…but," she touched his face, forcing him to look at her, "Derek…I couldn't wait to tell you…"

"But you didn't," he said, and the abrupt change in his demeanor, the coldness in his tone, made her pull away from him, both emotionally and physically. "How long have you known?"

"I'm pregnant," she said almost inaudibly, trying to understand what had happened for him to react and change his tone so drastically, and when she spoke again, her voice matched the coldness and distance in his. "I'm sorry, I know it wasn't planned. But, I didn't expect you to be unhappy," she said and got up, her own doubts returning in full force, "you should get back to your room."

"Not happy…" he said and shook his head slightly, immediately realizing how his questions must have sounded, needing to reassure her. "You think I'm not happy..."

"I don't know what to think," she shrugged her shoulders, failing to hear the tenderness in his tone now; she'd already assumed the worst. "I have no idea…at all," she said and started to turn away from him, but not before he saw the sadness in her eyes, and when he got up quickly to reach for her, she heard his exclamation of pain.

"Derek," she reacted immediately, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," he said, "just can't move so fast. But," he continued, "everything is also wrong, just like you said earlier. Because I have no idea what just happened either," and he smiled, their smile, but she remained unaffected. "Meredith," he pulled her to him, "you have an excuse," he said tenderly, "I don't," and very gently kissed her lips.

"You're pregnant," he pulled back to look at her, and smiling cupped her face, caressing her cheek with this thumb, "with our baby."

"That wasn't very nice Derek," she said, his soft touch and tender tone erasing the barriers that had taken only seconds to erect, and thankfully even less to tear down, "you can't do that…"

"You didn't like my kiss," he tried to tease her.

"Don't joke," she said, "the way you reacted…the way you pulled away from me…your tone of voice…" her eyes watered again, "you can't do that to me…not now…and you promised…no pulling away…no running…"

"I'm sorry," he said, "I don't know that the hell's wrong with me, when I realized how upset you'd been and crying…I just…I tried to figure out why…"

"Obviously," she told him, slightly scolding him, "you were wrong," she said and remained a bit serious.

"Meredith," he spoke softly again, "you're not sorry are you? Are you happy?"

"I'm not sorry…I'm not. Derek, ever since I found out I've wanted to tell you…and…"

"Mer," he said, hating to interrupt her, but still feeling like a weakling, "can we sit down?"

"Oh God, Derek…of course," she said leading him to the couch, "you shouldn't even be out of bed. We need to get you back to your room. How did you even get here?"

"I'm fine," he said, "right here."

"Not a good thing," she joked with him, feeling much better than just a few minutes before, "being fine…"

"Your fine's not…mine is," he teased her as well, and reached for her hand.

"You told your Mom," she said, "actually you told the entire hospital not to believe me."

"Mer," he told her, "the entire hospital already knows…your fine is not a good thing."

"You've been talking to Bailey," she laughed softly.

"Meredith," he brought her hand to his lips, "when did you find out?"

"Three days ago," she said, "well, three days before your accident…"

"Why didn't you tell me? Were you upset? Were you sorry?"

"I've never been sorry, Derek…I was shocked at first…because it was the last thing I expected…while at the same time it felt like the perfect moment…I was so sure you would be happy…and …"

"Meredith…I am happy…you have no idea…it's…" he paused as he dealt with all the emotions he was experiencing, "it's…"

"Hey," she said, "I think Bailey's right…that we'd be a mess of hormonal emotions, she told me that after she found me in your room blubbering all over you…"

"Bailey knows?" he asked incredulously.

"She set up my appointment…I already knew I was pregnant. But since I fainted, and wasn't feeling well," she began to say, without thinking about the fact that he didn't know all of what had been going on.

"You weren't feeling well," he said, never letting go of her hand, "what doctor did you see," he was on full hover and concern mode now. "What was wrong, why did you faint? You lied to me, it wasn't because you hadn't eaten…and you went home with Mom…and invited my sisters for dinner…you don't do families…Cristina was right…Meredith…is something wrong? Bailey told me there was nothing wrong…but are you sure…are you ok? Should you be working…maybe you should be home…"

"Is there anything else," she smiled at him, "you'd like to know?"

Their conversation was interrupted when Cristina burst in the room, "shift change in twenty minutes. Did you find out what's wrong with her? People are starting to complain that they can't get in here."

Derek met Meredith's gaze, and she understood he was asking if he should say anything to Cristina.

Meredith shook her head at him and said quietly, "not yet."

"We need a little more time," Derek said.

"You've been here over thirty minutes, and don't know what's wrong with her." Cristina stated. "Meredith, cut the crap. Tell him what's going on, why you're carrying around that bunny and …crying in the locker room."

"You have a big mouth," Meredith told her friend, "you told him…"

"You're my person, of course I told him. Who else would I tell? Unless there's another husband we don't know about," she smirked, "that would be fitting…he had a wife. Mer do you have another husband?" she asked with a dead pan expression.

"Cristina," Derek warned.

"Shepherd," Cristina said, "you must be losing your touch, if you couldn't get her to tell you anything and now, you have to get back to your room, before Bailey's on my case again."

"Give us a couple minutes," Derek said.

"You had thirty, a couple minutes aren't going to cut it," Cristina said bluntly.

"Cristina," Meredith said, "we only need a couple minutes."

"Fine," her friend said. "Make it fast."

"Mer," Derek turned to her, "you don't want her to know? My mom and sisters know."

"I had to tell them, they guessed, and I was scared…and I want to wait till I see Dr. Cameron again…and I have a regular visit in 4 weeks, but he wants to see me next week…just to monitor…"

"You were scared," he interrupted, fully aware of what that could mean. Especially if she was seeing the doctor again so soon, "why are you seeing him again next week? There is something wrong…Meredith…"

"He thinks everything will be fine…he does…"

"Meredith…"

They were once again interrupted, "Shepherd, Grey," Miranda Bailey scolded, "what is wrong with you two? You can't keep people from coming in here at the end of a shift. This isn't your private living room."

"Dr. Bailey," Meredith said, but Miranda noticed the look of concern on Derek's face.

"Grey," Miranda said, "did you two talk?"

"Dr. Bailey, he knows," Meredith smiled slightly.

Cristina cracked the door open, "oh crap, bye Dr. Bailey."

"Yang, I take it you're responsible for closing off this lounge? What did you do to get Prettier and Red to be your watchdogs?"

"Prettier and Red?" Cristina made a face as she furrowed her brows. "Dr. Bailey did you just say Prettier and Red?"

Miranda waved her hand dismissively, "Yang…I don't have time for chit chat…you want a better nickname for your boyfriend…you come up with it. Now, tell those two fools to keep everyone out of here till I say so."

"Back to you," Bailey said. "Grey, what exactly does he know? Since it seems to be common knowledge his brain cells take hiatus more often than they should. Stupid post it notes," she muttered under her breath, which actually made Meredith and Derek laugh, but also made her look over and see how he placed his hand on her abdomen and they became lost in each other's smiles, and she too smiled certain he knew Meredith was pregnant.

"You laugh," Miranda said, not backing down from her stance on their marriage. "You think it's a joke? Your child's going to be like one of those kids named Sunflower in the 60's and be the joke of the class…when she talks about how her mommy and daddy got married on a blue post it note…maybe you'll start a trend…pink…yellow…a color for every month of the year!"

"I'm going to be a father Miranda," Derek smiled at her, "and you think we're having a girl?"

"Shepherd, are you stupid? That's not what my comment was about."

"I know that Miranda," Derek smiled. "I am fully aware of that. But you didn't answer my question. You think it's a girl?"

"Ask your mother," Bailey told him, "that's what she thinks."

"You've talked to Mom about this?" Derek asked.

"Of course we've talked," Miranda answered, "it took two of us to get her home…and off her feet make sure the cramping was nothing serious."

"Cramping," he turned to Meredith, "that's why you went …why you have to go back next week?"

"Meredith," Bailey said, with a truly repentant look, "I thought you told him."

"I haven't had a chance to tell him everything."

"Meredith," Derek said, "please…tell me everything…now."

"I'm sorry," Bailey said, "I just …"

"It's ok Dr. Bailey," Meredith said, "I'm going to tell him what's been going on," she felt his hand squeeze hers, and she recognized his fear.

"We can't keep people out of here," Miranda said, "but…let's get you back to your room, and I guarantee you will have privacy…and all the time you need to talk," she said, and before she walked out, she turned around. "Derek," she smiled, "congratulations. I told you there was nothing wrong with her, and there isn't. I'm sure of that, so is Dr. Cameron."

"You have a lot to tell me," Derek said quietly.

"I do…" Meredith kissed him softly, as Mark walked in with the wheelchair.

"I've been instructed by Bailey to take you to your room," Mark told them, and helped Derek get up and get and in the chair.

"I'll take him," Meredith said, "my shift is over."

"I was also instructed, you were to follow us, not to push him. What the hell is that about? Wait…you fainted…shit, they did tests…and something's wrong…"

Meredith rolled her eyes, "I have never seen any group of people so set on something being wrong with me…all over a simple fainting spell because I had not eaten," she said, and felt Derek's gentle squeeze of her hand as she walked by his side while Mark pushed the chair to his room, "I'm perfectly ok Mark, never better, in fact."

Regrettably, as much as Miranda Bailey could yield her authority, or when that failed stare down most hospital personnel, she was no match for the Shepherd women congregated in Derek's room.

"We wondered were you'd disappeared to," Maggie said, as the rest of the sisters and Carolyn had made themselves comfortable in the VIP room at Seattle Grace, where a small sitting area had a couch and two chairs. "Mom wanted to make sure Meredith had an early dinner, she doesn't want a repeat fainting spell."

"Oh," Meredith said, "that's very sweet…but you didn't have to cut your meal short, I would have grabbed something in the cafeteria."

"Meredith," Kathleen said, "what Mom really wanted was to spend as much time with the two of you as possible."

"She's right," Jenna said, "she puts on this tough exterior…when she's really a softie…and I don't get it…how she isn't sick of all of us by now…but she really does seem to enjoy spending time with her kids…even," she hugged her mother, "when she wants to kill us. Meredith you'll see how it is…when you and Derek get to come home for a visit."

"Jenna," Derek commented after Mark had helped get into the bed. "I don't think we'll be home for a while," he smiled at Meredith, who was uncharacteristically fussing over him, smoothing out the bed sheets and covering him with the blanket, and he whispered, "Mer…you're hovering."

"Ass," she teased back, in spite of the conversation they'd had to postpone, feeling much lighter and happier than she had in days.

"Maybe," he whispered, "it's …"

"Motherly instincts," she whispered back.

"God, no," he groaned louder than intended.

"Derek," his mother asked, is something wrong?"

"No Mom," he said, "the incision's still too recent to be moving so much."

"Meredith," he pulled her closer to him, "motherly instincts," he smiled, "good for our baby…not toward me…ever…please," he teased.

"Last thing on my mind," she smiled back. "Believe me."

"Weeks," he mumbled, and she laughed, making Kathleen and Jenna exchange confused glances.

"Surely," Mark said, "that weeks reference is not you two talking about sex."

"Mark," Nancy said, "you are incorrigible."

"So are you," he winked at her. "Always were."

"Mark," Carolyn said, "somehow I don't think her husband would appreciate you flirting with her. Even, after all these years," leaving no doubt she knew about younger days and rites of passages.

Jenna, giggled, "Mom…I cannot believe you said that."

"Jenna," Kathleen laughed, "using pregnancy to get what you want…is nothing compared to Mom's I'm getting old and can say anything and get away with it crap."

"You're exposing Mom's oldest trick," Nancy laughed.

Carolyn had seen the subtle smiles on Meredith and Derek when they mentioned Jenna's pregnancy and the way Derek had reached for her hand, bringing it to his lips and allowing them to linger, before she leaned in to brush his lips with hers. They'd talked, Carolyn smiled to herself; she was certain of it; her son knew he was going to be a father.

"Derek," Carolyn said, wanting to confirm her suspicious. "I was thinking, you should be fully recuperated within a month and back to your old routine. I know you'll be taking time off, but I'm still hoping there's a chance you and Meredith can make it out for Christmas or the New Year's weekend…join your sisters and go skiing."

Derek's expression was priceless, as was Meredith's when they exchanged a look that clearly said, she's got to be kidding. Skiing…she knows I'm pregnant.

"Mom, that's a great idea," Nancy said, "we have not done that in a few years, and there's a chance we can still get a couple of cabins near our house," she referred to the place she and her husband owned in New England, "and accommodate the whole family."

"Maybe," Jenna smiled, "you could just join us for a couple of days, and if Meredith wants to be a really nice sister in law," she walked over to them, "she can keep me company, drinking hot chocolate and reading by the fireplace; I certainly won't be skiing while five months pregnant."

"I'm not sure," Derek said, "Meredith's schedule as a resident would work, she's stuck working most holidays…but…maybe next year," he spoke rapidly, "yeah…maybe next year…we could try to do that…Meredith, what do you think?"

"Next year," she said, "yes…I think…I'm pretty sure if I beg Cristina she may cover for me…at Christmas," she rambled on, "she's Jewish…she might be willing…and I'll ask her now…so she can't tell me she has plans…"

"Meredith," Nancy said, "if she's Jewish, it's still early enough for this year. Maybe if you ask her now, before we go…she might do it, and when we get home we can make the arrangements. It would be nice," Nancy continued, "really nice for you to spend time with the rest of our family."

"Nancy," Derek jumped right in, "I don't know…it's…well, actually, this year, Meredith and I have plans already. But, I didn't want it to sound we didn't want to spend time with the family…but…next year…we'll make sure to be there next year."

Carolyn walked up to the bed, "you know…it's been a long day, and I'm tired. Must be I'm really getting old," she winked at Jenna and Meredith on the other side of Derek's hospital bed. "We've had great news that Derek can go home in a couple days, and I think it's a good day for all of us to get a good night's rest, including you," she leaned in to kiss his cheek. "You know…" his mother said quietly, and kissed his forehead, tears gathering in her eyes.

Derek simply nodded, remaining silent as he recognized his mother was overcome with many of the same emotions he was feeling; the day had finally come when he could share that news that he was going to be a father.

"Girls," Carolyn said, "time to say goodnight to your brother and Meredith."

"Kathleen," Maggie commented, "I thought you told me you wouldn't consider giving Mom a prescription for Valium."

"Mary Margaret," Carolyn scolded, "what are you talking about?"

"Mom," Maggie laughed, "you went from spending as much time with Derek and Meredith, to sending us home before seven thirty in the evening."

"I think," Jenna said, "Mom was probably trying to be subtle…"

"Mom," Nancy said, "subtle?"

"Yeah," Jenna laughed, "we all know what subtle means for her…except she probably realized, like we all should have, that Meredith and Derek need to spend some time alone together. We'll leave you alone," she said, and as she was standing next to Meredith, she hugged her and whispered to her only, "you told him."

"Yes," Meredith smiled.

"I guess," Kathleen laughed, "being pregnant," she looked at both Meredith and Derek and smiled, acknowledging their news, "also makes Jenna sharper than we are…we will see you in the morning," she said.

"Mom," Jenna asked, "are you going back to the hotel now?"

"Actually," she glanced over at the couple, "Meredith, I left some things at your house last night, if you don't mind…I'll need to stop by there and get them."

Kathleen, recognizing her mother's wish to speak to her brother alone, said, "Mark, I'm not ready to call it a night…and you haven't had dinner…how about we join you, Joe's was nice…we can have a drink…Nancy…Maggie?"

"I'm game," Maggie said, "I'm not really ready to call it a night."

"I'm exhausted," Jenna admitted, "I'll stay and go back with Mom…your niece Derek, is draining all my energy suddenly, and before I know it, morning will be here with a vengeance of morning sickness like today," she said, meeting Meredith's gaze, "you should get some rest too…I don't know what I would have done without you this morning."

Everyone left, leaving Jenna and Carolyn in the room.

"Carolyn," Meredith spoke first, "I'm going to spend the night here with Derek, but I'll give you my key…and…you're welcome to stay at the house…both of you."

"You're not spending the night here," Derek said, "absolutely not."

"Derek…I want to stay with you."

"I want you to stay too," Derek said, "but…you need to get some rest…especially after what Miranda said…Mom…you knew she hasn't been feeling well, she's been having cramps…there could be something wrong and you didn't make her stay at home?"

"Meredith," Carolyn said, "has experienced some cramping…but, Dr. Cameron believes there is nothing wrong…and she has been resting. She had a good night's sleep last night."

"Good night's sleep," Jenna teased, "until my niece woke her up with a vengeance…"

"It was you," Derek said, "this morning…you were sick, not Jenna…Mer…you need to rest…I want to have you here with me…I do…but I'm worried about you."

"Derek," Meredith pouted involuntarily, and her eyes watered, "you want me to leave? We haven't finished talking…and you don't want me to stay…" she sniffled. "You didn't mean it earlier…" she never got to finish what she was going to say.

"Oh my God," Jenna laughed, "big brother, you are in for one hell of a ride…"

"What are you talking about?" Derek asked, Meredith his only concern.

"Derek," Jenna said, "Dr. Bailey was right, pregnant hormonal Meredith is going to be a roller coaster ride."

"She…" Derek said, "that's not a very pleasant thing to say."

"Apparently," Carolyn said, "she knows the two of you well…she thought you may be as bad as Meredith will be."

"What," Meredith said, "are you talking about," and wiped away a tear.

"That's the beauty of it," Carolyn said, "I told you sweetheart…it's going to get worse…being irrational…and hormonal…and you won't even recognize it."

"I was not…" Meredith told them.

"She was?" Derek said. "Mer…I don't think you were irrational just now."

"Neither do I," she said, and realized she was indeed very emotional.

"Meredith," Jenna laughed, "don't worry about it…it's a good thing you don't recognize it. But, Derek, get ready for overly emotional…and sentimental…and if the last couple days are an indication, she's going to give me a run for my money on the water faucet department."

Derek didn't say anything, but then laughed, as he reached for Meredith's hand, "you may be right…"

"What?" Meredith said, indignantly, "I haven't…"

"Meredith," he said tenderly, "you really have…"

"That's because of your accident…I'm not like all the clichés about pregnant women and hormones…Jenna's just making fun…because she's like that…"

"It's a good thing I like you…" Jenna said, "and that you're pregnant," she smiled, "because if anyone else said that…you'd probably be experiencing a rant like yesterday."

"What rant?" Derek said.

"Never mind," Carolyn told him. "We've taken enough of your time. Meredith, I am going to take you up on that offer to stay over, simply because I expect you to be home in a few hours to get a good night's sleep…so…it's almost eight now…Derek…make sure you send her home by eleven…her shift doesn't start till one tomorrow."

"You know my schedule?" Meredith asked.

"Of course I do," Carolyn told her. "I spoke to Dr. Bailey after you didn't listen to us this morning."

"I did what she said…and you..." Meredith argued.

"Derek," Carolyn ignored her denial, and said, "you're going to be a father."

"Jenna," Meredith said, as she recognized the slight catch in his mother's voice, and wanted to give mother and son a few moments alone. "I'm going to get some hot chocolate to drink along with what you brought me. Will you come with me to the cafeteria, maybe give me some tips?"

"You are a fraud," Jenna told Meredith when they were walking down the corridor.

"So are you," Meredith rolled her eyes; "you're tired…and want to call it an early night."

"It's not like you wanted hot chocolate either," Jenna laughed, "but that was done well, giving them some time alone."

"Jenna," Meredith said, "I really did want some hot chocolate."

"That's pretty disgusting Meredith, with a cheeseburger and French fries. I could see a chocolate milk shake, but hot chocolate," Jenna made a face of disgust.

"I thought you'd be sympathetic to cravings," Meredith said, "and you can't talk, since you…just wanted to confirm that Derek knew about the baby."

"You told him," Jenna smiled, "what changed your mind?"

"My meddling friend Cristina," Meredith told Jenna, "I still don't know all the details, but Derek guessed…but, our conversation was interrupted a couple of times so I didn't get to tell him everything…I need to do that now, and then I'm going to spend the night here with him."

"I think you should tell him everything that's happened," his sister agreed with her, "how you've been feeling…whatever it was you were going to say to him…if he hadn't been in an accident…but, I don't think you should spend the night here. I think you need to get some rest, which you won't if you're here."

"Jenna…I can sleep on the couch or the recliner."

"Neither of you will get any rest if you're here; and you'll both spend the night worrying about the other. Don't roll your eyes at me," she said, once they'd paid for the hot chocolate and were walking back to his room, "it's true, and you both need to get some rest."

"You're all really very bossy," Meredith said.

"Mom was an exemplary teacher," Jenna told her, "she wasn't a Navy nurse for nothing…" they both laughed.

"She apparently had good students," Meredith joked back.

"Meredith," Jenna said, "you've had cramping…do you still?"

"Not as bad…very sporadic today…almost gone…"

"Good…" Jenna said. "It was probably all the stress…combined with not eating…and cramping…it can be normal…"

"But you've never had it…to be concerned about it, with your pregnancies?"

"I did, a little earlier, with implantation…but not at eight weeks."

"Derek's going to make me go home," Meredith told her, "once I tell him…everything."

"He should," Jenna said, "it's best for you…and the baby…for all three of you. Meredith, in case you have any more doubts, about where you should sleep tonight…do you really want to be here in the hospital…if you have to deal with a morning like today?"

"You had to remind me?" Meredith said.

"Meredith," Jenna said, "believe me…my niece will do a damn good job at it herself."

"You keep saying that…and Bailey," she smiled, "that it's a girl."

"I think it is," Jenna smiled, "I hope it is…our girls will be very close in age…and I hope they will be close as they grow older," then she said a little sadly, "I know this is home for Derek now…he's not coming back East, but I hope…and I mean it sincerely," she said, and Meredith recognized the glimmer of tears as very real, "that you'll want to get to know us…our family…and our kids can enjoy being cousins."

"You…" Meredith said, becoming sentimental herself, "are the very worst or rather best example of sentimental and hormonal reactions."

"Yeah," Jenna said, "I know and sometimes, I even recognize it. But, these are…"

"Very real…" Meredith finished for her, "as are mine…very sentimental...real emotions, even without pregnancy…I'd feel the same way…over what you've said. Jenna, it will be good to have the babies be close…we'll make sure of it."

"Finally," Derek said when they were alone, and sitting up in bed extended his arm out to her, and when she placed her hand in his pulled her closer. "Meredith," he said tenderly, "I haven't told you how I feel…"

"What…what do you mean…" she asked hesitantly.

"I haven't told you that I love you…adore you, even though you have to know that already…Meredith…and I love our little one already…"

"So do I…" she said, and she indeed became sentimental, "I love our baby too…since I found out…" she said, and suddenly started to cry.

"Meredith," he said tenderly, "Mer…what's wrong…please don't cry like this…"

"I…"she kept crying, "I…Derek," she sobbed as he held her and her tears flowed freely as she buried her face in his chest.

"Mer…please," he soothed, "what's wrong? Are you in pain, Meredith, do you need to see the doctor again?"

"No," she said, calming down a bit, "I…almost lost you…and you didn't know…" her tears continued to fall, "you could have been gone…and you didn't know about the baby."

"I'm here," he said, "you didn't lose me…I'm here…remember…I'm not going anywhere…if I have my wish…I'll be in your arms when…"

"Don't," she stopped him, "don't talk of dying…"

"Mer," he teased her, his hand softy pushing the hair back from her face, and wiping away the tears, "I'm talking over one hundred…"

"I don't care," she told him, "I don't want to think about any day…any day without you."

"Oh," he smiled, but tears gathered in his eyes as well, "I think…our little one has made you very sentimental…and romantic…"

"Maybe," she smiled, and wiped away the rest of her tears, "Derek…are you really happy? You're not disappointed…this wasn't planned…there are so many things…my crappy genes…"

"Meredith," her name on his lips felt like the gentlest most loving caress, "I told you before…our babies…are going to be extraordinary…because…with you as their mom…nothing else is possible…"

Meredith's mouth just opened, unable to say anything, once again overcome with emotions over the love this man, the only man she'd ever loved, felt for her.

"I think," she spoke finally, as she cupped his face, "our children will be extraordinary…because of us…the two of us together."

"I can live with that," Derek said, before he put his hand behind her neck and pulled her closer to him, and gently, tenderly at first kissed every inch of her face, her lips, and then with insatiable desire captured her mouth and they shared one of countless kisses throughout their lifetime that spoke of their love and unwavering commitment.

In the moments that followed, he'd convinced her to lie next to him, and that was how the nurse on the new shift found them. "I'm sorry," the nurse said, "I know there's a sign on the door that says not to disturb you, but I need to check your incision and change the bandage."

"There's a sign," Derek said.

"Yes, Dr. Shepherd," the nurse smiled at him.

"Debbie," Meredith said, "what does it say…exactly?"

"12 Hr – Quarantine; by order of M. Bailey," Debbie smiled at Derek again, "and you know nobody would dare go against her orders," she spoke, well known for her gossip tendencies, as she continued to do her work. "The Chief was here earlier and he seemed to debate whether to enter or not but Dr. Bailey was walking by him just as he was about to come in, and told him she was sure he could read."

Meredith and Derek both laughed, though it was Meredith who spoke, "but you had no qualms…coming in here."

"Dr. Grey," Debbie said, "Dr. Bailey told me to have one of the nurses get this done and leave you alone the rest of the evening, merely following her instructions…"

"Debbie," Meredith said, "since when does the charge nurse voluntarily change bandages," and Derek wanted to laugh, at both their reactions.

"Dr. Grey," Debbie told her, "he's one of my favorite doctors…and do you think I'd give up on looking at some McDreamy nakedness," she winked at Derek, "even if it's only to change a bandage?"

"I cannot believe," Meredith looked at her, "you just said that."

"Of course I did," she smiled at them both. "Surely, you know his nickname, and from what I heard last night, who would you prefer…an old experienced, gossipy bet making charge nurse…or a young inexperienced one ready to flirt with your husband openly and go out and talk about his overly moussed hair and dreamy smiles? That's Bailey's description, not mine."

"I suppose," Meredith said, "when you put it in perspective, an old experienced nurse…is better…wait…Derek, you were giving nurses dreamy smiles?"

"I'll ignore you chose to say old," Debbie laughed as she decided to interrupt her, while she finished securing the bandage, "and Dr. Grey…this old nurse…thinks you are very much married," she commented, "don't pay any attention to gossips. His dreamy smiles, I've only seen when he looks at you."

"Thank you Debbie," Derek said, "there shouldn't be any doubt about that in anyone's mind…Meredith's my wife…and will be…for the rest of our lives."

"Dr. Shepherd," Debbie said, "just make sure…that blue post it note…has sticking power…glue it on to whatever…too many bets about post it notes not sticking going around."

"We already have," Derek laughed, "Believe me…it's got a most prominent and secure place in our home…no chance of it, or our marriage, becoming unglued."

"Good to hear that," Debbie said, "that's a positive piece of news…to spread."

"Good night Debbie," Derek said, "thank you."

"Dr. Grey, your mother in law also gave me instructions."

"My mother," Derek said, "gave you instructions?"

"I'm supposed to send Dr. Grey home by eleven," Debbie said and walked out the door, chuckling as she heard the couple begin to argue over the sleeping arrangements.

"That conversation will be over the hospital in no time at all," Meredith said.

"I know," Derek chuckled, "but she's a good nurse."

"That," Meredith told him, "is the only reason…I didn't change the bandage myself."

Derek touched her face, smiled at her, their smile exclusively, "now, that we're not going to be interrupted," he said, as he looked at her, laying on her side facing him, "tell me…everything…about our baby…but first…how are you feeling? Are you still having cramps? Do you need to see Cameron sooner than next week? Tell me what he said…"

"I'm feeling fine…"

"Meredith fine…"

"I'm feeling wonderful…" she smiled, "now that you know…and happy…and amazed…and scared as hell…about me…being a mom…"

"I'm a little scared too…" he told her, "about being a dad…"

"Derek," she said, "you have tons of nieces and nephews…and you're good with kids."

"Mer…they go home…with their parents, it's different…our baby will be with us…everyday…and that's…"

"So," she smiled, "you're not just saying that…to make me feel better…"

"Maybe," he said, "just a little…"

"Ass…" she said and giggled, "I know you well Derek Shepherd…"

"But," he told her, "the other little part, is scared….but we'll do it together…and that makes me believe we have nothing to worry about."

"You'll have to help me you know. Derek, there's a lot to learn…and not a lot of time."

"Mer," he smiled at her, reached for her hand and kissed it, "we have a good," he made some mental calculations, "thirty five or thirty six weeks…to get ready."

"Not quite," she told him, "not quite that long."

"What…" he shifted slightly to look at her, "how far along are you?"

"Almost eight weeks…"

"Eight weeks," he exclaimed, and his thoughts were rapidly digesting the information, "Mer…how…when…of course…that's why you could hear a heartbeat…Meredith…" he said and again there was that look, and sound of awe and amazement…wonderment…in his eyes.

"I think," he heard the small gasp, and then she changed what she was going to say, the answer to how she could have become pregnant, insignificant in comparison to his reaction, to the look on his face. "I think…I've never ever loved you more than now…the way you look…the way you looked when you discovered …realized…us…that when I said you can't leave us…that now included a baby."

"Meredith," he said, "I've never felt the way I do…I did…when I saw the answer in your eyes…and that you'd told me…you'd already told me…I couldn't leave you…I heard you…I did…and I knew," he got misty eyed, "I didn't want to leave you…and then…to find out we …we're having a baby…we created a little tiny person…our love for each other…it's…." he shook his head, his lips pursed.

"I know…" she said, and leaned in to him, kissing him softly," I know…we created a baby…without even realizing it…Derek…no regrets?"

"Regrets? Never…Meredith…I love you…and our baby…already…"

"That's," she said, "that's how I felt…when I thought something was wrong…and when I thought you didn't want…didn't think it was right …the right time for kids."

"I told you," he said, "already…I didn't want you feeling pressured…as I knew my sisters would…they're baby crazy Meredith…and they'd start pressuring you…and I just wanted you to know we could wait for as long as you wanted…but…if only I'd known…I would have never said anything…I'd have told you…I was ready, whenever you were…but…I'm sorry…for our misunderstanding…for the way you felt…"

"Hey," she said, "it's ok…we're ok now…except…"

"Except…" he asked, "what…"

"I'm going to have another talk with this little one," she said, "and let him know his daddy hasn't changed his mind, about how he feels about me…that you still want to be with me," she looked away from him, realizing what she'd just admitted.

"You talked to the baby," he said, "and told her that I changed my mind…that I didn't want to be with you…"

"I'm sorry," Meredith said, "I shouldn't have said that."

"No," Derek looked at her and would not let her deviate her gaze, "I'm glad you said it…admitted that's how you felt…Meredith, we need to be open with each other, how we feel… it's the only way we're going to avoid misunderstandings…and we've had enough of those in the last few days…we talk…we tell each other what we feel…even if we think the other one is not going to like it…ok?"

"Ok…" she said, and smiled at him, "but you can't get mad at me."

"Neither can you."

"Derek," she snuggled closer to him, careful not to disturb the side with the incision, "that rules applies to me more than to you…"

"Really," he said, "you have special rules?"

"I'm pregnant," she brushed his lips, and she giggled, thinking of what Kathleen had said about Jenna's indulging husband, "that's enough for…some special rules…"

"You're right," he agreed, grinning indulgently, "whatever you want…just ask…"

"Derek," she giggled, "I wouldn't say that just yet…"

"Why not? I'm serious about it."

"You may want to ask Jenna…how bad those hormones and sentimental rants can get."

"I love you," he chuckled, "I'll put up with it all…as long as you're happy and healthy and our baby is healthy…as long…as we're talking, and you let me take care of you, both of you… that's all that matters."

Meredith smiled at him, "I love you Derek," and reached for his hand entwining their fingers, and somehow he'd found it comfortable to lie on his side, their faces barely inches away from each other.

"There's so much…so many questions…so many things I want to know…"

Ask away," she smiled, pressing her forehead against his, "we have plenty of time."

"You're mocking me…my post it…" he said smiled adoringly.

"Not the post it," she kissed him softly, "that's in its proper place."

"Over our bed," he smiled, and their lips met again tenderly.

"Just the post it comment…." she said, "about having plenty of time. Derek, don't ever…ever scare me like that…not…"

He kissed her silent, then, he whispered. "Tell me…" another gentle kiss, "from the beginning…when…when did you find out? How did you feel…when were you going to tell me…how do you …"

She laughed softly, "do I get to ask questions too?"

"You get," he brought their entwined hands to his lips, kissing hers, "anything you want."

"All that," she teased him, certain that he already knew there was already an abundance of love in her heart for their child, "because of a tiny baby…"

"No," he said, "all that because I love you…because after all the stupid things I've said and done…things that kept you up all night …full of doubts and insecurities," he said, reverence a fit description for his words, his tone, "in spite of all the times I failed you…you forgave me…and you agreed to be my wife…and to spend the rest of your life with me."

"Oh…" she said, as tears filled with emotion and love for this man slid down her cheeks, "I love you…Derek…I love you so much…"

"I adore you Meredith Grey…don't ever doubt it…don't ever question it… no matter how brainless and stupid…I may be …you're the love of my life…and I know…you know that…"

"I do," she said, "I do know…I just hope you know I feel the same way Derek," and she recalled the words, that time when he'd first told her, and repeated them, "I've been in love with you…forever…"

"I hope," he said, and shifted ever so slightly, pulling back from her just enough to put his hand over her abdomen, exactly where he knew their baby was being nurtured, "little one…that whatever your mommy said…when she was sad," he said correctly interpreting what her mood would have been, "that you heard all we've said now…and how very much we love you…and that we can't wait to meet you."

"Forever," Meredith whispered, "do you understand…why my hint was the same as yours?"

"Your secret," he said, "your surprise," his eyes twinkled in delight, glimmered with emotion, "was our baby…"

"It was…" she said, "a tiny surprise…"

"Tiny," he said, "only in size…because…it's the most amazing, magical, beautiful…and treasured surprise…other than you coming into my life."

"So are you Derek…" she said, "just when I thought love was reserved for fairy tales…you came into my life…and made me believe dreams do come true…even when I'd long ago given up believing that soul mates existed…you came into my life…" and their lips met as once again on this night filled with magic, their kiss sealed a love of legends.

"Meredith," he said tenderly, and she heard the amusement in his voice, as they both broke the kiss, "you know…there is a flaw in fairytales…"

"What," she locked gazes with him, twinkling amusement the mutual reflections.

"Wicked moms that will come and haunt a husband down, if they don't send their pregnant wife home to get some rest before the clock strikes midnight," and their laughter filled the hospital room where two hearts filled with love for the other rejoiced, and two souls destined to be together for a lifetime, marveled at the beating heart of a young and beautiful new soul fated to become extraordinary.

"Derek," Meredith whispered against his lips, "you know my surprise…are you going to tell me yours?"

"Forever…" he said, "remember my hint…"

"Yes…"

"It hasn't changed…" he told her, "now more than ever…"

"Derek, it's not nice to tease…"

"I'm not," he kissed her softly, "I guessed…what yours was…"

"You did not," she said, "well kind of…but I'd told you …when you were out of surgery…"

"Kind of," he said, "you gave some more hints there but not quite," he teased.

"Derek," she pouted, knowing full well he'd see through her, "you're not being fair…"

"Meredith," he caressed her face, "remind me…" and he laughed.

"About what…"

"To keep you away from Jenna…you're already pouting like she does…"

"Saw right through that one…didn't you?" Meredith giggled.

"Just a bit," he laughed with her.

"Hey little one," she smiled as his hand again rested on her lower abdomen, and she brought her hand to rest on top of his, "don't you think your daddy should tell me his surprise…not make me work and guess…especially since you're probably going to wake me up very early tomorrow…and make my morning miserable…"

"Mer," Derek said, immediately contrite, "I'm sorry…I'm being an idiot, I didn't ask you again how you were feeling, how bad was it this morning? You should stay home tomorrow…not come in to work…just rest…and I'll be home in a few days…and Meredith, where's the baby's sonogram…you said you had it but you haven't seen it…we have to see it…"

"Derek," she laughed softly, "I think…this baby is going to be a rambler…he or she…gets it from both sides of the family."

"Meredith," he whispered, "start…from the beginning…you're not going home till you tell me…everything…"

"Tell me my surprise first…you already know mine…"

"There was something…in the car, I asked Mark to find it…and he finally tracked the car down. But, they were already closed…and no amount of money would make them open the place, so he'll pick it up tomorrow…"

"Tomorrow," she smiled, "then…how about another hint…"

"A date…" he smiled.

"Forever and a date," she repeated, "well we can't be on a date forever…so that's not a good hint…"

"Really…you can't guess, so it's not a good hint," he laughed.

"Derek," she smiled, deciding she'd wait and be surprised, and placed her hand on top of his, again resting on her abdomen, ever so often, gently caressing her, "it was Thursday morning…we'd just made love," she smiled, "taking our time…again…and you said…"


	14. Chapter 14

_**Dr. Meredith Grey: [voiceover] You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be. White dress, Prince Charming who'd carry you away to a castle on a hill... You'd lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming. They were so close you could taste them. But eventually you grow up. One day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it's hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely 'cause almost everyone still has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they'll open their eyes and it will all come true. At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale might be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important that it's happy ever after, just that it's happy right now. See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in a while, people may even take your breath away." **Voice over as broadcast on Grey's Anatomy_

_* Chapter14 begins with flashback of Thursday morning in italics_

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 14**

"_I was beginning to think you didn't love me," Derek whispered teasingly, as he again joined their bodies intimately, "or want me anymore; you've fallen asleep on me the last couple weeks…not good for my ego…"_

"_I have not," her hands lovingly assured him, "and you know I always want you."_

"_Well…technically not fallen asleep," he said, but forgot all about conversation when she began to put her words into action._

"_I guess," she said, and heard his deep intake of breath, delighted at the feel of her around him, "I'll just have to make sure there are no doubts…ever…of how much…I want you…and love you."_

_They lay in each other's arms long after they'd made love again. "I love you Meredith."_

"_Derek," she said, searching for his gaze, "you were joking…right…about me falling asleep on you…I'd never…"_

"_I was," he chuckled, "but, Mer…I have come home to you dead to the world about five times the last couple of weeks…and it's not been that late, no later than nine."_

"_I've been so tired," she admitted, "and I get home and before I know it, I'm waiting for you to come home…but all I want to do is sleep…probably my way of dealing with everything…"_

"_You ok?"_

"_Yeah…but, George is gone, and Izzie and Alex are a mess…and who knows about Lexie and Mark…actually…every one of our friends is going through a hard time…so, coming home…and sleeping…maybe just my way of dealing with it all…avoiding."_

"_As long as you don't want to avoid me," Derek drew her closer to him._

"_Never," she snuggled closer too. "Just tired…and don't even know why, it's not like we have surgeries or much to do sometimes with this stupid merger and more people than we had before it seems."_

"_Well…" Derek told her, "I have this surprise planned," he smiled, as he kissed the top of her head, "but if you think you'd rather be at home in bed…sleeping."_

"_You've never minded me being at home in bed…" Meredith teased him._

"_Not if you're an active participant," Derek chuckled. "But I don't much care for you sleeping…I mean…I love being in bed with you sleeping…"_

"_You mean me snoring," she told him, a bit too serious for his liking._

"_I didn't say that," Derek searched her eyes._

"_Sometimes," she said, and he was surprised at the glimmer of tears, "you don't have to say it…I know…that's what you meant, and I know it bothers you…but you still have to sleep with me…I told you…a long time ago…"_

"_Hey," Derek cupped her face in his hands, "what are these for…you know I'm kidding. I love you… even your snoring, and I miss your snoring when I don't sleep with you."_

"_You wear earplugs," she said, "when you sleep with me…so it's not like you have to put up with the snoring…and…if it bothers you so much…" she stopped herself, as if suddenly realizing the whole conversation didn't really make sense._

"_Mer," he caressed her face, "are you sure you're not upset about something…I get what you said about being tired and it may be a way to avoid all the crappy things that have happened, but…you've been really sentimental lately…and maybe…you're unhappy about something else, you can tell me…"_

"_Derek," she smiled at him, "I think…we've both just really rambled away today…"_

"_Maybe," he laughed, "but…you ok? You sure nothing else is bothering you?"_

"_Nothing's bothering me," she said, "just ignore me…I'm sure it will all work out for everyone…that things will get better and our friends will be happy."_

"_When did you become an optimist?" Derek teased her._

"_This is happy married me…you…made me think this way," she said, and found his lips and they would have become lost in each other, except for her stomach growling._

"_I guess," he laughed, "food trumps romance…right now."_

"_You did wake me up at five in the morning," she kissed him, "even when we don't have to be in today before nine…and made love…not once…but …"_

"_Stay in bed," he kissed her hard, "I'll fix you breakfast."_

_Meredith would have stayed in bed until breakfast was ready, and fought the need to get up, but over the last few weeks, she'd felt she was forever needing to empty her bladder, so she came back to bed and lay quietly when it suddenly dawned on her; what he's said earlier, between endearments and sexy playful exchange of words, and his unintelligible mumblings before he'd joined their bodies together the last time, "I love this…feeling nothing but you…nothing between us…" _

_Nothing between us, he'd said, Meredith replayed those words over and over; it wasn't the first time, in the recent weeks when he'd told her that as he'd been buried deep inside of her, basking in the aftermath of their lovemaking and more than once giving in to sex without a condom._

*_Above italics are flashback to Thursday morning' below the present at the hospital._

"That's," she said, after he'd kissed her softly, smiling at the way she'd made it possible for him to relive that morning in bed, "when I realized I was very likely pregnant."

"And," he caressed her face tenderly, "you didn't freak out…didn't say anything to me?"

"I was too stunned, shocked at first to say anything," she admitted.

"Were you unhappy…that…this had happened?"

"When you came upstairs," she smiled as she reminisced, "and brought me breakfast, I almost had no option but to tell you. It was the first morning where just looking at eggs made me nauseous…but thankfully…you had the toasted bagels too, so that helped…and then…when you got that 911…it saved me from having to explain to you why I didn't want to eat anymore."

"But," he asked softly, trying to make sure she did not misunderstand his questions, he could already tell his sister Jenna and Bailey were right; Meredith was probably going to be hormonal as hell, and he smiled at the thought of it.

"What are you smiling at…you have this smirk on your face."

"You…"

"You're kind of laughing at me," she challenged, "you were smirking…you're laughing at me…at least tell me why…"

He chuckled, "Meredith, I love you…I love you so much…"

"Tell me," she said, "it's not nice to laugh at your pregnant wi…" she started to say wife but caught herself.

"My pregnant wife," he said, "don't ever doubt it," he cradled her face in his hands and kissed her tenderly, "you are my wife in every possible way that counts…most important of all in my heart Meredith…forever."

"It's ok," she said, and smiled at him, but not before a tear escaped. "In my heart…you are my husband."

"Hey, you're supposed to be happy, not these tears," he said kissing them away.

"They are…happy tears…" she said, kissing him back softly, "except when you're laughing at me."

"Meredith," he smiled at her, their smile exclusively, "I was just thinking that Jenna and Miranda may be right…about hormones…and roller coaster rides."

"You think," she said, as her eyes glittered with remaining unshed tears, "I'm going to drive you crazy?"

"No," he said quietly, tenderly caressing her face. "I think…I'm going to love taking care of you and our baby…and that I'm probably going to drive you crazy, hovering…and…"

Meredith's melodious giggle turned to laughter, and he pulled her close to him, as she continued to tell him every single detail of her discovery; how she wanted to tell him the next morning she'd woken up slightly nauseous; that after annoyingly spending all day in and out of the bathroom, she'd gone back to refresh her mind about pregnancy symptoms and spent every free moment online reading about it; how she'd woken up on Saturday convinced she was pregnant and had gone to get a test and how she wanted desperately to tell him, but he was so excited about his surprise for her, about their upcoming date, she knew her news would only make it better and how she had almost blurted it out, when he leaned in the car to kiss her, the morning of his accident, and then she burst out crying.

"Mer," he soothed, "please…don't cry…it's ok…"

"It's not," she said, and he felt the muffled sob on his lips, and then the gentle pressure of her lips, "I almost lost you….and you should have know…right away…"

"You didn't lose me," he said, "and I know now," he too became emotional at all that could have gone wrong, "and we're going to be together…Meredith…nothing is going to keep us from having forever," and sought her lips and their tears and lips were mingled, sharing the kiss of two lovers sealing the most powerful vow of all…the promise of true commitment forever and the celebration of a new life.

"You better not ever scare me like that Derek…ever…"

"Remember," he said, "those moments…when I know things…"

"Yes…"

"I know…now…that you and I…and our family we'll be together for a very long long time…Meredith…I know we will…"

"Me too," she said, and gave in to that same feeling; that fate has destined them to be together, to spend that lifetime, the rest of their lives, together.

"What did you do?" he urged, "where were you? At home…how did you feel…when you knew…when that stick turned blue?"

"It wasn't really blue…one had two lines, a plus sign…and one turned…"

"How many did you buy?" he smiled.

"Just three," she rolled her eyes.

"What were you feeling?"

"I wanted…needed to be sure," she said, "because suddenly…it was so unexpected…so out of left field, but…it felt so right," she said and expectedly became emotional.

"It does…" he was again facing her, as he lay on his side, and his hand caressed her, moving along the length of her body, "feel perfect."

"So much sadness," she said, "this year…and than this…a baby…felt so right…for us…how much we love each other...it felt like there was no reason to wait…that life is too damn short," she said as undoubtedly hormones, coupled with the very real possibility that she could have lost him, that Derek could have died, ruled her emotions.

"Hey," Derek said, "we agreed…we have a lifetime."

"We do," she said, and before she could reach her face to brush the tears away, he kissed them each away, and then her lips and they spent the next couple of hours sharing every detail of her thoughts and fears about the pregnancy as well as sentimental tears and laughter before they heard a soft knock on the door before it opened.

"Derek, Meredith," his sister Kathleen called out quietly before walking in.

"What are you doing here?" Derek asked as his sister approached.

"Mom called," she smiled, "gave me instructions to bring this," and handed Meredith a carton of chocolate milk, "and remind you not to stay here too late, that you need to get some rest tonight. She already told me about the ginger tea, and believe me that will help in the morning."

"Chocolate milk?" Derek smiled.

"Apparently," she smiled at Meredith, "your wife has a thing for chocolate, so she thought she'd be more likely to enjoy it…not feel like she was giving her orders."

"Thanks Kathleen," Meredith said and took the carton from her and unwrapped the accompanying straw, "I'm starving."

"Mer," Derek said, "you just ate…a couple of hours ago."

"So," Meredith said defensively, "are you saying I shouldn't eat, that I'll get fat and you lied about wanting …"

"Drink the milk Meredith," Kathleen told her, "and you, be quiet, until you learn to figure out what her moods are going to be like."

"I was only going to say," Derek interrupted.

"Derek," Kathleen said and smiled, "take my word for it…don't say anything. I'll see you both tomorrow."

"Wait," Derek said, "Kathleen, are you alone…do you have a car?"

"Yeah, Maggie and Nancy had their car so they stayed behind with Mark and Lexie. Mom called, and I got instructions to check in on you one more time," she chuckled, "but I think she really just wanted to make sure Meredith is going home. She's waiting for her, probably with a midnight snack."

"Do you mind, sticking around a little longer? Driving Meredith home?"

"You want me to leave?" Meredith asked him, "you really don't want me…"

"I'll be in the lounge Meredith, take your time. I'm in no hurry," Kathleen said, and walked out leaving them alone for some privacy.

"I don't want you to leave," Derek told her, "you know that. But, you need to get some rest, make sure everything's ok with you and the baby. Meredith, I want us to have a healthy baby…but most of all, I want you to be ok…please…"

"I know," she admitted, "and Jenna reminded me about this morning, how much easier it will be if I'm home if morning sickness is anything like it was today."

"I'm sorry you're going through that…and I know I can't really help…but I wish I was there with you…even if I can be annoying and…"

"I want you there," she said, "and you will be…once you're home…and for the next several weeks, which hopefully this little one won't be too predictable and make me a walking pregnant cliché with morning sickness and nausea and cravings…well," she smiled, "cravings could be ok…"

"I'll be there," Derek smiled and cupped her face, "every single moment…and do whatever you want or need to feel better."

"I'll remind you of that," she joked, "when it's three in the morning and I want Chinese food."

"You hate Chinese food," he told her.

"I think," she giggled, "the baby's going to like it."

"Really…you want Chinese food?"

"Not right this moment…but I was thinking…maybe tomorrow night, I'll get take out and have dinner here with you…I mean you can't eat it yet, but…I've been wanting that for days."

"Your first craving," Derek said and she was amused by his reaction, "really…Chinese food…that's what you want? Our baby wants Chinese food?"

"I think so," she said, and kissed him softly, "but…maybe it will change…tomorrow."

"We'll get whatever you want," he chuckled.

"Derek," she said softly, reaching out to entwine their hands, "I miss you…falling asleep and waking up in your arms."

"I miss you too," he said as he leaned in to kiss her.

"I wish I could stay with you tonight…"

"I'll be home before you know it," he smiled at her.

"I love you," she said, and her eyes began to water.

"Meredith," he whispered, "we don't want to prove our family right…do we?"

"I don't care," she said, and he wiped away the tears.

"Neither do I," he admitted, "but I don't want you to cry because you're sad."

"They're not really sad tears."

"No?" He prompted, "they're not?"

"Just a little," she told him, "but it's the baby making me cry…and I want to be with you tonight…Derek, the day you found out…"

"Uhmmm…" Derek offered in response. "Let' see," he said and he tried to shift their bodies slightly without letting her know he did have some discomfort, "what we can do."

"Derek," she noticed his wince, "you're in pain…let me get up…so you can get comfortable."

"No," he said, "stay…lay back…please," he asked, and she did, and he brought their joined hands to his lips and kissed the palm of her hand, and brought it to rest on her abdomen.

"You're going to make me cry," she sniffled, "aren't you?"

"Shush…" he said, "trying to have a conversation here…"

"Derek…"

"Hey," he placed his finger on her lips to silence her, "little one…we've already had a talk today…this is your daddy again, and it seems your mommy may have said some things she was confused about…" his hand was on top of hers, "so first…I hope you can feel that kiss…the one that I gave Mommy…right on the palm of her hand…since that's as close to you as we can get right now to giving you a kiss…but, when you're here…I know…you're going to get kisses all the time…because your mommy and daddy…like lots of kissing…"

"Derek," she giggled through her tears, "you can't say that…to our baby…that we like kissing…it's inappropriate…"

"But we do," Derek said, and brought her hand to his lips and again placed it back on her abdomen, "and at some point…she'll have to know."

"We're not going to be kissing and sexy," she whispered, "in front of our babies…"

"Who said anything about sexy," he teased her, "we know where you mind…"

"Derek," she said, "be serious…it's going to be weeks before…" she whispered.

"Why are you whispering?"

"Ass," she mouthed, and he smiled at her.

"Mer," he smiled at her, "you're going to have to watch your language."

"I didn't say anything…babies can't hear if I don't say it…"

"I love you," Derek told her and she smiled.

"I love you too."

"Hey, little one," his hand caressed her softly, "pretty soon you'll find out how much your mommy rambles on…"

"I ramble on?" Meredith giggled.

"And…I just want you to know…when she was talking to you … a couple days ago…she was scared…really scared…and she was thinking some things that were making her sad, but I want you to know…tonight…before she goes home, because she needs to get some rest, and I want you to listen to me…and try to behave…so your mommy can sleep in the morning."

"Derek," she pursed her lips, "you're not…being fair…"

"She was right though," he continued, "about how much we already love you…she had a few more days to tell you, but she knew that the minute she told me her surprise…I would love you, and I do…little one…I love you and your mommy so much…and she was right when she told you that the day you were conceived was surely the most beautiful day of our lives…and I'm always…always…going to be with you…we both are…because your mommy is the love of my life…and now…we both have you to love…"

"Oh, Derek," she said as she turned on her side and bridged the distance between them, careful not to hurt him, and kissed him, "I love you so much…"

"I love you Meredith and our baby…our little girl…" he said as he kissed her.

"You don't know that…" Meredith laughed softly, as they enjoyed another tender kiss.

"I do," Derek told her, "she's going to be a beautiful little girl that I hope looks just like her mother…I hope she has your eyes," his hand caressed the curves of her body.

"I would love," Meredith brushed his lips with hers, "a little girl with your eyes…and dark curls like her daddy."

"She'll definitely have my hair," he teased, "and your eyes…" and they both laughed as he continued to speak to their unborn child of their dreams and their love for their unexpected surprise.

"Derek," she said, "I think it's a boy…"

"Wanna bet?"

"I'm not betting on our baby…" Meredith said.

"Meredith," he laughed quietly, "I don't care if it's a boy or a girl…all I want is for you to be ok…a healthy pregnancy…and a healthy baby…nothing more."

"A healthy baby," she said, "that's all I want."

"We're going to make sure of it," he said, "that both of you are fine. But, you need to get home…I wish I could be with you…but I will in a couple of days…will you go please."

"Yes," she agreed, "I'll go…I know you're right, and your Mom…I'll go home."

"Meredith," he caressed her face, "call me when you get home, so I know you're ok, already in bed. I have my cell phone and it will be on all night if you need me."

"I'll call you, but…" she said as her tone turned bossy, "once we talk…you have to go to sleep as well…get some rest so there's no delay in you coming home."

"I will…and nothing is going to stop me from going home like Sullivan said."

"Derek," she kissed him softly one more time, "while I'm gone…"

"Yes," he said, as he deepened their kiss briefly.

"No flirting…at all…with the nurses," she said.

"No flirting," he said as he tried to keep from laughing.

"I'm going to tell Debbie," she told him, "she's the only one allowed to see a naked McDreamy," and their laughter filled the confines of the room where she'd shared with him all there was to know about their very tiny unexpected and treasured surprise.

Carolyn Shepherd had indeed waited up for Meredith, ready with a freshly baked midnight snack.

"Meredith," Jenna said after joining them in the kitchen a few minutes after Meredith and Kathleen arrived, "I was waiting for you to get here. Mom would not budge, and would not let me have a piece of cake until you did. She said it was the first thing she got to bake for you and her newest grandbaby."

"Jenna," Carolyn said, "tell the truth, you already had your share of baked goods tonight."

"It doesn't count Mom," she winked at Meredith, "you already knew I'd want that…but you didn't let me taste Meredith's chocolate cake."

"You baked a chocolate cake?" Meredith said, her mouth watering.

"Not just any chocolate cake," Kathleen laughed, "her special secret recipe."

"Can I have some…" Meredith asked. "I mean…Jenna said you were waiting for me to get home…and that sounds really good…other than Chinese food…"

"You're craving Chinese food," Jenna laughed, "now? At midnight?"

"No…" Meredith said, "right now, I want a piece of that chocolate cake."

"Mer," Jenna said, "you'll have to taste what Mom baked for me…and I love this cake…but the other one…it's my favorite…"

"Carolyn," Meredith smiled, "you've been baking all night?"

"It was that," Carolyn said, "or have this one drive me crazy…she's been like a five year old since this afternoon wait for a piece of bread, literally."

"You didn't," Kathleen laughed, "that same craving again."

"Yes dear," Carolyn said as she sliced the chocolate cake and gave Meredith her plate, then Jenna and Kathleen.

"Can I taste what you baked for Jenna," Meredith asked.

Kathleen laughed, "I don't think you want that Meredith."

"It's as good Meredith," Jenna argued, "sometimes better than chocolate."

"What is it?"

"Pumpkin, sweet potato and radishes."

"Cake?" Meredith said as she exchanged glances with Kathleen.

"Bread," Jenna said, "but it's almost like a cake…and Mom uses all fresh ingredients and if you add chocolate ice cream."

"Oh no," Meredith said and brought her hand to her stomach.

"Don't knock it," Jenna said, as she helped herself to a piece of the bread, and sliced a piece for Meredith.

"Jenna," Meredith said.

"Just try it," Jenna insisted as she savored a bite and pushed a small plate in front of her.

Meredith giggled, "I feel like Mikey," and the three women laughed at the reference to the old Life commercial.

"This is good," Meredith said, "really good…"

"Mom," Kathleen laughed, "you could have saved some time…baked only one thing."

"I don't think so," Carolyn said, as she looked over at her daughter in law and saw the reaction to her chocolate cake.

"Carolyn," Meredith said, as she closed her eyes and savored the cake, "this is the best…cake…I've ever had."

"Sweetheart, I thought you'd like it…I had a thing for chocolate too."

"This is incredible," she almost moaned as she took another bite. "I may even learn to cook...or bake…I mean…maybe not this…since it's your secret recipe I didn't mean that…just…I guess I'll learn to cook…something…right…to feed the baby…the kids when they grow up."

"Meredith," Carolyn smiled, "it's a family recipe, it won't be a secret to you and of course I'll teach you."

"Carolyn," Meredith giggled, "you have no idea what you're getting into…I can't cook."

"But, I can…" his mother said, "and I can teach you…"

"If you don't kill me first," Meredith laughed.

"And make my son a widower," she said, "never…I'm made of stronger stuff than that; don't forget I was a navy nurse…military training."

"Mom," Kathleen said, "you're an old softie…stop pretending."

"Meredith," Carolyn said, "make sure when your first little girl is born, you don't spoil her like I did this one."

"You think I'm having a girl…"

"I know," Carolyn said, "I'm having a healthy new grandbaby…"

"Derek's talking as though it's a girl," Meredith told them, "but…I'm not sure…maybe later…I'll get a better sense."

"You will," Kathleen said, "and usually…you'll be right."

"She should know," Jenna said, "she's been right four times."

"We didn't talk about it today," Meredith said, "but I'm not sure if I want to know. Maybe wait till the baby's born," she said and instinctively placed her hand on her abdomen.

"You'll figure it out." Carolyn said, "Now, it's time for you to get some rest, both of you, but you specifically Meredith, before my son calls again asking if you've made it home."

"Derek called?" Meredith asked.

"Yes, right before you walked in," his mother said, "and I told him I had baked a cake for you, and that he should give you a little time before you called him to say goodnight."

Meredith thanked Carolyn for the cake and again, agreed with Jenna about the bread. "Kathleen, thanks for driving me home. I really was tired…it's been like this for a couple weeks."

"I know what it's like," Kathleen told her. "Give in to it whenever you can, and allow yourself to rest; just listen to your body."

"Carolyn," Meredith said, "the three of you know, but Derek and I talked tonight…and we don't want to say anything…to anyone else about the baby, not till I see I see Dr. Cameron again and make sure everything's ok."

Meredith was assured by the three women they would not say anything and she quickly got ready for bed before calling him.

"Hey," Derek answered, "Mom's chocolate cake must have been really good."

"It was," she giggled, "but the bread she made for Jenna was just as good."

"The bread with radishes," Derek asked with a frown on his face, "that was good?"

"Really good," Meredith told him. "She's going to teach me to bake the chocolate cake, Derek it's really really good," she said and they spoke for a few more minutes before he heard her yawn.

"Mer," he said gently, "think it's time for us both to call it a night."

"It is," she agreed. "Derek…"

"Uhmmmm…"

"I love you…"

"I love you too Meredith, I love you both," he said as they whispered a few more tender endearments.

Meredith woke to another bout of violent morning sickness at five in the morning, which Carolyn had anticipated and was right there to help her through it before getting her to settle in bed for the fourth time in less than two hours; then she placed a call and took matter into her hands, hence Meredith was not going in to work that day. Meredith slept till after ten, and was not too happy when she'd attempted to reach Derek on both his cell and the room and he wasn't there.

"Meredith dear," Carolyn said, "you have to eat something, remember small meals help instead of the regular meal hours and I've made something for Jenna…why don't you…"

"Carolyn," Meredith didn't realize she was pouting, "I'm sorry ...I wasn't able to talk to Derek…and I'm in bad mood, and I have to get ready to go to the hospital and I don't feel like it…I mean, I want to go be with Derek, but I feel crappy and don't want to work…"

"You won't have to," Carolyn smiled, "come on, get out of bed now that you're feeling just a little better and have a shower, that always made me feel better after a morning like you had, and then come downstairs and have some breakfast."

"You're very kind to me," Meredith told her.

"I'm in full mother mode," Carolyn smiled, "it's been a long time since my kids needed me, and now I have a daughter in law and grandbaby to take care of and an overgrown kid that comes home in a few days."

"I'll have to tell Derek that," Meredith smiled.

"I already did," Carolyn said, "when I spoke to him this morning."

"You did…when…I haven't been able to talk to him."

"When I told him you were not going in to work today and…"

"Oh no, he must be worried now…he shouldn't worry about me…and where is he?"

"He should absolutely worry about you, and he agreed that you should stay home, and he must be doing his various therapies to make sure he gets home tomorrow," she smiled, without revealing the change of plans for his homecoming.

"You look pregnant," Jenna told Meredith as she joined her in the kitchen.

"I do?" Meredith said as she automatically placed her hand on her abdomen, and tried to find any signs of a pouch or belly.

"Not physically," Jenna laughed, "there are no signs of it as far as you showing, but believe me that will happen overnight when you suddenly can see the baby's presence, I meant you look pregnant because she you look horrible."

Meredith was stunned and Carolyn spoke up. "Jenna, what is wrong with you?"

"It's true," Jenna said, "and she needs to know so she can recognize the look and do something about it in the future, Meredith, I only meant you have that I've been through hell kind of morning fighting nausea and vomiting, and if you can see it…other people can tell too…that's what I meant, and if you recognize it in the mornings, have an extra cup of ginger tea."

"Not a very nice way of telling me," Meredith told her. "I didn't tell you that."

"I haven't been looking like you," Jenna said, and smiled as she reached over and placed her hand on Meredith's arm, "but, believe me…I will…and it helps to look in the mirror and anticipate how bad the day is going to be…"

"I look pale," Meredith said, "I noticed that…Derek won't be happy, and probably nag."

"Forget him," Jenna said, "worry about just you…and my niece right now."

"Of course I worry about him…he's in the hospital Jenna."

"Eat your breakfast Meredith," Jenna told her, "I ate mine first so it wouldn't bother you."

"Thank you," Meredith told her, "I don't think I could stomach looking at what you ate yesterday," and just as Carolyn placed a bowl of hot oatmeal in front of her, she placed her hand over her mouth and rushed to the bathroom.

Carolyn insisted, after Meredith was able to eat something, that she relax and not do anything for the rest of the morning. Meredith argued and lost, as Carolyn began to clean their room and bathroom, insisting new sheets and towels would make her feel so much better when she got back to bed, in fact she aired out the room after she'd been able to convince Meredith to go back downstairs, and fortunately stayed out of her hair as she put her plans into action, including getting Jenna out of the house.

Meredith lay on the sofa in the den, unaware of the activities of the last couple hours; and had just disconnected the calls she'd placed to Cristina and Lexie without any luck in finding Derek, her last resort would be to call the nurse's station as surely that would only lead to speculation and gossip, but she was going to wait another half hour and then just get herself to the hospital.

The house was quiet, except for the quiet almost inaudible sniffles in the den, and dismissing his mother and Mark, Derek walked in to find Meredith curled up on the sofa as she held the worn and much loved bunny against her.

"Meredith," Derek said as he sat down facing her, and his fingers lightly and tenderly caressed her forehead; her eyes opened immediately and she attempted to rise.

"Derek," she said, "you can't be here…you're supposed to be in the hospital…"

"No," he smiled at her, "I'm home…where I belong…with my wife…and our baby."

"Home…" she said, and this time he could not hold her down, "you're not supposed to be here…and I've been trying to call you all morning…and couldn't find you…and now you think you can just show up…and I'm going to be happy and not mad at you…because you didn't answer my calls and I'm here worrying about you…and…you drive home…and you could have been in an accident, and…" she looked at him, ignoring his smile, the familiar tilt of the head and started to cry.

"Meredith," he said softly and gathered her in his arms, "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to worry you."

"But …but you did…"

"I was working out the details, so I could be home to take care of you."

"You…you're sick…you've just had surgery…you can't just leave the hospital."

"I didn't," he assured her, "Dr. Sullivan was very sympathetic and he understood I needed to be home with you…and our baby."

"You told him," she asked, as she allowed him to brush away her tears.

"Doctor patient confidentiality," Derek brushed her lips, "he understood completely and agreed I should be home with my pregnant wife."

"But…you're still not well…you need to have your bandages…"

"Meredith," he smiled at her, "he was pretty confident…I could get some great medical attention at home…with five doctors in the family and a nurse…not to mention our friends."

"Derek…" she finally smiled, "pretty soon…the entire hospital is going to know…except our friends and your sisters."

"We can wait…as you wanted…till you see Dr. Cameron again."

"You're ok? You're feeling ok…Dr. Sullivan really said it was ok for you to be home?"

"He did, you can ask Mark…he drove me home and Mom she spoke to him…"

"Carolyn," Meredith said, "she knew…that you were coming home."

"She did, right after she told me how bad a morning you had…and that she was going to insist you stay home today…I told her I was coming home."

"She bullied me, you know."

"Mom bullied you…" Derek stated.

"She did," Meredith confirmed, "kept me out of the bedroom with the excuse I'd feel much better if I had clean sheets and towels…and God knows what else…I saw her with cleaning supplies but I was too exhausted to care."

"So," he said, and made himself comfortable on the couch, and placed his hand on her abdomen, "our daughter didn't pay any attention to me last night…and didn't behave."

"You better stop saying it's a girl," Meredith smiled as she placed her hand on top of his, the bunny on her lap, "it's just as likely a boy."

"You're right," Derek smiled, "and it won't matter at all…"

"It won't," Meredith said. "I'm so glad you're home."

"I can't have you go through this all alone," he kissed her, "I told you…I'm going to be here…even if I really won't be able to help much, especially till I can move without…"

"Are you in pain," Meredith said with concern, "your incision…is it bothering you…you should be in bed…not…"

"Hey," Derek said, "I'm fine…just not as mobile as I'd like…but Sullivan was not concerned that I come home a day early…so you don't need to worry about that. Plus, I've been in bed for almost five days…it's good to be here…like this …with you," and he pulled her closer to him, and she lay her head on his shoulder.

"Tell me," he whispered in her ear, as he touched the small stuffed bunny, "about his travels lately."

"His travels," Meredith asked.

"Yes," he smiled, "Cristina told me she thought you'd reverted to childhood…first Anatomy Jane then the bunny you were carrying around…though, I get the bunny…it's about the baby."

"She has a big mouth," Meredith told him, "but…I'm glad she told you…I wanted to tell you…since the day I found out…I'm glad…I didn't have to spend another day…without telling you…"

"Are you going to tell me…why he's been traveling with you for days?" Derek teased her, and picked up the small stuffed animal.

"Are you sure you're comfortable?" Meredith asked him.

"Yes…but more important…how are you feeling?"

"Jenna told me I looked pregnant," she told him.

"You do?" he said, as his eyes grew wide, and he immediately lifted her top…tracing her skin with his fingertips.

"No…" Meredith smiled, the pleasure of his touch evident in her voice, "she meant that I looked horrible this morning."

"She told you that," Derek said incredulously, "that's not very nice."

Meredith giggled, "that's what I said…but she explained what she meant," she told him their conversation.

"I wish you didn't have to go through that," Derek said as he caressed her tenderly.

"It won't last long," Meredith said, "hopefully just a few weeks."

"Meredith," Derek said, "other than the morning sickness today…how are you feeling? Any more cramping? Anything else bothering you?"

"No…" she assured him, "I'm ok…and the cramping is almost all gone…and it's been very light…nothing too bothersome…"

"You'll tell me," he met her gaze, "if you're not feeling well?"

"I will," she told him, and smiled at him. "Derek, can you believe it…us…having a baby?"

"Yeah…" he said, and she saw how deeply affected he truly was, "and you're happy…about it…no regrets?"

"I was a little …well a lot surprised…and at first…I thought…how will I do this…how can I be a mom…I have no idea…but…it was just for a few moments, because I knew…you'd be with me…you'd be my side…"

"Always, Meredith…we promised…forever."

"We did," she leaned in and kissed him, "forever."

Derek filled her in on his conversation with Sullivan all the arrangements he'd made, and how when Mark drove him home, Carolyn had sent him packing, telling him they needed time alone, and she herself left for the hotel, leaving them a home cooked lunch and telling him she would be back in a few hours; that was how his mother found them, napping on the couch, and she smiled as she placed the lavender throw over their bodies.

Meredith was still groggy but their baby was making its presence felt, so she did left the couch without disturbing him, and spent a few minutes with his Mom in the kitchen.

"I feel I've a gallon of water in my bladder, all day long," Meredith told Carolyn who told her it was normal, and they spoke for several minutes as she told Meredith the rest of the morning activities, including Derek not wanting to go upstairs as he knew he was not supposed to that too often for the next several days, so he'd opted for just joining her in the den, where Carolyn sent her back to, telling her she'd be bringing them both lunch in a few minutes.

"Where were you?" Derek asked as she came back in to join him.

"Your son," she smiled, "insists on making me go to the bathroom constantly."

"Our son," he smiled. "This is going to be a very confused baby."

"Derek," she asked, "do you want to know…what we're having?"

"Do you?"

"I'm not sure…I mean…I've got so much to learn and there's not a lot of time, and we have to get so many things ready…and figure out which room is good for the nursery…and what color to paint…and what things to buy…I've never even really held a baby Derek…except patients…but not like you hold a baby that's yours…or that…"

"We'll get it all done…" Derek smiled, amused by her rambles, "we can ask my sisters before they go home…what we need to get…and when we should start getting everything…and they'll know Meredith and Mom…she's been through this so many times…she'll help, if you want her to…it's up to you…they can be a bit…"

"Overwhelming," Meredith smiled, "but…they're your family…and…Jenna and Kathleen…they know…so…I can ask for their help."

"You can," he said, delighted at her reaction.

"You didn't answer my question," Meredith told him.

"About what we're having?"

"Yes."

"Truth?"

"Of course," she said, "we need to do that Derek…always…no secrets...we need to tell each other how we feel…all the time. It's what marriage should be Derek."

"I'd love to know," Derek said, "but I'd also love to be surprised…the day our baby's born…but, we'll do whatever you want."

"Derek," she smiled, "I'm kind of thinking that way too…this was such a surprise…I mean…we talked about it …we mentioned babies…but now that it's real…maybe…I think…I'd like to wait too…"

"Then we'll wait," he said and kissed her.

"Really," she said.

"Really," he said, and she knew that's what she wanted.

"I'm glad," she said, "somehow…to wait…to experience that moment…so magical…like you said…and beautiful and sentimental…and then…we find out if it's a boy or a girl."

"Meredith," Derek said, as he reached for the stuffed rabbit on the sofa table, "you still haven't told me…his role."

"Well," she smiled at him, "you haven't told me about your surprise yet…and you already know my secret…it's not fair for me to tell you…"

"But I already know about the baby…so you can tell me…"

"No…I think you have to tell me yours first."

"Meredith," he pouted, "it's not fair…and you said…you have the sonogram…and you haven't showed me…you said…"

"Oh my God," she said, "Derek, you see…I'll probably be a terrible mother…how can I forget that…I haven't shown you…and I didn't show you yesterday because I had it here at home, so I wouldn't be tempted to look at it all day…because we had to see it together…the first time…we saw our baby… and now…you're here…and I haven't showed you…and," she got teary eyed.

"Meredith," he said tenderly, "you're not a terrible mother…and there's been a lot going on…and you did not forget about our little one," he said as he caressed her abdomen, "we've been doing nothing but talk about him…or her…"

"I'm not…" she said, "you don't think it means I'll be a terrible mother…and that I'm not bonding with the baby…and…"

He silenced her with a kiss; one that held a smile, "no, I don't think any of that."

"Do you want to see the baby?" she asked softly, the thought of it bringing tears to their eyes.

"Yes," he whispered, "but…I think…I want to tell you about my surprise first…because after seeing our baby," he paused, as emotions overwhelmed him and wasn't able to speak.

"Derek," she said, and cupped his face, this time, her turn to place her lips over his tears. "I love you…and this is really really big…emotional and sentimental…and amazing."

"After…" he said again, "we see the baby…nothing…could possibly compare…or be as important as that…"

"I think," she said, "whatever you had planned, will be just as sentimental…because, I know how much it meant to you."

"It was…but…now…" he told her, as their gazes held, absolute awe reflected to the other. "Nothing can compare to the moment we see our baby…"

"You are determined," Meredith said, and laughed softly, "to make me a water faucet, much worse than Jenna."

"But," he teased her, "we'll be worse…since Rob doesn't cry as well," he said as his eyes glittered with emotion.

Meredith made a decision on the spot as she picked up her old loved bunny. "I wasn't quite sure," she said, "how to tell you…because I had to at least be as romantic as you…which I knew whatever you had in mind was…because you were so excited…so I thought…maybe…this was a way…of telling you…making it special…you know…not just blurting it out…or showing you that I had three tests that were positive…"

"What," he asked her, "were you going to say?"

"You're not going to laugh at me? That I'm not good at this…at being sentimental and romantic…like you are?"

"No," he said, and caressed her face tenderly, "I'm not."

"I thought of telling you in the elevator…" Meredith smiled, "or the lounge…where we had our …"

"Our wedding," he filled in for her, "our very special wedding vows."

"Then I decided I'd wait…and tell you…at the end of the evening."

"How?"

Meredith took a deep breath, "don't laugh at me…or mock me…"

"Never," he smiled, and she swatted his arm playfully.

"I figured, we'd probably would have had sex…somehow…during that evening…so I had the bunny with me…or rather…I was going to have the bunny with me…close by…wherever we were…probably here at home…in bed…"

"Mer…" Derek chuckled, "there's one thing I know for sure…about our baby…"

"What?"

"Boy or girl…" he teased, "both …ramblers…they hear you know…what goes on."

"Ass," she mouthed, and he roared with laughter.

"Still don't want the baby to hear it?"

"No…and don't forget it…you have to watch your language too," she smiled.

"We'll have to make sure we tell our friends," he smiled amused, "they could be a very bad influence."

"You're right," she said, "I had not thought of that…Derek…we can't leave them alone with our kids…ever…which means it's going to be hard…nobody will be able to babysit…not that I want to leave the baby…but…sometimes…we may need to go out…oh God…and I have to work…and then…who's going to take care of …"

"Meredith," Derek said, "breathe…"

"I am…Derek…but…"

"We will figure it all out…we have over seven months to figure it all out."

"Ok," Meredith said, "you're right…"

"Hey, Bunny…" Derek took it from her hands, "was she always like this…you must have had some wonderful conversations when she was a little girl…and I bet you thought she was as beautiful and delightful as I do…"

Meredith giggled, "you're talking to him…"

"Hey," Derek said, "just getting ready for when the kids expect us to…they will you know…these become their friends…and they have wonderful conversations."

"I had to keep mine quiet," Meredith said suddenly, and he saw the sadness in her eyes, "Mom thought it was silly."

"I don't think it's silly," Derek cupped her face and kissed her, "and our baby won't ever think that…ever."

"Our baby, our kids…we'll tell them about fairy tales and Santa Claus and the tooth fairy…and …"

"We'll tell them," he said, "and Prince Charming…"

"And knights in shining armor," she kissed him.

"We'll encourage them…to use their imagination…and help them…as they begin their journey to be just like their mom…extraordinary."

"And their dad…because it's together Derek, only together…that we're truly extraordinary."

"We are," Derek said, and they allowed themselves the pleasure of a deep longing kiss.

Meredith took the stuffed toy in her hands and smiled, "just pretend."

Derek kissed her, "ok."

"Derek," she said, and he knew she had replayed this scene often in her mind. "Do you remember when we found this? With my mother's things?"

"Am I supposed to answer?" he asked, "I mean was I supposed to answer, now as though it's the first time I hear this?"

"Yes," she giggled, "pretend, I was telling you this."

"Ok," he smiled, "yes."

"Do you think your mom kept one of your old stuffed animals?"

"I don't know," his hands were on her body, gently caressing her, his fingers soothingly caressing her arm. "Why?"

"Do you think it would be a nice tradition…for our kids, if they could have something like this from when we were kids?"

"It would be a nice tradition," he smiled, imagining how he would have reacted that night, if this is what she'd said. "When we have kids."

"Derek…do you think you could ask your mom?"

" I could ask her…remind me," he smiled, again wondering what he would have actually said, if he would have been this calm, if he'd realized what she meant or have been brainless and oblivious.

"Do you think you could ask her…" she smiled, "soon?"

"Soon…" he smiled, "how soon?"

"Next time you talk to her…or sooner…maybe you could call her…a special call…"

"A special call?"

"You could call her and just ask her…but she'd probably wonder…why you're calling, even think that something was wrong, so you could just make sure she knew it was a really special call."

"What would I say to her about a special call?"

"That…I asked you to call…because…" she smiled at him, but he saw the tears, "we're going to have a baby…and I want our baby to have something…from when you were …"

"You…" he said, and became lost in the moment, and went along with what could have been, as emotional as he imagined they both would have been that night.

"Derek…" she said, as she too went along with what could have been.

"You're…we're having a baby…"

"We are…" she smiled, and placed her lips on his, just savoring the feel of his.

"When…how…it's …how…" he said, and they reached for the other and once again, relived one of the he most poignant and emotional moments in their life together, the moment they welcomed their precious tiny surprise into their hearts.

"You think" she said, long after they'd continued to talk about how their life would change, how happy this unexpected baby made them. "You'd have liked to have found out like that?"

"I'd have loved…to find out like that."

"Bailey said you'd be preening like a peacock."

"She called me a peacock," Derek laughed.

"That was your mom's reaction too," she said and their laughter filled the room, where the once great Ellis Grey had spent hours perfecting her knowledge, but never ever gave as much thought to nurturing her, as Meredith had already began to do.

"We have to ask her," Derek told her, "if there's anything of mine she's kept…that we could have for the baby."

"I'm sure she has things," Meredith told him, "she's a mom…a great mom…" she said melancholically. "She'd want to keep things like that…of sentimental value," and her thoughts became absent, before she met his gaze again. "I'm going to…keep things…for our baby…so he knows…how special…how very special he is…was…to us from the very moment we found out."

"Meredith," Derek said tenderly, as he took the bunny from her, and held it up, "your Mom…she was sentimental too…about you and things that were special in your life…she kept these things…remember…all the things we found…including this, she kept them because they were special to you."

"Thank you," she said, and in this moment, the way he spoke to her, the way she was feeling about her own child, their baby…the tiny baby she prayed would be healthy and strong…she chose to believe, that once, long ago, her mother too had thought she was special and wanted to preserve priceless and sentimental memories of her child.

"Meredith," he said, as he lay resting on the couch, she had insisted he do so when he refused to go upstairs. He wanted to stay with her, because he knew two trips up the stairs in one day was not recommended. "I'm thinking that maybe, tonight…we can pretend…it was our date…and have dinner here…and make it special, just the two of us, and we can have our special night."

"I don't need dinner…to make it special…you can tell me, anytime…it will be special," she leaned down to kiss him, and she wrapped the comforter around him; she'd helped him change into comfortable sweat pants and jacket and insisted he rest. "Derek," she said to him, "you could tell me now."

"I can't," he said, "Mark…he's picking it up…he should be here soon," and as if on cue, they heard Mark's and Carolyn's voices in the hall before they walked in the den.

"You owe me another pair of shoes," Mark said, as he handed Derek a very small gift bag, and then lifted a clear plastic hospital bag that held his belongings, "those wrecking places are murder on Italian leather."

"Oh God," Meredith said, as she saw the red shirt and bloody jeans and sports jacket, and holding her hand over her mouth ran out of the room.

"Mark Sloan," Carolyn reprimanded, "what possessed you to bring that in here…that girl doesn't need any more reminders of what happened that night, to see the bloody clothing."

"He asked me to," Mark defended his actions, "very specifically he told me he needed to get that bag…and bring it to him."

"Derek," Carolyn turned to him, "are you so insensitive…especially now?"

"Mom," Derek told her, "I didn't know he was going to give me this in front of Meredith, but I did ask him…to find it…it's very important…what I had in there…that's what I needed," he said, and instructed Mark to search for the envelope in the pocket of the sports jacket, which unfortunately held remnants of blood, and asked him to get rid of the rest of the clothing and avoid giving Meredith any additional reminders of that night.

"No," Meredith said, as she walked back in, "have it dry cleaned," she said, "he survived…that's what matters…and that shirt…don't get rid of it."

"Mer," Derek said.

"I'm ok," she said, "it just…brought everything back…"

"We'll get rid of it," Derek said.

"It's my favorite shirt," she assured him, "and…you survived…I think…it's your lucky shirt."

"Maybe it is," he said, as she sat down next to him. "The night I met you…"

"The night you survived," she whispered. "Definitely lucky shirt."

"I'll get rid of this," Carolyn said, and reached for the envelope.

"No," Derek said, "I need…what's inside."

"I'll just get rid of the envelope," Carolyn told him.

"Mom," he said, "just leave it…please. I'll take care of it. It's…"

"You were giving me this," Meredith reached for the envelope, "that night?"

"Yes," he said.

"Then leave it," she said, "we'll look at it later."

"I think," Carolyn said, determined to give them time alone, "it's time you went to bed Derek, you need to be resting and Dr. Sullivan agreed to you coming home a day early because he was confident we would make sure you did not over do it."

"Mom," Derek told her, "I'm fine here. This is a comfortable couch…and…"

"You know," Mark said, "what you need is a sofa bed, so you don't have …"

"It is," Meredith said, "I told Derek, but he wouldn't let me do it…he's still worried, that I fainted and that I'm fragile, which I'm not," she smiled at him, knowing full well that was not the reason he didn't want her lifting, and she had agreed with him, "but I wouldn't let him do it either…he's got…"

"I'll do it," Mark said, "Shep, get your ass up from that couch," and before long, Meredith had gone upstairs to get sheets and Carolyn put Mark to work making room for the sofa to be open and putting sheets on the bed.

"I'm going to have dinner with your sisters," Carolyn told Derek, "but I'm going to leave everything ready for the two of you. Meredith, you only need to heat your meal. Derek gets his bland meal, and I hope you like yours. I'll be back later tonight so I'm here in the morning, if you need me. Everything you need to change Derek's bandages and the prescriptions are upstairs in your room. Mark," she instructed, and he obeyed as he'd done for so many years as a child, "come along…"

"Mom," Derek said, "Meredith…do you mind…I want to talk to Mark."

"Why," Meredith said, immediately on alert. "Is something wrong, are you feeling ok?"

"Nothing's wrong," Derek assured her.

"Derek…"

"Nothing's wrong," he told her.

"Meredith," his mother said, "let me show you what I cooked," and placed her hand around her daughter in law's waist. "Don't forget you need to drink milk, that's not an old wives' tale, at least one glass a day, but you'll talk to Dr. Cameron about that next time you see him. How are you feeling dear? How's the cramping?"

"Very light," Meredith told her, "almost gone…but, I'm still worried."

"You and my grandchild are going to be fine," Carolyn hugged her close to her, "I know it, without any doubts, just like I know Derek's going to take care of you."

"I need to take care of him," Meredith said, as they sat across each other in the kitchen, a glass of milk and a piece of bread in front of her, as she smiled at his mom.

"Right now," Carolyn said, "you need to take care of yourself. We'll be here the next several days and help out, so you just give in to all of the domineering Shepherd women, and let us take care of you, you're going to be on your own soon enough."

"Will you stay with us…" Meredith said, "I don't mean for you to do anything…or work…and cook and all that…that's not the reason…I don't want you cleaning like you did today… you need to let me take care of that…but…it will be nice to have you here…Derek will like that…and we…we can get to know each other better…and I have to be at work…so, if you can stay…I won't worry about Derek while he's home convalescing."

"I would like that," Carolyn placed her hand over Meredith's "very much. You let me know…how long you'd like me to stay…and I'll be here."

"But," Meredith said, "you can't just take over…I mean…I know you'll want to cook and stuff…since you do it at home…but you can't be doing laundry and cleaning…"

"Meredith," she started to say, a bit reluctantly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing dear, but I'm afraid…I did something…that you may not like…it' s nothing bad, but…well…I may have interfered and it's none of my business…but I had to say something to Derek and I'm really not trying to be a meddling mother in law…"

"Carolyn," Meredith laughed, "Derek and I agreed about one thing…about the baby…"

"What's that dear?"

"That whether it's a boy or a girl…they'll ramble," she smiled, "it seems to run in both sides of the family."

"That seems to be true," Carolyn agreed.

"Now," Meredith said, "you want to tell me what you did?"

"I told Derek he needed to hire a maid, that I'm not going to be here for very long, and neither are his sisters and you have a lot on your plate with work. And I know the hours are brutal, I have four daughters that are doctors and fourteen grandchildren and you being pregnant and with him at home for several weeks, you cannot do that."

"Was there anything else?"

"No," Carolyn said, and waited for her reaction to her meddling. "I thought that was enough."

"I believe," Meredith said, "you may be right. Though, you could have told me too," she smiled at her, "if you'd told me this morning, after your grandchild made sure I knew of his presence, I'd have agreed with you."

"You think you're having a boy?"

"I don't know," Meredith smiled at her. "But, we agreed…we're going to wait, we're not going to find out, so I don't want the baby to feel bad…so I think…maybe it's a good idea to alternate…saying he or she…when I talk about the baby."

"I should warn you," Carolyn told her, "his sisters are going to try to convince you otherwise. They are already talking about what they need to buy."

"I think," Meredith told her, "we're pretty sure…we want to wait. But, they can buy things…after I see Dr. Cameron…they can…and just not get pink or blue."

Meanwhile, Derek spoke to his childhood friend, as they sat on the edge of the bed. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Shep," Mark said, "I didn't think amnesia was a side effect to a splenectomy…this is me…you know I can't keep a secret worth a damn."

"I disagree," Derek told him seriously. "I think, if it's important to me, as this is…you can and you will," and he extended his hand to him.

Mark nodded, deeply moved by his friend's faith in him, in spite of the way he'd betrayed him. "I'm glad you didn't die Shep. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I'm glad you didn't have to find out," Derek told him, and the two men exchanged a poignant brotherly hug. "You're a good brother Mark."

"You need me," Mark said, "balance out the four sisters…"

"You're right about that," Derek chuckled. "I need your help," he told Mark as he set his new plan in motion, confident his friend would not reveal any of it.

"Derek," Meredith said when she joined him in the den; they were now alone in the house. "Do you need anything?"

"Only you," he said. "Come lie down with me."

"That was my plan," she said, and lay down next to him. "I haven't really done anything today…but at this time of the day…the last few weeks, I'm just exhausted and want to do nothing but sleep."

"Meredith," he said, "if you need to cut back your hours…I don't mean just this week, what Bailey did to make sure you got some rest. But, as the weeks go by…I don't want you to work those long hours…"

"I think I'll be fine," she told him, "but…if I need to do that, I will. This is all new to me Derek, these feelings….all these emotions…but…the one thing that I know without any doubts is that I'm going to do everything I can to make sure we have a healthy baby…and if that means cutting back on hours…you won't have to prompt me, ok…"

"Ok," he said, as she felt her arms around him, careful not to disturb his incision, and within seconds, she was asleep and remained so for the several hours, without even waking when Mark came back to the house and gave him the requested documentation.

"Meredith," Derek said quietly, "time to wake up," he whispered in her ear, "or you won't sleep tonight."

"Tired," she said, and tried to snuggled up to him, but he wasn't there.

"I know," he said, he couldn't easily bend over to kiss her, but his hand caressed the curve of her hips. "But, I bet you're hungry too…"

"You got Chinese," she said suddenly.

"I did," he smiled, "I ordered."

"You mom," Meredith said, as she continue to lie back, enjoying his gentle caresses, "she cooked…she's not going to be happy."

"We won't tell her," he said, "and I still have to eat the bland stuff she left for me."

"You want me to lie…to your mother," she glared at him, "what kind of example is that...for our baby?"

"Meredith," he teased, "she doesn't know…we're lying to his grandmother, and it's to avoid hurting her feelings, after she cooked for you."

"You know," Meredith said, and sat up, "we need some rules…we keep forgetting them."

"Rules…"

"Yes, no secrets…or lies…because, that's what we need to teach the kids."

"Ok," he said, not daring to contradict her.

"Don't just tell me that to shut me up either," she glared at him again.

"No lies," he agreed, "or secrets…except good secrets."

"Secrets are never good Derek…they lead to a lot of trouble."

"No secrets," he told her. "But, there can be good surprises…"

She thought about it, "fine…but not for too long…you can't keep me hanging forever, even with good surprises."

"Speaking of surprises…" he smiled, and she noticed he'd shaved.

"You shaved…Derek, are you crazy, you shouldn't be standing over the sink shaving…that's too much right now…and I don't mind the stubble."

"I know you don't," he teased and smiled at her suggestively. "I used the electric shaver. I plan on spending lots of time…kissing my wife tonight. If…she doesn't fall asleep on me again."

"It's not my fault you know," she smiled at him, "it's really yours."

"It's my fault you fall asleep on me, or rather that you were too tired to wait up for me the last few weeks."

"You know it is," she said and reached for his hand to lay on her abdomen. "Really," she whispered to him, making him want to laugh, "her fault, but I don't want her to know that," her voice returned to normal. "She just needs to know…how happy we are…that she's here."

"That we are," he said, "hear that little one," he smiled at Meredith, as their hands remained on her abdomen, "we are very happy …and the day we meet you is going to be the happiest day…other than the day your mommy and I met…and the day we knew we loved each other…and…" he continued enumerating all their incredible milestones, as he called them.

Meredith answered the doorbell and soon she was eating Chinese food, while Derek ate some pureed mix, and in her case more of Carolyn's chocolate cake for dessert. She'd given Derek a sliver of Jenna's bread to taste and he'd declared it to be rather disgusting, and now they were sitting in the living room on the couch facing the fireplace, which as requested Mark had taken care of lighting.

"It's not what I had planned," Derek told her, "originally…but I thought the fireplace would add a little romance."

"Just being with you," she said, "it's adding romance."

"Mer," he smiled at her, "you're really sentimental…"

"I know," she said, "I'm going to get hell for it…from Cristina and Alex probably…and of course Mark…"

"Mark won't tease you," Derek told her.

"Derek," she laughed, "are we talking about the same Mark Sloan?"

"Yeah," he told her, "the one I'm thinking could be our baby's godfather."

"You want …Mark…the manwhore…to be…"

"I want Mark, my childhood friend…and brother…to be…"

"He will be," Meredith interrupted him, "it's important to you, I can tell…so he will be."

"It will mean a lot to him," Derek told her, and she knew he was right.

"That means," Meredith said, "we have to have a godmother…"

"It does," Derek told her. "I figured it would be Cristina."

"Derek," she said, "I don't know much about it…I mean what grandparents do…but I think…there's a baptism or christening …and godparents I don't think are Jewish."

"I guess," he said, "we'll figure it out…before the baby's born. We'll ask Mom."

"Are you going to finally tell me what your plans were…it's almost eight Derek…and pretty soon…you're going to accuse me of falling asleep on you," she teased him.

"Can't have that," he said, "not in the middle of my romantic surprise…at least I thought it was…but, Meredith, I guarantee…that night…if we'd had our date, you'd not have fallen asleep."

"Really," she smiled suggestively, "I like that idea."

"Meredith," he said, "don't tease…I'm as good as asleep for the next few weeks."

"Just think," she said as she leaned in to kiss him, "how much fun we'll have…making up for lost time."

"That," he said, "I can promise you…we will…"

"So," she said, looking at the envelope and small gift bag on the table, "Mark found those…in your car," she said, and he saw she began to get upset.

"Don't think about it," he soothed as his hand caressed her back, "just think of us…now, we're together now…and happy…and a baby's on the way."

She snuggled close to him, "yes…I'll just think of that."

"I considered a lot of different options," he told her, "but I'd already done the elevator proposal and the post it in the lounge…and so I decided we'd have dinner at the Italian place you like…and take dessert with us…their cheesecake…and then….we were going to go to that place…where we began to fall in love…"

"Overlooking the ferry boats," she said, as her eyes got misty.

He nodded, "and we'd drink a bottle of champagne this time...and wait for the sun to rise…and then…I was going to give you this," he said, as he leaned over slowly to reach for the two items, and handed her the envelope, urging her to open it.

"You're going to make me cry again," she said, hesitating before she took out the contents.

"I hope," he said, and she saw how much this meant to him, "it's going to make you realize what you mean to me…how my life is nothing without you."

"Derek," her eyes sparkled with tears, "you're not being fair…at all…I'm an emotional mess of hormones…yes…I have to admit that…"

"You're my beautiful…amazing…emotional wife…and our baby's mother…my one true love…Meredith…the love of my life…that's what you are…"

Meredith opened the envelope and saw airline tickets and a confirmation from August 14 to August 21 on letterhead from a resort in the Bahamas, and then she saw his note and the one sentence in his handwriting, that made her hold her breath and search his gaze as she reached for his hand.

"_I promised you, the morning after the best non-wedding night ever…we'd have our wedding."_

"Derek," her lips trembled slightly, "you wanted this…a wedding…still…"

"Always," he told her, "it was always meant to happen…our wedding."

"August 14th…that…it would have been….in about five days…you…we were supposed…you wanted us to be married…not just the post it…"

"It's on the third month anniversary," he told her, "of our wedding…that day Meredith, and I don't need this for our wedding …our marriage to be real…but…I'd told you, after Izzie was well…we'd get married…and I thought…what better date…than …"

"You want this?" she asked, as tears were about to fall.

"If you do," he said, and took the box from the small gift bag and gave it to her, "only if you do," he said, and she opened the box to find two platinum wedding bands.

"Derek," she said, "you wanted this…before…before you found out…that I was pregnant."

"Of course I did…" he said, "Meredith…I've always wanted this for us…"

She reached for the rings, "when…when did you do this…this is what you were getting…before you came to get me…that day…you were getting our rings…."

"They had to be engraved…and they were ready that afternoon," he told her, and saw how she took her ring and read the inscription and after meeting his gaze, started to cry.

_A/N 17JAN10 – When this chapter reached 17,000 words, I knew there was no way I'd finish all I wanted to include. Thus, Chapter 15 will bring the story to an end, and the last scene of this story is in fact, already written. I'm just filling in the in between that I believe makes for the better story._

_Thanks for still reading, and to each of you that comments my heartfelt appreciation._


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N 22 January, 2010 - Thanks to all of you that commented, I've replied to all of you with a link. Sourpatch, rosie, lourdi, thank you!!! Don't think any of you will be surprised that chapter 15 became too long, and thus after reaching 16,000 words and still unfinished, decided to split it probably in 3 parts. Hope you enjoy the way this chapter and those that follow unfold. Warm regards, Jasmin_

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 15**

"Meredith," he soothed; her name on his lips gentle as a caress. "Mer…please…don't cry. We don't have to do this…we don't. We're married, as far as I'm concerned…we are married, and we don't need rings or anything to prove that. I'm sorry…I didn't mean to upset you…"

"That's not…" she said, as she shook her head and continued to cry, "that's not why I'm crying."

"Then…why," he asked softly, kissing her tenderly; once more, as in the last few days, kissing her tears away, "I don't want you to be upset…or unhappy…"

"Our wedding date..." she said softly, and wiped the fresh tears away "our wedding date…you have…the date…on our rings…it's…"

"Our wedding date," he said tenderly, as it dawned on him, the tears were emotional and sentimental. "Our only wedding day."

"May 14, 2009," she said, "our post it wedding…"

"That's our wedding day Meredith, always will be…"

"The Bahamas…you wanted that…you meant it…about going away."

"I wanted to give you the honeymoon you deserved…and I thought…there was no harm done if we made it legal and never have to worry about it again, or it possibly being a legal issue. But, our marriage, our wedding day, our promises…our vows…our marriage commitment…began on that date in the lounge…that was forever."

"That's what you told them…the inscription…for our rings," she said as she blinked away the tears and read the inscription again; _Forever 5-14-09_

"Forever…" Derek told her, "it's always been that way in my heart, just as you've been my wife since that moment. We don't have to do anything else…we're married already."

"I do," she said, "I do want to…because you do…you always did…Derek…that first time, when you told me…that's the first thing you said to me," she reached for his hand and held it as she caressed it tenderly. "I want to marry you…have kids with you, and I wasn't ready…but I got ready, I did…and we'll be married, legally…I want to share that with you…all that you wanted…and we're half way there…the wedding…a baby…and Derek, I do want the same things that you do."

"We are more than half way there," he said as he wiped the last of her tears away and kissed her lips gently, "and taking little steps," he smiled at her, "and…baby steps…now, we need to start working on building that house…"

"Baby steps," she giggled, "more like huge steps…leading to French doors and the living room overlooking the better view…and the room…where the kids will play…"

"All of it…Meredith…we'll have it all."

"But," Meredith told him, "we can't…we can't travel now…"

"We can postpone it, till I can travel," Derek told her. "Maybe in a couple of months, we can still go and enjoy our honeymoon…you won't be able to drink, but we can try some of this…" he said, as he took a bottle of Martinelli's apple cider from the ice bucket by on the table by the lamp.

"How did you get that?"

"Mom…" he smiled at her, "she knew I wanted to be alone with you…and I asked her."

"Does she know," Meredith asked, "about your surprise?"

"Only Mark knows," Derek told her.

"Mark knows," she laughed, "and he didn't tell me, didn't make some sort of bet on it?"

"I asked him," Derek said, "for a favor this afternoon."

"What?"

"We can't travel for a couple of months, so I thought…if you'd like," he was uncertain, nervous in fact about what her response might be, "we can still have a wedding…a legal ceremony on the fourteenth, like I'd planned for that day, but here instead."

"You mean," she said, "get married in a few days here in Seattle?"

"We don't have to…it's only five days away…we can wait."

"I want to," she said without hesitating, "I do want to, because we won't be able to travel…not even in a few months."

"Meredith," he told her, "there's no reason we can't travel and go to the Bahamas in a few months. We just need to change the dates at the resort…"

"I can't…no…Derek…I don't want to travel…I don't know if it's ok for the baby…I know people do it…and if I hadn't had cramping, I'd want to go…I would but I don't want to take any chances."

"Then," he said, hoping to convince her later, "we can go next year, for our first anniversary…our first wedding anniversary."

"We can't leave the baby…" Meredith said, and it surprised him, but he smiled at the protective and nurturing motherly instincts.

"Baby trumps husband," he smiled. "I should have learned from Miranda."

"Maybe," she said, not wanting him to feel the way he'd said about being trumped, "a few days for our anniversary, we can go away…we can have your Mom be here…and stay with the baby, I mean we'd need to have help, I don't expect her just to be here and do everything…but if she's here, that would make me feel better…but we can't go far…someplace really close by only."

"We can do that," he smiled, and as in very rare occasions he said a silent prayer, "keep her safe and healthy…and our baby, and thank you for her acceptance of Mom's nurturing, you know she's never had that."

"Derek," Meredith said, and he saw the tell tale signs of nervousness as she held the rings in her fingers, "if you want …before your Mom leaves…she was so upset that she wasn't here…when were were supposed to have our wedding, and she's here now and…maybe…while she's here, we get married... just us…and your Mom."

"I thought," he said as he locked gazes with her, and though he knew it was impossible to love her more, he fell just a little more in love with her for wanting to do this, for taking his mother's feelings into account. "Maybe we could, it doesn't have to be right now, but in a few weeks…that's why I had Mark go and get another marriage application…we have to do it again since after sixty days they expire…and before Mom leaves…maybe we would go to City Hall."

"I'd like that," she told him, "I really would. But, let's do it on the fourteenth."

"In five days…"

"In five days," she smiled and leaned in to him, resting her forehead on his, "like you had planned…like my surprise."

"Five days," he said upon her lips and kissed her. "Do you want to see if the ring fits…I know you may not want to wear it…but we can use them… have rings at the ceremony."

"I'll wear this," she said becoming emotional as she held her ring, "how can I not want to wear this?"

"I love you Meredith," he said, as he cupped her face and kissed her again; softly, tenderly, gently at first and then their kiss became a promise; vows of recommitment, promises of the future, the future that suddenly was now.

"Oh, Derek," she wanted to keep from crying, "I can't stop crying…but they're happy tears…they are…that you love me…and now…that you know about the baby, no more secrets…and the other night you teased me about finding another love, I wanted to tell you that I had a another love, but it was for both of us…for both of us to share…and I feel all this love for a baby… and it's amazing…this feeling…something I never really imagined would happen in my life, and there he was…or here she is…and now I can never imagine my life without you and our children…and making that dream come true…our kids…in that room on our cliff…where our kids will play."

"You," he kissed her again, "just made sure…we're going to prove Bailey right," he said, "two emotional hormonal roller coasters," and the sounds of their laughter and happiness filled the room where months before they'd consummated the first honeymoon, the night they'd expected to be married.

"Derek," Meredith said later as they lay on their bed, "I've changed my mind about something."

"You don't want to marry me…again…" he joked with her.

She turned on her side and reached to entwine their hands and had them rest on his chest, mindful of his recent surgery, "no…"

"About what then?"

"Your mother's ring," she said, "I'd like to wear it…while she's here…and for our ceremony…I'd like to wear her ring."

"Meredith," he said, stunned would be the right description to what he was feeling, as well as immensely happy; he would have never pushed her to do so, but that she wanted to do this, meant more to him than he'd realized.

"I won't," she said, misinterpreting his continued silence, "if you don't want me to…but I thought…she was really upset…and I won't wear it every day…with surgeries, but …"

"Meredith…do you have any idea how much that means to me…that you'd do this…because of what it means to Mom…"

"When you gave me our rings," she said, "I saw the inscriptions, and I knew…I'd always want to wear it, my wedding band, to have your words, the words you chose for us…close to me…and I realized," she wiped away a tear, "what that ring meant to your mother…and I knew…I wanted to wear it…on the day of our wedding ceremony with her present…and honor the memory of what she shared with your father."

"Oh God," Derek choked back a sob, and brought his hands to cover his eyes and she saw how he pursed his lips and the effort he was making to hold it together.

"Derek," she said, "I don't have to wear it…I don't…"

"Do you know," he said, "do you have any idea," he continued to speak as his voice broke, "how much shame I feel…how I dishonored their memories when I took a bat and…"

"Hey," Meredith said, and leaned over him, placing her mouth on his lips, "no more of this…it's over…that's all behind us now."

"How can you say that…you want to honor what they shared…while…I...I'm their son, and after Ma told me he always meant for me to have the ring…I defiled…"

"Derek Christopher Shepherd," Meredith said in a very bossy tone, "you are going to make me very upset…and our baby…if you don't stop this…"

"Meredith," Derek opened his eyes, "are you ok…Mer…I don't want to upset you."

"You will," she said, "if you don't stop beating yourself over this…Derek…it's over…"

"I don't deserve you…you're forgiveness…"

"Ok," she said, "you are really going to piss me off Derek…"

"That's not hormonal Meredith," he said suddenly, "that's the old bossy…"

"It's both," she said, "so stop it…" and then gently, tenderly, "please…"

"I don't want to upset you…"

"You haven't," she said, "but you will, if you don't put this behind us."

"You want to wear Mom's ring?"

"I do," she said, and she turned, "while she's here…and we should tell your sisters that we're getting married in five days, since there's no reason to wait weeks… if they want to be here…I'm ok with that…I've realized how important it is to them…I've changed my mind about that too…so just us…and some of our friends, they'll want to be there."

"I had Mark find out," he said, "if you agreed about getting married at City Hall, he already talked to someone, a notary there that was willing to come here so we could notarize the papers for the license…and when they're done…it takes three days…they can come back and marry us here…or our land…I should be able to go there in five days…"

"You're not going anywhere in five days…that makes you exposed to all sorts of infection on the ferry…not when you've just had your spleen removed, and you won't be comfortable if we drive around, it's too long…you need to rest… we can do it here."

"Where it all began," he said smiling, that smile that was exclusively theirs, "one fateful…night."

"Who was to know…a one night stand…would..."

"You were never that to me," he interrupted her.

"Neither were you…" she said, "you became the love of my life," she said as their lips met and the depth of their commitment was again conveyed to the other.

"Derek," a soft knock was heard on the door, "it's Mom…I'm home dear, if either of you need anything during the night, call me."

"She's going to be happy," Meredith said, as she turned from him and reached inside the nightstand drawer, "when I'm wearing her ring," and gave it to Derek.

"My wife," he said as he took her hand, and placed the engagement ring on her finger, "forever."

"Forever," she agreed as they exchanged a gentle kiss. Passion regrettably put on hold."

"Meredith," he said, as they lay facing each other, faces barely inches away, "that word…it was a great hint…forever…"

"It was," she agreed, as she kissed his lips again. "We both picked perfect hints…"

"We did," he said, and gently caressed her face.

"Derek," she smiled, but he saw the glimmer of sentimental tears.

"Uhmmm…"

"It's time," she said, "to meet our baby…to see our baby…for the first time," and she heard the intake of breath, and the expression of joy in his face, and he met her gaze and saw the same pure joy and happiness as she took an envelope and handed it to him, and his hands shook slightly as he removed the black and white image of their child.

"Meredith," he said.

"Derek," she held back tears, "he's perfect…"

"She is," Derek said, "Meredith, look…the head…and the arms…"

"Little leg buds…Derek…look…" she said as she cried tears of immeasurable happiness.

"Hey," he said, "come on…no tears…"

"You have tears too…"

"But, I don't want you to be upset…the baby can probably feel that…if you're crying…"

"He cannot…" Meredith said, "you're making that up…"

"Meredith," Derek laughed, a slight nervous laugh, "I have no idea…no idea at all," he said, "we're going to learn together," and that helped to make them smile, and continue looking at the four different views Dr. Cameron had taken of the tiny surprise that was now one of the most significant part of their lives.

They lost track of how much time they spent scrutinizing each of the four images of their baby. Then, as was anticipated by Derek, before ten o'clock Meredith could no longer keep her eyes open.

"Derek," she said, long after he thought she'd fallen asleep. "Are you awake?"

"Uhmmm..."

"I need to tell you something," she said.

"Uhmmm…"

"Derek," she said a little louder, "I've been thinking…and I have to tell you something."

"What?"

"You have to be awake," she sighed, just a bit impatient.

"I'm awake," he mumbled.

"Open your eyes," she said, "and look at me."

"Yes…" he of course indulged her.

"I've changed my mind," she stated.

"About what?" he wanted to chuckle.

"Don't laugh at me," she pulled back a bit from his embrace.

"I'm not," he told her, "but you make me smile…all the time."

"I'm going to remind you of that," she said, "one day, when we've managed to really make each other…"

"Ok," he smiled, and interrupted her. "What did you change your mind about?"

"We aren't going to be able to travel… even on our anniversary…Derek…the baby is only going to be about 7 weeks old, and I don't want to leave the baby…not so soon… I know I won't want to, and I'll be breastfeeding so it will make it so difficult…so we have to wait… when he's a little older."

"We can do whatever you want," he kissed her softly, "and wait till she's a little older."

"Derek," she smiled, "I think we've managed to get it all straight."

"What's that?"

"You're saying she…I'm saying he…so that will help, so the baby knows we love…Baby Shepherd," they both smiled, and he gathered her in his arms as she finally gave in to her baby induced exhaustion.

Carolyn Shepherd knocked softly on their bedroom door but heard no response, and since it was clear they were not likely engaging in any amorous activities, opened the door slightly and called out again, "Derek…Meredith…"

"Mom," Derek answered, "I'm with Mer…she's having a rough morning."

"I've brought some tea dear; I'll leave it on the nightstand."

"Carolyn," Meredith said as she and Derek walked in the kitchen a couple of hours later, "that tea and crackers seemed to work this morning…I only threw up twice. Derek's hungry now though, since he's still eating bland foods…I thought…"

"I've cooked breakfast for him, according to the diet they sent home, which is probably something that will be good for you too."

"Oh no," Meredith said, "I want real food this morning."

"You do?" Carolyn questioned.

"Sweet potato bread sounds good…if there's enough to share with Jenna."

"I made enough," Carolyn said, "anticipating you may like it as much as she does."

"Mom," they heard Jenna's voice, "hope you made breakfast. We're all here."

"That girl eats like a trucker," Carolyn said.

"Mom," Jenna said as she walked in the kitchen, "did you just call me a trucker?"

"She did," Maggie walked in behind her, "and she's right, you're eating like a trucker, and don't even consider pouting. I've had my share of emotional tears this morning, but don't just take my word for it, ask Kathleen and Nancy…they're ready to kill her. I swear she's never been this bad before…you'd think she's having twins…"

"Oh good God," Jenna said, "that's a terrible thing to say…"

"Jenna Patricia," her mother scolded.

"I think," Kathleen said, "she could be right…all this overload of emotions…"

"Maggie," Jenna said, "this is no time for Irish blessings…and if I do have twin boys, you're the godmother to them both…"

"You see," Maggie laughed, "why you and I get along so well…Ma, that was my intent, my wish for two boys for her…"

"What," Meredith said, "did I just miss?"

"We'll have to give you some tips," Nancy said, "on Irish blessings…they could double as much as a curse as blessing."

"Nancy," Carolyn said, "a baby…or two, would never be a curse."

"I know Mom," Nancy said, "I witness those little miracles every day."

Meredith exchanged glances with Derek and smiled, "can I show her?"

"You want to? Mer…you don't have to?"

"It feels right," Meredith said, "it feels perfect," she said and walked out of the kitchen.

"Derek," Kathleen said, "you're smiling like the cat that swallowed the canary."

"I'm happy," he said, "to be home…with my wife…and sisters…and…"

"And the cook?" Carolyn said in mock offense, purposely interrupting him, knowing he would not forget to mention her.

"And," Derek got up and went to his mother and hugged her, "the best mother anyone could ask for. I love you Ma."

"I have to say," Maggie commented, "this feels like an emotionally charged room this morning…I thought Jenna was bad…but…something's going on here. Derek, you're ok right? Nothing's wrong? Mom's being too emotional…I know her…there was more to that hug…"

"Maggie," Meredith said, as she walked in, "if you think Jenna was bad…you're probably going to get a double dose…in this kitchen…"

"That's what I just said," Maggie looked at her, "something's going on."

"There is," Derek said, as he took the envelope from Meredith, and his sister Nancy was the first to notice her hand.

"Mom's ring," Nancy said, and she exchanged glances with her brother, and the tears welled in her eyes, "Meredith…"

"You're wearing my ring," Carolyn walked over to her, "you…I thought…"

"We're getting married," Derek said, "again," and all hell broke loose, but not before Carolyn reached Meredith and embraced her in a motherly hug.

"Oh sweetheart," Carolyn said, "you…don't have to…but…" she pursed her lips, much as Derek did. "It…what we had was so special…I wish the same for you…but many years together…not like our short time…but a whole lifetime…"

While his sisters settled in the kitchen, Derek explained what his plans had been, his surprise and how they'd made plans the night before to go through a legal ceremony in Seattle in five days. "We thought," he said, "Ma would be here…and if you can…if any of you can stay…you'd be here, like you should have been the first time."

Chaos reigned until it was decided that Nancy and Maggie would fly home that night, and return for the wedding ceremony, while Kathleen and Jenna would stay. Derek offered to pay for their tickets, which was dismissed immediately, reminding him they all had their own very successful practices.

"Ok brother dear," Maggie said, "since we won't be here to help, let's go…my turn to clean your bandage."

"I don't need for you," Derek started to say.

"You should be in the hospital, count your blessings you're here," Maggie said, "and pretend I'm a nurse…wait, no…don't pretend I'm a nurse," she shook her head, as if thinking of an unpleasant experience, "just accept I'm a doctor, and a damn good one at that."

"Fine," Derek said, "but…" he glanced over at Meredith and smiled. "Before we go…there's something else …some news…we'd like to share with you."

"You're kidding," Jenna said smiling, "Meredith…" she said, and her sister in law nodded, "you're not joking…you're telling…"

"Jenna," Maggie said, "what are you going on about now? And why in the world are you crying…again… I swear…it's a good thing Nance, that we're getting a little break, I don't know how you do it…pregnant women day in and day out."

"You have no idea," Meredith smiled, "how much of a break you're getting…because if you stayed…and you think Jenna's been bad…and hormonal…you don't want to be around Derek and me."

"You have been a little irrational," Maggie said, and looked at the smiles on everyone's faces except hers and Nancy's, and she immediately reacted with a knowing smile. "You're pregnant," Maggie said, "Meredith, you are pregnant, Derek…you're …" he smiled at her and nodded, "you're going to be a dad…" and just as emotional as her sisters she walked over to his brother and hugged him and cried.

"You're pregnant," Nancy said, "and oh my God…Meredith…what I said, that day…and you thought…I'm sorry…so sorry…"

"It's ok," Meredith told her, "Derek and I have talked…there's nothing to apologize for…nothing at all," she said and in shocking display of affection, she felt Nancy hug her.

"I can't ever," Nancy said, "be sorry enough for the pain I caused you with my thoughtlessness, or thank you enough for what you did…for Mom…to spare her feelings. I hope, one day…you can forgive me."

Meredith, stepped away from her embrace and extended her hand to Derek, and he knew what she was asking for and handed her the envelope. "I already have," she told Nancy, "it's in the past."

"You really mean that," Nancy said.

Meredith nodded in confirmation and smiled, "want to meet your niece…or nephew…" and handed her the envelope with the sonograms, which were quickly passed around to the critical eye of the four doctors.

"You're eight weeks…" Nancy said, "a day or so shy of it."

"I am," Meredith said, "that's what Dr. Cameron said, even though I thought I couldn't be possibly more than four or five weeks along."

"Mom," Maggie laughed, "you've had to deal with them both…the last few days…"

"It's been a blessing Maggie," Carolyn smiled, "two new babies…nothing but blessings."

"I know Mom," Maggie told her as she hugged her, "makes me even think about having another one…"

"You're joking," Jenna said, "Maggie…you keep saying…"

"So," Maggie said, "I lie…I'd have another one…and John wants one…who knows…I'll wait and enjoy your babies…and then think about it."

"Mom," Nancy laughed, "I think you're getting more grandchildren than you expected."

"I'm not pregnant," Maggie said, "not now."

"Not now," Kathleen laughed, "being the operative term," and the sisters laughed, and Derek was forced to go lie down and have his bandaged changed, while the six Shepherd women continued to learn about each other and build upon familial bonds that would last a lifetime.

"Nancy," Meredith said a while later, and did not mind sharing the information that all but Nancy and Maggie had been aware of, "can you tell, from the sonograms…if there's anything wrong…I've had cramping…and it's going away…but…"

"When was this taken?" Nancy said, going into full doctor mode, as well as concerned sister and yes, sister in law. "When did you experience the cramping, what's happened since…how are you feeling now," she kept up with her questions, including asking Meredith if she could talk to her doctor, and together they placed the call as Meredith sought her expertise and the desire to get further reassurances about the healthy status of their baby.

"Meredith," Nancy told her as she looked closely at the sonograms, "based on what you and Dr. Cameron have said, and looking at these images…I cannot foresee that there is anything wrong…and if you were my patient…I'd be assuring you that there is no indication at all…for anything to go wrong," she said.

"Oh," Meredith said, "thank God…and thank you…for talking to him…and…" and reached over and hugged her very briefly "you really…you don't think…"

"I think…" Nancy said, "I'm going to have a beautiful healthy niece or nephew…around the third week in March," and as she said that, Derek walked in the living room.

"Third week in March," Derek smiled, "Meredith…we can still go away…"

"No," she was adamant, even after Nancy assured her there was no reason she could not travel in her second trimester. "I'd rather we go…" she told Derek, "like we spoke about…a short trip for our anniversary."

Derek's family left and it was agreed Jenna and Kathleen would stay at the hotel over the next several days, while Carolyn would stay with them, as the plan was for Meredith to return to work the next afternoon, still on Bailey's reduced five hour schedule, and take some other days off to be at home with Derek when his family returned home.

Carolyn prepared an early dinner in order for her family to spend some time together before Nancy and Maggie flew home, and during this time talk turned to wedding preparations, which unlike Izzie's extravagant plans, his sisters respected their wishes, and it would be a simple ceremony with less than fifteen guests present.

"Derek," Meredith said once they'd gone to bed that night, "we have to tell everybody…I mean, we're planning this to happen in five days and we should tell our friends, and I'm glad, that your sisters will be here and they understood our wish to keep this simple."

"Mer," he chuckled, "they'd have agreed to anything we told them…as long as we are asking them to be here."

"I'm glad," Meredith said, "it's just us…that you thought of this, being private…that nobody has to know…people are going to talk anyway…and say that you're doing this, because…I'm pregnant."

"Uhmmm…"

"What?"

"Do you believe that?"

"No," she said, "I know you wanted this…before you knew…but…I'm glad…I guess there's a little bit of old fashioned in me…you know, so the baby never thinks that…"

"Our baby…only knows how much we love him…or her…and all they will ever need to do is look at or wedding rings…and see the date of our wedding…the day we became husband and wife was long ago Meredith…and has nothing to do with a baby…"

"I know," she said, "and I was ok…I could be…if we never had another ceremony. But, I do want what you want…don't ever doubt it Derek…all that you wanted…that's what I want for us too."

"Mer," he said, careful in how he was going to voice his thoughts, "have you noticed, when you talk about the baby, you've also been talking about kids…not just…"

"I told you," she turned to face him, "remember…the candle house…"

"How can I ever forget…even though," he teased her, "I was afraid you were so mad at me you'd decided to set my land on fire."

"Oh…you ass…" she said and smacked his arm.

"Hey," he protested, "you can't abuse a patient…"

"I'm smacking my husband for being…brainless…and stupid."

"So much," he smirked, "for not wanting the baby to hear all of this…"

"Technically," she glared at him, "he doesn't know we're talking about him."

"Selective hearing," he teased her, "I see."

"You're lucky you're," she forgot what she was going to say the moment his fingers began to gently caress her bare stomach, and he began to talk.

"Hey, little one," Derek smiled at her reaction, "you need to get used to your very bossy mommy…and know that when we get a little louder than usual…it just means we really really love each other…so we feel very passionately about things…and our voices…"

"You're telling our baby that we are loud," she giggled, "that is so totally inappropriate…"

"I wasn't talking about S-E-X," he mouthed to her, and her laughter filled the room.

"I love you Derek…I love you so much," she kissed him hard, "even…when you're being a brainless ass."

"Mer," he chuckled, "when does the baby can hear us rule come into effect?"

"Uhmm," she smiled at him, "I really should look into it and find out when that actually happens."

"Mer," he looked at her seriously, "I think…even if the baby can't hear us, he knows…all we've been telling him…the baby can sense how much we love him…or her…already."

"I think," Meredith told him, as every word reflected her love for this man, "you are determined to make me cry…every time you say something like that…"

"I'm just telling you how I feel…"

"I know," she said, "my knight in shining armor…my prince charming…my very own…never to be shared McDreamy…my husband…forever."

"You're doing a pretty good job," he smiled at her, kissed her lips tenderly, "at making me compete with Jenna too," he said as he brought her closer to him, and had her lay her head on his chest while his hands were tangled familiarly in her hair.

"Derek," she said, as she made herself comfortable, "it's a good thing we're not to picky about which side of the bed to sleep," she laughed, "I've heard that can be real bone of contention with some married couples."

"But we're not most married couples, are we?" he said as he kissed the top of her head, and she reached to entwine their hands, avoiding the incision on the left side of his chest, making sure there was nothing impeding him holding her all night.

Thankfully she was only up once the following morning and Derek had been with her, hovering and patient as she let him take care of her.

"I have to go," Meredith whined and pouted as she sat next to him on the bed, "and don't want to leave you," she leaned in to him and rested her head on his shoulders.

"I wish you didn't have to leave either," he held her hand in his and tenderly kissed her temple, "but…you won't have to be gone long today, only six hours."

"I know," she said, "but still…"

"You'll see," he told her, "the minute you get busy at the hospital, you'll be glad you're there, instead of stuck at home taking care of a patient..."

"You think," she faced him, and he pretty much knew the hormones were on overdrive, at least though, she'd been spared the violent bouts of morning sickness today. "You really think that…and that I'm a terrible wife, because I'm not here, to take care of you and instead I'm…"

"I do not think any of those things," he treaded lightly, "but you know what happens when we get all caught up with cases…"

"You're trying to avoid telling me you don't want me here, since I can't cook…and…"

He reacted instinctively and cupped her face and silenced her with a kiss, and as his tongue slipped inside her mouth, he heard her soft moan and hoped that for now, this was a way to deal with the over emotional reactions.

"I have to go," she said again, as she remained in his embrace.

"I'll see you this evening," he told her, and when she rose from the bed, pulled her into him, and smiling kissed her abdomen. "Hey baby," he spoke quietly, "your daddy's really happy you paid attention to him this morning…and you let your mommy get some rest…she thinks she can handle just one little reminder every day…but be good to her…while she's at work today…ok…we love you."

Meredith leaned down and kissed him, "I love you Derek," she took his hand and placed it right where he'd kissed their baby, and put hers on top of it, "we both do."


	16. Chapter 16

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 16**

Meredith's absence from the hospital was not noticed by many, thus when she returned for an early afternoon shift, all seemingly was back to normal. Except, Cristina knew something was going on with her friend, and decided to confront her after she came across her during an afternoon break where Meredith was standing in front of the nursery window wiping a tear away at the same time she smiled.

"Ok," Cristina said as she walked up next to her, "I've stayed away while the Brady Bunch is visiting…"

"I was away from here one day Cristina…because Derek came home."

"I get that, and that you wanted to be home with Shepherd, and that you're sentimental and all that crap…because he almost died. Seriously Mer, if you saw the car, it's a wonder he didn't …" and before she finished her sentence saw that her friend was about to breakdown and cry, and pulled her along into the nearest door, which happened to be a storage closet, where her person burst into uncontrollable tears.

"Mer," Cristina said, at a loss of words, but knew she had to do something, so she patted her friend's back, which only made it worse. "Ok…that didn't work. Mer, I know I'm insensitive, and I shouldn't have said that, but Shepherd's ok Mer…he didn't die."

"I know," she said, and then totally out of context in Cristina's opinion continued, "but you…still think babies are toxic," and wiped the tears away, "that's what you were thinking…when I was at the nursery window."

"Well, yeah."

"You can't think that," Meredith told her as though it was the most important thing in the world. "Not anymore."

"I said that a long time ago," Cristina told her, not certain where Meredith was coming from, but somehow sensing there was more to the emotional outburst. "I didn't say it now, while you were looking at the little people through the window."

"I'm pregnant," Meredith blurted out.

"Crap."

"No," Meredith said, and again her eyes welled with tears, "not crap…you can't think that…about my baby."

"You're not crying because you're pregnant," Cristina said, unsure of her friend's feelings.

"Yes."

"Ok…so babies are toxic."

"No,Cristina…I mean…yes, I'm crying because I'm pregnant and I'm emotional and hormonal…and you said…Derek almost died…and his car…and…he didn't know about the baby…and…they're not toxic…you can't say that about our baby…"

"So…hormones are making you cry. But, you're happy about it."

"Yes," Meredith said, as she looked at her friend in defiance, "and you can't think my baby is that…or …you can't say those things around him…"

"You're having a boy," Cristina said. "Crap, Shepherd's going to be preening like a peacock."

"You can't say that either…"

"What that he's preening like…"

"No," she whispered, "can't say crap…or that babies are toxic…"

"Meredith," Cristina said, "you expect me to change my thoughts about them…and I can't say crap…"

"Yes…and no…"

"Yes," Cristina tried to decipher, "I have to change my mind…and I can't use that word."

"Yes," Meredith said.

"Ok," Cristina agreed.

"You're doing that."

"What?"

"Agreeing with me… just to humor me."

"No."

"You are too."

"Maybe," she said, and was surprised to hear Meredith laugh.

"Cristina," she smiled through her tears, "you're going to be an aunt."

"An aunt," Cristina said and met Meredith's gaze.

"To my baby," Meredith told her, "can you believe it...me a mom, and you have to be nice…because, I'm going to think I have a beautiful baby…no matter what."

"He will be…" Cristina said. "Good hair genes."

"I think it's a she," Meredith told her.

"But, earlier you said he."

"I don't want the baby to feel like it matters…so I alternate."

"Mer," Cristina said, "the baby can't hear now…"

"How do you know?"

"You're not sixteen weeks pregnant, that's the earliest they've detected baby's can hear."

"I'm not."

"How far along are you?"

"Eight weeks."

"Eight weeks! Crap…Mer…and you are just telling me."

"Cristina," Meredith smiled at her, "I think…if that's the baby's first word…Derek will kill you."

"Probably," Cristina smiled. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know, not till last week…and I wanted to tell Derek first, and he had the accident," she began to tear up, "and I almost didn't get to tell him…but I did…thanks to you…"

"What did I do?"

"You told him I was carrying the bunny around, and being emotional…and he guessed…"

"Oh yeah," Cristina said. "He wasn't brainless."

"He was wonderful."

"Wait, you fainted. You're pregnant, what was why. How are you feeling?" Cristina asked her.

"Terrible morning sickness…some cramping…"

"Meredith, cramping…you've been to the doctor? Should you be working…Mer…you have to take care of yourself…I mean…I didn't…it's not what was right for me, but you and Derek."

"I'm ok," Meredith told her, "cramping's stopped and I'll go see Dr. Cameron next week."

"Bailey," Cristina said, "she knows, that's why she cut back your schedule, even though nobody was supposed to notice, and the day you fainted…Mer are you sure you're ok?"

"I am…and yes, that's why I fainted, and the cramping is gone…now, none over the last twenty four hours."

"Ok," Cristina said.

"Cristina," Meredith said almost whispering, and her friend saw the happiness on her face, "do you want to see the baby…meet your nice or nephew?"

"You have the sonogram?"

"I do…I have copies in my locker, after Derek and I saw them…I just made copies…"

"I do," Cristina said, "now?"

"Yes," Meredith said, and they walked out of the storage closet.

"It's tiny," Cristina said, once they'd made sure no one else was around.

"It's amazing…being able to see her."

"Or him," Cristina said.

"We're not going to find out, until the baby's born."

"Mer," Cristina said, "even I know there's got to be a baby shower. How do you buy things for it, if you don't know?"

"It's not it," Meredith told her, "you can't call her it, and you can buy something else...that's good for both."

"Mer, if it's a boy, you won't be able to hide it."

"I'm going to tell Dr. Cameron not to point it out to us."

Cristina laughed, "it's hard to avoid sometimes…they just point…and hard to…"

"Don't you think the baby's amazing," Meredith said as she looked at the sonogram.

"Mer," Cristina said, "it's a little embryo…"

"It's my baby," Meredith told her, doubts resurfacing briefly, "that I hope…is really ok," she said, and Cristina saw the fear in her friend's eyes.

"It…" Cristina started to say, "Baby Shepherd is amazing."

"Thank you," Meredith just nodded.

"That's my niece or nephew," she said and briefly hugged Meredith, "who is going to be my tiny person," Cristina said, "just don't expect too much hugging…but today…"

"Yeah," Meredith laughed, "he or she…is going to love Aunt Cristina."

"I'll do the fun stuff," Cristina said, "have Lexie do the other stuff."

"Like what," Meredith asked, her heart warmed by Cristina's reaction.

"Changing diapers and feedings…"

"Oh my God," Meredith said suddenly, "Lexie."

"What about her?"

"She doesn't know…I have to tell her…she's my sister Cristina…you and her…and Derek's sisters guessed…but…nobody else…not till I see Dr. Cameron again."

"They guessed?"

"Jenna," Meredith rolled her eyes, "she's pregnant too…and they can spot a pregnant woman a mile away."

"Who can spot a pregnant woman?" Lexie said as she walked in to the lounge. "Derek's sisters," Meredith said, "his sister Jenna's pregnant and hey knew right away."

"I was looking for you. Derek called and said to keep an eye on you. He said he was still worried about your fainting spell the other day."

"I'm ok," she said, and she saw Cristina smirk.

"Derek called Mark late last night," Lexie went on, "for us to come over for dinner tonight."

"Yes," Meredith said, "just us…and Cristina…you…and Alex…and Derek's sisters."

"Meredith," Lexie said, "what's going on?"

"Nothing," Meredith told her, "he wants his friends over for dinner…nothing's wrong."

"Are you cooking?" Lexie asked.

"Carolyn is," Meredith said, and began to walk away before her sister asked any more questions, she wanted to tell her, but right behind Lexie several others had walked in, and so she'd tell her tonight, or if they saw each other before she went home. "I'll see you later," and waved her hand and heard two simultaneous gasps.

"Mer…Meredith…"

"What?"

"You're wearing a ring…" Cristina said, "That's the engagement ring he carried around."

"You're wearing Carolyn's ring…" Lexie said, "You changed your mind?"

"It means a lot to her," Meredith said, "it made her happy," and walked away smiling.

"Something's going on with her," Lexie said, "that's not normal…that she wants to make his mother happy. She doesn't even do families…you've heard her. What do you know?"

"Nothing."

"Crap. You know something…definitely."

"Lexie," Cristina smiled, "don't say that around Meredith."

"What, that you know something?"

"No, the word crap," she said and walked way smiling.

Midway through the day, Meredith was beginning to drag, the expected exhaustion settling in, when Derek called her and reminded her to take a nap, and it was as she was walking into an on call room that Lexie saw her and followed.

"Meredith," Lexie asked, "what are you doing here? Are you feeling ok…have you felt faint again? Maybe Derek's right about being worried, you never said anything about the test results Dr. Bailey ran."

"I think I forgot something," she said, "just came in to look for it."

"What did you forget," Lexie asked.

"This…well, Derek and I were in here the other day…before…"

"Sit down," Lexie said, "you look exhausted…"

"It must have been a different room," she said, but her sister made her sit, and joined her.

"Meredith," Lexie smiled at her, "Derek's not worried about you fainting…well, maybe he is…but, you're pregnant…aren't you?"

"Why…why would you say that," Meredith asked.

"Because…you are…and you can't hide the sentimental tears…" Lexie said, as she mirrored her sister's expression.

"I am," Meredith told her, pleased by her sister's enthusiasm. "Lexie…I am…"

"I'm going to be an aunt again," Lexie smiled. "How are you feeling? How far along are you? Is Derek over the moon? Are you happy…Meredith…when did you find out?"

"Yes," Meredith smiled at her, "good…almost eight weeks…yes…yes…a week ago."

"A week…and you didn't say anything. That's why we're coming over for dinner?"

"No," she said, "can you keep a secret? Please?" She decided she'd share the wedding with her sister, since she'd shared the baby news with Cristina first.

"For you…" she smiled, "yes."

"Derek and I are getting married."

"You're already married…sort of…I mean you think you're married and the post it is over the bed…on a frame…and all that…"

"We are married," Meredith laughed at her rambles and told her how she and Derek agreed their baby, boy or girl would definitely be a rambler. She also told her about his plans before the accident, and their decision to have a legally binding ceremony on their third month wedding anniversary.

"So…in four days you're getting married…and you're having a baby…"

"We are," Meredith smiled at her sister, whose eyes were shimmering with tears, "but we're not having a baby in four days," she joked.

"Meredith," Lexie said, "you're happy…both of you…"

"We are ecstatic…about out baby…"

Meredith's pregnancy, for now, was a closely guarded secret amongst friends and family; but the news would spread like wildfire even before Derek returned to work, as in their own individual ways, her friends and in particular her husband, became fiercely protective of her.

"Mer," Alex asked as he signed some charts, "what's up with dinner? I'm not really in the mood, probably just get home."

"You prefer the trailer now?"

"No," he said, "as a matter of fact, I went to look at a place a couple days ago and I'm gonna take it. Gave the old couple a deposit. I'll move in next week. You and Shepherd can get the trailer back."

"Alex," Meredith told him, "you can stay there…Derek and I don't mind."

"She's not coming back anytime soon," Alex said. "This place is close to the hospital, and they're nice. They're both retired and it's a nice basement. They travel a lot to visit their kids, so they were willing to give me a break if I agreed to look after the house when they're away."

"If you're sure," Meredith said, "if that's what you want."

"Yeah," he said and shrugged. "If she comes back, it's a nice place. She'd like the kitchen. The place is big, and the basement even has an area that opens out to a nice yard."

"I hope you'll make it for dinner tonight, it's just for our friends and family."

"Mer, I'm in a shitty mood, not great company."

"You're my friend Alex, my family. We'd like you there. Sort of a celebration…you know…Derek's home…and he's ok," she said, and he saw the emotions on her face.

"I'll be there," he told her. "What time?"

"Dinner at seven," Meredith said, and when he left placed a call to Izzie, yet another one that she knew would remain unanswered.

"Big Grey," Mark teased her and she turned and glared at him.

"That's really getting old," she glared at him, "you damn well should be able to tell the difference between us by now…since you're sleeping with my sister…and you better not hurt her."

"Shit Grey," Mark looked at her, wondering where all that had come from, "I was only going to ask what you wanted for dessert? Shep asked me to pick up a cheesecake for dinner tonight but I called to make sure it could be ready early and they asked me what kind I wanted…and Carolyn said he was napping, so I didn't want…"

"You're getting cheesecake," she softened, "Derek asked you?"

"Yes…" he narrowed his eyes, "he did…"

"That's really nice of you," she said, her tone totally different than her earlier reprimand.

"Meredith," he seldom used the name, and leaned in to her, "what the hell's going on? Shep has me running around doing errands; Lexie and Yang were laughing and stopped as soon as I approached…yes, it was disturbing to see Yang sharing secrets with Lexie, and holy shit…you're wearing Mrs. Shepherd's ring."

"Don't be late for dinner." Meredith told him without addressing his questions.

"You know," Mark told her quietly, "that's going to start all sorts of rumor…you wearing that ring."

"But you already know," she smiled at him, "why I am…sort of…he told you his plans."

"You told him you weren't a ring kind of girl…good thing he didn't go ahead with the whole rose petals on the bed crap."

"What rose petals on the bed?" Meredith asked.

"Shit," he said, "nothing."

"Mark Sloan," Meredith said, "don't you dare walk away."

"I'll see you at six," he called out to her, "don't be late. They charge by the hour," and with that comment the rumor mill at Seattle Grace had a field day, as gossip of all kinds began to spread, angering Derek and surprisingly amusing his wife.

"Shep," Mark said hours later when he walked in the den, "what the hell is going on with Grey…she chewed my head off for calling her Big Grey…and gave me this speech about not hurting Lexie…and then she turned all sweet and wanted to make sure I wasn't late for dinner."

"I have no idea…must be because of the wedding …"

"I haven't said anything," Mark told him, "but Shep…she's wearing the engagement ring, and that set the tongues wagging…and the betting pool…"

"You're joking," Derek said.

"No," Mark told him, "I swear I have not said a thing…but some ass made some comment she must have realized she stood to lose your inheritance if you'd died and she wasn't legally your wife."

"That's preposterous," Derek said in an angered tone, "why can't people mind their own fucking business."

"Don't kill the messenger," Mark said.

"I'm not," Derek said, "I'd just hate for Mer to hear about it…she has enough going on."

"What don't you want me to hear about," Meredith asked as she walked in and kissed him, and sat between him and Mark.

"Nothing."

"Derek Shepherd," Meredith told him, "we talked about this yesterday, no secrets. Mark, start talking."

"I…" Mark stuttered, "I…forgot…have to put the cheesecake in the fridge."

"You got the cheesecake," she smiled at him, "what kind?"

"I got both," he said, again surprised by the rapid change of attitude.

"Thank you," she leaned to kiss his cheek, "for everything. We both appreciate it all you've done. Tracking down Derek's car…and we'll get you new shoes by the way…if they were ruined…"

"There's no need," Mark told her and winked at her, "consider it a wedding present…for the real wedding," he joked.

"Ass," she mumbled under breath, barely audible.

"Did you just call me an ass?" Mark asked her.

"Derek," she turned to him, "talk to him…about that…"

"About what?" Derek asked, not sure what she meant exactly.

"Ass," she mouthed.

"You want me to talk to him about that…" he questioned, "now?"

"You said you could trust him," she told him, "and if you still want him to …you know…"

"What the hell are you two talking about? This is like a rambling version of …"

"You cannot use any of those words…not anymore," Meredith told him.

"What words? You two have lost it…brainless is nothing compared to…"

"Derek," she smiled, and reached for his hand and placed it low on her abdomen and covered his hand with hers, openly encouraging him to reveal the news of their tiny secret, "you sure you can still trust him?

"You may not agree," he said, "after you hear what he told me?"

"What…" she said, her eyes twinkling with amusement, "that the hospital rumor mill is making bets on a real wedding for us since I'm wearing this ring? And…that they think I'm a gold-digger out for your inheritance?"

"You know about that?" Derek and Mark asked simultaneously.

"I heard," she said, and laughed, "but, since I know better…"

"Shep," Derek turned to him, "what the hell happened to her? She'd have been mad as…"

"Don't say it," Meredith glared at him, and then turned to Derek, "tell him."

"Why don't you?" Derek smiled, partly wanting to make sure what he said was exactly what she meant, or else, there'd be hormonal hell to pay.

"Me?"

"Uhmmm…"

"I need a drink," Mark said, "make that a double," and started to get up, when he felt her hand on his arm stopping him.

"Mark," Meredith said, "Derek and I…we…it meant a lot to us…that you made all the arrangements for the notary public to come out tonight…and get all the documents signed, so we can get our new marriage license, and…we're getting married…on the 14th…the night of our third month wedding anniversary."

Mark was speechless.

"Mark," Meredith prompted, "did you hear me?"

"Tonight…" Mark said, "it's about that…"

"Sort of…" Meredith told him.

"What else?" he asked.

"Well," Derek told him, "I expect you to be my best man."

"For real," Mark said, "this time."

"For real," Meredith said, "hence…the ring."

"I saw," Mark said, "the other rings. Nice, beautiful…what Shep chose."

"It was," Meredith said, "it has a lot of meaning to us…that's our wedding day."

"Ok," Mark said, "you're really doing this…"

"We are," Derek told him, "Nancy and Maggie are coming back for the wedding."

"Holy shit, Shep you're going to do that all over again…"

"Mark Sloan," Meredith's bossy tone was back, "you have got to stop using foul language…you can't do that anymore."

"Why?" Mark asked as with as he frowned.

"Because," she told him, "babies hear that…and they start talking and they'll say," she whispered, "crap and shit and hell…and I'm not having those be the first words our baby learns."

"Your baby," Mark repeated and looked from one to the other, "your…baby…"

"Our baby," Derek nodded.

"You're pregnant…"

"I am," she smiled.

"You fainted," he said as realization dawned on him, "that morning…you fainted…because…you're pregnant."

"Apparently so," she smiled.

"You're ok? There was nothing wrong? That hasn't happened again? You went to the doctor? Bailey ran tests…and you're pregnant…" he said.

"She is," Derek smiled at his friend.

"Shep," Mark met his friends gaze, "you're going to be a dad…when?"

"Yeah…" Derek nodded. "In about seven months…"

"Seven months…so you're more than just a little pregnant," Mark said and smiled. "Shep," he chuckled, "you're in for one hell of a roller coaster ride," and put his arm around Meredith and hugged her, "no offense…but…you've been all over the place today."

"I know," Meredith said, "believe me. I almost felt bad for you."

"I can handle it," Mark told him. "I'm going to be an uncle."

"Well," Meredith said, "I don't think so…"

"What," Mark looked at her, his face a look of total disappointment, "Shep and I…we're like…we're like brothers, he forgave me…he told me that."

"I think," Derek told him, "she means…that you have another role," and felt her hand in his, as she squeezed it gently. "That you're going to be a godfather."

Mark gasped, and shook his head, and showed how deeply affected he was by Derek's words, "a godfather…Shep…Meredith…really?"

"That's what his father wants," Meredith told him.

"You're having a boy," Mark laughed and patted Derek on the shoulder, "a boy…Shep we can take him to games and…" he saw Meredith giggled and rest her head against Derek chest, "no wait…it's too damn early…you can't know that…"

"We don't," Meredith laughed, "but I think we've decided we don't want the baby to feel bad…so I think it's a he…and Derek things it's a girl," she said, "and don't say damn."

"You just did," Mark told her.

"She can't hear yet…we don't think," she smiled. "But we have to start now…so when she's here…we don't mess up," she said.

"Grey," Mark laughed, "you do remember who your friends are?"

"Yes," Meredith laughed with him, "but at least…I have to try…"

"We do," Mark told her, "for my godchild," he said, "we will definitely try."

The three friends spent the next half hour talking about the wedding in regard to Derek's original plans, and how Derek had found out about Meredith's pregnancy while Mark and Owen kept guard in the lounge and that conversation was the beginning of a night filled with laughter amongst friends and family, including the inevitable hormonal outbursts from not one, but two pregnant women, especially when Meredith insisted Mark tell her what he meant when he spoke of rose petals scattered on her bed and subsequently their elevator engagement.

Cristina and Owen arrived, joining the rest of their friends and family, and reported that the rumors had indeed spread in a matter of hours, and how Mark's comment about charging by the hour had taken a life of its own and some were talking about the apparent rendezvous set up between Meredith and Mark; expectedly infuriating Derek and unbelievably amusing Meredith. However, she empathically instructed Mark to get it cleared up immediately. Likewise, the Shepherd women agreed, including Meredith; even though everyone was aware she'd remain Grey; that under no circumstances were bets to be encouraged in regard to the baby's sex.

"Mer," Cristina said, "I think that's going to be impossible."

"What are you talking about?" Meredith said.

"I think, we've agreed none of us are going to start betting on you being pregnant," she said, earning a glare from Meredith. "What…I'm not talking, it's our secret…and Bailey, she really does know everything."

"What's your point Cristina?" Meredith asked her as she turned to Derek and they shared an intimate moment while he gently rubbed her still very flat pregnant belly and kissed her.

"That," Cristina said, "is the point…" and everyone in the room laughed. "With Derek acting like that, which you know he will…there's no way people are going to even waste time on betting if you are pregnant, they're going to know for sure…and not betting on the sex…impossible…hell," she looked at Meredith and smirked, "sorry…" and everyone in the room roared with laughter again, as there had been an extended conversation that resulted in much teasing and laughter about what Meredith thought was appropriate to be discussed in front of their babies. She'd surprised her friends, maybe shocked was more appropriate, as Derek has pointed out, by talking of babies…their kids, not just the baby she now nurtured.

"Good catch Yang," Mark laughed, "between her glares and Lexie's… we should both be ready to have mastered G rated language when my godson is born."

"I think it's a girl," Lexie said, and everyone chimed in with their guesses, and suddenly, as she sat feeling safe and loved and protected in Derek's arms, Meredith smiled, and brought her hand to her abdomen.

"What are you thinking about?" Derek whispered in her ear.

"Our baby…" she placed his hand on top of hers, "and…the day we meet her…or him," she kissed him softly, "that I can't wait…for that moment, when we find out…"

"There's more to that smile," he told her.

"There is," she said.

"Tell me…"

"I know," she looked at him, and tears shone on her eyes, "I have a feeling, I know what we're having."

"You do?"

"I do…" she smiled, "at least…I think…I do…"

"Are you going to share it with me?"

"I am," she said, "no secrets…" she turned to him and began to whisper, "it's a…"

"No," he stopped her, "don't tell me…"

"What?"

"I want to be surprised…I do…completely…"

Meredith smiled, "we can do that," she said, "it's not like I can be absolutely sure," she told him and closed her eyes, imagining the moment she would hold their baby, her smile widened, as the thought of the look he would give her when she placed Baby Shepherd in Derek's arms.

"Baby Shepherd," Derek whispered, "that's what you're thinking about…"

"It is," she said. Her face revealed true contentment.

Derek smiled as he locked gazes with Meredith, and thought that it was true, what they said about pregnant women, because his wife truly glowed; and at that moment they were immersed in memories of the night before, when they lay in bed, examining every precious detail of the image on the sonogram and decided Baby Shepherd is how they'd talk about their baby for now.

"Meredith," Carolyn said as she walked in the living room, after she'd gone to the kitchen to check on their meal. "Dinner is ready, anytime you are."

"Mrs. Shepherd," Cristina said when they returned to the living room soon after they'd finished dinner, "that was the best home cooked meal I've had in I don't know how long."

"Probably," Alex smirked, "since Burke."

"Stuff it, evil spawn," Cristina retorted.

"Yang," Mark looked at her and nodded his head, "bet you Grey won't let you get away with that, think of another name for him, even if I agree…he's an ass."

"Mark," Kathleen, who was sitting next to him, smacked the back of his head playfully, "you're not doing much better."

"I'm glad," Mark said, "you're going back…and don't live here, I'd probably develop some brain damage from all the smacking that goes on around you Shepherd women."

"Mark," Jenna teased him, "I don't think you have to worry about that…we know that's already happened."

"I agree with Jenna," Meredith joked, "his brain was already damaged…when he slept with Addison," and then she smiled at him, "thank you for that, by the way."

"You're welcome," Mark said, "that's what I tried to tell Derek."

"Meredith…"

"It's ok Derek," Meredith smiled at him, "it's not like she didn't exist…and hey…in some ways…many ways really…if she and Mark…if they hadn't…well you know."

"Had sex," Carolyn added, "and betrayed Derek."

"Ouch," Cristina said.

"It's ok Cristina," Carolyn said, "I told him, he's going to pay for that till I decide I've forgiven him for hurting Derek as he did, even if I think it was fate…that led my son here," she smiled at Meredith, "that he was meant to be here, and that I'm happy he's here, with Meredith."

"Basically," Cristina said, "you're saying it was ok…"

"No," Carolyn said. "But, I can't change that it happened. But, I can recognize and happily accept that it was meant for Meredith and Derek to find each other."

"Thank you Carolyn," Meredith said, "that's what I meant to stay…you know…if they hadn't slept together…Derek would never have come to Seattle…well, maybe he would have, but he'd really have been married…" she rambled, "not like…showing up at Joe's kind of meeting…and then it wasn't till Addison showed up all drop dead gorgeous…and all black," she tried to suppress a giggle, "like the wicked witch…ok…let me be quiet now…"

"Meredith," Kathleen laughed, "I cannot wait for you to meet my husband and Aunt Pat, they've both thought that for years."

"That Mark was brain damaged," Meredith snuggled into Derek, without disturbing his incision.

"No sweetheart," Carolyn said, "that she was clearly not the woman for him."

"I don't think I've heard about an Aunt Pat," Meredith said.

"For good reason," Kathleen laughed. "She's a trouble maker."

"Kathleen," Carolyn said, "you're not painting her in very good light."

"With good reason," Jenna laughed. "Mer, wait till you meet her."

"Admit it Ma," Kathleen said, "even you agree she's a trouble maker."

"She's still your aunt," Carolyn said, and tried to hide her smile.

"Meredith," Mark said, "that woman is the most…"

"Mark Sloan," Carolyn raised an eyebrow at her, "that is my sister," she said and both Kathleen and Jenna laughed, "you are talking about."

"Sister trouble," Mark said, "if you ask me."

"Let's wait for Meredith to meet her," Kathleen said, "let her form her own opinion."

"She hated Addison," Mark said.

"Mom didn't much care for her either," Jenna laughed, "Ma, remember that Thanksgiving when…" she continued telling a story that had all of them laughing and once more reassuring Meredith of their genuine acceptance.

"I think I'm going to like her," Meredith said, "I mean…even though Addison turned out to be nice…and she even encouraged me…when I'd given up after Derek started dating Rose…" she said and stopped talking realizing what she had blurted out.

"Meredith dear," Carolyn said, "what are you talking about? You'd given up… and who is Rose?"

Derek groaned; Mark mumbled; Lexie gasped; Alex snickered and Cristina smiled.

Meredith sniffled and turned to Derek, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"Derek Christopher," Carolyn said, "what have you done now?"

"Nothing," Meredith said, "really…it's nothing."

"Meredith," Jenna said, "you are not a good liar."

"Meredith," Kathleen said as soon as she realized her sister in law and brother were truly upset by her comment, "don't listen to Jenna…she's just a gossip," and glared at her sister, "just as bad as Mark."

"A gossip," Jenna said outraged, "me…who's the one that said Meredith was married when she became involved with Derek…"

"Oh shit," Mark said.

"That's right," Meredith said, "Kathleen, where in the world did you get that I was married…I mean when Nancy was here she told Derek…you all thought I was a slutty intern…and well…maybe slutty…but definitely not married…that was his problem."

There was absolute silence in the room. Derek shifted uncomfortably next to her, and the Baby Shepherd induced hormonal and even irrational roller coaster was about to manifest itself again.

"Oh come on," Meredith said, "lighten up…all of you…it's actually funny…but it's only fair Kathleen, that you tell us why you thought I was married."

Derek and Cristina exchanged glances; for once husband and friend on the same page, they were absolutely clueless about Meredith's reactions tonight, albeit both were ready to bet money hormones were guiding the unexpected candor about the past.

"I will," Kathleen told her, "but…you have to tell us about your engagement, because we heard several different versions while seating around the hospital."

"Fine," Meredith agreed. "But you start…since that happened way before his proposal."

"It was impossible," Kathleen said, "to get him to return a call, and then it occurred to me…" and continued telling the theories that led to the wrong assumptions, which led to good natured teasing and laughter as one story led to another.

Derek felt a well earned smack on the back of the head after Alex spilled the beans about Rose, and Carolyn Shepherd felt more than justified.

Subsequently, Meredith earned a knowing smile from Jenna, as the feigned pout and sniffles got Mark to tell the story about Derek's attempt at a romantic proposal, that in spite of Meredith agreeing it would have been way over the top, she could not help but smile at him, and he wiped away a few sentimental tears from her eyes.

"Meredith," Jenna said as she yawned, "come on…tell us the story about your proposal, was it the staircase or the elevator…not sure which we heard…and I want to know before I fall asleep…which you should certainly understand…how I'm feeling right now…"

"I can tell you the story tomorrow," Meredith joked, "I don't want you falling asleep."

"Start talking," Jenna told her, "but wait till I get back," she said and got up to go to the bathroom, and when she returned sat down next to Meredith on the couch and leaned over to whisper. "You know damn well I'm not going to fall asleep, but I was trying to move the conversation away from Addie showing up, never liked that bitch and that parasite of her brother; so…just like you conned Mark with that fake pout and sniffles," and both women's conspiratorial laughter was heard, if not quite understood by all.

"We'd had a …well," Meredith said as she reached for his hand, "maybe…a lover's tiff…is an appropriate term," she said, and her expression dared any of her friends to contradict her tale as she totally skipped over the heartbreaking moments that had led to one of Derek's most shameful actions; a drunken hermit's batting practice and the moment the word lemon was uttered before tossing the bat near her direction.

"Dude…these two have been through more sex phases than …"

"Alex," Meredith warned.

"What…" he had the usual disgruntled expression, "we haven't been spared...break up…make up…loud…break up again…mockery sex…post it not real married sex…not to mention avoidance sex…"

"Didn't work," Cristina muttered.

"Be nice," Owen said, as he said something in her ear and she smiled.

"Hunt is right," Cristina said, "that avoidance sex phase…has a name…or will as soon as March rolls around," and everyone laughed.

"Are you implying," Alex said, "Mer's going to be rolling around by March."

"Listen evil…" Cristina paused, "if you think you're going to get me …"

"Cristina," Meredith said, "I know that's not what you meant…"

"I don't know," Alex said, "you know what she thinks of …"

"Alex," Meredith turned the tables on him. "Are you…saying that you think I'm going to be so fat I'll look like …"

Jenna held back a chuckle, as she met Meredith's gaze, and again Jenna shared her thoughts with her sister in law, but this time, didn't care that Derek heard them. "Mer, my poor brother is not going to know when you're coming or going…when it's real hormones…or just…"

"I'm not going to care," he said to them both as he smiled at his sister. "Just like Rob doesn't."

"Carolyn," Meredith said, "I think, it's not a bad idea to sweeten Alex's disposition a bit…maybe…with some dessert."

"We've had dessert," Alex said.

"Go get some more," Meredith told him, "and bring me a piece of cheesecake…the one with chocolate."

"Thank you," Derek whispered in her ear.

"For what," she turned to him.

"Forgiving me," he said, "for not telling you enough how much I recognize your compassion and your understanding…the way you told our story, the way you've made light of so many times I hurt you, especially…that…that night at the trailer.."

Forgetting and uncaring of their audience she cupped his face and kissed him softly, "we're together…no more break ups…we're married…getting married…again…and we're having a baby…"

"I love you," he said tenderly, "and I'm sorry…for all those times…"

"I love you Derek," she pressed her lips against his, "we got a second chance. We both have, you're here, alive and well. I don't care about the past…not when it got us here…somehow…all those steps in the wrong direction…got us to now…"

"Mer," Jenna said, she'd attempted to continue another conversation, allowing them privacy. "Now really…tell us about the proposal."

"I think Derek should…" Meredith turned to him, "it was all his doing…I only had to say yes…not really yes…but…"

"I'd been an ass," Derek started.

"Derek…" Meredith exclaimed, "you can't…"

"Baby Shepherd can't hear yet," he kissed her. "I'd behaved horribly to her…and she wasn't budging, at least, not when I showed up that morning…after having spent a few days hiding in the woods, away from the only woman I've ever really loved…and then I showed up here and unceremoniously took out Mom's ring…expecting she'd forget everything that had happened, as she usually does…and she said no…"

"I did not," Meredith told him, "I said…not like this…and you need to tell the story right," she said, and went on to paint a picture that spoke of the man she loved, and had agreed, because she asked him, to perform Izzie's surgery; again skipping over the sadness of the tragic loss of a pregnant patient that led to his meltdown. "Then, at the end of the day…when I was ready to go home, I was standing at the elevator…and…actually the chief of surgery, he knew what Derek had planned…and…"

"I was a nervous wreck," Derek said as he held her close to him, and before continuing kissed her temple, and their hands intertwined, "nothing had ever been as important as that moment, as what her answer would be…and I stood there and saw her expression as the elevator doors opened," he said, and the rest of the story was told from both their points of views, and as the story ended, Carolyn, Jenna and Kathleen knew that Meredith and Derek were meant to be together for that lifetime they promised the other.

"And he said…I want to spend the rest of my life with you," Meredith recounted, and allowed herself to be as emotional as she'd had that day, "I knew there was nothing…I had never wanted anything more…than to spend the rest of my life with him."

The night had been one of celebrations; one that included a newly signed marriage license application, which they all knew did not really matter; Meredith and Derek had been married months before and nothing would ever change that, and finally most poignant and amazing of all, the celebration of a truly loved and cherished baby; conceived unexpectedly, but undoubtedly as a result of insatiable passion and the love between two lonely people once hiding from their pain, that on a fateful night found their soul mates, the love of each other's life; a love fittingly referred to as the legend of Meredith and Derek.

_A/N 29 JAN – Thanks for still reading, and to those of you that commented on the last chapters, I'm so incredibly grateful. The rest of the story is just about finished and much longer than this one. I wanted to make this update about their families, their friend and in some small way how they were affected by the news of marriage and pregnancy. Then, before going on to the next phase in their lives, needed a bridge of sorts and added some dialogue that I'm not 100 percent happy with, but wanted to establish that the relationship between Meredith and his family continues to build and she is not as adverse to family, while I'll attribute any and all out of character behavior to Baby Shepherd._


	17. Chapter 17

_Thanks to all of you still reading and to the eight of you that commented, heartfelt appreciation. I began to edit this chapter, and of course…somehow…there were an additional 1600 words that I had not anticipated, but hope it makes for a better story. There are two more chapters left, hope you enjoy this one. Any and all out of character behavior…by anyone…blame Baby Shepherd. Ok…so since I wrote that last night, a couple of scenes would not leave my mind, so I wrote it for me, the very sentimental and emotional family side of me. Warm regards, Jasmin._

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 17**

Meredith's morning sickness was far from gone, in fact, just the day before she'd told Carolyn how grateful she was for the ginger tea as it truly seemed to make a difference. But, on the morning of their third month anniversary, Baby Shepherd made its presence felt again, with a vengeance; starting early in the morning hours and worrying Derek to the point of suggesting they postpone the ceremony, and that mistake took them on an emotional rollercoaster ride that he hoped was not indicative of the rest of her pregnancy.

Thankfully, Meredith's morning sickness followed some predictable patterns, and by mid morning she was fine, and the earlier teary eyed outbursts forgotten as she drove Derek to his appointment at the hospital.

"Everything looks good," Dr. Sullivan told them, "healing nicely," he joked, "you must have some great medical help at home…none of those flirty nurses."

"Dr. Sullivan," Meredith glared at him, "I don't know how that's pertinent…"

Derek shook his head at him, as if telling him, let it go. But Sullivan liked these two, and enjoyed teasing her. "Meredith," he said and looked at Derek, "I forgot…about the jealous streak…"

"That has nothing to do…" she told him.

"I know," Sullivan smiled at her, "more likely it's over the congratulations that are in order."

"Don't change the subject," Meredith smiled at him as she instinctively brought her hand to her abdomen.

"I'm not," he told her, "they're most sincere, and I'm very glad everything's ok with you and the baby. Derek told me he'd been worried about you, but that you're feeling much better."

"Not this morning," she laughed. "If you'd asked him four hours ago, he probably was ready to divorce me," she joked, "of course…we aren't really married…so…he can't very well do that."

"Meredith," Derek said, shocked that she'd say that, "you don't mean that."

"I do," she said, and got up from the chair she'd been sitting at while he was examined, and kissed him, "but not for long…you'll be stuck with me forever…for real."

"I take it," Sullivan chuckled, "some rumors about an impeding marriage are true…something about post it notes not sticking and you wanting his inheritance."

Meredith laughed, "I told you about that in confidence…you know patient doctor…"

"But you're not my patient," Sullivan told her.

"But he is, and..." Meredith glanced at Derek who was frowning, "we share everything…joint marital assets or something."

"You told Sullivan about the bets," Derek asked, "and our wedding."

"I did," Meredith said, "yesterday, when he was arguing with a nurse to get back to work and stop spreading gossip and that he knew for a fact we were very much married," she said, "so I thought he should know…how much it meant to me."

"Anytime Meredith," Sullivan said, "it's very clear how much you two love each other. It reminds me of my wife and me…she used to work here when we were first married, and all the gossip drove her crazy," he said and they discussed Derek's continued recovery and set his next appointment.

"Now," Derek said as they walked, hand in hand, slowly down the corridor making allowances for his very recent hospital release, "the best part of the day."

"You mean that," she squeezed his hand gently.

"I do," he said, squeezing back. "Ready?"

"Ready…" she said, and they walked toward Dr. Cameron's private office, both a little nervous about the visit, but neither cared about what people may say if they saw them walk in or out of an obstetrician's office; she was pregnant and hopefully he would confirm that there was nothing wrong. The rest, they didn't really care about.

"Dr. Shepherd," Cameron spoke, "I'm very pleased to see you…glad you're recuperating so quickly."

"Thank you," Derek said, "for seeing us today as well…it was important to us."

"I understand completely," Cameron said. "When Meredith called and I spoke with your sister I suggested we schedule this sooner rather than later, to give you both some peace of mind. I'm glad we could do it today before your second wedding ceremony."

"It seems," Derek chuckled, "it's the best non-secret in this hospital. But, thanks for scheduling us before your regular office hours."

"Oh, but you're wrong," Cameron told him, "the endless rumor mill has the two of you getting a divorce, or rather breaking up, that's the countdown. I'm privileged to know the truth, and happy to come in a few hours early to see you," he said and led the way to an examining room.

"Will you do the same sonogram?" Meredith asked before walking in to change, "do I remove all my clothes?"

"No," he said, "we did a trans vaginal before since you indicated you were about four to five weeks along, and the cramping required we do that, to get an accurate picture of what was going on. But since we know you're eight weeks, we won't need to," he said, and then, he and Derek waited before she opened the door wearing a gown and Derek went to stand next to her as she first sat on the examining table.

"I'm nervous," Meredith said, "really…nervous…"

"Meredith," Cameron said, "is it ok if we're on first name basis?"

"Yes."

"All your tests," he had her file in his hand, "every single one of them has come back to indicate you are healthy. We did a very thorough first exam and other than the symptoms you had when you came to see me, everything else looks good…and I see no reason for this not to be a very healthy pregnancy. I told you that when we spoke with your sister in law, but I wanted to make sure to tell you this…during this visit with Dr. Shepherd."

"Please," Derek said, "call me Derek."

"Derek," Cameron said, "Meredith," and began to speak with them, discussing her first visit, including asking her numerous questions about how she'd been feeling since he'd last seen her; giving her several recommendations to ease the morning sickness, agreeing that ginger tea would help and several other instruction to ensure a healthy pregnancy and discussing the prenatal vitamins he wanted to make sure she was taking, which she was.

Derek asked some questions about her fainting spell and was assured all was well with her EKG, heart echo and multitude of tests Miranda had insisted on, as he had, and that the incident was strictly related to the pregnancy, which he reassured them repeatedly was progressing as it should; her hCG levels were excellent based on the blood work he'd requested the day before so he could compare them to her first visit, the progesterone levels were increasing exactly as they should, and they discussed all their concerns, as he told them the next appointment would be at twelve weeks, but she could call him anytime.

"Are you two ready to see your baby? Not just a sonogram picture?"

"Yes," they both said, and Derek helped Meredith lie back on the table, and held her hand as the doctor placed the warm gel on her abdomen and reached for the transducer.

"There won't be too much of a change from last week," he told them, "but it will be very different," he smiled, "seeing your baby…for the first time, not just a copy of the sonogram."

Meredith and Derek's eyes were glued to the screen, and as soon as the image appeared she felt the gentle squeeze of her hand, his other hand gently stroking her forehead, and then the mutual awe inspired intake of breath.

"Derek," she whispered, and tighten the hold on his hand, "Derek…our…our baby," she said, as the tears slid down her cheek, and he bent down carefully to kiss her forehead, and she felt his tears on her skin, neither able to take their gaze away from the screen.

Derek swallowed before he spoke, "it's been a while," he said, "since I've looked at many of these…but …this…it all looks…normal…"

"It's very normal," Dr. Cameron said, "and your baby…is developing just as it should, in fact…the embryo you saw last week," he smiled, "the embryo that you see on the sonogram images I gave you…is now officially a fetus," he told them, allowing them to grasp all the information he was giving them, and in fact was delighted that it all was good news, without any indication of complications.

"The baby…" Meredith said, eyes glued to the screen, "the cramping…it stopped…and you don't see…there's," she said as she fought the tears brought on by fear and wonderment.

"There are no guarantees, ever…but, from my years of practice, there is no reason for me to believe there will be any complications, nor do I have concerns of the viability of this pregnancy," Cameron assured them, and continued to point out some of the obvious, as he knew from his own experience, most medical knowledge went out the window when it came to parents' first view of their baby on that monitor. "There's the nose, the external ear," he said.

"Dr. Cameron," Meredith interrupted, "when…can the baby hear us?"

"Probably around sixteen weeks, but…some parents swear it's much earlier than that," then continued, "and here as I'm sure you know," he pointed out, "are the toes…the hands…still looking like webbed fingers, and you can expect the baby will begin to move spontaneously by next week."

Then, he moved the transducer and again both parents reacted with deep felt emotion. "Oh…God…" Meredith said, "Derek…look…it's…the baby's heart," she said as they indeed could see the healthy beating of a very tiny heart, "it is…right Dr. Cameron…it's the heart."

"Yes, it is," Derek answered for him, equally affected by the image, "our baby's heart beating."

"Let's hear what this little one sounds like," Cameron said, and turned up the volume and the miraculous sound of a healthy baby heart beating began to echo through the room, making both parents give in to overwhelming emotions of hearing their first baby's heartbeat for the very first time.

"Meredith," Derek whispered in her ear, kissing her gently, one hand tenderly on her forehead, and they glanced away from the screen for a second and both were unable to hold back their tears as they saw reflected in each other's gaze the exact expression of discovering a priceless treasure. "Thank you…" he whispered reverently.

"I love you," she said, as his lips meet hers tenderly, before they both turned to the screen and listened to the rapid beating of their baby's heart; utterly mesmerized by sound and image.

"Dr. Cameron," Derek asked, "you haven't said anything…I mean…everything's ok…"

"Everything's just perfect Derek," he said. "I did not want to interrupt, it's an amazing experience. The heartbeat is very strong at 145, next week it will reach up to 170."

"Is it harmful," Derek asked, already anticipating the next appointment, the next time they would see their baby, "to do these…Meredith just had one and…"

"There's no evidence of it," Cameron told them, "and we'll likely schedule a couple other sonograms, at 20 weeks for sure and then closer to the due date."

"Ok," he let out the breath he was holding. "That's good."

"What do you say," Cameron told them, "if I leave the two of you here…and you take care of turning the equipment off," he smiled at them.

"Really," Meredith asked, without glancing away.

"Really," he said, and stood up, "take as much time as you want, and then, when you go home," he chuckled, "you can replay this as often as you like, we'll email the link too, so you preserve the quality and look at the photos as much as you want," he said handing them several images he'd printed in duplicate and the video that captured the first breath taking moment of seeing their baby.

"Isn't it amazing," Meredith said as she wiped away the tears with the back of one hand, without letting go of his, as he gently moved the transducer low on her abdomen, and then he stopped.

"Derek…"

"We…" his lips were pursed, and his eyes filled with tears, "we…this almost…didn't …"

"Hey," she said reaching for both his hands, "let me have something to wipe the gel off."

"You, no," he said as he took a deep breath, "just lie back."

"Derek," she said, and pulled on his hands to bring him closer to her. "We have this…you're ok…nothing happened, well," she began to ramble, "nothing really bad happened…you're ok…the accident…and we're ok…and we're having a baby…even," she smiled at him, joking with him, "even…when the baby's daddy asked how," and she heard the muffle half sob and his chuckle.

"The baby's dad," he smiled at her, brought his lips down to hers, "can be pretty brainless…"

"The baby's daddy is the love of my life," she told him, "one of them…"

"One of them," his eyes twinkled, "less than three months of marriage and…"

"Would you have it any other way?" she asked as their eyes met.

"No," he said, and kissed her tenderly, "I can't imagine it any other way and it only makes me love you more."

"I love you Derek and our baby."

"I love you too…both of you," he said, and he picked up the transducer again, "let's take another look," and the image of the baby on the screen didn't fail to bring tears to their eyes again. "Hey, little one," he spoke softly, his head close to her abdomen, "you're one very lucky baby…you have the most beautiful mommy in the world…and she loves you so much…did you hear her? You're already one of the loves of her life…even before she saw you…she loved you so much…just like your daddy does," he said and after they'd examined and become sentimental and emotional over every detail of the baby on the screen time and again, Derek turned off the ultrasound machine and wiped the gel of Meredith's abdomen, but before she got up, he placed his lips gently where the baby was, "we love you baby…and can't wait till we get to see you again."

"Derek," she smiled through sentimental tears as she ran her fingers through his hair, while he spoke to the baby, "you're the only love of my life. The only man I've ever loved…the baby…will be ours to love together, but you and me…what we have…"

"What we have," he said as his lips brushed hers, and helped her sit up and wrapped his arms around her and they shared a tender poignant kiss, "thanks to you, is extraordinary."

Derek's sisters picked him up at the hospital after he had lunch with Meredith and took him straight home and forced him to rest for the next several hours. Her shift had been rescheduled from noon to four on this special day, which to their delight and amusement had remained a closely guarded secret.

The ceremony took place at seven in the evening, at the exact spot where three months and one week before, after a night of exquisite lovemaking, he'd told her they would be married with a drink in hand in the Bahamas. The only similarity to the extravagant wedding Izzie had planned, were the flowers; Meredith had loved the flowers, and on a much smaller scale, after a phone call and one visit from Lexie and Kathleen as instructed by Derek to the florist, several arrangements graced the living room area as Meredith held a small bouquet of flowers, exactly as what she'd have held the day of that wedding.

Now, three months after their post it wedding, surrounded by friends and family they exchanged the required legal vows of the State of Washington, and to the snickers of some and the amusement of others, and the sentimental tears of several; after the notary public had concluded, his mother handed him the framed post it note, which he placed in Meredith's hand and repeated the vows they had made three months before, and then with the expected emotional and sentimental glimmer of tears, each reverently placed the wedding bands on their fingers.

Carolyn had insisted on cooking; Meredith had insisted on catering, she did not want her mother in law working; his sisters took over the responsibility, the result an impressive culinary feast. Except, Meredith conceded and hugged Carolyn when his mother suggested, or rather insisted, she bake a wedding cake, and Meredith's expression confirmed what Carolyn already knew, that the wedding cake would be chocolate.

The best man and soon to be godfather took his role seriously, and in four days time, with the help of Derek's sisters Jenna and Kathleen, Lexie and Cristina who said she was simply looking out for her person and making sure the three ring circus Izzie planned was avoided; Meredith and Derek repeated their vows and spent a night celebrating with their eleven closest and most loved friends and family, including Owen Hunt and Miranda Bailey, the only other guests besides his family and hers, witnessing the ceremony.

Mark, true to the role he took on and grateful for the regained trust from his childhood friend, insisted on paying for this wedding festivity. Derek's sisters however, insisted they wanted to do this, it was their way to welcome Meredith to the family, to put the past truly behind them, and so they compromised and shared the cost, that thanks to Mark, included several magnums of an exquisite champagne, two of which were saved for very special occasions when Meredith would be able to drink; the birth of their child in seven months, and their first wedding anniversary, another nine months away. Derek insisted on paying for the flowers, that was his gift to Meredith, the one thing from their _churchy_ wedding she'd loved.

Champagne and other spirits flowed during the intimate and familial celebration, and inevitably both bride and groom became sentimental as they cut the cake, which he fed Meredith to her delighted moan, and that and many other moments were captured on film by Kathleen and on the phone's video by the least likely sentimental person; Cristina.

Fortunately, Carolyn Shepherd would comment during one of the rowdier moments that evening, there were only eleven, each making various toasts and sharing anecdotes, or the evening would have gone on into the early morning hours of the day. However, Baby Shepherd was not shy about making his presence felt, and by ten Meredith was showing signs of exhaustion, and Derek told them to stay and enjoy the rest of the evening, but they were calling it a night, claiming that his surgery had taken its toll.

"Dude," Alex said, "it's not as though there's a honeymoon night," and felt the immediate response of Miranda Bailey's smack in the back of his head.

"Karev," Miranda said, "you can't be that stupid?"

"It's true," he said. "He's out of commission for a good three weeks more."

"Not to mention," Meredith giggled. "I'd probably fall asleep on him anyway."

"That's a new one," Alex laughed, "Mer, come on…" he smirked, "you don't have to pretend because his family is here. You guys…go all night…like bunnies."

"Grey," Miranda turned to her, "he don't know?"

Meredith smiled and shook her head, "I think he's the only one."

"Can I please?" Miranda said, and Derek put his arm around Meredith.

"Go ahead," Meredith told her, amused by her other mother hen's wickedly delighted grin.

"Karev," Miranda said, and again, swatted him the back of his head.

"Hey, that hurt."

"She's pregnant…" she smirked, "you moron…and you can't say anything…to anyone."

"She's what?" he rubbed the back of his head. "Mer…you're knocked up?"

Meredith glared at him, and walked over to him and the snickers were heard before she reached him in anticipation of her reaction, as she too smacked the back of his head, "you cannot ever talk like that…in front of the baby," and the room erupted in laughter as they had all been privy to the various similar reactions over the last several days.

"Happy Anniversary Derek," she said, long after they'd gone to bed. Somehow, Meredith, had not fallen asleep on him.

"Happy Anniversary Meredith," he said, as their eyes met, "are you happy?"

"How can you doubt it," she answered, "today was the most wonderful day."

"It was," he agreed and smiled, "Meredith," he said as they faced each other, both on their sides, "today…seeing…hearing the baby…was amazing…"

"I told you," she said, their lips barely apart, "when I heard his heartbeat…the first time…oh…how I wish you'd been with me…but today…seeing him…and the heart beating…and then listening to it," she said, and she became sentimental and to avoid crying leaned into him, pressing her lips to his, remaining quiet as his hands caressed her tenderly.

"I love you," he said, and gently pushed her back into the pillows and brought his hand to her abdomen, "both."

She smiled, the half smiled he adored, because usually it conveyed depth of emotions she couldn't properly express, "we love you too."

"I can't wait," he told her, his eyes sparkling with excitement, "till the next time we see her," and it was settled, without any words spoken, that he'd refer to their baby as she, while she talked of him and their friends spoke of Baby Shepherd, and on occasion Mcbaby was heard and spoken about through the halls of Seattle Grace.

"Derek," Meredith laughed softly, as they lay in bed holding hands, "can you believe it…a real wedding night and we're talking and holding hands."

"We always talk…and hold hands," he teased.

"You mean," she raised an eyebrow suggestively, "you prefer this," and began to kiss him; slowly, "to all," tenderly, "your," longingly, "favorite," passionately for a brief moment, "things…"

"You're determined to kill me," he teased her while kissing her, responding to each kiss as she'd intended.

"Do you remember," she laughed, "when you told me…if I were pregnant…you'd know…because you know…every inch of my body…intimately," she teased him.

"You," he said, "are going to …pay…dearly…for that…"

"Promise," she said, and their laughter echoed through the room.

"Promise," he said, and in spite of the limitations imposed by surgery and a baby that insisted his mother sleep, on this night, the newly married couple fell asleep secure and blissfully content in the love each felt for the other, and eagerly anticipated the day they would once again fulfill each other's old and yet to be discovered favorite things.

Derek's sisters, Maggie and Nancy, had returned to Seattle the same morning of the wedding, and all four stayed a couple more days before they flew home together. The relationship between them and their brother was clearly strengthened, while the relationship between them and Meredith, each different but equally important, as the years went by would see true bonds of family continued to be established.

"Mer," Jenna said the morning after their legal wedding, as they sat in the kitchen sipping tea and eating a slice of the bread only the two of them found edible. "I already told you what to do when hormones get really bad, but if you need to call me… or text me…don't worry about the time, it may keep you from killing him sometimes. Especially, and believe me you are going to remember every shitty thing he's ever done, don't give me that look, the baby can't hear yet," she said and Meredith's giggle made Carolyn smile as she put the finishing touches on a cake Meredith had no idea was being prepared for the farewell gathering with her daughters, that included an impromptu bridal/wedding/baby gift surprise.

"Meredith sweetheart," Carolyn said, "at what time will you be home this evening?"

"The way Dr. Bailey's been acting like a secret mother hen, unlike you," she teased, "she'll boot me out of there at five sharp, she hasn't let me increase my hours yet."

"Take advantage Mer," Jenna told her, "I remember residency as pure hell…and being pregnant on top of it is not ideal."

"Jenna," Carolyn said, "stop eating. Those cookies are for your brother."

"Ma," Jenna said, "he's still eating fairly bland meals, and you know he's not a sweets lover"

"She's right," Meredith said as she too grabbed a chocolate chip cookie, "they'll get stale by the time he's on full solid meals."

"He likes those cookies," Carolyn told them both, "and he can eat them now. Eat something healthy instead, both of you."

"Don't listen to her," Jenna said as she munched on a cookie.

"Jenna Patricia," Carolyn warned. "You're not too old to have your ears boxed."

"I'm pregnant," Jenna smiled, "and you've never boxed my ears…"

"Pay attention Meredith," Carolyn said, "maybe you should do the opposite, instead of overlooking my grandchildren's impertinence."

"You want me to box your grandson's ears? I'm shocked," she joked. "Carolyn, what exactly does boxing one's ears mean?"

"This one's very bad influence," Carolyn said, as she turned around to hide her smile; she was delighted at how Meredith and Jenna got along.

"Mom," Jenna laughed, "you know I'm your favorite."

"Yes dear," Carolyn replied, "the baby in the family tends to feel that way."

"Mom," Jenna said as she winked at Meredith, "are you…all these years…you've just been saying…pretending…" she pouted.

"Meredith," Carolyn laughed, "do not let this one teach you any of her pouting tricks, there's no way any husband would be as gullible as Rob."

"He's not gullible," Jenna smiled, "he just loves me…and I make it up to him Ma…"

"Yes dear," Carolyn said as she walked over to her daughter. "I'm sure you do…" Carolyn touched her belly lovingly, "this little one more than proves it."

Jenna's eyes watered as she placed her hand over her Mother's hand, "I miss him Mom, and the girls, he'd be doing this all the time," and her mother gave her a hug and she lay her head on Carolyn's shoulder.

"You'll be home tomorrow night," Carolyn kissed the top of her daughter's head. "Rob will make up this last week with extra pampering, I'm sure."

Meredith watched, and it was hard not to become sentimental as she wondered if her own mother had lived, if Alzheimer's had not robbed her of her brilliant mind, if maybe they'd had a chance; if her mother would have ever cared about a grandchild the way Carolyn Shepherd cared about hers, or if she'd ever have chosen to show the same kind of tender motherly display as Carolyn was right now.

Carolyn Shepherd had not missed the distant look of melancholy in her daughter in law's eyes, and she was not likely to forget it, as they continued to chatter.

"Meredith, back to all the shitty things he's done," Jenna said. "I don't recommend withholding sex, because believe me, there will come a time you are going to want sex, all the time…but, it will come in handy to remind him sometimes and get your way. I'd never have believed my brother could have been such an ass…"

"Ah…" Derek's voice startled them, "my once favorite sister…" he teased.

"You were an ass," Jenna turned to him, "asking a nurse out on date…"

"Jenna," Carolyn warned.

"It's true Mom," Jenna said, "he was…and I only wish I knew that before we met Meredith …"

"You've given my wife tips on how to make me pay for everything I've done…"

"You were eavesdropping," Jenna accused.

"No," he smirked at her, "I was not."

"Then," Jenna looked at the way Meredith relaxed against him as he stood behind the counter stool and put his arms around her, "what would you call it?"

"Strategic planning," he said, "getting ready for the next seven months…"

"Don't push your luck," Meredith teased him, and she placed her hands on top of his and guided his down low to her abdomen, "the baby will know…if you're not being nice to me."

Carolyn laughed, "Derek dear, don't let her talk to Jenna too often," and all four of them joined in laughter.

Later that evening they enjoyed one last meal with his sisters and Mark. Carolyn had suggested they include Lexie and Cristina, accepting them both as Meredith's sisters, but they were working late shifts.

Meredith's head rested against Derek and she closed her eyes ever so briefly before she heard soft murmurs and light laughter. "Mer" Derek whispered, "time to call it a night."

"Uhmm…what?"

"You fell asleep on me," he kissed the top of her head, "literally."

"I did not," she said a bit embarrassed.

"Yeah," he smiled, as he placed his hand on her abdomen, "but, I know she's the one really sleeping…not her mommy."

Meredith smiled at him, "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Sorry," Meredith said to their guests, "I didn't even realize it…"

"Meredith," Nancy spoke first, "we've been there…nineteen times including Mom, there's nothing to apologize for. It's perfectly natural."

"It is big brother," Maggie told him, "so just know not to take it personally when she falls asleep on you…often."

"Just hope she doesn't snore," Mark teased her.

"Mark," Jenna said, "that's not very nice."

"No," Meredith agreed and Derek was surprised at the light sigh and catch in her voice, "it's really not," and then she was quiet.

"Mer," Derek said, treading carefully he thought, "I think he was just kidding."

"You're going to take his side," she stated, and he saw the vulnerable shine in her eyes.

"I'm not," Derek said, not quite sure what has just happened, but he saw Nancy elbow Mark, and say something to him. "I just think…"

"Grey," Mark said, "I'm sorry… I was just joking…I know you don't snore…"

"How," Meredith turned to him, "do you know that?"

"I…well…Shep's told me…" Mark stuttered.

"Derek's told you," Meredith turned to her husband, amused by Mark's repentance after whatever Nancy had said to him.

"Yes," Mark said, "and Lexie…she's told me."

"You are a very bad liar," Meredith glared at him. "Derek, we can't have a godfather that lies, he'll never be able to baby sit...we may have to reconsider."

"What…I'm not …and you can't…I'm the godfather, you said so…" Mark said with deep disappointment. "I didn't mean to upset you. I'll just leave now, before you really change your mind."

"No," Meredith said.

"Oh dear God," Maggie said, "Kathleen…please…don't you dare leave without calling in a prescription for Mom, she's going to need triple doses of tranquilizer around these three."

"That is not nice at all," Mark chimed in, "really Mags," he used the hated nickname, "you've been pregnant…you know how hormonal you all get."

"I do know," Maggie said. "But, what's your excuse? And you," she turned to Derek, "cat got your tongue?"

Everyone was quiet at Maggie's tirade and then the entire room burst out laughing.

"Maggie," Nancy teased her, "you sure you're not pregnant?"

"Nance," Maggie laughed, "it's contagious…the roller coaster and the rambling."

"Are you done making fun of us?" Meredith smiled at her.

"That depends," Maggie smiled back. "We'll see before the evening is out."

"I thought the evening was over," Derek said, as his hand rested on her shoulder, and his fingers familiarly massaged her neck. "Meredith's tired and she was going to turn in a while ago."

"I was not," Meredith told him, "you're the one that said that…in fact, it's really all your fault that Mark got blamed…"

"My fault," he said and chuckled before answering, "uhmmm…yes dear, you're right."

"Yes," she opened her eyes, "dear?"

"Doesn't work," he smiled at her, their smile, "does it?"

"No," she told him. "But, I still love you anyway."

"That's settled," Carolyn smiled as she leaned over to Kathleen, "let's get this going before the next outburst, Jenna's should be flaring up next."

"Carolyn," Meredith said teasingly, "that's really…not nice…at all…"

"I know dear," her mother in law smiled, "but I think I can make it up to her and you…with my baking."

"Yes," both Meredith and Jenna responded simultaneously.

"All right then," Kathleen said. "We need to get started."

"Started on what?" Meredith asked.

"We…well, we weren't quite sure. But, finally decided it would be ok…and hoped that you wouldn't mind or be upset…" Nancy rambled like the finest of them.

"Oh, my God," Jenna burst out laughing, "Nance…you just rambled…serious…annoying rambling."

"Hey," Nancy told her, "you heard Maggie, it's contagious."

"What my previously eloquent sister is trying to say," Kathleen laughed, "is that we have some gifts for you."

"We didn't want to do anything you wouldn't approve of…but…after Nancy spoke with your doctor," Maggie said, "and then…when you saw him and we got to see the video last night…we got a little carried away."

"Carried way…" Derek said, "what exactly…have you done?"

"Think of it," Nancy said, "as a combination…bridal…wedding shower…"

"And," Jenna smiled, "pre baby shower…"

"Pre-baby shower?" Mark said, "what the hell is that?"

"You should be able to figure that out," Maggie said to him, "don't you think?"

"Pre-baby shower," Meredith repeated, and Derek reached for her hand. "That's why you asked me if I minded, before you flew home, if you got some baby gifts, now that we knew everything was ok with the baby. I don't mind, but you're sure…it's not jinxing things…so soon…I mean…"

"No," she heard the echoes of five voices.

"Absolutely not," Nancy told her. "Meredith…you are healthy and you have a perfectly healthy baby developing…and we'd never, none of us…would do this if there was the slightest chance we thought if wasn't a viable pregnancy."

"I know," Meredith said.

"Meredith," Maggie said, "Nancy was a real bitch, we know that."

"Mary Margaret," Carolyn reprimanded her, "we've put that in the past."

"Yes," Meredith said, "we have."

"Let me finish…" Maggie said, "in spite of being a bitch…and she knows I love her, just the way she is, except those times we al want to kill her. She is an exceptional doctor…and she's looked over those sonograms and read over your file several times, and she has no doubts, none…that all is well with your pregnancy and the baby."

"I believe her," Meredith said, "I trusted what she told me," she said, and with that comment Derek relaxed and allowed himself to enjoy the rest of the evening as bags of presents were brought in by his sisters, followed by their own particular brand of advice on marriage, pregnancy and babies.

Nancy gave her two books on pregnancy; The Pregnancy Bible and The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy, and told her they were her favorites especially for two parents that happened to be doctors.

Maggie, Kathleen, Nancy and Carolyn bought her four exquisite items of La Perla lingerie and told her to enjoy feeling sensual and beautiful throughout her pregnancy, and from all the sisters they gave her and Derek a Babymoon weekend at the nearby Salish Lodge & Spa, just outside Seattle.

Jenna told her to stick with the basics, which meant indulging her cravings, and gave her a gift card with enough money to be used at least twice a week, specifically at Mora's Ice Cream on Bainbridge, because she had googled the best ice cream in the Seattle area and that was it. Derek smiled indulgently, anticipating the many trips he'd be making to Meredith's already favorite ice cream store on the island. Her currently pregnant sister in law, told her she'd preferred to spend money on ice cream than the sexy items the others bought, because, she'd discovered that at some point during pregnancy, ice cream was better than sex.

"Do we really need to have this conversation," Derek asked, "maybe you can talk about it…without us here…" he said referring to Mark.

"Why?" Mark said, "this is interesting…not that I'll ever have to deal with a pregnant woman…but…"

"Really," Meredith said, the big sister role fully in place as she thought of his relationship with Lexie, "you don't think, that at some point in your future, you'll have to deal with a pregnant woman?"

"Yeah," Mark said, "you, and it's the present. But, we're not having sex," he winked at her. "This is good so I can help Derek, take him bowling…or…play darts…through the times…you prefer ice cream."

"Ass," Nancy said, before smacking Mark playfully in the back of the head, and he put his arms around her, just as in the old days; friends that had survived having been lovers.

The last gifts were specifically for the baby, which after Meredith had initially agreed she was reassured about the pregnancy, each of the sisters had bought gifts, practical things they insisted that they would need, and by the end of the evening had Mark and Derek joking they didn't need to buy anything else, even if they had triplets.

Apparently, each sister had purchased their favorite baby items, and in spite of the many children shared between them, the promise of a new baby made them all sentimental about every single item purchased for their brother's first baby, a baby all fours sisters and grandmother couldn't wait to arrive and spoil absolutely rotten.

"This is my very favorite," Kathleen said, "we didn't have it with mine, but I loved it when I found it," she said and Meredith opened the Cocooi baby wrap swaddler, and looked at it without really knowing what to do.

"What…do you do with it?" Derek asked, certain his wife was thinking the same thing.

"It's wonderful," Kathleen said, "it's all natural…actually New Zealand merino wool, it regulates the baby's temperature and allows for easy movement and gives them the comfort they had in the womb," she told them, and went on to explain the importance of using the natural fiber and not cotton or synthetics.

"I thanked God everyday for these," Nancy said, "and recommend them to every new mom," she said of the several one piece baby sleepers. "Meredith, in the middle of the night, when you have to get up and change them, the last thing you want to deal with is snaps and buttons, you just pull up and cover them up again," she showed her. "I got these organic fabrics, but... you'll find yourself being very practical."

"I'm not as picky," Maggie said, "about organic fabrics…though, that's all I bought for Jenna's two little ones, since they are so popular now a days. So I got you a combination of things," she said and Meredith smiled and cooed along with her as they opened the blue, pink, yellow and green outfits, "these are great with the little mitten cuffs to keep them from scratching themselves."

"I got you one of everything you will need the first week at home," Jenna said, "and when I get back home, will send you a list of things…so you don't have to bother with what the lists from baby registries."

"Baby registries," Meredith asked, and her sisters in law proceeded to explain.

Derek felt her tense in his arms, "hey," he whispered to her, "we don't have to learn everything now…we'll take it one week at a time…ok…"

"Ok," she said feeling somewhat overwhelmed, and his sisters noticed.

"Meredith," Maggie said, "I think we overdid it…it can be overwhelming."

"Yeah…" Meredith said.

"We tend to do that," Jenna said.

"We've done this," Nancy told her, "for each other…we don't really need baby showers…we sort of take care of it …amongst us…it's what we've done…for each of our babies."

"I understand," Meredith smiled, "and I do appreciate it…it's just…babies…I…never even thought of having them…and now," her eyes watered, "I can't think…of anything else…"

"Mer," Kathleen said, "just tell us…we tend to tell each other…if we get too pushy…you can tell us, it was just…it's Derek's first baby…and we've wanted that…for a long time…so…with you…the two of you, we did what we've done for each of my sisters."

"She means," Derek said,

"I know… it means a lot to me…that you'd do this, for us too…"

"Honey, it's for you," Carolyn said, "so you don't worry…about what to get, and you just concentrate on what you want for the nursery …and you'll find yourself falling in love with all sorts of baby items you must have, and they'll only wear once or twice…and when that happens, just give in to it Meredith."

"It's hard to believe they need so much…I have no idea," she said becoming a bit overwhelmed.

"We'll be there," Kathleen said, "only a call away, if you need anything…and Derek's had plenty of practice with our kids…all you need to do is take care of yourself…and the baby…and when the baby is born…Derek will help."

"I'll help," Mark chimed in, and they all looked at him in horror.

"You're joking," Derek said.

"You'll what …" Nancy said.

"I've helped," Mark said, "with your kids…this is my godchild."

"Right," Maggie said, "handing me a bottle out of the fridge."

"Or yelling out to Kevin that one of the kids was crying and waking up the others," Kathleen said.

"Mark," Meredith said, touched by his sincerity, "you'd want to help?"

"I'm not totally stupid…about kids…I can…"

"No," Meredith said, recalling the way he'd dealt with the little boy that needed ears, "you're not stupid about kids…I think you'll do great with our kids…"

"You do?" Mark said

"I'm counting on it," she reached for Derek's hand, "we're going to need a baby sitter…one we can trust," she told him and she knew without a shadow of a doubt, that Mark Sloan was going to be the best godfather their baby could have.

Before the evening came to an end, Meredith turned to Derek, "I'll be right back, Baby Shepherd's is making me get lot of exercise going to the bathroom," and he frowned when he saw she went upstairs rather than the bathroom on the first floor.

"Derek," Nancy asked, "do you think it was ok…for us to get the baby gifts?"

"It was very thoughtful," Derek told his sister, "it meant a lot to Mer…and me."

Meredith walked back in the room holding a small gift bag, decorated in pastels colors with a set of baby footprints in light lavender. Derek raised an eyebrow in surprise when she walked over to Jenna.

"I was going to give you this before you left," Meredith told her, "but…it seems appropriate that you get it now…it's not a big deal…I just…I saw it, and wanted to get you something…I mean…you were asking me about getting baby things and you didn't think it was too early…so…"

Jenna pulled on her hand forcing to sit down next to her, and teased her with the same comment Derek had made during the days of their stay about her rambling, "Derek's right…do you even breathe?"

"Just because," Meredith smiled, "you're pregnant doesn't mean you have to be mean."

"Are you going to give me that," Jenna asked pointing to the gift bag.

"Yes," Meredith said, "of course…it's for you…well, not for you…but your baby…"

Jenna smiled as she looked in the bag and took out one of three items, "this is so cute," she said as she took out a white onesie with I love Seattle, with the obvious red heart.

"I got it for six to twelve months since I'm not sure how big your babies are…and probably…won't wear it till summer…"

"The size is perfect," Jenna told her, "my babies have all been over eight pounds."

"That's good then," Meredith let out a deep breath, "the other one…"

"Oh, this is so cute," Jenna said, and held up a t-shirt with the Seattle skyline.

"I thought," Meredith said, "since everyone found out about your baby…when you were here…you know…to give you something from here…but it's all they had at the gift shop, and I didn't have time to go shopping, and I should have…since you did all of this."

Jenna smiled at her and took Meredith's hand, stopping the hand signals, "these are just perfect," and then, she looked in the bag and her eyes filled with tears. "Oh, Mer, this…it's so precious…so absolutely adorable."

"It is," Meredith was equally sentimental as the newly acquainted sister in law's smiled at each other.

"Well," Maggie said, "are you going to show us?"

Derek, had made his way to the couch, and sat beside Meredith, and whispered, "you didn't tell me."

"I…it was today…I went by and wanted to get something...and…I was going to give it to her before she went home, but now…when they did this…"

"It's ok," he smiled and kissed her.

"Stop whispering you two," Kathleen said, "Jenna show us what you're crying over," and they all herd the common coos over the adorable item.

"It' s precious," Nancy said, as they all looked at an adorable plush baby orca wrapped in a blue blanket.

"What's this," Jenna said, referring to the other baby gift bag Meredith had brought with her.

"This one," Meredith smiled and handed it to Derek, "I bought for our baby…"

"You bought a gift for our baby," Derek smiled, and his eyes twinkled.

"Our first gift…for him…"

"Or her," he smiled, and he took out a similarly wrapped plush sea otter.

"I'm not sure…if sea otters are the same as regular otters," Meredith locked gazes with him, "but…they mate for life," and immediately was crushed by his embrace.

"I love you," Derek told her, "and yes…we are together…for life."

The evening came to an end and his sisters would visit again the following day before flying back east. Before they left, each shared a private moment with Meredith and Derek, individually and as a couple, all traces of the initial misunderstandings forgotten as they spoke of the next time they'd see each other and the expectation to stay in very frequent touch.

Meredith's morning sickness did in fact peak over the next week, just as Dr. Cameron had discussed with them, and then it was more sporadic, as Derek continued to recuperate at home and hover over her each morning, and then just hold her at night as she gave in to the lingering exhaustion of the first trimester.

Carolyn stayed with them through the end of the second week after their wedding and anniversary, mothering both her son and daughter in law, and before she went home, gave them a gift they'd treasure forever.

Meredith and Derek were sitting on the couch, the evening before Carolyn was scheduled to go home when his mother walked in with a tray. "I thought, you'd like this, right around this time," she said and handed Meredith a piece of the freshly baked chocolate cake, one her daughter had not been shy about requesting she bake, and Derek a bowl of coffee ice cream.

"We're going to miss you Ma," Derek told her, "you've really spoiled us."

"I wish," Carolyn said, "the circumstances had been different for needing to fly out here, that you had not been hurt, but thank God all has turned out as it has…just perfectly."

"Carolyn," Meredith told her, "it's meant a lot to us, for you to be here…I can't thank you…enough…"

"No thanks are necessary," Carolyn told her, "I was here," she smiled with my children and with very brief hesitation, she placed her hand on Meredith's abdomen, just as she'd done with Jenna weeks before, "and my grandbaby…who's already ten weeks old…and I can't wait to meet and continue spoiling…just like a grandmother should do."

"Oh," Meredith almost whimpered as she held back the tears, and Derek kissed her temple. "You…mean that…about grandmother's…and spoiling…you'll want to do that…"

"I can't wait to do that," she gently rubbed Meredith's still very flat belly, though Derek could definitely tell her breasts were filling out her bras much more than before. "But, right now I have something for you…something I hope you will like," and she got up and returned with a small box.

"Mom," Derek said, "you didn't have to get us anything."

"I didn't," she smiled, a hint of secrecy in her smile, "but, I think my grandbaby may like to have this," and she placed the box on Meredith's lap.

Meredith opened the box and took out an obviously old and worn out teddy bear, and only looked at Derek as her eyes began to fill, "it was Derek's first teddy bear," Carolyn said, and with that, her daughter in law turned to Derek and began to cry.

"Meredith," Carolyn said, "sweetheart…I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't Mom," he said, as he caressed his wife, small tender strokes on her back. "It's …it's just that this means a lot to us," he said, quite sentimental himself.

"You're both upset," Carolyn said, a bit upset herself.

"No," Meredith said, and wiped away a tear, and surprising herself, reached out to embrace his mother. "It's…we…I told Derek…" she began to say, and he finished the story about the bunny and Meredith's way of telling him she was pregnant, and at the end, all three wiped away sentimental tears.

"How did you get this?" Meredith asked, "I mean, when?"

"When the girls went home, I had Nancy bring it back to me, I didn't want to risk shipping it, and then I wanted to have it cleaned, ready for the baby…in case she wants to cuddle it…so I took it to a store here that specializes in doing that," and that made Meredith emotional and sentimental all over again and again hugged her mother in law, and shocked both Carolyn and Derek, while also delighting them at by what she asked.

"Carolyn," Meredith said, "I'm…you know…since I already told you…I wasn't that girl that Moms like…but…I think…I think you like me now…"

"Of course I like you, sweetheart…I've grown to love you…already."

"You can't to that," Meredith said, and Derek just held pulled her back into his embrace. "You can't make me worse of a water faucet than Jenna," she said, as they all laughed.

"We'll keep it between us," Carolyn said, "she likes having that title," and they all laughed again.

"Carolyn," Meredith bit her lip nervously, "I know…that you'll want…need to be there when Jenna has the baby…but, I was thinking…since I'm due earlier…three weeks earlier…maybe…if you'd like…if you don't mind…you could be here…when our baby's born."

Derek took a deep breath, emotions were definitely getting the best of him, he was as bad as Meredith's hormonal roller coaster, and he took her hand in his.

"I cannot," Carolyn said, deeply touched by her request, "imagine…anywhere else I would want to be…the day your baby is born."

"Really," Meredith said, still stunned by her own request and the warmth in her heart over Carolyn's acceptance and mothering.

"Really," Carolyn smiled and hugged them both.

"I...I want her," Meredith paused, "or him…to have this…normal things…like family…and a grandmother…one as special as you."

_JB29MAY10_


	18. Chapter 18

_Meredith Grey Voice Over – Grey's Anatomy_

_You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true. _

* * *

_At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away._

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 18**

Several days after Carolyn returned home, the routine she'd encouraged established; the cleaning service came in three times a week while Derek was home with the plan for twice weekly when he was back at work and as Meredith's pregnancy progressed, Carolyn has suggested they may want to increase the frequency again. Surprisingly, Meredith had not been against the idea as the initial, and thankfully unfounded, scare with the pregnancy had been enough for her to give in to Derek's insistence they make things easier for her, and to eliminate any possible resistance, he lied a bit and threw in the comment about it would help him as he convalesced.

Meredith came home late one evening, after a ten hour shift had exhausted her, and he had dinner ready for her, one of the many frozen meals his mother had cooked in anticipation of her departure. But first, he'd insisted she have a long leisurely bath he'd already prepared for her. Later, after he helped her out of the tub, he teased her that he was enjoying spoiling her and brought a tray for them to eat in bed. Derek was on full daddy mode and enjoyed each moment he could pamper her.

"What's this," Meredith asked, when he came back upstairs after taking the dinner tray to the kitchen, as he placed a gift on her lap.

"A gift for you," he smiled and got comfortable on his side of the bed; since the incision was no longer bothering him he'd taken back the preferred spot.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because," he kissed her, "I was home…and had time…and thought you'd like it."

"You made this," she questioned, as she began to unwrap the present.

"I thought of it," he admitted, and then a bit sheepishly, "sort of…and ordered it."

"Derek," she exclaimed when she saw it as she gingerly removed the item from the box, and when she opened the first page of the book he'd given her, he heard the small broken intakes of breaths, indicative of an imminent emotional outburst, and putting the book down, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck and cried softly.

"You know," he teased her as he whispered endearments as well, "I think you've beat Jenna this week."

"I don't care," she pulled away from him and let him wipe her tears away, "this…" she picked up the book again, "it's …it's beautiful."

"I thought you would like it," he smiled, as she reached for his hand, and after returning to the cover she began to turn the pages.

"You're not playing fair Derek," she smiled through the tears, "not at all," she said as she ran her hand over the cover. Two post it notes were placed overlapping the other. One in pink had two words written on it, _This is_; the other in blue, said _Forever_, both in his handwriting.

Meredith had become sentimental over the post it notes and the message on the cover, but nothing prepared her for the emotions she'd feel over the following page.

Derek had written on the top of the page, _Welcome to our world Baby Shepherd_, followed by the first four views of the sonogram, and a note below it. _These were your first photos when you were almost 8 weeks old, but your Mommy was so surprised you were on your way, but she waited to look at them…till your Daddy could see them, till we could see them together. But, she heard your heartbeat and it was strong, and she told me, this is your Daddy writing right now, it was 125 beats per minute, and it was the most incredible and amazing moment in her life._

The following pages had almost daily comments; _It's true, that mommies have cravings when they're waiting for you little ones to arrive, and your mommy's fist craving was Chinese food, which up until now, she didn't like very much. Grandma took care of your mommy and Aunt Jenna by baking their favorite chocolate cake and bread, which your mommy seems to love now. _

"Derek," she held his hand tighter, "when…how…"

"I was just sitting around," he told her, "waiting for you to come home every day, wanting to be with you…desperately, needing to know you were feeling well, that both of you were ok," he said as his hand tenderly caressed her abdomen.

"Oh…Derek…" she said, as their eyes met, "you're really…being unfair…do you have any idea…what it's like to be on this emotional roller coaster ride…and then, you say things like this…that…just…" and she put his arms around him and hugged him tightly, as the book sat on her lap.

"Do you," he said, his voice filled with emotion, "have any idea…what it feels like…to be able to say these things to you…all these sentimental," he shook his head lightly as he pursed his lips and his eyes became watery, "all these things I feel deep down in my soul…and that you're not running…that you don't want to turn away from me…"

"You," she said, equally emotional, "made me believe in fairy tales…that dreams can come true…how can I run…how can I want to be anywhere else…but in your arms?"

"Meredith," he said softly, "I promise you…I'll make it up to you… for all the times I've hurt you."

"Derek," she cupped his face in her hands, "no more looking back…we promised each other…forever…and that day…" she ran her hand over the embossed post it note, "when I agreed to those vows…all was forgiven."

"I don't deserve you…I know that…I wish…there are so many things…I wish I'd done…differently."

"But I don't," she said, "because…being here, all those things between us…they got us to this moment, and if I had to do it over again…I would…if I knew…I'd have this with you now."

"I love you Meredith," he said and it was his turn to hold her fade in his hands, kissing her tenderly, making sure each touch and caress spoke of how very much she meant to him, "I will love you…forever…"

"I hope," she kissed him back, "that our baby…our children…will have what we found…that they will always know…that having this…the love of your life…your soul mate…is not a dream or a fairy tale...that they won't fight it…as I did…"

"Fate," he whispered upon her lips, "had other ideas…for us."

"You mean," she teased him, "it was fate that we met in a bar…and got drunk…and you took advantage of me…"

"It was fate," his eyes twinkled as he smiled at her; that smile that made her fall in love with him just a bit more, every time he looked at her, "that a girl…and a guy at Joe's knew they were meant to be together…as soon as their eyes met…and the girl in the bar dragged the guy home and took advantage of him…all night long," he said, as her giggles and their laughter filled the air.

"Derek," she smiled, "we better come up with a G- rated story…for our babies…"

"How about…" he said, and began to weave the beginnings of a tale worthy of legends.

"I love you," Meredith said, repeating the words he'd told her long ago, as he first admitted his love for her. "I've been in love with you…forever…"

The phone on the nightstand vibrated, momentarily interrupting the intimacy of the moment, as Derek reached for it and laughed. "It's my sister," he said and showed her the message.

-Ur a sap; Mom told me about the scrapbook

-U are a gossip

-Ur my brother, it's not gossip, means I care

-He's not a sap

-Mer?

-Yes, Jenna

-Well?

-Is it as sentimental as Mom claims? She told me today

-It is; why are you up? Almost 1

-Emergency surgery; Rob's on his way to get me, knew was early for you to be sleeping

-Hovering Rob LOL

-you have no idea

-ur loving it

-I am

-hope mcdreamy is earning that nickname

-lol he is

-I'm reading this you know

-I know – love you big brother- Rob's here

-Love you too Jenna

-Love you both…and tell baby aunt Jenna loves him

-her jenna it's a girl

-whatever you say Derek

-g'night jenna, call you tomorrow

-night Mer

"So," Meredith smiled, "your Mom knows about this? I bet it was her idea."

"You didn't let me finish the story," Derek kissed her.

"Go ahead," she turned on her side and entwined their hands, the book between them.

"I was home," he smiled, "and Ma would watch some shows every afternoon, and there was one…all about cooking and decorations…and…"

Meredith's laughter was always a delight to him, "you…" she teased him, "were watching home shows…or whatever…"

"Hey," he told her, as he leaned in and kissed her, "I'll have you know there are a few recipes I'm going to try out on you…and there were some really great ideas for decoration and home designs."

"Derek," Meredith laughed good naturedly, "decorating…"

"Meredith," he said as his hand caressed her face, "we're going to build our house…on the cliff…one day…"

"We are," she simply stated, but it sounded more like a question.

"Very soon," he said, "we'll need to start thinking about it…"

"Derek…I've been thinking. I'm not so sure about having the cleaning service once you go back to work…I mean…while you're at home, I don't want to worry about it…you're recuperating and your more susceptible to infections without the spleen…but once we're both back at work."

"Once we're both back at work, you'll be twelve weeks pregnant…and have horrible shifts and need to deal with the stress of residency and you agreed, that you'd let me take care of you…and I want to make it easier for you. Mer…you're pregnant, that takes its toll…I don't want you to have to do anything but take care of yourself…"

"I did agree to that…to let you take care of me…and the baby…"

"And that you wouldn't kill me for hovering," he smiled.

Meredith rolled her eyes, "fine…we'll keep them twice a week."

"Mom would be very upset if she found out we got rid of…"

"Speaking of your Mom…tell me how she convinced you to do this," she picked up the album.

"She didn't convince me," he told her, "it was my idea…she just helped…"

"Ok…" Meredith said indulgently.

"There was one day," he smiled, "I was thinking about how special it was that you wanted to have traditions for our family…how you thought of having our old stuffed animals, and realized I wanted to remember everything we'd shared about the baby…and Mom was watching this program all about doing scrap books," he paused, "did you know that people do this all the time…I mean they have clubs and spend a lot of time…"

"No idea," she said honestly.

"Well, Mom mentioned she'd kept baby books for each of us…and it occurred to me…it would be something special to have for our kids…and I had a lot of free time of on my hands," he said just a bit embarrassed, "I Googled baby books and they were so many, and Mom walked in and asked me what I was doing…and she told me maybe I could just get something that would be special to us…and I thought of this…" he smiled, "but then you have to figure out what cover to use and there were way too many, but I told her about the post it…how that happened, and then told her about this idea and she thought it would work…a white cover…with the post it notes…"

"It's perfect," Meredith told him, "for us…for our baby…"

"Mer," he told her, "there are like thousands of options for baby books…and Mom helped me to get the stuff online…and they did the cover as a special order…she thought we should keep the pages simple…until you decided if you liked this…and I liked this design…it could be good for a boy or a girl…" he said of the pages that had lines for writing and alternated with boy or girl appropriate icons in the corners, "and if you liked some of the things they highlight…you know milestones that area usually recorded."

"You took the time," Meredith said, "really…to do all this…" and became emotional.

"There were lots of books you can buy…but I thought, this would be special…have our baby know how much we loved him…or her…" he caressed her face tenderly, "from the first day we knew…from the first day we found about…"

"I did," she bridged the distance between them, and turned her face to him for a kiss, "love our baby…the moment I knew…and I couldn't wait to tell you…" her expression changed, "and…" she took a deep breath, "to think…I waited…and it could have been too late…"

"Hey," Derek cupped her face, "it didn't happen that way…"

"I love you," she said teary eyed, and snuggled into him, "you better not ever…scare me like that again," she repeated what she'd told him several times since his accident. "I'm going to hold you to it Derek…those hundred and ten years…"

"I'm going to do all I can…" he told her, "not to disappoint you."

"This is forever," she picked up the book and read the front page of the album again, "it's the most perfect and beautiful choice…for our baby…for our life...as a family."

"Hey Baby Shepherd," he smiled as he had her lay back against the pillows, and his hand gently rubbed her belly over and over, "I hope you can hear us, since it's not often your Mommy thinks I'm perfect."

"Ass," Meredith giggled.

"Such love…" Derek chuckled.

"You know," Meredith told him, "how very much I love you."

"I do," he said, "just as you know I love you…adore you….Meredith," he said, and spent the rest of the evening showing her exactly what those words meant, in spite of their many limitations to fully unleash their passion.

Derek returned work with a limited schedule four weeks after he was released from the hospital, a few days shy of their fourth month wedding anniversary, and the minute he was back there was no way to conceal that Derek Shepherd was going to become a father. Though nobody openly talked about it or admitted it, he did nothing to hide his fascination with his wife's still invisible baby bump, except she had conceded in bed late one night, that he did in fact know every inch of her body intimately, and that there was indeed a tiny baby bump that was making it uncomfortable to keep her jeans buttoned, and she was grateful for scrubs.

Meredith's twelve week appointment with Dr. Cameron became the talk of the hospital, as bets began to be placed on the due date; one closely guarded by the parents to be, except to family and friends who knew it to be March 20, and with Meredith and Derek's consent, let it slip the baby was due the first week in April, hoping to discourage further speculation and confirming what everyone had guessed. The relationship with his mother and sisters continued to strengthen, and surprising Derek, she and Nancy emailed weekly as her pregnancy progressed.

Dr. Sullivan, given the complexity of the two surgeries, had not encouraged resumption of sexual activities by the time they were celebrating their fourth month anniversary, frustrating the hell out of Derek, while making Meredith doubt he wanted to be with her, that somehow he now found her unattractive. Fortunately, her mood swings did not have any lingering effects to their relationship, as Derek reassured her repeatedly how much he loved and wanted her. Thus, on the night of September 14, if they weren't able to fully resume their sexual relationship, he could at least give her a an evening full of romance and planned dinner by candlelight; Meredith however, had other ideas and recruited Mark and Lexie to help put her plan in action, while unknowingly ruining his.

"Meredith," he attempted to entice her, "come on…let's go out to dinner…let me at least do that," he said, as he stood in front of her, basically pinning her to the back of the elevator wall, his hands caressing her abdomen as the elevator doors opened and those that got in smiled as they witnessed what had become hospital amusement over the few days he'd been back to work, "I can't do much else," he whispered, "not for another week or so."

"Derek," she pouted and her eyes welled with tears, making him give in to her, "I'm so tired, even Dr. Bailey noticed," she lied, "and is sending me home early, we can celebrate at home."

The house was dark when he walked in and went upstairs, she'd been home for a few hours and wanted to make sure she was ok, and as soon as he walked in their room, he smiled and rushed to close the distance between them as he gathered her in his arms and kissed her.

"You lied," he said, as he bit her neck playfully, "about being tired."

"I did," she said, "but all for a good reason…we agreed…secrets were good…just for a little bit."

"My wife," he cupped her face, "has turned into a very sentimental…romantic…"

"Don't forget water faucet," she said, "Maggie says I'm beating Jenna," they laughed, at the ongoing joke over this, as Meredith and Jenna spoke every few days and laughed about what was making them emotional and for how long.

"When did you do this," he said, unable to get the permanent smile of his face, as he saw three perfectly formed hearts made of petals, two in red side by side, and a smaller one right above them half pink and half blue.

"I kind of cheated," she whispered.

"You lied…and cheated," he said.

"Derek," she placed her finger over his lips, "baby can't hear that," she teased.

"I forgot," he said, as he continued to hold her and kiss her.

"Mark helped," she admitted, and giggled, "I told him…since he helped you, that time…with the non-proposal…he had to help me do this…because he's the godfather and I've never…ever considered doing anything like this before."

"So," Derek teased her, "you mean you and Mark were in this bedroom alone…"

"Ass," she smacked him, and then smiled at him flirtatiously, before she kissed him hard.

"You," he said, "have a very selective way…of choosing what the baby can hear, or not."

"He knows," she shrugged, "we love him."

"She knows," he said, "we love each other," and a gentle kiss give way to moans of longing, as they broke apart and agreed to have dinner, which she too had planned and was heating in the oven, ready to be shared by candlelight in the kitchen.

"Lexie picked up the food for me," Meredith told him while she served their plates, "including the cheesecake you like and you don't even have to share it."

"I don't," he reached for her hand and kissed it, "because," he chuckled, "what is the baby craving tonight?"

Meredith giggled acknowledging he had it down to a science. "Mora's…that's what I did, when I left early, got on the ferry and went to get ice cream, for the rest of the week."

"I'd have gone for you," Derek told her as he leaned close to kiss her. Shortly after dinner they went upstairs and she was sitting on his lap in the chair in their bedroom.

"This," she said, "is for you too," she told him as she handed him a box wrapped in a design with baby footprints.

"I have something for you as well," he told her.

"Derek," she said, chewing on her bottom lip, "you remember, for our wedding…the one we didn't have, well we didn't know that…till later…that day…you got me a gift, I mean the Chief said it was a gift…and I didn't know…there were supposed to be gifts…but he said…"

Derek had stopped his attempt to unwrap the present as he followed her now more frequent rambles and couldn't' help but want to laugh.

"You're going to laugh at me," she glared at him. "I'm trying to ask you something…and you're going to laugh at me…even before I ask you."

"No," he said, as he did indeed laugh, and before she could get mad at him, silenced her with a deep and satisfying kiss.

"You can't keep doing that," she said, pretending to be mad, a slight smile on her lips.

"Why not," he teased her and nibbled her lips playfully, "it works."

"True," she said laughing. "Open your gift, which is not really for you..."

"What was your question?"

"Oh," she said, "are we supposed to get gifts…every month? I didn't know I was supposed to get you something, that day for a wedding gift, I told the chief…I didn't want it, that I thought the wedding…you know…our marriage was the gift…but you got me a surgery…my first solo surgery…" she smiled at him, and kissed him.

"No," he smiled, "we don't have to get gifts every month, but…I wanted to."

"Me too," she said, and leaned in to kiss him. "You're always doing things…and I wanted to do something romantic…like you do…"

"I loved what you did," he put his arm around her, "it was very romantic."

"Mark," she rolled her eyes, "he's apparently had a lot of experience with hearts…"

"More likely," Derek chuckled, "breaking them…"

"I told him," Meredith said, "he better not do that to my sister."

"I think," Derek told her, "he's pretty smitten."

"I think he is too," she said as she laid her head on his shoulder and he opened the box.

"Who did this," he smiled as he lifted her bunny and his teddy bear from the box, both with newly tied blue and pink satin ribbons around their neck.

"I went with your Mom," she told him, "since she took your teddy bear…and the lady there, she's been doing this for more than forty years…she guessed I was pregnant, and asked if I wanted to put a new ribbon on the bunny… but, I told her we didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl…so…she suggested a blue ribbon for yours…and pink for mine, but I told her…my bunny was a boy…and of course your Mom said…yours was too…so we compromised…two ribbons for each…and she changed the one on yours…"

"They look brand new," he told her, "I'm sure the baby will love them," he said.

"We can change the ribbons, if we want…later…they can be changed anytime, but I wanted us to have them ready…you know," she said, and her eyes twinkled, "for the nursery."

"The nursery," he smiled.

"Derek," she wrapped her arms around his neck, "we need to start thinking about that…where…which room?"

"I wish," Derek told her, "that we hadn't become so caught up with everything…and had settled on plans for our home…"

"I was thinking," she said, and again, she was biting her lip, letting him know that there were still insecurities that had not been overcome, "we already know…we want more than one baby…"

"We do," he smiled, and kissed her softly.

"Maybe," she said, "we can start thinking about it…what we want for our home, and have plans…and before…before I get pregnant again…we should be in our home."

"I think," he hugged her close to him, "that's a wonderful idea."

"Derek," she smiled as she thought of something else, "Mark …"

"Mer," he teased her, "I don't much care for you smiling that way before you talk about Mark."

"You can't be _pretend_ jealous," she told him, "that's not going to work with me, because I know you trust me."

"That I do," he agreed.

"He told me when he helped you get this room ready, to propose and everything…that you had an enormous white teddy bear."

"Embarrassingly so," Derek chuckled. "Mark convinced me you'd love it."

"I'm not sure," she giggled, and then ran her hands through his hair, "how I'd feel about it, but I bet," she smiled at him, "our kids would love it."

"You're probably right," he said. "We can have that big bear join these two in the nursery. It was so big," he chuckled, "they can probably use it…to sit on it."

"Are you going to give me what you got me?"

"I am," he said and reached over the side of the chair to grab his briefcase, and took out a small distinctly blue and familiar box tied with a white satin ribbon.

"You got me a real gift," she told him, "mine was just… I mean you knew about them."

"Meredith," he told her, "I loved your gifts, for the nursery…and the idea…of hearts…ours and our babies…made of petals…is incredibly real."

"You can't keep spending money on me Derek," she said, as she opened the Tiffany box.

"Of course I can, it gives me pleasure to spend money on you."

"Derek," she said as she lifted the delicate chain from its box, "it's beautiful…"

"We had the same idea," he smiled at her, "don't you think?"

"We did," she smiled, as the tears quickly gathered and she placed the gold chain with the two entwined gold hearts in the palm of her hand, "our hearts…and the little one…"

"The baby," he said, ecstatic that she interpreted his gift the same way. "They had them this size he pointed to the gold heart or smaller like this one he touched the silver one, so I asked if we could combine them, and also have a gold chain instead of silver."

"Thank you," she told him, "it's beautiful…I love that you thought of it…what it would mean to us," she held his face in her hands, "I love you."

"I love you, Meredith."

"Will you help me," she asked as she gave him the chain to secure around her neck.

Later that night, she lay back against the pillows, their nightly routine, and Derek on his side, his fingers stroking her belly gently, lovingly, "hey little one, your mommy's about to fall asleep on me," he teased, "it's time to say good night," and he leaned over her and kissed her belly, as he'd wanted to do every day since he found out she was pregnant, but for weeks his mobility had been limited and now nothing could stop the endearing nightly ritual, "we love you baby," he said, and Meredith smiled and snuggled against him as she fell asleep with her face resting against his heart, and then in the middle of the night, they'd instinctively find themselves entwined, as he spooned her and his hand rested protectively right where their baby was being nurtured.

Meredith's pregnancy was approaching its fourteenth week and she was feeling less tired than the earlier weeks, her energy level returning somewhat to pre pregnancy days, when exhaustion was directly related to the long hours residents logged in. She was officially in her second trimester, and Derek was on full hovery husband and daddy mode; doing most of the grocery shopping and some cooking as he insisted she eat well balanced meals.

Derek no longer cared what anybody thought and any time he saw her, his hands would

find their way to her belly, which now, given how she thin she was naturally, displayed a tiny but definite bump they both adored, and it was one of these moments that her friends witnessed late one afternoon.

"Hey," she heard his voice before he wrapped his arms around her, resting on the tiny swell, "do we have plans for tonight?"

"Other than me…wanting to get to bed before you do," she teased, "and pretend you're scent's not there…everywhere…since all I really want to do is …" she smiled seductively, "all I really want is to have you …ravish me…"

She felt him become rigid for a moment, and then let out his breath before he nuzzled her neck, "in that case," one hand remained on her almost invisible baby bump, while the other caressed the curve of her hip, "I can guarantee…your wish…" he heard her small intake of breath, "will be my command," and he kissed her neck before she turned quickly around to face him.

"You went to Dr. Sullivan," she stated, "and didn't tell me…I'm supposed to be there Derek…just like you are…with me," the pout took over.

"We were scrubbing in at the same time this morning," he told her, "and I asked him to get me in earlier."

"Oh," she gave him a half smile, and rolled her eyes, "that's ok then…"

"More than ok," he smiled at her and drew her closer to him.

"You can ravish me…"

"I can…" he said and she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"I'll be waiting," she said.

"Just don't fall asleep," he teased her, before he kissed her quickly and walked away, leaving her with a smile on her face and a distant faraway look.

"Spare us," Cristina said, "we are being subjected to multiple mcdreamied moments all over this hospital since he came back to work."

"So," Meredith grinned at her. "He's my husband. We're married."

"He's horny," Cristina said, "and apparently, so are…"

"Don't say it," Meredith warned her.

"Don't say what," Alex had walked up next to him.

"That we're being punished with excessive mcdreamied moments, and all that crap..."

"Yang…she's going to rake you over the coals over that one," Alex said and both he and Cristina laughed.

"Mer," Cristina said, "Alex agreed to do a sonogram."

"What are you talking about?"

"Mer," Cristina said, "you agreed."

"I did not," she stared at her friend as though she'd lost her mind.

"Yeah, you did," Alex shrugged. "It's all ready. Even found one of those gel warming…"

"Are you two out of your mind? You don't just do a sonogram…for no reason at all."

"Yang's right. You agreed," he had a smirk on his face, "and everyone's waiting in exam room..."

"Everyone's waiting for me to go in a room and get a sonogram…when I don't need one, have you lost your mind, and who the he…heck's everyone?"

"Just the aunts and uncles," Cristina said.

"Are you ready," Lexie joined them in the somewhat secluded hallway where they were talking.

"You too?" Meredith said, "I should have known. But, you're all crazy."

"Why? You agreed," Lexie said.

"When did I agree to this?"

"Last week," Lexie said, "at your house, when Derek had a late surgery and you said it was just as well…since you'd be asleep soon and forget all about craving sex…and how you were really missing that…and couldn't say anything to Derek…so he wouldn't feel bad…"

"Lexie," Meredith reprimanded.

"It's true," Alex said, "dude…it was one of the longest rambles you've ever had."

"I did not agree to have a sonogram and have all of you…"

"Mer, you did." Lexie said. "You told us how special it was to see the baby for the first time, and you wished we could see it…and you showed us the short video clip again, and then I said I'd love to see how much the baby had grown, and you said you wanted to so badly…and didn't want to wait another six weeks, and Alex said he could do it…and then Derek walked in and you to just stared at each other…and Alex said …"

"Are you out of your mind," Meredith told them, "that wasn't agreeing….that was just…Derek walked in…and I forgot whatever it was you guys were saying…it doesn't count."

"Hey," Cristina said. "We want to see our nephew, and you agreed. Next time, watch what you say when you're being Mcdreamied to death."

"Dude," Alex smirked. "That's all the time…ever since they had sex on the stairwell…it hasn't stopped, well except while Shepherd hasn't been able to…you know…"

"Enough," Meredith said in full bossy tone, "of you talking about our sex life," and then immediately her hand went to her belly and her smile softened as she spoke quietly, "sorry baby." Then she glared back at her friends, "you are all nuts. You can see the baby when I have my next sonogram in six weeks," she said to the complaints of the three whining members of her family.

Derek chuckled as they drove home, "I can't believe they wanted you to have a sonogram."

"It was kind of sweet," Meredith said, and Derek quickly glanced over, he sensed she'd become sentimental. "Can you believe it," he heard the emotion in her voice, "even, even Cristina…she was excited to see our baby…"

"It's the first baby," Derek told her, equally touched by their actions, "in the family…"

"You really have to stop doing that you know," she said as she reached to entwine their hands.

"What?"

"Saying things that you know get me all teary eyed and sentimental."

"I don't mind you all sentimental…and I'm glad that you're happy…that your family…our family here is so supportive."

"Derek," she gently squeezed his hand, "there's something I didn't tell you…"

"What's that…"

"You know…the story about why they thought I'd agreed to it…"

"Ok…"

"It…they were making fun of me…because last week when you came home really late, and we all had pizza at home…I'd been really rambling…and I may have told him…of the one craving…I hadn't been able to satisfy…"

"Meredith," he glanced over at her, as he came to a stop at a red light. Thankfully, he'd think after she continued talking, they were not too far from home, "why haven't you told me…you know I don't mind…getting whatever you want."

"You couldn't really…do anything about it…well…you have…kind of…but…not…"

"Meredith," Derek brought her hand to his lips, and turned to her, right before the light turned green, "you need to tell me…so I can get you whatever you want…but if I don't know about it…and what craving…haven't I…"

"Sex," she blurted out, "I've been missing you…longing…to make love to you…craving to have you…to feel you …"

_A/N 12FEB10 - Thank you so much to all of you still interested in reading this story. The__re is one more chapter to be posted. To each of you that have commented and offered your enthusiastic support, I cannot thank you enough._


	19. Chapter 19

_Thanks for reading and apologies for such a long delay. Even though the story is outlined and the last scene written, work's been very intense and some of the free time I've written for SD. This was intended as the last chapter, but after so long, decided some readers would want a bit of intimacy between them…before moving on, so I went with that and hence one more chapter after this. After so long, hope you'll enjoy it._

_To all of you celebrating the Passover feast, hope it was a blessed day with friends and family; to all of you celebrating Easter, wish you the joy, hope and blessings of this, the most significant, Holiday for those of Christian beliefs. Warm regards, Jasmin_

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 19**

"Sex," Derek turned to her, stunned, and repeated, "you've been craving sex…and I haven't been able to…" he was trying to hold back his laughter, and chose to tease her, "do anything about it…sort of…so I've even failed at…"

"You're laughing at me," she glared at him. "I'm pregnant…and hormonal…and I tell you what I'm feeling and you are laughing at me," the glare just as quickly turned to glimmering unshed tears.

"Mer," he reached for her hand, but she pulled it from his grasp, and he immediately pulled over and released his seatbelt and hugged her. "I'm sorry…it's just the way you said that…Mer…come on…"

"You're laughing at me," she turned her face, "and it's not very nice."

"I'm sorry. I should be more sensitive," he said and gently turned her face to meet his gaze. "Will you forgive me, if I promise…to satisfy all your cravings."

"It wasn't nice…" she said, actually realizing how irrational her reaction was, "you won't complain or laugh at me...and you'll…it was a real craving you know…"

"I won't…whatever you want…I'll be at your beck and call."

"Really…even if it's the middle of the night…and I want ice cream…or whatever…"

"Even then," he brushed her lips with his.

"And you've had a long day and you're tired…and…"

"Even then…" he caressed her face.

"What if you have to take the ferry and go to Mora's," she said, with just a hint of a satisfied smile that she couldn't hide from him; didn't really want to.

"How long were you on the phone with Jenna today?" Derek teased her.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"It's not very nice Meredith," he cupped her face with both hands and kissed her softly, "to use Baby Shepherd…just because my sister's an expert, and she has Rob wrapped around her little finger…and apparently more than her water faucet ways are contagious…even across the miles…"

"You…you think," she placed both hands gently on her almost invisible bump, and the tears were real this time, "I'd use the baby…to…to…I didn't do that…"

"Meredith," he said tenderly, "I knew you were teasing…please…don't be upset…I'm sorry…"

"I wouldn't," she told him with tears in her eyes, "I wouldn't use the baby to get …I really was just teasing you…since you looked so stunned…but it was about that…about you laughing at me about sex…not about using the baby…"

"I know that," he kissed her softly, "but I saw your smile…and …"

"That was about the ice cream…and joking with you to see how much you'd agree to…but not earlier…when you were laughing at me…I wasn't," she took a couple of deep broken breaths.

"Meredith," he said softly, "I'm sorry …please don't be upset…"

"You believe me…" she asked, eyes glimmering with real tears, "I wasn't …"

"Meredith," he said softly, "do you have any idea…all I would do for you?"

"I know," she let him hug her, "and I'm sorry too… I don't know Derek…this…I'm fine and then… it feels like I have no control over my emotions…and …"

"It's ok," he kissed her.

"Really…I'm not driving you crazy?" she asked so seriously, as though it was the most important answer in the world, he tried not to react; Bailey was right, Meredith's pregnancy was one hell of a rollercoaster of emotions.

"Really," he kissed her again. "I'm just glad I wasn't driving when you said that…or I'd probably had driven off the road."

"It is true," she smiled at him, kissing him back, "that's the one craving…"

"Yeah…" he nibbled her bottom lip.

"Derek…" she said in an unusually shy tone, "can I ask you something…"

"You can ask me anything…"

"I know I'm not really showing…but in a few weeks and later, do you think…when I'm all out of shape and fat…will you…"

"Hey," he cut her off, "I love you…and I can't wait till you're showing," his hand caressed her almost invisible bump, "and you are not going to be out of shape or fat…you are going to be absolutely beautiful…and glowing, like you have been…and I am going to love being able to see and feel our baby grow…"

"You're sure," she paused, "you think you'll still want…"

"Yes…" he said simply, and rather than say anything else, which could likely be misinterpreted, chose to provide his answers with a kiss.

"Derek…" she said pulling away from him, a glint of mischief I her eyes.

"Uhmmm…"

"Then what are we doing here…instead of rushing to get home…"

"I'm out of practice," he smiled, "obviously…it's been weeks and weeks…"

"And you forgot," she smiled and nipped at the lobe of his ear playfully.

"We'll have to find out," he smiled at her as he cocked his head, "if I can still…"

"Derek," she smiled back at him, amusement in her eyes, "you promised…" teased him, "all my cravings…"

"Every last one of them," he said, and gave her a quick kiss before he drove away, hands entwined and made it home in record time, and as soon as they walked in the house, she shut the door behind them and captured his mouth.

"Oh God," she said when they took a breath, "I'm missed you…I've missed you so much, Derek…it feels like ages…since we made love."

"Tell me about it," he said, as he captured her lips, "I love you Meredith."

"I love you too…and it's been so long… Derek," she said as they gave in to the hunger and weeks' old longing for each other. Their pent up sexual craving quickly escalated and she felt his arousal against her, and reached to unzip his jeans, when he reached for her hand and stopped her.

"Wait…"

"Wait…" she said…"why…"

"We can't…not yet…"

"Are you crazy…" she said to him, "I just told you…you're the one craving…I've been longing for…"

"I'm not crazy," he chuckled and looked at the incoming text message and replied.

"Derek Shepherd…if you think this is funny…and texting is more important…"

"Meredith," he said softly, "tonight…technically…is our wedding night…"

"Our wedding night…" she said, "that's what you think…"

"We missed out," he said, "on that celebration…"

"You said…our wedding would always be…that day…our anniversary…you didn't mean it…the post it didn't mean anything…"

"Oh no," he said and silenced her impending hormonal ramble with a kiss, "you know that is not true…"

"But…you want to wait…"

"Mer…I did not say that... I crave having you as well…constantly…since the first time we were together…and tonight I want nothing more than to bury myself deep inside you… but…I want to make love to you…to my wife…I don't want to to just satisfy this hunger that has been with me since the last time…this hunger eating away at us…I want to make love to you…with you…"

"Derek…we can do that…later…" she said, reaching for him, "let's just …" she taunted, squeezing him gently, "take it slow…later…as slow as you want…"

"I have a surprise for you…" he said, backing slightly away from her, grasping her hand and bringing it to rest against his heart, his eyes shimmering with emotion, "I wanted to make tonight special…our second wedding night…and my wife…is pregnant…with our baby…and…"

"But…you want to wait…does that mean…"

"It means…" he said smiling at her adoringly.

"You better make it good… you're making me feel you rather wait and that's making me feel not so great right now…"

"Meredith," he cupped her face, and followed with a gentle caress. "We're not alone."

"Don't get cute Derek…" she was losing patience, "you can't use the baby as an excuse."

"Come with me," he kissed her lips softly and reached for her hand as they walked up stairs and reached their bedroom door. "Wait here…"

"Derek…"

"One minute…" he smiled, "wait here…"

"One minute…" she repeated.

"Yes…" he said and closed the door behind him.

"Hey little one," Meredith placed her hand on her abdomen, and spoke quietly, "your Aunt Cristina is probably right…she says your daddy has been on permanent McDreamy mode, and it's making her just as nauseous as I've been…not that I'm complaining…I love you baby…and that just means you're growing and…"

"Ok," Derek said as he opened the door, "told you…just one minute…" and then he stepped aside and let Mark and Lexie walk out the door.

"What…what…" Meredith said, "were you two doing in our bedroom…oh God…don't tell me you …and Mark…Lexie Grey…explain yourself…"

"I can't," she smiled.

"Mark…what is going on?" Meredith demanded.

"Shep," Mark smiled, "you're right, she is bossier than before."

"You…both of you…Derek…"

"Good night Mer," Lexie smiled at her sister.

"Have fun," Mark smirked as he slapped Derek on the shoulder, and he and Lexie walked down the stairs and toward the kitchen before they left the house.

"Derek," Meredith glared at him, "what…"

"My surprise," he smiled and held the door open for her, and the moment she walked in, she turned to him, and then burst into tears.

"Mer…" Derek quickly embraced her, "what's wrong…I thought you'd be pleased…"

"You…" she continued crying as she clung to him, "you…did this…why…"

"Why…" he questioned, uncertain where she was coming from, a frequent experience over the last several weeks, "I thought you'd like this…but…you're crying…and I'm not sure why…"

"I do like it…it's …" she didn't stop crying.

"Meredith…please don't be upset…"

"I'm not," she pulled away to look at him, "I'm not…"

"Why are you crying?"

"Because…" she sniffled, "it's beautiful and you did this…for me…"

"Of course it's for you…"

"Like our wedding night…the first time…" she smiled at him, "you did this…"

"We had a honeymoon night," he said tenderly, "and no wedding…and then a wedding and no honeymoon night…so I wanted this night to be special…"

"Oh," she tried to keep the tears at bay, "Derek…tonight would be special because we're together…you didn't have to do all of this," she said as she looked around their bedroom where there were flowers and some balloons and a small banner hanging from the window that said _Just Married – Again_.

"I wanted to…Meredith…you deserved so much more than I've given you…"

"Don't you dare," she told him, "tell me that…you know that is not true…that is not the way I feel…"

"Mark was right," Derek smiled at her, "much bossier than before."

"Derek," she responded with a half smile. "I'm going to ignore that comment…for now…I want to know how you did this…thought of all this…when?"

"As soon as I saw Sullivan I asked Mark and Lexie for help…to make it happen…"

"Thank you," she said, "it's very special…looks just like our non-wedding night…" she smiled, "except in our bedroom and not downstairs…"

"I thought of that," he said, "no fireplace…but you're pregnant, and I thought it'd be…the bed would be better…more comfortable than the floor even if we did have…"

"It's perfect," she told him, "just perfect," and kissed him softly at first, and then as she deepened their kiss he stopped.

"Oh crap…"

"Crap…" she said looking offended, "crap…I kiss you like that…and…"

"The bathtub…they left the water running…" he said and opened their bathroom door as she followed him and gasped softly, and he turned off the faucet and in the moments that followed helped her get in the tub and joined her, and explained he'd texted them when he left the hospital so they would time everything including filling the tub, but Mark had been delayed at one of the stops. "We've been using them a lot," he chuckled, "to do these errands for us," and they laughed as they thought about the last similar romantic evening they'd planned that had required Mark and Lexie's help.

"Derek," she smiled as she lay back against him in the lavender scented bath, his hands gently caressing her baby bump, "the look on your face…when I said I'd been craving sex…was priceless…"

"You should have told me…"

"And frustrate us both…when I knew we had to wait till Dr. Sullivan…"

"I could have tried…would have made sure at least…"

"You did," she laid her head against his shoulder and looked up at him, "but…it was you I needed to feel…all of you…"

"Bath time," his voice hoarse, "is over…"

"Finally," she mumbled as his lips met hers, and then he helped her out of the tub and quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her and gently began to dry her body.

"Are you still," he whispered seductively in her ear, "in the mood," he teased, as his mouth traveled from the spot right behind her ear down her neck to her shoulders and bit her playfully, "having the same cravings…"

"Uhmm…" she said absently, "I think I lost some of that craving…right now…I'd really like food…I'm starving…"

"Oh," he said as their eyes met and she saw the disappointment, "we have dinner, your favorite's in the oven…I asked Lexie to stop by and get Italian…"

"Derek," she said softly, turning then pressing herself seductively against him, "I'm famished…and I'm teasing you…my craving hasn't changed…at all…you…us…is what I want…desperately…and you…" her mouth captured his, and then her tongue teased until they were dueling for control, "you…are my favorite…"

"Meredith…" he said breathlessly, "I want you…need you…so much…"

"What's stopping you…" she pressed herself more intimately against him, his erection making his desire more than obvious, and she reached for him and he took a deep breath in anticipation of a night filled passion where all their favorites things would be fulfilled.

"Mer…" he whispered almost reverently against her lips, "tonight…it's been so long…but let me…let me show you…how much I love you…what you mean to me…"

"I need to show you too…" she said, caressing the length of him, "I want to…"

He began to lift her into his arms, intending to carry her to the bed.

"No," she said, "Derek…your surgery…we're not taking any chances…you're not carrying me…"

"You're afraid I'll drop you," he smiled, his eyes teasing and filled with desire.

"No," she giggled, "I don't want to take any chances…you'll hurt yourself…and not be able to fulfill all my cravings," and their laughter echoed through the walls as they kissed their way to the bed, and then he gently lay her back against the pillows.

"I love you Meredith," he said, and his mouth found hers as he carefully covered her body with his, "I love you so much…"

"I love you too," she said, and buried her fingers in his hair, and then felt him pull away from her, and his eyes roamed the length of her body.

"We…" he said, his gaze filled with love and lust and adoration, "did not have," she felt his mouth…his lips, "the most traditional of weddings…our first wedding…and then…" his tongue teased and her skin tingled with desire, "our second wedding…no honeymoon night…"

"Derek…" she said, "stop talking…"

"Tonight," he said, "with my body I thee worship…" repeating the centuries old vows seldom used now, but that communicated the depth of his love for her, and he kissed her softly, tenderly, "every inch of you…my love…my soul mate…my wife…let me show you what you mean to me…how much I adore you…Meredith…"

"Derek…" she said softly, her hand caressing the day's old stubble, "what you feel…what I mean to you… it's just as I feel for you…my husband…my soul mate…the love of my life."

"Tonight…our second…wedding night…one to always remember…no rushing…taking it slow…so slow…" he said, wanting to be gentle with her, mindful of her pregnancy though not wanting to tell her, part of him needing to be ever gentle because of the baby.

"We can take it slow…tonight, our wedding night, the first time we make love…in forever," she said, and let him take the lead, desperately wanting him, but in the back of her mind remained an unspoken fear that their sexual intimacy could affect her pregnancy, in spite of the assurances from Dr. Cameron that there were no restrictions as a results of the earlier cramping weeks before.

The result of their unspoken feelings would eventually be revealed throughout the night, long after their lovemaking reached new heights of intimacy and their souls knew the depth of the love for the other, as he gently and reverently made love to his wife.

"Derek," she moaned softly, almost making him lose his resolve to take it ever so slowly, as she molded her body intimately against him, the heat and hardness of his desire pressed against her, their moans of pleasure enticing the other, and then she breathlessly stopped to tease, "my turn…at all of your favorite things," she said as she stroked and caressed him.

"You," he began, his breathing hard, and then bringing his mouth to her breast, sucking gently as she felt her entire body tingling with anticipation, "are making it very hard…"

"I hope so," she said suggestively, his hands on her body making her feel like a finely tuned instrument, ready to be played…stroked by a master, her soft moans made him forget his resolve momentarily.

"Mer …our wedding night," he said as her tongue teased his "tonight…" he took a deep breath, "I want to love you…every inch of you…"

"You are…Derek…" she said, again making him forget his resolve, as she shifted beneath him rubbing against him, her hands squeezing the length of him, willing him to forget about waiting, "you are…"

"Mer…" he said, the look in his eyes mesmerized by hers, "you're…"

"I want you," she moaned, "now…" she said as her body responded to the gentle strokes of his fingertips on her body, the light flush of her skin evident to his knowing eyes, "no more waiting."

"No more waiting," he agreed as the mating dance of tongues shared a soulful kiss that expressed their every desire, but it would be a while before he joined their bodies.

Time was suspended as they traveled thoroughly through familiar territories, each wanting to bring the other the ultimate night of pleasure. Each touch, each caress was an expression of the commitment they'd made long ago, their hearts rejoicing in the memories of so many poignant first moments in their lives; the first time making love, not having sex, at his trailer that night when fate smiled down on them and they unknowingly accepted their feelings on faith; prom night and the culmination of months of longing fulfilled; breakup sex that was anything but; making love the first time after the candle house on the cliff; the night of their non-wedding when soul mates rejoiced at making a commitment for a lifetime; their wedding night, the first one and now tonight the first time making love after learning of a tiny miracle between them.

Pausing to gaze into each other's eyes, their reflections exact in the love and passion silently communicated while their tongues joined in the eternal dance of legendary lovers finding and pleasuring one another with each touch, each whisper, each tender and loving caress, until the moment that drew infinitely closer for him to join their bodies, at last.

His mouth found its way to her breasts, but this too had changed, and he smiled, needing to stop as he realized the tenderness that made her wince involuntarily was one more amazing evidence of the baby they'd created, and so instead, his hands delighted in providing sensuous pleasure as they traveled her body as did hers, finding and lingering at all of the places they knew so intimately.

She reached for him, gently at first, but then with a sense of impending urgency, and he finally spoke, "Mer…don't…I…let me…"

"I don't want to wait anymore…"

"Not sure I can," he said, as she insisted by increasing the pressure and intensity of the rhythm, "Mer…" he groaned, his entire body was tense as he fought for self control as he gently puts her hand aside, "don't…not yet…"

"Derek," she pleaded, reaching for him again, "please…I want you…need you so much…"

"Meredith," he groaned again, "we've waited so long…don't…" he said as he captured both her hands, "not yet…"

"I don't want to wait…Derek, I want to feel you…"

"The night is young," he said, wanting nothing more to do just as she said, but at the same time wanting to be ever so gentle.

"Derek," she moaned, "it's not nice…" she gasped as she first felt his hands on her inner thigh caressing her, higher and higher then his mouth trailed kisses from her thigh down her leg, nipping at her gently, playfully and Meredith not wanting to wait any longer reached for his face and raised it to meet her gaze, "to make me wait."

"It's a virtue," he teased her, trying to hold on to the last bit of control.

"I want to feel you," she spoke, her lips inches away from his, "inside me…" she moaned, as his hands continued to trace their way up and down her thighs, "now…Derek…I want you inside me…" she said breathlessly, "now…"

"Your wish…to fulfill every craving," he said as he did exactly as she asked, and within seconds felt her familiar spasms, her body reacting to the presence of his fingers, until she cried out with pleasure, and then smiling at her, he captured her mouth and began teasing her with his tongue.

"Derek," she said, catching her breath, "that is not what I meant…"

"Are you complaining…" he said as he began exploring her body all over again.

"No…" she admitted, moaning softly, "but …Derek…"she said arching her hips toward him, against him, aching for him, needing him desperately as he muttered unintelligible things, and she brought him near to her, and as their eyes met he was totally lost in the depth of the grey green eyes he adored, and without any further delay he complied with her wish and using all of his self control fought the increasing urge to just bury himself inside of her. The tiny invisible baby between them not far from his mind, and afraid of hurting her, he slowly and gently penetrated her moistness and heard her intake of breath.

"Derek…" she moaned softly, the look of ecstasy on her face, as he remained motionless, momentarily allowing her to adjust to his length.

"Meredith," he said in a harsh whisper, "I love you…"

"I…" she began to say, feeling him deep inside her, as their gazes locked, "love you…finally…my husband…all mine…no more doubts…" she said, without realizing how much she was revealing to him, how important the legal wedding had been to her.

He fought to remain in control, as her words almost shattered his resolve, "I…" he said, his breath labored, "I adore you…" and then reverently, "Meredith…my wife."

"Oh…Derek," she barely whimpered, closing her eyes briefly, emotion overwhelming her.

"Mer…are you ok…love?" he asked with concern as she closed her eyes, thinking about her recent scare and the physical effect it could have on her body.

"I'm perfect," she whispered meeting his gaze, and he caught a glimpse of her soul, "just perfect…my love…my soul mate…the rest of our lives…together…"

"My soul mate…for the rest of our lives," he said with equal emotion.

Her hands caressed his back and her lips found his, "love me Derek…" she said, and gently contracting she squeezed him, "please…" she urged as her tongue played with his, "don't hold back…"

"The baby…" he said, "and you…don't want to…"

"The baby," she said, "is fine…she's fine…" she said so quietly neither noticed.

Those were the only words he needed as they began the timeless ritual of two bodies joined as one, finding the perfect rhythm. His groans, her moans no longer quiet, further increasing their long unfulfilled desires until his control no longer mattered and seconds before his release, they each whispered I love you, adding to the poignancy of their first time making love as husband and wife, and the sounds of her pleasure echoed through the room as he looked deep into her eyes and witnessed the ecstasy of her surrender, and she his as their love was consummated and their mutual ecstasy sealed what even others undoubtedly recognized was a love of legends.

"I love you," he said, their bodies still joined as one.

"I love you Derek…I love you so much," she said and he noticed the tears in her eyes.

"Mer…what's wrong…you're crying…did I hurt you?" he said, gently caressing her, cupping her face with both hands, he kissed her, "Meredith…love…"

"I'm…it's …"

"What is it?" he asked with concern.

"It's…the first time…we've made love…since…"

"Ah…since we're married," he smiled, acknowledging he recognized its importance.

"Yes," she said, the soft sound of tears in her voice, "but it's the first time …since…we know…about the baby…"

"Nothing between us," he smiled, "but our baby…"

"Yes," she smiled, "he's very well behaved too…"

"Is she?" he said, the routine they'd established about the baby's gender back in place.

"Derek," Meredith said a while later as she lay in his arms, "can I ask you about something?"

"Of course you can," he said as his hands caressed her body.

"Are you planning on feeding me," she smiled, "real food…tonight?"

"Oh shit…Meredith…I forgot all about it…it's probably turned to charcoal…"

"Derek," she shifted her body and kissed him, "you can't say that…no cursing…baby's almost sixteen weeks…he may be an early listener…or whatever…"

"Right," he smiled as her lips found his again, "now…let me go see what disaster we have in the kitchen…at least smoke alarm's not going off…"

"I'll help you…"

"Clean up the kitchen?" he asked.

"No…I'll watch you do that, but I'll make us sandwiches."

"Stay here," he smiled and kissed her before getting out of bed, "I'll bring us dinner."

"You're spoiling me…" she smiled.

"I am…"

"I'm letting you," she said, as her hand rested on her abdomen, "aren't we baby?"

"Let me know when she answers," Derek teased, and kissed her once more before grabbing a robe and leaving the room and was not gone very long before he brought a tray of food, and found an empty bed.

"Mer," he called out, "you ok?"

"Be right there," she called out from the bathroom, "yes I'm fine, your son is making sure I know he's responsible for my endless trips to the bathroom."

"I'm going to get something else," he said and came back in with two champagne flutes and two bottles, one of them inside an ice bucket.

"Derek," she said as she looked at the two plates of Italian food, "it didn't burn."

"No," he chuckled and handed her a note that made her laugh delightedly, as she read.

_Derek, you'll probably be the one to check on dinner, but figure it will be a while, so I've set the timer for one hour from now at the lowest temperature. Should be good by the time you get down here, but I've gone ahead and programmed an off time just in case. Cheesecake in the fridge. See you tomorrow. Lexie._

"Smart ass," Meredith smirked, and then looked over at him surprised as he sat on the edge of the bed popped open a bottle of champagne. "Derek…I can't drink."

"No…but we have to toast our second wedding night…"

"I can't drink," she said again, as he poured two glasses, and she walked up to him, and he hugged her to him, as she stood in front of him, wearing a red robe.

"I'm not going to either," he said, "just a toast…" he said, "to our marriage…our life together…our baby girl… or boy…" and then he paused as he untied the sash at her waist and pulled her closer to him, his hands at her waist, and she saw the look of awe in his eyes, "Mer…have you noticed…the baby…"

"That I'm getting fat…" she smiled as she leaned down and kissed the top of his head.

"No…Mer…Meredith," his hand gently caressed her abdomen, "there's a tiny bump…Mer…look…it wasn't there before…" he said as he smiled and looked up to meet her gaze, and his hands were replaced by his lips, "hey baby…you're really there…we can see you…"

"Derek," she said, her eyes quickly filling with tears, "there is…there's a little bump…look…at my stomach…it's not flat…it's not…" she said, and she hugged him to her, his face resting on her no longer flat baby belly…and she felt his tears on her skin.

"Derek…" she raised his face, as she stood in between his legs, "what's wrong…Derek…"

"Mer…I almost…almost didn't have this…" he fought to keep his emotions under control. "I almost…didn't make it…and you…the baby…"

"Hey…" she said, trying to controls her already tearful emotions, and sat down on his lap. "Don't make me cry…you know it doesn't take much lately…Derek…we do have this…you're ok…and everything's ok with the baby…you saw the baby…and heard the heartbeat…and I haven't had any more problems…we're ok Derek…we're getting our life together…we're spending the rest of our lives…together…with this little one…and now…everyone will know too…can't keep this hidden much longer…"

"Meredith," he said, as he cupped her face and kissed her, "I love you…so much…"and then he placed her hand on her abdomen, where he knew the baby was being nurtured, "I love you both…so much…"

"So do we Derek…so do we," she smiled through her tears.

"A toast," he said, and they brought their flutes together, "to the rest of our lives…" and he took a sip and kissed her lips, "see…you got a taste of exquisite champagne."

"Exquisite," she said, as she savored the taste and their lips met once more.

"The rest of the night," he smiled, "we can drink this apple cider."

"You can drink champagne," she told him.

"But you can't," he smiled, "that was just for the important toast."

"You're going to just waste it…that's pretty expensive Derek…"

"It wasn't wasted," he told her, "we drank…both of us did."

"I guess we did," she said, accepting his romantic and sentimental overture, and they drank part of the bottle of apple cider, she had most of it enjoying its sweetness, with dinner and he insisted she have the last bite of chocolate cheesecake.

Hours later, sometime in the middle of the night, she awakened wrapped in each other's arms, and carefully got up without waking him. However, he felt the absence of her warmth and when she came back to bed was awake. "Baby keeping you up?"

"Too much drinking," she smiled, "I need to remember and avoid too much liquids."

"Sorry about that," he said, "I should have realized it."

"Hey, we were celebrating…and we had lots to make up for…not to mention cravings…"

"So…" he asked, "were you satisfied…your cravings…I mean," he said, smiling at her, nipping at her lips she got back in bed, "was I able to live up to your expectations," he teased.

"Absolutely…" she giggled, "never had any doubts."

"Blind faith," he winked at her, "you know…if I was going to remember…" he joked about what he's said earlier in the evening on the way home.

"You did…just fine," she teased, as she brought her naked body close to his and her hand began caressing his face, slowly working its way down his neck to his chest, followed by soft kisses turned to biting kisses while her other hand reached for him and proved, unequivocally, he had not forgotten anything.

"Mer," he mumbled, sucking in his breath, "you sure…you're ok…"

"Derek," she whispered against his mouth, "I've missed you…so much…"

"I've missed you too…" he said and kissed her deeply, "we have the rest of our lives."

"I want you Derek," she murmured, her face barely apart from his, "I'm ok…we can take it…" she said finding his mouth, "slow…" nipping at his lips, "very slow…" she finished as she devoured his mouth, seconds before she lay on top of him.

"Meredith…"

"My turn…" she silenced him with her lips, "with my body…I thee worship…" she whispered, later followed by the sounds of their mutual surrender echoing through the silence of the most beautiful and perfect night in September as their child settled comfortably, days shy of Meredith's fifteenth week of pregnancy.

"Good morning baby," Meredith felt his lips on her abdomen, "are you going to behave for Mommy today…"

"Did he answer," Meredith giggled.

"She's still sleeping," Derek chuckled.

"But," Meredith said, as she started to get up, "he's already forcing me to get out of bed."

"Mer," he said when she settled back in bed, and his hands roamed her body, but were especially fascinated by her newly discovered visible baby bump, "you know how last night…you said we couldn't keep this little one hidden anymore…" his amused look intrigued her.

"Yes…"

"I think everyone already knows…"

She laughed delightedly, and placed her hand over his, "I know…we know…little one don't we, since Daddy's been back at work and can't keep his hands off you."

"I love you," Derek kissed her, and then kissed her belly, "love you baby."

"We love you too," she smiled. "Are you going to feed us?"

"Clarify…that for me…" he teased her.

"Breakfast Derek," she smiled at him, "cereal and milk and…bananas…do we have any? Maybe some cheesecake."

"I think we do," he told her, "if not…I can run to the store."

"You'd do that…" she said, her lips leaving a trail from his neck…down…

"You know I would…" he mumbled as her lips traveled lower.

"But first…" she smiled wickedly, "there's one craving …I haven't mentioned…and you don't need to go to the store to satisfy it…we already have…"

"Ice cream…" he teased.

"Our first quickie…" she smiled at him, "since…the baby…"

"Another craving," he smiled as his lips found hers and it would be a long while before they sat across each other and ate breakfast in the kitchen.

"Great," Meredith and Derek both smiled as they walked into the cafeteria holding hands and joined their friends, "lunch time and we have to put up with mutual Mcdreamied displays of affection."

"You're in a good mood," Meredith sat down, while Derek went through the cafeteria line. "What's made you so cheerful?"

"You and Mcdaddy," Cristina said, "are so predictable," and she extended her hand to the others, "pay up."

"Betting," Meredith said, "you're betting on our baby?"

"Dude," Alex said, "this was a no brainer. Entire hospital's been waiting for the two of you to have sex."

"When do people have time to practice medicine around her?" Meredith said just as Derek returned with a tray that included two different desserts.

"Perfect," Meredith said when he sat down next to her, and smiled at him, "thank you."

"Nauseating," Cristina said.

"It's sweet," Lexie chimed in.

"Yang," Mark said, "you owe me…"

"I do not, I said…"

"I told you they would both be walking around with stupid grins on their faces."

"So did I," Cristina argued.

"Yes," Mark smirked, "but I said it would be today."

"You had insider information," Cristina told him, "that invalidates…"

"Ok," Meredith turned to them, "this really has to stop. You all need to get your own lives…worry about your sex lives," she stopped herself, "can't talk about that," she said, "baby can almost hear now…so…yes," her voice was quiet, "we were intimate last night and this morning, and if people can tell who cares. Now, as for the bet, hand over the money."

"Why?" Mark questioned.

"Because, you agreed you are not betting on our child," Meredith said in a very bossy tone.

"We didn't agree to that," Cristina said.

"Yes," Meredith said, and they all saw the subtle change in tone, "you did…when we first found out, and we told you…you agreed…and it's our baby…and you're not going to be placing bets about her or him," she corrected, "you agreed…you all did…" and the tears gathered and she sniffled.

"Mer," Cristina said, "it's ok…you're right…we won't," she agreed and dared the others to disagree. "We won't do it anymore."

"Thank you," Meredith said and she turned to Derek. "They care, they do. I told you."

"Yes, you did," Derek smiled, "they do," he said, thinking about the story of them wanting her to have a sonogram, but also knowing full well there would be no end to betting, but they undoubtedly cared about the baby.

"Dude," Alex said, "Bailey was right, you're in for a hell of rollercoaster ride."

"Are you implying," Meredith turned to Alex, "that…I'm driving him crazy?"

Alex just shrugged and Cristina smacked him across the back of his head.

"Yang, what the hell was that for?"

"Baby ears," she whispered, and the look of amusement on her face was priceless, "plus…I've always wanted to."

"Bitch," Alex said, to the simultaneous female chorus of, "Alex!"

"Do something," Alex said to Derek.

"I'm just the Dad," he smiled.

"Whipped," Mark laughed, "totally."

"Yeah," Derek smiled, "and I wouldn't have it any other way," he leaned in to kiss Meredith's cheek.

Meredith's nausea and morning sickness had all but vanished by her sixteenth week of pregnancy, though the emotional roller coaster was often referred to amongst her friends.

Her visit to Dr. Cameron was reassuring that all was well with the baby, heart beat was strong as it should be, and they discussed all the changes taking place in her body, including recommending she begin sleeping on her side all the time as it was healthier and took pressure off the aorta.

"You're glowing Grey," Bailey commented within range of Cristina and Alex.

"That's because," Cristina blurted out, "she's producing fifty percent more blood and the additional blood circulation makes her face brighter."

"Plus," Alex said, "she's on hormone over drive and oil glands can make the face shiny."

"Yang, Karev, thank you for that," Bailey glared at them, "lesson in pregnancy."

"Dude," Alex said, "it's true…at sixteen weeks that's what's happening."

"What's going on," Mark walked up to them.

"Mer's sixteen weeks…and the reason," Karev said, "she's glowing."

"Yeah," Mark said, "you had an appointment today…was the baby ok…did the doctor tell you…how much weight did you gain…at least six pounds right, even if the baby is not even three ounces, it's all amniotic fluid."

"Sloan," Bailey stared at him, "you know this…because…"

"We all have different books. The four of us compare notes with what's going on with Baby Shepherd."

"You…" Meredith said, and took a deep breath, "all have books…pregnancy books…"

"First Shepherd - Grey baby," Mark said, "yeah, we're all keeping track of it…"

"Different books," Meredith said, and they all heard the sniffles, "you're all reading about babies…"

"Mer," Cristina said, "babies are toxic. We're reading about yours."

"Oh God," Meredith said overcome with sentimental tears.

"Grey," Miranda Bailey said, "don't you dare cry…"

"It's…" Meredith wiped away the tears, "I can't help it Dr. Bailey. You know that."

"Yeah," Bailey smiled indulgently, "I do know and don't you dare flood this hospital again," she joked, and got her to laugh as well as the others.

Meredith's shift ended later than Derek's that day, and he was already home when she came in the bedroom at nearly nine and heard him fumbling around in the closet.

"Derek," she called out to him, and went straight to lie down.

"Hey," he smiled as he walked over to her, "tired?"

"Uhmm…a little."

"Did you have dinner?"

"I did," she smiled as he leaned in to kiss her, "baby was starving."

"Yeah?"

"I ordered something from Joe's and Alex got it for me."

"They're all being great sports," Derek sat on the bed and his hand instinctively went to her abdomen, "you want anything else?"

"Just you," she said, "lie down with me?"

"I have something for you," he smiled at her.

"You do?" she smiled back, wondering what the little boy excitement was about.

"It's not a big deal," he told her, "but I had time while you were working, and after what Dr. Cameron said…"

"Derek," she said, "what did you do?" She asked, but, he was already looking in the closet and came back to the bed with a huge package.

"Dr. Cameron said you should sleep on your side now," he told her.

"I know…" Meredith agreed, "I normally do anyway…with you…behind me."

"Yeah," he said, "but in case I'm not here…if I'm working late or stuck at the hospital."

"Surely," she opened her eyes wide at the size of the package, "you didn't get me one of those inflatable dolls …Derek…"

She wished she had a camera to capture the look on his face, as did Derek when she told him that, and he roared with laughter before he was able to tell her, "no…I did not get one of those, but got you these instead…and he took out two different pillows.

"What are they?" Meredith asked, as she looked over a wedge shaped pillow and a larger rather monstrous size one.

"Pregnancy pillows," he said, "I found this maternity shop online and I went after work, and these are the best…and if I'm not here, you can use this," he showed her the bigger one, "so you won't be tempted to sleep on your back," he said very proud of his purchases.

"That is a very big pillow," she said.

"It's a body pillow, it can adjust to several positions, they told me it was the best one…though you may find just a regular pillow works…but I know how you like to snuggle so…this seemed like a good idea…for when I can't be here," his enthusiasm was a bit deflated, "you don't want them…" he said.

"It's very thoughtful," she said, "it is…I just…I'd want you…"

"You'll have me," he leaned in to kiss her, "but…if there's a chance I can't be here some of the time…I want you to be comfortable," he told her, "I can take them back…you think I went overboard."

"No," Meredith smiled and pulled him toward hers, and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I love you…and that you want to take care of me and the baby."

"I do," he said, "but…maybe it's a little much."

"We can try it out," she smiled, "we have about twenty four weeks to go… so it could happen, you have to work…and you wont be here."

"You're indulging my hovering and being protective," he smiled, "aren't you?"

"I love you," she said.

"Avoiding the answer," he teased.

"Don't you love me?" she teased him as well.

"You know I do," he said, "even if you think I'm being foolish and…"

"I love you," she kissed him, "and I love everything you're doing, for me and our baby," and then she wasn't able to avoid the yawn.

"You're tired," he commented again, "did you get a chance to rest today…did you nap?"

"I did," she rolled her eyes, somewhat embarrassed by the need to do this, and how everyone at work knew about it, "about fifteen minutes late this afternoon."

"We'll call it an early night," he told her, his hands gently caressing the length of her body as they lay facing each other.

"How about," she smiled, leaning in to kiss him lightly, "if I take another fifteen minute nap and then we can spend the evening together, I don't work tomorrow," she said, stifling another yawn and he kissed her back and then cradled her body against him, and within a few minutes he heard the soft familiar snores.

"Meredith," she heard the now familiar voice filled with laughter, "Derek called me yesterday about body pillows, but I had a c-section, and let me tell you from the email he sent me today, he was not too happy I did not answer him right away."

"Nancy," Meredith laughed at whatever else her sister in law said, "he was so disappointed at my reaction, of course I had no idea such things existed, I told him I was sure they would come in handy," she told Nancy, and shared her last appointment and how she was feeling, and she was comforted by the reassurances that all was progressing exactly as it should. The two women communicated via email most of the time, and the rift in their relationship had definitely began to heal. Likewise, the communication with his other sisters and mother was now a constant in her life, one she had never expected, and now couldn't imagine living without.

Her seventeenth week of pregnancy was not a significant milestone, and other than her friends comments about the baby's developmental progress, which delighted her and Derek, there was no major difference in their lives; Derek still hovered, she was glad they had the cleaning service, she was exhausted by the grueling work schedule, and he was fascinated by her body and the subtle but obvious changes.

The day of their of their fifth month wedding anniversary approached and Meredith wondered if as in the past months he might expect they commemorate it in some special way, but he'd been called in for an emergency surgery right after dinner the night before and forced to stay at the hospital when the patient required a second surgery in the middle of the night, and she'd had an early shift, pre-rounds at five in the morning and a two hour surgery immediately following, which meant they did not see each other until a mid-morning break.

"Hey," she felt his lips on hers, "sleeping beauty…"

"Hey," she smiled back against his lips, then a light nip at his lips, "I missed you."

"I missed you two," he kissed her back, "I love you."

"I love you," she said, and brought his hand to her slightly larger baby bump. "We both missed you."

"She missed me too," Derek smiled, his hand caressing her tenderly.

"He did," Meredith smiled as he helped her to a sitting position, and wrapped her arms around him. "He likes having you around to sleep."

"Were you up?" Derek asked with concern. "You didn't sleep well?"

"I just had to get up early," she assured him, "that's all…I'm glad I'm not here too late tonight."

"I have special plans for tonight," he told her.

"We do?"

"Yes…" he cupped her face, "we do…"

"You didn't tell me," she pouted.

"It's a surprise…"

"Derek…" she said, "sometimes…surprises are not…"

"You'll like this one…"

"Derek…"

"Trust me…"

"I do," she said, "but…"

"No buts…" he kissed her again, making her forget all but his lips on hers, his tongue playfully dueling with hers, making her want him desperately.

"I didn't get anything special…we said…we weren't doing that each month…"

"I didn't get anything either…it's just you and me…and the baby…the three of us," he said, and he smiled as he placed her lips over the two hearts resting right below her neck.

"You're sure…you're not just telling me that…"

"I'm sure," he told her, "I know your car is here, but I'll get you at five, that's when your shift is over right," she nodded. "I'll drive you back tomorrow morning."

"Ok," she said, "I'll see you then…I have surgery at noon, but Dr. Bailey has threatened to ban me from the OR if I don't take a break like this every day."

"Hard to believe," Derek chuckled, "Bailey a mother hen…"

"She's as bad as your Mom," Meredith laughed, "and she calls or emails every day…and expects an answer…she's become an expert at texting."

"You really don't mind," he smiled, "my family…keeping tabs…"

"No," she said, "I don't mind." She smiled, "come on your son is apparently sitting on my bladder."

"You should have a talk with her…" Derek teased her about the ever changing gender of their child, "ask her to be nice to her mommy."

"I don't mind," Meredith told him, surprising and warming his heart, how much the woman he loved had changed, how maternal she'd already become, "it will be definitely worth it."

"We're going to the trailer," she smiled, as he drove to the ferry terminal later that afternoon.

"We haven't been there in a while," he said, "it's ours again, now that Alex found a place. I've missed being there with you," he reached for her hand, "I had the cleaning service out there this week and our things are there…you don't work till ten tomorrow, so we don't have to be up too early."

"This is very special," she said quietly, and brought his hand to her lips, "perfect for today…thank you for thinking of it," she said.

"I thought it would be ok now," he said, a bit concerned, "since you haven't been nauseous…and I was worried about the ferry crossing before."

"I think this is one of those times," she spoke tenderly as she placed her hand on her belly, "I'm going to ask the baby to behave…and he should definitely be able to hear now…almost eighteen weeks," she smiled.

"Almost," Derek smiled as she took his hand and laid it on top of hers, both protective of their baby.

Baby Shepherd behaved on the ferry, pleasing his parents as Meredith would say; being a good girl as Derek would talk to her.

Meredith however, continued to be emotional and sentimental and when she saw what her husband had planned for their evening, she expectedly hugged her husband and cried as they stood in each other's arms and looked over the amazing view from their cliff, as the sun set on the chilly October night of their fifth month wedding anniversary.

They enjoyed the meal he prepared before he drove them back to the trailer, and after she showered and he insisted on helping her dry her hair, he figured he'd be faster than she was, he carried her to bed against her protest, telling her he'd recuperated from his surgery long ago, and gently laid her back against the pillows and made love to his wife.

"Derek," she said softly, as she faced him, "we're almost half way there…"

"We are," he smiled, "and in two more weeks… we see the baby…"

"Do you still want to wait…till the baby is born… to find out if it's a boy or a girl?"

"I do," he cupped her face, "if that's what you want…but if you want to find out, we can do that…I just want you and the baby to be healthy that's all."

"That's what I want too," she said, and she rolled on her back and plumped up the pillows behind her to get comfortable.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, "but it's too early to go to sleep," and then she looked down at her hands as she gently caressed her now visible baby bump and remained very quiet.

"Mer…you ok? Meredith…"

"Derek," she turned quickly to meet his gaze then looked down at her hands, "I'm huge…Derek…in the last few days I can't believe it…I'm huge…"

"You're not huge," he smiled, she was definitely showing, there was no doubt she was pregnant and everyone could see it. "You're beautiful," he said and first kissed her softly, tenderly before deepening their kiss, "you're just beautiful," his hand caressed her tenderly, "isn't she princess," he leaned down to talk to the baby, after kissing Meredith's belly, "I bet you'll agree with me…"

"Derek," Meredith whispered, and he looked up at her immediately, he'd never heard that tone in her voice, "Derek…" she said as he eyes grew wide, "the baby…" her eyes filled with tears, "Derek…the baby…"

"What's wrong," he said, sitting up quickly, "Meredith…talk to me…what's going on…Mer…you're crying…are you in pain…Meredith…"

"She…" Meredith smiled through the tears, "he…" she corrected, "Derek...our baby…" her voice spoke of awe and wonderment, as their eyes met, "is moving…"

_JB29MAY10_


	20. Chapter 20

_A/N -17 May – Believe it or not, one of the purposes of this chapter was for one particular scene between Cristina and Derek; it happens in Mer's kitchen and written long long ago. The other…also influenced by the D/C conversation, deals with the fact on Grey's…and it's story development, I still have not rationalized the need for Rose or the bat incident and since this was my Grey's therapy…you'll see what I mean, and hopefully will be pleased how it's resolved._

_Now…on a rather "amusing" note…I must say…it will be interesting to watch season finale…as when I began this story in June of last year…the premise of Mer finding out she's pregnant and Derek not knowing before being involved in a serious accident…it's something I've thought would happen long before we read it as a possible MD spoiler._

_Thanks to any of you still interested in reading this story. To all of you that have commented on this story, my heartfelt appreciation. Warm regards, Jasmin_

**_Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 20_**

Derek heard the quiet giggles and the immediate attempt to muffle them and smiled.

It wasn't that long ago he'd been annoyed by the lack of sleep when Meredith would spend the night on the phone, dissecting her mother's journals, with Cristina. Now, the sound of her voice in the middle of the night delighted him, warmed his heart and made him realize Miranda Bailey was right; this pregnancy was an emotional roller coaster ride for them both, and he wouldn't change a single minute of it; they both felt incredibly blessed and that was all that matter.

"Jenna," she said quietly, "it's so amazing…these last two weeks, every time I feel a little flutter, it's the most incredible feeling, but you already know that, and so does Maggie…but talking to Nancy made me feel better that everything is normal."

"You know Mer," Jenna said, "you left out Kathleen, since I know you talked to her too…and she told you the same things we did…"

"Except," Meredith told her with a bit of teasing; she'd learn to take his sisters sense of humor in stride, "you waited to tell me you'd already felt the baby move too…but Kat did and that threw me since I was further along than you… so it's all your fault I had to call Nancy too, thank God I didn't go running to Dr. Cameron…"

"If you'd just asked," her sister in law laughed, "I would have told you. But, I knew you'd start to worry if I told you, and you hadn't felt the baby too…it happens sooner, after the first baby, since you already know what to expect, you're more sensitive to it."

"It could just be that you're older," Meredith was smiling. "I've found that makes up for a lot of knowledge," she giggled than laughed at whatever Jenna said and put her hand over her mouth. "Derek's going to kill me, if I wake him at four in the morning."

"Mer," Jenna joked, "if you want to talk about old, the fact my brother is sleeping…and would consider killing you if you wake him…"

"He is not old," Meredith told her, just a tad big indignant and defended her husband, "and what do you do at four in the morning?"

"He's sleeping isn't he," Jenna taunted playfully, "by this time…you should be craving sex all the time, I am…and thank God, Rob's quite up to…"

"Derek's more than up to it," Meredith told her, "in fact…" just as she felt his arms around her, turning her to face him, she smiled and lied. "We've already had sex, and he wore me out…"

"Then why are you awake calling me?" Jenna said, followed by laughter.

"You are not a nice person," Meredith told her, though they both smiled, "texting me to call you when I was awake…because you were on your way to the hospital…and you know I'm up twenty times a night thanks to your nephew…"

"She's awake," Derek took the phone away from Meredith, "you busybody, because…"

"Hi big brother," Jenna smiled at her end, "is she driving you crazy…you can always call Rob to commiserate."

"Hey, I can hear that," Meredith said and snuggled up to her husband.

"Pay attention to your wife Derek," Jenna told him, "believe me…this is as good as she's going to feel. Come the third trimester…she's going to be uncomfortable and moody and ice cream will definitely be better than sex at that time. "

"Jen," Derek ignored her playful taunting, "how are you feeling? Everything ok?"

"Everything is great," his sister said, and they spoke for several more minutes before he would disconnect the call, somewhat abruptly, when Meredith surprised him by shifting position quickly and straddling him.

"Jen…it's four in the morning here…we're going back to sleep…" he said, as one hand reached for the hem of Meredith's top, and the other placed the phone on its cradle.

"If Jenna's right…I may not be able to do this…" she had a mischievous grin on her face, "when I'm feeling like a beached whale…"

"She said that," Derek asked incredulously, "she was so insensitive she said that…"

"Lighten up Shepherd," Meredith smiled, "she was just telling the truth…"

"You two are very odd," he said, shaking his head, though pleased at their relationship.

"We're odd…" Meredith teased, "because…we're both pregnant…and admit to really wanting sex…all the time…"

"Mer…" Derek said as he frowned, "I don't want to think about my sister…"

"Derek," she giggled, "she's pregnant…with her third baby…surely," she teased him, "you know…she has sex…"

"I'd rather," his hands had worked their way to her breasts, "just concentrate…on my wife…"

"Well…I'd rather you concentrate on your wife too…" she smiled, and he did; thoroughly exploring every inch of her body, and before the sun's rays danced on their naked bodies, their cries of pleasure would fill the confines of their bedroom walls, more than once; noise restrictions no longer necessary, with only the two of them in residence.

"Derek," Meredith said breathlessly, "when…" she paused between breaths, "the baby's born…we're going to have to be quiet…so we have to start now…the baby can hear and oh God…what if the baby's traumatized by this…we were …"

"We were," he teased, equally breathless, "very loud…or you were…"

"Ass," she smacked him playfully, and then kissed him

"I suppose," he kissed her back, biting her lip playfully, "it's a good thing…we're the only ones in the house this morning…Mer…you were really really…" he was enjoying teasing her, "loud…"

"It's all your fault," she said equally playful.

"I guess it was," he said, drawing her closer to him. "I suppose I could start thinking of ways and things you don't enjoy as much…"

"Are you out of your mind," she lifted her head to look at him, "the baby will just have to get used to it…" and their teasing joyous laughter, unbeknownst to them, was the prelude to a day that was about to lead them to another emotional roller coaster ride.

"She got laid," Cristina heard one of the Mercy West residents comment and smirk as Meredith and Derek walked up to the resident's lounge holding hands, and then lingered several minutes as he placed his hand on her small pregnant belly and she looked at him adoringly before they exchanged a gentle kiss.

"Listen you ape faced lame brain, "Cristina turned to him, "if you make one more comment about them, you won't see the inside of an OR for a month."

"Mind your own business," the ape faced man answered, "you're one more of us, and sleeping with an attending doesn't make you…"

"You fucked with my wife's head," Alex stepped in, literally getting in his face, "and I should have beaten you to a pulp then…I won't hesitate this time …just keep your mouth shut."

"You don't have any rights," one of the women said, "to speak to him that way."

"Listen pixie face," Alex glared at the woman named Reed, "none of you are wanted here…and you're not going to mess with any…"

"Good morning," Derek said, as he held the door open for Meredith.

"Dr. Shepherd," the other female resident said, "good morning. I'm on your service again today…" Meredith looked over at Cristina and rolled her eyes, the girl had batted her eyelashes at Derek, "and you're the best attending I've ever had…you're a great teacher."

"Thank you," Derek said and turned to Meredith and spoke quietly. "I'll see you for lunch; make sure you eat something before then…something healthy."

"I have fruit with me," Meredith smiled at him, "oranges and banana."

Derek's hand rested on her tiny, almost invisible to others, baby bump and kissed her cheek before he smiled at her and walked away.

Cristina pulled Meredith aside, "Mer…you have to try to disguise things a bit…stop walking around like a flashing billboard announcing you've been sexed and mcdreamied all night long."

"I was," she smiled at Cristina, "I can't help it…"

"Yeah," Cristina said, "you can. I do."

"I can't control my expressions."

"Mer…you really need to, these new crop of idiots are talking about you getting laid…probably taking bets."

"They're what," Meredith looked over to the Mercy West interns, and then surprising Cristina she laughed. "Cristina, who the hell cares?"

"You do." Cristina stared at her.

"Not anymore. Cristina, why bother…everyone talks about us anyway."

"Mer," Cristina asked, "are you feeling ok…this…your reaction. It's not normal."

"Sure it is," she smiled at her friend again. "This is happy… married…pregnant me."

"Poor Shepherd," Cristina mumbled.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"You said something," Meredith said, as she went on to change into scrubs.

"Not important," Cristina signaled to Alex with her eyes, and said something to him as their friend got ready for the day.

"Yang," Alex said, "what the hell am I supposed to say to him. Dude, Mer's in a good mood…get ready for shit to happen."

"Yeah. That's good."

Alex smirked, "maybe she's just happy."

"It's Mer…it's not normal. She bitches at us when we talk about her sex life."

"Shepherd's got it figured out," Alex said, "you'll see."

"I know," Cristina muttered, "I'll be the one to hear about it too."

Meredith's twentieth week of pregnancy was approaching and Alex had indeed been right about his observation several days before; Derek had managed the varying degrees of emotions without any major visible outbursts or consequences.

Meredith and Derek drove in to work together. The day had started much like the last days with a delightfully sensual wake up call; hormones, Derek smiled as he pressed the elevator button, were almost in perfect balance as Cristina greeted them and the three entered the elevator. Hormones, however, on this day, were about to be jolted out of their comfort zone as the doors opened and they exited on the fourth floor and Cristina caught a glimpse of a familiar face in scrubs talking to Richard Webber, and then when he left began talking to one of the nurses at the station.

"Mer," Cristina reacted immediately and began to lead the couple in the opposite direction of the nurse's desk, "we still have time before the shift starts, let's grab a cup of coffee…I need your advice," she lowered her voice conspiratorially, "yours and Derek."

"Cristina," Meredith didn't follow her, "what's with you…I'm actually running late, and I'm not drinking coffee," and placing her hand on Derek's arm turned toward their routine walk to the resident's lounge and he felt her stiffen before he realized what was happening, as he was preoccupied typing a message.

"Dr. Shepherd," Rose said, "it's been a long while. Congratulations to you both," she looked at Meredith, "on your marriage. I heard about your accident, glad you've recuperated fully."

"Thank you," Derek said, and drew Meredith close to him.

"Thank you Rose," Meredith said graciously, "hope all is well with you too."

"You're welcome. I'll see you later Dr. Shepherd," Rose smiled before walking away.

"What …does she mean…" Meredith tilted her head slightly, "she'll see you later?"

"I have no idea," Derek replied with genuine sincerity and walked with her to the resident's lounge and kissed her goodbye. "See you at lunch."

"Yeah…" Meredith said absently and walked with Cristina to the resident's lounge.

"Meredith," her friend said, when they'd changed into scrubs, "you ok?"

"Yeah…I'm fine," Meredith said and brought her hand to rest on her abdomen, and a few seconds later, all but whispered; "he accepted her congratulations…and didn't even acknowledge the baby."

Cristina knew her person best, and she was attentive to Meredith's mood; the glimmer of tears as her friend looked away; unequivocally convinced they'd soon embark on the steepest of hormone induced roller coaster rides thus far, and as the day came to an end, she'd be proven correct.

Meredith, as usual, was joined by Alex, Cristina and Lexie for lunch, and when she looked up and saw her husband enter the cafeteria and stop to talk to a fellow attending and Rose, before he headed her way.

"Hey," Derek leaned down to kiss her cheek, "I'm just going to grab a salad. What would you like me to get for you?"

"Nothing," she said, "I'm fine with what I have."

"You are," he teased her, "not even another dessert?"

"I said that, didn't I?" she snapped, surprising him as he pulled back a bit, and Cristina managed to find his gaze and warn him with a slight shake of her head.

"Sure," he said. "I'll be right back," and he was, and his tray included a slice of chocolate cake.

"How was your day?" Derek asked Meredith as he placed his hand on her arm followed by a gentle caress.

"Probably not as good as yours," she started and glared at him, "since I don't allow people to flirt with me especially…"

"Meredith," Derek said, "what are you talking about?"

"Never mind," she said. "It's obvious you enjoy the attention," and she got up and walked away.

"What," Derek muttered, "was that about? I have no idea what she's talking about."

"Dude, count your blessings. We've all had to listen to her for the past 5 hours."

"About what?"

"You've apparently been flirting with Rose," Lexie said, "and Derek…that is really really low…my sister is pregnant…and you broke up with her…and asked that woman out not five minutes after …and she's pregnant Derek…you're being an ass…"

"Not to mention," Cristina told him, "you apparently refused to acknowledge your child."

"Wait…" he said, just as a group of three women sat behind them, "that is absurd…I haven't talked to her or seen her for months."

"You asked," Cristina told him, "don't kill the messengers."

"Not only did he agree to marry her because she's now pregnant, but he asked for his ex-girlfriend specifically to be in on this one of a kind surgery today and listen, I'd be fawning all over him too… McDreamy can ask for me anytime," one of the women said.

"She's heard that too," Karev told him.

"That's ridiculous," Derek said, "and it's not true. I had no idea Rose would be scrubbing in, but apparently the pediatric surgeon asked for her specifically."

"We believe you," Cristina said.

"Mer doesn't," Lexie said, "you're all about leaning and smiling and …"

"Lexie," Derek stopped her, "you believe I'm flirting with her and…"

"I know you love my sister, but Derek…you really do that…and she's pregnant."

"Your sister," Derek said, and they all heard the catch in his voice, "my wife, is the only woman I even notice …and if she doesn't know that by now…"

"Shepherd," Alex said, "stop…don't listen to these women. Just talk to Mer…we know you're old," he taunted, he'd noticed the change in Derek's demeanor, the fact he too was now upset, "but you must remember something about your ob rotation; hell learned something by osmosis being married to Addison; hormones are your worst enemy right now."

The day went by, his wife determined to avoid him; her family of three dealing with the sporadic emotional outbursts. He spent hours in the OR totally focused on the young child on the surgical table, while his wife sneaked in toward late afternoon and watched him and then left the viewing gallery in tears.

Derek walked in the door that evening and was shocked to see four people playing poker in the kitchen, a variety of liquor on the table to satisfy their taste; beer, scotch, vodka and wine. Their presence immediately concerned him.

"Where's Meredith? What's wrong? Something's happened and nobody told me? None of you have a right to keep anything about my wife from me…Mark," he turned to his friend angrily, "what the hell is going on?"

Cristina reached him immediately and handed him a glass with his favorite single malt scotch. "Nothing's wrong. But, drink this, before you see her."

"Yang," he reverted to the formal address, "I'm not in the mood to play games. What's wrong with Meredith, is she ok?"

"She's put all of us through hell today…" she pointed to the liquor, "we've already had a head start…trust me, you'll need this."

"I don't need liquor to talk to my wife," he said and got a chorus of similar reactions.

"Shep," Mark mumbled, "take our word for it, gulp it down."

"Derek," Lexie said, as Mark put his arm over her shoulder, "she's driving us all crazy…completely…she misinterpreted everything you and everyone else has said today…and honestly…her irrational rambles exhausted even me…"

"Dude," Alex smirked, "she thinks you didn't want Rose to know she was pregnant. Forget the fact we told her she was wearing a coat this morning and there was no way the woman could have noticed."

"I can't believe," Derek shook his head, "she doesn't trust me…still…"

"You have given her enough reasons," Cristina said, and earned a glare from the rest. "What it's true, it's in the past, and he's redeemed himself. But, he got her pregnant…the hormone crap is his fault…and she needs convincing, now."

Derek took a deep breath, "there's nothing wrong with her? Physically?"

"Nothing," Lexie assured him, "just total hormone overdrive."

"I even called Nancy," Mark said, "believe me, we've tried everything today to figure this out while you were in the OR, then she disappeared and came home."

"As long as she's ok," Derek said quietly. "I'll go up and see her."

"Here," Cristina insisted, "have the liquor. Trust us."

"I told you, I don't need liquor to talk to my wife."

Cristina with an unprecedented display of affection hugged him, shocking everyone. "Derek," she pulled back, "you're either a saint or an idiot if you don't drink this, and after today… I want you to know I take back everything bad I've ever said about you. Unless you fuck with her again or glance over at that candy sucking bitch…"

"Yeah, you'd be a dead guy…and dude, Owen will help her…" Alex said as he raised his hand close to his throat and indicated a choking motion.

"Evil spawn," Cristina reached over and wacked him across the back of his head.

"It's the truth," Alex shrugged.

"That's beside the point," Cristina said, and turned to Derek. "Go to her, she should be out of the tub now."

"Thanks," Derek said wearily, "for being good friends to her."

"We're her family," Cristina said, then added as he nodded silently and ran his hand through his hair, "and yours."

"Yang," Mark said, "you surprise me."

"Evil spawn's right," Cristina told him, "you repeat any of this…I'll have Owen…" she said, and following her lead, they all ended up laughing when she too repeated Alex's choking antics.

Meredith sat on the edge of their bed, on his side and the moment he opened the door he was saddened by her reaction as her arms stiffened and she brought them closer together in a brief hugging motion. He walked to her and squatted in front of her, both his hands on her thighs, massaging lightly, and asked her tenderly, "how was your day?"

His question was met with silence and he followed in kind, his hands reaching to caress her folded arms, and she reacted by placing both hands on her lap, her fingers moving over each other so like her mother Ellis. Derek placed his hands over hers, and after what seemed like interminable silence, he heard her quick gasp and intake of breath and then felt the tears on his hands, and immediately brought them to his lips, "Meredith," he whispered, "please…don't cry…" immediately before her broken sob and the release of a dam full of tears.

Derek quickly got up from the squatting position and pulled her into his arms and began to whisper endearments and reassuring words, none of which seemed to matter as he held the quietly sobbing woman. "Meredith…" he caressed her back gently, "please talk to me…tell me what's wrong…I'm sorry…so sorry…if I hurt you…if I did anything to make you sad…Mer…please…" he pleaded tenderly, "please…tell me…why are you so upset? I'll do anything, Meredith, I love you…I'll do anything you need from me… please…don't shut me out…Mer…" he felt her hands tighten around him, holding on to him, as the crying subsided, "I love you…"

"I'm sorry…" he heard her almost inaudible whisper and could finally breathe without the huge weight that had settled on his chest.

"Nothing for you to be sorry about," he soothed her, "nothing at all…"

"I was awful…I've been awful," she said as tears began to gather.

"You haven't been awful," he said patiently, wondering what she was talking about…how to best deal with his wife's emotional outburst.

"I have…" she said, holding him tighter, "and how can you disagree…"

Tread lightly Shepherd, he thought. "I love you…"

"You can't do that," she said, and he knew she meant using I love you to divert attention and lighten the situation.

"I can't love you," he said, "well…I'm afraid…there's no way for me to stop."

"Derek," she whispered, "I'm sorry…"

"Mer…already told you…nothing to be sorry for…apologize for…but you do need to tell me why you are so upset."

"There's…" she hiccupped, "all day…and now…there's four people downstairs babysitting me…of course I have to apologize…"

"Will you look at me," he spoke softly.

"No," she said, burrowing her head in the crook of his neck.

"Why not," he continued to soothe, his hands gently rubbing her back.

"You're going to be mad at me."

"I'm not going to be mad at you…"

"You don't know what I've done…"

"It doesn't matter…"

"I think it will…you'll hate me…"

"Mer," he took a deep breath.

"See…" she said, "you took a deep breath…I know you…you're annoyed…"

"I'm going to be annoyed," he told her, "if you don't look at me," he said and pulled her slightly away from him, his hands never releasing her body.

"That's not very nice," she said.

"What…" he signed on for this, he told himself, and not so long his thoughts had been on the emotional roller coaster they'd experienced and how he would not change a minute of it all.

"Telling me you'll be annoyed with me…"

"I'm only repeating what you said," he tried not to smile or laugh, "you can't …"

"I love you," she said, "remember that…"

"I love you too," he said, and she met his gaze, eyes brimming with tears, "actually…I take that back…"

"You don't love me," she stiffened in his embrace.

"No," he smiled at her, his thumb wiping the tears away, "I adore you…"

"You do…" she sniffled, "still…"

"More than ever before…"

"They're all getting drunk," she told him, "they told me I had driven them to drink today…and they are probably right…"

"Our family," he said, and kissed her lips lightly, "is not being very nice to you…"

"I was awful today…Derek…talk about roller coasters…really awful…"

"What made you feel that way?"

"You…all day I thought you asked for her…for your surgery," she told him straight out.

"No," he said, "I did not. I had no idea about it."

"You didn't…you didn't keep it from me…since you knew how I'd react…"

"Meredith," he cupped her face, "because I know it could upset you, I'd never keep it from you. If I had known I would have told you, and I would have never asked for her…"

"I found that out…that you didn't ask for her," she said, and averted her gaze. "I was in the gallery watching you and the pediatric surgeon commented on how he was glad he could have her on his team…"

"You were…" he said with a hint of sadness, "you still don't trust me…"

"No," she said, and shook her head, "I was there…watching you…needing to feel close to you…I'd been mean and walked away…and petty…feeling jealous…and…"

"Mer," he caressed her face gently, "you don't ever have any reason to feel jealous…and I don't flirt, no matter what Lexie says."

"She said you were flirting, she told you…" she said, and placed her hand over his, "Derek I do trust you…I do…even if you do flirt…"

"I don't flirt…"

"You kind of do," she smiled, "that leaning and smiling…"

"I don't care about other women. I don't notice other women…"

Meredith leaned in to him and kissed him. "I'm sorry…it's just…do you remember when Jenna was here and we talked and I told you she said sometimes she doesn't even understand why she reacts the way she does and it's irrational…and today when I saw her…I know I was totally irrational, but it brought back so many memories. Bad ones…"

"Tell me about them," he said, "but first…did you eat? Do you need anything?"

"No…but I'm not hungry…"

"Mer you have to eat…"

"Let me tell you…" she said to him softly, "please…we'll eat later…"

"Ok," he said, and gathered her in his arms after he sat up against the headboard and she rested her heard on his chest, and began to tell him all she'd experienced in the matter of hours.

"I spent half the day wanting to cry," she told him, "after some dumb nurse said you'd had to marry me…because I was pregnant…and that you'd asked…"

"I heard that," he said, "I'm sorry…you had to go through that…"

"I know it's not true Derek, I do…but…it doesn't help to hear all these things…when I know deep down anyone else would have probably been better for you…not these crappy genes with Alzheimer's and who knows what else…our poor kids…"

"Hey," he lifted her chin, "we agreed…that is not true…Meredith...I don't feel that way, in fact…I think our little one," his hand found her small bump, "is the luckiest baby in the world to have such an extraordinary mother…"

"I know we agreed," she told him, as she covered his hand, "our babies would be extraordinary…because of us…but Derek, the reality of Alzheimer's and you'll have to put up with me…when you could have had her…she's more normal…even if she does have an obsession with candy…"

"I didn't want her…"

"You asked her out," she voiced her insecurities, "right after you broke up with me…"

"Yes, I did," he met her gaze, "and I'm sorry…for that…and so many other moments when I have treated you in ways you didn't deserve, when I have hurt you…when I've shamed everything I feel for you…I'm sorry for every time I made you doubt my feelings for you…for every time your trust in me diminished…but I swear to you Meredith…what I feel for you…what I've felt for you…for so long …there's never been anyone…I've loved as much as I love you…"

"Did you ever tell her…" Meredith looked at him. "I've never asked you…did you ever tell her that you loved her?"

"No," he said. "Because I didn't. I was trying to force a situation to get over the woman I loved beyond reason…but I knew I would never love anyone again…I'd never love anyone as I love you."

"Derek…" she said, "I love you…don't doubt that either…please…even when I get all hormonal and emotional," she lowered her voice to a whisper, "and bitchy…don't ever doubt that."

"I don't…and I won't…as long as you promise me that whatever is going on, whatever you're feeling, you'll come to me first."

"I don't think I'm going to have a choice," she finally smiled and chuckled, "the bunch below was about to kill me."

"Our family," he told her, "just wants to make sure you're happy…and you're ok."

"Derek," she said, "they've been drinking a lot haven't they?"

"Just a bit," he told her, "Cristina tried to force liquor on me…"

"She thought you'd need it," Meredith genuinely smiled, "she was probably right."

"All I needed was to see you…tell you that I love you…that you and now our little one is all that matters to me," he kissed her temple and rested his hand on her abdomen.

"He's being very quiet today," Meredith told him, "probably mad at me…"

"Why would she be mad at you…" he caressed her tiny belly tenderly.

"I think babies may feel things…if I'm upset…and I was all over the place…"

"I think we'll have a very understanding little one," he smiled as Meredith met his lips and kissed him softly.

"Unless, he's being quiet because he's brooding just like his daddy…"

"I don't brood," Derek argued playfully and she wrapped her arms around him.

"Derek," she said, biting her lip in thoughtful contemplation, "you know what I've been craving…"

"What," he said, "just tell me and I'll make sure you get it…"

"I was trying to ignore it…the last couple days…and then today…"

"Mer…what is it…"

"I was avoiding it and then I thought when I saw Rose…it was a sure sign that things were going to be bad…really bad…and then, I went to the gallery and I felt guilty…cause I kind of wanted to kill you…"

"Ok…" he said, unsure now how to proceed. "You wanted to kill me…"

"I wanted lemonade," she blurted out, "and you called me a lemon and I was furious, Derek…really furious with you…I didn't want to ever be reminded of that and your son…he's making me want lemonade…and there was Rose…and even though she had nothing to do with that comment..."

Derek was speechless. He sure as hell didn't know how to react to this, and guilt consumed him over the things he'd said to her that night, one of the darkest nights of their relationship.

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"I don't know what to say…" he said honestly, "I can't ever make up for that…I'll regret those words and the way I behaved that night for as long as I live."

"Derek…" she said, "I watched you in the gallery and I felt so guilty for all those thoughts…because I've forgiven you I have and I really don't want to keep dwelling on them…but now…the baby…is determined to remind me…and I got all dark and twisty…and you don't mind dark and twisty…but…I can't be that way Derek," tears glistened, "I can't do that to our baby."

"I've told you before," he said, and there was nothing between them but honesty, their eyes a reflection of the other's love, "it's not a weakness Meredith…it's thanks to those dark twisty moments…your moments of strength that we're together…that you've been able to forgive me…and our baby won't know any of this…I hope ever…"

"Maybe…" she said, and he marveled at the rationality of her next words, "I want lemonade…the baby wants that…to remind me…we can survive anything…you know…you called me a lemon…and he craves lemonade…and he wants it pretty sweet, not bitter," she smiled slightly at him. "Derek, maybe our baby sees the bright and shiny…not his dark and twisty mom…and brooding dad…"

"Oh God," he shook his head and then gathered her in his arms, "I do love you…Meredith…and all I can do is promise…to do all I can to never hurt you again…"

"Derek," it was her turn to soothe, and her hands she ran her fingers through his hair, "you know…we'll hurt each other again…we just can't keep the other away…we have to talk about things…not run away…like I did today…even though I was feeling guilty…that I hadn't trusted you, because I do…I really do…"

"We just have to get a little better at it…communicating…" he smiled softly at her.

"You think," she smiled at him suggestively and was rewarded with a smile she knew was always reserved exclusively for her, "we have trouble communicating."

"Maybe not," his gaze remained locked with hers as he untied the sash of her red robe and his fingers began gently caressed her stomach, making every nerve in her body tingle, and then parted her robe and his lips followed as they reassured her that all was well.

"I love you Derek," she pressed her lips to his. "I know I'm driving you crazy and we're only half way through this…"

"You're not driving me crazy…" he told her, "anymore than my hovering is driving you crazy…we're just making sure we're taking care of each other…and I'm loving every minute of being able to please you…satisfy your cravings…hold you when you're upset…and when you're happy…"

"Well…" she deepened their kiss, "there's one thing…I'd really like now…but…"

"What's that," his tongue teased hers playfully.

"I want to make love to my husband…but I think we should get rid of our family."

Derek's laughter delighted her, "you want food first," he chuckled, "don't you?"

"Sorry…" she rolled her eyes.

"Hey princess," Derek's lips kissed her belly, as his hands caressed her, "how about you let your Mommy know you're not brooding at all…that you were just waiting for your Daddy to talk to you today…that's why you've been quiet…since I didn't get to talk to you since this morning…"

Meredith's hands suddenly stopped his movements and she lay her hands on his, "she's moving…Derek…the baby's moving…"

"She is," he smiled, "I love you princess…"

"Derek…" Meredith said, as she realized she'd referred to the baby as she, "he's not going to like being called princess…"

"Hey," both hands circled the tiny bump, and he placed another kiss on her skin, "little one…we love you so much…your Mommy and I love you very much."

Meredith and Derek walked in the kitchen holding hands and four pairs of eyes exchanged glances, immediately followed by a blatant disregard for disapproval and Cristina extended her hand toward Alex and Mark, while Lexie giggled.

"What," Meredith said to them, in a somewhat annoyed tone, "were you betting on?"

"You," Cristina said with a hint of a slur, "wanting food before sex."

Derek smiled as his wife pulled him along toward the display of foods on the counter, and he put his arms around her, "sit down," he said indulgently, "I'll get us both a plate."

"You're right Cristina," Meredith smiled as he nuzzled her neck. "We figured, we'd wait till you were all gone, not have to worry about the noise levels and your complaints."

"Grey," Mark said, "I don't think any of us should drive."

"That's fine," Meredith said as she joined them at the table, "there's plenty of room here. But, find earplugs…because I won't have any of your making any comments tomorrow."

"Mer," Lexie said a slight look of disgust on her face, "are you eating all that?"

"What's wrong with it?" Meredith said as she looked at what Derek had served her; Chinese fried rice, lasagna, several pieces of fruit, and first took a drink of the chocolate milk he'd placed in front of her.

"Mer," Cristina said, "you seriously don't see what an unappetizing combination that is?"

"Maybe it's because you've all had too much to drink," she said as she savored the first mouthful.

"Mer," Derek kissed the top of her head before he sat down next to her, "don't pay any attention to them, you can eat anything you want."

"Mer," Alex said, "you keep eating like that and you're going to get fat pretty soon."

"Oh God," Cristina groaned and buried her face in her hands, "you didn't just call her fat, Alex what the hell's wrong with you…today of all days…you can call her fat later…but now…are you crazy?"

"I'm not fat," Meredith surprised them, "and even when I am…you damn well better not tell me about it…"

"What happened," Mark said just a little bit slower than normal, "to the baby being able to hear? You said damn," he brought the glass of scotch to his lips.

"Baby's sleeping right now," she smiled, "lucky for you."

"Derek," Cristina said, "you can still change your mind about that drink. It's another," she paused, counting on her fingers, "eight hours or more till morning."

Meredith reached for his hand and placed it over her abdomen and leaned in to him and whispered, "baby's moving again…it makes a difference… he likes knowing you're close by."

"Mer," Cristina commented, "you two are as nauseating as what you're eating."

"Mer," Lexie smiled at her sister, "you just said the baby's moving…does it really feel like the books say…bubbles…or a little fluttering…it's too early for them to be kicks."

"It feels," Meredith smiled, though they all saw the tears gather quickly in her eyes, "like the most amazing thing in the world…little fluttering…almost like butterflies spreading their wings."

"That's disturbing," Alex said, "real butterflies in your stomach…their larva you know."

"You are an ass," Cristina said, "let her finish talking," and then attempted to whisper to Alex, "do not contradict her anymore today."

"It's ok Cristina," Meredith smiled at her friends, "Derek got me through this last roller coaster ride…I'm sorry, I know I made your lives hell today. But, thank you…"

"That's what family is for," Mark said, and Lexie smiled and kissed him and then, while Meredith and Derek finished their meal, went on to quote all that was currently taking place in baby Shepherd's development, and after several comments about Lexipedia, everyone retired for the night, all of them to sleep, with the exception of Meredith and Derek, though she told him, they should attempt to make love quietly.

"Derek," Meredith giggled as she snuggled up to him, "we failed miserably."

"I thought," he smiled and shifted slightly so she was looking at him, "it was a rather amazing night."

"I meant," she raised her eyebrow at him, "and you know it…about the quiet factor."

"Oh," he teased her, "that's what you meant," he said as his lips captured hers again.

The latest emotional outburst behind them, and it was truly the last major one during her pregnancy; major being classified as lasting over five hours, they were now excitedly anticipating her twentieth week visit to Dr. Cameron.

"Meredith, Derek," Cameron said, when he walked in and saw Meredith already sitting on the examining table. "It's good to see you. Meredith, all looks good in terms of blood pressure and weight gain is normal, do you have any questions for me?" They did and after he'd answered all their concerns, and made his own recommendations about nutrition and recommended dried fruits as snacks, he asked them, "ready to take a look at Baby Shepherd?"

"Yes," Meredith said as she took a deep breath and felt the warmth of the gel on her abdomen, "it's a nice thing you know that you have a warmer for this."

"That's what my patients tell me," Cameron smiled. "Normally, when we do this level two sonogram we see all the organs and we concentrate on one particular part of the baby's development, but, since we have guests…all doctors," he smiled, "when they join us, we're going to look at all of it."

"Sorry about that," Derek said, "they thought they'd actually convinced Mer to have another one several weeks ago," he chuckled.

"I understand completely," Cameron told him, "my wife's family was the same way with our first. Ok, here we are," the doctor smiled, "this little one is doing just fine…look at that Mom & Dad…moving just for the camera," he said as Meredith and Derek held hands and marveled at actually seeing their baby move.

"Derek," she felt the warmth of the tears on her skin, "look at the baby…how much he's moving," and they were mesmerized by the black and white images. "Dr. Cameron, you're giving us a dvd right…we have to send this to Derek's Mom and sisters…"

After they spent a considerable amount of time with the doctor, and heard the baby's strong rapid heartbeat, it was time for their Seattle family to see their baby.

"Dr. Bailey," Cristina said, "what are you doing here?"

"Yang, same thing you are. Though I can't understand how you all have time to…"

"Miranda," Mark said, "you surprise me."

"Dude, it's more like shocking. Dr. Bailey's not mushy and sentimental…and…"

"And you all are?" Miranda questioned. "Grey, don't answer that."

"No," Cristina said, "but, it's Mer's baby…"

"Stop talking," Miranda said, "we don't have all day here. They're waiting for us," she said with a grin as she followed the young woman that had signaled to join her.

"Dr. Bailey," Meredith said, "you're here."

"What is it with you people, Yes, I'm here. Don't forget I knew about this before the rest of you."

"Dr. Bailey," Cameron smiled at her, "lives up to her reputation…she knows everything," and they all smiled.

"Can we get on with this," Bailey said, but smiled at Meredith, "she's pregnant and it's not comfortable lying on that flat surface and having gawkers look at your belly."

"We're not gawking," Alex said.

"You're all familiar with this," Cameron said, as Derek kissed his wife's forehead, they'd taken their time to enjoy watching their baby before they were ready to share that time with the others.

"Cameron," Mark said, "all looks great…look at those ears…and that nose…hope it stays small, not like Shep's…how much weight has she gained?"

"Dr. Sloan," Cameron said as he shook his head, "that's really up to Meredith…"

"Oh come one, we have no secrets," Cristina said and then became silent, and as they were all standing around one side of Meredith, they heard the soft gasp and then saw Cristina reaching out to touch her friends hand. "Mer…look at that…you can see the heart beating…and it's a good beat…" and the doctor turned the volume so they could hear the heartbeat and all reacted with the same type of feelings of wonder when hearing a baby's heartbeat for the first time, not just any baby, but one they all already felt connected to, the first baby in their small dysfunctional family.

"Meredith," Bailey said, "told you…all would be fine with this baby…"

"Yes, you did," Meredith smiled at her. "I'm glad you're here."

"Fist one of my bratty irreverent bunch," she winked at her, "to have a baby…"

"You're just an old softie Bailey," Mark smirked at her.

"Old softie," Bailey said, though she smiled at Derek, "all of you need to get to work. The hospital has patients people…we don't get paid to do nothing," and she walked out with a huge smile on her face. These two had made it, in spite of it all, Meredith and Derek had made it just fine.

"Mer," Lexie said, without taking her eyes of the screen, "the baby's so active…do you feel all of that…"

"Some of it," Meredith said and squeezed Derek's hand lightly, prompting him to take his eyes from the screen and brushing her lips softly.

"Even when you've seen it a hundred times…it's pretty amazing," Alex said, "seeing them like that…twisting…and wiggling…look Mer…that was a pretty strong kick…"

"It was," she smiled, "though it only feels like a little flutter…"

"The baby's still too small," Lexie said, "I mean, she only weighs about nine ounces and about six inches only…" unexpectedly, Mark who'd been holding an instrument in his hand, fiddling with it nervously, dropped it on the tray and the baby was startled.

"Mer," Derek squeezed her hand, and bent down to kiss her, "did you see that?"

"I did," she smiled, "which means sh…he can definitely hear, so all of you clean up your language for real."

"Mer," Lexie said as her eyes watered, "she covered her ears…that was adorable…the baby can really hear."

"Dude," Alex turned to Mark, "you better stop with the butterfingers, or she's not going to let you hold the kid, ever," and they all laughed, and the doctors appointment came to its end.

The weeks that followed would have them all watching the dvd many times over, not as many as the parents, but far too many times for some of them to admit to, and at some point during each day, a comment would be made about the amazing wonder of it all; Baby Shepherd became real to them all, long before the March arrival.

Mark insisted they celebrate that night and that it was Meredith's choice for dinner.

"Mer," Cristina said, as she sat next to her friend at Joe's, "Sloan is paying," she teased, "you should have made him pay dearly for that. He did startle the baby today."

"Cristina," Meredith laughed, "that's not really very nice, it was enough that he offered."

"Lexi," Cristina said, "please tell me you have better taste than your sister, and make him take you to some nice places," and the three women laughed.

"Women," Alex muttered, and took a gulp of his beer.

Cristina was about to make her usual retort when Meredith stopped her, and actually signaled to the two women she considered sisters, to be left alone.

"Alex," Meredith said, "I'm glad you were there today…to see our baby…"

"Looks great Mer…I got to see a lot of them with Montgomery and it's great to see a really health baby."

"It is," she smiled as her hand instinctively went to rest on her belly. "How are you?"

"I'm good," he said, and brought the beer bottle to his lips.

"Have you talked to her?"

"She won't answer my calls. I'm not calling her anymore."

"I'm here," Meredith said, "if you need me."

"I know," he said, "so am I," and uncharacteristically affectionate, got up and kissed her cheek. "I'll be right back."

"Is he ok?" Cristina said when they joined her again. "He doesn't deserve the way she's treated him."

"None of you do," Lexie said. "All of you were family."

"You'd never know it," Cristina said, "the way she left; the way she spoke to Mer."

"What's with the sad faces," Mark's voiced boomed. "We're celebrating."

"Hormones." Cristina explained. "Baby Shepherd induced and contagious."

"What took you so long," Meredith asked Derek when he leaned down to kiss her, and gently rubbed her belly.

"We went shopping," he smiled.

"You and Mark?" Meredith asked cautiously.

"Yeah…" he smiled. "Gifts for the baby, but he won't show me what he got. Apparently," he teased, "it was a team effort."

"Team effort," she leaned into him, "really…"

"Look around," he said as his arm circled her waist.

"Dr. Shepherd," Joe came to their table, "congratulations again on week 20."

"You've heard all about it," Derek smiled, "I take it."

"Lexipedia," Cristina said, "is one proud aunty."

"Lexipedia," Joe chuckled, "not you of course? Who's been seen pacing while waiting for Sloan to get here."

"Joe," Cristina said, "isn't the secret to good bartender, the ability to keep secrets?"

"Are you kidding?" Joe laughed, "I'm just as nosy as the rest of you, and this was not a secret…the 20 week Baby Shepherd sonogram and baby gifts."

"You knew about this?" Meredith asked, and her eyes began to water.

"Dude, look what you've done…just bring her food and …"

"Another round," Joe smiled and placed a glass of chocolate milk in front of her.

"Ok," Cristina told them, "order your food now…so we can see what McDaddy bought."

"McDaddy…" Mark said, "Yang…you can be more creative than that."

"I was," she muttered.

"Mark," Lexie said, "give Mer the baby's gift," and he began to hand her the brown paper bag, but Lexie intercepted it. "Mark, you can't give her a brown grocery bag…take it out of the bag…"

"I figured she could do that…" he said, and took out the baby themed gift bag.

"So," Meredith smiled, before looking in the bag, as she began to remove the pink and blue tissue paper, "this was a team effort…all four of you…"

"You'll see why…" Cristina told her.

"Oh…Derek…" Meredith said as she looked in the bag and took out the first item, and her fingers smoothed over gently, "it's…" she paused to wipe away a tear.

"Grey…come on, you can't cry yet…you haven't even taken it out."

"You can take your time," Lexie said, "Mark…don't bug her."

"Derek…" she turned to him, "look…" she took out a pink baby onesie that had obviously been influenced by Mark. It had Yankees written in white on top of a girly heart design surrounded by flowers and baseballs.

"Turn it around," Lexie said, anticipating her sister's reaction, when she saw the special ordered embroidery that said _Daddy's princess._

"Oh…Lex…" Meredith teared up again, "this is precious…Derek...she can wear this when you watch the first game after she's born…"

"Watch the game," Mark said, "Grey…we got size 3 to 6months…she's coming to New York for her first game…"

"She's what…" Meredith held the tiny garment closer to her, "are you crazy…the baby's not going to a baseball stadium with tens of thousands of people when she's that young."

"That's not young," Mark argued, "Shep…tell her, we've got to take her or him."

"Well," Derek finally said something, equally moved as his wife, "I don't think if it's a boy, he'll appreciate wearing a pink princess …"

"Get the rest Mer…" Cristina told her, and her friend got sentimental again, when she took out the navy and grey onesie with matching blue shorts, and when she turned it saw the specially embroidered number 1 and _Mcdrooly_ above it.

"Oh…Derek…" seemed to be all she could say, as she buried her face in his neck, and cried softly.

"Hey…Mer…come on…you're not supposed to cry…" Alex told her.

"They're happy tears," Derek told them, as he caressed her back, "trust me."

"We didn't want to make her cry," Lexie said, "but I guess we should have waited."

"No," Meredith said, as she lifted her head and smiled at them, "it's perfect timing…it is…we're half way there…before the baby's born…it's perfect…that you did this today…when you saw the baby…thank you…it means a lot to me…to us…"

"There's more in there," Mark told her, and there was; a small infant bucket mascot cap, and larger infant size jacket she was told could be for a boy or girl.

"Sloan wanted to get a small baseball bat," Cristina blurted, "but I told them that was strictly off limits…"

"Cristina…" Meredith warned her friend.

"A baby is too young for that Mer," her friend said quickly.

"The baby," Meredith said, and kissed Derek's lips softly, "will decide what sports they want to play…when they're old enough."

"Grey," Mark said, without fully realizing the significance of the baseball analogy, "Shep's kid has to play baseball."

"I'm sure they will…when they are old enough," Meredith told them, "but…the closest this baby is getting to a stadium in one of these …is to watch it at home."

"Grey…come on…" Mark insisted, "we got to take the baby to New York…"

"I can live with that," Meredith smiled, "and he or she can watch from Mom's house."

"Fine," Mark pouted. "You're no fun."

"It's a good thing you think that," Cristina said, "or Shepherd would kill you," and the group of friends laughed at the friendly banter that ensued, as they waited for their order.

"Derek," Lexie said, "what did you get?"

"I'm not sure," Mark said, "Grey's going to like this any better…than taking my godchild to the stadium."

Derek reached for rectangular box by his seat and handed it to Meredith, "I ordered it a while ago…but picked up today…after your doctor's appointment," he told her.

"I'm sure," Meredith said, "I'll love whatever you got…"

"Mer…" Cristina said, "just open it."

"Derek," she said as soon as she opened the box and looked inside, "oh…Derek…" and threw her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Guess she liked it…" Alex said.

"Not as fun as baseball," Mark said, and Lexie glared at him, "stop with the baseball."

"Ok…Mer…Shep," Mark said, "we're in public…kind of embarrassing…"

"I really have to see what he got that she reacted that way," Cristina said, "though what else is new?"

"Stop talking about us," Meredith kissed him softly before turning to them, "we can hear you.'

"So can the baby," Cristina smiled at her, "probably wondering why rambling mommy stopped talking, and doesn't know it's because she's thinking of doing the nasty nasty with daddy…"

"Cristina," Meredith reprimanded, "that is so inappropriate…"

"Mer…eventually…the baby's going to know where it…he came from."

Derek whispered something in her ear that made her turn to him and smile softly before she cupped his face, "I love you."

"Mer," Lexie said, "come on show us what he got…Mark's already seen it."

"Baby's first tackle box," Meredith said proudly and took out the soft tackle play set, getting even Cristina to smile softly at the first gift Derek had bought for his child.

"Derek," Cristina smiled at him, "it's a great gift," she said of the bait pail and worm that crinkle and the blue squeaky fish, as well as a fishing pole with Velcro that attaches to the worm and the fish, all of which were stored in the Velcro closure tackle box.

"I thought," Derek said, "the baby will be old enough next summer…to just hang out with me…by the lake," he said.

"I think," Meredith told him, "the baby will love to hang out and go fishing with his daddy next summer."

"Thank God," Cristina said, just as Joe arrived with their order, "I was just about to go into a sugar induced coma."

"Dr. Shepherd," Joe smiled, "that is adorable…I wish we'd seen that for the twins."

The rest of the evening was mainly focused on Baby Shepherd, including Derek telling Meredith he had a gift for her too, which delighted her, though she would have to wait till they got home that night.

"Derek," Meredith asked him as they lay in bed, the baby gifts being examined once again, "since you're going to make me wait for my gift…would you mind getting something for me from the closet in Alex's room?"

"You're going to make me get up?"

"Please…" she kissed him.

"I'm teasing you Mer…of course I'm going to get up…what am I looking for?"

"A baby gift bag, on the shelf."

"We got a gift ? From my sisters?"

"Just get it," she smiled, and then called out, "don't look at it either."

When he walked back in and sat up against the headboard. "Who did we get this from?"

"It's from me," she smiled at him. "I was waiting for today too…"

"Guess…" he said, "we were all thinking the same thing…"

"Wanting to make sure…everything's really ok with the baby…and he's perfect."

"She is," Derek said, rubbing her tiny belly gently.

"Your sisters loved seeing the baby…"

"My sisters…" he said, "you already sent them the clip?"

"Of course I did…Derek…they've been waiting…and your Mom…she called me, and we both got all sentimental and cried…"

"You talked to Mom?"

"Do you mind?" she asked, suddenly unsure.

"Of course not," he said, and kissed her softly. "You know what?"

"What?"

"She would love to know you said the baby could stay at Mom's…watching the game…"

"Oh…" Meredith said, surprised he had not mentioned it before. "She told me, she hopes I can think of her that way…not as my mother in law."

"I know," he said, "it will make her very happy…if you think of her as Mom."

"She's been wonderful…" Meredith told him.

"So…" he said, "what's in there?"

"Open it," she said, and handed him the bag, and got teary eyed once again as she saw his reaction to the three items; a white onesie with a bear decked out in fishing gear and _Daddy's future fishing buddy_ written across the top; a pink one that showed a pink fish blowing bubbles wearing a purple crown, and the words _Daddy's Little Fishing Princess_, surrounding it.

Derek took a deep breath, and pursed his lips, "no bats…I promise…"

"Hey…" Meredith cupped his face, "don't you dare…we put that behind us…we did Derek…I just…I thought you'd like to do this…and when I saw your gift…I couldn't help but cry…we were thinking the same way…"

"We were," he said, and gathered her in his arms, "we have one very lucky baby."

"There's one more thing in there…"

"Oh…Meredith…" He sounded like her earlier in the evening, and took out a tiny garment that simply said, _I love my Daddy_, and she wrapped her arms around him, and they spent the next half hour talking about their baby, and all the emotions experienced earlier that day when they had heard and seen Baby Shepherd.

The phone rang startling them both back from their happy baby bubble, "Hi Kat, yes, she's here, but no you can't talk to her," and must have got an ear full, "it's not my fault she didn't talk to you," then obediently passed the phone on to his wife.

"We went out to dinner," Meredith responded to his sister, "and got home a little while ago, I know…" Meredith giggled, "he's not used to me talking to all of you…the same day. Mark already told you? He's the biggest gossip," she said, and spoke to her sister in law for about ten minutes, as she lay on her side, content to have her husband caress the length of her body.

"You know," Meredith turned to him, "I hope…our son looks just like you…especially when he pouts…"

"I don't pout," he told her.

"Of course you don't," she caressed his face, "and I don't ramble," and they both burst out laughing.

"If the phone rings again," he told her, "we're not answering…"

"I can live with that," she said and pressed her body against his, "I want the rest of the night just for the two of us…" she smiled, "and the baby…I've been reminded."

"Baby's moving? Not sleeping?"

"He's had lots of excitement today…had lots of people around," she smiled at him, "and got introduced to a lot of people…there's been a lot of talk about him today."

"Lots of nosy people," Derek teased her.

"Lots of people that love our baby…" she smiled, as she became sentimental, and she draped her arms around his neck.

"We have a very lucky little girl…"

"Derek…you sound so sure…that she's a girl…"

"I'm convinced…" he smiled at her, and she smiled at him, ready to tell him what she thought, "but…don't tell me…I know mother's intuition is usually right…and I really do want to be surprised…do you mind?"

"Not at all," she said, "but…I do mind I still don't have any idea what you got me..."

"It's for both of us…" he smiled at her suggestively.

"Really…" she raised an eyebrow.

"It is…something we'll both enjoy," he teased her.

"It's not nice Derek…" she told him, "to keep your pregnant wife waiting, especially…since there's something I'm really craving tonight…"

"You are," his eyes lit up and his lips were on hers immediately.

"Yes…" she teased him, "ice cream…"

"Ice cream…" he pulled slightly away from her, a grin on his face, "you want …"

"Chocolate ice cream…from Mora's…"

"Before or after you see what I got you…"

"After…so I can really enjoy it…without distractions…"

"I'm a distraction…" he teased her, "you wound me…"

"Derek…" she kissed him hard, "I also want sex…are you going to make me wait for all three things tonight?"

He jumped out of bed and walked out the door, leaving her giggling.

"Ok," he said, as he sat on the edge of the bed, on her side and waited anxiously for her to unwrap the box, and she took out one item, then the others…and looked at him.

"Derek…you can't be serious…" she held three items in front of her. "I'm five months pregnant…there's no way…"

"Mer…keep an open mind," he looked like a little boy, "open the other one," he said, and she unwrapped another gift to reveal a book…"

"Derek…no…it's…Derek…"

"Mer…come on…I talked to Dr. Cameron…I'd never suggest it if I thought it could hurt you or the baby…Mer…please…we haven't done anything like this before…"

"You are determined," she said, "aren't you?"

"Please…Mer… we haven't done anything like this for ourselves ...and he said it's perfectly safe…you wouldn't think twice…if you weren't pregnant…"

"But, I am," she said to him, "Derek…how can you …"

"Meredith…I love you…" he said, as he nuzzled her neck, his lips biting lightly along the curve of her neck, "how about…" she sighed softly…almost the sound of a satisfied moan, as his hands cupped her breast, "you think about it…"

"Derek…" she said, "are you trying to seduce me…into saying yes…"

"Is it working?"

"Probably," she smiled, and her husband did exactly that.

_A/N 17MAY – If you've read the last sentence, you've probably guessed this chapter is not the last, as usual, these characters seem to have a lot to say. After the number of readers and comments to the last chapter I was tempted to just write a summary of her pregnancy and be done, but, then I'd disappoint myself (as a reader), so…one more chapter, which I do have plans to write by next weekend if not sooner._

_JB29MAY10_


	21. Chapter 21

_Thanks to all who are still reading. To those of you that leave comments, because of you, I'm trying to wrap this without rushing it along too much, though in reality this was supposed to be finished several chapters ago. Last night, when this chapter reached 12,000 I realized it needed to be split in two chapters. I'm finishing the rest today, and will edit and post what will be the last chapter (22) later in the week._

_Have a safe Memorial Day weekend…let us pause for a moment in honor of all those whose lives we honor today. _

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 21**

"Mer," Derek smiled in anticipation of her reaction, and his mouth and lips traced the path of a well traveled journey, "come on…" his tongue made contact with her skin, licking then lingering on the swell of her breast, "you want to say yes…" his reward was a soft moan, and then when his mouth found her breast, her response delighted him, and he smiled again; thankful the sensitivity of the first trimester was behind them.

"Oh…" another moan, "yes…" she said, "yes…I'll do it…"

"You will," he stopped suddenly, "you will…really…you'll come…"

"If you stop now," she said breathlessly, "you'll go alone…"

Stated and blissfully fulfilled, she lay in his arms as he nuzzled her neck, his hands caressing the length of her naked body. "Mer," he had a smile on his face, "I got your favorite color…"

"Shepherd," she turned to face him, and looked at him seriously. "I agreed to go, but if you think for one second, I'm going to wear that ridiculously small bikini…and let everyone on the beach make fun of me while I look like a fat pregnant beached whale…"

"I think you'll look beautiful, your body is amazing…and you're barely showing."

"I'll have stretch marks and you'll think it was ridiculous that I agreed to wear a bikini, like those so called celebrities that think the public wants to see them at the beach showing off their pregnant bellies…and," he tried not to laugh at her ramble, "why do you think women think they look like beached whales," she challenged, "because some insensitive husband probably joked about it…and…"

"I'd never do that… Meredith…I can't wait for you to be really showing…Mer…to see that our baby is growing and you're both healthy, and if there are stretch marks, I won't care…not when we're going to get to hold our daughter…"

"Or son…" she corrected him, and in her eyes he saw reflected the depth of her happiness at the idea of holding their child.

"Derek," she leaned into him, "you really mean all that. Don't you? You don't care how my body may change after the baby…and all the side effects…"

"I don't care…all I care about is you being healthy…having an easy pregnancy…"

Meredith rolled her eyes, "no more roller coasters…you're hoping," she teased.

"I love rides…" his eyes were twinkling, "any kind of ride with you," he added suggestively.

"I love you," she said. "And I like all sorts of rides…with you too," she smiled; "in fact…" she raised an eyebrow, as she always did when sex was forthcoming.

"Dr. Grey…" his lips teased hers, "are you suggesting…you'd like another ride…tonight…"

"I may…" she kissed him hard, "after…you bring the ice cream," but they both forgot about that until much later in the night.

"I already arranged for the time off," Derek lay on his side smiling at her, his fingers gently caressing her now visible baby bump. "Mer… think of it…one week…just the two of us…"

"As long," she teased, "as you're not expecting forty eight uninterrupted hours of…"

"What…" he murmured, "you…you don't want…"

Meredith's melodious laughter warmed his heart. "Shepherd…" she cupped his face, "you have to get a sense of humor. If you think for one second…I'm going to let you get away without living up to forty eight uninterrupted hours …of sex…you're dreaming…"

"You're a tease, Meredith Grey…" he said as she kissed him quickly, giggling.

"You've never minded that before," she raised an eyebrow playfully.

"You've never threatened to withhold sex…"

"Derek," she met his gaze, "would you even believe me…if I did?"

"Well…" he said, "it's hard to say…lately…"

"Ok…" she rolled her eyes at him, "you can't count the times I'm a hormonal basket case…I mean…under normal circumstances, do you really think…"

"No," he laughed, "absolutely not…"

"Ok then," she smiled at him, "as long as we have that clear."

"Mer…" he smiled, drawing her close to him, "thank you…I really wanted us to do this…once the baby comes, it will be so much harder…"

"Derek…" she kissed him softly, "you don't expect me to read that book do you?"

"Only if you want to," he told her, "I figured you'd have a lot of questions…so the easiest way to tell you where you'd be getting a lot of use of that swimwear was to show you… we have a long trip ahead of us…there may be some things that you want to do…and I want to make sure we do whatever you want. This time off is for you, to make sure you relax…get some rest."

"Is that," she joked, "why you had the fishing trips already marked on several pages?"

"I did not," he said, kissing the top of her head. "That was Mark…"

"Mark knows?"

"I told you, we went shopping."

"So…you did this, all of it today?"

"I started planning it a couple weeks ago," he told her, "after you last doctor's visit, once we knew everything was ok with you and the baby. I really want us to go away…so I talked to Cameron and he told me there should be no reason you can't travel, but we both agreed we'd wait till your sonogram before making any firm plans."

"That was this morning," Meredith told him.

"I know," he said, "but, I'd looked into it already."

"So…" she said, "you went out and bought a travel book on the Bahamas, a ridiculously small bathing suit…and…"

"Mer," Derek stopped her, "it's from the same place I got your pillows…they had to do a special order and Alice told me…"

"Alice," Meredith stared at him, "you're on first name basis with the sales staff…and special order cause you probably told her I was fat…and wouldn't fit into…"

"You are not fat. The special order was the color. Alice is the owner," Derek told her, "and she was there when I went in the first time and was a great help… we should go there when it's time for you to get maternity clothes, she's …"

"Derek," Meredith whatever, "how old is this woman…did you do your typical leaning and smiling and tilting the head?"

"Meredith," he smiled at her and leaned in to kiss her, "you must know, you're the only woman that inspires all of that…"

"You did not answer my question…how old is she?"

"In her thirties…" he said.

"You're flirting with her," Meredith reacted, "you're just going in there to flirt with her…pretending you want to get things…"

He silenced her quickly, thoroughly, with a kiss that left no doubts she was the only woman he wanted or cared about.

"You can't just…"

"Yes," he kissed her again, "I can…shut you up with a kiss…especially when…"

"I was going to say," she told him, taking him off guard again, "you can't just keep going in there and…"

"She's six months pregnant, with twins…" he smirked, "happy now?"

"Maybe," she rolled her eyes at him. "I guess she saw a sucker a mile away…"

"You're calling me…names…in front of my princess," he teased her.

"Derek," she smiled coyly, "you should know by now…when the roller coaster ride's about to take a plunge…"

"Maybe," he caressed her face, "I need to start calling Rob…"

"Ass…" she whispered, before circling his neck with her arms and kissed him.

"Mer…you really don't like these," he said picking up the discarded one piece bathing suit. "I had them get it in your favorite color…and the other one…in black…and…"

"Derek," she spoke quietly, "how can you possibly want to see me wearing a bikini…with my tummy just huge…"

"Your tummy is not huge…and it's all baby. Mer, that's all I see …and you don't have to wear anything if you don't want…"

"Derek," Meredith glared at him, "you booked us at a nude beach…"

He roared with laughter, "no…I did not…we have a private swimming pool…"

"We do…" she said. "Derek…where are we staying?" she asked, and he began to tell her of his plans and when he saw she was getting tired, baby induced though it was, he told her he'd give her the website for her to look at and make up her mind which type of rooms she wanted.

"You know Mer…" he teased her as his hands roamed the curves of her body as he spooned her, "the way you reacted…if anybody had heard or seen the look on your face they'd think I had given you a very risqué book…proposing very illicit…"

"Good thing they didn't then," she giggled, "we can leave that…for when I'm not pregnant," she said, and they both laughed as he hugged her closer to him.

"Meredith…thank you," he said as he kissed shoulder, and she detected the emotion in his voice.

"For what?" she turned to him and kissed him tenderly.

"Saying yes…to our trip…to this time together…the two of us only, before the baby, trusting that I wouldn't ask you to do anything that could harm you or the baby..."

"I know that," she caressed his face gently, "but…don't get mad at me…I want to talk to Dr. Cameron…get an idea what I can expect the next few weeks…while we're traveling."

"I'll go with you…"

"I do want you there," she told him.

"I love you Mer…" he said, and before his body molded hers, spooning her as was their customary sleep position, she'd almost fallen asleep.

"I love you Derek…" she brought his hand to her abdomen, "we both do."

A week later, Cristina sat on Meredith's bed and scrolled through the laptop looking at her friend's very belated honeymoon destination. "What are you complaining about? Mer…the man has the money to do this…and you already agreed to go, why not just enjoy it?"

"Cristina," Meredith groaned, "that's not the point…I know he has the money, but…he got me bathing suits Cristina…and by the time we get there in three weeks I'll be huge, you can already see how much I've grown from last week," she rested her hand on her abdomen, "and he tells me I'm beautiful and he loves seeing how the baby is growing, but…" she burst into tears.

"Mer…" Cristina said, still not used to her friend's hormonal ups and downs, "Derek loves you…and he wouldn't lie to you. He was really kind of sensitive about it, that tankini top says it has a flared torso that allows for the belly expanding…and I'm sure he really means it Mer…you can tell when he looks at you…and has been caressing your flat stomach for weeks and he gets this smile on his face now…the last couple weeks when you can really tell there's a baby there…"

Meredith cried harder.

"Mer…" Cristina put the laptop aside, "what's wrong…is he being an ass and you don't want to tell me…because if he is, you know that we'll make sure…"

"No," Meredith wiped away her tears, "he's being wonderful…"

"Then why are you crying?"

"Because," she sniffled, "he's wonderful and you're rambling…and being nice and sensitive…and saying nice things about him and for so long you didn't like him or trust him..."

"He loves you," Cristina told her. "I don't doubt that, not for a long time."

"Cristina," the sentimental tears started again.

"Ok…Meredith," Cristina told her, "you have to stop this…it can't be good for the baby…all this crying," she was typically uncomfortable with all the tears, "my nephew…"

"Your…" Meredith hiccupped, "nephew…you're calling him …"

"He is," Cristina told her. "My person's baby is my nephew…or niece."

"I'm sorry…" Meredith told her, "all this crying…I'm tired…and my feet hurt from standing all day…and …Derek's not home…and he usually rubs my back…and feet…and…I miss him…and I know you hate the crying and I can't help it…and Derek knows just what to bring me…even before I know what I'm craving…"

"Well," Cristina said, "if you stop crying…I won't rub your feet, but I would bring you ice cream," and both friends were a bit sentimental, uncharacteristically so for Cristina, right before when Derek walked in and found both women sniffling.

Meredith wiped away her tears, "I love you Cristina Yang…"

"I love you, Meredith Grey…" she said and reached out to hug her.

"Hey," Derek said from the door, holding a bowl of ice cream and a glass of Cristina's favorite poison, "do I need to come back?"

"No," Meredith looked up and smiled, "join us…"

"It's a good thing it's you Shepherd," Cristina smirked, "if we said that to Sloan…you know what he'd be thinking," and both friends laughed, as Derek walked over to sit by his wife, handing her the bowl and Cristina the glass.

"Thank you," Cristina told him taking a gulp of the liquor.

"She really meant to say," Meredith told him, "she was about to kill me…"

"I was not," Cristina said, "but…Derek…you may want a drink of your own. Hormones on overload tonight and please stop spending money on her. If she doesn't want to go on the trip…Owen and I will take it…hell, you gave Izzie your wedding and look what she did. We'll take the honeymoon…and you better believe were not going anywhere, we'll be back in a week and help you deal with Mer's…roller coaster."

"I didn't say I didn't want to go on the trip," Meredith contradicted as she savored the chocolate ice cream, "only that you're spending too much on this…Derek…we can stay in a regular room, not spend one of our kids' half semester college tuition…"

"Are you kidding," Cristina said, "it's worth two years of some universities…"

"Cristina," Derek said, "you're not helping…"

"Oh…right…" she took another drink from her glass. "I have to get going anyway…but keep in mind…Owen and I will gladly accept that overpriced three bedroom villa…"

"Bye Cristina," Derek chuckled as his wife and friend talked for a few more minutes and then he slipped in bed beside her and laid his head right above her baby bump as his hands caressed their baby.

"Did you have dinner?" Meredith asked him, running her fingers through his hair.

"I did," he'd raised her shirt and his fingers softly made contact with her skin, "in between surgeries. Did you?"

"Cristina brought Chinese," Meredith told him.

"Hey princess," Derek smiled as he leaned in to kiss his wife's belly, "you're very consistent…you're still liking Chinese food, which your Mommy used to hate…and I guess you're going to love roller coasters when you get older…"

"It's not safe," Meredith said, "you hear all the horror stories about them derailing…and don't you even think for one minute Derek…I'm going to let you or the baby go on one of those things…"

"They are perfectly safe," Derek told her, "and we have a long while before making that decision…"

"Derek…I'm not going to change my mind…"

"We'll do whatever Mommy wants," Derek said, placing another kiss on Meredith's belly, "won't we little one…anything that Mommy wants."

Meredith giggled, "Cristina's right."

"About what?"

"You're a saint…or an idiot…" she repeated the comment Cristina had made to Derek over a week before.

"She told you that?" Derek smiled as his lips replaced his hand on her skin.

"She did…she thinks I'm a mess…and being ridiculous and you put up with my crying."

He sat up against the headboard and pulled her into his arms, "why have you been crying?"

Meredith rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Don't roll your eyes," Derek told her as he kissed the top of her head.

"You can't see me."

"No, but I know you…" he said and turned her face up to him and kissed her.

"Derek…I was showing her the resort where we're staying, and it's beautiful… but it's so expensive…"

"I can afford it…that's not a problem, and I told you months ago…we'd go there to get married, instead we're going for a very belated honeymoon."

"The regular rooms are lovely and we can stay there…Derek, we don't need to stay in a villa…it has three bedrooms, we only need one…and seriously Derek, it can pay for our child's half year in college…"

"Cristina is right," he joked with her, "depends where this little one's going to school…"

"Well," Meredith smiled at him, "either of our alma maters…we're talking half a year's worth of tuition…"

"Our alma maters," Derek grinned, "you know the cost of these schools…now?"

"I looked," she grinned at him, "and either one of them…the difference is only $ 2,000 in a year…"

"Really," he teased, "so which one should we encourage…since it's cheaper…"

"Bowdoin," she told him, "it's cheaper…"

"Uhmmm…so…your school of choice is a lot expensive taste and here you're trying to get me not to spend money on her…"

"Derek…we don't have to go anywhere so exclusive, any place with you…just the two of us…would be wonderful…you don't have to waste so much money."

"How can it possibly be a waste…I still owe you those 48 uninterrupted hours…"

"That," she smiled at him, "you do…but…"

He silenced her yet again with a kiss. "Mer…we would have already been there, if I hadn't had the accident…it was our wedding and honeymoon combined…Meredith…we gave away our wedding…let's do this…please… I'll make a donation to whatever cause you choose…if that makes you feel better. But we have the money to spend…and I almost died…we almost didn't have this," he caressed her belly gently, reverently, "I almost missed out on this…"

"The villa is amazing…" she agreed immediately, after he mentioned his accident, determined to please him, to let his plans unfold as he'd intended the night of their oife changed, "but...we're going to have to make sure we get full use of all those rooms…"

"Have no doubts," he smiled at her, "and Mer…if we don't have the villa…we can't get our own private pool…and you can wear your bikini…or skip it altogether…"

"That's really the reason," she teased him, "you want to make fun of me…"

"No," he said, as he cupped her face, "I want to pamper my wife…in private…and make love to her every moment I can…just the two of us…"

"Well…" Meredith pressed her lips against his, "not just the two of us…this little one…he's rather excited about his first trip it seems…he hadn't stopped moving since his Daddy started talking about it…"

"Really…" Derek was delighted, "she wants to go to Bowdoin…too…"

Meredith's melodious giggle made him smile and drew her close to him. "You think that's what it means…all the acrobatics going on in here…" she placed her hand over his.

"Absolutely." He smiled at her, "isn't that right princess," he kissed her belly once more.

"Derek," Meredith entwined their fingers, "you know what I'd really like…tonight…"

"Coffee ice cream…" he teased.

"You…" she told him, "and me…" and her eyes twinkled with mischief.

"Dr. Grey…you're five months pregnant…and you're suggesting…"

"Uhmmm…one more…thing…" Meredith smiled at him, "to add to our favorite…"

Derek captured her mouth before she finished, and before the end of the night, their list of favorite things became longer indeed.

Meredith's pregnancy during the second trimester, unlike the first days after his accident and subsequent morning sickness, was thankfully free of any complications. The night of their sixth wedding anniversary coincided with week twenty two and Derek planned a special evening for them on their land; dinner by candlelight on their cliff and then making love to his wife in the safety and warmth of the trailer.

Meredith and Derek surprised each other with a gift that evening; both poignantly emotional and sentimental.

"Best…" Meredith said breathlessly as she lay in her husband's arms, "six month anniversary…night…ever…"

"Keeps getting better…" Derek captured her lips for a deep longing kiss, "and better…"

"It does," she agreed, "even…when I have this not so little bump in the way…"

"I love the little bump in the way," he assured her.

"I got you something…" Meredith told him, brushing his lips with hers.

"So did I…sort of…" he said, suddenly nervous.

"Derek…what have you done now…you have that look on your face…and I loved the flowers and the chocolate truffles were to die for and we're going away Derek…there was no need for anything else…"

"It's…I just…I hope you like what I did…it's really not for our anniversary…"

"Ok…" she said, "what is it…" and she suddenly had a look of discomfort on her face.

"Mer…what's wrong?"

"Nothing…baby moving…he's getting stronger…kicking harder…"

"You're sure," he asked with concern.

"Yes," she smiled. "I'm sure," she told him, but kept the conversations with his sisters from him; certain he'd overreact if he knew she'd been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions.

"It's not for us really…" he said, and she was unsettled by his nervousness, as he handed her an envelope and she frowned, and then as she read the letter, her eyes filled with tears and she did nothing to keep them from sliding down her face.

"Derek…" she said simply as she read the letter again, and she met his gaze, "you…"

"Mer…I didn't want to upset you…I'm sorry…"

"Don't…" she pursed her lips to keep from crying, "it's…thank you…"

"I wasn't sure…if she'd have liked her name used…so…"

"It's perfect," Meredith leaned into him, kissing him softly; the letter lying between them. "I love you," she said, as he kissed away the tears. The letter from the Alzheimer's Foundation was addressed to Dr. Meredith Grey; stating that a donation on your behalf has been made in memory of Baby Shepherd's maternal grandmother.

"It's a recurrent gift," Derek explained of the very generous donation, "once we know her name…or his; we'll do this every year from our children, in memory and honor of their grandmother."

"Derek…it's…that's you don't have to…it's so much…"

"It's," Derek cleared her throat, "but a token amount," he said of the ten thousand dollars, "compared to the priceless extraordinary gift she made possible for me to have in my life. Meredith…you…are my priceless treasure."

"Thank you," Meredith said again, emotional tears impossible to contain and overwhelmed by her husband's generosity, "it's just what she would have liked…the privacy."

Derek held her for a long while before she hugged him tightly and then reached for a small wrapped box. "My…gift…is very insignificant…compared to yours…but, I thought you'd like this…a fun gift."

"Oh…" Derek said, his eyes glimmering with tears, "but you're wrong…because you see…this just means…that not only do I have you…in my life…my extraordinary wife…my soul mate…but…we have a tiny…precious miracle on the way…and that Meredith…nothing…nothing compares to that…"

"You really like it…"

"I love it," he smiled, as he held several baby items in his hands; a grey tiny shirt with Dartmouth across it and infant size hat and mitten set and two small baby outfits from Bowdoin, a pink and blue onesie.

"They didn't have anything for six months…other than the onesies…the other stuff was for 12 months," Meredith said, "and I wanted him…or her…to have something to wear right away…and since I'm sure…" she rambled on, "we'll be at your Mom's for Christmas…"

"You're thinking," we choked up again, living up to Miranda Bailey's prediction of the mutual emotional roller coasters for these two first time parents, "we'll be home for Christmas…"

"Not this year," Meredith said, "but the baby will be nine months old next year…and the baby should meet all the cousins and have a Shepherd Christmas…and she'll need…the mittens and hat…and…"

"She'll need them," Derek smiled, "it's cold in December…"

"He…" Meredith smiled back at him, correcting herself, "will need them…"

"Meredith…" he whispered, his lips on hers, "I love you so much…"

"I love you just as much," Meredith whispered back, and their lips met, and yet once more their lips and caresses spoke of their love and commitment; the one that had long ago been fated for lovers worthy of legends; the one whose insatiable passion and desire kept them up to the early morning hours of a new day.

The weeks that followed settled into a somewhat normal routine; if you could possibly consider Cristina Yang reaching out to lay her hand on Meredith's stomach and smiling, every couple of days normal; as would the rest, Lexie and Alex and even Mark would every once in a while reach out and mention the baby, and the stage of developmental growth. Lexie, however, was the only one, other than Derek that would talk to the baby.

"I'm trusting you," Meredith said, "completely, I think, that these contractions are nothing serious," and that was the moment that Derek walked in their room.

"Contractions," he repeated as he rushed to her side, "Meredith…since when…have you called the doctor…Meredith…why didn't you call me…what's wrong…how far apart, it's too early Mer…you're only twenty four weeks along…it's too early…"

Meredith smiled at him, "I'm fine…"

"Oh…God…" he raked his fingers through his hair, "that's bad…fine is really bad…"

"Here," she gave him the phone, "speak to the doctor…"

"You had to call the doctor…oh…ok…" he took the phone and breathed in deeply. "Dr. Cameron…" Meredith saw the look of shock on his face and tried to keep from laughing, she after all had the advantage of a week's worth of talking to his sisters and Carolyn.

"Derek…" Meredith said gently, "I'm ok…it's perfectly normal…"

"Nancy," he said, "you are not a nice person…"

"Of course I am," his sister said, "ask your wife…I've been talking to her over a week, and she was right, you'd freak out if she told you she's started to have Braxton Hicks contractions…so she did the smart thing, she spoke to Cameron and to all of us."

"So," Derek said after putting the phone down, "you didn't think to tell me…"

"Derek…" Meredith soothed, "you're worse than I am…freaking out over everything, and I was on the phone with Jenna the first time it happened, and we talked about it…and I went by to see Dr. Cameron…and all your sisters told me it was normal, and I knew you'd react this way," she told him, as in the past few weeks while she became more relaxed over her pregnancy he was on full hover mode, so she'd kept the sporadic symptoms to herself, and only told him of all the times the baby was moving.

"When did this start," he asked her, and she knew he was upset with her.

"Last week, actually right before our six month anniversary…"

"Were you going to tell me?"

"Yes," she soothed him, kissing him softly, "it's in our baby books…and we'd have gotten around to reading about it…together, except we both worked horrible hours last week," she smiled at him, "so…we can read it tonight. I was talking to Nancy…so I could reassure you…because I knew you'd react this way when you found out…but Derek…our little…" she paused and smiled, "Baby Shepherd is growing along just fine…and the stronger those little legs and arms get…the sooner you'll feel it…because this baby is really moving a lot…especially when Daddy talks to him…"

"You're trying to make light of it…that you didn't tell me…" he pouted, "and I want to know everything…"

"I am," she admitted, and kissed him again, "is it working…" she deepened their kiss.

"Probably," he said, "but…it wasn't nice of you…"

"I know…" she told him, "I won't do it anymore…I promise…"

"Right…" he smirked, "just my sisters and Mom…and Cristina and Lexie."

"No," Meredith told him, "I promise…only your sisters and Mom…since they know what they're talking about, the others have no clue," she caressed his face.

"I love you," he shook his head, and kissed her, "even when you're manipulating me."

"It's not me," she smiled at him, "it's the baby and hormones…"

"Convenient," he chuckled. "Baby Shepherd gets the blame…"

"Only this time," Meredith smiled at him, "forgive me?"

His reply was a tender loving kiss and then she settled comfortably in his arms, as she held a book in front of her and he began to read about her just completed twenty third week of pregnancy.

"Mer," Lexie met up with her in the resident's lounge, one afternoon. "How did your appointment go?"

"Everything's great," Meredith smiled, "baby's heartbeat is strong, and I can feel him more and more…I can't wait till Derek can feel him…"

"Your weight…and blood pressure," Lexie asked, "the baby's about a pound and a half now, and you should have gained at least twelve pounds …"

"Thirteen," Meredith rolled her eyes, "if you must know…"

"That's great," Lexie said, "and Mer…the eyelids and brows are developed and he should be moving all over the place…"

"He is," Meredith told her, "he especially loves to hear Derek talk and sing to him…"

"Derek," Lexie got a little teary eyed as did her sister, "sings to him?"

"Don't tell him," Meredith said, as she placed her hand on her belly, "but, it just…makes me love him so much more…how he is with our baby…" she smiled as she thought of the nights that Derek would come home and as she complained of dry skin, rub lotion all over her body, which inevitably led to lovemaking.

"Oh Mer…" Lexie said, as she reached over and placed her hand on her sister's belly, "thank you for sharing the baby…all that's happening…"

"He knows he has lots of people that love him…especially his Aunt Lexie…"

"You know Mer," Lexie told her as she felt Meredith's hand over hers, "this baby is going to have a lot of us fighting over her…even Cristina I think is warming up to the idea of baby sitting."

"Probably," Meredith smiled at her sister, "but I get the feeling she's going to have to get in line behind you and Mark…"

"Oh absolutely…Mark's already told Derek…we get first baby sitting duty, since it's his godchild…which seems fair…but I guess Cristina will be the godmother…so I'm not sure…but Mark's the godfather…and I'm the aunt…so maybe that means…"

"I'm thinking…" Meredith told her, "that Cristina would be just fine…if you get the first baby sitting duty…"

"I'm going to be there," Lexie said, "when the baby's born…I mean when you go home…I plan on helping…if you want me to…I mean…"

"I want you there," Meredith said, "believe me…I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Derek," Meredith smiled as he talked to the baby later that night, "I think you're going to kill me."

"Hey princess," Derek spoke to the baby, "what do you think? Is Daddy going to get mad at Mommy?"

Meredith giggled, "he's answering I think," and grabbing his hand pressed it against her stomach, "can you feel it …"

"No," he said, and she saw the pouting lips.

"I'm sorry," Meredith said, "I'm sure you will soon…all the books say it can happen anytime now…"

"At least," he said, as she moved his hand to follow the baby's movement, "we know she likes my voice…" and he sang a favorite nursery rhyme.

"Derek," Meredith said again, "remember what I just said…about you killing me…"

"Uhmmm…"

"I told Lexie you sing to the baby," she blurted out.

"Did you also tell her I sing off key? Because that's when I'd get a little…"

"You're not mad," she said, "really…"

"I'm bonding with my little girl," he told her, "why would I get mad?"

"Because," Meredith said, "they're all gossips…"

"She won't say anything…"

"Derek…she's with Mark…"

"He's the godfather, he knows better."

"If you say so…"

"Mer," he kissed her stomach and then kissed her lips, "I don't care…"

"I love you," Meredith told him, "we both do…he wants you to know, since he's kicking up a storm."

"I love both of you too," Derek told her as he reached for the foot cream on the nightstand and began massaging her feet, and they spent the rest of the evening discussing their earlier morning appointment and Dr. Cameron's reassurances about the baby's development and Meredith's overall clean bill of health in regard to their travels.

Thanksgiving morning had coincided with Meredith's twenty fourth week of pregnancy, and she was on duty at the hospital given their upcoming trip the following week. Unlike their first Thanksgiving as interns, when the close knit group of five had been off, Cristina and Alex were also working.

Derek, who was not scheduled to work, went in anyway to spend the day close to his wife, insisting he wanted drive her to and from work, especially since there were many crazy drivers on the street that day. He joined her and their friends for a typical cafeteria turkey dinner, though she had no idea he'd made arrangements for a catered meal that evening; their first Thanksgiving together as husband and wife, and that they'd be joined by their Seattle family.

"Mer," Jenna said to her sister in law who was comfortably seated on Derek's lap, in his office late that morning, "are you all packed?"

"Nothing to pack," Meredith giggled, "I told you…Derek's idea of this vacation is that we're going to be wearing bathing suits only…" she knew that wasn't true, but couldn't help teasing her husband, "and he's a dead man if he dares to suggest I'm fat…"

"Jen," Derek took the phone away from his wife, "she looks beautiful…amazingly so…and I can't wait till she's heavily pregnant with our baby…and we get closer and closer to meeting our daughter."

"You've been talking to Rob," Jenna laughed.

"Have you?" Meredith asked him, as she could clearly hear the conversation with Jenna. They'd already talked to his mother and sisters over the last thirty minutes, and Jenna wanted the last few moments with them.

"He hasn't," Jenna told her, "Mer, believe me, all those overly sentimental thoughts are all his…"

"Jenna," Meredith said, "has Rob felt the baby move yet…because this little one is kicking up a storm but Derek hasn't felt him yet."

"It may be too early," Jenna said, "and no…this baby girl still has three weeks to catch up with her cousin."

"You see…" Meredith said to Derek, and putting the phone on speaker. "Rob hasn't felt the baby move either…"

"Derek," Jenna told him, "wait till you do…and when she rolls…it will be amazing, but Mer may not be feeling that either, she's too little."

"Jen," Derek smiled, "you think we're having a girl too?"

"I do…and Mom…but the rest, they're stocking up on neutral things for the shower."

"The shower…" Meredith said, "what shower…you got us things already…and you sent me the list of what we'll need."

"Meredith," Jenna laughed, "you're having a baby…your first baby…of course there's going to be a shower, in fact…we wanted to talk to you about it, or at least I did, because I won't be able to travel for much longer and want to wait as much as we can so it's not too early for you…but I have to be there…"

"Jenna," Meredith said, "that really means a lot to me, but it's a long trip…and Christmas is around the corner…and then you'll be in your third trimester and…"

"Mer…I'm going to be there, I've already talked to my doctor and to Nancy, and I've been a week late with both girls…so I'm thinking we can come out the first week in February you'll be 34 weeks and I'll be 31…which technically still gives a good three more weeks when it's still perfectly ok to travel…"

"Jenna…are you sure…I mean…"

"Yes," Jenna said, "and I'll be traveling with my very own OB and two doctors."

"You're all coming? For a baby shower…" Meredith whispered, they'd talked about it before they left, but it was overwhelming to her that this family would actually do this.

"Of course we are…it's not just a baby shower…it's yours…the first Shepherd baby in a long time Mer…my big brother finally found happiness… with you…" Meredith heard the sniffles just as her eyes began to water.

"You're all coming…they all know? They didn't say anything…"

"They knew better not to…I'd probably have cried if I wasn't the one to tell you," she said, and both pregnant women laughed. "Derek, you better warn Mer about Aunt Pat, she's coming with us." They'd spoken for several more minutes, with Jenna telling her to relax about the baby registry; they'd help her and could talk about it when they got back from their Bahamian honeymoon, but that she and Derek did have to decide on baby furniture and themes for the nursery.

"Theme…for the nursery…Derek…I'm not sure I'm ready…oh God…and we have to go pick out furniture and what's the best ones for the baby and safe…and…."

"Hey," he wrapped his arms around her, "we'll take care of it…when we get back."

The rest of the day proved Miranda Bailey right, as over and over the stupidity of the human race manifested itself with varying degrees of injuries, and Meredith was exhausted when they drove home, unable to get in her usual fifteen to twenty minute nap.

"Derek," Meredith asked when she noticed the cars at their home, "what's going on?"

"Thanksgiving dinner," he smiled.

"Thanksgiving dinner…" she looked at him, "doesn't that require cooking?"

"It does," he smiled at her, "someone else cooked…"

"Not Cristina," she noticed Owen's car, "surely…"

"Not Cristina," he laughed. "Trust me…"

They walked in the house to a beautifully set table for eight. "When…did you…"

"Catered," he wrapped his arms around her, resting on her baby bum, "Lexie volunteered to set everything up…"

"Our first Thanksgiving," Meredith sniffled, "married…and…family…"

"Our first of many," he nuzzled her neck, "I love you."

"I love you too," her hands rested on top of his. "Don't we baby," she smiled as their baby performed acrobatics, "we love your daddy."

"Mer," Alex said, as they all sat down to dinner after Derek had steamrolled Meredith into taking a long bath and nap before it was time for dinner, "just don't make us go around and say something about what we're grateful for."

"What are you talking about," Meredith asked.

"Never mind," Alex said, "forgot you were raised by wolves," and immediately he felt the smack to the back of his head.

"Shit, Yang…that hurt."

"It was meant to," Cristina glared at him.

"Alex," Owen spoke up, "nobody has to do anything. But, before we eat on Thanksgiving, it's customary…"

"Owen dear," Mrs. Hunt said, "leave the boy alone. It's enough sometimes, just to be together," she smiled at Cristina, grateful to have been included in the evening celebration, to be part of her son's life.

"Mrs. Hunt," Derek said, "would you like to begin and say Grace?"

"Dear," Mrs. Hunt said, "I think…you should…it's your home."

"Please," he said, overwhelmed by the fact he was sitting with his pregnant wife, in their home about to share in the Thanksgiving meal, "if my Mom was here, she would have the honor," and with that the bond of friendship with Owen was strengthened, as his mother said the traditional prayer and added her own thankfulness to have her son safely back home.

"Derek," Meredith gently squeezed their joined hands, and spoke softly, her gaze locked with his. "I'd like to give thanks for our friends and family here tonight…for this first year of truly knowing what it means to be part of a loving…amazing family…all of you here in Seattle…my sisters, Alex, our baby's godfather…" Cristina and Lexie wiped away stray tears, "and Derek's family back east…and most of all…for the precious gifts of life we had this year, my husband's…and our baby's."

Derek pursed his lips, containing his emotion, his eyes never leaving hers as he brought her hand to his lips.

"I'm grateful," he cleared his throat, "as Meredith said for our friends and family here and back east, and most of all…for my wife…that she found me worthy to love…to forgive me…marry me…she is my priceless treasure…as is our little one…for a second chance at life," he said, and Cristina, Lexie, Mark and Alex knew he spoke of not just of his recent brush with death but hers, and that his second chance at life had begun the day he met Meredith Grey.

"Amen," Mrs. Owen said, followed by everyone at the table, where everyone had been emotionally touched by the poignancy of the moments. This night was but a first, of many, that in the years to come that would find the same group of people gathered together in celebration.

_A/N - 5/31 - Based on the views since this was posted last night, can't tell you how incrediby disappointing the lack of comment are. Selfishly inclined to forgetting the 8000 words of the next chapter and not give up any more hours of the holiday weekend. If you've read, and have any interest at all in the next chapter, even one word as a comment is greatly appreciated. Thank you._


	22. Chapter 22

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 22**

"Derek," Meredith moaned, "oh…that's perfect…that spot…right there," she said as her husband massaged her back the night they were leaving on their official honeymoon trip, it was also the beginning of her twenty sixth week of pregnancy.

"Do you want to bring your pillows along," Derek asked her, since both his choices had now become a much used accessory, with Cristina often joking they were better than Derek to alleviate back pain.

"Are you kidding," Meredith giggled, "we'd need a suitcase just for the body pillow...and I'll have you…all the time."

"Yes," he kissed the back of her neck, "you will."

"Derek, don't forget the small one though, for the plane so I can place it behind me."

"I already have that in my carry on…along with your books…"

"I told you I could carry those…"

"You're not carrying anything," he kissed her again, "you've got plenty to carry with the baby's weight all day."

"Are you calling me fat," she said smiling, which he could not see, in anticipation of his reaction, "while you are expecting me to spend practically a week naked…"

"What…of course not…Mer…come on, you know that's not what I meant…" he paused and turned her to face him. "Wait…you're planning on spending the week naked," the unmistakable McDreamy smile was alive and well, "really…"

"Derek," she giggled, "I really love you."

"I really love you too," he kissed her lips.

"Derek," she snuggled up to him, "we have a couple hours…before we leave for the airport…you know what I'd really like…"

"Mer," he told her, "we're all out of Mora's…we agreed to wait till we got back…"

"Not that kind of craving…" she smiled suggestively.

"Chinese," he teased her now, as his hands began to roam her body, certain of what she craved, "still?"

"Uhmm…" she pressed herself seductively against him, "I was thinking more along the lines of…"and her lips found his, her tongue slipping playfully in his mouth, and before long, their mutual moans of pleasure echoed through their bedroom walls.

Surprising them both, a sign of her true physical exhaustion, Meredith fell asleep immediately after take off, and almost five hours later, right before landing Derek kissed her awake. Their layover in Atlanta was three hours, which gave them an opportunity for her to take several walks, have breakfast and relax in the first class lounge before the next flight to Nassau, which he'd made sure was not a small propeller aircraft, hoping to avoid any possible air sickness. It would be almost twelve hours later after they left Seattle when they arrived at the One & Only Ocean Club, another forty minute ride from the airport at Nassau.

"This," Meredith turned to him, as she walked out to the terrace perched above the beach, where their private infinity pool looked unbelievably inviting, "is beautiful…"

"Looks even better than the photos," Derek said as he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, his chin resting on the crook of her shoulder, "the sky and water just blend in with the pool…hard to avoid thinking about how dreary Seattle really is in November."

"Derek…it's wonderful…look at the water," she said, as she pulled him along to look over the beach, "like turquoise…and the sand…so incredibly white…"

"I'm glad you approve," he wrapped his arms around her again.

"I can't believe," she leaned against him, "I considered not coming…thank you."

"You have to be exhausted," he said, as he felt all her weight against him, "why don't we order lunch…take a nap…"

"Oh no…" she turned to face him, "that pool…is very inviting Derek…maybe a swim…and then…we nap…" she smiled at him.

"If you're sure."

"Oh yes…" she said, "and make sure…that twenty four hour butler and our housekeeper don't come back here," and began carefully discarding her clothing and placing it on top of the teak lounge, leaving Derek stunned as she walked to the edge of the swimming pool and carefully stepped down to the first landing, then the next before gliding through the water.

"Do you want company?" he asked her.

"Only after you make sure we're not going to be disturbed," she smiled at him, and within minutes Derek joined her and the warmth of the afternoon sun was the prelude to unforgettable blissful moments.

Their honeymoon was a week's worth of solely pleasing the other; a week's worth of talking about their plans for the future. One day, an unexpected midday thunderstorm had them trying out the second bedroom and after making love, hours of talking about old insecurities and doubts and painful childhood and recent memories left the past almost completely behind.

Lazy mornings were spent indulging in each other's body, coming awake to light kisses and caresses, where nothing was rushed as Derek took care of his wife and the baby she nurtured, though waking up to an early morning quickie was still among their very favorite things; days of late afternoon walks on the beach or at any hour of the day followed.

"It's a really good thing," Meredith joked one afternoon, after they got out of the ocean dripping salt water, and after drying off walked holding hands along the white pristine sand, "you bought this with a tankini top, there's no way I would be exposing our baby bump to the entire world." Derek chuckled and his hands automatically covered their baby. She loved when he did that; her husband's obsession with her ever growing bump was another matter altogether, as they spent hours basking in the Bahamian sun, in the privacy of their terrace and pool, and she told him that the bikini had come in handy as well, though mindful of the sun's equally damaging exposure, they spent a lot of the time under the covered terrace outside their bedroom door.

Late on the third morning they ventured to Atlantis, which claimed to have the world's largest marine habitat and had a private behind the scenes tour that included hand feeding some sea creatures; Meredith was tempted, but despite reassurances of the gentleness of dolphins, opted out of the opportunity to swim with them.

"Derek," she told him, "maybe one day…we can do this, swim with the dolphins…with our kids," and he loved her even more, as she protectively placed her hands on her very visible baby bump. "I don't want to take any chances." After lunch, because Meredith was starving, at what they considered an excessively touristy over 3,000 room renowned hotel, they spent a bit of time at the casino, trying to decide if they would come back for some serious gambling that evening, but both agreed they preferred the quiet and privacy of their resort.

The next day, they drove to Nassau, stopping along the way at a beautiful beach for a picnic lunch and swim, and then took a brief stroll through the Straw Market where all they found worth buying was a tiny t-shirt for the baby; followed by their Frommer's book recommendation they took a walking tour, and in spite of the sometimes less expensive items found in the duty free city, neither were inclined to shop and headed back to the privacy of their villa.

Later that night, Derek arranged for a private dinner on the beach, which included the expected hurricane lamps providing illumination and romance; the sounds of the nearby Caribbean music carried by the wind, had him playfully asking her to dance and she gave in to the simple pleasure of swaying to soft music in her husband's arms as they felt the sand beneath their feet. They returned to the villa, and after making sure she was comfortably settled on the thick cushions of the teak lounge, made love under the stars.

Meredith insisted Derek sign on for a half day of fishing, something she knew he would enjoy and while he did she went to the spa; they went snorkeling together a couple of times and every afternoon enjoyed the strawberries she'd come to crave along with a kiss that tasted of champagne; Derek would take a sip of the exquisite selection and simply brush her lips with his.

Meredith had never felt better during her pregnancy and she enjoyed every moment with Derek, knowing it would be the last time it would be just the two of them alone together, because, as the years went by, even though their children would be left in the care of family, they would still worry about them, while this time, their tiny source of joy was safely being nurtured and with them at all times. They indulged only in each other, though Derek played golf very early one morning while Meredith slept.

"Derek," Meredith called out and frowned when she felt the absence of her husband's warm body next to her, "Derek…" she said a little louder, when she finally got up and went in search for him, "Derek," she was frowning, "are you here?"

"What's wrong," he appeared almost immediately dripping water as he'd hurried out of the shower when he heard the tone of her voice.

"Nothing," she said and smiled, "now that I found you," she walked toward him an appreciative look on her face, "do you mind…if I have my way with you," she pressed herself against him, slightly pushing him back toward the outdoor shower they'd enjoyed more than once during their stay as they'd relaxed in the secluded sun deck.

"Only," he wrapped his arms round her, "if I can have my way with you too…"

"Absolutely…"

"Lead the way," he chuckled, "or push the way…"

"Oh crap," she said suddenly and pulled away from him.

"What..." he said, and then teased her, "I thought we couldn't say that…"

"This is ruined," she looked at her now soaked through silk nightgown, "your sisters will never let me live it down…this is expensive crap Derek…" she said of the exquisite La Perla lingerie that had been a gift from his sisters.

"They don't have to know…" he laughed, and pulled it off her, and led her carefully, mindful of the wet marble floors, to the shower. "So…Dr. Grey…want to have your way with me?"

"Oh…yes….Dr. Shepherd…over and over again…" he smiled at the desire evident in her eyes and brought his mouth to hers, then began a determined descent to her breast, her moan enticing him further as his mouth covered her breast, and he pushed her gently against the shower's wall, his erection pressing against her, his hand traveling down her thigh, his fingers following a well traveled path, but then he paused.

"Mer…you ok…is this comfortable for you…your back…"

"Don't you dare stop," she whispered breathlessly, "I want you…now…"

"Derek," she smiled a long while later, both lying naked and completely sated on the towel covered nearby lounge; they'd been too lethargic to walk to their bed. "Best shower sex…ever…"

"Uhmmm…better than…"

"Tied," she smiled, remembering exactly what he was talking about, "though I thought…you were embarrassed when I mentioned it…in the elevator…"

"Mer…you were talking about …"

"The wicked witch," she giggled.

"The wicked witch," he chuckled, "Aunt Pat is going to love you…"

"You have to tell me about her," she said.

"I'm going to let you meet her…" he chuckled, "form your own opinion."

"Well," she said, her hand roaming his body, "if she's going to love me…that means she didn't like the wicked witch, so I'm going to love her."

"You are," Derek told her, "and she's going to love you," he sucked in his breath as Meredith gently but suggestively caressed the length of him.

"Mer…"

"Take me for a ride Derek…I know you love roller coasters…" and it would be quite some time before they ordered room service that morning.

"These oranges are wonderful," Meredith sucked on a section of the peeled fruit, "you should try this…"

"I'm enjoying it," he teased, as they sat cross legged on the bed, "just watching you."

"The baby really likes these," she smiled at him, and then she lay back against the pillows, "he's very active today."

"Maybe," Derek teased her, "it has to do with all the activity from this morning."

"The baby can't feel that," Meredith got serious, her hand instinctively covered her abdomen, "Derek…he can't…right…that would be…"

"Our baby is perfectly protected and does not feel that, though you know it's not unusual for them to move a lot…we read about it…"

"Right," she said, her hand gently caressing her belly.

"Hey…princess," Derek leaned over her, "Daddy and Mommy love you a lot, and I bet your Mommy's going to want to take a long nap pretty soon…" he continued to talk to their baby which delighted Meredith.

"Oh my God…" Meredith said suddenly, her hand as raised right above her belly button.

"What's wrong…" Derek reacted immediately, "Mer…"

"Derek," her eyes watered, and he saw the tears about to fall.

"Meredith," he sat up, "what's wrong…talk to me…please…are you feeling ok?"

"It's…" she started to say, and then just cried.

"Are you in pain…are you feeling more contractions…Meredith…talk to me."

"I'm…" she sniffled, "I'm huge…Derek…look…and…my belly button…popped."

Derek wasn't sure whether to laugh or kill her; she'd scared the living hell out of him.

"You…" she said, "you think it's funny," she told him, "I'm…upset…and you're…"

"I…" he took a deep breath, "adore you…but you just scared the hell out of me."

"You were trying not to laugh," she accused him.

"I was trying," he said truthfully, "to figure out…whether to laugh or kill you…"

His honesty, suddenly made her realize the irrationality of her thoughts, and what it must have seemed like to him, and she reached for him and brought his mouth to hers. "I'm sorry…that…I don't know what came over me…"

"Meredith," he pulled her into his arms, "I love…that you're bigger…I swear I do…I find you beautiful…Mer…and yes," he lay his hand on her belly button, "it's popped…because our baby's growing…and how can I not think all of what's happening is beautiful?"

"You," she was unable to stop crying, "are not playing fair…"

"All I know," he kissed away the tears, "is that I love you…"

"Oh Derek," she hugged him closer to her, "I love you too."

That afternoon they went to the spa together, and as during the rest of the week, all they cared about was each other. They'd agreed upon arrival that they would disconnect completely; the television remained silent and neither used their phones, though upon arrival they'd emailed Caroline, his sisters and the friends back in Seattle a picture of the view from the living room with a quick note that they'd arrived safely and would be in touch at the end of the week.

The last couple of days, they decided they had no need for the outside world, and remained at the resort, taking long walks on the beach and the terraced gardens of the old colonial plantation home; meals consumed when and where the mood suited them.

"Derek," Meredith said late one night as she lay back on a lounge big enough for two, both enjoying the bright and clear evening sky, "he's loving how much you've talked to him this week, he doesn't stop moving."

"Shush…" he said, as his head rested against her pregnant belly, "don't talk…"

"You don't want me to talk…"

"Shush…let me listen…"

"Listen…" her fingers combed his hair, "to what…"

"The baby…"

"You're listening to the baby," she giggled, "what is he saying?"

"Heartbeat…" Derek whispered.

"What…"

"Wait…" he said, his head pressed against her no longer invisible bump, and remained silent several minutes, as his hands caressed the side of her belly, and then he lifted his head and looked at her in awe.

"What…" she said, "Derek…what's going on…"

"I could hear," he smiled, eyes twinkling with joy, "the heartbeat…it's true…what the book said…you can hear the heartbeat if I press my ear…"

"You can," Meredith's eyes watered, "really…"

"I can…Mer…it's a wonderful sound…I mean, we can hear it with the stethoscope…but like this, it said it was not always possible but…I heard her heartbeat," he said, and cupped her face and kissed her.

"It's not common at all," Meredith said, "she…he wanted you to know…how special this week has been…not just for me…but for him too…"

"It's amazing…" he told her, shaking his head, "life…is really a miracle..."

"Our unexpected tiny miracle," she agreed.

"I can be more patient now," Derek kissed her tenderly, "even if I have to wait a bit longer to feel her move."

"Maybe that's his way of letting you know he's there…and healthy…and that he's growing stronger so his daddy can feel all the kicks and movements his mommy loves…"

"I can wait," Derek said, "after this…I can definitely wait."

"Mer," Cristina frowned at her, "you can't keep walking around in a trance."

"What are you talking about," Meredith looked up at her friend, as she sat somewhat comfortably in the resident's lounge, her hands protectively and gently over her belly.

"Since you got back two days ago, you have this dreamy look all the time."

"Cristina," Meredith met her friend's gaze, "we had the most incredible week…"

"I don't want to hear details about Mr. Incredible," she said. "Ok…maybe I do…Owen's been away three days," she said, "won't be back till tomorrow night."

"I don't mean sex," Meredith told her, though from the far away look, she was certainly thinking about it, "it was just…the first time we were together, a week alone, away from everything, a beautiful setting and happy…really happy and I wasn't waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"I think," Cristina told her, "you've had plenty of those to last a lifetime, it's time to be happy…I think…you'll be happy…"

"I hope so," Meredith smiled as she continued to rub her belly.

"Mer," Cristina said suddenly and went to sit next to her, "the sex…I know the two of you…well everyone knows how much you two enjoy that. But, now, being pregnant…is it the same…I mean…"

"It's been better…"

"How," Cristina's look was incredulous, "is it even possible…"

"I'm not that huge," Meredith said, "not yet…so…it's been…very enjoyable."

"Huh…" Cristina seemed to ponder the idea.

"Cristina," Meredith smiled, "why all the questions?"

"Nothing…"

"Cristina," Meredith insisted.

"Owen…" she said, "he likes kids. But, Mer…you know me…they're not for me."

"You can't feel this yet," Meredith said and took her friend's hand and placed it on her abdomen, "but this little one is moving like crazy, it's like a little gymnast in there…"

"Appropriate," Cristina smiled at her, "remember Katie Bryce? Your first surgery with McDreamy."

"I do…" Meredith smiled, "when Derek talks to him…he has his own little rhythm going on …you're right…very appropriate."

"Mer," Cristina said, "can I have my hand back," and paused suddenly, "Mer, your belly button popped."

Meredith just smiled, "yes. Now, as to being pregnant… you should know that it's the most wonderful feeling in the world…Cristina…nothing compares to it…not even that surgery high.," her eyes watered, "to know, there's this tiny baby kicking the daylights out of me…that Derek and I created…nothing…like it in the world," she said, "think about it."

They got together with their friends, that now included Owen, one night the week they were back and they teased Meredith that she spent a week wearing sandals, bathing suits and sundresses, and somehow she didn't care that Derek had shown their photos. Meredith, Alex observed and earned a thump on the head from Lexie, was not as graceful as before, and with Christmas fast approaching, before the night was out, it had been agreed, they'd have a tree decorating evening, and Christmas Dinner would be held at their home.

Christmas Day significantly would lead the way to Meredith's twenty-eight week of pregnancy, and she'd made sure her shopping had been completed as soon as she returned from their honeymoon trip.

"Derek," Meredith called out to him, when she heard him walk very quietly into the room, late in the afternoon on Christmas Eve.

"You're awake," he smiled as he went to sit next to her, "I thought you were napping."

"My back hurt a bit, and you weren't home yet," she said in way of explaining the body pillow on their bed.

"I'm home now," he said, gently caressing her belly, "and I brought one of your favorite meals…" he smiled.

"Italian," her eyes lit up.

"Italian," he kissed her softly, "from your favorite place…and cheesecake."

"You're really spoiling me," she didn't move, but reached for his hand and brought it to her lips.

"Are you up to having dinner downstairs or you want me to bring it up?"

"We'll go downstairs. I've been resting for a couple hours. Help me up?"

Carolyn Shepherd called right after eight and spent more time talking to Meredith than to her son, which delighted Derek as she told Meredith all about the Midnight Mass tradition she'd kept for years and that she wanted a little quiet time to talk to them before the chaos of Christmas Day. Derek, lay with his head on Meredith's breast as his hands gently caressed her now very visible baby belly.

"Hey Mom," they were on speaker phone, "when you're at mass, maybe you can say a little prayer that your granddaughter let me feel her, she's being very dainty …"

"Carolyn," Meredith laughed, "there's nothing dainty about his kicks and constant movement."

"Don't you worry dear," Carolyn said, "I think she'll be letting you feel her pretty soon."

"Hey princess," Derek leaned over Meredith's abdomen when they'd wished his mother a Merry Christmas and she'd said a special Christmas blessing for them. "I hope your grandma is right…because I've been really patient…and I really really want to feel you moving…just like your Mommy does…even though I hope you're not kicking her all the time…but she doesn't seem to mind," Meredith just smiled as Derek talked to their unborn child.

"Derek," Meredith said, "he's moving so much…he loves to hear your voice…"

"Little one," Derek said with such tenderness in his voice, Meredith's eyes welled, "you know what would make this the most wonderful Christmas I've ever had…which it already is," Meredith smiled at his ramble, "since your Mommy agreed to marry me…and it's our first Christmas together…and you're on your way…but…if…I can feel you…that would make this…"

Meredith took his hand, moving it to where the baby was kicking up a storm and pressed it into her abdomen, and then, she heard the sound of pure joy and wonderment.

"Meredith," Derek whispered, "she kicked…I felt her…she kicked…"

"You felt her," Meredith said, her voice cracking, and she moved his hand toward the movement again, pressing it firmly against her, "Derek…"

"Oh…God…" he said, his voice filled with emotion, "Mer…she kicked…again," and they spent the next several minutes in silence, as Meredith's hand over Derek's continued to follow their baby's movements.

"I think," Meredith's whispered, "she's settled now," though Derek's hand remained in place.

"Mer," Derek said finally, as he sat up and met her gaze, his hand gently caressing her face, "I felt her move…she kicked…"

"She did…" Meredith's eyes filled with tears, as she looked into his eyes and caught a glimpse of his soul, and the immeasurable love this man, that loved her, felt for her and their child. "Merry Christmas, Daddy," she whispered.

"Meredith," he whispered, "I love you…I love you so much…and this little one…Mer…I love you so much," he said as their lips met and tasted tears of happiness.

Christmas morning dawned on the East Coast and Derek got out of bed quietly at five to call his mother and tell her he'd finally felt the baby move. Then, he held his wife, not wanting to wake her until finally he kissed her awake when he felt their baby kick again.

"Mer…this is the most wonderful Christmas of my life," and their baby rewarded the sentiment with a few new kicks of its own, delighting his mother and making her father forget all about opening their gifts. But, they got around to it eventually, each having agreed that their honeymoon had been an early Christmas present, though they naturally bought things, and then he drove her to the hospital for her eight hour shift.

Christmas dinner was catered, and after spending a considerable amount of time on the phone with his sisters talking about the gifts received on both coasts, they enjoyed the rest of the evening with their Seattle Family, this time including Miranda Bailey and her father; Mrs. Hunt, and for Lexie's sake, Meredith told her to invite Thatcher. But, it turned out for the best when they found out he'd decided to visit Molly and spend time with his granddaughter.

The friends exchanged gifts, Baby Shepherd being the recipient of many, including one from Mrs. Hunt who'd taken the time to knit a small dainty yellow sweater with the finest threads, and freaked Cristina a bit when she'd glanced over to her and Owen when Meredith thanked her for the beautiful gift, and Mrs. Hunt smiled and said she hoped there would be more opportunities to do more knitting for babies in the future.

Meredith, Derek would tease her late that night, was his best gift, as she walked in from the bathroom wearing another piece of lingerie his sisters had purchased, and he'd enjoyed taking it enough almost immediately.

Coinciding with the end of the year, her appointment with Dr. Cameron was the last of the monthly visits; once she reached her 30th week he would see her every two weeks. Baby Shepherd was moving constantly and Derek was forever touching Meredith's belly, while the hospital betting pool was now keeping track of how often he did this, just as Meredith kept track of the baby's movements.

New Year's Eve was spent at the trailer, both thrilled to have the next three days off together, and they welcomed the year overlooking Seattle's display of fireworks and toasting with apple cider. The rest of the night, the beginning of what they both expressed was the best and most extraordinary New Year's night ever, was witness to the insatiable passion and desire of two once lonely people…now labeled lovers worthy of legends.

_A/N 2JUN – Thank you so much for each of your comments. When I mentioned I'd been disappointed, I could see over 800 views to the story and two comments, but you were wonderful and made up for it. Thank you! It really does inspire to write faster. Hope you enjoy this chapter, I decided to split it again, since I came across some favorite characters you may recognize and they seem to do a lot of talking. Hope you don't mind I steered away from a whiny pregnant Meredith, I've read so may of them…I just could not bring myself to do it…hence a variation with her roller coaster rides. Thanks again, Jasmin._


	23. Chapter 23

_Disclaimer: Guess I should say some of these characters have been created by me; definitely not Shonda's Grey's characters. If there's some familiar stories…it's got to do with liking continuity in story telling and remembering certain details; I recall years ago hearing Susan Elizabeth Phillips say that every scene must advance the story line; there should be no irrelevant scenes. That's my frustration with Grey's…but I digress. I've tried, to the best of my ability, to provide continuity. You'll recognize some character traits for some of those characters I've created. As the story continues to unfold toward the end, once I reached 45 pages and over 15,000 words knew it had to be split to be posted on other thread. I wrote this chapter for me, including developing a bit of the relationships between the characters. Hope you don't mind or find it boring. 'll do my best to edit the remaining chapter, which is 90 percent complete, and post this week. Warm regards, Jasmin._

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 23**

Meredith's pregnancy progressed without complications, though the occasional roller coaster ride of emotions was never far away, somewhat similar to the second trimester when physically she'd felt great most of the time. The New Year also gave way to the third trimester, accompanied by some of its uncomfortable, albeit expected symptoms. Her friends and family, however, were almost as determined as Derek to pamper her.

"Mer," Lexie said late one afternoon as she tracked her down and pulled her along to the resident's lounge, forcing her to take a break. "Derek said your weight gain was right on track, not too much…so I brought you something you'll like."

"He's talking about my weight gain," Meredith frowned.

"No," Lexie said, "I was…he didn't say how much…but he said the baby's heart rate is perfect, and that she's moving all the time, and everything should be on schedule with the baby's development just like we've been keeping track, and your blood pressure was normal Mer…you're doing great."

"Don't you have anything else to do," Meredith snapped.

"No," her sister smiled. "Nothing as important as my niece being healthy, and my sister being happy," she said, and handed her a chocolate milk shake.

"You got me this…" Meredith smiled, "how did you know?"

"Mark got it," Lexie told her. "Derek got paged into surgery when he was on his way to get it for you."

"Earning godfather points," Meredith smiled as she took a big gulp of the shake. "Lexie, you've got to stop saying it's girl."

"He's afraid you'll change your mind," Lexie ignored her other comment.

"I'm not going to do that," Meredith rolled her eyes. "He's the godfather."

"Mer," Lexie asked when Meredith flinched and pressed her hand to her side, "what's wrong?"

"I'm ok," Meredith said, "Braxton Hicks…"

"That's very normal," Lexie said, "with week 30, they should be getting stronger and more frequent. You may also find that your balance and mobility are a bit off Mer…it's normal too…plus you'll start peeing a lot more, and probably have difficulty sleeping maybe even some cramping in your legs…"

"Lexie," Meredith stopped her, "any good news?"

"Yes," her sister smiled, "Mer if we could see the baby, she sucks her thumb and weighs about three pounds, her hands are perfect and her finger nails are starting to grow and she's probably going to have a full head of hair, like her daddy…"

"Lex," Meredith reached for her hand and placed it over her pregnant belly, "feel her…she has the hiccups."

"You can tell," Lexie said, "really…"

"I can," Meredith smiled, "can you feel her kicking?"

"Yes," Lexie said, "it's the first time…finally…"

"Derek's Christmas gift," Meredith smiled, "that's when he felt her the first time."

The end of the week brought a minor emotional upheaval as she realized they hadn't done anything to get the baby's room ready, and he got home to find her in tears, sitting on the bedroom chair.

"Mer," he kneeled in front of her taking her hands in his, "what's wrong?"

"I'm going to be a terrible mother…"

"I disagree," he said tenderly, "I think you're already a wonderful mother…"

"How can you say that…the baby's going to be here in ten weeks and I haven't even gone shopping…and can you imagine if the baby comes early…there's nowhere for her to sleep in," he smiled every time Meredith said she. "I'm horrible…horrible…"

"You are not horrible…and my sisters made it clear they have been buying out the stores…and all we need to do is get the furniture, and we can do that this week…we'll go and find everything we need for our little girl…" he said, as he leaned in to kiss her stomach.

"Our baby boy," she said, "would not like girly furniture."

"We'll pick something that's good for either a boy or a girl…" he soothed her, his arms around her, moving gently up and down her back.

"Derek," she sniffled still, "what if I'm just not ready…this was so unexpected, if it had happened later…I may have known what do to…learn before I got pregnant…what if I can't do this…there's so much I don't know…or what kind of Mom I'm going to be…and maybe…Derek…maybe I can't be a good mom…and I'm going to mess it up."

"What if I mess up?" he said. "I'm a little scared too…but…we'll do it together," he smiled, "remember," his thumb caressed the back of her hand, "baby steps…if one falls…the other will be there, and Mer…I'll be here, we both will, every step of the way…and I'll help and my Mom and my sisters I'm sure they'll have more tips than we want to hear about."

"I don't want our baby handed off to some nanny Derek…and we get all caught up in work and surgery," she remained quiet in his arms. "I can't be like my mother…I don't want to be like my mother…"

"You're not like your Mother," he told her, "I already know that…you've loved our baby since you found out about her," he smiled at her, "or him…and our baby knows…and if we can't do it alone, we'll get help…"

"I don't want a nanny raising our baby…"

"Meredith," he said calmly, "we may need some help. But, you and I will raise our baby…our babies…"

"Derek," she squeezed his hands gently and leaned forward to rest her forehead on his, "I'm feeling like an elephant…and you're talking babies…"

"One baby," he smiled, "at a time," he said and kissed her softly. "Come on," he pulled her up gently, "let's go to bed."

"Derek," she said, once they were laying facing each other, tears in her eyes, "I had a horrible role model…I don't know how to be a mom…I don't want to fail."

Meredith," he said tenderly, "you are a caring…compassionate…loving woman, an amazing friend…extraordinary in all that matters…you are going to be an exceptional mom..." he smiled.

"What makes you so sure," she felt his hand on her face wiping the tears away.

"Ah…you see…there are times, I get these feelings…when I just know things," he kissed her lips softly. "And…you've never had the pull of a tiny precious little baby…that lights up your entire life… and I know that's how you'll feel," he kissed her gently, his hand caressing her face. "I know…because this little one's mom lights up my life…so completely…how…can our baby do anything less for us both?"

"Oh…Derek…" she whispered, "you light up my life too…"

"Does that sound like an old song," he teased her, finally making her laugh, and then he held her through the night, whispering tender words of comfort and love.

During the week that followed not only did they choose the baby's furniture, but Meredith suddenly and urgently decided having the baby's room across the hall was too far away, and a bit of panic set in, until they talked through it and decided they'd look into the house plans and see if there was a way to have a connecting door to Alex's room; luckily there was, and remodeling began immediately, with a ten day estimate of completion. Meredith also dragged Lexie along with her to go window shopping for baby themes, causing Derek to pout that he was being left out, but Meredith appeased him by visiting the maternity store owned by Alice, and she too found the woman charming, and spent a considerable amount of money on recently needed maternity clothes and baby items not just for their baby, but for Jenna's.

Derek's logic dictated she shouldn't be around all the dust and construction, so they moved out of the house to the trailer, and he paid dearly to speed up the process, and thus the adjoining room was ready in five days time, including removing all furniture to the attic and having the room painted in a soothing and appropriately neutral pastel color. The crib and furniture selected, all of the absolute highest quality, was natural wood and white, as was the rocking chair she'd taken an incredibly long time to select. In spite of the adjoining door, baby Shepherd would come into the world and sleep with his or her parents in the bassinet Meredith had selected, adamant that the baby would be by her side through the first several weeks after birth.

The overall theme for the nursery was a different matter, and that would be ultimately decided with his sisters arrival for the baby shower, which coincided with the thirty fourth week of pregnancy. Notwithstanding the expected ups and down, the days became routinary. But, some things didn't change; napping fifteen to twenty minutes daily, a schedule of no more than eight hours and long walks almost daily with her husband, either on their land or a nearby park, and his insistence that she enjoy a long leisurely bath as often as possible. But, he made her promise, only when he was home, to make sure she was ok getting in and out of the tub.

Sexual intimacy was ever present, though oftentimes he knew she much preferred a backrub, and a massage that included her tired feet at the end of the day. But, Meredith continued to make it known that she treasured the intimacy between them and Dr. Cameron had not placed any restrictions on their sexual activity.

Meredith's baby shower coincided with her 34th week of pregnancy and her appointment with Dr. Cameron took place the morning of the Shepherd's arrival, and at their insistence they would check in at the hotel and then come over to Meredith's. Carolyn was staying with them at Derek's request, as he'd began to sense his wife's need for mothering, and no one was better at it than his Mom.

"Oh my God," Jenna, who was the first one to reach the front door, exclaimed when she saw Meredith as the family began to arrive for lunch. "Ma," she sniffled, "lied to me. I'm huge…she told me I didn't look bigger than Mer…and Rob…I've driven him crazy…and he didn't tell me," she said, and then Mer who was standing in the foyer by the stairs, momentarily speechless, noticed the little girl clinging to Jenna's leg began to cry.

Derek acted immediately and lifted his niece in his arms, "Meghan, sweetie…you've gotten so big," but the little girl cried harder and extended her arms towards her mother, who took her from him and the little girl wrapped her tiny legs around her mother's not so tiny waist.

"Mommy," the little girl cried, "you're cwying…do you have a booboo Mommy…"

"Meggie," Jenna hugged her, "Mommy's ok, Mommy's sorry…"

"Derek," Meredith said, about to cry herself, "why is she crying…"

"Jenna's little water faucet," he said smiling. "As for Jenna…I haven't quite figured it out. But her two little ones are just like her."

"Jenna," Maggie said as she walked in with her mother's bag, "what have you done?"

"Leave her alone," Carolyn Shepherd said as she walked in behind her daughter and smiled as she went to her daughter in law and hugged her, "she's probably realized she's carrying bigger than Meredith. Sweetheart," Carolyn said to Meredith, "you look beautiful…"

"Carolyn," Meredith said, "I'm huge…and that's hardly…"

"You're absolutely beautiful," Carolyn said, and automatically placed her hand on her belly, feeling the baby kick, "and my granddaughter agrees," and then she hugged her son.

"Meggie," Jenna continued to soothe, kissing her daughter's tears away, "you remember what Daddy says…that Mommy's tears are happy tears…"

"Cause of my baby sister…" the little girl hiccupped, stealing a glance at Meredith and Derek.

"Yes…your baby sister is growing and that makes Mommy happy even if I cry a lot, because I'm happy that we're going to meet your baby sister soon…ok…"

"Happy cwying Mommy? I tells Daddy it was happy cwying?"

"Yes baby," Jenna said, "it was. Now, why don't you say hello to your Uncle Derek…he hasn't seen you in a long time and he loves you very much…"

"I not know him…"

"You don't remember him," Jenna kissed her forehead, "but Uncle Derek is Mommy's brother and…"

"He's old mommy…"

"Yes," Jenna smiled, "he is…but he's still Mommy's brother, and I love him a lot."

"Lots and lots…" Meghan asked, "like I love Katie?"

"Yes sweetie," Jenna hugged her daughter, "just like that."

"Meghan," Derek insisted, "I haven't seen you in a very long time…but I'm so happy you're here…and…"

"Katie said you be my Uncle D. Cause of she said your name is hard to say if you're little…like me."

"I am," he said, "you're Uncle Derek…do you think I can have a hug," he said, but the little girl snuggled closer to her mother, and her grandmother took her.

"Sweetie," Carolyn said, "I think it will make your Uncle Derek sad if you don't give him a big hug, and I bet Meredith would like a hug too."

"I not know them," the little girl insisted and kept an eye on her mother who'd walked over to Meredith.

"It's ok Mom," Derek said and gave the little girl a kiss on the cheek. "Meggie," he used the girl's endearment, "Katie's right, and you can call me Uncle D."

"Mer," Jenna looked her up and down and smiled, "if you're huge…I'm an elephant," and she reached out to hug her tightly, as best as their pregnant bellies would allow, "and being pregnant is a bitch."

"Granma," Meghan exclaimed, "Mommy said a really bad word."

"Yes, Meggie," Carolyn said, "she certainly did," but she smiled as she saw her daughter and daughter in law embrace and wipe sentimental tears off their faces.

"I think," Meredith told her, "we both look pretty amazing…being this fat…"

"Merciful heaven," Meredith turned toward the unknown voice, "Jenna Patricia you just got here and the waterworks are on."

"Jenna…Derek…" Meredith said incredulously, her mouth agape as she looked at the woman in front of her wearing a modern version of a religious head dress, "your Aunt Patricia is a nun…"

"I know," Jenna laughed, "the Bishop is still regretting his decision."

"Carolyn," the nun turned to her sister, "you really have to control your very impertinent and irreverent children," and the two women shared a knowing smile. "Meredith," the nun smiled, "don't let yourself be corrupted by my niece…that poor husband of hers is forever jumping hoops."

"He is not," Jenna protested, though she couldn't keep the smile hidden.

"He should be," Derek said somewhat grumpily, and Meredith looked at him confused.

"Oh get over it," Pat said, "it's been years since you had that silly fight."

"It was not silly," Jenna stated, "Derek was an a…jerk."

"What fight?" Meredith asked.

"Don't pay any attention to her Mer," Maggie said, "Aunt Pat's trying to make trouble, as usual."

"Making trouble," Patricia said, "because I speak my mind? Let me remind you Mary Margaret..."

"Here goes…God help me," Maggie rolled her eyes, much like Meredith did, "John's about to be the next target."

"At least," Derek said, "John had the good sense not to date you before you turned 18."

"Enough of that," Carolyn said, "that is certainly well behind us…especially," she gave Derek a disapproving look, "with your third niece about to be welcomed."

"Derek," Meredith said, "what was that about?"

"Later…" he told her.

"Granma," Meghan had not forgotten her mother's comment. "Are you gonna wash mommy's mouth with soap?"

"Good God," Maggie said, followed by her sisters, each holding bags that appeared to be brown grocery bags, "we just got here, and Jenna's already in trouble."

"Meredith," Kathleen was the first one to rush forward and hug her, "you look beautiful…you're glowing…"

"She's lying," Jenna said, "Mer…we all lie about it, but it's hard to overlook, we're fat and…"

"Stop bitching," Nancy said, "we've had six hours worth of…"

"Granma…Aunt Nancy…she said another bad word…"

"Yes, sweetie, and I promise you that Granma is going to wash their mouth with soap."

"Meredith," Nancy hugged her brother first, while Kathleen caressed Meredith's baby bump, "don't pay attention to her…at all…both of you…look amazing…and there isn't an ounce of fat…all baby…" she said and took her turn hugging her. "Active baby…too," she smiled as she felt the strong kicks.

"She's excited," Derek said, "to have all her aunts here."

"Derek Christopher," Patricia faced him, "you have a lot of explaining to do."

"I haven't been to confession," Derek looked at his aunt, "in a very long time."

"Should have boxed your ears long ago," Patricia grumbled before she reached out to hug her nephew. "I've missed you, we all have."

"So have I," Derek said, and Meredith watched as she continued to realize how much his family meant to him.

"I take it," Patricia turned to Meredith, "none of my family told you I was a nun."

"No…ma'am…Sister…" Meredith stuttered.

"Aunt Pat," the woman smiled, "to you…" and hugged her. Then turned to her sister, "Carolyn, you were absolutely right…she was the one…not that fake redhead."

"Ok," Maggie said, "my turn," and she walked up to touch Meredith's belly, "and I hope you are used to this, because…it seems that having Jenna around is not enough…and I'm telling you both right now…if I get pregnant…" she smiled at Jenna, remembering their ongoing joke of Irish blessings, "with twins…you're both taking turns taking care of them."

"Maggie," Meredith smiled as the baby kicked, "how are we to blame…don't you need John," she teased her sister in law, "to get pregnant."

"Smart ass," Maggie whispered, "I don't want my mouth washed out with soap," and both women laughed.

Lunch was best described as chaotic, eight people talking at the same time, everyone wanting to make the most of the short time they would have together. Seven women in the house ensured the kitchen was tidier and cleaner than before they got there, and like a well rehearsed drill, before Meredith knew what hit her everyone had left to get ready for the next day's baby shower, and only she and Jenna were left at home with Meghan.

"Mommy," the three-year old walked up to Jenna, now sitting in the den. "I tired…"

"Maybe," Jenna said caressing her dark locks, as the little girl rested her head on her mother's belly, "it's time to take a little nap."

"No nap Mommy, I just tired…"

"What if Mommy comes with you? Would you keep me company?"

"And my baby sister?"

"Yes…" Jenna smiled as her daughter placed her small hands over her belly, "I can't leave her behind you know."

"Cause of my baby sister is in your tummy," the three year old stated, making Meredith smiled, as she placed her hands on her own growing little one.

"That's right," Jenna smiled, "just like when you and Katie were in my tummy…you went everywhere with me."

"Mommy…my baby sister is not sleeping."

"No, she's not," Jenna told her, "because she is so excited to be here at Uncle Derek's."

"Mommy," Meghan's intended whisper was heard by all, as she pointed to Meredith, "she my baby cousin's mommy?"

"Yes," Jenna smiled at her, "Meredith is Uncle Derek's wife and she's your baby cousin's mommy…"

"She be Aunty Merwedith…Merwith…"

"She's your Aunty Meredith," Jenna kissed her.

"I not remember her…"

"That's because you haven't met her before, only your Uncle Derek," she said, and the little girl climbed on her lap and laid her head on her mother's tummy, and before long was asleep.

"Jenna," Meredith said, "she's adorable…"

"She's being unusually shy today," Jenna told her. "I think it's got to do with the long trip, and she's a real daddy's girl, both girls are. Just like yours is going to be," Jenna told her.

"You're so sure," Meredith smiled at her.

"So are you," Jenna smiled back, reaching for her hand and placing it on her very pregnant belly, "and they are going to be great friends."

"Derek would love a little girl," Meredith smiled at her.

"So would her Mommy," Jenna said with a knowing smile.

"I just want a healthy baby," Meredith told her, "boy or girl," and the two pregnant women spent the afternoon talking and getting to know each other better, as the rest of the women went about the business of getting the house and whatever else they'd decided, ready for the following day's baby shower.

Preparations were completed for the next day, and everyone including Mark, Lexie and Cristina had been invited for dinner. Meredith had insisted, in spite of Carolyn's equally adamant insistence that they could pitch in, that their guests, albeit family, would enjoy a relaxing evening and they'd ordered from one of their favorite restaurants.

"You've got to be kidding," Mark argued with Patricia, "you set me up…completely and then blabbed to everyone about what she'd said."

"Mark dear," Patricia said, "it's not my fault her IQ was the equivalent of her breast size, and that she didn't know nuns don't hear confessions."

"You," Cristina said, "are awesome. There may be hope for McBaby yet…"

"McBaby…" Patricia smirked, "you have carried on with the ridiculous burger names."

"That was Mom's reaction," Nancy laughed, "the first time she heard about it."

"They're sisters," Maggie said, "but thank God, Mom's not a troublemaker."

"Mary Margaret," Patricia turned to her, "don't take the Lord's name in vein."

"That's right," Maggie laughed, "I forget only nuns have special dispensation to do that."

"You'll thank me," Patricia said, "when you have two kids under two running around driving you crazy…you'll be tempted to call on Him so often, the kid's first words will be God help me."

"I don't have two little kids," Maggie told her, "so your argument."

"Not now you don't…" the nun replied and looked at her sister. "Carolyn, twenty one's always been one of my favorite numbers," and both sisters smiled.

"Not a bad number at all," Carolyn responded without missing a beat.

"Aunt Pat," Maggie said, "surely you're not suggesting…"

"I don't often suggest Mary Margaret," Patricia said, while the twisted sisters and Lexie exchanged confused looks. "You're getting advance warning…Patricia is a nice middle name."

"Oh God…don't tell John…Aunt Pat…do not encourage him more than he already is."

"Ok…" Cristina said, "it's rude not to let us know what you're talking about."

"Cristina," Patricia said, "as impertinent as you are, which seems to be a common trait of Carolyn's kids and her adopted ones," she looked over at Mark, "and their friends, I like you…call the shots as they are," she responded without actually giving her an answer, and the Shepherd sisters exchanged glances and smiled.

The rest of the evening was yet another milestone in the relationship between Meredith and her sisters and the extended Shepherd family, one that cemented the foundation of familial ties and bond that would be continuously strengthened through the years.

"Sister Pat," Mark taunted her, "whatever it is you do tomorrow…at these baby showers…"

"Don't play dumb with me Sloan, you've witnessed plenty of them."

"Only while hiding," Mark countered, "or when we were forced to load and unload cars of gifts without having any options."

"Lucky for you then," Kathleen said, "we've become much smarter…and have opted to have Meredith's here…where all the presents just need to be carried to the nursery."

"Meredith," Patricia said, "you'll want to be practical and leave everything that needs to be laundered on the first floor, no sense in working double."

"Aren't you giving her new things," Mark said, "why does it have to be laundered? Aren't they going to spit on them and poop and all of that the first time they use it?"

"Derek," Nancy laughed, "I do believe we've found another contagious quality...Mark's as brainless as you can be."

"I know everything has to be laundered," Derek said, "it even tells you in the books we're reading…and I …"

"That," Nancy smiled, "is because they know they're dealing with dad's that have no clue as to what's going to happen."

"No picking on my husband," Meredith smiled and put her hand over Derek's; his had been on her stomach a lot of the time this evening, "he told me that with the first baby outfit we bought…and he knew about it from all your babies."

"I guess," Kathleen said, "he may have had some insider information with our broods."

"I was going to say," Mark's voice boomed, "before being interrupted by Sister Trouble."

"Sister Trouble," Carolyn said, "oh dear…but she's gotten much worse over the years," and her entire family laughed.

"I was giving her the benefit of the doubt," Mark got up and put his arm around the nun and hugged her. "Don't upset my godchild's mother tomorrow with any of your labor horror stories. I think Shep wants more than one kid and if you repeat…"

"Mark," Lexie told him, "stop teasing…you're exaggerating…"

"Exaggerating…" Mark drawled and he and Patricia exchanged smiles, "you have no idea."

"Mark," Nancy said, "she only has three horror stories."

"I was young," Patricia said, "and impressionable."

"Sister Pat…" Cristina said, "before you were a nun, were you a nurse like Mrs. Shepherd? I guess an ob nurse?"

Laughter was heard throughout the room before Maggie spoke, "she's talking from personal experience, she has six kids."

"This is really not nice," Meredith said, "you are all putting me on…wait…you said you were Patricia O'Reilly. But you're Carolyn's sister…so shouldn't you be Maloney…"

"No," Maggie laughed, "that's her married name."

"Nuns can't be married, even I know that…without being Catholic," Meredith commented.

"My sister," Carolyn spoke, "had been married twenty five years and had six kids, when she became a widow, and fifteen years ago she became a nun, the order is still regretting accepting her."

Cristina got up and poured a double scotch malt. "Shepherd," Cristina handed him the glass. "We have to drink to this…there's hope for the new generation after all…as long as the baby has some Maloney traits."

"Jenna," Meredith turned to her sister in law, who'd made herself comfortable next to her on the couch, "you couldn't have said this to me earlier…"

"Mom," Kathleen said, "are you ready for the water works?"

"Kathleen," Maggie turned to her, "don't be mean…you're still not too old to get pregnant."

"God forbid," Kathleen said, "are you crazy?"

"Then," Maggie said with a hint of a smile, "don't make fun of the soon to be turned on faucets…you know about Irish curses…and blessings…"

"Girls," Carolyn and Patricia said simultaneously.

"We know Mom," Kathleen smiled, "baby's are always a blessing…"

"Mer…I swear," Jenna said, eyes watering as she saw her sister in law's hurt look, "I didn't think of it…"

"We spent three hours together…talking about everything…" Meredith sniffled, "and you didn't think to tell me that…and let me make a fool of myself…that I didn't know about Derek's family…and make it obvious…I'm just an outsider…"

"Mer…" Jenna said, as the rest of the family watched, used to the hormonal overdrives, "it's not really my fault…it's Derek's…we just ran out of time talking…really…can you think of a moment it would have been relevant for me to say…oh and Aunt Pat was married and has six kids…"

"She's probably right Mer," Cristina commented, taking another sip of her liquor based drink, "it's really Derek's fault…he should have told you."

"It's nobody's fault," Patricia interrupted, "let's not blow this out of proportions. Cristina, keep your mouth shut. Meredith, there's more important things to get upset about…and from all I hear my nephew has done nothing but pamper and take care of you…so what…if he forgot about telling you all the details about our family…maybe he didn't want to scare you with the genetic components, on the Maloney side."

"Genetic components…" Carolyn said, "Pat what in the world…are you …"

"Carolyn," her sister told her, "for the love of God, I'm trying to fix things and stop these two from flooding the couch…"

"It's a good thing," Jenna sniffled, placing her hand on her abdomen, "that jet lag caught up with Meggie and she's been asleep since seven…you're all not being very nice…"

"Jenna," Kathleen said, "stop pouting. Rob's not here."

"Bitch," Jenna said.

"It is a good thing," Carolyn said, "Meghan's asleep, she'd be reminding me to wash your mouth out with soap."

Meredith, Lexie and Cristina looked at each other and shrugged, somehow, they'd understood this was part of the family dynamics; Meredith decided to go with the flow and continue to adapt to what it meant to be one more family member in a loving caring environment and smiled as she took Derek's hand and placed it on her abdomen. "Baby's not phased by any of this at all…I think he likes all his family around him."

"I should have told you," Derek said, "it's really my fault I didn't talk more about them…"

"Shepherd," Meredith ordered, "no brooding…I'm learning about them now…up close and personal."

"You're not mad?" Derek asked.

"I'm not mad…and our baby's happy…and kicking the heck out of me…I'm happy."

"Pat," Cristina said, "is it ok if I drop the sister bit…"

"Of course dear, I was going to suggest it."

"What else don't we know about you?" Cristina said.

"You mean," Mark said, "the poker playing, vice filled…bet making…"

"You play poker… and make bets?" Meredith asked incredulously.

"Mer," Nancy said, "we told you…the bishop's still regretting his decision."

"Stop badmouthing me," Patricia said. "Meredith…I will fill you in on all…" she smiled, "my vices…later…"

Meredith and Jenna's inevitable yawning brought the evening to an end, all those present feeling like they were indeed part of the family.

"Derek," Meredith said as they lay in bed, his arm around her as his hand rested on their baby. "Are you sleeping?"

"Uhmmm…"

"Can you wake up…please…"

"Mer…" he gently caressed her belly, "are you ok? You should sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day, you need to rest."

"I feel like talking…and the baby's keeping me up anyway…"

Derek shifted her body gently to face him, helping her get comfortable, "do you want me to get you anything …do you need anything else?

"Just you," she leaned in to kiss his lips.

"I'm here…whenever you need me…"

"Today," she said, and began to get emotional, "it's been…"

"Hey…" he cupped her face, tenderly caressing her cheek, "Mer…please don't cry…what's wrong…did I upset you…I didn't mean to…Mer…I'm sorry if I was insensitive and didn't…"

"I'm not upset…" she smiled at him as her eyes glistened, "thank you…"

"Thank you?"

"Our baby," she said, tears pooling in her yes, "because of you…our baby has a wonderful family."

"Our baby," he repeated, "has a wonderful family because of us…we couldn't give her a family if it wasn't because of us both…your sisters," he smiled.

"Owen says we're twisted sisters," she pouted, "even if it's true…it's not nice…"

"Well," he teased her, and then wished he'd kept his mouth shut, "Lexie neutralizes that…she brings in some bright and shiny…so it's a perfect combination."

"You think that," Meredith said, and Derek held his breath, unsure of what she meant and how she'd interpreted his comment.

"She is a bit on the bubbly side…except now that she's with Mark maybe she…"

"She is," Meredith smiled, "and that's the problem…with my sisters…"

"Mer…I'm not following you…"

"Derek…we're only six weeks away," there was a look of almost fear, "and technically the baby could come at any time…if there are any problems…and…"

"Meredith," he said gently, "there aren't going to be any problems…and even if the baby came early, at this point…there's no reason to think anything would be wrong…"

"I know," she said, "I'm not worried about that…not really, everything's going well, Dr. Cameron is happy with the way my pregnancy has progressed…is not that…"

"Then what?" He asked, as his hands found their way back to her abdomen.

"We have a godfather Derek, but the baby doesn't have a godmother…and she…he…needs to have a godmother Derek…but I can't pick, and it's horrible…I'm being a terrible mother that hasn't picked a godmother…and I have two sisters, and I love them both," Derek swelled with pride as he heard her say that, his wife had indeed become whole and healed not only in their relationship, but that with her sister, "and Derek how can I pick one over the other," he let her finish, the ramble was classic and he wanted to hear all she had to say before daring to give an opinion, "Cristina is my person, and I know she'll love the baby…but Lexie…she's my sister and she's been wonderful. Derek…Lexie…she loved me even when I was keeping her at arms length, and you were right…when you wanted me to get closer to her…look after her…she is my family…she's my sister Derek…they both are…how can I pick one over the other…"

Derek cupped her face, his thumb tenderly wiping away a tear, "you could pick them both…" he said, "they could both be the godmother…"

"They can…how…I thought…I mean, I don't really know much about the religious part…but your family is Catholic and I haven't heard about two godmothers…and Cristina is Jewish, well you know what I mean she was raised that way…and I don't even know if someone Jewish can be a Catholic godparent…I mean…you'd want a baptism and Carolyn would…and I don't know anything…" she looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"I think," Derek soothed, "we'll have an expert in the house tomorrow…why don't you ask Aunt Pat…I'm sure she'll have all the answers for you…" and he leaned and kissed her, a long loving reassuring kiss.

Meredith sighed, then moaned softly, "you're not always brainless…"

"I hope not," he teased, "it's good to know you recognize I have some moments…"

"You have lots of moments," she snuggled close to him, "and…I mean," she lowered her gaze, "I'm huge…and clumsy…and…not as attractive anymore…but…I …" her hands were instinctively caressing him, "I want you Derek…if…"

"I always want you," his response was immediate, "and you're beautiful to me…more so each day…don't ever doubt that…Meredith…I love you..."

"Even with my moods and stretch marks…and complaining…and feeling tired…"

"You don't really complain…when you have every right to, you're nurturing our baby and that takes its toll on you, but Mer…I love every moment you let me take care of you," he kissed her, "and pamper you," he kissed her again, her tongue enticed him to more sensually pressing matters, "and love you…as long as you want…"

"Make love to me Derek," she said softly, "and let me…"

Derek was up early the next morning, exhausted himself from the late night of talking and lovemaking and talking again, since Meredith, in spite of being tired was too hyped to sleep and he spent some time after they'd made love massaging her back and feet, and holding her while she shared her hopes and dreams for their baby.

"Mom," he said as he walked in the kitchen and found her looking for ingredients, "you don't have to cook; I'm going to do that."

"I want to," Carolyn smiled as she walked to her son and kissed his cheek. "What's her favorite breakfast, I'm going to pamper that girl for the next week."

"She doesn't know you're staying," Derek told her.

"Derek Christopher," Carolyn said, "do you mean to tell me you haven't said a thing to her? Honey, she's pregnant and due in six weeks…she may not want her mother in law hanging around…you have to ask her Derek…it's her decision."

"Mom, I told you, she has no idea what it feels like to be mothered. Well, other than the weeks you spent with us, but she'd just met you…and now, I think she'd like having you here."

"Derek…I don't want to be the meddling mother in law, I can't believe you didn't ask her if she'd like that."

"Mom, I'll ask her, but she has no idea what it's like, and I think she needs that now. The girls always had you and each other, and I'm here for her…but I think at a time like this, she needs more than that," he said, "and I want her to have that…what my sisters have."

"We'll figure it out dear," Carolyn said.

"Ma," Derek said and hugged her, "I love you. Thank you for being here."

"We're welcoming your first child," she touched his face, "where else would we be?"

"Derek," Meredith said as she felt him get back in bed. "Where did you go?"

"Mom kicked me out of the kitchen, she insists on making your favorites for breakfast."

"She doesn't need to do that," Meredith shifted uncomfortably, trying to get to a rising position, "it's enough she's here."

"Need to get up?"

"Yes, your son is on my bladder."

"My son," he teased.

"Yeah…" she smiled, "all yours when I'm uncomfortable…"

"Fair enough," he said and walked around the bed to help her up.

"Some days," she said as she leaned into him, her stomach pressed into his, "I'm clumsier than others…balance a bit off…"

"That's normal," he said, as he walked her to the bathroom.

"That feels so much better," she caressed her belly. "Now, I'm starving."

They were finishing breakfast when the phone rang and Derek answered, "are you joking? I don't think Meredith will like that at all…and couldn't you tell me this before."

"What's going on?" Meredith asked.

"It's Kathleen," Derek said, "insisting you have to leave the house for at least three hours so they can get everything ready, and apparently I have to be at their beck and call…and can't be here during the shower."

"I know," Meredith said non-chalantly, "Jenna told me last week."

"You knew about this…and it's ok?"

"Yes," Meredith took the last bite of the not too appetizing bread with radishes. "I'm going to take your Mom to see the baby furniture, we agreed yesterday, after everyone saw that the nursery is empty."

"It would be nice," Derek said as he sat next to her again, "to know these things."

"Don't pout," she said, "we're getting things ready for our baby."

"Derek," his mother said, "you know we don't have men at the baby showers…you've had fourteen nieces and nephews…we're not doing anything new."

"Carolyn," Meredith said, "this bread was amazing. Can I have some of the chocolate cake too?"

"Of course you can dear," Carolyn told her, "you don't think I spent days baking for you for nothing do you?"

"The bags yesterday," Meredith's eyes lit up, "what was brought in …it's all baked goods?"

"It is," Carolyn smiled at her as she placed a piece of cake in front of her, and touched her stomach, "for my new daughter and grandbaby…"

"Oh…thank you," Meredith's eyes watered when Carolyn referred to her as her daughter. "For your new grandchild…"

"For the baby's Mom…baby's still has a bit to get here…" Carolyn repeated, and knew that she'd have to find a way to pamper her daughter in law.

Derek got up to get something, his way of hiding his emotions over the relationship that was developing between the two most important women in his life.

The baby shower was scheduled for three in the afternoon, which meant Carolyn and Meredith were going to have an early lunch so Meredith could get back and take a nap. They'd left the house around nine thirty and were told not to return one second before one in the afternoon.

"I love what you've picked," Carolyn smiled as she looked at the baby furniture, "I can already picture it in the nursery," she said, knowing that by the time they got home all of it would have been set up in time for the shower.

"Carolyn," Meredith said, "look at this…" she held up a dainty baby outfit, perfectly feminine, "it's beautiful…if I have a girl…" she had a serene smile on her face, "I'd love to bring her home in this…but…we have to wait…we won't know until the baby is born."

"I think," Carolyn put an arm around her, "you should get this…it would be perfect for a baby girl's homecoming outfit…"

"It could be a boy…" Meredith said, biting her lip lightly.

"Maybe," Carolyn said, "we could find a similar outfit…for a baby boy…"

"I could get it," Meredith ran her fingers over the beautiful and tiny pink outfit, a perfect match for the March temperatures, "and if I have a boy…it could be for Jenna's baby."

"That's a good idea," Carolyn encouraged her, and before they left the store had purchased a few more things Meredith had to have, the rest suitable for either sex.

"Carolyn," Meredith said as they walked to another shop and she placed a hand on her back, "I need to sit down for a little while."

"Meredith, dear, why didn't you say so…of course we will," and they found a quaint coffee shop where Meredith ordered hot chocolate and her mother in law tea.

"I've replaced coffee," Meredith savored her drink, "with hot chocolate, it's very addictive, and then Derek thinks I have to drink extra milk anyway."

"He's right," Carolyn said, and paused as she considered how to approach the subject.

"Carolyn," Meredith said, she recognized the same look on Derek. "Is something wrong?"

"No, dear…why would you think that?"

"Your expression," Meredith told her, "just like Derek's …a little brooding…the forehead frown…when he's worried…"

"We do have similar expressions," Carolyn admitted.

"Are you going to tell me what it is?" Meredith insisted, her hand rubbing her belly with gentle movements.

"There's nothing wrong…really…it's just…I'm not quite sure, or even if I should…"

"Carolyn," Meredith reached for her hand to place on her belly, "baby's going to be a rambler…for sure…gets it from both sides of the family."

"That she does," Carolyn was delighted at how Meredith had accepted her and her daughters' habit of feeling for the baby's movements.

"Have I done something wrong? Did I say anything to upset you…or Derek's sisters?"

"Oh sweetheart, of course not…we're so happy. Meredith, so very happy you and my son found each other…that you're about to be parents…all of us…feel wonderful having you in our lives…you have no idea…what it means…to have him back in our lives…and we know it's because of you."

"You," Meredith wiped away a tear, "are not being fair…saying these things to me…when you know I've been as bad as Jenna."

"Meredith," Carolyn paused, "there's something…I want to talk to you about…"

"Something is wrong," Meredith jumped to her own conclusions.

"No, there isn't. Meredith, when I had my children…I of course had my husband who was wonderful," she smiled, "much like Derek is with you…trying to pamper me, God rest his soul, through five pregnancies…I also had my mother…and sisters, especially Pat…she and I have always been the closest and I was there for her pregnancies too…we were neighbors in fact…she lived in the house right behind me, still has it…" Carolyn seemed to get lost in her memories, and Meredith placed her hand over hers.

"Got lost there…in memories," Carolyn squeezed her hand gently. "Then, when my girls had their babies…I've always been there, spoiling them a bit…baking or cooking whatever they craved and they've always been there for each other," she met Meredith's gaze and saw the melancholy and sadness, "and…you're working so hard…you have Derek…and Cristina and Lexie but they're working too…"

"Derek's been wonderful…everyone has…" Meredith told her.

"Meredith…I don't want to be one of those interfering mother-in-laws that are a nightmare to their families…but…sweetheart…if you'd like…if you'd let me…I'd love to be here for you…I'd like to stay a little bit, when the girls go home…I won't crowd you…I'll stay at the hotel…maybe I can even get a taste of that trailer of yours in the woods…but…I could see you every day…and pamper my new daughter…and grandchild."

"Oh…" Meredith said, and looked away, her eyes quickly filling with tears, "I …I couldn't…it's…you have things to do…and Jenna's pregnant…and…I can't impose."

"I'm the one imposing," Carolyn held both hands in hers, "I want to do a bit of mothering…and this is the only way I know how…since I'm so far away…but, I'd love to do a bit of it…if you let me…"

"I…" Meredith was holding back her emotions, "I've…never…had that…my mother…she…she …I can't impose…"

"I want to do this…Meredith…and if you let me, I can do a bit of mothering for my son too, he's been away from me a long time…" she knew Meredith loved Derek too much not to accept, and purposely mentioned it.

"It's…" Meredith was trying not to sob in front of this woman, her husband's mother, "if…it's not imposing…"

"Oh…sweetheart," Carolyn reached out to hug her, "doing what I do best…mothering my children…is never an imposition…"

"Yes…" Meredith said in barely a whisper, as she hugged Carolyn, "please stay."

"I promise," Carolyn said, "I won't be in the way…"

"Carolyn," she sniffled, "I'd want…for you to stay with us…in our home."

"I'd like that too," Carolyn said. "Now…no more tears…"

"They're happy tears," Meredith smiled at her.

"Uhmmm…reassuring me…just like Meggie…"

"She's so precious," Meredith smiled at her.

"Wait till this little one is born," Carolyn said, "she's going to have you wrapped around your little finger…all the time."

"I can't wait," Meredith told her.

"Neither can I…"

They walked to the nearby mall, away from the January chill as they had no choice but to stay away from the house. Carolyn had suggested they could go to the hotel, one of her daughter's rooms and she could put her feet up, but Meredith told her she'd be sitting the rest of the afternoon and she was used to long walks with Derek. They spent the next hour window shopping, and Carolyn told her to wait until after the shower to buy things for the baby…but, even she could not resist several items they both agreed were too adorable to pass up. Carolyn linked her arms through Meredith, when she seemed to just slightly lose her balance when she got up from one of the mandatory sitting breaks. "You know, when I was pregnant with my first two, fashion was not big on pants, so I spent a good deal in dresses and heels, so I'm glad things have changed, you're smart to only use flats at this point."

"Carolyn," Meredith said, as they walked arms linked, to their car, leaving the warmth of the mall behind to drive to Meredith's favorite restaurant. "I'm glad you're here…and that you're staying."

"Meredith," Carolyn said, "while I'm here, you'll have to tell me all your favorite dishes…so I can cook and leave some frozen meals for you…you don't have to worry about cooking."

"Carolyn," Meredith smiled as she took another bite of lasagna, "you know I don't cook."

"I know," her mother in law told her, "it's meant so Derek doesn't have to cook either, and he can devote all his time to taking care of you."

"He does not stop…" Meredith smiled, "hovering…and pampering me…"

"He's done a good job," Carolyn said, "from all I hear from Nancy, your check ups have been wonderful, not even any significant swelling of your hands and feet."

"Everyone kept saying I wouldn't be able to wear any rings…" her fingers traced the wedding band and engagement ring.

"Meredith," Carolyn said suddenly, her eyes filled with emotion. "I know…that something happened that made you change your mind…about wearing my engagement ring…the girls won't say it…but they won't deny it either…but, it means so much to me…that you chose to wear it…even if for just a little bit…because, Derek's father always meant for him to have…to give to the right girl…to his soul mate….so thank you…for honoring what it meant to us…to our marriage."

"If you'd like," Meredith said, moved deeply by her words, "it could be a tradition…we could pass it on to our son…"

"To your first son…for his wife…" Carolyn smiled, "I would like that."

"I'll have to tell Derek…"

"Meredith," Carolyn said, "just…make sure…that you follow your heart…like I did…and choose the right girl to wear it…it's not always the first one…"

"Carolyn…" Meredith's eyes, "do you believe he's happy…Derek…with me…"

"Oh, sweetheart…I have no doubts…from the very first moment I met you…"

"Thank you," Meredith said, as she reached out to place her hand on top of Carolyn's.

"Dr. Grey," an elderly gentleman approached the table. "Dr. Shepherd called," he placed a piece of cheesecake in front of her, "he wanted us make sure we had this for you. He seemed sure you'd be stopping by for lunch."

"He knows me pretty well," Meredith smiled, "thank you Joseph. Mom," she said without thinking, "this is our favorite restaurant and Joseph has kept me supplied with cheesecake weekly," she smiled at the charming restaurant owner. "Joseph, this is Derek's Mom."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Shepherd, they are one of my favorite couples."

"You called me Mom," Carolyn said to her when the owner walked away.

"I'm sorry…" Meredith said immediately, "I didn't mean to offend you…I didn't even realize it."

"Sweetheart," Carolyn smiled at her and put her hand over hers, "I'd love for you to think of me that way…because, I'm already thinking of you as my daughter," and both women had sentimental tears in their eyes, as yet another layer of depth was added to an ever strengthening foundation.

Carolyn texted Derek on their way home, and he was waiting for his wife and mother in the driveway, and escorted Meredith to their bedroom. She was not to join them downstairs until it was time for the shower, and he helped her get in the lavender filled bath he'd drawn for her, before helping her out and leaving her settled comfortably in bed; after a much needed massage of her back and aching feet.

"I love you," he kissed her, "both of you…" he placed his lips on her belly. "Let mommy take a nap princess."

Meredith woke about a half hour later, certain someone was watching her, and there was; she smiled as she felt a small tiny hand on her belly.

"Hi Meghan," Meredith said and smiled softly at the little girl by her bed, who quickly pulled her hand back.

"I waked you up," Meghan said, "I sorry…"

"It's ok…" Meredith told her, "I was awake…I only had my eyes closed for a little bit."

"Cause you take a nap…cause of the baby in your tummy…like my mommy."

"That's right," Meredith said; uncertain of how you talked to a three year old.

"Mommy's sleeping…in the bed where Granma sleeps…cause she was tired…and Aunty Maggie said a bad word…I gots to tell Granma and she told Mommy to get to bed and stay out of the way."

"Do you think your Mommy is going to worry ...if she wakes up and you're not with her?"

"No…" the little girl told her, "cause of…all my aunties and Granma and Aunt Pat are here…so Mommy is not worried… I not alone…and Uncle D…promised me ice cream if I kept Mommy company."

"He did," Meredith smiled, thinking she'd like some ice cream herself.

"I knows a secret supwise…" Meghan smiled.

"You do…do you want to tell me?"

"I not supposed to…it's a pretty secret…"

"So…there's a secret but you can't tell anyone."

"I not supposed to tell you…cause of everyone knows…but not you."

"Ok…" Meredith smiled. "Do you think I'll like the secret?"

"It's a really pretty pretty supwise," the little girl beamed.

"I can wait then," Meredith smiled.

"You be my Aunty Merwewith…"

"I am," Meredith smiled at the way the little girl said her name.

"Katie…she's my big sister…and I love her lots and lots…like my baby sister…Katie and me love her lots and lots and we gets to feel her moving sometimes, my big sister…she told me…something…"

"What did Katie tell you," Meredith remained on her side, her hand following the baby's movements.

"She tolds me…I can call Uncle Deker …Uncle D…and we practiced…your name…but it's hard…but Katie can say it better…she tolds me…I could call you Aunty M…cause of it's easier…"

"You can call me Aunty M…" Meredith smiled, marveling at how her life had changed in just a few short months, and now, here was this precious child in her room calling her Aunty M…she'd never had anyone call her an Aunt before, and she loved being part of his family. Hormones, she smiled, had definitely made her a sentimental softie.

"Aunty M…" Meghan stopped herself from touching her stomach, "Mommy says…I not supposed to ask ladies if they have a baby in their tummy…cause sometimes…ladies are fat… but Daddy says…ladies that have babies in their tummies are beautiful…"

"Your daddy's very smart…"

"Aunty M…" the little girl said, "I think you're beautiful…"

"Oh, sweetie," Meredith shifted slightly, and ran her hands through the little girl's curls. "I think you're beautiful too."

"Aunty M," Meghan asked, "can I touch your belly…and see if my baby cousin is moving?"

"Of course you can," Meredith told her, and reached for her tiny hand, and placed it right where her baby was moving.

"Aunty M…" the little girl exclaimed, "my baby cousin kicks harder than my baby sister."

"That's probably," Meredith said smiling, just as Derek stood in the doorway, amazed and delighted at the exchange that was taking place, "because your baby sister is smaller, she's going to be born about three weeks after you cousin."

"Mommy said I got to love my baby cousin lots and lots…cause…it's my baby cousin…like my big cousins…cause of…Uncle D is her brother and Mommy loves him and my Aunty Maggie…and Aunt Nancy…and Aunt Kathleen…lots and lots…"

"Meghan," Meredith said, still unaware Derek was watching, "your baby cousin is going to love you lots and lots…I'm going to hell her all about you…"

"Aunty M…you gots a baby girl in your tummy…"

"No sweetie…I'm not sure…we won't know until the baby is born."

"But…you said she…" Meghan pointed out.

"Sometimes I say she," Meredith told her, "others I say he," explaining further.

"You don't look at the baby picture in your tummy?"

"We did, but we still don't know if it's a boy or a girl."

"Aunty M…" Meghan continued, "can I kiss your tummy…so my baby cousin knows I love him lots and lots…"

"Yes, you can," Meredith said, and tears gathered in her eyes when she felt the little girls tiny lips on her stomach.

"Aunty M…are you gonna have three babies like my mommy?"

"Oh…sweetie," Meredith smiled, "I don't know…this is my first baby…and your Uncle Derek and I will decide about that later…"

Meghan was silent before she spoke, making Derek chuckle, and unable to keep his presence quiet any longer. "Cause Uncle D has to kiss you lots and lots and sleep in the same bed with you…"

"Tell us," Derek smiled, "Aunty M…just how does that happen…"

"I'll let your Uncle Derek explain it to you sweetie…" Meredith smiled at him.

"You know what," Derek lifted the little girl in his arms, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, obviously the hours spent together today had make her lose most of her shyness around him. "I think it's time for that ice cream I promised you…"

"It's got to be chocolate…" Meghan smiled at him.

"I think we can take care of that…" he said, "do you want to wait here for me…and I'll bring some ice cream for you both?"

"I keep Aunty M…and my baby cousin company…but you gots to bring Mommy ice cream too Uncle D…"

"I can do that," Derek told her.

"Meghan," Meredith said, as she shifted closer to the middle of the bed, "do you want to sit here with me?"

"And I can feel my baby cousin again," she asked her, her eyes wide in anticipation.

"You can," Meredith said, and the little girl sat next to her and automatically laid down facing her, her little hand on Meredith's belly, and when Derek returned, he found his sister standing in the doorway, a smile on her face, her hands lovingly caressing her abdomen, and turned to him, placing a finger on her lips, indicating he should be quiet.

Derek smiled as well, as he saw Meredith lying on her side, snoring softly, and a quieter, smaller version of snoring as his niece had snuggled against his wife, her tiny hands on her stomach, while Meredith's arm rested gently on the little girl's back.

"I guess," he whispered, as he pulled the door forward with one hand, the other holding a tray with three small bowls of ice cream, "this will wait."

"Why," Jenna took the tray from him, and walked to her mother's room.

"That's for three people…" Derek said.

"I'm eating for two…" Jenna smiled, "and Meggie's portion was small."

"You're going to eat all that…"

"Join me big brother," Jenna's eyes became soft with tears, "I've missed you," and he did, and they spent the next half hour talking, as he too had been told to remain upstairs until he escorted both Meredith and Jenna at three o'clock, and not one minute before.

"Derek," Meredith turned to him, still wearing a robe as she applied very light eye makeup. "If I keep gaining…which I'm supposed to the last six weeks…we're going to have to move downstairs…so I don't roll down them…with all this extra fat…"

"You are all baby…there's not an ounce of fat in you…and I know…every inch of your body," he slipped his hands inside her robe, "intimately."

"Just," she giggled, "like you were able to tell I was pregnant…"

"Ok…that's a low blow…" he teased her, and hugged her.

"Why can't I go in the nursery? she asked him, "I bought things…I want to put in there."

"So did my sisters, and they don't want you to go in there till after the shower…or during the shower…or whenever they say, and I sure as hell am not messing with all of them."

"Derek…" she kissed him, "the baby can hear now…"

"Princess," Derek leaned down to kiss her now exposed belly, "we love you…that's what you hear…isn't that right…" and the baby delighted them both as she rolled with perfect timing.

"I can't get over how she rolls," he kept her hand on her body, "it's amazing…"

"It is," Meredith smiled.

"Meredith," Jenna knocked on her door, "you need to get ready…no S-E-X…if I can't have Rob here…than you have to be celibate too this weekend."

"Jenna," they heard Pat's voice, "leave them alone…if they can manage that before the shower at her stage of pregnancy…let them enjoy it."

"She's quite a character," Meredith giggled, "she's great."

"She thinks you're pretty great too."

"I'm glad…" Meredith admitted to him, "she didn't feel the same way about …"

"Mer…she's exactly as you see…no pretenses…speaks her mind…"

"She and Cristina were hilarious with their banter last night."

"You should have seen them this morning, Cristina is adopting her, told her she was way more fun than her mother."

"Cristina is here?"

"So are Lexie and Mark, helping get everything ready."

"Derek…how much was there to do? It's only a shower…some gifts…"

"Mer," he chuckled, "you have no idea…"

"I never expected…I mean…it's so much trouble."

"It's no trouble at all," he said. "They're all enjoying it tremendously."

"I don't want to put anyone out…"

"You're not…" he kissed her, "see…" he smiled as the baby rolled again, "our princess agrees…"

"Derek…our son…I've already told you, is not going to like to be called a princess."

"I'm not calling him a prince…that's…"

"Oh God…no…" Meredith laughed.

"Meredith," Patricia's voice was now accompanied by a knock, "you have twenty minutes. We expect you to be ready on time."

"Twenty minutes," she smiled suggestively at him. "Remember what we used to be able to do in twenty minutes…"

"Fondly…and we do pretty well still…"

"Derek…" she giggled, "I'm not…going to look like I've just been mcdreamied."

"Mcdreamied…" Derek kissed her, "Cristina's been talking about me again."

Meredith laughed and hugged him, "I love you…so much."

"I love you," he kissed her again, "I adore you…Meredith."

"I have to get dressed…" she told him.

"Go ahead," he told her, slipping her robe off her, "I've seen you naked before."

_A/N 7JUN10 - If you're read this far, thanks for your continued support of this story. If you're still interested in its closing chapter(s), your comments will become very relevant..._

_P.s. I also opted to write an "emotional sentimental pregnant" Meredith; could not bring myself to write a whiny, immature, suffering from every complication, pregnant Meredith._


	24. Chapter 24

_A/N 14 JUN - Good evening. I can't tell you what an absolute disappointment it is to see over 1200 hits in less than 24 hrs and less than 2 comments. My apologies to everyone that has read, and obvioulsy been disappointed, given the last chapter has not been worth more than 2 comments. _

_There is nothing more inspiring and encouraging than a comment; while nothing as disappointing and discouraging as getting none at all. _

_The story is completed. Given the response, I'm not sure there is enough interest to warrant posting it. Respectfully, Jasmin_

_A/N 13JUN Disclaimer – definitely don't own Grey's…but some of these characters are my very own creation, fueled by what I'd like to see on Grey's. If you've read my other stories, and find familiar character traits, it's got to do with liking continuity in story telling and remembering certain details…to the best of my ability._

_It should be no surprise, this last chapter turned to two; it is now completed, but I did not want to post any of it until the last scene was written. _

_Thanks for reading. _**I mentioned last time, to those of you that comment, your support is truly significant as the story comes to its conclusion.**

_Will post the second part sometime this week, as I do need to go back and edit for spelling/grammar. Warm regards, Jasmin._

**_Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 24_**

Cristina looked over to Patricia and smirked when Meredith and Derek walked in the living room, holding hands and twenty minutes late; Jenna and Maggie laughed, Kathleen and Nancy smiled; Lexie shook her head and Carolyn shrugged. Mark roared with laughter and turned to hug Lexie whispering something in her ear that made her laugh.

Meredith looked around her living room, turned to Derek, buried her face in his neck and cried. "Mer…" he soothed, "you don't like it…it's too much…we can fix it…"

"No," she said, "it's…beautiful…"

"Aunty M…" Meghan was at her side almost right away, "don't cry…you look so pretty…just like Mommy…don't cry…but if you have a booboo…Uncle D can kiss it better…right Uncle D?"

"I'm ok," Meredith turned to the little girl, who was looking at her with worry. "Meggie, they're happy tears…"

"Cause of my baby cousin…"

"Yes…sweetie…but they're very happy tears," she said and hugged Derek closer.

"I seats with you Aunty M…and with Mommy…ok? Cause Uncle D…has to go…that's what Aunt Pat…and Aunt Kathleen tolds him and Uncle Mark too."

"You can sit with me," Meredith bent slightly to kiss her check, "and be my helper opening up gifts…ok…" she told her, overwhelmed by the amount of gifts she saw around the living room and the guests that were present, many more than she'd expected; including Debbie who Meredith would joke later was the only nurse allowed to see her husband naked; Bokey and of course the expected guests included Bailey, Callie, Arizona, Teddy and Mrs. Hunt.

Meredith and Derek greeted everyone before it was made clear he and Mark were no longer needed. "I'll see you later," he kissed her softly. "I love you."

"Did you bring down all of Jenna's things?" Meredith asked him.

"I did," he said, "Kathleen took care of it," and with one more kiss he reluctantly left.

Meredith continued to be sentimental and emotional, as was Jenna when she realized her sister in law had insisted it was a joint shower…and her sisters had known and kept it from her; though they'd been somewhat practical and only sent five gifts each for Jenna's baby when they began shipping everything for Meredith and the baby to Mark and Lexie's place. Jenna adamantly insisted that it was Meredith's first shower; it was meant to be in her honor…and after a momentary impasse, finally accepted that it was truly Meredith's wish to celebrate together.

They'd been opening gifts, with Meghan's help, when she opened one from Mrs. Hunt and looked at her and tears gathered. "It's beautiful," Meredith said, as she looked at the handmade quilt in pastel colors, suitable for either a boy or girl, eight squares depicting much loved nursery rhymes, "thank you."

"It's just the right size for a crib," Mrs. Hunt told her, "as the baby gets older, if you have a different theme you want…I will do that," she smiled, "hopefully, I will have other babies before than to make one for," she looked at Cristina, and Patricia leaned over to her and said something, as they took a pause when Meredith had to get up and go to the bathroom.

"Mrs. Hunt," Cristina followed her to the kitchen, "that was beautiful…the quilt is…"

"Cristina," Mrs. Hunt said, "I know I sound like an old meddling woman…and I could be…but what I most want is for my son to be happy. He seems happy with you, and as a mother, I'd hope one day to have grandchildren…but I won't become a nag…and I will accept whatever is your decision. Owen always spoke of having a family and I'd think he still wants that. But, I know my son, and I believe, what he most wants is you. He's home…he survived a war I thought he'd never come back from," she paused briefly, emotional over the subject matter.

"I've always been sure," Cristina told her, "I didn't want kids."

"I've always been sure," Mrs. Hunt said, "of how much I love my son. He's alive, that is enough. If you two are happy…together…that is enough."

"We've never talked about it," Cristina surprised herself with the comment.

"Take your time," Mrs. Hunt told her, "and don't pay attention to an old woman."

"Thank you," Cristina told her, "for not judging me."

"You brought him back to my door…" Mrs. Hunt smiled at her, "that is enough."

Jenna, whose baby was technically the second recipient, opened over forty gift items; five each from her sisters, a handful from her aunt and mother and a few from Cristina and Lexie; Meredith had at least ten presents for her, as during the time she spent shopping with Lexie preparing for the baby's room, she'd end up falling in love with an item, and she'd get one for herself and Jenna.

Derek's sisters had thought about every possible thing Meredith and the baby would need, and they spent hours opening big boxes that held practical things, and small boxes or gift bags with tiny items that usually made Meredith sentimental, while tears, smiles and laughter coexisted and Jenna followed suit or vice versa.

Jenna knew she was having a girl and the gifts were appropriately dainty and girly; Meredith's, surprisingly were a fairly equal combination leaning towards a girl and neutral items; Patricia, ever practical, included adorable boy outfits.

"Aunt Pat," Meredith said, "everyone thinks I'm having a girl…well Mom does," Carolyn smiled at the unexpected reference, "and Jenna and Lexie and of course Derek, but…you're the only one that really got something for a boy."

"I tend to agree with Carolyn, a girl with your eyes and Derek's hair," Patricia said.

"But," Cristina said, "you got something for a boy? She's not having twins."

"But, she'll be having a boy…" Patricia said. "She can hold on to it. I'm just not sure if she has a girl this time or next."

"Pat," Cristina said, "I don't think Mer's going to be too keen on another one anytime soon…after going through 30 hours of labor…"

"What…" Meredith raised her voice, "thirty hours of labor…why would you say that…Cristina that's mean and nasty…wishing that on me…and to think I was considering…"

"Don't blame me," Cristina finished chewing on the bite she'd just taken of one of Kathleen's recipe's. "Sister Trouble," she used Mark's nickname, "is the one that told me she'd been in labor thirty hours the first time…and …"

"Meredith," Nancy said, "don't pay any attention to her. Aunt Pat's a wimp, and she was probably counting Braxton Hicks and thought she was in labor. In fact, she's been banned from being anywhere near her daughter in law when she's had her kids."

"Nancy," Patricia turned to her, "you are distorting the truth; that spoiled upper east side snob is a bitch."

"Granma…oh my goodness…Granma…you gots to wash Aunt Pat's mouth out with soap," she said clearly upset, "twice Granma…cause of she's a nun…and God will get really mad at her…cause Tommy tolds me and lightning strikes her house and it gets full of fire…and all her hair comes off she gots to wear the hat forever…"

Everyone muffled their laughter, including Meghan's aunts who'd heard the comment before. Meredith and Lexie were horrified that someone would say that to a three year old. "Sweetie," Kathleen said, "we told you that Tommy was just kidding, he wasn't being very nice when he repeated what his mother said."

"I knew the moment he met her she was trouble," Pat mumbled, "one of my sons married to a woman like that…his father has probably turned in his …"

"Pat," Carolyn said, "little pitchers…"

"Meggie, sweetie," Patricia told her, "Aunt Pat's sorry she said a very bad word, and you're right, nuns have to be extra careful in not using bad words, because they have to set a good example," her nieces' snickering were too obvious to ignore. "Your Granma is going to wash my mouth out with soap twice…" she turned to Cristina who was sitting next to her and whispered, "get me a double of Derek's finest."

Meredith was amazed at the amount of thought her hospital colleagues had dedicated to their gifts, which included and everyone loved, boy and girl versions of tiny scrubs for newborns, six month old babies and toddlers.

Bailey, ever practical, gave her a box filled with every possible item she'd need when she packed things for the baby before dropping them off at day care, and told her to make it her spare one and keep it Derek's office, because surely, one day she'd forget and have to get back in the car and drive home to get it, and this just made it easier.

Hours after the celebration began, delayed by much necessary explanations sometimes in regard to the purpose of the items, the afternoon was drawing to a close, and as much as Megan had enjoyed helping with the gifts, it also become obvious all the attention was on Meredith and Jenna and their babies. "Granma," she walked away from the couch and held her arms up to be picked up, "when I was in my Mommy's tummy did Mommy gets lots and lots of baby gifts for me…and for Katie?"

"Yes you did," Carolyn hugged her, "you got so many gifts…we had to have four cars take everything over to your house…and it took many days to put it all away."

"Cause you love babies when they still in their mommy's tummy?"

"That's right sweetie," Carolyn kissed the top of her youngest grandchild's head, "we love you from the moment we know you're growing in the Mommy's tummy."

"That's cause why all the baby gifts are for the babies…"

"That's right, so we can make sure the babies have all they need when they come home."

Meredith had half listened to the conversation and asked Lexie to bring two boxes over to her. "Meghan," Meredith said, "can you help me open one more gift?"

"You can open it…Mommy can help you," the little girl said, "I help lots and lots."

"She can," Meredith said. "But you see, this one is for you, and I think you'll want to open it."

"You gots me a gift?" The little girl said, and turned to her grandmother. "Granma you said it was only gifts for the babies in the tummy."

"That's usually what happens," Carolyn smiled at Meredith, "but it looks like your Aunt Meredith thinks there was a very special little girl here."

"Aunty M…" Meghan ran to her, "you gots me a gift…but I not a baby…"

"No, but you're a very special little girl," Meredith ran her hand through her curls, "and you're the very first little girl that ever called me Aunty."

"You gots me a special gift," Meghan said, "cause you love me?"

"Because Uncle Derek and I love you very much…"

"I gots two presents," she said as she looked at the other box by Meredith's side.

"One is for you," Meredith said, "the other is for your sister Katie. Since you're both going to do such a good job helping your Mommy take care of your baby sister, so that makes you both very special little girls."

"We takes this to Katie?"

"Yes, you take this home for Katie," Meredith told her, as she helped the little girl climb on the couch and kneel next to her.

"I love you lots Aunty M…" the little girl hugged her.

"I love you too sweetie," Meredith hugged her back, feeling her own baby kicking away, "and your baby cousin is letting me know that she's going to love very much too. Do you want to open your present?"

"Mommy…" Meghan exclaimed, "look…" she took out a doll that had an outfit exactly like the one found in the box, "she's got a dress like mine…"

"She sure does, and she's just as pretty as you are…what do you say?"

"Aunty M…" Meghan smiled and threw her arms around her.

"Careful Meggie," her mother warned, "remember there's a baby there…"

"Sorry," the little girl said and leaned to kiss Meredith's tummy, "baby…"

"Thank you," Jenna reached for Meredith's hand and squeezed it. "It means a lot to me."

There had been enough food for three times as many people and Carolyn and Patricia made sure everyone took something home; Jenna told her aunt not to give away any more cupcakes, and the woman turned to her and hugged her and laughed, "you are a glutton Jenna Patricia."

"I'm not," Jenna told her, "your grandniece is…"

The celebration had come to an end, and other than family, only Mrs. Hunt remained. Cristina had told her to wait for Owen, as the men were now officially allowed to join them, and there was more than enough food for dinner.

Derek walked in and was shocked by the amount of paper that had been accumulated in garbage bags and the food that remained as well as the amount of gifts that had taken over their living room. But first went to kiss his wife. "Do we have enough room in the house for all this?" he joked.

"Derek," Nancy said, "you should have known what to expect... the first Shepherd grandchild and nephew or niece…"

"Shit Shep…there's enough here," Kathleen smacked Mark, "what the hell…"

"Lucky for you Meghan is not here right now, or you'd be on your way to washing your mouth out three times…" Kathleen told him.

"Three times," Lexie laughed, "more than a nun?"

"He's a repeat offender," Patricia said, "has been since the day Derek brought him home."

"Mer," Derek turned back to her, "there's enough here for a lot of kids…"

"Don't be ridiculous Derek," Jenna said, "we only made sure you had everything you need for the baby's first month...you won't have to visit a single store to get anything during the first 30 days…after that, big brother…get ready for diaper duty…and whatever else Mer thinks she'll need."

"You've got to be joking," Mark said, "there's enough here for 3 kids for a whole year."

"You would know this," Maggie teased him, "of course…because you have the experience of caring for fourteen kids…do tell us Mark," she taunted, "about your children."

"Shep, we should have let her become a nun, instead of asking John to kiss her so she'd see what she'd be missing."

"You did what?" Derek was stunned.

"Oh…yeah…sorry man…I may have told him …"

"Derek," Maggie went over to hug him, "thank God he did…"

"Derek," Cristina said to him, "Mer thought she had to worry about crappy genes…but…now she has to worry about yours too," and everyone shared in good natured laughter.

"Mer," Derek sat next to her, and immediately his hand searched for the baby's movements, "the baby's going to need a bigger room."

"Meredith," Jenna said, "all I can say is that when you have another one…you are coming back east so the rest of the family can participate too…"

"Rest of the family…" Meredith said, "what do you mean?"

"You have to meet the cousins, even if Aunt Pat's are our favorites…but there's some Shepherds too…and you're going to love Alice and Grace…and…"

"When we have another one," Derek said, "I thought showers were for the first baby."

"Derek," Nancy said, "where have you been the last twenty years…there's been a shower for each baby… even if it's just family…"

"The first one was here," Jenna said, "next shower we do at home…we only bring out the troops for the first baby. At least…that's the way I feel right now about flying to Seattle another time, as this acrobat kicking the hell out of me…"

"Mommy…Granma is listening…"

"Hey sweetie," she smiled with amusement, "sorry Mom, I won't do it again. Weren't you going to put your new baby to sleep upstairs?

"She's tired Mommy…but she didn't like being all by herself…"

"Meghan," Nancy picked her up, "why don't you sit with me…and then your baby doll will have lots of company," she cuddled her, knowing she was long overdue for a nap, and the little girl smiled at her Aunt, "she's a pretty baby Aunt Nancy…"

"She is," Nancy said, "your Aunt Meredith got you a beautiful doll," she felt the little girl snuggle up to her, and before long, she'd fall asleep in her aunt's arms.

"Jenna," Patricia said, "you're becoming brainless like your brother…even if we're only flying out for the first shower…there's going to be at least two more here."

"Aunt Pat," Maggie said, "I don't think Mer appreciates what you're suggesting."

"What," Meredith asked, "is she suggesting?"

"I guess…that there's another first baby…"

"Mary Margaret," Patricia scolded, "good Lord, are you sure you are not pregnant…that is the most ridiculous thing you've ever said…suggesting…" everyone looked at her.

"Aunt Pat," Meredith said, "I'm not understanding."

"Mary Margaret is being dense, implying there will be another Mrs. Shepherd."

"Maggie," Meredith said, "are you kidding? Is that what you were suggesting?"

"It's not me…it's her…don't blame me…Mark is right, Sister Instigator and Troublemaker…"

"I was suggesting, no," Pat interrupted herself. "I was not…I was stating a fact…there's another two first showers we will need to be here for…Lexie and Cristina," and the room was silent for what seemed like an extended period of time.

"We know she gambles, cheats and bets on anything," Cristina said, "does she also drink?"

The room roared with laughter. "Actually," Carolyn said, "she's been known to do that too. Keep in mind, she had six kids."

"Carolyn," Patricia smiled at her sister, "twenty one…plus a handful more."

"I guess," Carolyn said, "we'll be here…for two more showers.

"Why," Mark asked as gulped down his beer, "would you be here if Yang has a shower?"

"Carolyn," Patricia addressed her sister, "there truly is something seriously wrong with these kids' grey matter. Mark, Cristina has adopted me," she winked, "of course I have to be here when she has her first child…we all do, when she adopted me, she gets the whole Shepherd clan."

Mrs. Hunt smiled at her son, who had no clue what to make of it all.

"Pat," Cristina said, "I can almost…almost…say it would be worth it; to have one and see my mother's face with a nun at the baby shower."

"I think," Meredith giggled, "just the idea of a baby shower would be worth the look of shock on her face."

"Aunt Pat," Cristina said, shocking everyone as well, "will you be the baby's godmother?"

"You may only need one trip then," Mark said. "I don't know if I'm having kids."

"Who said Lexie's kids have to be yours?" Patricia smiled at him.

"Ouch," Cristina said.

"You'll be saying a lot more than ouch…while in childbirth," Patricia told her.

"I'm not…"

"Cristina dear," Carolyn said, "don't argue with her. She's never wrong."

"I need a drink," Cristina mumbled, and went for Derek's finest.

Meredith leaned into Derek and reached for his hand, "that will be a sight…"

"I'm moving out of Seattle," Derek whispered in her ear. "If she's ever pregnant."

"I'm moving with you," she giggled, "and not telling her where."

"Likely story," he hugged his wife, "you'll be there through every moment of it."

"Derek…is your Mom joking, about her not being wrong?"

"Uhmmm…you know those feelings I get … chalk it up to the Maloney family…"

"The nun is psychic?" Meredith turned to him.

"Some people would say that," he told her.

"What would you say?"

"She doesn't often say anything," Derek told her. "In fact, she rarely does. But… when she gets those feelings…"

Mrs. Hunt drove home with plenty of food. She joked, that she he had enough baked goods to freeze for the next three meetings with her church group.

"Time to clean up," Maggie said, "guys…you've all eaten and have liquor in hand, let's get started. Everyone helps except the pregnant women…"

"Aunt Nancy," Meghan said a bit sleepy, "does I help too?"

"No honey," Maggie answered first, "you've been a great help all afternoon opening presents. You get to keep your new doll company."

"She's not a doll Aunty Maggie," Meghan told her, "she's a doll baby…"

"That's true," Maggie told her and picked her up and hugged her. "I only have boys at home, so I don't look at dolls very often."

"You can gets a little baby girl…if Uncle John kisses you lots and lots…and sleeps in your bed with you all the time."

"Jenna," Maggie laughed, "you're teaching s-e-x 101…already."

"At least I didn't say it's the stork…" she laughed, "like Mom told Kathleen."

"I've never seen so much paper…how many trees did you kill…" Derek commented.

"Derek," Nancy said, "you can live in the woods…don't kill your trees…we didn't kill any…we just bought the wrapping paper," she teased him, and leaving Meghan with her mother, went to hug him, "for our baby brother's first baby…"

"There's actually a few more," Carolyn said. "We were waiting for you to go upstairs."

"I forgot," Meredith said, "about a secret I can't know about."

"I tolds you Aunty M…you had to wait till the party…Granma can I shows her please?"

"I think you can lead the way," Derek told her, as he helped his wife and then his sister from the couch, and his niece grabbed his wife's hand and led her up the stairs.

"I've gots to wait for everybody," Meghan told her, "cause that's what Uncle D said."

"Ok," Meredith smiled at Derek, "we can wait a few more minutes…"

"Actually," Lexie said, "close your eyes…and you can't open them till we tell you."

"Lexie…I'm not walking with my eyes closed…"

"I've got you," Derek put his arm around her, "close your eyes…we've got a nosy family and they all want to see your reaction…"

"Derek…what have you done?"

"I didn't do anything…they all did…well, I did something…"

Derek felt a light smack at the back of the head, "stop talking…" Kathleen told him, "we're all here. Meggie you can open the door, Meredith close your eyes."

"Trust me," he whispered, "I've got you," he said as he led her to the corner of the room, "you're going to sit down…ok…" he said as he guided her body to sit in the rocking chair, and leaned down to kiss her before he squatted in front of her, "you can open your eyes."

Meredith did, and first met his, then she looked around and a soft gasp was heard by everyone, "Derek…" her eyes filled with tears, "it's…it's all here…"

"It is," he leaned in to brush her lips.

"When…" she began to look around, "Derek…it's beautiful…it's all here," and much like earlier that afternoon when she'd walked in and seen all they'd done for her shower, she buried her face in the crook of his neck and cried softly as he pulled her to him and caressed her back, whispering tender loving words.

"You…" she finally looked up and wiped away her tears, "all of you…did this…" she looked at the baby furniture they'd picked out, in exactly the place they'd discussed, including the bassinet; but now, there were six different themes for the nursery they could pick from; one from each of their sisters; half for a boy…half for a girl."

"We thought," Jenna told her, "since the room is neutral, you already told us that…so you can change the room if you want every couple of months…a gift from each of the baby's aunts during the baby's first year."

"Meredith," Lexie said, "do you like it…you can go with your own idea…we all talked about it…that none of us will be upset…if you go with something different."

"No," Meredith said, reaching for Derek's hand to help her up, "it's lovely, all of it. I can't believe you all did this…thank you…it's …" she bit her lip, biting back tears, "thank you."

"Aunty M," Meghan went to her side, "you gotrs happy tears…right…cause it's a nice surprise."

"Yes, sweetie…they are happy tears."

"I helped Uncle D…and we picked this one for the crib today…"

"It's perfect," Meredith said, reaching for Derek's hand, and brining it to her belly, "the baby thinks so too," she smiled as she looked at his choice, and then the rest of them.

"Sit down," Carolyn told her, when she saw her put her hand to her lower back, "we've got something else for you."

Meredith did as she was told, and would look back over the years and never fail to smile as she recalled the exact moment they all became sisters, not just sisters in law.

"This gift," Carolyn said, "we worked on together for our newest family member…"

"I don't think there's enough room in my lap," Meredith joked as she held the flat box and tried to balance it on her belly.

"Derek," Maggie told him, "help her."

"I forgot how bossy you all are," Derek said, as their family from both coasts remained in the room, while Owen Hunt wondered if he'd ever find himself in a similar situation, in a nursery waiting for the birth of his child, surrounded by friends and family.

Derek lifted the lid, and held the open box for Meredith to open and as she lifted the first garment, her eyes filled with tears, "oh…Derek…look…this is precious…Derek…look how tiny…and dainty…and perfect…" she said as she held a finely knitted white garment with tiny buttons and on either side small white satin ribbon.

"Mom knit that," Nancy said, "and since she's going to be here when the baby is born, she'll replace the ribbon with either pink or blue…if you want…for the baby to wear this home."

"Oh yes," Meredith said, "of course I want that…the baby's homecoming outfit…made by his grandmother…yes…I want that," she wiped away the tears.

"Mom," Maggie hugged her, "she took Jenna's spot."

"Don't worry," Kathleen hugged her pregnant sister, "Jen…you'll make up for it…I'm sure of it," and her sister brought Kathleen's hand to her abdomen, "you're right…isn't she baby…Aunt Kathleen's probably right."

"There's more," Patricia said, and Meredith took another item out.

"Oh…" she continued to coo as if the baby were there, "these are adorable…"

"Mom," she said, and her husband choked up, "how long have you been knitting?"

"I told you sweetheart, it was a family project. Kathleen knitted the baby's cap, and Nancy the booties…again, we'll change the ribbons when the baby is born."

"They are so tiny…" Meredith sniffled, "I can't believe…"

"Aunty M…there's more there…cause of I seen it…at home…"

Meredith reached and took out one of two blankets, the first one in a soft pastel pink, that made her imagine a baby girl wrapped up and ready to come home. "Oh…Carolyn…this it's too much…everything you've done…I never imagined…" Derek touched her face, wiping the tears away, "all of this for …our baby."

"Mer," Kathleen said, "look at the last thing," and she did, and again tears gathered, as she saw the exact same blanket in the most beautiful of baby blues.

"You…made sure…whether it's a boy or a girl…" Meredith said, "Derek…look…she placed the blanket in his hands…how exquisite…look at the stitches…"

"It's all been washed," Carolyn said, "ready to be used, and we'll wrap it carefully till the baby is born."

"These are beautiful..." Meredith said.

"Nancy," Lexie said, "who knit the blankets?"

"Mom knit the pink," Nancy said, "Aunt Pat did the blue one."

"You did…" Meredith looked up, "you each did one…"

"They did," Maggie said, "and don't look to us…Jenna and I are useless at knitting."

"So is Mer," Cristina joked.

"We are," Jenna admitted, "but, we went and picked out the yarn and the colors and the pattern for each of these things."

"Not to mention," Patricia said, "the quality control was grueling…especially Jenna."

"It has to be perfect," Jenna told her, "and since we don't know when you've taken an extra sip of the Eucharistic wine…"

"Jenna," Carolyn said, "that is sacrilegious."

"Mom," Nancy laughed, "you know it's true."

"Pat," Carolyn said, "how can you stand there and let them say that about you," but her sister remained silent. "Merciful God! It's true…you dip into the wine…you'll be excommunicated for sure if the bishop hears of this."

"Carolyn," Patricia rolled shrugged, "I order the wine for the church…and until it's blessed, until consecration, it's only wine."

"Oh dear God…" Carolyn placed her hand over her heart, "no wonder Jenna always commented on how good the wine tasted…you …"

"Carolyn," Patricia said, "they only sipped it…and it does taste good, sweet …"

"You are a nun Patricia…a nun…how can you talk this way?"

"Granma…don't get mad at her…Daddy always gives her a hug when she brings over a bottle of wine."

"I order extra Carolyn, and I pay for it…I don't take it…" Patricia said, as her nieces laughed at their mother's reaction.

"If you ever…" Carolyn said, "talk to me about my irreverent children, I'm going to box your ears Patricia."

"Oh oh…" Meghan said and placed her hands her Mom's stomach, "Mommy…Aunty M… cover the baby's ears," and everyone laughed at the innocent comments of the adorable child.

Cristina and Owen were the first to leave, followed by Mark and Lexie who had an evening shift, but they were all getting together on Derek's land for a lunch barbecue the following day so all his sisters could see their land; their flight was a non-stop redeye.

"Aunt Pat," Meredith said, a long while later, as they said good night to everyone and his sisters were ready to leave. "Can you stay a little while…we'd like your help with something."

"Aunty M…I kiss my baby cousin goodnight, cause of we go to the hotel now," and she put both small hands on Meredith's belly and kissed it, "night baby cousin."

Stretching comfortably in sweats and t-shirt on the couch, Meredith had her back against the side of the sofa, her legs resting over Derek's lap, and he had his hand permanently attached to her belly, rubbing gentle circles as they followed the baby's movements.

"I'll see you tomorrow Pat," Carolyn told her sister, "thanks for all the help today."

"Mom," Derek said, "don't leave…we'd like your thoughts on this too," he said, and went on to explain that though they'd chosen a godfather, Meredith was stressing over the godmother issue.

"It's simple," Patricia said, after listening to them, from a religious perspective, Cristina is Jewish, she can't be a godparent, not officially in the Catholic church, remember…the role, is to teach religious teaching of the church. But, I understand neither of you practices, which is another matter altogether Derek Christopher. What you both want is to have someone that will, God forbid, if anything happens to you, take care of your child, help with their upbringing, guide them as you would."

Patricia walked them through their questions, including the fact neither was currently a practicing Catholic, or married in the church, but that baptism was not ever denied, as long as one of the parents consented and expressed his wish to have the child baptized, and there was reasonable hope the child would be brought up in the Catholic Church.

"I think," Patricia concluded, "we can safely say…the Bishop will not have an issue with this…and I hope, as I'm sure your Mother…who has remained very quiet…would love to have her newest grandchild baptized back home…in the same church all of you have been."

"We hadn't thought things that far in advance," Derek told her, "but will talk about it."

"Derek," Carolyn said, "Meredith, I would love for that to happen, but what is most important to me is that my children are happy. Whatever you decide, I will support your decision."

"What are you smiling at?" Meredith said, almost eight hours after they'd made their way downstairs, and they now lay facing each other in bed.

"I was thinking," Derek touched her face softly, "earlier this afternoon, Meghan kissing her baby cousin, and I could imagine our princess…kissing her Mommy's tummy, saying good night to our next baby…"

"Derek," Meredith told him, "have you taken a look at my size…at how uncomfortable the last few weeks have become? You're talking about another one…"

"I'm sorry about how uncomfortable you are," he rubbed her belly, "but…you are not that big Meredith…honestly…if you're sitting at a table, you can't even tell…the baby's been laying low on your belly…spread out…like she's got all the sideways room in the world."

"I know," Meredith giggled, "and it's time this little one starts thinking about getting into birthing position. But, Nancy said some babies literally wait till the last minute. Jenna is complaining because she's carrying high, and told me today it was just not fair, that no matter what angle you look at her she looks fat."

"I can't imagine how either of you think you look anything but beautiful, both of you…are not fat…just pregnant."

"That's what I told her," Meredith leaned in closer to kiss him.

"So…." Derek said, "our baby has a godmother…"

"Yes…" Meredith smiled, happy with their decision.

"Mer…when I walked in," he chuckled, "it looked like we could open a baby store."

"I know," she giggled, "Derek…they really bought us everything…that playpen was filled to the top with gifts…and diapers, baby wipes…a million things I didn't even know we needed."

"I think the only thing we need is a portable crib or whatever they called it…for my office," Derek laughed.

"Did you see the look on Mark's face," Meredith smiled, "when Aunt Pat said Lexie's kids didn't have to be his."

"Huh…" Derek said, "I did…how the mighty have fallen…"

"Do you think," Meredith asked, "he's serious about their relationship? I'm not sure Lexie's ready for more than they have right now."

"I think he is," Derek wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him, "and…I'll go as far as to say…I have a feeling…" and he shared his thoughts with his wife, and she shared her day with him.

"Derek," she kissed his lips tenderly, smiling, "I don't think they're going to let us live it down…that we were twenty minutes late…"

"It was worth it," he nibbled her lip, biting softly, playfully, before their kiss deepened.

"It's always worth it," she told him, "but…"

"But…" he said, "there's a but…to the amazing afternoon…"

"There's a but…because," she kissed him again, "I think we better get lots of sex when we can…because after the baby is born…we have six weeks of…"

"Hell…and frustration…"

"It's a good thing," she teased him, "Meggie's not around…or we'd be headed to wash out your mouth."

"Mer," he said, his eyes twinkling, "wouldn't it be great…to have a little girl with that kind of personality…"

"It would…" Meredith smiled at him, "and I get the feeling…even if we have a boy this time; that you'll get your wish…one day…"

"Mer," his eyes sparkled brighter, "you're talking about another baby…even tough…"

"I am…" she said, "this baby will have a sibling…Derek, being with your family…all these feelings and emotions are there…probably being pregnant makes me more sensitive, but Derek…I want our children to have each other…like you've had…and your Mom…" she got teary eyed, "she's staying…but you already know that…and I can't believe she'd want to…I mean…I do…but I've never had that…"

"I told you, you had nothing to worry about when she first came out here out of the blue to go on that cruise, and when she met you…she knew," he kissed her softly, "you were the one…she had no doubts."

"She told me," Meredith shared the conversation with him, "how pleased she was that I was wearing her ring."

Derek became quiet, "I'm sorry…"

"Don't you dare," Meredith told him, "brood about the past…today's been perfect…Derek…don't…"

"I wonder," he indeed was serious, "so often…if…"

Meredith pulled slightly away from him, and placed her hand over their baby, smiling at the tiny movements, "hey little one…I think Mommy needs your help, how about," she reached for his hand and placed it right where she'd just been elbowed or punched, "kicking some sense into Daddy…because he hadn't left me finish my story…and how I told your grandmother that we are going to honor her tradition," she locked gazes with Derek, "and that either you…or a baby brother…if you're Daddy is right and you're his princess…is going to get to give her engagement ring to his wife…"

"I love you," he said, sentimental and grateful tears filling his eyes, "you have no idea how much…"

"I think I do," she told him, guiding his hand to follow the baby, now rolling movements, "because I love you…just as much," she snuggled into him, "even…if I'm too exhausted tonight to show you."

"You've shown me," he said smiling, "twice…today…well in the last twenty four hours…and there's always tomorrow."

"Morning quickie," she smiled, "I'm counting on it…"

"I'm not," he kissed her.

"You're not…"

"Not a quickie," he said, and she snuggled contentedly into his arms.

"Good Lord Derek," late the following morning Patricia called out to her nephew from the trailer door, "what in the world is with all the lemons, here and at the house?"

"Mer's guzzling lemonade down by the gallons," Cristina told her, "and it's so sweet, you'd hardly know there's lemons in it," she said, and Derek and Meredith exchanged a smile. "I told her she should ask the doctor if it was healthy."

"I am not guzzling it down by the gallons," Meredith told her, "I have a glass a day…"

"Yeah…right…" Cristina smirked, "and the jug kept in McDreamy's office?

Everyone was dressed warmly and comfortably for the outdoors, most wearing jean or warm up suits with sneakers or boots for the wilderness, as Mark had joked to his sisters.

"Aunty Pat," Meghan ran over to sit with her, and cupped her face in her small hands, "I not like your hat…I like when you show your hair…you look real pretty …"

"Thank you Meggie," her great aunt smiled, she'd heard the same from her grandchildren, "but, it's my job…and I'm very proud to wear that hat, because I think it's very special…what it means…the reason I wear it."

"Cause you love God…and Jesus a lot…and you do lots of good things for people…"

"Yes," Patricia smiled at the child that had a little piece of their hearts as the youngest in the family for the last three years.

"Derek," Kathleen said when she joined Meredith and Derek near the wood deck; Derek had dragged Mark and Owen the day before while the shower was going on to get comfortable teak chairs and cushions for the barbecue. "The land is beautiful…and the spot where you'll build…the view is breathtaking. I can't wait for Kevin to see it."

"Give us a couple of years, and the house will be built…but you're welcome out here anytime. All of you," he said as Nancy and Maggie walked up with Mark, and he rubbed Meredith's belly as she sat back against him on the lounge chair.

"I can almost guarantee," Maggie told him, "John and the boys will love this…so we're going to take you up on it big brother…and come out in the summer and see you, and they can meet their new cousin and Aunt Meredith.

"Mommy," the little girl left Pat's side to go to her mother, "can I come visit with Aunty Maggie and stay at Aunty M's house…and help take care of my baby cousin?"

"We'll talk to Daddy about it," Jenna said, caressing the little girl's curls, as she lay on the lounge next to Meredith and Derek; her daughter's head on her stomach, "we'd miss you a lot if you came to visit…"

"But I can talk to you on the phone…and on the coputer like with Nana," she mentioned the often held calls to her paternal grandmother.

"We'll see sweetie…when we talk to Daddy…and how busy Aunt Meredith and Uncle Derek are at work."

"Ok Mommy…" the little girl settled herself and before long fell asleep.

"Mom," Jenna said, "will you take her? Derek, help me up?" He did, and she disappeared in the trailer for several minutes before joining them again. "Derek, Meredith…could I talk to you…maybe we can drive out to the cliff…like you said earlier."

"Careful," Derek said when they had reached the site for their home, "both of you," and had both women link their arms through his as they walked toward the cliff.

"It is a spectacular view," Jenna said, "I can see how you fell in love with it. Have you thought about how you'll build…the layout?"

Derek went on to tell his sister about their plans and Meredith smiled at how happy he'd been surrounded by family and knew, without any doubts, that she would make sure their children would grow up having a close relationship with his family, one she had also began to consider as hers.

"Derek," Jenna said, and he detected a bit of nervousness, "I wanted to talk to you…both of you…I've talked to Rob…and he agreed this would be a good time to do it…since I don't know when we'll see each other again…with both babies due soon…neither one of us is going to be traveling before summer probably…so…now's good…and…"

"Jen," Derek smiled at her, "if Mer's taken your place as our new family faucet…you're taking hers in rambling."

"Ass," both women said.

"I know you love me though," he smiled at them.

"Derek…" his sister placed her hand over his arm, "this is baby number three."

"I know," he smiled, "my baby sister has three little girls…"

"It's your turn, Derek…to be the godfather…Kathleen and Nancy are Katie and Meghan's, though you'd think it's Maggie…how she spoils them both, and I'm not sure if you want this…because we haven't talked about it…but…" her eyes watered, "I always imagined the day…when you would be…my baby's godfather…my only brother…and now…"

"Jen," he said, infinitely moved, "of course I want that…Jeni… it was the two of us…together for so long…just the two of us," he said, and his sister reached to hug him.

"Just the two of us…and Daddy," she said, acknowledging, as they very rarely did, the loss they'd witnessed together as kids. "You were my hero Derek," she hugged him tighter, "you still are," she said and remained in his arms for several minutes as Meredith watched, unsure of what their words had meant, but in spite of it, moved to tears by the closeness so evidently shared by the siblings, and as she rarely did, said a silent prayer that one day, their children would feel the same about each other.

"I love you Jeni," Derek said, his voice choked up with emotion. "I'd be honored…to be the godfather."

"I love you Derek…I've missed you so much."

"We'll make a point of visiting," he reached for Meredith's hand, drawing her close to him, "so the kids can get to know each other…and we spend time with all of you."

"Meredith," Jenna said, "I'd like you to be the godmother…if you want…and I hope you do…I really do…because ever since I met you…you're perfect for Derek…and the two of you together…I can't imagine better godparents for this baby…"

Meredith was speechless and Jenna misinterpreted her silence. "I understand…we don't really know each other…and it's a lot to ask…I didn't mean to put you on the spot."

"No…" Meredith said, "Jenna…no…I'm…I don't know what to say…I'm flattered…and honored," and her eyes watered, "and stunned…that you'd want me. I mean…you and Maggie…I thought you'd ask her…and…I'm …" she wiped away the tears.

"Maggie and I will take care of each other's children no matter what happens…no matter who the godmother is…but this baby…since I met you, I saw how you love my brother and you cared for him…every minute you spent watching over him…I knew…I wanted you to share this with him…because if you care about my child even a miniscule fraction of how you care for him…she will be a very lucky baby…and then," Jenna sniffled, "how you thought of my girls and got them a gift, without even knowing Meggie was coming with me…you have no idea how much that meant to me…and Rob…who had to hear me blubber on the phone telling him about it…"

"I…it didn't seem right," Meredith said, "that you go back with so many gifts for the new baby…and they didn't get anything…they should feel special too…that we cared about them."

"You've already managed to win over my baby," Jenna smiled, "she has never asked to be away from us…and she wants to help take care of her baby cousin…of course I think she's too young to realize Mommy will be many hours away…but Mer…she's already taken to you…more than Derek…"

"Rub it in," he told her.

"You know it's true…and you don't mind at all," Jenna smiled at him.

Meredith sniffled the as the tears remained, "my first godchild," she reached to place her hand on Jenna's stomach, "do you think she'll like that…"

"I definitely do," Jenna said, "she kicks the hell out of me all the time, but since we got here, I've noticed…all afternoon yesterday, when you talk to her, she just rolls…content and mellow…just like she is doing now…"

"Jenna," Meredith smiled, "I don't know a lot about being a godmother, but Aunt Pat said she'd make sure to teach me," her next words surprised her husband. "When she and Carolyn came over to fix breakfast this morning after mass, we talked a lot and she explained you usually baptize your babies before they're a month old…but…I don't know if I can do that…I mean, I don't want the baby traveling so tiny… so I was thinking, maybe late in the summer…Derek and I would fly east…so we can baptize the baby at the same church where you all have been…but if it's too late, maybe Derek can go by himself."

"Oh my God…" Jenna laughed and hugged her, "how do you even to that…I don't think you took a break to breathe and Mer…we really need to do that…hell, I'm out of breath all the time."

"It's her specialty," Derek teased, "and Jen you're not too far off…"

"Mer," Jenna said, "don't tell Mom or Aunt Pat…but, they're still old school and think the baby has to be baptized right away in case something happens…and nothing is going to happen to our babies…so if you want…oh God…Derek… can you imagine…how special it would be if we could baptize both babies together…"

"But…" Meredith said, "Aunt Pat…she thinks it has to happen right away…"

"Meredith," Jenna said, "if you're flying home in the summer…we are waiting to baptize my little girl with her cousin."

"You'd wait…" Meredith said.

"I cannot imagine," Jenna, needless to say was crying, "anything more special. Derek…can you?"

"Neither," he was truly choked up over his wife's and sister's wishes, "can I…"

"Oh Derek," Jenna hugged him, "Daddy…I know he's watching…and will be so happy…both our babies baptized together…where he and Mom got married too."

"Daddy will," he said, using the childhood name he hadn't uttered in years, and hugged his sister tightly, then reached for Meredith's hand and pulled her close to him.

"These girls," Jenna said, "are going to be great friends…I know they are…like sisters."

"You're very sure of that," Derek said, "but Mer still thinks it can be a boy."

"I'd bet on what Meredith's intuition is," Jenna smiled at her. "Mer, you said you're flying home for the baptism, but you didn't mention the godparents, well I know Mark is the godfather, he keeps bragging about it."

"Well," Meredith smiled, "you Mom and Aunt Pat helped us decide last night, but we haven't asked yet…so …"

"You have to tell me," Jenna said, "Mer…I'm pregnant…and I'm waiting months to baptize the baby…you can't keep me in the dark…"

"Tell her," Derek said, and Meredith shared the news with her sister in law.

"I can't wait," Jenna smiled, "for the baptism…it's guaranteed to be different than any other in our family."

The December afternoon was thankfully dry and unusually sunny; Derek had been thrilled when no rain was expected for that day and was as excited as a kid planning the barbeque to have his family share the day on their land. The temperatures, were also warmer than normal, though his aunt assured him they'd be braving much colder weather back home.

"What I'd like to understand," Nancy smiled at Lexie, "how did you get him to go shopping for baby clothes?"

"I didn't," Lexie smiled softly at Mark, "he managed it all on his own," she said of the almost weekly outfits Mark had managed to find and gave her to take to the baby shower. "He wants to make sure Mer doesn't change her mind about him being godfather."

"At least," Mark said, "unlike Cristina…I didn't try to hide the fact she's become soft over this baby…"

"I have not," Cristina argued.

"Why were you and Callie hiding things from me," Mark said, "when I came over for breakfast?"

"Oh God," Meredith moaned, "I'm going to kill him."

"Why…" Derek smiled.

"You know why," she rolled her eyes.

"I hope," Derek laughed, "our little girl gets that trait from you…rolling her eyes…"

"How do you know, I'm doing that," Meredith smiled.

"Mer…I know your expressions, even if I can't see you," he told her. "Right, princess," he was rewarded with a nice strong kick.

"Mark," Kathleen teased him, "you are aware…you only get to be godfather one time."

"Why?" Mark said. "I'm Shep's best friend, who else is going to do a better job."

"Lexie's husband," Pat said, "it would make sense, or one his brother in laws, and I'm sure you're not the only friend he has."

"She's playing devil's advocate," Derek whispered in Meredith's ear.

"Very inappropriate," Meredith giggled, bringing his hands closer around her, "don't you think, for a nun."

"You know," Mark said, "Sister Instigator…that's probably more than a venial sin," he said with a wicked grin, "and it's a good thing…Meghan's here, or I'd answer you."

"I love you too dear," Patricia smiled at him, "you should know that after all these years."

Meghan who'd been paying attention to her new doll, suddenly became interested in the adult conversation and walked over to Derek. "Uncle D…do you gots ice cream?"

"I think we do…" he smiled.

"Cause of my baby sister and baby cousin I think would like some too…"

"You really think so?" Derek smiled.

"I really does…" Meghan smiled at him.

"He's doomed," Kathleen laughed, "hook…line…and sinker…"

"No more so than Rob," Nancy laughed. "He's got three women making him jump through hoops."

"He does not…" Jenna argued, as she smiled, and gently rubbed her stomach.

"No more than Shep," Mark said, "who's totally whipped…and has been spoiling Grey for months…three times a week cleaning service…and has bought enough supply of pregnant type lotions for back rubs and feet rubs…"

"How," Kathleen laughed, "would you even know that?"

"He forced me to pick something up for him, because he was stuck in surgery. There's this shop he found," Mark teased his friend, "that's making a living on his need to pamper Meredith and the baby."

" Lexie dear," Pat said, "Derek is doing exactly as a husband should…and you'll see…you won't need to settle for less…It's going to be a pleasure to meet your husband."

"Patricia," Carolyn warned, "you're pushing it."

"I hope so," Patricia turned to her sister and said quietly, "Carolyn, he thinks Derek and Rob are whipped…I'm going to enjoy watching his downfall…the manwhore is tamed."

"Yang," Mark, "let's ignore her, and tell us what you had to keep hidden."

"Lexie," Cristina said, "is he always this immature?"

"He has his," Lexie teased him, "adult moments…"

"I'd say," he bit Lexie's earlobe playfully, "I have a lot of those…"

"You do," she said, "but…we have little ones around…"

"Meghan's in the trailer with Derek," Mark told her.

"I meant the babies," Lexie teased, "and she's not anymore."

"Mommy," Meghan ran to where both her mother and Meredith were reclining comfortable, "Aunty M…we gots chocolate ice cream and strawberry …from the special place you like…I gots to ask you which one you want…cause Uncle D is waiting."

"Both," the women replied simultaneously, and the little girl ran back to the trailer.

"Sloan, if you must know," Cristina said with a wicked grin, "what we didn't want to show you…were sort of gifts…or toys…for Mer…and maybe even Derek…"

"You got them sex toys? She's huge, she can't…" the women just waited for the reaction.

"I'm huge," Meredith said, "did you just say that? You think I'm going to forget…"

"You are," Mark told her, "you say it all the time…and Shep keeps telling you, you're pregnant and beautiful...and how can you and Shep still be having sex…"

"Mark," Jenna said, "you are an ass…Aunt Pat's right, Lexie…forget about him…drop him…I can tell she sees a very caring devoted husband."

Lexie remained quiet, she wasn't thinking about marriage or kids…at this time, but she did think her relationship with Mark could lead to that eventually.

"Lex," Meredith said, noticing the doubts evident in her sister's expression. "Would you ask Derek to serve some of the radish bread with the ice cream, and bring me some lemonade too?"

"I don't know," Patricia said, "about you Mark…a manwhore with no imagination…I suppose if you ever find a woman to put up with you…and want to have your kids, Derek will fill you in...on how to keep your pregnant wife…"

"Aunt Pat," Maggie's laughter rang through the air, "you are incorrigible."

"Only telling the truth dear," Pat said, "he and Meredith were twenty minutes late to her shower yesterday…and it was quite evident they'd had sex," she said, just as Meghan walked out of the trailer with Derek, and he almost dropped the bowls.

"Mommy," Meghan insisted on taking her bowl, "Uncle D said you probably wanted bread just like Aunty M…he gots her bowl and mine."

"He was right," Jenna said, and made room for her daughter, "you didn't get any," she said when Derek placed the bowl of ice cream on her lap, "would you like some?"

"No Mommy…it's yucky."

"Derek," Meredith whispered to him, "I think it would be bad to kill a nun…"

"You or Mark," he chuckled.

"Mark…" she giggled, then savored the bread and strawberry ice cream. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he kissed her lips softly.

"Aunty Pat," Meghan said, "what's sex?"

"Oh God," Jenna mumbled, the rest held their breath, snickered, shook their heads, and Cristina laughed.

"It's when two people," Patricia did not miss a beat, "who are married take a nap."

"I not like naps," the little girl said, "so I not like sex," and everyone gathered together had to make an amazing effort not to laugh.

"Aunt Pat," Kathleen said, "I take it you're answered that before."

"Kathleen," Patricia said, "I've had six kids…I had plenty of naps," and then, everyone indeed roared with laughter.

The rest of the afternoon was spent bantering and teasing and undoubtedly further strengthening the bonds among the group. The men, cleaned up, at Derek's insistence that this was for the women, and all the work they'd done the day before.

"Aunt Pat," Maggie went to sit with her at some point, "you think…I'll have a girl…"

"You will," her aunt said and hugged her niece, "and you know I don't like to talk about this…but this weekend, baby…I can see it so clearly," she told her, and Maggie's eyes watered as she rested her head on her aunt's shoulder, "all of what I've said."

"A little girl…" Maggie whispered. "John would be so happy, but I'm older…and…"

"A beautiful healthy little girl," her aunt hugged her tight, "you don't need to worry about that. Maggie…she'd be the luckiest little girl…because you are an amazing mother and daughter…and niece."

"I love you Aunt Pat," Maggie kissed her cheek.

"I love you too sweetheart," Patricia smiled at her, "and Carolyn and I will help…"

"Dr. Hunt," Pat said to Owen when he came back to gather some cushions to store inside the trailer, "she'll come around on her own. Give her time, you both need time."

Derek's family went back to the hotel late in the afternoon, and then they all gathered at Meredith's, as they would leave from there to go to the airport; Meredith insisting they'd go with them.

Nancy and Carolyn had insisted both of them needed to be off their feet, especially Jenna before she got on a flight for five hours, and as neither could really argue about how tired they were, Meredith told her to come to her room, at least they could keep each other company, and they made plans for their babies' baptism.

"Mer," Jenna told her as they lay back on her bed, both resting against the headboard, "you really should find out if my niece's or nephew's godmother…wants to travel…"

Meredith giggled, "I think…we should be fine."

"I can't wait for you to meet Rob," Jenna said, "he's wonderful."

"What was that comment about a fight," Meredith asked her, "Derek hasn't told me."

"Mer," Jenna said, "he was such an ass…totally…"

"Rob was?"

"Of course not," Jenna looked over to her, "your husband was the ass…"

"What did he do?"

"Well," Jenna smiled as she thought back, "he was an ass…"

"Why," Derek was at the door, "do I get the feeling you're talking about me?"

"Cause of…" Jenna teased, repeating her daughter's favorite expression, "we were."

"Uhmmm…I'll leave now…"

"Don't," Meredith said, and extended her hand towards him. "I want to hear your version," and he came and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I never win with this one," he shook his head, and immediately found her large baby bump.

"To be fair," Jenna smiled at her brother, "Rob was eleven years older, and I was underage…and big brother, was only protecting me."

"Damn right," he said. "I bet he'd do the same thing…with his girls."

"Are you kidding…" Jenna laughed, "he says they can't date till they're twenty five."

"He has the right idea," Derek said, "this little one is not dating till she's that age."

"I think," Meredith giggled, "we may have to reconsider…"

"Why?" he said with a frown on his face.

"Derek…" she rolled her eyes at him, "twenty-five?"

"Fine…when she's graduated from college."

"Are you going to do the same if he's a boy?"

"Of course not," he said without a moment's hesitation, and almost as quickly felt his sister's smack at the back of his head. "Shit …that hurt."

"Uncle D…oh ..oh…baby can hear you…" Meghan rushed in the room. "Mommy…you don't hit your brother…"

"No you don't," Jenna said, "I was just playing…"

"Granma says dinner is here…"

"Great," Meredith smiled, "tell her we'll be right there," and the little girl ran out of the room. "Be careful on the stairs," Meredith called out to her.

"I'm starving," Jenna said.

"How can you be hungry," Derek said, and both Jenna and Meredith glared at him.

"Derek…go away," Meredith said, "and make sure there's enough pizza left…three slices for each of us."

"There's plenty," he said, "I'm not leaving I want to be here when I'm unfairly maligned," he said, and his sister told the story of the fight years ago between her brother and husband.

"I agree with Derek," Meredith said, "Rob had no business trying to date you at seventeen," she winked at Jenna, "but thank God he did, since I'm going to be godmother to your third little girl."

"He's going to love you," Jenna laughed. "Derek…I love you…you know that…and as much as I complain and joke, you were right…and he did as you asked. We didn't get married until I turned twenty one, and we didn't have sex until after I turned 18."

"I did not," Derek said, "need to know that…"

"We actually waited longer, remember his year in South Africa, I was almost nineteen when he got back and then he insisted I date other people for six months," she smiled at Meredith, "it didn't last long…after a month…I told him if he didn't know if he wanted to be with me or not…I was moving on…that took care of his resolve," Jenna's eyes watered, "and we've been happy and together ever since."

"Jenna," Meredith smiled, "I think," she reached for her husband's hand and brought to her lips, "when I have a daughter…she will be very lucky if she has a brother that cares for her and looks after her as much as Derek did…and does…"

"She will be," Jenna met her brother's gaze, "we joke about it…but Derek knows how much our relationship means to me…he's still my hero…since Daddy died…that has never changed…except I did want to smack him…daily…when he left to come here."

"We won't stay away," Meredith said, as she reached out to feel her goddaughter's movements, "isn't that right baby…you need to get to know your cousin and your Uncle Derek and I will make sure that happens…Derek …feel her…she just rolls…"

The family farewell was predictably sentimental as they waited to go through security at the last possible moment, and each of his sisters and Pat took turns at hugging them both and touching Meredith's belly one last time; each one of them telling her to call them, any time day or night, with questions as the birth got close.

"Aunty M…I gots to kiss my baby cousin before I gets on the airplane…and tells her I love her and Katie loves her," she placed her little hands on Meredith's belly and kissed her, "I love you baby…"

Meredith's eyes watered, "she loves you too Meggie," she said, as the little girl beamed when the baby kicked.

"Granma, I love you…I see you in this many days," she held up her hands with eight fingers, "cause of you take care of Aunty M and my baby cousin," she said and lifted her hands to be picked up, which Derek did, handing her to his mother for a hug.

"I hugs you too Uncle D," the little girl then went back to him, "and Aunty M," and Derek was careful to hold most of her weight as she wrapped herself around Meredith to hug her. Meredith, Carolyn and Derek waited till they went through security before heading home.


	25. Chapter 25

_A/N 21 JUN –Thanks for reading. The story is completed, but because of character length restriction on one board, this chapter will be posted in two parts._

_I mentioned last time, to those of you that comment, your comments and support are truly significant as the story comes to its conclusion and you will understand in the next part posted; as that old proverb says…forewarned is…forearmed…Warm regards, Jasmin_

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 25 - Part 1 of 2 **

Derek's sisters had opted to take the red eye back home, ensuring that Meghan would sleep during the almost six hour non-stop flight. Carolyn bid them good night as soon as they had arrived home.

"Thank you," Meredith said as she placed a light kiss on his naked chest and snuggled against him after making love.

"You're thanking me for making love to you," his hands roamed her body, "don't you know that's my greatest pleasure…especially pleasing you as…"

"Derek…" Meredith said, "I'm not thanking you for sex," she giggled and turned to face him, her movements not as quick as before, "though sex was amazing…"

"Then what?"

"This weekend with your family…our family…for putting so much effort to make it comfortable to spend the day on our land today…how many lounges and chairs and cushions did you buy?" she referred to the outdoor teak furniture.

"Just enough," he smiled, "so everyone would be comfortable."

"Thank you," she kissed him, "for all of it…and for thinking about asking Carolyn to stay, it means a lot to me that she's going to be here…I'd never thought I'd ever have that…someone here…mothering me like she does."

"She's very happy to be here," he assured her.

"I know," Meredith caressed his face, "that's why I'm thanking you," she said, and after sharing a long tender kiss, he helped her get settled on her side, and wrapped his arms around her.

Carolyn Shepherd was exceptionally good at mothering, and when she added the precision of a retired navy nurse, by the third day of her stay she'd spent her time in the kitchen most of the days and the freezer was full, so she spoke to Derek and told him to buy a freezer, and he did, and by the time she left to go home, there would be enough food for the two of them for weeks.

"Carolyn," Meredith walked in the kitchen, almost out of breath after coming in from a walk with Derek, "we're going out to dinner."

"There's no need for that," Carolyn smiled, "I've just finished a roast…"

"Carolyn, you can't keep cooking. I didn't want you to be here and spend all your time in the kitchen."

"Meredith, I have nothing else to do, and you like my cooking."

"Yes," she smiled at her mother in law, "but we ran out of space in the freezer already," she reasoned, "so there's nowhere …"

"She made me get a freezer," Derek came in behind her, "it was delivered this morning."

"You did what?"

"It's in the pantry," he said, "she wouldn't take no for an answer."

"Carolyn," Meredith sat on the stool, both her hands resting on her stomach. "I don't want you to spend the next four days cooking…please, your company is enough."

"Nonsense," her mother in law came around and hugged her, "you're at the hospital all day, and I have nothing better to do. Now, go on, dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes."

"Derek," Meredith told him as he helped her get in the tub, "it's not right…we can't have her slaving in the kitchen all day."

"Mer," he bend down and kissed her, "she wants to…let her…"

"It's…"

He silenced her with another kiss, "I'm getting in to rub your back…and…"

"Ok," she smiled as her husband began to undress, and then got in behind her and at first just held her. "Derek…we have less than six weeks…"

"We do…" he smiled, "and this little one thinks her mommy's belly is her very own playground."

"I don't think she knows she's supposed to be head down pretty soon…and stay that way…and just lies horizontally across my stomach."

"Hey princess," Derek rubbed Meredith's belly, pushing back gently as the baby kicked, "I think your mommy would feel better if you got yourself ready to meet us…even though, I think you're just being smart," Meredith rolled her eyes, "and making yourself comfortable until you have no choice but to stay in just one position…which your mommy," he smiled, waiting for her reaction, "usually thinks is pretty boring…"

"Derek," she smacked his arm softly, "that is so inappropriate," but couldn't help but giggle. "You can't make those kind of comments to our baby."

"She has no idea what I'm saying," he nuzzled her neck, kissing the back tenderly, "and I made you giggle."

"Tomorrow night," she told him, "we are taking your Mom out to dinner…Derek…don't let her bully us into a home cooked meal," she said, "no matter how good it is."

They managed, going to dinner at the Space Needle, which on her first visit Carolyn had mentioned wanting to visit; the second there was no way she was going to enjoy it with her son convalescing; and now had no excuse but to accept, and they got there early enough for sunset and then enjoyed the nighttime view of Seattle.

The entire week she was there, Carolyn insisted on taking care of them both; telling them it made her feel useful and it had been a long time since Derek had allowed her to do so; she also told Meredith one evening while he was at work and they were in the living room talking, that she was grateful for her hospitality, that she'd never imagine herself on an extended stay if he was married to Addison.

Meredith naturally cried, and apologized for blubbering all over her mother in law, when Carolyn reached out to hug her.

"Carolyn," Meredith said, after she'd apparently given it a lot of thought, while Carolyn sat knitting as they spent the evening talking. "I don't want to say anything to Derek, but part of me is scared…I have no idea how I'm going to handle labor…and a baby and it's just …it feels so overwhelming…"

"You," Carolyn placed the needles aside, "are going to handle it beautifully…and every first time mother has those doubts. Sweetheart, I went through it with Kathleen and each of the girl's first pregnancies, and my sisters and nieces. It's a universal feeling…but, I'll be here before and after the baby is born and I'll stay as long as you want me…before I need to get home for Jenna's delivery."

"Is she upset with me," Meredith chewed on her bottom lip, "that I'm keeping you away from her…I know she loves to have you around."

"Meredith," Carolyn looked at her, that mother's stare, "you have spoken to her every day for weeks…does she sound like she's upset I've been here for three days?"

"No…but…"

"No buts," Carolyn stopped her, "she's fine. She has her sisters one phone call away, Rob at her beck and call, a housekeeper that spoils her rotten and a mother in law that's an hour away, not to mention Rob's seven sisters," she said, "not all of whom I care for."

"Carolyn," Meredith said, "I was never the girl that mother's like…and you gave me a chance."

"You were the right one for my son," she told her, "clearly…that made me accept you; seeing you together…after his accident…the weeks I spent here and now…that makes me love you."

"Oh," Meredith took a deep breath, and the tears began to fall, "Carolyn…you…"

"Yes," Carolyn reached for her hand and held it in hers, "that is how I feel…and I don't have to tell you that…I know that, but I'm talking to you from the heart…my son is very lucky to have found you…and my granddaughter," she placed both hands on Meredith's belly, "is going to be the most loved little girl in the world, by both her parents and her very large family…"

"I was always," Meredith said, "a disappointment to my mother…"

"She has no idea what she missed," Carolyn touched her cheek, "but…I think…she's watching over you and is very proud of the amazing daughter she didn't have a chance to really know."

"Thank you," Meredith sniffled, as she shifted positions on the sofa yet again.

"Enough tears," Carolyn told her, "let's go upstairs…you need to lie down, I can tell your back is bothering you."

"A little," Meredith admitted.

"You don't have to keep my company Meredith, when you're tired you need to go lie down. Sweetheart these last weeks are going to be uncomfortable, it's natural…and you need to make it easier on yourself."

"But," Meredith said, "you're only here this week…I'd rather spend it with you…than alone…"

"Well," Carolyn beamed, "then…I'll join you upstairs, you can rest and I can finish my knitting. I'll walk up with you," she told her, having noticed her balance was off every so often, which was in line with this stage of her pregnancy, "do you want anything, before we do?"

"Chocolate cake…" Meredith smiled, "but, I'll go to the kitchen and get it…"

"You wait here for me," Carolyn told her, "you won't have me around next week…so let me do some mothering…pampering and take care of my two girls."

"You're so sure," Meredith smiled.

"So are you," Carolyn smiled. "But…you're right, there's always that chance it's a boy, I thought for sure Maggie was a boy, so you do have to wait."

"Carolyn," Meredith said when they reached the second floor, "let's go in the nursery, I want to put away some of the things we got."

"Not tonight," Carolyn told her. "You're off tomorrow, there's plenty of time."

"You're very bossy."

"I've been told."

"You can help me tomorrow," Meredith told her, "even though you've already washed everything…between cooking and laundry…"

"Meredith," Carolyn linked her arms through hers, "that's all I've done…Derek has the cleaning service here every day this week, just to keep me from doing it."

"I told him to," Meredith admitted, "because otherwise…you'd want to do it."

"I didn't argue with him," his mother said, having picked her battles. "I love to cook, but cleaning is not necessarily my favorite."

Within fifteen minutes of lying down, Meredith fell asleep. Carolyn smiled, as she sat on the chair next to her daughter in law knitting.

"Ma," Derek said quietly as he walked in the room, "is she ok…why are you here…was she feeling unwell?"

Carolyn put her finger to her lips and picked up her knitting and walked out with him.

"She's fine, we were talking for a few hours, but I could tell her back was bothering her."

"Ma…is that normal, I mean…she's almost 35 weeks…"

"It is," Carolyn assured her son, and they walked downstairs, "and it's going to get worse, so I came up to keep her company, we're going to organize some of the things in the nursery tomorrow."

"Again," Derek teased.

"It makes her feel better," Carolyn smiled, "to look through the baby things, your sisters were the same way…it's part of nesting."

"We're going to miss you," Derek said, and she heard the deep felt emotion in his voice.

"So am I," Carolyn said, equally moved, "but I'll be here in a few weeks…to welcome my newest grandchild."

"You think it's a girl," Derek smiled.

"We will see," she smiled back.

"Ma," Derek smiled at her, "we have two of everything I think…"

"Your sisters are lazy," Carolyn shrugged, "they think you need everything upstairs as downstairs," she joked. "But, I agree that you need two car seats…and strollers, it's only practical Derek not to have to worry about who has it…and coordinate schedules…your lives are hectic enough, and you certainly can afford it."

"Mom," Derek smiled, "you've only been here a few days…and you're as bad as Meredith…rambling."

"You already know it's a trait in our family," she smiled. "By the way, Patricia said to tell you she's talked to Father Dennison and he will work according to your schedule for the babies baptism."

"We need to talk to the godparents," he smiled, "make sure they want to do it."

"Yes," Carolyn said, "you do," and mother and son spent the next hour talking.

"I missed you last night," Meredith said the following morning. "You didn't wake me…when did you get in?"

"Around nine, but you were sleeping so soundly, I didn't want to disturb you…I know how hard it is lately for you to fall asleep again."

"I'm not sleepy now…" she said, unusually shy, "I mean…if you…if…"

"I want you," he kissed her, "always…"

"Will you help me up…I'll be back in a minute…"

"Yes," he smiled, and went around the bed to help her, and then when she came back to bed made love to his wife.

"Mom," Meredith said, her mouth full, moaning in appreciation, "these chocolate pancakes are amazing."

Carolyn laughed, "you know…I'm going to think you only want me here for my cooking."

"Oh no," Meredith frowned, "please…you can't think that."

"I don't…I'm teasing you Meredith. Of all my girls, you and Jenna are the ones that get the most pleasure out of my baking. You're very lucky you've had no issues with sweets…and honey you're doing great with your blood pressure…no swelling at all, it's wonderful you've been spared some very typical discomforts."

"We're all set," Derek said, all smiles as he walked in the kitchen, "in ten days…we'll have two days away."

"Derek," Meredith began to fidget with her rings, "you're sure…Dr. Cameron thinks it's ok…I'll be 36 weeks Derek, and we're over an hour away, and if there's traffic."

"You will see him before we leave," he kissed her lips, "and ask him yourself. Ma, these are really good," he savored them.

"You don't like chocolate pancakes," Meredith said, "ever."

"I do now," he said, "Mom's cooking."

"Rob was the same," Carolyn laughed, "hated them…until the last few weeks of Jenna's pregnancies, when she wanted them every day, sympathy cravings."

Meredith spent the day at home with Carolyn, making sure everything was ready for the baby's arrival, and it was clear that it was by very early afternoon. Derek had to work again that night, so Carolyn suggested they go out to dinner and asked her to invite Lexie and Cristina, and make it a girl's night out. They went to an early movie, and then went to Joe's as Carolyn insisted it was about time she visited where they met.

The night before Carolyn flew home, she told Meredith she'd like to have Mark and Lexie and Cristina for dinner, it was up to them if they included Owen, they did; which Carolyn would later tell her sister she was in complete agreement about both relationships.

Throughout the evening, the usual friendly banter and joking ensued, Mark ribbing Derek over his constant habit of touching Meredith's belly, the bets he said had a last count of twenty times in one day; though he smiled at Lexie, it seems her sister was just as bad. Then, he teased some more over the hovering and over protectiveness, and Meredith smiled through it all, her husband's hand protectively on her stomach as they sat comfortably on the couch after dinner, with Carolyn on her other side, ever so often reached over to feel the baby as well.

"We all thought," Mark smiled, "Derek was going to be over protective…that was a given. But, Hunt and I both wanted to kill him, when a week before he got his release to drive, after his surgery, he dragged us to three different car dealers to test drive cars."

"At least," Derek said, "I did the research on line first…"

"Yeah," Owen joked, "but that still took our days off…to get through all the driving, since he couldn't do it."

"Don't forget," Lexie said, "the minute he found out Mer was pregnant he leased a car like his old one, sure that if he'd survived the accident it was ok for Mer to drive until they got her the car she wanted."

Carolyn only smiled, content that her son had found his soul mate; finally.

"Then," Lexie said, "he spent a day with Mer test driving the four finalists."

"I think it was sweet," Cristina surprised them. "He wanted to make sure she and the baby were safe…and Mer wouldn't have agreed there was a need to give up the jeep if it wasn't that she too wanted to make sure the baby would be safe…so Mcdaddy and Mcmommy…are already taking care of Mcbaby."

"Cristina," Carolyn said, "do you all really talk that way around the hospital…Mcthis and that," and they all laughed.

"Carolyn," she said, "we do so only amongst ourselves. Though, there are some Mcsteamy stories that…well…let's just say Lexie's tamed him a bit…but before…"

The evening ended as Carolyn invited them all to visit when Meredith and Derek flew home in the summer, winking at her children, as she knew who would need to be present.

"Sweetheart," Carolyn said the following afternoon to a teary Meredith, "we'll wait to leave for the airport to the last minute…I have to go through security early anyway…there's no sense in going with me, I'll be back again in a few weeks."

"But, I want to … there's no reason for me to wait at home for Derek to come back. Carolyn," Meredith choked up, "I'm going to miss you…"

"I'm going to miss you too," she said, part of her wanting to curse Ellis Grey to hell; needing to remind herself about forgiveness; during this week, she'd seen the vulnerability and sadness whenever Meredith looked at the photo by her bedside with her parents, and she vowed to make up for all the years of emotional neglect she'd suffered as a child. "But, you can call me anytime…and you'll talk to the girls just like you do now, almost every day…and you know to expect a call from me at least once…and you are to text me if you're not able to answer, so I don't worry about you."

"Carolyn," Meredith met her gaze, "it's really ok…to call you…anytime…"

"Twenty four hours a day," she said, and hugged her. "Now wipe away those tears, before Derek gets home."

"Mom," he said as they sat in the living room after dinner that evening. "We're going to miss your cooking," he winked at her.

"Derek," Meredith actually teared up, she'd been a lot more sentimental the last week. "That's not a very nice thing to say, when," she shook her head, "don't mind me…I don't know what's wrong with me…I'm being silly."

"No," he said, "you're being thoughtful and sentimental, and I'm being an ass…"

"Derek Christopher," Carolyn reprimanded, "Meredith is right, watch your language around my grandchild," she'd stopped referring to the baby as a girl in front of him, just in case she was wrong.

They indeed drove her to the airport, and expectedly had an emotional farewell.

"You take good care of her," Carolyn told her son, her hand gently stroking his face before she gave him a kiss and hugged him, "and you," she kissed Meredith's cheek and then held her tightly, "let him pamper you…and his princess," she whispered.

"Mom," Derek said, "please call as soon as you arrive."

"It's going to be four in the morning dear, and it will be fine…"

"Ma…"

"I'll text you," Carolyn said, "that way, you'll see the message when you wake."

"Carolyn," Meredith said, "thank you…this week's been," she paused, trying to keep from crying, "thank you."

"Thank you, Meredith…I had a very special week…with my son and new daughter."

"Oh," Meredith sniffled, "you can't do that…"

"I can't tell my children how I feel," she smiled at her, and hugged her son one last time. "I love you son."

"I love you Mom," Derek hugged her tightly; "we'll see you in a few weeks."

"You will," Carolyn said, "now you…little one," she placed her hand over Meredith's stomach, "be a good baby for your Mommy…let her get some rest…" and the baby kicked.

"I'm not sure if that means," Meredith said, "he's going to kick me for the rest of the pregnancy…or she's agreeing with her grandmother."

"I think," Carolyn smiled, "it may be a little bit of both," and hugged Meredith, "I love you sweetheart…I'll see you soon."

Derek dealt with his wife's vulnerable emotions as soon as they got home, and he pulled her on his lap as soon as they walked in their room, and she placed her arms around him and cried. "Mer…love…" he rarely used any endearments, "please don't cry…"

"I never…" she cried softly, "all the years growing up…never had…as much mothering…as I did this week…and…she likes me Derek…she really does…"

"Of course she likes you…Mer…you know that…" he soothed, as he kissed her softly.

"She told me she loved me," Meredith met his gaze, "before she left…she called me her daughter."

"That's what you are to her…Mer…you've met my family…they don't hide their feelings very well, and Ma…she's genuine…she does love you…she thinks I'm lucky," he told her of their conversation a few evenings before, "that I found my soul mate."

"She really means it…"

"She really does," he said, and after the tears had stopped he led his wife to the bathroom, and soon they were both in bed, and he held her whispering endearments, and making her smile until she fell asleep, safe and content in her husband's arms.

Meredith's 36th week check up was the lunch time conversation. "Mer," Alex said as she walked up to them, "you know you're waddling…"

Cristina's hand connected with the back of his head, "evil spawn, are you out of your mind? Do you want us to deal with a freak out…here?"

"He's right Cristina," Meredith sighed deeply, and plopped herself down on a chair. "For the next four weeks, I'm going to look like a duck…waddling everywhere…"

"Mer," Lexie said, "that's not true…you're just…walking slower…that's all."

Alex didn't stop in time, "you just told us she was going to be more grumpy and testy…did Lexipedia malfunction…she's taking this very well."

"You're a good aunt Lexie," Meredith smiled at her, and reached for her hand, "your niece agrees…but, I'm not going to break down and cry…I do that with Derek."

"When's the baby getting here," Cristina asked, "has the due date changed?"

"Nothing's changed, everything's good…but this baby likes it in here, and had no intention for now to get into position."

"Maybe," Cristina teased her, "Mcdaddy can talk to her…"

"Mer," Alex said, "do we get to be there…next sonogram?"

"He's not sure when he's going to do it, since he's not in position he may wait," Meredith had tried to continue to alternate calling the baby he or she whenever she spoke, but lately she'd caught herself using she a lot more often, "he said there was no reason to do one right now," she said sounding exhausted already.

"Mer," Lexie said, "it's ok for you to go away this week?"

"Yes. Derek was thrilled…and I don't even know why he wants to…I'm fat and…he has to help me in and out of bed and I'm all emotional over stupid things," her eyes watered.

"Mer…he wants to pamper you," Lexie said, "you know that…and this trip is especially for parents before the baby's born…and Derek doesn't care what you look like."

"I've gained twenty six pounds," she blurted out, "and Derek says it's all baby…but I'm not having a twenty six pound baby," she sniffled.

"Meredith," Lexie said, "you're having a beautiful healthy baby…that's probably going to be between seven and eight pounds, and you know that is normal…and I bet you'll be back to your normal weight within a few months…"

"Hey," Derek joined them, "you haven't had lunch?"

"No," she pouted, "I don't want to see the entire hospital making fun of me like a giant fat duck…"

Derek frowned and looked at Cristina. "Karev's an ass. He pointed it out to her."

"Mer," Derek said patiently, "we know Alex's an ass…he can't help himself," and at that his wife couldn't help but laugh.

"I love you," she told him.

"What would you like for lunch?" Derek asked and went to get his wife's request.

Two mornings later, she'd been up early, unable to get comfortable and when she tried to get out of bed, he was alert right away and helped her up. They decided to just drive to the spa, and avoid the inevitable early morning rush hour.

The early morning colors of sunrise had begun to manifest in the horizon as they drove on I-405 when Meredith, who'd given in to a light snooze, told him, "I'm glad we left early, it's a beautiful sunrise."

"It is," he said, "you almost missed it, abandoning me to sleep."

"The baby likes to sleep in the car," Meredith smiled, and reached for his hand, squeezing it gently. "We may have to drive around at night so I can sleep a few hours."

"We can do that," Derek brought her hand to his lips.

"I'm kidding," she giggled.

"We can," he told her, "if you think it will help you …"

"Oh Derek," she said, "I do love you…and I'm sorry my emotions are all back like a roller coaster but only worse."

"Mer," he brought her hand to his lips again, lingering, giving her small gentle kisses, "you're getting ready to have a baby in four weeks…you say…and act anyway you want…just let me take care of you."

"I have…"

"Yes," he smiled at her as they reached a light after their interstate exit, and leaned over to kiss her lips softly, "you have…just keep letting me."

"Did you speak with Jenna?" Meredith asked him.

"I spoke with all of them yesterday, on the way home, including Aunt Pat and Mom, and they all know we were turning off the phones as soon as we left Seattle."

Right on cue, her phone vibrated, and she answered, "Nancy," she smiled, and placed her on speaker phone, "Derek's giving me glaring looks because I answered…"

"Oh, please," Nancy said, "tell him you're officially not there yet…"

"How do you know that?" Derek asked.

"I spoke to your wife this morning," Nancy told him.

"You did?" he turned to Meredith.

"Yeah…" she said sheepishly, "before you woke up…you know make sure that…"

"Mer...why did you call Nancy…is something wrong…are you having contractions?"

"Relax Derek," Nancy told him. "God you'd think you were clueless about medicine. We talked about the frequency of her Braxton Hicks…and it's perfectly normal that they will be getting more uncomfortable every day…"

"You've been…they're getting stronger…"

"Derek," Meredith rolled her eyes and tried to keep from laughing, "Nancy knows about this…and she says all I'm feeling is normal…I just wanted to talk to her before we disconnect for the next two days…"

"You're sure…Nance…she's ok to be so far away from the hospital…"

"Relax," Derek, Meredith could almost see her smiling indulgently, "from my conversation with Cameron."

"You talked to Cameron," he interrupted, "why…Mer…you thought something is wrong," he was beginning to panic, and pulled over, "you had Nancy call him and didn't tell me…"

"Meredith," Nancy interrupted, though she could not disguise her amusement.

"You laugh," Derek said, "how can you laugh…you have no idea what this is like."

"You think," Nancy laughed, and so did Meredith. "I've had five kids…and delivered hundreds, thousands…and you think I don't know about this…"

"You…" he stammered, "you…you've never been a father."

"No," Nancy said softly, "I haven't…and I am delighted that you're about to be one."

"Mer…why did you have her talk to Cameron?"

"Derek," she told him, "she's been doing that every visit…"

"You have," he asked incredulously, "every time?"

"She has," Meredith held his hand, and put it over her stomach, "so I can talk to her till her ear is about to fall off instead of driving Dr. Cameron crazy."

"You could have told me," he pouted.

"We could have," she smiled, "but…"

"Derek," Nancy laughed softly, "I could only deal with one hormonal parent at a time. Now, turn off the phone, before Jenna calls you too…and enjoy your Babymoon…it's your last time away and alone together for years to come."

"I thought you agreed to babysit," Meredith told her, and Derek was amazed at how this relationship had developed. Faith in his life had been somehow restored, because of Meredith, and thought of the conversation with his sister Kathleen during their visit. "Dad…I think Kathleen's right…you must be watching over us…because this…between Mer and Nancy…is nothing short of a miracle."

"I did," Nancy told her, "so are the rest of your sisters…though I'd be careful with Cristina, she may need a helper, but even then, you won't stop thinking about the baby…or the kids…when you're away."

"Thanks Nancy," Meredith told her, "we'll talk, when we get back."

"Mer," she teased, "hope you packed all our gifts…"

"I did," she giggled, "though…I don't know what good…"

"Trust me," she said, "you'll manage," she laughed, as she referred to the lingerie they'd bought for her months before, and during their visit, all his sisters had told her to remember they both needed the intimacy and sexy flirty aspect of the relationship.

Time flew and before they knew it, they'd arrived in Snoqualmie. "Derek, this is lovely…I know they have the falls and hiking which I'm sure you don't expect me to…"

"You are not expected to do anything."

They checked in without delay, the young lady indicating they had early check in taken care of, and getting someone to escort them to their suite and explain some of the amenities along the way, as Derek walked with Meredith's hand in his.

"This is beautiful Derek," she said looking around their room, and over to the windows to take in the view, "but…really…too much…we didn't…Derek, a simple room would have been more than enough."

He silenced her with a kiss which she gave in to without further conversation, and when both needed to breathe, he walked her over to the couch, and gathered her in his arms.

"Do you like it? My sisters thought we needed the suite, so let's enjoy it."

"Of course I like it…and the view is amazing…you can see the river…"

"I love you Meredith," he said softly.

"I love you Derek," she smiled. "We both do."

"Hey princess, Mommy and Daddy are on vacation, and I want you to be a very good girl…let your Mommy get some sleep…and maybe I can too," Meredith giggled.

"Derek, what do you want to do…while we're here…it's very romantic, and it's wonderful…but…I'm really clumsy lately and…"

"I want to pamper you…do whatever you want…stay in bed all day, get a massage. If you want, we can go out …for a short walk…nothing strenuous…or if you just want to sit here, like this, in my arms and talk…or be quiet…that's what we'll do…"

They'd agreed no cell phones, though their family knew where they were in case of any emergencies, otherwise, it was their time away without interruptions.

"Last time it's just us…away on a trip," she told him, "and our little one."

"It's perfect…just what it was meant to be, you and me together…and our baby."

"You're been really spoiling me…I could get used to this…all the time."

"I hope so…I plan on doing this more often…taking care of you…"

Meredith yawned, "I'm sorry…I didn't get much sleep last night."

He walked with her to the bed, and helped her lay down against the pillows, "we can try to get some sleep now…" he said, and snuggled up to her, and she indeed fell asleep minutes later, as he lay her hand over their baby and smiled, as the sun continued its inevitable daily rise.

It was close to noon when she woke, and found herself in bed alone and wondered where Derek was. She found out soon enough, when she heard the door open and he walked out of the bathroom, just shaved.

"Hungry," he asked, kissing her, and then helping her up and guided her to the bathroom.

"I'm starving," she said, and shortly after they left their room to return a couple of hours later after eating lunch and a very short stroll around the property.

"It was freezing out there, it's nice to have this fireplace," he whispered in her ear, as they stood near the wood burning fire, "we definitely need one of these in our bedroom," he said kissing the back of her neck, and was pleased as he felt her reaction to his touch.

"Uh huh…definitely in our bedroom," she said quietly and wrapped his arms tighter around her.

"All better," he asked.

"Always…when you're with me."

Their two day stay would be memorable, as their last trip as a couple, enjoying the pampering provided by the spa to soon to be parents, wonderful food, and the romance of it all as the two lover's insatiable passion for each other remained intact. Even this late in her pregnancy, though they made allowances for the discomforts and the baby between them, they both thoroughly enjoyed the flirting and teasing and a new heightened sense of emotional intimacy.

"Derek," she lay back against him, his arms wrapped around her in the warmth of the oversized tub, the familiar lavender scent delighting him, "thank you…"

"For what," he nuzzled her neck, his hands caressing her body.

"This time here, just the two of us…"

"I can't claim any responsibility for it…it wasn't my idea…"

"I know…your sisters did…but…it's more than that Derek…you do it all the time, but the last two days here…you've pampered me and indulged me…"

"I'd say you indulged me too…" he teased her.

"I'm sure," she rolled her eyes, "it's very enticing to look at a fat pregnant," she paused thinking of an appropriate description, "penguin…cause that's what I look like now…Derek…not sexy…at all…"

"Uhmmm…" his hands roamed her body, "but you see…I disagree…because I remember…the possibilities…of the day we conceived this baby…the many possibilities of when it happened…remember…the times we've talked about…narrowed it down…"

"Yes…" she admitted.

"And nothing…is more enticing and sensual than those memories…and to see you now, nurturing our baby…and your body…and all its changes…Meredith…you look beautiful to me…because we created this baby…because of our love and passion…and desire for each other…and everything about you is beautiful…and enticing…and attractive to me…and the last two days here…should have left no doubts...of how very much I want you and crave being with you…intimately…"

"You do make me feel beautiful Derek…even when I'm getting clumsier and I need you to help me up…and all the unattractive side effects…"

"Hey…" he turned her to face him, the large tub making it easy, his hands on her belly, rubbing gently, lower to her thighs and then a small moan escaped her and he smiled, leaning in closer to her, kissing her, gently…then his tongue teasing her, the age old mating dance eliciting the moans he loved to hear, knowing he was solely responsible for that, "have you any doubts…how much I want you…"

"No…" she said simply, allowing their inevitable desire and passion to take over, making her forget any doubts or insecurities about how he felt about her, and he helped her out of the tub carefully so she wouldn't slip and carried her to the bed and before long, she urged him…enticed him to bury himself deep inside of her.

"Derek…" she whispered, a satisfied smile on her lips, as they faced each other a long while later, both on their sides, "even if I'm walking like a penguin and starting to look like a whale, this…was the best… …pregnant sex ever…"

"Absolutely…best …pregnant sex…ever…" he smiled, his lips on hers.

"Want to go again," she teased, fondly remembering their non wedding night.

"Really…"

"Not quite yet," she giggled. "But, Derek…"

"Uhmmm…"

"Since we've some weeks left…we should kind of keep track…you know…best pregnant sex at 36 weeks…and 37 weeks…"

"Keep track," he laughed, "really…each week…that's left…"

"Yeah…" her eyes twinkled with mischief, "we should…since this is not going to be an only child…"

"Uhmmm…so…next one," his hands were now following their baby's movement, "even if I'm older," his lips teased hers, "I'm expected to …"

"We'll both be older," she giggled, "and you…" she teased suggestively, "rising…to the occasion…I don't think will ever be a problem…"

"God," he groaned, "I hope not…"

"I have a feeling," she told him, "just like you get them…it won't ever be a problem…"

"Mer…" he smiled, "I love you…"

"I love you…and Derek…I'm going to hold you…to that comparison," she said, and their carefree laughter led to yet another gentle and loving display of intimacy.


	26. Chapter 26

_A/N 27 JUN – Thanks for reading. Though the story is completed, as I went back to edit for grammar, a couple of scenes here and there seemed to fit well, so I added them. Hence, have split this up to 3 parts…and if you've ever enjoyed this story, your comment now, before posting the last chapter, would be so very much appreciated. Otherwise, it seems I'm writing for 13 people that commented on the last two chapters and are the only ones interested in reading what's to come, which is ok…because it's for each of you that do comment that I've tried to do my best to bring this to a satisfactory and enjoyable conclusion._

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 25 – Part 2**

Meredith decided she wanted to work as long as possible, as she'd rather have maternity leave take effect after she gave birth; technically she was entitled to twelve weeks off, but given her residency, she and Derek had agreed she'd take eight weeks only eight weeks after the baby was born.

The two weeks that followed their "babymoon" had her working shorter hours, usually no more than six per day. But, she'd told Derek one evening, she was too uncomfortable to stand for long periods in surgery, so other than a couple appendectomies, she had been doing post ops for attendings and helping out in the clinic. It seemed, she thought and smiled as she sat in the resident's lounge for a short break to put her feet up, that her family was taking turns looking out for her, and right on time, Mark walked in.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," she said, "for someone who's a million weeks pregnant."

"Huh…a million weeks," he sat next to her, and handed her an orange.

"Just about," she said. "I'm not supposed to get any bigger…the books say I'll feel like I am…but that I'm really not, but that's bull…total bull…"

"If you say so," Mark said indulgently.

"Really," she stared at him, challenging him for the truth.

"Yeah," he said, "Lexie told me you'd be feeling like this…irritable and moody."

"Oh…" Meredith said, as the baby kicked her ribs, "that hurt."

"You ok," Mark sat up, "are you having contractions…are you in labor…do I need to get Shep…of course I need to get Shep…"

"So much for calm and steady in a storm," she laughed.

"You laugh…" he said, "my godchild is about to be born and you laugh…"

"Your godchild," she rolled her eyes, and smiling reached for his hand, "is not ready to be born anytime soon," she said, "here…you can feel the movements."

He rarely touched her stomach, but the few times he did were amazing. "Wow…she's rolling…the kid's rolling around in there…"

"Yes," Meredith smiled, "which is part of the reason I know the baby's not ready to be born, she's being stubborn," she immediately alternated sexes, "and he's not getting in position, but Dr. Cameron says it's ok…they do it when they're ready, but he wants to make sure that happens by next week…if not, he may try to turn the baby."

"Is that safe…" Mark said, "I mean…for you…"

"It's uncomfortable…but it's perfectly ok…he assured me, and so did Nancy."

"Nancy and you," he smiled at her, "strange bedfellows…" he teased.

"She's been great," Meredith smiled, "this little one has great aunts and uncles…not to mention godparents."

"Speaking of godparents, are you ever going to decide who the godmother is?"

"We did," she said, "weeks ago."

"Who is it?"

"I want to wait…" Meredith smiled, "till the baby's born…"

"Why?"

"It feels right," she smiled, picturing the moment.

"So…other than getting kicked and being a million week's pregnant," he teased her, "you're really ok…Shep's not driving you nuts?"

"He is…just as I am," she said and smiled, "though I think he has it worse."

"You know," Mark told her, "Lexie's all excited about the baby…I'm not supposed to tell you, but we went and looked at one of those sleepover things…portable something or other, so we can baby sit…and it came today."

"You did?" Meredith's eyes watered.

"Hey, you can't cry…if Shep finds out, he'll kill me."

"He knows I cry all the time now," she told him, and reached for his hand again. "Hey baby…this is your godfather Mark and he's going to babysit for you with aunt Lexie," she smiled, imagining her sister's expression when she first held the baby.

"Meredith," Mark smiled again, "she kicked me…does it hurt?"

"Not really hurt…except when he kicks my ribs or the leg gets stuck and I have to get her to move again," she smiled at him. "You keep saying she's a girl…like Derek…but you got all boy things…"

"Do you realize," Mark told her, "that anybody that hears you talking would think you're having twins."

"Twins…oh God…I don't know how I'm going to handle one…but…why?"

"Since we've been talking you've called the baby her and him," he smiled.

"Yeah…I don't want the baby to think it matters…whether we have a boy or girl."

"I know," he smirked, "I figured it was a 50/50 chance."

"We'll know soon," she smiled at him, "but if it's a girl, well save it, for the next one."

"You're going to have another one," he laughed, "he's already talked you into it?"

"He didn't have to," she told him, "I don't want our baby to have a lonely childhood."

"Uhmmm" he said, and leaned over and kissed her cheek, "and we'll make sure…we take them out trick or treating…every year…"

Meredith's eyes welled, "we will," she said, "and you'll be joining us…"

"You bet," Mark told her, and reached to hold her hand.

"Will you help me up," she said, "I need a crane now."

"You're having a baby," he told her, "one that keeps kicking and rolling around like it's a party in there…you're entitled to a little help."

"That's what Derek says," he helped her up, and she smiled at him.

"He's right," he said, and they walked out together, and she sighed, accepting she really did waddle a lot more lately.

"Hey," Derek said early that evening, when he found her in the den and leaned down to kiss her. "I didn't see you before you left today."

"You were in surgery," she told him. "I was so tired, I came home as soon as my shift ended. I'm thawing our dinner," she said, "your Mom's meatloaf."

"Do you want me to make mashed potatoes?"

"No," she told him, "I want brown rice…and tomatoes…and maybe corn…"

"Do you want a bath…before dinner? Relax a little…"

"Maybe…" she said, "but…"

"What…" he sat next to her on the couch, his hand feeling for the baby.

"Derek…I'm like a whale…I get it…why women say that…it's like I'm stuck here…like a beached whale…and it's so hard to get up, and the baby is forever pressing against my bladder…and…you must be so tired of me…"

"How can I be tired of you…I have the most amazing…beautiful wife…who is nurturing our baby…and that's creating all sorts of uncomfortable physical discomfort…and Mer…you hardly complain…and I've loved taking care of you…and that you've let me, even when I know I'm driving you crazy…"

"So am I…" she whispered against his lips.

"You're not…I promise…"

"Mark stayed with me…talked to me for about a half hour today…he wanted to know who the godmother is."

"Did you tell him?"

"No…" she smiled, "I think…the way we've planned it…that's the way I want to do it."

"Mer…do you want to stop working?"

"Part of me does…but…I'd rather wait, spend the time with the baby…I'm not going to be any more comfortable at home…and there's a maximum of twelve weeks…and if I stop working now…and anything's wrong…I don't want to risk…"

"Nothing," he kissed her, caressing her very large pregnant belly, "is going to go wrong. Mer, family leave is twelve weeks, but if you want more time…we'll make it happen."

"I don't know how I'm going to feel, once the baby is born…but I'm pretty sure I'll hate leaving the baby…but…I don't want to get so far behind…maybe I can work shorter shifts…like now…six hours…"

"You've been thinking a lot about this," he said.

"I have," she told him. "I know it's odd…for me…but…I love our baby so much already…Derek…and the thought of having to leave …when they're so tiny."

"We'll decide later," he kissed the top of her head, "once the baby's here."

"Help me up," she said, "I need to go to the bathroom."

"Ok," he said, "do you want to go upstairs…and I'll draw you a bath…"

"No," she said, "down here…baby's been pressing on my bladder for a while."

He waited for her and then walked with her up the stairs, and drew a bath for her and helped her get in carefully. "Wait for me to get out of the tub," he kissed her lips, "I'll be back in about fifteen minutes…ok…"

"Ok…" she lay her head back against the rim of the bathtub, and her eyes were still closed when he came back in, but she was running the hot water, to keep the bath water warm, as she'd asked him not to fill it completely.

"Ready to get out," he asked her.

"Yeah…" she said, and he helped her out and wrapped her in a warm towel he'd specifically just brought from the drier, "I want to lie down for a little while…"

"What's going on?"

"Back's sore…"

"We can have dinner in bed," he kissed her softly once she'd gotten in bed.

"Derek," she said, "I love you."

"I love you too," he said. "What should I bring for dessert?"

"Ice cream…and the radish bread…"

"I'll be back in about fifteen minutes," and he was, and after they had dinner and he'd cleaned up the kitchen, he spent the next couple hours pampering his wife, with a back massage and foot rub, and intermittent kisses and tender caresses that made her feel loved and wanted…though on this night, as the last nights this week when he'd held her all night; neither initiating lovemaking.

Meredith's 39th week of pregnancy coincided with their tenth month anniversary, and she was determined to make it a special evening; Derek had been caring and loving during the last week, and she'd been feeling guilty that she'd been too exhausted each night to even think about sex; likewise, in the morning he was up early and usually left the house while she was still sleeping, as he too had adjusted his schedule to be home early each evening. He'd requested, and she'd agreed not to drive during the rest of her pregnancy, which technically had less than two weeks to go. He'd only had to tell her he was worried in case she got any of the sporadic cramping she'd been getting, or the baby's foot getting stuck in her ribs and that he'd feel much better with her not being behind the wheel while driving, and she'd agreed without any hesitation.

Their friends and Derek had undoubtedly synchronized their schedules, as every day someone would drive her to the hospital for the start of her shift, and one of them would show up around the time she was due off and drive her home.

"Derek," she opened his office door, "are you busy?"

"Not for you," he got up to kiss her and led her to the couch. "You ok? You're out of breath."

"It's normal," she said, "according to Jenna and Nancy…and your Mom…"

"It won't be long now…" he told her.

"I know…9 days to my due date," she said, leaning in to him, "March 20th…"

"You know, most babies are not born on their due date…"

"I know…" she smiled, "and your princess…still refuses to get in position."

"You're seeing Dr. Cameron tomorrow …maybe she'll turn."

"Nancy said some babies don't turn till right before labor…"

"Then," Derek kissed her softly, "she has a few days more."

"Derek," she said, his hand already gently rubbing her belly, "our 10th month anniversary is in three days …I was thinking we could spend the night at the trailer."

"Uhmmm…"

"You don't want to…" she said, "I mean…I get it…I'm clumsy and really huge now…so I don't expect you'd…"

He kissed her, softly at first; then his lips trailed down to her neck. "Already have plans."

"You do…" she said, a bit disappointed, "you forgot…"

"I have plans…for us…together…"

"Oh…"

"Yes…oh…"

"What are they?"

"We're spending the night," he smiled, that McDreamy smile, "at the trailer…"

"We are?"

"We are," he kissed her. "Not so brainless, that I don't know what my wife would like."

"Thank you," she kissed him back.

"You're welcome," he smiled. "It's Saturday, so I'm leaving early that day…my shift ends with yours at three, and we'll take the ferry to Bainbridge."

"You're only working on Saturday because of me…you're hovering."

"What better reason?" He stated simply and kissed her.

Meredith's due date became the talk of the hospital; her friends had purposely provided a misleading due date for the first week of April, but most people were placing bets within the last ten days of March. The baby's sex was favored to be a boy with abundant dark hair like his father.

"Dr. Cameron," Meredith asked, "do you think I'm going to need a c-section…if the baby doesn't turn?"

"I think," Cameron told her, "the baby will turn, but just to make sure we haven't been wrong about the position… we'll do an ultrasound today…"

"Do you think something's wrong?" She asked, her voice filled with concern.

"No…I don't, we were going to do this earlier, and we waited…so we'll take a look at this little one today, and see what's going on. Sometimes, if they have moved low in the birth canal, we may not be able to tell any other way."

"Dr. Cameron," Meredith told him, "the baby is definitely not in position. This is his head," Meredith pointed to her side, "no doubt about it."

"Let's take a look," he said, and placed the gel on her stomach.

Derek held her hand, kissing her forehead, "we're going to see our baby…"

"We are," she said.

"Baby Shepherd," Dr. Cameron laughed. "Mom you're right, this little one is definitely comfortable…and probably knew you didn't want to know the sex…because…no way to tell from this," he smiled, "let's hear the heartbeat," he said, and the healthy beat was music to their ears, "oh yes…perfect…"

"Derek," Meredith squeezed his hand, "look…the baby is sucking the thumb, wait till Lexie finds out… she's been telling us they would do this…for weeks."

"She's moving," Derek said, "a lot…for this late isn't it."

"Nothing's wrong with that…this baby will get in position when it's time," he took measurements, "we'll keep due date for March 20…but think this little one may have other ideas…then again, the baby can turn quickly. But, there's no dilation or effacement right now," he said, "so we'll just see how things are next week."

"Dr. Cameron," Meredith asked him, "is it normal…that I can have a lot of energy and then I'm exhausted."

"Absolutely," he said, "it's very common in the last few weeks. Meredith, everything looks good, your blood pressure, the weight…there's no significant swelling of your hands or legs…it won't be long now…but, it may be a little bit longer than next week."

"I can only wear my wedding band," she fidgeted with it, "the other ring was a little tighter…do you think I need to worry…about…"

"Meredith," he told her, "most women can't wear rings at all after a certain period, you're within days of having a baby…it's perfectly normal."

"Can you tell how big she is?" Derek asked, both he and Meredith still mesmerized by the images of their baby.

"Just about 20 inches and a bit over seven pounds would be my guess right now."

Later that night as they lay in bed she told him, "you can really see my stretch marks…"

"Mer…" her belly was exposed as the top she wore no longer covered it, and his hand rubbed gently, "you can't tell…"

"Right…" she mumbled, a little more irritated than usual.

Derek leaned over to kiss her, "hey princess…I think Mommy just wants for Daddy to put you to sleep…it's nighttime you know," he reached for the cream on the nightstand and began rubbing gently into her skin.

"You're wasting your time Derek," Meredith told him, "and wasting a lot of money, you should complain, you've spent enough money there," she referred to the maternity store he'd discovered, "this hasn't stopped me from getting more stretch marks…"

"I disagree," he continued gently massaging the cream on her skin, "since I can't tell where the stretch marks are at all."

She giggled, "you are so blatantly lying to me…"

"I'm not…" he told her, "but…even if you had them…it doesn't matter Mer…we're getting a baby…any minute…she's going to be here…"

"I'm not so sure," she told him, "about any minute…but…it's sooner than before…and we may be having a boy."

"I don't care…what we're having," he told her. "Feeling better…" he kissed her lips softly.

"Yes…" she kissed him back.

"Ok…" he smiled and sat up and reached for a book from the nightstand drawer.

"Help me sit up," she smiled as soon as she saw the book he held.

"You want to go first?"

"Go ahead," she smiled and saw the boyish happy grin as he began to write.

"Your Mommy and I got to see you again today, and you were sucking your thumb…but, you seem to be very comfortable…" both he and Meredith wrote in the baby's journal, a treasured and loving keepsake they'd prepared for their first baby.

"I'll be right back," Derek told her after they'd put the baby's journal away, and he smiled as he walked in the room holding a small gold gift bag with a well renowned logo of a long haired woman on a horse.

"Derek, I didn't get you anything…I mean…I just thought we'd make it special by spending time at the trailer…but, I didn't think of buying a gift…I just…I'm sorry…"

"It's not an anniversary gift…" he sat next to her and kissed her, "it's a bribe baby gift."

"A bribe baby gift," she sniffled, "the baby's not here yet…"

"Exactly," he teased her, "bribe her into thinking she'll get some of this…if she finally agrees to get in position…and meet us," his hands were on her belly, caressing her.

"You think," Meredith smiled at him, that half questioning smile he loved, "if she or he…thinks that they're getting chocolate like this…once they're born…they'll hurry up and get here…" she went along with his playfulness.

"No," he nibbled her lips, then found the place their baby was moving and kissed her belly, "but…I know it will make her mommy happy…much happier than just about anything else right now," he raised an eyebrow suggestively at her and smiled as she finally laughed.

"Oh…Derek…I really do love you…you're spoiling me rotten…"

"I love you…and I can't think of anything that would make me happier…" he kissed her softly, "than spoiling you…and taking care of you," the baby kicked, "both."

"So…" Meredith smiled looking in the bag, "you think this could persuade our baby to get ready…"

"Hey…you love chocolate," he brought his lips to her neck, bit playfully, "even more…" his mouth found her earlobe, again biting playfully, "than me…"

"It's only been a week…" she told him, her hand caressing his face, "that's happened."

"I'm teasing you Meredith…"

"Well…" she rolled her eyes, "even I have to say…I'm looking forward to a more, should we say… exciting 38 weeks…the next time…"

Derek chuckled and hugged her, "I'm not complaining about last week…at all…"

"I am," Meredith told him, and they both looked at each other and laughed.

"Jenna, it's our 10th month anniversary today, and I feel bad, because…let me tell you…you were right, I'd much rather have ice cream or chocolate most nights."

"Trust me," Jenna laughed, "I know…but Mer…I'm bigger than you are…and Rob and I still manage, in fact last night…"

"Jenna…don't you dare," Meredith laughed, "you're on speaker phone…and Derek's about to walk in and will probably be mortified if he hears us talking about pregnant sex," she said and their laughter rang in the pre-dawn hour.

"Mer…all kidding aside. Derek understands just like Rob does…"

"Believe me, he's been indulging me…I'm still eating the Godiva truffles he got me…they are decadently good…"

"He asked me," Jenna laughed, "what my favorites were the other day, I think he believes we have similar cravings, and I told him it had to be Godiva original dark chocolates, good to know he listened."

"He did," Meredith laughed, "and I think I've had half of them already…"

"Mer," Jenna told her, "chocolates are really good…but…just keep in mind…after the baby's born you'll have no choice but to wait, and Mom's going to be there next week."

"I know," Meredith said, "we have definitely kept that in mind," and the sisters in law spoke for several more minutes, and after he came back in, also spoke to Jenna before he told Meredith he was ready for their evening celebration.

"Mer," Derek whispered in her ear a while later, as she sat with her back pressed against his chest, relaxing in one of the teak lounges he'd set up by the trailer that night. "Are you warm enough?"

"I am," she said, "it's a beautiful night…we don't get those too often…when we can see the stars," she guided his hand over her belly both feeling the baby's movements.

"Thank you," he said, nuzzling her neck, placing soft kisses on her skin, "for a special evening."

"I wasn't sure," she said, "if we'd get out here again before the baby comes…"

"It was a wonderful idea to spend it here," he said.

"I loved yours…" she said, "watching the sunset turn to dusk on the cliff, as though we were watching from the view…that will be our bedroom…"

"Our true victory dance…" he said as he became lost in the future, "a celebration without equal…when we can bring our little one…to see where her home will be…"

"Derek," she placed her hand over his as the baby rolled again, "will you be disappointed if we have a boy…I know you think it's a girl…but…"

"Meredith," he said her name almost reverently, "you delivering a healthy baby…without complications…and both of you being well…that is all that matters," and he wrapped his arms tighter around her.

"I love you," she said, and he heard the deep emotions in her voice. "So much…"

"I love you too," he said, "and give thanks everyday…for having found you."

"Derek…" she hesitated, "I'm not sure…if you want to…I'm really huge now…you can't tell me I'm not…but…tonight…now…if you want…I 'd like…I mean…we haven't made love as often the last week…but…"

"Meredith," he said tenderly, shifting their positions so she could see him, the light of the nearby lantern flickering, "I'd like nothing more than to make love to my wife…how can you even doubt that," he cupped her face and kissed her.

"Derek…" she said breathlessly, "let's go inside…celebrate this anniversary…last one where it's just the two of us."

"It will always be the two of us," he kissed her once more, "nothing…even our babies, will change that."

Meredith woke him in the middle of the night, "Derek…"

"Uhmmm…"

"Derek," she touched his arm, "wake up…" she shook him slightly.

"What…" he said, almost instinctively, "what's wrong?"

"I can't get comfortable…I'm sorry…I can't sleep…the leg cramps are bad tonight."

"Hey," he turned to her, "no apologies…we're in this together."

"I haven't really had them…not too bad, except this last week."

"Do you want anything? Something to drink?"

"No…just…help me up…I need to try to walk," she said, and he walked with her back and forth for several minutes inside the trailer.

"Do you want to get back in bed?"

"Yeah…it's better now," she said.

He helped her get somewhat comfortable. "Do you want some pillows behind you?"

"No…" she said, "but… will you hold me?"

He simply got in bed behind her and helped her settle against him, wrapping his arms around her, his hands resting on their baby.

"She's awake," Derek said, as he rubbed her very pregnant belly and felt the baby kick.

"Baby's been," Meredith said trying to keep the gender neutral as the impending birth got closer, though not successfully most of the time, "very active tonight."

"Hey…princess…Mommy's tired and needs to get some sleep…how about you get some sleep too," he said, and continued talking to both his wife and child.

"Oh God…" Meredith said suddenly, "Derek…did you feel that?"

"I did…" he couldn't keep the tone of concern from his voice, as it had literally felt that the baby was performing acrobatic stunts. "I do…Mer…you ok…" he said, as he saw her wince.

"Yeah…I guess…" she said, as the baby kept up her unusually persistent kicks and wiggling for several minutes.

"You think," Derek said, "Mer…we …maybe it bothered her…we had sex…and …"

"Derek," she said, surprised at her calmness, "she can't feel any of that…"

"Maybe…"

"Wait…" she said suddenly, her hands trying to find the baby's movements.

"What…what's wrong?"

"Derek…I think she shifted…I really do…all those punches…feel…she's not lying across me horizontally anymore…"

"Really…"

"Really," Meredith told him, guiding his hand, "I really think he may have turned…feel here…it feels like the head is down…but I'm not sure…"

"Call Nancy…" he said.

"Derek…it's barely five in the morning."

"So what… she gets up early, she has to deliver babies all the time."

"Derek…I'm not calling her now…"

"Fine, I will…"

"Derek," she rolled her eyes. "The baby's finally settled, let's try to get some sleep," she told him as she felt a small little nudge every so often, but not enough to keep her up.

Meredith's next appointment was a day before her due date, and Baby Shepherd remained content in the warmth of the womb; movements though ever present were more moderate and less frequent given the cramped space; Nancy and Dr. Cameron had both confirmed the baby had probably flipped into position the night of her acrobatic performance. However, her doctor also confirmed there were no other indications of an impending birth in the next couple of days.

Two days later, she was at the hospital working in the clinic, when Derek walked in and saw her pacing, her hand on her back as her face revealed obvious signs of discomfort.

"Hey," he said, "how are you feeling?"

"Awful…" she whined, surprising him, as she had done very little complaining throughout her pregnancy.

"Are you having any signs of contractions," he asked hopefully.

"Not the real thing," she sighed, and he placed his hand on her back, massaging her.

"Can you take a little break?"

"Yeah…" she said, and turned to speak to the nurse in charge, and then they walked away holding hands.

"Mer…" Cristina came across them, "you're off at two, I'll find you to drive you home."

"Thanks Cristina, but I think I need to go home earlier today, I'm really tired," her hours had remained at six daily, with no more than thirty a week, as she had insisted she wanted to work as long as she could.

"You ok? Are you having contractions?"

"I'm not in labor, no real contractions," she smiled; the question seemed to be the first thing her friends would ask during the several days. "I'm just feeling uncomfortable and clumsy and tired."

"How much earlier?" Cristina asked. "If I can't make it…Alex or Mark…or Lexie…"

"It's ok Cristina," Derek said, "it's Sunday, I'm her driver today."

"Derek," Meredith said, when they reached their destination, the hospital rooftop terrace. "I know I said I wanted to wait…till the last minute…but…I think I need to stay home…it can't be that much longer…right…it can happen anytime, and Dr. Cameron said if I'm much later than a week…I don't want you to think I'm being weak and…"

"Meredith," he interrupted her, "I don't know why you haven't stayed home before…I can tell you're tired…and it's normal…but I'm not going to think anything other than you're about to have our baby…and I wish you would get some rest the last few days before the baby comes."

"But…then I'll have less time with the baby at home," her eyes glistened.

"You'll have all the time with the baby that you want…you can make that decision later. We'll do whatever you want…"

"I'm going to ask Bailey…if it's ok…to just cut back to four hours today and tomorrow."

"I'll drive you home now," he told her the minute she admitted needing to cut back hours, "and I'll talk to her about your hours."

"Derek, she won't like that," she closed her eyes, "crap…that hurt…"

"Contraction?"

"The non-productive kind…the real kind apparently are felt all over the abdomen, this is just lower abdomen…and no consistency…sporadic at best."

"You don't know that…this could be it…"

"We'll know soon enough," she leaned into him. "I'm supposed to see Dr. Cameron again tomorrow, Nancy talked to him and figured I'd feel better if he checked again for any dilation, so he's promised her he would see me every day if it makes me feel better, and that just makes me sound like a…"

"First time mom…" he interrupted her, "and lucky to have lots of people that want to take care of you."

The next day, Dr. Cameron told her it was not a bad idea to stay home, most mothers took did not wait to go into labor. He also told her there was no dilation and that if she did not go into labor by the 27th, which was a week past her due date, he'd likely induce labor.

"Carolyn," Meredith said two days later, "Derek convinced me to stay home, after Bailey only let me work four hours after I saw Dr. Cameron and then she forced me to take yesterday off.

"I think it was an excellent decision on her part," Carolyn told her. "Jenna's staying at home, but you already know this, starting next week. She wants to spend time with the girls before a new baby is in the house."

"She told me," Meredith said, "and Derek walked in when I was talking to her, and she told him to convince me to stay home, since I'd slept all day and that my back is bothering me a lot now… so I agreed, I still need to get things ready in the nursery."

"Meredith," Carolyn chuckled, "you had that done weeks ago."

"But I got new things…Mark and Lexie keep buying baby outfits, and even Cristina showed up the other day with a tiny baby scrub cap…I told her it wasn't Halloween anytime soon, but she thought the first time the baby goes to the hospital…for the first pediatrician's appointment it would be appropriate…"

"Oh, I bet she will insist on it after the baby is born," Carolyn laughed, and told her she was convinced her granddaughter would arrive at the perfect moment.

"Carolyn," Meredith said, "I may be having a boy…"

"I know dear," Carolyn said, "but…her daddy's convinced…"

"You don't think," Meredith asked her suddenly, "he'd be disappointed…do you…if it's a boy?"

"Meredith," Carolyn smiled across the miles, "I think…the moment he knows you've delivered a healthy baby, and that you're both ok…it won't matter one bit…if it's a boy or a girl."

"You're probably right," Meredith joked, "as long as the baby has his hair."

"I have to say," Carolyn chuckled, "you are probably right about that."

"Carolyn," Meredith said, her voice turning serious, "do you think it's ok…that there's no sign of the baby coming…I don't want to worry Derek about this…and I know if I say something to Jenna she'll tell him…"

"From what Nancy tells me," Carolyn assured her, "everything is quite normal, and she spoke with Dr. Cameron after your last visit. Now…you just have to get some rest, because once the baby's here…you won't know the meaning of the word."

"Do you think," Meredith asked, a bit uncertain, "if the baby's really late…you'll still be able to come?"

"I will be there when the baby is born, no matter when that is."

"I really want the baby to get here," Meredith told her.

"Of course you do dear, at this point you're like every Mom who just wants the baby to be born. Jenna's the same way and she has almost three weeks to go."

"Carolyn…I want the baby to come…because I hope you can be here…but I know that if Jenna's baby comes early…you'll have to be there…"

"I'm going to be there when your baby is born," Carolyn told her, "sweetheart, Jenna and I have already spoken about the possibility of you being very late and her baby coming early, and Jenna wants me to be there for your first baby…even if it means I may miss hers…she's had me here twice…and she wants me to be there for you and Derek and welcome your first child."

"Oh…but I couldn't…" Meredith sniffled, her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm going to be there Meredith…God willing, to welcome your baby."


	27. Chapter 27

_A/N 2 JUL - Thanks to all that are reading and especially those of you that comment; characters exceeded MCB limit, thus two part posting._

_To the anonymous reader: thanks for your honesty, your comment is quoted below. I noticed you reviewed ch 26, but mentioned could not get past ch 8; my apologies you were subjected to such unpleasant reading, I certainly hope for your sake you did not continue reading the story, I don't think I improved much as the chapters progressed, and you'd absolutely hate my other stories._

person without account - 2010-06-30 . chapter 26: I liked the idea for the story, but I could only make it to chapter eight, and then I couldn't take it any more. It is just too whiny and repetitive. If you could cut back on a lot of the whining and stop having every one saying the same thing over and over again, I think you'd have a good story. All in all, pretty good for a fanfiction :)

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 25 – Part 3 of 4**

Three days past her due date, she'd spoken to all his sisters at least once a day, since she really didn't have a lot to do, in spite of the fact she'd been showing all typical signs of nesting. Derek had come home for lunch and she'd been adamant that they needed to clean the attic as well; he immediately called the cleaning service to be there every day, effective immediately, insisting she give instructions rather than doing it herself.

"Thankfully," Jenna told Meredith later that evening, "the baby has dropped…and I can breathe easier, but now your goddaughter's making me go to the bathroom all the time."

"Jenna," Meredith said, while Derek continued to read a book, as Meredith stretched out with her back against the couch's arm rest and her legs over his, and as he read, he massaged her legs starting with the thighs that had been bothering her the last few days. "I'm achy everywhere…my thighs, the pelvic area …my back, and this baby is determined to make me wait."

Wednesday morning she woke filled with energy and determined to make breakfast. Derek found her in the kitchen at seven in the morning and had to hold back his laughter when he saw her standing in front of the stove, biting her lower lip as she intently concentrated on cooking; the cupboards around her were at various stages of being emptied, their contents all over the counters.

"Hey," Derek walked up to her and kissed her cheek, "you're cooking."

"I know…it's important Derek…I have to start learning…our kids will starve if don't."

"I don't think our kids will starve," he nuzzled her neck, and chuckled lightly, teasing her, "at least this one," his arms were around, his hands resting on their baby, "will give you at least three months before she complains, she'll be happy with Mommy's milk."

"You…think…it's funny…" she untangled herself from his hold, "it's not…Derek."

"Mer," he turned her to face him and saw the tears, "I'm teasing you."

"It's not nice Derek…I'm trying…and you're making fun of me…"

"I'm not," he treated lightly. "I just think you have time…and Mom will be here, and I bet she can help you."

Meredith ignored him, concentrating fully on the omelet on the skillet, until she was satisfied with the results and placed it on the plate beside her. "There."

"Looks good," Derek said.

"Don't make fun of me…"

"I'm not," he told her, "let's have breakfast."

"Derek," she turned to him. "I'm really trying…I think I got it right…I already made two other ones this morning."

"When did you get up," he asked her, as he looked around the kitchen.

"Around five. The baby's making me get up a lot and I couldn't sleep."

"You should have woken me Meredith…"

"I wanted to surprise you," she smiled at him, "with breakfast."

"You did …" he smiled, and leaned in to kiss her, "how about you sit down now, and I finish getting breakfast on the table."

"I can do it," she told him, and waddled to the refrigerator, pouring orange juice and gathered a bowl of fruit she'd already prepared, as well as a small bowl of muesli for him. "Ok…we're ready," she said, and smiled at him, "tell me what you think."

"It's very good," he told her.

"Really…you're not just humoring me? I followed the instructions carefully, and watched the video when I made the first one, and then again…"

"You were watching a video to make an omelet?"

"On the laptop…there's this website…they have recipes and they have clips on how to prepare it."

"An omelet?"

"You are making fun of me," she said, her eyes lowered, "and it's not nice," her hands rested on the baby.

"I'm not…I just had no idea they have that on the internet. Mer…it's really good."

"I was talking to your Mom, and I added onions and green peppers to make it healthier for you, she said that was a good mix to add."

"It's very good," he smiled at her, "now eat," he said and was surprised she actually reached for a bowl of fruit and cereal.

"You're not having this?"

"I tasted the first two, so I've had enough eggs…"

"Taste," he brought a forkful to her mouth, "it's really very good."

"It is," she said after she ate the portion. "At least the baby will have breakfast…when it's ok to eat eggs which is probably not till a year from now…Derek…what am I going to do…I have no time…and I need to learn."

He smiled, reaching for both her hands, "Mom will teach you, she already told you."

"Derek, she's here for a week only, if this baby ever gets here, and then she has to go back home for Jenna's delivery…she's not going to have any time to teach me to cook."

"She'll be back," Derek told her, "stop stressing about it. You spoke to her on the phone today and you can always to that. Tell me, why are you emptying the cupboards?"

"Everything needs to be cleaned…and disinfected…and…"

"Meredith, we agreed, you wouldn't do any of it…that's why we have someone here everyday. I hope you're not climbing on that step stool."

"I'm not," she told him, "that's why the top shelves need to be emptied."

"What are you doing today?" Derek asked but his answer would be provided momentarily

"Good morning," Lexie said as she walked into the kitchen and sat with them at the table.

"You're early," Meredith said, "I thought the baby sitting shift started at nine."

"Derek said he has an eight a.m. shift today," Lexie smiled, Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Derek," she told her husband, "I don't need someone with me all the time."

"You can go into labor anytime," he told her, "I prefer to know you're not alone."

"Whatever," Meredith said, graciously accepting all the attention she was getting from her family. They'd discussed that he wanted to be with at home with her. But, she'd encouraged him to work, partly because he'd want to spend more time at home after the baby was born, and the other because they'd probably end up getting in each other's nerves as they gave in to first time parent insecurities.

Meredith and Lexie spent the day together, including going out to lunch and last minute shopping Meredith insisted were things the baby needed.

"Mer," Lexie laughed, "you have no idea what the baby needs."

"That's beside the point," Meredith laughed, "they're adorable."

"I agree," Lexie smiled, "but between Mark and Derek…"

"And you and Cristina," Meredith interrupted.

"Yeah…well…" Lexie said as she picked another item.

"Lexie, we have plenty of those at home."

"It's for when we babysit," she told her sister. "Mer…you have to see the portable crib we got…Mark was on the internet researching the safest…"

"Mark was doing that," Meredith said, her eyes watering, "or you insisted, because he told me you were rather adamant about the safety issue…"

"I was," Lexie said, "but he told me money wasn't an object and the best were …"

"Lex…I need to sit down," she said suddenly.

"What's wrong? Meredith…are you having contractions?"

"I don't know," she said, "but…" Lexie linked her arm through hers and walked to a nearby chair.

"What are you feeling?"

"It's probably nothing…but…just really tired all of a sudden, and some strong Braxton Hicks…they've been persistent all morning."

"Ok…we're going home so you can put your feet up and get some rest," and was surprised her sister offered no resistance.

"Yeah," Meredith said, "but let's pay for those things first."

Later that evening, what unbeknownst to them was actually three days before Baby Shepherd's arrival, their Seattle family came over for dinner, bringing everything with them, courtesy the baby's godfather.

"How's my godchild behaving," Mark asked her and she took his hand and placed it on her abdomen and to his delight the baby moved.

"Doesn't have a lot of room in there anymore," Meredith told him, "but still managing to move quite a bit I think."

"She'll be here before you know it," Mark smiled, and kissed her cheek.

"Derek," Owen said, "Cristina has something for you."

"Really…and I don't have to duck or wear protective gear."

"Ass," Cristina mumbled, "it's a good thing I kind of like you now."

"I'm having a baby," Meredith commented, "and he gets something from you?"

"Mer, whining doesn't suit you. I've been really proud of you, don't let me down now."

"She can whine all she wants," Mark said, "Yang, she's going to push a baby out…"

"Actually," Meredith said, shifting on the couch, Derek immediately putting a pillow behind her back. "I don't think so…" her hands gently rubbed her very pregnant belly, "you're happy in there …aren't you baby," the baby moved, "of course you are…but, we just have to let Daddy know…if you really decide to stay in there, so he can load up on chocolate ice cream from Mora's and pizza…and I won't ever have to get up because you have me waddling baby…like a bit fat duck."

"More like a penguin," Alex said, "ducks kind move their ass as they walk along…you're just waddling side to side," he took a bite of dessert, "like a penguin."

"Alex," Lexie said, "you are the most insensitive...jerk…"

"Lexie," Meredith said, "don't worry about it…he's actually right…"

"You're beautiful," Derek told her, his hand protectively over their child, "to me…"

"You have to say that," she smiled.

"I don't…you are…" he kissed her softly, just as the doorbell rang.

"Mer," Cristina said, "are you expecting anyone…we're all here."

"Derek?" Mer asked.

"How about," Alex smirked, "you open the door and find out."

"Smart ass," Lexie mumbled.

"You better watch it," Mark whispered to her, "she may not let you babysit."

"I heard her," Meredith said, "she's right…and the baby's not listening."

Derek chuckled as he got up and walked to the door and smiled as soon as he saw who was standing on the other side.

"Ma…" he hugged her tight, "what are you doing here?"

"I decided I needed to be here," she hugged him back. "You're having a party?"

"Just our family," he smiled and they walked back to the living room. "Mer…we have an uninvited guest," he winked at his mother.

"Hello sweetheart," Carolyn Shepherd walked quickly to her daughter in law's side and sat down.

"Carolyn," "Meredith whispered, her eyes shining with emotional and sentimental tears, "you're here…how…"

"After I spoke to you this morning," Carolyn hugged her, "I wanted to be here…I wasn't waiting any longer…but…I made a reservation at the hotel."

"What…why…" Meredith interrupted her.

"You and Derek need this time alone."

"No…" Meredith told her, "you can't do that…"

"Sweetheart, I'll be just a few minutes away."

"Carolyn…" Meredith held her gaze, "I want you here…"

"Meredith," she protested, "we'll talk about it later," she smiled.

"Mom," Derek asked, "why didn't you call? I would have gone to the airport…"

"I'm perfectly capable of taking a cab, but I did figure I could use Meredith's car while I'm here since she's no longer driving. Looks like I picked the right night to get here…the whole family together," she said, having already embraced their friends and accepted them as family and followed with greeting everyone affectionately.

"Mark, dear, this was very sweet of you…you're taking the role of godfather very seriously."

"My first godchild," Mark said, "and Lexie's niece or nephew," he smiled.

"Hey," Cristina said, "my niece or nephew too."

"Kid's already in enough trouble," Alex smirked.

"Listen you evil spawn," Cristina started, but Owen wrapped his arms around her, whispered something in her ear.

"I think," Owen said, "you should give Derek his gift."

"You just don't want an argument…" Cristina told him, and smiled at him. "Derek," she said, "this should come in handy…"

"I'm afraid to open it," Derek commented as he held the bag in front of him.

"Dude, knowing Yang, she's got a gift in there that will scare Mer into going into labor."

Two hands reached out simultaneously to smack Alex on the back of the head.

"Shit, that hurt," Alex said turning to Cristina and Lexie.

"Alex…watch the language," Meredith told him.

"What…" Alex said, "I say that and the baby's listening, but when Lexie says…"

"Don't argue with her," Mark told him, "she's right…all the time."

"Dude, I heard about the psychic nun's prediction," he smirked. "You better hope you're not the father to Lexie's kids…between the two of them…you don't stand a chance."

"Carolyn," Lexie ignored Alex, "if you think this was Mark in his godfather role," she smiled at him, "you should see all the things he's bought for the baby…making our apartment baby friendly…for when we babysit."

"That's good," Carolyn smiled, and turned to Meredith and said quietly, "good practice."

"Derek," Owen chuckled, "open the bag…it's inoffensive."

"I'm sitting next to Mer," Derek said, "she wouldn't do anything to hurt Mer…"

"Derek, take the thing out of the bag," Cristina ordered, and he complied.

"Cristina," he said, and was indeed choked up, "it's a great gift…" he said of the dark blue scrubs that had _McDaddy_ embroidered over the pocket.

"Mer's getting all the attention," Cristina said, "but you had something to do with it."

Derek got up and hugged Cristina, "thank you."

Carolyn placed her hand over Meredith's stomach rubbing gently, "I have a special request."

"What is it?" Meredith smiled at her.

"I want to be there," Carolyn said, "when you reveal who the…godmother," she paused, a knowing smile on her face, "is…"

"I think," Meredith put her hand over Carolyn's, "we can arrange that…"

The next two hours went by quickly as their Seattle family and Carolyn continued strengthening their relationship, though Meredith's failed attempt to stifle a yawn became the signal for everyone's departure.

"Mer's yawning," Alex said, "time for us to go…"

"I'm not tired," Meredith argued, "really…"

"Usually," Cristina said, "you just yawn when all the talk's about you anyway."

"I was not…" Meredith told her, "and I'm glad…all of you are here."

"Mer…" Lexie said as Derek made room for her to sit next to her sister. "Next time we see you," she smiled and rubbed her sister's belly, "could be when the baby's born."

"I hope you're right," Meredith said, "but…this little one has given no signs…"

"I don't know," Cristina said, "how you were out shopping, Lexie, you realize her water could break any second, and you'd be out in public."

Meredith laughed, "we're not in the Victorian ages Cristina. If it happens, people will know why," and everyone laughed.

"Cristina," Lexie told her, "it's not that common really, for a woman's water to break before labor, it only happens in about ten percent of cases."

"Lexie's about right," Carolyn added, "Nancy's mentioned that same statistic, and only with one of my pregnancies did that happen."

Meredith shifted positions on the couch and Lexie noted the slight discomfort on her sister's face. "Mer…I'll call you tomorrow, and I'll be by after work…you need to get some rest and keep track of those Braxton-Hicks…they could be the real thing."

"I'm ok…"

"Your sister is right," Carolyn said, "and if Mark doesn't mind he can drop me off at the hotel."

"Carolyn," Meredith said, "I want you to stay with us…"

"Sweetheart," Carolyn said, "I'll be here in the morning."

"Derek…" Meredith turned to him.

"Mom," he said, "I'll drive you later. If that's what you decide."

"Derek…I don't think," Carolyn started to say.

"Mama Shep," Cristina said, "I think…you better accept what Mer wants," and with that, everyone said their good nights and took care of the corresponding clean up duty after the dinner and visit that had taken place, leaving nothing to be done for the soon to be parents or grandmother.

"Meredith," Carolyn said, "sweetheart…these are the last moments of privacy and intimacy the two of you are going to have…and I don't want to be that hateful mother in law…I want to be here to help, but not to…"

"Carolyn," Meredith told her, "I never thought … you would stay at a hotel…I thought you'd be here…when you said you'd come…before the baby came…"

"I know…but…I came without calling…I just…"

"All the more reason…I want you here…Derek's working during the day, he has everyone on babysitting duty…I'd rather have you…"

"Ma," Derek said, "we both want you here…"

"You're two very stubborn…"

"Carolyn…it will make me feel better…if you're here."

"Fine…" Carolyn agreed. "But now…you get to bed and get some rest, do you want anything, before you go to sleep?"

"Hot chocolate," Derek answered.

"Not you…" Carolyn smacked him lightly.

"Your granddaughter Mom," he told her, "that's what I'm told she wants every night."

"All right then," Carolyn smiled. "I'll be up in a little bit."

"Carolyn," Meredith said, "it's been a long trip…please, just get settled in."

"Nonsense, you know I'm up this late every night…Derek help your wife up."

"Derek," Meredith said once she'd settled in bed, "you really didn't know she was coming?"

"Not a clue," Derek said, "none of the girls said anything either."

"I'm glad she's here," Meredith said just as they heard a soft knock on the door, and called out for Carolyn to come in.

"Here you go," she said, "hot chocolate for my newest grandbaby, and her mom and dad," she smiled at them.

"And her Grandma…" Derek teased her as there were three cups on the tray.

"More like Granma," Carolyn smiled, "since she's likely to learn from Meghan and Katie."

"Granma," Meredith smiled and reached for Carolyn's hand and placed it over her abdomen, "your grandbaby…is saying thank you," there was a subtle movement, and they spoke a few more minutes before Carolyn kissed Meredith's cheek and then turned to Derek and did the same and bid them goodnight.

Derek didn't hear a phone ring, but he knew his wife was on the phone with his sister Jenna as soon as he heard the first of several attempts to withhold her laughter, which now sounded muffled as she buried her face on the pillow to keep from waking him.

"Mer," Derek said, "I'm awake…and if it's that funny, I want to hear about it too."

"Sorry," she said, clumsily trying to turn, and found herself in his arms as he made it easier for her. "Morning," she smiled, as he kissed her.

"It's still night," he said, "Mer it's not even four…"

"Sorry…I couldn't sleep…and Jenna was up…"

"Meredith," Jenna said, "I'm still here…put us on speaker phone."

"Not on your life," Meredith giggled, as she thought of the conversation they'd had.

"Wimp…" Jenna laughed.

"I can hear her you know," Derek nuzzled her neck, "my sister is loud and…"

"Mer," Jenna laughed, "it's not a big deal…hell…you have sex all the time."

"Oh God," Meredith groaned, and Derek chuckled, placing the phone on speaker.

"So," Derek said, "you insist on embarrassing me and talking about your sex life."

"Not mine," Jenna's laughter filled their room, "but yours…I'm telling Meredith what she needs to do to get that baby ready to be born."

"You're suggesting sex…" Derek said, and smiled at Meredith, his hand caressing her face, as she lay on her side, heavily pregnant.

"I'm not suggesting," Jenna said, "I told her we needed to make a pact, because…really, for me, sex has helped with both girls when there was no dilation…"

"Jenna," Derek said, "I don't think I want details."

"Mer's already heard them," his sister said, and he heard his brother in law's amused chuckle."

"Rob's listening to us?"

"Of course," Jenna said, "Derek it's barely seven in the morning, we're in bed."

"So why are you up and not sleeping?"

"You are truly brainless if you're asking that question," she said, and Meredith giggled. "Your wife is forty one weeks pregnant…almost, and she's not sleeping through the night either, so you must be either…"

"I got it," Derek said, rubbing Meredith's belly.

"Well," Jenna said, "I told Meredith we need to make a pact here…because I'm willing, I really am to give up on Mom being here for this baby's birth so she can be there for yours, but if we work together on this…Ma can be present at both babies' birth."

Derek chuckled as did his brother in law, "you really think you can control this."

"Of course we can," Jenna said, her own husband rubbing her huge baby bump. "I told Meredith the two of you need to have sex as often as possible, and I'll agree to postpone any sex till she goes into labor, just in case, I want to make sure I don't."

They heard Rob's voice in the background, "we have three weeks left and you want to do what…you never told me…"

"Honey," Jenna turned to him, "it's just a couple days…she's going to go into labor for sure in the next couple days…and then, you and I can…"

"Never mind," Derek said, "Jenna Patricia you're out of your mind."

"I am not." Jenna argued. "I guarantee if you two have sex…a few orgasms…and Mer will go into labor by Sunday morning…in fact…I'll bet…"

"Forget it," Derek said, "I'm not betting on this…and we're …"

"Derek," Jenna laughed, "keep in mind…after the baby's born…brother dear…you've got a long wait…"

"Jenna, how can you even be talking like this?"

"I've been through this…three times…" his sister laughed. "Believe me, those Godiva truffles, and Mora's ice cream…hell any chocolate is often better at this stage. But," she smiled wickedly at her husband Rob, "I still don't mind…"

"Jenna," Meredith giggled, "we got the message…and your brother is turning red."

"Prude," Jenna laughed. "Mer…ignore him…but trust me…it works," she said, and the two women spoke for a few more minutes before disconnecting the call.

"She's crazy," Derek shook his head, "don't pay attention to her."

"I know," she told him, and looked away from him. "I can't imagine that you'd be in the least interested, or attracted to me…I'm truly huge now and …why would you even want to…"

"Uhmmm…." He silenced her with a kiss. "I love you…and I still want you…and the last time…just a couple days ago should have proven that to you…and I don't think you're huge, I think you're beautiful…but I don't want to do anything that will make you uncomfortable or…"

"Derek," she said, just a bit shyly, "I don't always just want chocolate."

"Uhmmm…" He smiled, holding her close to him, "and we do want to practice being quiet…for when the baby gets here," she smiled at him.

"Derek…" she kissed him, "maybe…a morning quickie…that won't be so quick…with this duckling," she giggled, "between us…but…if I can get a couple hours of sleep, before you leave… we can…"

"We can," he cupped her face, kissing her softly, "we will…"

"Carolyn," Meredith said a few hours later, "maybe Cristina is right, and I should be embarrassed if I'm out and my waters break…"

"That's ridiculous," Carolyn said, "besides, we're going to the hospital to see your doctor. If you waters break…we're right where we should be."

"Well," Meredith bit her lip lightly, "I was going to suggest we have an early lunch…I'm really craving cheesecake."

"We'll do that," Carolyn told her, "are you ready to leave?"

"In a few minutes," Meredith told her, "your granddaughter," she smiled at the fact she was more likely to refer to the baby as a girl, and not hold back, while talking to Carolyn, "is making it impossible not to go to the bathroom very frequently."

"We have time," Carolyn smiled, and continued tidying up the already immaculate kitchen. "I'll give Jenna a call, that child already left me a message this morning."

Meredith walked back in the kitchen a few minutes later and heard Carolyn's laughter. "Jenna Patricia, but you do enjoy torturing your brother, why would you say something like that…yes I know it's true, and sex has worked with both your pregnancies…"

"Oh God," Carolyn heard Meredith's soft gasp and turned, "this is so embarrassing."

"It shouldn't be," Carolyn answered immediately, "I had five kids Meredith, I know about sex."

"Jenna," Meredith took the phone away from her mother in law, "you have a big mouth."

"I know," Jenna told her, "but I want Ma out of the house tonight…so you two can be as loud as you want…Mer…believe me…it does wonders…"

"I can't believe you," Meredith could not help but laugh, and as she'd done so often since his Mother had flown to his side after the accident, slipped into calling her the now so often familiar title, "Mom…and you let her."

"Of course I do," Carolyn placed her hand around Meredith's shoulder, "how could I possibly pretend I don't know about these things…with five kids of my own."

"Mer," Cristina said as she met them off the elevator, "Alex is right…you're waddling like a penguin."

"Thank you for that Cristina," Meredith snapped at her.

"What," Cristina frowned, "you said so yourself."

"Wait till you're pregnant," Meredith told her, "I'll remind you of that."

"I'm not having kids," Cristina said.

"Fine," Meredith retorted. "I'll tell Owen's wife when they come over for dinner…"

"Mer…I've told you before, leave the sarcasm to me."

"Bitch."

"Mer…you just called me…a bitch, in front of baby Shepherd. Maybe…you're really starting labor, Lexie said."

"Cristina dear," Carolyn interrupted, "it's best to just go with the flow…"

"Yes," Cristina said, "Mama Shep. Sorry Mer…when are you seeing Dr. Cameron?"

Meredith just shook her head, "do not go bet on my baby's birth date…"

"Mer, you know we agreed…"

"Yes, not to share it with the hospital. But, I just bet…you're in charge of the internal family betting pool," she said, and missed the brief exchange of glances between Carolyn and Cristina that would ultimately confirm she was right on the money.

"Meredith," Callie greeted her as she walked up to the nurse's station and rested on the way to her appointment, "you look great, is it time yet? Are you here to see Dr. Cameron? Has he changed your due date?"

"Callie," Meredith said, "I can't possibly look great this pregnant. Yes, I'm here to see Dr. Cameron and no he has not changed my due date," she said, a little out of breath.

"Mrs. Shepherd, it's nice to see you again. Dr. Grey," Nurse Debbie addressed her quietly, "I know your due date is early April. But, I'd say you're having a baby no later than Monday."

"I don't know Debbie," Meredith said. "There's no sign at all of that."

"Just you wait," the older woman smiled, "just looking at you…I'd bet…"

"Debbie," Cristina interrupted her, "Meredith's really not keen on betting…"

"No need to warn her Cristina," Meredith rolled her eyes, "I know it's taking place."

"Well," Debbie said conspiratorially, "the fact Dr. Shepherd's last day is today…sort of gives a big hint…"

"He's what?" Meredith said, truly surprised. "He's not taking time off yet."

"I won't say a thing," Debbie told her.

"He's really not supposed to take time off, till after the baby's born." Meredith said.

"Meredith," Debbie said, "I won't breathe a word…we'll chalk it up to nurse's privilege of seeing McDreamy naked," and Meredith and Carolyn exchanged glances before laughing good naturedly.

"I'll have to talk to my husband," Meredith shook her head, still laughing; her hand on her belly, "and see what he's done that I have no idea about."

"Meredith," Debbie smiled, "he's being McDreamy…enjoy it…"

"I will," Meredith continued rubbing her belly tenderly. "Debbie…I hope you're right," she smiled at the Nurse, one of the few that had been invited to her baby shower, "that this baby doesn't wait till April."

"There you are," Derek came rushing toward her, a huge grin on his face, "I've been waiting for you," he kissed her check and the palm of his hand settled on their baby. "I have a surprise for you," he whispered.

"I think…" Meredith told him. "Everyone already knows…"

"What…that's impossible," he said surprised.

"Really…it's Seattle Grace," she rolled her eyes.

"What do you think you know?"

"This is your last day working?" she challenged.

"Debbie…" Derek glared at her.

"I only told her…that's it…" Debbie told him, "I thought she knew."

"That ends all your privileges of ever seeing me naked again," he teased.

Meredith smacked him, "you ever scare me like that again…that she needs to see you naked, I will kill you!"

"I will help her," his mother said, and the small group laughed.

"Dr. Shepherd," Debbie smiled at him, "I haven't said anything to anyone…honestly."

"It's ok Debbie," Derek told her, "I just hadn't had a chance to tell Meredith that till the baby's born, after today, I'm officially at home…at her beck and call."

"You are…" Meredith said, and smiled in spite of herself.

"I am," he put his arm around her and kissed her temple, and then whispered, "because, I happen to know our baby is not going to wait too much longer."

"Really," Meredith giggled, as they walked away, "would you care to share your insight with me…while our little duckling continues their extended leisurely stay…inside me…"

"Ah….you see," Derek kissed her just as they reached Dr. Cameron's office, "I have a feeling."

"You're a nut," Meredith leaned into him, his mother and Cristina following behind them, both women, smiling.

"You'll see…" Derek kissed her lips again before he opened the door for her.

"Mama Shep," Cristina said, "and I will be having coffee, she's going to give me a crash course on baby sitting, before Owen drives me crazy about learning how to change a diaper. If he's so concerned, he can learn, and Lexie and Mark are the ones on baby sitting duty for the first two months anyway."

_A/N – 2 JUL – Thanks so very much to all that have commented on this story during the last year; to those that haven't commented, I hope you have enjoyed their journey. Part of me is pleased that I was not far off about the concept that Derek getting hurt was just waiting to happen, and that if Meredith were ever pregnant…it would be revealed at the time. However, I never expected that Derek would not find out, nor that Rhimes would write a miscarriage for Meredith; I'm grateful, for Ellen Pompeo's sake she was not asked to that scene during her own pregnancy; I would have flat out refused in her shoes._

_I've been telling you as each chapter is written how very much it means to get comments, and as you read the last chapter which is Pt 4, you will see…for each of you that has commented up to this last chapter Part 3, they do have their own rewards. Warm regards, Jasmin_


	28. Chapter 28

**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Chapter 25 – Part 4 of 4**

Meredith had not been made to wait when they arrived at Dr. Cameron's office, while Cristina, unexpectedly and willingly, kept Carolyn Shepherd company and revealed more about herself to a smiling Carolyn; her son was lucky, Meredith's _family_ had embraced him as well.

"Meredith," Dr. Cameron said after he'd examined her, "the baby is in position, no doubt about that. But, there's still no dilation or effacement."

"What does that really mean…" Meredith asked, "I mean…I know what it means, but you said if I went past a week…and that's Sunday…you'd induce me…and…"

"Let's take it one day at a time," he said, "you've continued having Braxton Hicks, that's normal, and this baby seems to have their own idea about timing…so just like getting into position was at her," he smiled, "or his pace, it could be the same thing over the next three days," he continued to talk to them about what to expect. They agreed, at Derek's insistence, since he was convinced the baby would be born by Sunday, they would enjoy this last baby-free weekend and if she had not gone into labor by Monday, they'd be back to see Dr. Cameron first thing that morning, ready to check in to the hospital.

Meredith was lying back on the examining table, her face a bit serious, half her body still covered by a white disposable sheet, when Dr. Cameron asked, "Meredith, do you have any other questions? Any concerns?"

"No," she said, but Derek could tell she was holding back, by the way she bit her lip.

"Dr. Cameron," Derek said, "is there any reason…should we…I mean…is it ok…they say …we've read…and heard that sometimes…to speed things up…you can…well you know…"

Michael Cameron was not much older than Derek, and he had a great laugh. "Derek," his laughter lingered, "I'm not laughing at you, but are you trying to ask me if it's ok if you two have sex?"

"You're dead…" Meredith mumbled and laid her head back completely on the table.

"Meredith," Cameron told her, "as long as your waters haven't broken, there is nothing wrong at all if the two of you want to be intimate. My wife swears it helped with our second baby," he told them, hoping that by sharing something similar they'd feel a bit less self conscious about Derek's question.

"That's what we've heard," Derek said.

"Meredith," Cameron reassured her, "you're in good health…both you and the baby are…and babies make their appearance when their ready, not before. I don't have any other patients now, and you two know how this machine works…if it will make you feel better…and you'd like to take one more look at the baby…take your time…no one will interrupt you. I hope to see you over the weekend, trust me, it can happen that fast."

"Mer," Derek said, "are you really mad at me…I had to ask…to know if it was ok."

"I'm not mad," she remained laying back on the table, her legs no longer on stirrups, the disposable sheet that had covered her from the waist down had now been discarded by Derek.

"Then," he helped her sit up, stood in front of her, and put his arms around her, her belly pressed into his stomach. "What is it?"

"Do you think…really…that the baby will come soon…he won't have to induce labor?"

"I think," he caressed her back tenderly, "the baby will come in the next couple days."

"Why?"

"I just have this feeling…Mer…that our princess will be here soon," he kissed her.

"I'm worried," she said, "Derek," her eyes filled with tears, "I don't want anything to go wrong…and everything always goes wrong…with me…just when I think it's ok…then something happens…like your accident…and…"

"Listen to me," he soothed and cradled her face in his hands. "Nothing is going to go wrong…our baby is going to be here as soon as she's supposed to," he wiped away a tear, "or he's supposed to, and we'll be ready…and yes, I had my accident, but I'm fine…and Meredith," he kissed her again softly, "we also found out about our baby at the same time…and everything has been fine and will continue to be that way…I know it."

"You're sounding like Aunt Pat," she sniffled.

"Hey…" he teased, "I'm her favorite nephew. I was bound to inherit some of her gift."

"You're her only nephew," Meredith gave him that half smile he loved.

"I am not," he told her, "there are other Maloney men."

"But," Meredith leaned into him, "your Mom's kids…are her favorites."

"Yeah," he smiled, "just like Aunt Pat's are Mom's favorites too."

"It's a Maloney thing," Meredith said smiling, her hand was resting on the back of his neck, her fingers instinctively entwined in his hair, "the favorite's thing…"

"You could say that," Derek smiled at her, and she leaned back a bit, he had that look in his eyes she'd never been able to resist, but now felt self conscious as she sat leaning back slightly on an examining table wearing only a royal blue, some would say indigo top, that hugged her heavily pregnant body.

"You're wearing my favorite color you know," Derek smiled, his hands on her thighs, massaging lightly.

"Derek…" Meredith said, "what…" his hands massaged just a little higher than before, his gazed locked with hers, "what …are you doing…" and his mouth covered hers rather than answer her, and she gave in to the pleasure of his kiss, intoxicating as always.

"Mer…" Derek whispered, his hand cupping her breast, while the other hand's exploration reminded her they were in the doctor's office, "we could …"

"You're…out of your mind…" she tried to tell him, "Derek…I've got to get dressed."

"You're wearing a blouse…" he teased her, "or a top…whatever it is…" and he heard the familiar moan.

"Derek…get my jeans…and…"

"Didn't," his tongue teased hers, "you tell me…" hers teased back, "we should be able to compare…week by week sex…for next time…"

"It's the doctor's office…" she moaned softly as his hands continued their well known and often traveled journey, and he nuzzled her neck, his mouth on her neck finding a favorite spot of hers for his lips and mouth to linger.

"It's actually an examining room," he raised an eyebrow suggestively, "we have very fond…memoires…unforgettable memories….of exam rooms…" and she gave in, surrendered completely, to the tingling and pleasurable sensations of her husband's hands and lips on her body.

"Derek…" she said, breathlessly, some time later. "I can't…" he chuckled and kissed her.

"We did…" he smiled.

"I can't ever show my face in this office again…"

"We weren't loud…we were quiet…"

"Right…"

"We were…at least…well, except once…you were very loud…just once…"

She smacked him playfully, "we'll have to stay here…till the end of the day…I'm not…"

"Mer," his arms wrapped around her, her belly pressed against his, "baby's very active."

"She must not be very happy with us…"

"She," Derek smiled, rubbing her belly, "you called her she…"

"I wasn't finished, and for that reason he's kicking me…"

"Mer," he cupped her face, "we're going to know soon…boy or girl…"

"We are," she leaned into him completely, "before April I hope…"

"Mer…" he asked, "you ok?"

"I am…" she smiled, "how can I not be?"

"I don't know…I thought maybe you're going to yell at me…you know…"

"Derek…" she kissed him, her hands cradling the back of his head, her fingers tangled in his hair, "best…past due date…pregnant exam room sex…ever…"

They both laughed, and he held her as close to him as possible, "you mean…you don't think we'll top this…next time?"

"Hope not… next time our second duckling better be on time…" she said, and they both smiled and their lips met in a tender loving kiss that spoke of every emotion they'd ever experienced, and as so often shared, renewed silent vows and promises of forever.

To Meredith's mortification, Dr. Cameron was talking to his staff, as the couple walked out of the examining room holding hands, and smiled at them.

"Meredith, Derek, I hope to see you over the weekend."

"Thank you Mike," Derek said, "we appreciated that you trusted us with your equipment, baby's looking great, it definitely made Meredith feel a lot better."

The two women smiled and walked away. "Whatever you did," Mike Cameron couldn't help but chuckle, "I'm sure it will work…I'll see you in a couple days."

"Oh my God," Meredith turned to him as they left the doctor's office, "that is the most embarrassing…humiliating…"

"Sex…" Derek teased her, "with me was embarrassing and humiliating…"

She smacked him playfully and rolled her eyes at him, "you know what I mean…" she said and couldn't help but smile as they almost bumped into Cristina and his mother.

"Don't tell me," Cristina said to Meredith, "the two of you…you did…didn't you…it's all over you face…the McDreamy had his way with me face. You're a million months pregnant…how is that even possible…never mind, I don't want to know…"

"You may," Meredith said playfully; "just in case…you decide you don't want Owen to have kids with another woman."

"No…" Cristina said, "he can do that."

"Oh dear," Carolyn smiled, "I'm going to have to visit more often, bring Pat with me."

"Mama Shep," Cristina told her, "there's no such thing as psychic nuns, so don't even..."

"Of course not dear," Carolyn smiled and turned to Meredith. "How are you sweetheart? What did Dr. Cameron say?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Cristina smirked.

"He's pretty confident the baby won't make me wait forever…I'll see him again on Monday, and he'll decide what to do then."

"You'll be back," Carolyn said confidently, and placed her hand over Meredith's abdomen, "before Monday."

"Derek," Meredith said, "you never told me about your surprise."

"You two…" Cristina shook her head. "I need a sugar antidote. Mer…let me know if sex worked…to speed up dilation."

"I'm having lunch with you," Derek told her, ignoring their friend.

"Oh…I was having lunch with Mom…with your Mom."

"So…you don't want me along?"

"Well…no, it's just…I didn't expect you'd be able to get away since we had the doctor's appointment already…so it's just a surprise."

"I can take a hint," he told her and she actually thought his feelings were hurt.

"Derek…" she soothed, "of course I want to have lunch with you…"

"I think it's an excellent idea," Carolyn said, "and gives me some time to spend with Mark and Lexie."

"Ma," Derek said, "I'd planned for you to join us too. But Meredith is right, I have things to wrap up here and would need to get back fairly soon, so the two of you should enjoy a nice leisurely lunch."

"Meredith," Carolyn said, "I promised Jenna I'd call after your appointment. Let me do that first and you call me when you're ready to go."

"Derek…" Meredith turned to him, "I'm sorry."

"Hey," he smiled at her, but she knew he was upset, "you're right…I have a lot of things to get done here today…it's ok."

Derek had rarely, if ever shown any signs of feeling left out throughout her pregnancy, in fact, he'd been wonderful, she thought, about her ever volatile emotional roller coaster and realized her reaction had made him feel that way; Meredith rarely resorted to Jenna like tactics, but now was as good a time as any, "Derek…I really need to sit down…can we go to your office?"

"Are you ok?" He was immediately on concerned husband/daddy mode. "Mer…is something wrong? Do we need to go back to Dr. Cameron?"

"I think so," she said, and held his hand as they walked the short distance to his office, "I think I'm ok…just need to sit down."

"Ok…" he said, leading her to the couch, "put your feet up…that should help…"

"Derek," she pulled him down next to her, "please, don't worry…and don't be mad at me…there's nothing wrong…but I needed to talk to you alone. I'm ok, but you're not and I'm sorry…because…you've done everything for me…months of anticipating anything I may want…and," her eyes glittered with tears, "and I know…just now, I hurt your feelings ...and I didn't mean to…of course I want to have lunch with you. Derek I want to spend every single moment with you, when I'm with you I always feel safe and loved…but you must be so tired of me already…and I'm starting to whine and get frustrated…and I just want to spare you a little of that…"

"I don't feel that way…I'm not tired of you …Mer…I want to make things easier for you…you're the one that's had to go through all the changes, physically and emotionally and all these months you've never complained…I want to feel useful…that I've done my share…"

"Oh…" she teased him, placing his hands over her belly, "you definitely did your share."

"You know what I mean," he was still serious.

"I do…and I love you…I really really love you…and if you can put up with me these next days…I want you with me…all the time."

"I thought," he said, clearing his throat as he often did when he was nervous, "you wanted a break from me…maybe that you were really mad at me…for today…"

"Derek…" she smiled at him, leaned into him and kissed him, "did I look mad at you…at all…over today?"

"Not while…no …but…"

"Derek…" she hugged him, "we have very fond…amazing…exam room memories…"

"You're not mad…"

"I'm not mad…" she said, and kissed him softly again, "I love you."

"So…" Derek said, "you don't mind if I tag along with you and Mom?"

"I don't mind at all," Meredith kissed him again, and then he helped her up, and on the way to meet up with his mother, they were bombarded with questions from Lexie and Mark and Alex in regard to her doctor's visit before they left the hospital.

"Dr. Shepherd…" Joseph greeted them warmly, "oh…Dr. Grey…molto bella," he reached for both of Meredith' s hands, and brought one to his lips, "you will have a little baby…very soon…" he smiled at her knowingly. "I have twenty grandchildren. Lucia," he called out to his wife in the kitchen, "come see our favorite customer…"

"Dottore Grey…" the old woman's Italian accent had never diminished, "bella ragazza...one or two days…bambino will be here."

"Lucia," Meredith smiled, "I hope you're right."

"You enjoy your lunch…and the cheesecake your husband called to make sure we had for you…and he asked for your two favorite cheesecakes," the woman revealed, "to take home with you."

"Ah…" Meredith reached for his hand, "my surprise…"

"Yes," he smiled.

"Thank you," Meredith kissed him softly.

"Now…you sit down…off your feet…the bambino is heavy now," Lucia told her, "I know…I had seven…so we take care of you," she said. "You brought your mother in law back to join us," the woman continued talking, and soon they were enjoying one of Meredith's favorite meals, and Derek, as he'd already planned took all the time we wanted.

"Mom…" Meredith smiled, "Carolyn," she corrected, "I'm going to start believing all of you…that this little one may just decide to join us this weekend."

"I'm sure the baby will be here this weekend." Carolyn told her. "You know dear," her mother in law continued, "I much prefer Mom…and I already know you told Mark and Derek the baby could not go to Yankee stadium at three months old…and you were absolutely right, especially when you told them the baby could watch the game from Mom's."

"I'm not sure," Meredith bit her lower lip, "sometimes I think it's ok…but I don't want to overstep…but, sometimes…it feels right to call you that."

"It should feel right," Carolyn placed her hand over Meredith's, indirectly over her grandchild, "all the time…whatever you want to call me. But, it's ever so much easier just to use Mom."

"Thank you," Meredith smiled at her, and Derek gave thanks for the relationship that had developed over the months between the two most important women in his life. "I'll probably still forget…sometimes…"

"I answer to just about anything," Carolyn smiled at her. "Tell me Derek, why is it that a nurse knows about your plans before your wife does?"

Meredith giggled. "That's because she's the only one I've given permission to see him naked."

"I remember that," Carolyn shot a disapproving look at Derek as she still could not understand how he'd gone out with that other nurse. "But…"

"Ma," Derek said, "she was the nurse in charge when I was in the hospital."

"I am aware of that Derek, and it does not answer my question."

Meredith tried to keep from laughing over Carolyn's obvious reprimand.

"Don't laugh," Derek told Meredith, "I'm not five."

"I'm not so sure of that," Carolyn said, "you and Mark act like it sometimes."

"I was talking to Mark," Derek said, and Meredith's laughter was no longer contained.

"We should have known," Meredith told Carolyn, "Mark was involved."

"If you must know," Derek smiled at his wife, "I was very excited and was telling Mark, I'd cleared my schedule until you had the baby…and Debbie, who hears everything was there, so…that's the reason she knew…and she said she'd keep it quiet."

"Huh…" Carolyn said, "it sounds reasonable. Just make sure in the future, your wife knows your plans before others do."

"Yes, mother."

"Impertinent brats," Carolyn said, "Pat's right about you kids," and smiled as she looked at the caller on her phone and answered. "Speak of the devil."

"Yes, Patricia, I will call you; no I will not rely on my daughters to do so," she said quietly, "I'll call you when we get home, it's rude to carry on a conversation while we're at a restaurant, by the way, you'll have to come here next visit, it's excellent Italian."

Carolyn Shepherd drove Meredith's car and they dropped off her son at the hospital, and then they spent the afternoon shopping for last minute things she thought Meredith may actually want, and the rest on the phone to all his sisters.

Meredith was ordered to get off her feet as soon as she got home, and though she protested, she obliged and followed Carolyn's instructions and soon was lightly snoring.

"You're watching me sleep," she shifted positions on the bed, and stared at her husband who was sitting across from her on the chair by the window. "You know…that's still kind of …"

He smiled and crossed the small distance and knelt in front of her. "I love you," he kissed her, then kissed her belly, "how are you feeling?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes…"

"Your mom won't let me do anything, and it feels great…to be pampered…"

"Well…then…" he smiled and kissed her again, "we have more of that…"

"Not you…you've done enough pampering…tonight…it's my turn," she kissed him, "help me sit up."

"What are you talking about," he sat next to her, his arm around her as she snuggled against him, her head resting on him.

"My night to pamper you…and you have to let me…"

"Mer…"

"Please…" she said, and kissed him softly. "I need to do something…want to do something…for you."

"You don't need to…"

"It's your last day at work…and I heard you got stuck in a long surgery…"

"How did you hear?"

"Cristina."

"Figures."

"I asked her. I was worried when you weren't home by five as you'd mentioned…so I texted her before I fell asleep."

"Spies…"

"Everywhere," she teased. "Be right back," she said, and joined him a few minutes later.

"Baby duckling," she said, "is making me get up to go to the bathroom a lot…though it's a lot easier to breathe now."

"What do you need?" He got up and hugged her.

"You." She smiled at him, "naked."

"Now? You really want to…"

"Yes…" she giggled, "but, get your mind out of the gutter. The water's running…your turn for a long leisurely relaxing bath."

"You joining me?"

"No…just you…"

"Mer…there's no need."

"I'm going to do my best…imitation of rubbing your back, after a long tired day."

"Mer…"

"Derek…you've done everything for me…let me do this… for you," she said, and he went along with her; his back stiff and muscles sore after a four hour surgery, and they laughed their way through his bath, as his wife attempted and managed quite well to assist him in his leisurely bath.

"Mer," he teased as he got dressed. "Where did you find that stool?"

"In the attic," she told him.

"I thought you didn't go up there…Meredith, you told me you wouldn't."

"I didn't," she rolled her eyes, "the cleaning service asked me about it and a million other things that were not in boxes, and it seemed like it could serve a purpose, so I told them to leave it on the second floor…lucky for you," she laughed, "I could use it to sit down…and help …bathe you."

"Lucky for me is right," Derek chuckled as he embraced her.

They joined Carolyn for a light dinner, and then retired for the night. "Mer…" Derek said, as she lay back in his arms, his hands continuously massaging her belly, the baby every so often letting them know she or he was awake. "What do you want to do tomorrow? I think we have everything ready for the baby…your things are packed, Mom will bring the baby's things to the hospital, she said there's no sense having them sitting there accumulating germs," he laughed, "when we'll only need it to bring the baby home."

"We can do whatever you want," she told him, "I don't think we have anything to do and your Mom's going to kill me if I take things out of the drawers one more time," she smiled.

"We should update the baby's book," he nuzzled her neck, "before our princess gets here."

"I did…" she said quietly, "earlier."

"Oh…let' see…" he reached for the book on the nightstand, and opened to the last page written, and his eyes watered as he began to read.

"_Hello baby duckling…this is your mommy…and I love you so much little one…and can't wait for you to get here. When you're older, I have the feeling you'll have a chance to see how mommies walk like ducks…as we wait for you little ones…and since we don't know if you're our little girl or boy…I hope you don't mind I'm calling you my baby duckling…and you'll see what I mean, since I'm pretty sure that your uncles Mark or Alex and your Aunt Cristina probably have a video to show you how I walk now, and laugh at me…but it's ok…because in a couple of days…I hope you're listening, I'm going to get to hold you in my arms. _

_Today, we saw Dr. Cameron and he says you'll be ready to join us at your own pace, and I think he's right, though he did tell me that you may surprise us this weekend and all I want is for you to be here at the perfect time…healthy and ready for daddy and me to love you and take care of you. _

_I'll have to tell you little one, when you're older how your daddy took care of me…of us…he took such good care of us baby…ever since he found out about you, and I hardly get to do anything for him…but tonight I'm going to try to pamper him just as much as he does me…and baby…you are so lucky…you are going to have the best daddy in the world, and he loves you so much already, just like I do…but your daddy, he'll make you feel safe and loved…as he makes me feel…and nobody can do that better…and you'll have two of us…but I can't wait…till I can see you in you daddy's arms…because I know that will be the most extraordinary moment we have ever shared…our first little miracle…I love you baby…and I don't know how many more days there are before you get here…but I love you more than you will ever imagine…and I can't wait till one day I can share with you how much I love your daddy…and I will pray…every day…for you to have the same kind of happiness and love in your life, when it's time to find your soul mate, as your daddy and I have together."_

Derek put the book down and turned to her, "I love you…I adore you…Meredith…and I promise that I will spend the rest of my life…making sure you know that…"

"I do know," she said and kissed his tears away, "I promise you the same thing…"

Friday morning dawned cold and when Derek went downstairs in the early hours; Meredith had not had a good night's sleep; to fix breakfast, he saw the fireplace had been lit, and when he got to the kitchen his mother was already ahead of him with breakfast preparations.

"Ma," Derek said, "you don't have to do this…"

"Of course I do," she dismissed his comment, "I'm taking care of my children before my grandchild gets here. Your job is to take care of Meredith."

"Mer's told you," he put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her cheek, "not to call her a girl…" he smiled.

"No," Carolyn smiled, as she continued working, "but…it's a fifty –fifty chance."

"You think it's a girl," he grinned. "Admit it."

"I thought Maggie was a boy," she told him, though she smiled.

"Be that way," Derek pouted.

"You," Carolyn placed her hand on his cheek, "are not going to care. Trust me."

"I know," he smiled.

"How's Meredith?"

"Didn't get a lot of sleep last night. She couldn't quite get comfortable and was up so many times."

"It's almost over," Carolyn smiled. "I think we'll have the baby here tomorrow."

"Mom, there was no dilation…at all yesterday."

"I know," she said, "I've had five babies…and fourteen grandkids…things change."

"You really think so?"

"Derek," Meredith waddled, literally, into the kitchen, "Mom…you're up…"

"Fixing breakfast," Carolyn smiled; Meredith was using Mom as often as Carolyn. "Then, I'm going to spend the day with Mark and Lexie, those two bought things they don't know what to do with…and they have not washed anything…so we're getting them ready to baby sit."

"You're not staying with us?" Meredith asked.

"I'll be here tonight. Today is for the two of you…baby's going to be here anytime."

"I was thinking," Meredith said as the three sat at the table Carolyn had set by the fireplace, "we should move some of this furniture around…Derek…it would be so much more practical and we have lots of time today…and I'm not tired…in fact…I woke up with lots of energy we should take advantage while it lasts…"

Carolyn Shepherd smiled, she was about to be a grandmother very soon. "Derek Christopher, you make sure she does not over do it, save all that energy for later…she's going to need it. Meredith, you get some rest today…no matter how much energy you think you may have."

Meredith's energy was channeled into a long midmorning walk along the neighborhood, the two of them holding hands, smiling as she mentioned they'd soon be using one of the strollers to take the baby for a walk, just to make sure the baby got a little fresh air and sunshine. They had lunch at another favorite and sentimental place, the temperature almost nearing fifty had made her want to sit outside, and they reminisced by the fountain about their first official date for breakfast, and how her heart had skipped more than a beat when she'd seen him waiting for her that morning long ago at the very same spot.

She was restless and they went for a walk after lunch. But, then he insisted she nap, and held her until she fell asleep. That evening, at her insistence, they met up with Mark, Lexie, Cristina, Owen and Carolyn at Joe's; Alex was working. Carolyn took on the mothering role again and had them home by nine o'clock.

"Mer," Derek woke immediately upon feeling her absence, and found her sitting on the bedroom chair, and scrambled out of bed. "Hey," he leaned into her, both arms on the chair for support as he kissed her, then bent down to kiss her belly, "what's going on?"

"I couldn't sleep," she said quietly, her fingers fidgeting with her watch.

"It's barely five thirty…let's try to get some sleep."

"I can't…" she didn't look at him; he'd see the concern and a bit of fear in her eyes.

"Hey," he lifted her chin and saw the tears, "Meredith…" he said tenderly, "what's going on…why are you crying?"

"I can't," she said, then hiccupped, "can't even do this right…our baby is seven days late…and…what if it's my fault…and something goes wrong…and…"

"Nothing is wrong…and babies are late all the time…and you have done everything right…" he wiped away the tears, "you know that…"

"What…" she took several deep breaths, for more than the obvious reasons, "what if I'm a terrible mother…Derek…my mother wasn't…"

"You won't be…you're already taking care of our little one…" he put both his hands on her belly, cradling their unborn child, "our little duckling," he made her smile, "has made Mommy's belly very tight right now…"

"I don't want to mess up our baby…"

"You're not…we're doing this together…remember…I have no clue here either…"

"You're humoring me," she rolled his eyes at him.

"I'm not…I'm clueless…in spite of all those nieces and nephews…so…we're first time parents…and we're going to learn together and we're going to do great…because the most important thing is that we love our baby…and we're doctors Mer," he grinned, "how brainless can we both be?"

Meredith laughed at him, "I do love you…"

"I love you too," he said, and then his smile turned into a grin, "come on…"

"What…" she pulled back, "come on what…"

"We're going places…"

"Are you crazy? This is no time to go anywhere. Derek, trust me. It's better if I'm home."

"Oh…Dr. Grey," he teased her, "but you're wrong…it's the perfect time," he smiled at her, his head slightly leaning to the side, that look she could never resist. He helped her up and insisted on helping her dress very warmly and they left the house a long while before sunrise.

"Derek wait," she said, as they were leaving, "your Mom will worry, let's leave her a note."

"Mer…"

"It will take a second…" she said, and went to scribble note for her mother in law.

"You," Meredith turned to him a she recognized the road he took, "are determined to make me a blubbering …emotional…sentimental…"

"Pregnant…beautiful…about to be Mommy…" he reached for her hand and held her to his lips, a long lingering kiss.

"Derek…" she sniffled, "thank you…" and they remained quiet until they reached their destination, and then, he got out of the car and walked around to her side, and helped her shift positions so he could hold her in his arms, her back pressed against him.

"Joe's last night…where it all began," he nuzzled her neck, "and now…"

"The night we knew," she said, as his arms wrapped around her heavily pregnant belly, "there was no turning back…and realized how intense it was…" she smiled, "our mutual thing for …ferryboats," she could feel his smile without looking at him, "over a bottle of wine…and a rainy night."

"Our first sunrise together…" his lips lingered on her neck, "and today…our last sunrise…just the two of us…"

He felt her deep intake of breath, "Mer…you ok…you've been doing that…a lot…and your abdomen's very tight…again…"

She relaxed against him, put his hands over their baby, "Derek…today, this sunrise…being here, it's our first sunrise together…with our baby…on the day we welcome our baby…"

"You're suddenly optimistic…" he teased her, kissing her neck again. "Mer...did you feel that…that was pretty strong for Braxton Hicks…your stomach's tightening again Mer…"

"Derek…" she said quietly, "I've been in labor for about three hours…"

"You're what…you've been…you're in labor…for hours…and you didn't tell me."

She smiled, slowly turned to face him, "we're having a baby…"

"You didn't tell me…Meredith…we…you're…"

"Contractions were twenty minutes apart since about two…then by the time you woke up…they were about sixteen minutes…probably a little closer now…but it's still early, I wanted you to get some sleep…"

"You wanted me to get some sleep…and you're in pain…and you didn't…"

"I'm ok," she kissed him softly, "not too bad…yet…"

"You're ok…" he said, concern all over his face.

"I'm ok…and this…I would not have missed this for the world…the perfect moment…the perfect way to welcome the very special day…when our baby is born…"

"Our fist sunrise," his eyes glittered, "the day we become a family…"

"Take me home Derek…we're going to have our baby…"

Meredith's note to Carolyn had indicated she was having contractions, she had not told Derek and they were going for a ride. His mother greeted them smiling, telling them she'd already called his sisters and she was ready to go whenever Meredith felt the time was right. She had prepared a clear broth for her to get some nourishment, but had first checked with Nancy, after all, it had been three years since the last baby was born in the immediate family, she encouraged Meredith to have Jello as well as a couple cups of tea.

They waited until her contractions were ten minutes apart to call Dr. Cameron, and at seven minutes left for the hospital where he met them at nearly noon and examined Meredith. "You're managing beautifully, and Baby Shepherd is definitely joining us today…you're almost five centimeters dilated," he mentioned the effacement, and discussed what they could expect.

Labor was apparently moving right along without any complications, and it continued in its typical fashion, though Meredith was grateful it was bearable. She had not known quite what to expect, but in the couple hours that followed she was pleased to spend time with her Seattle family who came in and out as their shifts permitted, but as the hours reached the late after noon and contractions intensified she wanted only Carolyn or Derek with her.

"You're doing well," Cameron told her around four o'clock, "you're at seven centimeters, and we're going to have to make a decision about an epidural."

"I'm not having one," Meredith told him, "it's better for the baby."

"Mer…" Derek encouraged, "Jenna and Nancy…they all said…"

"I know," she told him, "but…it's better…for the baby…I can do this…"

"We still have some time," Dr. Cameron told him.

By five that evening she was restless, though doing all possible to remain calm for Derek who was an absolute wreck; nothing calm about his first child being born. There was a soft knock on the door, before Cristina looked in, "Mama Shep…you have visitors. Mer, you doing ok?"

"That's impossible," Carolyn said, "if that's your way of getting me to leave…"

"Really…you do…"

"Cristina," Meredith snapped, "who could possibly be visiting her…she doesn't know anyone here but all of you…and she's seen you already…"

"Your sisters in law…"

"What…" Meredith said, and just then a contraction began.

"Told you," Cristina said to Carolyn, "I'm not having kids."

"Cristina this is no time to joke," Carolyn told her.

"I'm not…Kathleen and Nancy are here…they want to see you…so you can tell them how Meredith is doing."

"Kathleen and Nancy," Derek said incredulously, "are here?"

"Yeah…"

"Let them in," Meredith surprised them all once the contraction was done.

"You want to see them? Now?" Cristina asked.

"Yes…" Meredith said, "you've all been here…they're our family too," and with that, yet another layer of friendship and family bonds would continue to build.

"I'm not the best company right now," Meredith said to his sisters, "but…you flew here…I can't believe…you did…"

"It's the first Shepherd Baby, Meredith," Kathleen said, "of course we'd want to be here…even if we fly right back, so Jenna isn't freaking out."

"She knew?" Meredith asked, just as a contraction began, and all remained quiet.

"Not till this morning," Nancy said, "when we put our plan in action…we'd discussed it with Maggie that she'd stay…she'll come when we get back…she is not waiting to meet the baby."

"I can't believe," Meredith's eyes watered, "you'd be here…I spoke to Jenna, a couple hours ago…and Maggie, they didn't say anything."

Nancy placed a hand over her belly, "we wanted to…hope we'd make it in time, and I just spoke to Dr. Cameron, he says you're doing great…already at eight centimeters and not too bad so far…but Meredith, you may want to reconsider an epidural."

"I'm ok…I can do this…"

"There's nothing wrong," Kathleen said, "with changing your mind, I had my first naturally and that was it…" another contraction, now lasting longer. "We're here…we'll be outside, we don't want to be in the way now…but…we're here…praying for a quick and healthy delivery."

"Thank you," Meredith told them, "Carolyn…you need a break…you and Derek... I'll be ok for a few minutes," she closed her eyes. "Kathleen and Nancy can stay with me."

"I'm not leaving you," Derek said, his hand reaching for hers.

"It's ok…" Meredith breathed deeply, anticipating the next contraction, "take a break…just a little bit…I'll be ok," she said, but Carolyn saw as she placed her index finger under her eyes to hold back tears.

Carolyn spoke, "Derek you need to get something to eat, while you have a chance, and then join us back in here," she insisted he leave with his sisters.

"Sweetheart," she spoke softly to Meredith, "what's wrong…you're doing so well…"

"I…I don't know," Meredith allowed the tears to fall, instinctively trusting this woman who'd only been in her life for months, "I don't know…if I can do this…"

"You're doing just fine…Meredith…I'm so impressed how calm you've been…"

"I mean…being a mother," the tears flowed, her hands over her baby, "I had a terrible childhood…Carolyn…you don't know…I have no idea how to love a baby…my mother was a terrible example…I was a nuisance to her, and she resented me…and I can't …I don't want to be that way …for our baby…"

Carolyn sat on the bed and held her, "sweetheart…you're already a wonderful mother…I know…trust me…you already love this baby, you have from the moment you found out about her…Meredith…I have no doubts you're going to be a wonderful mother. Just like I knew you were the one for my son…sweetheart…I'm not wrong…" and then another contraction, "ok…just go with it…like you've been doing…breathe through it…"

"Carolyn," Meredith said once the contraction was over. "I never thought about having children…until Derek…and even then…I never imagined I'd have someone…a Mom…by my side…my mother…she would haven't been here…if she were alive and well…she wouldn't have been here…thank you…"

"Well…I think she may have changed her mind, and I think she's watching over you now, and is so proud of the woman you are…but, since she can't be here, I am…I'll be here Meredith…whenever you want or need me."

"Thank you…" Meredith said, before she breathed through another contraction. "Tell me about Derek…" she asked, "when he was little."

"Where do you want me to start," Carolyn pushed her hair back away from her forehead.

"When he was a baby…" Meredith said, and Carolyn smiled and began to speak.

Derek wasn't gone long, and when he came back in the room, his mother still held his wife in her embrace, whispering soothing words of comfort, and his eyes filled with tears and he indeed gave thanks for having lived to see this moment, for having lived to witness the birth of a baby he'd known nothing about on the night he'd almost lost his life.

"Mom," he said quietly, "your turn to get something to eat…"

"Hey," Derek took his mother's place, "I love you."

"I love you too," she sniffled.

The next couple hours gave way to transition and at that point, Meredith and Derek were left alone, but not before Carolyn Shepherd leaned over her daughter in law, kissed her cheek, and then said a simple prayer. "Dear Lord, watch over Meredith as she gets ready to bring my grandchild into the world…bless her and the baby and Derek," and she made the age old sign of the cross over her forehead, "as they become a family."

Within the hour, Meredith was in the final stages of labor and Baby Shepherd was welcomed into the world. "Derek…is the baby ok…Derek…" she asked the moment she felt the baby's head enter the world.

"One more push Meredith," Dr. Cameron said. "Just one more…"

"Derek…what's wrong…" she asked without giving the baby a second to catch the first breath of life, motherly instincts already on alert.

"Baby is perfect," Derek's voice was choked with emotions as their newborn's loud cry of protest followed immediately. "Absolutely perfect," his lips were on hers, "I love you," and within seconds their baby was in Meredith's arms and the first time parents fell totally and unconditionally in love with the baby in their arms.

"Derek..." Carolyn Shepherd was the first one to get up and walked toward him, he looked dazed, which was expected, and completely enthralled with being a father, "how's Meredith…the baby?"

"Meredith's great…the baby is perfect… perfect Apgar," he said as his mother hugged him, "all 21 inches…eight pounds two ounces," he said quickly, "ten toes… ten fingers… perfect beautiful baby born at 7:17," and went back in to be with his wife and newborn.

"Derek…" Carolyn and the rest of the voices echoed, "is it a girl or a boy?"

Meredith and Derek were finally alone. After all had been taken care of from a medical perspective, the new family was finally alone together for the first time.

"Hello little one," Meredith whispered to the newborn snuggled in her arms, "welcome to our world…we love you so much…"

"Our little duckling," Derek kissed the baby's cheek. "Mommy can stop calling you that now," Meredith smiled and turned her face and kissed him softly, traces of tears mingled on their lips.

"You made us wait for you…didn't you, but…you're finally here and you were more than worth the wait," she kissed the baby's head…the forehead, "and you're perfect…all ten toes…and fingers…and look at those eyelashes," more kisses, "and I love the little nose…and…Derek," she smiled at her husband, tears of joy in her eyes, "our baby…is bald…"

"Our baby," he said, equally emotional, "is beautiful…aren't you?" He kissed the top of the baby's head, and then kissed Meredith, the baby snuggled safely between them. "Are you curious…little one…to hear your name? We can change it…if you don't like it…" he said, the baby's grip on his finger amazing him, and Meredith smiled; he'd already began to spoil their baby.

"I'm sure," Meredith teased, "you're going to get an answer," and just as she said that the baby yawned and after a few seconds stared into their eyes, and three souls rejoiced as their lives, fated to be together long ago, were joined forever as a family. The baby yawned again and the tiny mouth instinctively turned toward Meredith's breast, and they smiled in wonderment at how wonderful and obviously smart their baby was, and in a matter of minutes since the birth; fell in love, with their once unexpected tiny surprise, now their precious and treasured miracle, all over again.

_The End …of life as they knew it …and the continuation of legendary lovers …forever…_

_A/N 10JUL10 Yes… this brings the story to and end. Many of you read, if the statistics are any indication, but few commented in comparison, and __as I've been hinting , especially as this story drew close to it conclusion, to each of you that has commented up to the last chapter (part 3), comments do have their own rewards. _

_There is an epilogue, written long ago, and dedicated to each and everyone of you that commented._

_Each of you listed below was gracious enough to leave at least two comments, and I cannot tell you how very much it has meant. Please know the epilogue was written with each of you in mind, in appreciation for your support. _

_Missre,lacalleigh,merderluvr,mcmerder,lourdi50,coolio1206,dee,emsoreoangel,g__reysanatomyfanatic,jjp29,pyjamableu,hockeyplayer,nan7,stilllovesgreys,__saturninablack,ailing,andyoullenjoyit,_

_Danielle,,xoxtinysingerxox,__1-derekmeredith,Cahillfive,Mcdreamydreamsofme,Tooattached,fictionlover26,__goldfeather,gottaluvem,mcenglish,serenity of the lake,azqwest,Carolina,_

_Cntrysingerchic,Crankybitch,Divadevine,Doublescotchsinglemalt,Grdkaitlyn, __Halfbakedsourdough,Maurauderstwilight,merderfan93,saturn567,wildfirelover,__writergirl2011,xaxy. _

_Though written, I do not anticipate posting the epilogue here for a while, eventually I may, because I don't like to leave stories unfinished or abandoned. But, for now, in the immediate future, I will email it to each one of you that has commented in the past, and is interested in reading it. So, yes, comments definitely had their own reward as I did my best to wrap the epilogue in what I hope will be satisfactory. There is no way to post email addresses here, but, it is my same screenname : merder4lifetime at aol dot com. _

_Please email me, and I will send you the epilogue. I'm at a conference till Tuesday, but I will respond with epilogue at the end of each day. _

_Perhaps some readers will not be pleased with my decision, but, it was made after many hours of writing, trying to do the best I could, and seeing thousands of hits that resulted in five comments. Thus, my apologies to readers for this decision. However, I drew the conclusion, that if people don't comment, they either don't care whether there is one more chapter or not, or that the writing was so bad and the story so horrible, it wasn't worth commenting._

_Thank you again to each of you that took the time to comment, your support and enthusiasm over the last year has meant so very much. Hope you will enjoy the vision I had for these characters' future when I wrote the epilogue. Warm regards, Jasmin_


	29. Chapter 29

_A/N Sep 21, 2010 – Throughout this story, the epilogue is what I most looked forward to writing, and as the weeks and months went by, in many cases with dwindling reviews and interest, I knew I wanted to share it first with each of those readers that so graciously took the time, chapter after chapter, to comment, in some small way, a special thank you, and hopefully an ending they felt was worthy of the hours they spent reading this story. Each reader whose email I had received the epilogue in July when I finished it, and subsequently, each person that asked to read it received it, and I can't thank each of them enough for their enthusiastic comments on the final chapter of this story, and the vision I had for Meredith & Derek's future. _

_It's been two months since I first shared the epilogue, and wanted to bring the story to its conclusion on the boards before season seven begins. I hope those of you who read this will enjoy my optimistic vision for Meredith, Derek and their families. __Thanks for reading and best personal regards, Jasmin_

_**Heartbreaking Reverberations – Epilogue**_

"Mer," Derek smiled down at the hour old baby that had immediately taken to Meredith's breast, his wife snuggled against his back, "piglet is more fitting than duckling."

"Tell me about it," Meredith smiled softly, "good thing babies come without teeth."

The baby's mouth drooped releasing Meredith's breast, a tiny bubble of milk on the already proclaimed perfect lips. "Daddy's turn to hold you," Meredith whispered to the sleeping infant, "and burp you for the very first time," and placed the baby in Derek's arms.

"Mer," Derek said as soon as he snuggled the baby, removing the hospital issued blue, pink and white little cap, "did you ever imagine…this moment…our baby, here…healthy and beautiful…" his eyes misted, "our baby…"

"Yes," Meredith said, eyes equally filled with tears, "I did…and I knew…it would be extraordinary…"

"Like you wrote," he snuggled the baby closer to him, "the other day…"

"Like I wrote," her eyes met his, each recognizing they were looking into each other's soul, "the deepest feelings of my heart…the dreams of my soul."

"Thank you…" he said, and kissed his wife softly, both still overwhelmed with happiness over the precious infant in their arms, who chose the moment to whimper.

"What's wrong…" Derek asked, less calm than expected of a neurosurgeon with fourteen nieces and nephews, "Mer…what can be wrong?"

"Derek," Meredith smiled; surprisingly the calmer of the two, "burping duty…"

"Oh…you think…" he said, placing the baby over his shoulder, gently patting the baby's back, quickly remembering the times he'd done this with his sisters' kids, he smiled and reached for a nearby burping cloth that Meredith helped to place over the scrubs he'd chosen for comfort during the long hours of labor.

"I guess," Meredith smiled, "you do have burping practice."

"Not according to the nurse," Derek told her, "did you notice how she held the baby almost sitting," he cradled the infant tenderly, "it's ridiculous…none of my sisters burped their kids that way…Ma always had them…like this," he said, emotions impossible to get under control over the reality that it was his child, not another niece or nephew he held, and his wife brought her hand to his face and wiped a tear away.

The slight knock on the door, before it was opened interrupted them briefly, "Meredith, Derek," Mike Cameron looked in and smiled. "I've been threatened by a bunch of impatient doctors and a retired navy nurse…if I don't tell them if it's a boy or a girl."

"What…" Meredith said with a surprised look on her face. "Derek told them…I had him go out there…while they were getting the baby settled…and tell them."

"Apparently," Mike Cameron smiled, "the word perfect was heard several times, but no mention of Baby Boy or Baby Girl Shepherd."

"Derek," Meredith giggled, "you didn't tell them…"

"I told them…I did…" he repeated what he'd said. "Maybe not," he smiled, "I was too anxious and excited to get back in here."

"Dr. Cameron," Meredith smiled, "will you ask them to give us a couple of minutes."

"I'm not allowed to go home," the doctor smiled, "till I let them in here…it's really quite a sight," he chuckled, "all ready to meet this little one."

"Are you ok," Derek asked her, "to have everyone here…you're not too tired?"

"Derek…" Meredith smiled, her hand caressing his face. "I'm exhausted…but…I can't wait for our family to meet our baby…and they're going to hold Dr. Cameron hostage if they don't."

Derek placed the baby back in Meredith's arms, and winked at her, "think I need to be dressed properly to make the introductions," and his wife smiled as he searched in her bag and changed into another pair of dark blue scrubs, and opened the door. "Mike, they can come in here."

Mike Cameron decided to witness the exchange and smiled, reminding him of his own children's birth and his extended Irish family that had anxiously awaited each birth.

Meredith was, as Derek had been, enthralled with their precious bundle, and when she looked up at their family, turned to Derek and reached for his hand as her eyes watered.

Lead by the matriarch, every single one of their family was wearing blue sterile gowns.

"Derek…" Meredith sniffled as she squeezed his hand gently, "I think…it's time we introduce our baby…"

Derek only nodded, his heart filled with happiness and pride and took the baby from Meredith, all the while, several cameras or phones had snapped the look of pure joy on Meredith and Derek's face as they gazed at their baby.

"Hey," Derek whispered to the baby, "time to meet your family," and after taking the baby from Meredith once again, walked with the newborn to his mother, "first…your Granma Shepherd."

"Derek…" Carolyn smiled as her gaze was clouded by the mist of tears, and opened her arms to the baby being handed over lovingly and tenderly.

"Mom…you were right…" he smiled, as his mother snuggled the baby, "meet Victoria Carolyn Shepherd."

"Oh…Derek…Meredith," Carolyn smiled as sentimental tears continued to cloud her vision, while the rest of their family, four aunts and two uncles, had their own emotional reactions, "she's beautiful…absolutely precious and perfect…" her grandmother said, and kissed her granddaughter's forehead. "God Bless you little one…you already have so many people that love you."

"The duckling is a girl," Alex said, trying to sound unaffected.

"McDaddy," Cristina whispered as she took note of Derek's scrubs and so very uncharacteristically, reached for his hand ever so briefly, "you did well…she's beautiful."

"She recognized me," Derek smiled at her, "because of the scrubs…she knew I was her daddy," and hugged Cristina, wondering how she'd react to their news.

"Yes," Meredith said, through simultaneous smiles and tears, "she's already reading."

"She's beautiful," Nancy said, "Meredith…she has your nose…and these lashes," she looked over her mother's shoulders.

"Don't get too close," Cristina told her.

"You have us wearing scrubs," Nancy told her, "we're sterile…"

"Still," Cristina said protectively of the infant.

"I take it," Derek said, as he sat next to Meredith, his arm around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head, "you were responsible for getting everyone all dressed up."

"Lexie and I raided the supply closet hours ago," Cristina told him. "Just waiting."

"Bailey knows," Lexie said, "but couldn't be here, so she made us promise to take pictures."

"Derek," Meredith said suddenly, "pictures…you have to send a picture of the baby…to Jenna, she'll kill me…if I don't. I promised…she'd get the first photo."

"You've got immunity," Kathleen told her, "and when she sees the baby… you don't have anything to worry about. But, she is ready to kill Derek," Kathleen joked, "since she already knows all the details, except," she smiled softly looking at her niece, "that your duckling…is a girl."

"We're going to fix that," Carolyn spoke softly to the baby, "aren't we sweetheart…so your very impatient Aunt Jenna can meet you…" and she walked over to Meredith and placed the baby in her arms, and hugged her daughter in law, and said with evident emotions in her voice, "I'm so honored…thank you."

"I wasn't sure…if you'd mind…" Meredith told her.

"Mind…" Carolyn pursed her lips, trying, but failing to keep her emotions at bay, "oh…Meredith…God knew what His plans were…and they were so much better than I could have ever imagined…for my son…"

"You're not being fair," Meredith told her, "and just because I called her my duckling, doesn't mean she's going to like being covered with water…and tears…because her Mom's just like her water faucet Aunt Jenna."

"Oh sweetheart," Carolyn hugged both mother and daughter tightly; "I love you."

"Mom…" was all Meredith could utter quietly as their family watched, but didn't hear the private exchange; Derek pursed his lips much as his mother had, he was close enough to have been privy to the conversation, and needed to get his emotions in check as he watched the inevitable bonding between the three most important women in his life.

"Dude," Alex smirked, "I'm not asking…she'll bite our head off if she finds out."

"No she won't," Cristina said, "she's in all mellow mommy mode."

"Ok," Kathleen smiled, "perfect picture of the baby for Jenna, except," she said, exchanging glances with Cristina and Alex who only shrugged.

"What…do you mean except," Derek said, "she's perfect."

"Alex," Meredith said, "what are you mumbling about…"

"Ah…nothing," he told her.

"We're waiting," Lexie said, as curious as he was, "to see whose hair she got."

"Her daddy's," Meredith smiled and removed the baby's cap, to startled gasps before the corresponding oohs and ahhs…and quiet laughter followed.

"She's bald," Mark said, patting Derek on the back, "Shep…how did you manage?"

"Hey princess," Derek took her back from Meredith, "we're just going to have to change our mind, aren't we…about your godfather…he's making fun of your hair."

"I am not," Mark said, and reached to take the baby from Derek, who held back.

"I think," Derek smiled and looked at Kathleen, "this is one time…you won't mind we go in order of the oldest…" and placed the baby in her arms.

"I don't mind at all," Kathleen sniffled, "hello Victoria Carolyn, you're going to be the most spoiled little girl in the world…starting with your Granma who's just beaming with pride…her namesake…but, we're not going to keep you or your Mommy and Daddy up too long today…and you still have lots of aunts and uncles to meet," she spoke softly to the baby. "I guess…now…you get to go to your Aunt Nancy," she said, and the baby was passed on, one by one.

"Victoria," Nancy smiled, "very old fashioned name…and you've just made your great aunt very happy…because she was right on target…she guessed the day and time of your birth right down to a few minutes," she spoke of Patricia's bet, "and we'll see how your Mom feels about that vice ridden nun," she said and everyone chuckled.

"Meredith, sweetheart," Carolyn fussed over her, "are you ok? You need to get some rest, we should leave and be back tomorrow."

"I wouldn't miss this," Meredith did yawn, her exhaustion evident, "for the world."

Pictures recording each momentous occasion and introduction of the baby to each of her family members continued and eventually would all be put together in a CD to be shared with everyone.

Alex's beeper sounded, "oh crap…I have to go…"

"Watch your language," Cristina told him.

"Wait," Nancy smiled at him, "hold her…I know you've been wanting to"

"Dude," Alex smiled as he held the infant, "they gave you a very serious name…Victoria Carolyn…with that post it wedding" he smirked teasingly, but softened as he spoke to the baby, "I expected Apple Indigo Blue or Enchanted Ferryboat Sunrise," and everyone laughed, and the object of their attention slept on undisturbed.

"Really, Mer…" Cristina said, "you never mentioned the name…it's very serious …"

"It's special," Derek said, as he placed his arms over Meredith's shoulder and they both smiled at each other, they'd decided long ago what the first name would be, acknowledging the immense significance of the candle house, of the night they were finally able to have their victory dance, "to us…but, we're calling her Tory…Mer decided on that while she read a book on the way to the Bahamas."

"You did like it," Lexie said, "it was a lovely romance and love story. You never told me you'd actually read it."

"Mer seems to think," Derek teased, "it's not hard core to read a historical romance."

"It was," Meredith smiled at her sister, "you were right, it was very romantic…Lexie, and after I read the first scene…it helped settle her name."

Alex's beeper vibrated again, "gotta go…who gets her next?"

Mark took her from him, "it's time she met her godfather. Hello princess," Mark said, the baby looking tiny in his arms, "your dad and I were right," Derek beamed at the mention of dad, "and you already have your outfit for your very first game," he whispered, "we won't tell your Mommy…but, will sneak you in to the ballgame when we go home for your baptism."

"Mark," Lexie told him, "don't you dare…even try it…Mer is right, my niece is not going to be in a crowd with thousands of people…when she's so small."

Derek kissed Meredith and he knew she was getting restless, and went to take his daughter back and placed her in Meredith's arms, to be snuggled and kissed by her mother.

"Meredith," Carolyn smiled, "when does Tory get to meet her godmother?"

"Hey…princess," Meredith smiled as the baby whimpered a bit, and her mother caressed her cheek tenderly, "you've slept through all the introductions…are you waking up…so you can meet your godmothers..." she said softly, and Carolyn and Derek smiled.

"Godmothers," Nancy said, exchanged a smile with Kathleen, and walked up to her mother and whispered, "who have no idea."

"None at all," Derek answered.

"Tory," Meredith spoke softly to her daughter, "you still haven't met Mommy's sisters…your Aunt Lexie…and Cristina…but," she looked at them, "they're both so special to me…that I couldn't pick just one…and if they want…it it's ok with them…you're going to have two godmothers."

"Godmothers…" Lexie said, her eyes watering she turned to Mark, "did you know?"

"Not a clue," he said and wrapped his arms around her.

"Lexie…Cristina," Meredith said, uncertain of their reaction, she held the baby closer to her, instinctively protecting her of any rejections. "You don't have to…I mean…I just thought…"

"Not want to," Lexie walked up to her, looked down at her niece. "Mer…I'm…I don't know what to say…I expected it would be Cristina…and…that you'd pick me…"

"You're my sister Lexie," Meredith said, "I have two sisters…"

"Can…I…" Lexie smiled, "hold her…or…Cristina, do you want to hold her first?"

Cristina only shook her head, "you hold her," and Meredith carefully handed her baby girl to her sister.

"Cristina," Meredith said, admittedly her feelings a little hurt by the apparent hesitation. "It's ok…you don't have to be…she can have just one godmother."

Cristina approached the bed and spoke quietly, looking at Meredith and Derek. "I'm a godmother…you picked me…" the glimmer of emotions reflected in her eyes, she reached over and hugged Meredith. "I love you Meredith Grey," and the two women embraced, both overly emotional, though Meredith would say later as they recounted the story, at least she had tons of extra hormones to account for her tears.

Meredith smiled at her husband, they'd been right to wait…the moment had definitely been worth it as she saw the smile on Lexie's face, and then Cristina's as they each cradled their goddaughter.

"Hello baby," Cristina said, when Lexie turned to her and carefully placed the baby in her arms, "your name suits you…a beautiful princess," and in the years to come, it was one of the few moments of weakness she'd willingly admit to, the moment she first fell in love with a tiny baby in her arms, her goddaughter, "there was a princess you know, with that name and she became a Queen..."

Jenna and Maggie soon participated in the long distance introductions, the expected tears from Jenna as she loved the photos they sent, and before long Patricia was calling her sister and both women shed their own sentimental tears. Within forty five minutes, Derek held his daughter in his arms, their family of three alone once again.

"Derek," Meredith smiled, at the look on Derek's face, both mesmerized with their daughter, "we were pretty wrong about her…"

"What are you talking about," he took his eyes away from the baby, "she's perfect…and she's a girl…Mer…I told you, we'd have our princess."

"I have to admit," she said, "you were right about that…but the rest," she giggled softly.

"So she doesn't have my hair…" he smiled and brushed her lips with his.

"She doesn't have any hair…though…if you look closely," Meredith's hand was gently caressing their daughter's tiny uncovered head, "there's a few wisps…"

"Mer," he said, suddenly emotional, "you're ok…no complications…and we have a healthy, beautiful little girl," he swallowed past the lump in his throat, "I don't care about anything else."

"I've never felt better in my entire life…exhausted…but Derek…the happiness and joy is overwhelming…" she too held back tears, "our daughter…our unexpected surprise… I never imagined you could love someone so completely in just a few minutes…and nothing compares…except my love for you."

"I love you," Derek said, and cupped her face with both hands, "I have never loved you more than I do right now…and our daughter…Mer…she's…what I feel for her..."

"I love you," Meredith pressed her lips against his and their daughter protested with her first real cry.

"I don't think," Derek chuckled, and took the baby who immediately settled against her father and opened her eyes and stared at him, "she likes sharing…"

"She's going to have to get used to it," Meredith told him, leaning into him, kissing the baby's cheek. "Because…I'm not giving up on this…ever…" she kissed him again.

"Neither am I," he smiled, and noticed her exhaustion, though his daughter apparently had waited long enough; not quite two hours after she'd had her first feeding, Victoria Carolyn whimpered again. "Mer, she may be hungry…they said to feed on demand…"

"She's going to be demanding," Meredith said, as she saw her daughter's tiny mouth turn into an adorable and likely sucking reflex, and Derek placed her in her arms and the baby settled immediately but turned her head toward her mother's breast.

"Tory," Meredith smiled, "you're really going to turn into a little piglet…if you want to eat every ninety minutes," and once again began to nurse.

"Mer," Derek said, as he looked over her shoulder, having settled Meredith against him,

"can you believe they took bets…and Aunt Pat won."

"She's a psychic nun filled with vices," Meredith smiled, "of course she'd bet."

"That's like insider trading," Derek joked.

Victoria Carolyn had slept through most of her first hours of birth, but hearing her father chuckle apparently meant there was something going on, and her great-aunt Patricia would joke, she was just as nosy as the rest of her nieces. She opened her eyes and both parents would say she was trying to focus, forget that they knew her vision was rather limited, but she did stare into her mother's eyes and her mother reacted by crying, while her father wiped away the tears on his wife's face.

"Mer…" Derek joked with her, "I still think she'll have my hair…"

"You do, do you?" Meredith smiled and repeated her wishes of long ago, when they'd talked for hours about their dreams and wishes for the baby. "I still hope she'll have your eyes…and dark curls."

Burping duties went to Daddy again as his wife's eyes were involuntarily closing after almost twenty five minutes of feeding her daughter for the second time. Derek encouraged Meredith to sleep once Tory had nursed from both breasts. Reluctantly, Derek consented for Tory to be in the nursery for the night, though she was awake and demanding to be fed almost three hours later, and neither parent could be happier to hold their baby once again.

Two days after her birth on Saturday, March 27, Victoria Carolyn Shepherd went home; a sunny Monday morning in the upper forties, somewhat reasonable temperatures for the month of March; bundled up in the beautiful hand knit items her aunts had made for her; Aunt Nancy and Kathleen had changed the ribbons to pink before they went home the day after her arrival, and her father wrapped her up carefully in the blanket Granma had made for her and placed her in his wife's waiting arms.

Carolyn Shepherd and the godparents waited patiently for the newest member of the family to arrive at home, and after taking their turns holding the baby, burping and changing her diaper, the last duty left to Lexie, they all agreed Tory and Meredith should be allowed to nap, and watched as Meredith lay the sleeping baby in the bassinet next to her bed; the one her godmothers, without being aware of their very important role in the baby's life, had unexpectedly found and Meredith had loved the dainty and beautiful cover, one worthy of Derek Shepherd's little princess…and Meredith Grey's extraordinary and once unexpected tiny miracle.

Tory was a good natured baby, cried when she was hungry usually every two to three hours, was wet, or wanted attention, which was never a problem as there was always a godparent, Uncle Alex or Aunt Maggie, when she visited four days after her birth, ready to spoil her.

Meredith and Derek were exhausted due to lack of sleep, their daughter was up like clockwork; Tory was indeed a little piglet, and it was not a matter of being fed and going back to sleep, she wanted some attention and neither parent was willing to miss out on the time spent with her, even if more often than not, one or the other fell asleep during burping duty, while the other would place the sleeping infant in the nearby bassinet.

Granma was thrilled to take care of her children, and Meredith had undoubtedly become her daughter. But she especially doted on her granddaughter for twelve days after her birth, when she had to go home to welcome another granddaughter; luckily she made it home hours before Kerry Beatrice decided to give her mom a break and arrived two days early. Jenna would tell Meredith, it was the sex…lots of sex that did it, and the two sisters in law would joke about that for years, especially, as their next pregnancy, unexpectedly, coincided once again.

Meredith and Derek were amazed at their daughter's intelligence, the intensity with which she looked at them, surely was an indication of it; though they both agreed they wouldn't mind if she was a little less vocal to voice her discontent. Their princess was loud when left unattended, but when she was sleeping, she looked like an angel.

They celebrated their 11th month wedding anniversary when Tory was eighteen days old, and there was no better gift than watching over their baby. Derek swore she recognized them and was smiling when he spoke to her, Meredith was a bit more skeptical, though she was thrilled the baby held her head up a little better each day. Neither cared when they confirmed Aunt Pat won the bet as to the birth date and sex of the baby, or all of the well wishers that wanted to see the baby the day she went in for her first doctor's appointment in the first two weeks of life, and to please one of her godmothers Meredith put the little scrub cap on her head, delighting Cristina and having most members of the hospital staff snickering over the change that came over the usual serious resident, when she walked to the pediatrician's office holding and cooing to Baby Shepherd.

Their one year anniversary was approaching almost seven weeks to the day of Victoria Carolyn's birth. Derek planned a special evening out, and in preparation, the godparents had been given supervised babysitting duty, while in the presence of her parents. The night of their anniversary, Tory officially had her first sleepover, after her parents dropped her off at Mark and Lexie's at seven in the evening and would be back to get her exactly eleven hours later. Their celebration, their passion fully unleashed without fear of waking up their baby, and at Meredith's insistence at the trailer, kept them up all night as they fulfilled each other's every desire.

Neither parent could understand why their usually content baby, who had now started to sleep about six hours after her last feeding, and after being burped at night, would simply not settle down, and demanded to be held. Later, they'd discover, godparents and Owen, as well as Callie across the hall, had taken turns holding her all night, to make sure she wouldn't cry and spoiled their princess rotten. The minor disruption was quickly forgotten as that very night their baby rolled onto one side, and that milestone was worthy of her parents silent but continued anniversary celebration. The brief disruption to their routine was not repeated, though both sets of godparents, since Owen was as smitten with Tory as the rest of them, would take turns in the months that followed with baby sitting duties.

Meredith went back to work eight weeks after Tory was born, leaving the baby in the care of a nanny, though there was nothing she cherished as much as the time spent with her daughter and much to Cristina's amazement, Meredith didn't mind the shorter hours she'd been assigned. She and Derek discussed and agreed they'd probably have the baby in the hospital nursery when she was a little older, but, for now, preferred for her to be at home in the care of the retired nurse that did not mind adjusting to their schedule, as she had decided to stay home to raise her now college bound children.

Victoria Carolyn and Kerry Beatrice were baptized in the old family church by the old family priest, and at just over three months old, the babies seemed to enjoy their time together, in fact, Meredith and Jenna were amazed when they'd put them down in the same playpen and the babies fell asleep almost cuddling with each other. It was the beginning of a lifelong bond of family and friendship between the two youngest additions to the Shepherd family.

Granma gave her seal of approval to the fifty year old nanny during her visit to Seattle when Tory was five months old, and agreed with Meredith and Derek that it was best not to have the baby in daycare at the hospital all the time. The nanny, would become a trusted member of the family for years to come, encouraged by Jenna and her sisters in law, who had, as they'd become successful doctors, taken advantage of keeping the babies at home, though they did also use the daycare facilities to spend time with the babies during the days going home might not be possible.

"Derek," Meredith whispered, "wake up…"

"Tired…so tired…"

"Derek," Meredith insisted, "you have to see this…"

"So tired…Mer…lemme sleep…" his wife smiled and ignored him.

"Dada…dada…" he felt the pounding of little fists first, "dada…" then the fail proof attention getter, his daughter's sloppy kiss and when he opened his eyes, the two identical smiles that never failed to make his heart skip a beat.

"Morning princess," he said, and his little girl laughed and reached for his face with two small chubby hands and rubbed her nose with his.

"Dada," she smiled and drooled all over him, "Mama…" she turned to make sure her mother was not far away and then reached for Meredith. "Mama…"

"Tory," Meredith hugged her, "Daddy was lazy and missed what you learned today," she teased, "and didn't even get to see you playing in the snow with your Bowdoin mittens."

"You're not a good liar," he smiled at his wife's taunting.

"Mama," the baby smiled and just as with her father, put her hands on her mom's face and rubbed her nose, "Mama…" she smiled as she drooled all over her mother.

"I love you Tory," the little girl beamed as if understanding, "do I get a kiss?"

The little girl smiled, "Mama…" and threw herself back over to her father, "Dada…"

"So much for loyalty," Meredith smiled as she watch her husband and daughter, "who carried you for forty one weeks…"

"Mommy's feeling neglected," Derek smiled and settling their daughter between them, leaned over to kiss his wife, an interruption their daughter was not happy about.

"Mama…" she got herself up quickly, "Dada…" and slobbered them both with drooly kisses.

"Derek," Meredith smiled, "Merry Christmas…"

"Merry Christmas," he smiled, "I love you…"

"I love you too," she said, and Tory seemed satisfied that she was indeed their center of attention as she lay back between them and began her baby talk, "Mama…Bee…"

"She's happy," Derek smiled at Meredith, "her first Christmas…"

"She is," Meredith smiled, "until she demands to be fed…"

"Just like her mother," he teased.

"Our first Christmas," Meredith smiled, their hands reaching for the other's, fingers entwined, "as a family."

As if on cue, there was a slight knock on the door, "you and Jenna," Maggie said, as she carried her youngest niece and dumped her on the bed, "are responsible for me being up at this insanely early hour," the two little girls' delight was evident as Tory babbled away, "Bee…Bee…" and Kerry Beatrice giggled, "T…T.."

"What do we have to do," Derek asked, "with you being up this early…Mags…you don't look so hot…are you ok?"

Meredith had a knowing smile on her face, as her sister in law rushed to their bathroom, "she's blaming me… us…for feeling like crap."

"Mer…" Derek said, "she really looked sick…almost green."

"Maggie," he said again concerned when his sister walked out, and his wife went up to her and put her arm around her, "are you sick?"

"I'm pregnant," Maggie said, as Meredith made her sit down on the bed, the babies babbling at each other, "you moron…and it's all your fault, and Jenna."

"You're pregnant," Derek smiled, "that's good…right…"

"Yes…" Maggie said, "except this baby is determined to kill me…I'm as sick as a dog every morning…three boys…and never this sick…and now…"

"And," Derek said, carefully, "this is Meredith's and Jenna's fault…"

"Great," Jenna held two bottles, "she's blaming us for her lack of self control again."

"Lack of self control…" Maggie said, "it's all your fault…both of you…having these two precious babies…back to back…how the hell was I supposed to ignore all the baby feelings…"

"You're having a girl Mary Margaret," her sister sat next to her and hugged her. "Next Christmas…we'll have a new baby girl in the family."

"You think…" Maggie said wistfully.

"I know so," Jenna said, just as her daughter wanted her attention, "Mama…"

"Hi baby…you don't really want me," Jenna smiled, "but your bottle," and the baby took the bottle and lay comfortably between her godparents and next to her cousin.

"Bee," Tory grabbed her cousin's hand, and reached for her own bottle, "Bee…Mama…"

"Yes, sweetie…that's your cousin Bee…"

"Mer," Jenna smiled, "have you noticed how smart these two are…they know each other's name…Bee and T…you're going to give us lots of headaches aren't you," she said as she tickled both babies, who laughed delightedly, before going back to the business at hand, and drank their bottles.

Tory's first Christmas was Meredith's first experience with the Holiday Derek loved, and would also become her favorite as in the years to come they would gather at Carolyn's as often as possible, though they made it a point to visit at least three to four times a year.

"Mer…" Derek whispered late on Christmas night, "it's a really good thing the babies get along so well…"

"It is," Meredith smiled, "they'll sleep with Jenna and Rob tomorrow night."

"At least," Derek teased her, his lips on her neck, "we got a Christmas morning quickie."

"A very good…" Meredith turned to face him and kissed him deeply, "Christmas morning quickie…that apparently wore you out…"

"It's all the silent sex," he teased her, "it makes me tired…when I have to be…"

"Ass," Meredith giggled, "that would have to apply to me too, having to suppress all…"

"Mer," he teased, "if we suppressed any more emotions…we'd be dead," and they both shared in laughter, content their daughter would sleep through most noises.

"She was adorable," Meredith smiled as she looked at her daughter and goddaughter, sleeping soundly in the crib next to them, each one holding on to the stuffed baby sea animals Meredith had bought for them when they were both weeks old in their mother's wombs. "When I was trying to get you to wake up this morning…"

"It was barely five Mer…"

"We're up that early at home," Meredith kissed him, "you missed her sitting up babbling away to the three stuffed animals," she referred to his bear and her bunny and the sea otter, "rambling away and hugging each one before she found me looking at her…"

"And then…" Derek smiled, "she wanted her Mommy…"

"Oh yes…" Meredith smiled and her eyes misted, "Derek…thank you…"

"For what…"

"For a wonderful Christmas…for making me believe that some dreams can come true…that fairytales can happen…you made me believe in magic…and our princess…our adorable duckling…makes me believe in miracles…"

They heard a slight knock on the door, "I thought," Carolyn said, "these two could stay with me tonight…I don't think they'll wake up," she smiled, "and you can sleep in tomorrow morning. I have Meggie in bed with me too."

"We have a very smart baby," Derek smiled when he got back to the room, after settling the babies in his mother's room, and kissed his wife, "getting along with everyone, liking to spend time with Granma in the morning, have you noticed how Tory's been imitating Kerry and when they see Mom, they call her Ma…"

"I have," Meredith said, "but I think…we have an equally smart goddaughter."

"They're both smart," Derek said, "but…Tory…"

"Derek," Meredith was not going to argue with his assessment of their daughter's intelligence. "Did you notice her curls…she's getting a little bit more hair each day," and they laughed and smiled as they reminisced of the moment they'd seen their daughter's bald head, and then as the months went by, they loved that she had her eyes, and slowly, the color of her hair and the curls were becoming her daddy's.

The bonds of family and friendship between Meredith and Derek's East Coast and Seattle families would continue to strengthen as the years went by, and the location for family gatherings were often decided based on events taking place on either coast.

"Mum…mum…mum…" a red headed little boy with blue eyes rushed over to his mother with mischief clearly in his eyes, "mum…look…" he said as he held a dead lizard in his hands.

"What happened," his mother asked, "did it stop breathing?"

"Uh huh…" the twenty month old answered, "you fix?"

"Ask Daddy," his mother said, as her daughter turned to her, "mama…boo boo?

"Yes…the lizard has a boo boo," and the mother glared at the women smiling at her.

"Daddy fix…" questioned the black curly haired little girl whose twin brother had already run to find their father.

"Yes, Daddy can fix it," she grinned, let Owen take care of it. "I can't figure it out," Cristina said, "where does that kid get the mum bit."

"Perhaps," Owen's mother, who was holding her granddaughter, smiled, "it has to do with all those Scottish ancestors."

"He didn't call you Mum…."

"Actually," Mrs. Hunt smiled as she reminisced, "he did when his father was still alive, Mummy when he was little."

"That must be why I keep hearing about the bloody Brits," Cristina muttered, knowing full well her husband of over two years, yes, she'd found herself unexpectedly pregnant, and they'd decided to get married before the twins were born, "when I have to put up with rugby matches."

"Mommy," Tory who was sitting near Meredith, playing with her cousin Kerry, both with doctor play kits taking care of their multiple doll patients, looked up at her mother, "oh …oh…you need soap…like Granma…Aunt Cristina said a bad word."

"I did not," Cristina argued with her three year old goddaughter.

"Uh huh…bloody be very bad word…Uncle Owen tolds me…cause he say that bloody…" she paused trying to remember the word, "men playing with the ball…and Daddy tolds him watch your language," she held her ground. Meredith wanted to laugh, she and Derek were so proud of her and the extensive vocabulary both she and Kerry had already mastered, though neither girl was being pushed as so many children were, it came naturally to them both.

"Tory," Meredith smiled, "Aunt Cristina won't say that anymore…"

"Mommy," Tory got up and went to place a kiss on her mother's belly, "is my baby brother sleeping?"

"No," Meredith smiled, "the baby's actually awake…but honey, we don't know if it's a boy or a girl…we have to wait."

"Aunt Jenna has a baby boy in her tummy…Bee tolds me…can we look inside and find out Mommy?"

"Not for a little while," Meredith said, she and Derek had decided to wait.

"Bye baby brother," Tory ignored her, and went to continue playing with her cousins.

"Cristina," Carolyn Shepherd said as she held her youngest grandchild, Maggie's daughter asleep in her arms. "Look at your son," she chuckled, as the women all turned to look in the direction of the smaller children.

"T…" the little boy said, "you fix… Bee help…"

"We can't fix the lizard," Kerry Beatrice told the little boy, "it no breathing…"

"T…pease…you fix…"

"Ok," the determined little girl said. "We do surgy…but you wait…here," she said, and turned to her cousin and confidant who agreed with whatever she was saying and went to find her older sister.

"Meggie," Kerry hurried over to her sister, "we needs your help…to find a lizard…cause it stopped breathing and we gots to do surgy…cause T tolds Reid we can fix him."

Meghan considered the task and went to the little boy, "Reid, we're gonna fix the lizard ok…wait here…I'm chief of surgery…and Bee and T…are tendings…but you got to wait like in the hospital, in the waiting area," she sent him far away enough while their _surgery _took place.

"Uncle Derek," Meghan ran to him, "quick…you got to help find a lizard that looks like this, but it can't be dead."

"Why?"

"Cause this one is dead," Meghan said very matter of factly, "and Tory and Bee and me are going to fix him and give him back to Reid all fixed."

"My son," Owen said, "is going to need Mark's influence around him…these girls have him wrapped around their little finger."

"Miracle workers," Rob laughed, "breathing life into a dead lizard with surgery."

"Daddy," Meghan put the lizard in his hand, "come help Uncle Derek…" and the two men did as ordered by the bossy six year old.

"Dude the two of you are pathetic," Alex smirked, "controlled by a six year old and two three year old girls."

"Just you wait," Derek smiled at him, "you're going to be just as bad one day."

In spite of the divorce from Izzie, Alex had loved her and when the tumors and cancer spread and it was obvious she would not be among the five percent who had the five percent chance of survival, he'd spent the last month of her life caring for her; then he'd taken a leave and made peace with his family's past. His sister, with his encouragement would become a college graduate. That had been over two years ago, and his Seattle family was happy he'd finally been able to leave some of the cynicism behind and had recently started dating someone he was serious about.

"Mum," the read headed child said, "lizard fixed now?"

"I'm not sure," Cristina went along, "let's wait and see what the doctors say."

"Ok," the little boy climbed on his mother's lap, "love you mum…"

"Love you too," she hugged him, kissing the top of his head.

"Well…" Jenna laughed, as she rubbed her almost six month pregnant belly, "look what the cat dragged in…" and the women sitting scattered below the canopy of trees, offering welcome shade in the month of May on Derek and Meredith's land, turned toward the newlywed couple.

"Uncle Mak," Reid scrambled off his mother's lap and ran towards the Sloans, "you help… T and Bee doctors?"

"Another lizard bit the dust?" Mark turned to Cristina who nodded.

"What are you doing here?" Kathleen asked. "Shouldn't you be on your way?"

"Our flight got cancelled out of LA," Lexie told them, "so we'll leave tomorrow."

"You've been married one night, and you had nothing better to do," Maggie teased them, "then join us?"

"Why not?" Mark said. "You're all here. We won't see you again till Christmas…it was Lexie's idea to come out for the barbecue, we needed food."

"It was actually Mark's idea," Lexie teased him, "since I dragged him from the reception last night…he didn't get to see the kids," she put his arm around him, and he didn't disagree with her.

"Lexie dear," Patricia said to her, "do you remember Meredith's baby shower?"

"Of course," Lexie told her.

"Come sit with me," Patricia encouraged, and when she did, "unless you want to travel East for a baptism early next year…" and Lexie smiled when she'd finished talking, "he's going to be very persuasive…he wants kids…and he sees everyone having their own."

"Mum…mum," Reid came back with his miraculously revived lizard, "all fixed…"

"So it is," Cristina petted the darker color pet, "did you thank the doctors?"

"Yes," he beamed, "me kiss…Bea…me kiss T…"

"Proud of you Reid," Mark lifted him and carried him on his shoulders toward the barbecue area, where all the men had been put to work to prepare the early evening dinner, "a true ladies men."

"God help me," Cristina mumbled, "if I have a manwhore in my hands."

"Don't worry dear," Patricia said, "reformed manwhore's make the best husbands…just look at Mark."

Derek made his way over to the women, "dinner's almost ready," and sat next to Meredith who was relaxing on the comfortable teak lounge.

"Admit it Derek," Nancy laughed, "you're here to check up on Meredith."

"I don't need an excuse to see my wife," he smiled, and kissed her softly, "is duckling two behaving," he asked as his hand sought the baby's movements.

"As much as a thirty week baby, in cramped space can behave," Meredith smiled, "and kicking the heck out of me, in every direction."

"That's our future baseball player, aren't you slugger? Practicing your hitting," he spoke to the baby, Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Carolyn," Patricia said, "I do believe we'll be out here again next year."

"As long as you don't look at me," Cristina warned her. "It's always nice to see you."

"Don't worry dear," Patricia said, "I think you've got your hands full," then added very quietly, not quite certain yet, "for now."

"I heard that," Carolyn said.

"Undecided," her sister said. "But…those two…" she smiled, "Carolyn, I do believe you'll be having another Grey grandchild …"

Mark and Lexie's wedding had indeed brought the family together, one of the many times over the years the Shepherds and their extended family had gathered in the home built on the cliff for baptisms, baby showers, graduations, engagements and weddings.

This particular early evening, a post wedding family gathering, had even included Molly, her husband and children, and Thatcher.

Carolyn Shepherd lived well past ninety and was delighted to witness the baptism of her youngest great-granddaughters, Tory and Kerry's babies, at the same church all her children and grandchildren had been baptized.

The family was gathered once more in Seattle, for another poignant celebration. "Without further delay," the older and well respected doctor spoke, "let me introduce the team of doctors that we honor tonight, Reid Hunt, Kerry Beatrice O'Sullivan and Victoria Carolyn Shepherd."

Reid and Kerry spoke first, briefly explaining the research, their families beaming with pride while sentimental tears were shed. Owen and Cristina sat holding hands next to their two daughters; Jenna dabbed away the tears, as she sat next to Rob who held their granddaughter, Kerry's husband holding their infant son. The audience was filled with doctors, many of them were family members, aunts, uncles and cousins that had followed in the second generation family tradition. Mark and Lexie beamed with pride, their three children next to them, as their goddaughter and her cousins began to speak. Alex smiled as his wife held his hand, their two sons and their wives sharing in the celebration.

"Often times," Meredith's and Derek's daughter began, "we, as doctors, get so caught up in the medicine, the science, we forget to acknowledge that all we do, the gift we have been given to heal is a gift God bestowed on us; that is one of the legacies of my grandmother, Carolyn Maloney Shepherd, she taught us…all three of us…to accept the gift of faith and the need for humility. Together, we have been blessed to have found the link to Alzheimer's, the link that will help give so many a better life. Our research for this dreadful disease was in honor of my grandmother, Ellis Grey. Tonight, the three of us honor the memory of the women, our grandmothers and Aunt Patricia, whose legacy taught us to believe in ourselves, but to always remember our talents were God given. They are not with us to here tonight, but they are watching and smiling…Granma, we love you and thank you."

"Now…I have to acknowledge my true inspiration for this research. Mom…Dad, through the years, there'd be a letter in the mail, a gift first made in my name…later it included my two brothers, in memory of Ellis Grey. Watching the two of you, your love for each other and our family, I needed to make sure…our family never experienced what Mom did…what she watched her mother live through…this recognition belongs to you… you made me believe in miracles…that we can have it all…that everything is possible…you made me believe we can all be extraordinary."

There wasn't a dry eye as Victoria Carolyn Shepherd finished speaking; Derek held on to Meredith's hand, as she cradled her sleeping three year old granddaughter, and he wiped away her tears. "I love you Meredith Grey…" he whispered in her ear.

"I adore you…Derek Shepherd…you made our life…extraordinary…"

"Granma," her namesake intruded in the moment "no kissing…it yucky."

"That's right princess," Derek smiled, "it is…" and his wife rolled her eyes.

"Granpa," he still beamed hearing that name, the little girl with the exact same dark curls as her mother and grandfather said as placed both hands on his cheeks, "you forgot…that not my name."

"No sweetie…I didn't forget…you have the most beautiful name..."

"You don't forgot?" his granddaughter asked, "cause of you're old?"

Meredith laughed, the melodious sound that still made his heart skip a beat after more than thirty years of marriage. "Meredith Carolyn O'Sullivan," he told his granddaughter; yes, the inseparable cousins had married brothers, "I am not old."

"Granma…is Granpa old?"

"No sweetie," Meredith smiled, and touched Derek's face tenderly, "he's always young to me…always my knight…in shining…"

"Whatever…" Derek smiled.

"My soul mate," Meredith smiled, though sentimental tears escaped, "the love of my life."

"Granma," her namesake looked at her intently, "you gots happy tears?"

"Very happy tears," Meredith kissed her, "let's go see your Mommy," and followed her son in law, who held a sleeping baby girl in his arms and as soon as he reached her, wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed her tenderly.

"I love you Granma," the little girl said, "lots and lots…"

"I love you too baby," and she handed the little girl to Derek, who carried her as they walked hand in hand to hug their daughter, but waited till she was engulfed in hugs by both her brothers.

"I love you Dad, Mom…" Tory wrapped her arms around her parents, "I love you both so much…thank you…for loving me…for everything…"

"Victoria Carolyn," Derek said to his wife, as they exchanged an emotional and sentimental embrace, "our true victory dance...Meredith…thank you…for another chance…thank you for an extraordinary lifetime."


End file.
